Podcast
Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet
Hosted by PodcastOne · EN
A comedy podcast featuring dramatic readings of one-star reviews written by real people with not-so-real problems. Hosted by siblings Xandy and Christine Schiefer.
44episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
399: Reviews of Running Shoes
2w ago00:51:57Tap to summarizeHow do you think shoes feel about being entered by feet?Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/beach.Upgrade your sleep with Boll & Branch. Get 15% off your first order plus free shipping at bollandbranch.com/toosandy with code TOOSANDYHead to talkiatry.com/beach to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →398: Reviews of Diners with Jessie "Jetski" Johnson
3w ago00:59:17Tap to summarizeA cucumber is not an avocado.Watch Jet Fuel Podcast at https://www.youtube.com/@jetskijohnson and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts!Go to quince.com/beachtoosandy for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter promo code BEACHTOOSANDY.For a limited time our listeners are getting a FREE full sized Mascara on their first purchase with Jones Road Beauty when they go to jonesroadbeauty.com and use code BEACHTOOSANDY at checkout.For a limited time, Home Chef is offering my listeners 50% off and free shipping for your first box PLUS free dessert for life! Go to homechef.com/beachtoosandy. For a limited time, new Cash App customers who are parents can use our exclusive referral code FAMILY10 to earn $10. Download Cash App, enter the referral code in your profile, send $5 to a friend within 14 days, and you will receive $10. Terms apply.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →397: Reviews of Lululemon
4w ago00:56:48Tap to summarizeStatistically speaking you're probably no longer a listener.If your glasses are overdue for a refresh, now is the time. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off your first order. Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Visit Rula.com/beachtoosandy to get started. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/beach. Go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club Subscribe & Save.For a limited time get 40% off your first Hungryroot order PLUS get a free item in every box for life. Go to hungryroot.com/beachtoosandy and use code BEACHTOOSANDY.Shop now at fabletics.com/beach to get 70- 80% off everything when you sign up as a new VIP. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →396: Reviews of Energy Drinks
Jul 101:01:31Tap to summarizeThis stuff literally tastes like blue cheese and smells like cat piss.Donate to Smoking Werewolf Productions - Fright Film 2026! https://gofund.me/5766bf50dHead to talkiatry.com/beach to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter promo code BEACHTOOSANDY See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →395: Reviews of Bath & Body Works
Jun 2401:05:19Tap to summarizeNothing about carrots makes me think bougieGo to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off your first order.Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/toosandy.For a limited time, get 20% off sitewide at bollandbranch.com/toosandy with code TOOSANDY.Go to myskylight.com/beach for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.See if you’re eligible to save money when you bundle your home and auto policies at progressive.com.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →394: Reviews of Raising Cane's
Jun 1700:50:17Tap to summarizeSoggy White Bread was my nickname in high school.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →393: Reviews of Costco
Jun 1000:49:06Tap to summarizeIf they remove the froyo it'll make my life a living hell.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →392: Reviews of Shakespeare or Smut
Jun 301:00:09Tap to summarizeShakespeare coined that term hangy downy bits.Go to homechef.com/beachtoosandy for 50% OFF your first box and free dessert for life! Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch Calendars by going to myskylight.com/beach.Visit progressive.com and give the Name Your Price® tool a try. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/beachSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →391: Reviews of Smut
May 2701:20:53Tap to summarizeHyperspermia, which was new to meVisit Progressive.com and give the Name Your Price® tool a try. For a limited time, Honeylove is offering up to 50% off sitewide during their Memorial Day sale. Use our exclusive link to shop at honeylove.com/beachtoosandy.Go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club Subscribe & Save.Start your business today with the industry’s best business partner, Shopify. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/toosandy.Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →390: Reviews of Shakespeare
May 2000:47:12Tap to summarizeGet thee to a gnomery!Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back.For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter code BEACHTOOSANDY.For a limited time, Home Chef is offering my listeners 50% off and free shipping for your first box PLUS free dessert for life! Go to homechef.com/beachtoosandy.Head to quince.com/beachtoosandy for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Head to talkiatry.com/beach to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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