Podcast
Beach Too Sandy, Water Too Wet
Hosted by PodcastOne · EN
A comedy podcast featuring dramatic readings of one-star reviews written by real people with not-so-real problems. Hosted by siblings Xandy and Christine Schiefer.
41episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
396: Reviews of Energy Drinks
2w ago01:01:31Tap to summarizeThis stuff literally tastes like blue cheese and smells like cat piss.Donate to Smoking Werewolf Productions - Fright Film 2026! https://gofund.me/5766bf50dHead to talkiatry.com/beach to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter promo code BEACHTOOSANDY See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →395: Reviews of Bath & Body Works
3w ago01:05:19Tap to summarizeNothing about carrots makes me think bougieGo to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off your first order.Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/toosandy.For a limited time, get 20% off sitewide at bollandbranch.com/toosandy with code TOOSANDY.Go to myskylight.com/beach for $30 off your 15 inch calendar.See if you’re eligible to save money when you bundle your home and auto policies at progressive.com.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →394: Reviews of Raising Cane's
4w ago00:55:15Tap to summarizeSoggy White Bread was my nickname in high school.Visit Progressive.com and give the Name Your Price® tool a try.Go to shopremi.com/BEACH and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club Subscribe & Save.Save 20% Off Honeylove by going to honeylove.com/beachtoosandy! #honeylovepodGo to quince.com/beachtoosandy for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Thousands of people are already using Rula to get affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Visit Rula.com/beachtoosandy to get started.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →393: Reviews of Costco
Jun 1000:55:10Tap to summarizeIf they remove the froyo it'll make my life a living hellFor a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter promo code BEACHTOOSANDY Visit Progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back. Head to Talkiatry.com/BEACH to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for 15% off your first order. For a limited time our listeners are getting a FREE full sized Mascara on their first purchase when they head to Jonesroadbeauty.com and use code BEACHTOOSANDY at checkout.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →392: Reviews of Shakespeare or Smut
Jun 301:00:09Tap to summarizeShakespeare coined that term hangy downy bits.Go to homechef.com/beachtoosandy for 50% OFF your first box and free dessert for life! Right now, Skylight is offering our listeners $30 off their 15 inch Calendars by going to myskylight.com/beach.Visit progressive.com and give the Name Your Price® tool a try. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join at rocketmoney.com/beachSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →391: Reviews of Smut
May 2701:20:53Tap to summarizeHyperspermia, which was new to meVisit Progressive.com and give the Name Your Price® tool a try. For a limited time, Honeylove is offering up to 50% off sitewide during their Memorial Day sale. Use our exclusive link to shop at honeylove.com/beachtoosandy.Go to shopremi.com/beach and use code BEACH at checkout for 50% off with Remi Club Subscribe & Save.Start your business today with the industry’s best business partner, Shopify. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at shopify.com/toosandy.Go to zenni.com/podcast and use code PODCAST15 for fifteen percent off your first order.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →390: Reviews of Shakespeare
May 2000:47:12Tap to summarizeGet thee to a gnomery!Visit progressive.com and see if you can enjoy a little extra cash back.For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter code BEACHTOOSANDY.For a limited time, Home Chef is offering my listeners 50% off and free shipping for your first box PLUS free dessert for life! Go to homechef.com/beachtoosandy.Head to quince.com/beachtoosandy for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Head to talkiatry.com/beach to complete the short assessment and get matched with an in‐network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →389: Reviews of YMCAs
May 1300:41:53Tap to summarizeLook at them yo-yos, that's the way you do it.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →388: Reviews of Home Goods with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson
May 600:50:07Tap to summarizeDebbie's getting off on this power trip… as she shouldSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcribe →387: Reviews of 7-Eleven
Apr 2900:34:39Tap to summarizeRing, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring....See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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