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Becoming UnDone
132 | MAX OUT: Lubbock Christian Head Football Coach Chris Softley's Playbook for Life and Leadership
00:52:50
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- [00:00]
Toby Brooks
Foreign.
- [00:04]
Coach Chris Softly
This is becoming Undone. It was junior year, the senior year, we do the summer camp circuit. I'm going to play quarterback. I go to Nebraska. Frank soldiers the coach. I play really well. He comes and finds me, is like, hey, you're on our radar. And in my mind I'm like, let's go. He Barbador. Like, this is the way it's supposed to be. And then between that camp and the start of football. So a month and a half, something happened. I tore my shoulder. I mean, snap my fingers. Like, it all seems like it's adding up and then it's gone. It was Tom Osborne. It was, I want to play as long as I can. I felt like I was born to be a quarterback and just apparently not a very good one. Played college football, tore my shoulder. And then you kind of had a. Had an identity walk with the Lord of hey, look, I laid the plan out pretty clearly for you, Lord. Like, what was confusing about this? Had to circle back and think, man, you know, your ways are higher than my ways, your thoughts higher than my thoughts. And I still don't fully understand what that means, and they never will, but just started to be a little bit more open handed to the fact that maybe my identity was wrapped up in this game of football. How can I, how can I use it as a tool, but it not be something that replaces the Lord in my life? I'm Chris Safley, and I am Undone.
- [01:30]
Toby Brooks
Hey, friend, glad you're here. Welcome to yet another episode of Becoming Undone, the podcast for those who dare bravely risk mightily and grow relentlessly. I'm Toby Brooks, a speaker, author, professor, coach, and performance and learning scientist. I've spent much of the last two decades working as an athletic trainer and a strength coach in the professional, collegiate and high school sports settings. Over the years, I've grown more and more fascinated with what sets high achievers apart. Now, failures that can suck in the moment can end up being exactly the push we needed to propel us along our paths to success. Each week on Becoming Undone, I invite a new guest to examine how high achievers can transform from falling apart to falling into place. Quick little reminder here that this podcast is entirely separate from my role at Baylor University. It's my personal platform to explore what I've learned and what I'm learning about the inner workings of identity, resilience and reinvention, and how in the midst of setback and failure, you can navigate your own purpose. Storms.
- [02:25]
Interviewer
This week, I had the pleasure of.
- [02:27]
Toby Brooks
Heading to Orlando for the Maxwell Leadership Conference where I finished up a goal I've had for over five years to finish my speaking certification through Maxwell Leadership. I can remember staring at my dry erase board in my office back in Lubbock at ttuhsc, looking at two entries that at times I thought I'd never finish my MBA and my Maxwell certification. I thought that I've now finished them both. It's wonderful, but as I tend to before I've even finished up one goal, I start in on another. This week also marked the return to classes at Baylor, where I'm teaching a grad class in athletic training and taking two classes in exercise physiology.
- [03:06]
Interviewer
Way back when I was a grad.
- [03:07]
Toby Brooks
Assistant at Arizona, I wanted to pursue exercise phys, but I was forced into teaching in teacher ed. It ended up being exactly what I needed and it's literally opened the doors to my career as I've known it. But in the back of my mind, I always was a little bothered by the fact that I never got to do XPHYS no more. With some hard work and a little bit of luck, I hope to be finishing up my third master's degree and my sixth degree overall in the summer of 2027. But in the meantime, I promise not to abandon this show. I've got some incredible guests already recorded and in production, and some others on the way. Today I'm joined by someone I've admired for years and I count as a genuine friend. He's an incredible coach, mentor and man of faith. He shaped young men into champions, including my own son. Not just on the field, but in the weight room, in the classroom. Most importantly, in life. He's walked with my own family through seasons of growth and transition. He's the kind of leader who doesn't just talk about culture, he lives it and he breathes it. Today I sit down with Coach Chris Softly, head football coach and athletic director at Lubbock Christian High School. We talk about identity, faith, failure, family and the kind of impact that lasts long after the final whistle. From small town Nebraska dreams to state championships in Texas, Coach Softly shares what it means to lead with purpose, stay grounded in grace and keep pushing even after life's knocked you down.
- [04:35]
Interviewer
So buckle up.
- [04:36]
Toby Brooks
This one's rich with wisdom and heart. I hope you'll enjoy my conversation with love of Christians Chris softly in episode 132 max out let's get into it man.
- [04:47]
Interviewer
This week I am super stoked. Guest Joining me is someone I've known and appreciated and respected for a long time, spoke into my own family as A coach for my son, joined by somebody who knows a thing or two about rising through adversity, leading with heart, building champions on and off the field. Coach Chris Softly, thanks for joining me today.
- [05:07]
Coach Chris Softly
Absolutely. Thanks for the opportunity.
- [05:09]
Interviewer
Yeah, so, I mean, it's. It's been quite a whirlwind. And love at Christian is one of those overnight successes, a decade in the making, or in many cases, depending on how you look, decades in the making. TAP state champion, football coach, athletic director, two time Henderson cup champion. You've got this mix of leadership, of grit, of faith into everything you touch. I want to take it way back as a kid. What did you want to be growing up and why?
- [05:36]
Coach Chris Softly
So, grew up in a family of four boys, small western Nebraska town, on the farm, and I knew I didn't want to be a farmer. Although I love. I love, you know, the wheat, the corn, the blue sky. I love that. But I knew that wasn't for me early on. There was a time when Nebraska football was good. It was a long time ago, but there was a time, and when you grew up in Nebraska, that's all you want to do is be a part of the Big Red and, you know, in one way, shape or form. Being a fan is fun. Being a player was absolutely a dream. And then someday being a coach like Tom Osborne, who I felt like shaped the whole state by the way he led with character and conviction. And he started some mentoring programs, and I read his books when I was young. It was just like, man, that's what coaching is to me. And to be honest, it's kind of funny looking back is I didn't actually know that, that, that was about that. Like, Tom Osborne was one of these guys. I thought that was how everybody was. I thought that's how coaching was done. And I thought, what a cool profession. This is what I want to do. I want to impact men. And then you get into it and you realize, oh, man, he was elite and special. And so that's what I was attracted to, was wanting to be a man that takes advantage of the platform. You know, Billy Graham says a coach will impact more people in one year than many will in a lifetime. True or not, man, it's a great perspective on the impact that we give the words coach says. And so I knew early on is, I don't want to waste this life. I want to do things that are eternal. I want to make a difference. And I don't just want to win football games and. And be six feet under and. And people be like, wow, he Was a. He was a really good football coach. I mean, ultimately that's meaningless. I wanted to make true impact like Tom Osborne.
- [07:27]
Interviewer
Yeah, Huge fan of Coach Osborne's work. Famously, you know, Nebraska, the weather conditions, they intentionally weren't a throwing offense. They were, they were a run game grinded out. And that's the birthplace. A lot of people don't realize. It's the birthplace of collegiate strength and conditioning on a formal level. Started at Nebraska where they would take in routinely one and two star athletes at the beginning and crank them out into the Tommy Fraziers and the other folks. So I love that mentality and definitely was a transformative work for me to read his early on. The best coaches I've ever known. They were really good at the X's and O's, but they weren't just masters of the X's and O's. They connected with their athletes and they knew their stories. You've kind of alluded to this, but if I were to just prompt you with that, you, you coach your players to have that elevator speech, that, that 32nd or 62nd summary. Tell me your story, coach.
- [08:31]
Coach Chris Softly
Got it. That. That was it. That was. It was. It was Tom Osborne. It was. I want to play as long as I can. I felt like I was born to be a quarterback and just apparently not a very good one. You know, not long enough. And so played college football. Tore my shoulder and. And then you kind of had a. Had an identity walk with the Lord. Okay, look, I played the plan out pretty clearly for you, Lord, like what was confusing about this? And had to circle back and think, man, you know, your ways are higher than my ways. Your thoughts higher than my thoughts. And I still don't fully understand what that means and we never will, but just started to be a little bit more open handed to the fact that maybe my identity was wrapped up in this game of football. How can I, how can I use it as a tool, but it not be something that replaces the Lord in my life? And so then started to pursue, okay, what does that look like in coaching? How can I pass that on to others?
- [09:23]
Toby Brooks
He's being humble here, but by all accounts, Coach Softly was a fierce competitor at both the high school and the collegiate levels. As a promising high school junior. The injury bug first bit before graduation and it likely hurt his chances of being recruited out of Grand Nebraska. He ends up going to Wesleyan as a quarterback, but with an injured shoulder and a relentless motor, he makes the switch to the defensive side of the ball. And I have to think that A high school career that fell short of expectations due to injury and a college career that was cut short altogether due to injuries again impacted him greatly. And it shows up today in his commitment to training and injury prevention and.
- [10:02]
Interviewer
What I would say is one of.
- [10:03]
Toby Brooks
The most incredible high school strength conditioning programs I've ever witnessed anywhere. It's not just a facility. LC's weight room is nice, but there are bigger and nicer weight rooms in town. It's culture. You heard him mention the legendary Nebraska strength coach Boyd Epley, founder of what would eventually become the National Strength and Conditioning Association. Oscars are famous. They became a powerhouse with a simple formula of recruiting. Guys just like Chris, maybe a little undersized, maybe a step slow, perhaps not quite the prototype for D1 football, but all heart, all motor, Dawg Dogs. And in Epley's weight room, those same guys, they would get that strength and that speed and that quickness to match that motor. Today at Leba Christian, that takes the shape of Warburg, the daily strength and conditioning program that all students participate in. They do command lifts, strength, speed, agility, and a summer program that's open to athletes across the entire city. And injury prevention programming unlike any I've ever seen. Coach Softly and his staff pour into their athletes as people, but they also give him a physical preparation that is second to none. LC athletes look different than their competition, and late in games, they play differently, too. It doesn't mean they always come out on top, and it might not mean that no one ever gets hurt either. But I have to believe that his philosophy was in part shaped by being a kid in Nebraska who realized what the injuries cost him as an athlete and a commitment as a coach to do his best to keep that from happening to his athletes. Later on.
- [11:37]
Coach Chris Softly
Finished playing football on the defensive side of the ball after a couple shoulder surgeries. Came to Abilene Christian University and was a grad assistant there in Abilene, Texas. Loved it. Soft football played at a high level. We scored 93 points in a game. One of the first games that I was in the booth four, and I thought, man, Texas is different. And then met a girl and she was playing basketball there at ACU as well. She later became my wife and. And then Autumn and I have kind of entered into this ministry of how can we take the opportunity to coach and the kind of these two loves of the love of sports and competition and the love of Jesus and how can we walk in in line with what we feel like the Lord placed on our hearts?
- [12:21]
Interviewer
I love how you Put that how oftentimes we have great plans. And even if we communicated those great plans to the Lord, like, why didn't he let those unfold? Give me a chance to be a superstar. I can show you I can handle that, that adversity. If a 16 year old Chris softly could somehow be moved through space and time and land on campus at Lubbock Christian High school today in 2025, and we gave him a couple of weeks or maybe a month or so to acclimate, what would his teammates and his coaches say about him after he had.
- [12:52]
Toby Brooks
A chance to be there?
- [12:53]
Coach Chris Softly
Yeah, if you gave me a couple weeks in that example, I think he, I think he'd pick it up, I think he'd adapt, I think he'd eat it up. He'd be all in. He'd be like, this is, this is what I was missing. Because what I say so often is, is man, I was a 16 year old and I just, you know, people that say they don't have regrets, I don't, I don't get that. I mean, I did the right thing and I was on the right path, but I was, I was prickly and rough and I didn't live with as much grace as I would have loved to. And I, I just had these confusion, you know, issues of how does football matter rightly, why doesn't it matter as much to these guys as it does to me? And, and all that to say is, is we try to build this program in a way. Whereas if I was talking to 16 year old Chris, it would reach his heart and it would make sense, it would put the pieces together in a way that it just took me so long to do. I just, I was smart enough to do it. And that's, that's really the passion of what we do here. We, I mean, truthfully, we tell them a lot. We still work out with the kids, we run and lift. It's like, guys, we're serious, is we're not asking you to do anything. We are totally hook, line and sink or bot in on, like, if, if there's a better way and we find out, we'll change it. But for now, like, trust us, this is exactly what we would want and desire if I was you as a 16 year old. This is how we're going to teach you how to maximize on the field, in the classroom, and then hopefully later on as husbands and fathers and contributing to society 100%.
- [14:25]
Interviewer
And the beauty of being in a place for as long as you have now is that you've gotten a chance to see some of that fruit. You've gotten a chance to be at weddings and you can see how that culture continues to proliferate. The guy that connected us, Doug Gindy, his daughters, both are loved Christian alums. One thing he mentioned to me was how, you know, his, his daughters played softball and volleyball and basketball and you know, they're in college now and even married and, and they're still in the weight room. Like things they learned, the life lessons that they learned at Love of Christian didn't just help them be successful high school athletes. While that's great, it's that enduring normalization of whole person development that I think is so beautiful about what you do.
- [15:16]
Coach Chris Softly
Well, I appreciate you sharing that. That's a sweet story. And, and it really is. I've got a little drawer down here of kind of thank you notes. You know how those are. Whether it's a text from a kid on your phone or it's a thank you note that they write you, those are really special. When you get a hear from their perspective a couple years removed and it's like, hey, you know, we had a phone call the other day from a kid who didn't play football. He played and then he quit and didn't play his last two years. And he reached out, still had my number and, and he said, hey coach, I just want you to let you know that through a long story, series of events, but some things have, have become really clear to me now. And he said, and all of a sudden all these things and these lessons, these, these verses and these teachings that have been somewhere in my heart said they started to come out. And he said, you know, basically he said, I just want to say thank you. And he started telling me a story and it was just, I mean I once I had a daughter, you know, then I started getting emotional all the time. I mean this. I was just like, wow, Lord. Like this is a. May you call it a God wink or whatever, but it's like, you know, those are the things you don't even know. Like he's working deeply in a six year relationship around curves and sovereignly orchestrating. And what a blessing that he just. He allows us to get a small snapshot of the way he's working in us and through us.
- [16:34]
Toby Brooks
I want to jump in real quick here with a personal story to show you that Coach Softley is the real deal. You heard me mention my dear friend Doug Dindy, who's a physical therapist and former colleague at Texas Tech. The Dendy sent both their kids to love a Christian, and they worked on me and my wife to send ours there too. We thought it sounded great, but it was private school, it was expensive, it was way across town, and for the most part we decided to stick with our district, which was great in its own way. All that changed for me after my son Tay's freshman year of high school. He played baseball that freshman year, but suffered a serious ankle injury that required surgery. After rehabbing all summer, he came back for the fall of his sophomore year and he had some encounters with a JV coach that we'll just say were less than thrilling for me as a dad. Although he was still recovering, kind of felt as though he had already been written off by the coaching staff, his chances of making the JV team, let alone varsity, seem like they might be a tall order. We began looking for other options in December and he ended up transferring in January. The adjustment wasn't easy, but he eventually settled in. He played varsity baseball as a sophomore and decided he would even play football for the first time going into his junior year.
- [17:46]
Coach Chris Softly
Year.
- [17:47]
Toby Brooks
Frankly, I was shocked. Tay doesn't love football like he loves baseball, but at LC it's a cultural thing. He didn't want to miss out. Unfortunately, just as he was preparing for summer conditioning before his junior year, he developed this chronic and mysterious stomach issue that left him unable to eat without throwing up, unable to rest, just generally miserable at all times. I knew Coach Softly at the time, but I didn't know him knowing, and I'd worked as an athletic trainer long enough and worked with enough coaches to assume that he'd probably think that Tay was just being lazy and trying to miss summer conditioning so he could sit at home in the air conditioning rather than the 100 plus degree Lubbock heat. In the meantime, we took Tay to specialist after specialist. I called and left Coach a voicemail with the news apologizing for my son's absence. That's when Coach sent me this text that I still have still read from time to time as a tangible reminder of how I need to lead and love the teams God has placed in my path. He replied, quote, receive your voicemail. Tell Tay no worries whatsoever. His health is of the utmost concern and if he needs to miss a couple of weeks to get clear answers and be able to solve issues, so be it. Exclamation point. Let us know how we can help. But we are sorry for him that has taken so long. I know he must be frustrated. It will all be a thing of the past soon. We've been through this with many of our students and the doctors do what they do best. They get to the bottom of it at some point. The best is yet to come. End quote. After a couple more weeks and more tests and no more answers, Coach followed up quote. I cannot believe how much trouble you guys are having to go through. I hate it for you guys. What I told him is we want him on our team. If he's not ready to go day one, so be it. When he's ready, we want him with us. End quote.
- [19:37]
Interviewer
The contrast of being all but discarded.
- [19:39]
Toby Brooks
And forgotten at a previous school to being actively asked about, prayed for by the AD and the head football coach at another. It was jarring for me, but in all the best ways, it was a living example. The coach practiced what he preached. He'd built a culture around love and brotherhood and servant leadership. And it made and continues to make an incredible difference in people's lives. Even now, four years removed from that encounter. My son, who by his own admission played two sports in high school and football was his third favorite sport, still goes to a weekly Bible study for LC alumni that's hosted regularly in the Softly House by Coach and his wife, Autumn. Coach is a difference maker, the likes of which I've not seen. And maybe most personally, I've seen him make a difference in my own son's life that I think I'll carry forward with him the rest of his life.
- [20:28]
Coach Chris Softly
And you're right, it's physical, it's mental, it's spiritual. But we're thankful to be a small part in the big, in the big puzzle.
- [20:36]
Interviewer
Yeah, tremendous. I, I, I know you've got hundreds of those stories. One thing this show has taught me is that every champion has been broken.
- [20:45]
Toby Brooks
Somewhere along the way.
- [20:46]
Interviewer
You don't just win, win, win, win, win, win, win. Life is not just a series of things going exactly the way we wanted it in many cases, thank goodness, Right? What is a moment, maybe from your personal or professional journey, where you truly hit rock bottom?
- [21:02]
Coach Chris Softly
That injury I mentioned earlier, when I was a high school senior, I, I it was junior year, the senior year, we do the summer camp circuit. I'm going to play quarterback. I go to Nebraska. Frank Soldier is the coach. I play really well. He comes and finds me, is like, hey, you're on our radar. And in my mind I'm like, let's go, Katie Barbador. Like, this is the way it's supposed to be. And then between that camp, I think it was like, June 26th and the start of football So a month and a half, something happened. I tore my shoulder somewhere in there. I think I was lifting weights. But I mean, it's just, just the, I mean, snap of fingers. Like it all seems like it's adding up and then it's gone. And that was. I mentioned that, you know, it's just a big test for me in terms of who I was and my identity, how I would respond to adversity, how I was as a teammate. When things didn't go well. For me personally, the senior year didn't work out the way it was always dreamt to be in small town Grant, Nebraska. We were supposed to be the, the next great group to win a state championship. And I love my hometown and I'm passionate about that. We failed on so many of those levels and the expectations and the weight and the promises and, and the dreams. I was horrible. And then. And then go to college and tear it again. And you know, I just. Though that's still hard. It's. It. To so many people, an injury is one thing, but man, to an athlete, when that's your identity incorrectly wrapped up in that, I mean, it's almost everything. And so that was the brokenness. And try to now have an understanding of that. God's discipline is truly a grace of. In so many ways, he's the good father that keeps us from trouble that we didn't even know we were going to walk into. And so, yeah, I miss that. It's still hard watching Husker football games or I watched the Netflix quarterbacks documentary. I just watched episode one and I got done. I told my wife, I said, I just want you to let you know. I said, I still struggle with this comparison of what could have been and should have been and all my dreams and, and. But you know, I ultimately. Just opening your hands up and being like, look like you know better. You're the potter, I'm the clay. And, And I want to use that. What you're asking deeply is, is, no, don't waste that. Like, I want to use that to be more empathetic as a coach. I think one thing we don't talk about enough in the industry is like, man, kids truly respond to empathetic coaches that can look somebody in the eye and say, I get it, I'm sorry. I hear you. I feel that way too. I've been there. And like, trust me, let me walk through this with you. I just think that gives our kids such a, such a relief. We didn't always grow up with that. And, and I think it is a game changer in today's world. And I think that's what you want for your kids. What I want for my kids, I want a teacher and a coach to come up beside and be like, put their arm around them and go, I get it. And, and I'm gonna walk through this with you. And so I, I do think in a, in a sad twist of fate, I think it's made me a better coach.
- [24:12]
Interviewer
We'll be back after this quick message.
- [24:15]
Toby Brooks
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- [24:55]
Interviewer
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- [24:57]
Toby Brooks
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- [25:17]
Interviewer
Now I certainly understand the sentiment. There you go. From state champion in football in 2022, followed by a runner up in 2023, the Henderson cup, which is a really big deal. I don't know if all listeners understand this, but this. When I was at Arizona, they used to talk about the Sears Cup. Now it's the Learfield Cup. In, in college sports, it's like the.
- [25:38]
Toby Brooks
Award for the best overall program.
- [25:40]
Interviewer
And in, in taps that even includes extracurriculars like band and theater and all these things. So back to back, Henderson cup champions. This is, you know, the success there and then even in other sports that you're the ad for, but not necessarily involved in the coaching. Girls basketball is a legacy. Volleyball, your brother Kurt with boys basketball. Looking back on your career and it's decidedly not done yet, what win are you the most proud of? And why?
- [26:10]
Coach Chris Softly
Nothing like asking me what my favorite kid is. Right? Man. What win am I most proud of and why? You know, probably the. The boys basketball state championship. Because it is. It is my brother. It's my little brother. It's somebody that I brought to Texas. You know, it was. It was my idea. I did the persuading. I want it to be a good idea. You know, I don't want to. I don't want to bring him down here to fail, and neither do mom and dad. Right? And so there's a lot to that. But as an ad, that was a program that needed that. That needed to go from good to great. As a brother, we had had a conversation at the beginning of that year, and I had just laid some things out for him pretty openly of, here's what I need to see from your teams now. Like, there's no do over. And if. If there is, you know, we're gonna need to move on and we're gonna need to talk about how we're gonna communicate that with mom and dad. And so for it to switch and for just to go from good to great, I mean, he was elite. The kids were elite. They responded. The toughness, and then to go in and beat a team that was better in every area, 3D1 kids on this team, and. And we got kids that are going to be great lawyers and doctors, but, you know, no. No college basketball players.
- [27:33]
Toby Brooks
The victory coach is referring to. Here is the 2022, 2023 Lubbock Christian Eagles taps 3A state championship, where a talented and scrappy LC team went 32. 2 on the season and overcame powerhouse Houston St. Francis 55, 51 to secure the state title. St. Francis has gone 268 on the year, but it's probably safe to say they were an incredible favorite to win it all in Waco with three D1 signees, including 611 Nigel Walls, who's now at SMU 67 Ford, O' Mary and Harvey, now at Monmouth, and and point guard John Leboy at University of Miami, all on the roster. It was an unlikely victory for Levitt Christian, whose only team member to go on to play collegiately was 66 Asher Fleming, who's now heading into his junior year at D3 Harden Simmons in nearby Abilene. On paper, this was a David beats Goliath kind of victory for a program led by Chris's younger brother Kurt. But the mere fact that when asked for the victory he's most proud of in an impressive tenure at Leba Christian, Chris chooses to point to A victory by a team he didn't even coach. I think that tells you all you need to know. This was a shining example of a culture win. Most of the basketball roster also played football. Many competed in track, played baseball, and all of them trained in Warburton. St Francis would get their revenge beating LC in the rematch last year for the state title in 2024. But in 2023, it was brother Kurt's time to shine. And lucky for Chris, he didn't have to explain to mom and dad back in Nebraska why he had to fire his kid brother.
- [29:08]
Coach Chris Softly
One of these guys on the St. Francis team was a McDonald's All American. I told our kids, I said, we go to McDonald's, I said, we're almost the same. And he went in there. I mean, that, that state championship, that, that one was special because there's so much of love at Christian, a little bit of family, but our culture out toughen teams, staying steady in the boat when. When we got down and things didn't go our way, just the mental and physical resilience and. And then them maximizing their talent. And so that. That one was special.
- [29:37]
Interviewer
Yeah, love that. I will tell you, my family's moved to Waco now, and a lot of athletic championships for Taps and for that matter, band. And a lot of things happen here in Waco. And I will tell you, I drive by that stadium fairly regularly and I think of you and I think of that team and I think of those two seasons, and I'll tell you, I drive by. I will intentionally go out of my way to drive on the visitor side of the stadium because that's where the great memory happened. That's where we won on the press box side. That. That's the home side. And we didn't win that year. But that 2022 season, I want to share a memory with you that. That stands out to me because even though if you look at the score like Lubbock Christian led wire to wire, it was never really in doubt. But for some reason, I mean, they come in as the defending state champions, and it never really felt like we were safe. And I remember watching right before the start of the fourth quarter, you were on the sideline, backs, towns and All State everything. And you're. You're throwing the ball, warming up your quarterback. And I thought, this is a proud dad moment. This is a guy who. I knew parts of your story, but not necessarily all of it. And you're getting a chance to warm up an All State MVP quarterback before the fourth quarter of A state championship. And even though that didn't happen for you, you're there, and you made that happen for him. And I thought, this is the last time these two are going to play catch together, and I'm right there with you. Before I had a daughter, I could talk about this stuff without welling up. But, man, it just moved me to think we're here. Coach Softly is about to deliver the first state football championship in a very long time to the 806.
- [31:20]
Coach Chris Softly
Yeah, it was. That was cool. You just took me back. Hadn't thought about that for too long, so shame on you. But now what I. Because I remember, right. I remember that moment. I remember telling him, and I just said. I said, hey, no matter what, like, I'm proud of you. And. And I always got your back. And. So sorry. I say that because, like, I talk about my story as a quarterback and how I didn't feel like we did achieve those things that I wanted to for my school or my city, and just knowing that our kids were that same pressure on their shoulders, and so playing Kiss like we've done a thousand times and just have those words come out, and I was like, man, that was like. That was really good. Like. Like, it wasn't me that. It was just like, man, that's what I. That's what I needed to hear. That's what he needed to hear. That's what I need to hear at high school. It's just like. Like, go play out of freedom. Like, no matter what, man, like, let it rip, and we'll let the results follow. They may. And. And no matter what, I'm proud of you. I love you. I got your back. And so that. That's what got me when you said that story, because then the cool part is, is that, you know, we let it rip. And. And those guys, we scored, what, we scored 21 points in 55 seconds. Yeah. And that was. That was sweet. That was special. And it was just like a. A total eruption of many, many years of West Texas not winning state championships. Love it, Christian. And. And it. That was a special moment. That was. That was a lot of joy. It was. It was special, 100%.
- [33:01]
Interviewer
And I love the way you say that, because that was like a culmination of years of work in a quarter of football. You have created an incredible culture at Lubbock, Christian. For listeners not aware, I taught a sports performance class. And coach, you were kind enough to let my class walk through. And their takeaway from watching you coach your coaches before the start of the season was. I've never encountered a culture like this where the leadership is so bought into the, the overall vision, but also bought into one another. And so that culture is there. Your athletic development program from Warbird. I say this to my wife all the time. If you go watch a Lubbock Christian game, you can tell that Lubbock Christian is going to be there in the fourth quarter. Their kids are conditioned differently, they train differently, they're, they're instructed how to eat differently. And granted they're high school kids, they're going to make mistakes and they're going to, you know, goof off in the weight room from time to time. But the culture that you've created starting in that weight room, and maybe it goes back to your Nebraska roots, Boyd Epley and those things. That's right, that concept and, and if you're listening to this, you can't see it, but there's max out and there's an Air Jordan behind this concept. How do you lead young athletes not just to play well, but to become strong, grounded, whole person humans?
- [34:19]
Coach Chris Softly
Well, I think that's where it starts, is right there is. We, we talk about it being holistic is, I just think so often even as, as humans, certainly as coaches is we just feel like we've got this fortune. Like I, I check my faith box on Sundays and I check my marriage box on Wednesday night date nights and I, I do my job 8 to 5 and, and hump day and ready for the weekend. Everything is segmented. And I just don't see that, I don't see that in scripture. I don't see that in, I don't even see that in wisdom in the world. Like the, the way to do it right is everything holistically bound. And when you can be your authentic self at all times, that's when you can maximize, that's when you can flourish. And when we talk about like true fulfillment and that being kind of the reward is, is like being your absolute best to the call of purpose and potential that you're called to. Why would we set a goal anything lower than that? And so we just said it really clearly from the get go, is I believe in clear visions, consistency and confrontation. I think those three Cs are what I tell everybody. Like that's how we build culture. And we have rival schools that come over all the time. They're like, hey, tell us how you guys built this. And I'm like, I'm going to tell you and I'm not going to hide anything from you because I don't think you're gonna, I don't think you're gonna do it because it takes a special staff, takes special administration, it takes unbelievable parents. And so, you know, it's, it's hard to do it, hard to replicate. That's what makes Lubbock Christian so special. But getting kids to buy in on. I want to maximize the talents I've been given. Whether it's one talent, two talents, or five talents, I need to maximize my role that I've been given in this time. And this guy's going to help me do it, and these coaches are going to help me do it. And so, you know, when, when the master comes back and says, what have you done with the talents I've given you? I wanna, I wanna be able to say, I've invested them, I've worked, I've. I'm trained, and here they are all, all for your glory. And so that, that shapes how we do all of life and, and how we love at home, how we honor our father and mother, how we work in English class or, you know, in our summer job. I mean, it just, it matters. And, and that's what we want is what you talked about earlier is we want young men and young women to leave here and, and to, to just say, that wasn't just lessons I learned. Like, that's a lifestyle and that's how I live. It's, it's changing the trajectory of my life. And, and then husbands and wives from other schools that end up marrying our kids, they're like, man, I'm so thankful for Levitt Christian, because I've got a rock star who's got this different perspective to the way they do marriage and life and washing dishes and, and driving the carpool. You know, everything matters. And they totally try to max out this one life, this brief life that we get.
- [37:01]
Interviewer
Yeah, absolutely agree. I've heard it said if you stay ready, you don't have to get ready. And if the switch is always on, you don't have to flip it. Like, there is something to this, this max out mentality, but you also are able to tap in. I love how you say, you know, the extra point is one of the best litmus tests of a team's character because, you know, maybe you just gave up a big play, but you go in and you block that kick. Like that tells me something about who you are as a human being and that follows through into life. I mean, when you're in the midst of destruction or something that's come unraveled the easy thing to do is to just stay there and to mope and to pout. But the lessons you teach are that, yeah, I mean, it's. We're not superhuman. It's okay to grieve, but at some point, you've got to summon the strength to give me an all out, max out, best effort. I love that.
- [37:54]
Coach Chris Softly
Yeah. Amen to that.
- [37:56]
Interviewer
So today, culture is. Is really all about performance and pressure. And, you know, love at Christian is known throughout the area as being successful athletic program, for sure. And you'll get kids that have aspirations and their athletic identity defines who they are. And they may go there thinking, like, I'm gonna go win a state championship in football or in basketball or whatever. How do you help athletes navigate that identity beyond the game? Because I know you're not just a sports school.
- [38:31]
Coach Chris Softly
I think it's. I think it's one of the most important things we do. Right. I think the gospel is number one, and I think in line, everything else really flows out of that. It's not like there's one, then two. It's like one flows into everything. And. And the gospel absolutely talks about identity. And so we're really open with our kids about who am I, who am I? And we talk about that all the time. Who are you? And. And let them put down foolish worldly definitions about who they are. We talk about there's poor primary identity that comes from your eternal creator. You know, he. He should say, if he was here at the beginning of earth and he created you, admit you, then he probably has a right to say who you are. And then their secondary identity, and that's. That's the titles we get from life. So I'm a son, I'm a husband, I'm a father, I'm a coach. But all those can be taken away honestly. And so that's why those are secondary identities, and then there's those tertiary identities and. And that's where it comes into race, socioeconomic scale and. And all this. And so often we get our secondary and our tertiary flipped with our primary. And that's when life goes awry. And so, yeah, we talk about this pretty clearly. And. And I'm passionate about it, because I do. I think it's a foundational truth is who you are in your core is. Is someone that is not shaken by whether that ball goes through the uprights or not, or whether you hit that pitch or not, or whether you pass that test. Like those are secondary or even tertiary areas. The core is the key. And when you get the Core, right? Then the others flow out properly as well, right? It's like the gears fit in place. And so I, I had a guy that wanted to come in a couple years, he said, hey, I want to film your pre game talk and make some highlight videos. I said, that would be awesome. I said, the only issue is my pregame talk is probably not very fun. I said, because I talk about one thing, I talk about identity. And I said, and I don't get real. Rah, rah. I said, because here's the deal. My kids, the peace of mind, the freedom to go out and play. We talked about this just a little bit ago. That is what matters way more than this spitfire and vinegar that can be gone. In an instance. I remember going to a Husker game and them kicking off and the other team and we got the tunnel walk and Nebraska football and the stadium has such an awesome home field advantage and so you're feeling the momentum and we kick off and they would turn it for a touchdown. And I'm probably 12 years old and in that, my, in that moment, boom. I'm like, that's a great lesson is all this pregame talk and hoopla, it means nothing because it just emptied like a, like air out of a balloon. And so therefore I don't spend too much time hyping us up in pregame art. It's about getting our mind right. Who am I at my core in my identity, when everything goes wrong in the third quarter, who am I still at my core in my identity? And that's what allows Levitt Christian to be steady in the bow for four quarters. Now, it is not, you know, we're not perfect on it, and the head coaches is the chief center, but I just think that's where we start and that's, that's where you got to always circle back to.
- [41:40]
Interviewer
Now. The proof is in the pudding, as they say. I've seen this in, in my own son. He came to Lubbock Christian from a school. He coming off a surgery and he was broken physically and recovering, but I think mentally, like, he wasn't sure where sports fit. I mean, you've experienced that as an athlete where an injury can shake you and make you wonder, like all these plans that I had are suddenly in question. And you and your team and those teachers and that staff poured into him and, and he's now at love of Christian University and flourishing. I don't know that he would be there if he hadn't gone and connected and, and had life poured into him. The way you and your team and your staff did that so personally from man to man, I can't thank you enough for that. Well, I want to be respectful of your time. I could, I could talk for a long while. I got two left for you here. If a young coach came to you today for advice, what's the goals, what's the most valuable nugget, one thing that you could offer them for the road that they have ahead? You're now a mid career coach. You're not ready to retire. There's a lot of miles left on the odometer for you. But you're not a young coach anymore either. What's that one thing you could give them that you think would be most beneficial for their journey ahead?
- [43:01]
Coach Chris Softly
That's great to think about it, man. If there was one thing you could give, and I think about my gas and my young coaches that have come through here and, and if there was, if there was one thing, you know, I think I'm just going to copy the greatest teacher ever, right? Is, is what is the first and greatest commandment. And it's, it's loving vertically and it's loving horizontally. And the reason why that is crucial is because sadly in our profession, I mentioned this with Tom Osborne, how I thought everybody was like Tom Osborne. I realized, man, he's really different. Is we, we just don't do a great job of loving people. Well, I mean if, if you can't play for me anymore, see ya. You know, if you get injured, next man up and that, that doesn't just mean the backup's got to be ready, but it means like literally, you know, I don't care about you. At the end of the day, if you can check your heart and you can truly love God well by your sport and you can be out of that, out of what we receive, we can love others. Well, that just changes worlds. It changes eternities, it changes legacies. Is kids want to feel loved, they want to be seen, they want to be heard. And then, yeah, maybe I'll, then I'll run through a wall for you. But you're not, you're not. You know, it's not even a bait and switch. It's not authentically like, I just truly love you because of what I've been given. I love because I was first loved. And, and I want to pass it along. And out of that freedom, that's how life becomes true.
- [44:39]
Interviewer
And listeners, this is not just platitudes being spouted by. I've got a text on my phone that I revisit from time to time from you. My son was dealing with some stuff and I felt like he had been kind of discarded by some coaches prior to his. His stop there. And your message was completely the opposite. It's. In whatever capacity you can be here.
- [45:01]
Toby Brooks
We want you here.
- [45:03]
Interviewer
And the. The strength. And it's not just my son there. There are young athletes and. And young students all over Lubbock who are enjoying that same idea that we will embrace you. You can be a part of this community. Your acceptance here is not dependent on how well you play. It is literally unconditional. Switch it up a little bit here, Anya. I love music and the emotions that it can frequently represent. If we were to watch a highlight reel of Chris Softly's life so far, what song would you pick as the soundtrack and why?
- [45:42]
Coach Chris Softly
Man, I've never been asked this question. What a. What an in depth question. You're going to see the limitations of my creative freedom here.
- [45:50]
Interviewer
Tay says Softly's got about four songs he plays for Monday.
- [45:56]
Coach Chris Softly
So true, right? I mean, if it works right now. I tell you what, there's a. There is a song. If. If I could, I'll give you the ideal would be audience award by. By Big Daddy Weed. To my audience of one. You are father and you are son. As your spirit flows free, let it find within me a heart that beats to praise you. I've been listening to it since I was a college athlete and it's just kind of the mindset of, like, getting me in the right flow of, like, why am I here? We talked about this with identity. Who am I? Says who? So why am I on this earth? And what. How do I make that practical? Through my training on purpose. Like audience of one by Big Daddy. We would be the. Would probably be the number one song. It'd be funny to ask my wife that question and see what song she'd come up with. She's got better musical repertoire than I do, but that would be my choice.
- [47:01]
Toby Brooks
Awesome.
- [47:01]
Interviewer
Well, I dropped those into a playlist on Spotify. All the guests. It's like a mixtape of all my guests, so that one will make it. How can listeners follow or connect? I know you're not huge on social media. Personally, I follow your wife's work to kind of see what's going on with the family. But. But how can folks continue to be involved in what's going on either in your life or in the work that you're doing at Lovett Christian?
- [47:26]
Coach Chris Softly
I appreciate that she's. She's Been on me about getting more into that. I still got to work through my heart on, on all that. I know there's, I know there can be very much significant usage from that and it can be a blessing. But. So I'm on Twitter at Coach Softly and then I don't even know what Autumns is. But yeah, thankfully she updates everybody on, on who we are and what we're doing. And half the time I learn about our incidences and vacations from other people. I had somebody walk up to me the other day and they told me a doctor's name and I was like, thank you for giving me that random doctor's name. And then, I kid you not, two minutes later somebody else walked up and told me another doctor's name. And I thought we must have posted something, that we were looking for a new doctor or something. And so I appreciate that. But yeah, at Coach Softly and then at LC Eagle Football at Levitt Christian High School and, and all that comes with that. And whatever Autumns is at Autumn Softly, that's probably the one you'll want to follow.
- [48:24]
Interviewer
She'll keep you the most up to day 100%. Well, the name of the show is Becoming Undone. The idea is sometimes life can break us and we come apart at the seams and then beyond that there's a purpose that's left unfulfilled.
- [48:36]
Toby Brooks
We are undone.
- [48:37]
Interviewer
What for Coach Chris Softly remains undone.
- [48:42]
Coach Chris Softly
I think I want to continue to, to live a grace filled life. I think I want to be better at seeing people as Christ sees them, at having time for interruptions, at being willing to let my schedule not lead the way as a type a person and living out of that freedom of which he came for. So that that would be the, that'd be the next step. I probably have a lot of answers to that one. There's a lot still undone in my life. We're a work in progress, but. But that would be the one that. That is most important.
- [49:15]
Interviewer
Love it. Again, talking with coach Chris Sofli, head football coach and athletic director at Lubbock Christian High School. Coach, it's been a real honor. I thank you so much. This one's been a long time coming in my mind. I can't thank you enough for your time.
- [49:28]
Coach Chris Softly
Thanks for the invite. I appreciate you. I'm Chris Safley and I am undone.
- [49:38]
Toby Brooks
What a powerful conversation with Coach Chris Softly. From the cornfields of Nebraska to the championship sidelines of Texas. His story reminds us that identity isn't just what we, we do. It's who we're becoming. It's also about leading with love, staying grounded in faith, and choosing to max out the gifts that we've been given, even when life doesn't exactly unfold the way we'd planned. Coach Softly's journey proves that every broken piece can be used to build something greater, and that true success is measured not just in wins, but in the lives we impact along the way. If you are a friend, have found yourself in the midst of a purpose dorm of your own, then I've got great news for you. You found your place. You found your people. I've created an entire community around the idea of stitching life back together better after it feels like it's all come apart. Now it's up to you. Subscribe Share, Leave a Review or better yet, reach out. I'd be honored and would love to support you during the Comeback. And for high achievers looking to lean in hard to their growth, you'll find ideas, insights and inspiration in my weekly Undone newsletter. It's totally free, comes out every Sunday, and I don't even try to sell you anything. Go now to undonepodcast.kit k I t.com I'm counting on seeing you there. And if you're searching for a way to get inspired or inspire your team, I stand at the ready to help there too. My specialty is coming alongside people, teams, companies, organizations to navigate change, overcome burnout or rediscover purpose. Let's talk. Reach out directly to me@tobyndonepodcast.com don't miss what's coming next. First up, former NFL head athletic trainer John Lopez drops in to share what it takes to stay grounded in the high stakes, high performance world of competitive sport. And then I've got the incredible story of Kewan Amy, whose promising future in the US Air Force was cut short when a horrific motorcycle accident nearly took his life and cost him his eyesight. Today, he's a powerful motivational speaker, musician and transformation catalyst and proudly acknowledges that while he may have lost his sight, he hasn't lost his vision.
- [51:51]
Interviewer
Trust me, you're not going to want.
- [51:52]
Toby Brooks
To miss either one. This and more coming up on Becoming Undone. Becoming Undone is a nitrohype creative production written and produced by me, Toby Brooks. Tell a friend about the show. Follow along on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn at becoming UNPOD. Follow me at Toby J. Brooks on Facebook, Instagram, threads and LinkedIn. Check out my link tree at linktr EE backslash Toby Brooks Listen. Subscribe and leave me a review at Apple Podcasts Spotify iHeartRadio or wherever you get your podcasts. Till next time, this is Toby Brooks reminding you. What am I reminding you of? To keep going. Max out. You got this.