Becoming Undone Episode 132 Summary
Title: MAX OUT: Lubbock Christian Head Football Coach Chris Softley's Playbook for Life and Leadership
Host: Dr. Toby Brooks
Guest: Coach Chris Softly
Date: August 31, 2025
Overview
In this rich and heartfelt episode, Dr. Toby Brooks sits down with Chris Softly, Head Football Coach and Athletic Director at Lubbock Christian High School. Together, they explore how adversity, faith, and purpose shape lives both on and off the field. Softly shares his personal journey from a small-town Nebraska farm boy with dreams of Husker glory, through career-ending injuries, to building a championship caliber program in Texas. The conversation delves into identity, leadership, the power of grace, and a “max out” mentality that impacts not just wins, but lives.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Early Influences and Purpose
- Coach Softly grew up in a small Nebraska town and dreamed of playing and coaching football, inspired by legendary Husker coach Tom Osborne’s blend of character and influence.
- “I want to do things that are eternal. I want to make a difference. And I don't just want to win football games and...be six feet under and...people be like, wow, he was a really good football coach. I mean, ultimately that's meaningless. I wanted to make true impact like Tom Osborne.” (Softly, 07:09)
2. Identity, Faith, and Setback
- Softly’s playing dreams were derailed by devastating shoulder injuries in both high school and college—causing a crisis of identity and faith.
- “I felt like I was born to be a quarterback and just apparently not a very good one...Had an identity walk with the Lord: ‘Hey, look, I laid the plan out pretty clearly for you, Lord. Like, what was confusing about this?’ Had to circle back and think, man…maybe my identity was wrapped up in this game of football.” (Softly, 00:31 / 08:31)
- The process deepened his faith and sharpened his sense of using coaching as service and ministry.
3. Building Championship Culture at Lubbock Christian
- Coach Softly’s approach to strength and conditioning is rooted in his Nebraska upbringing and the legacy of coach Boyd Epley.
- The “Warburg” daily program at LC is open to all, centered on holistic growth—physical, mental, and spiritual.
- “LC athletes look different than their competition, and late in games, they play differently, too...But I have to believe that his philosophy was in part shaped by being a kid in Nebraska who realized what the injuries cost him as an athlete and a commitment as a coach to do his best to keep that from happening to his athletes.” (Brooks, 10:35)
4. Transforming Lives Beyond the Field
- Softly recounts powerful moments when former players, even those who quit the team, later expressed gratitude for lessons that shaped their character and resilience.
- “He reached out, still had my number...he said all these things and these lessons...started to come out...I once I had a daughter...I started getting emotional all the time:...these are the things you don't even know. Those are the things that the Lord is working deeply.” (Softly, 15:34)
5. Adversity, Empathy, and Leadership
- Softly’s recurring injuries served as empathy training: “To an athlete, when that's your identity incorrectly wrapped up in that, I mean, it's almost everything…It's made me a better coach.” (Softly, 22:17)
- He stresses coaches must love deeply and lead with empathy: “Kids truly respond to empathetic coaches that can look somebody in the eye and say, I get it, I'm sorry. I hear you. I feel that way too. I've been there...let me walk through this with you.” (Softly, 23:41)
6. Most Meaningful Victory
- When asked which championship matters most, Softly poignantly chooses the basketball state title his younger brother coached, underscoring a culture of shared success and family.
- “There's no do over...for it to switch and for just to go from good to great, I mean, he was elite. The kids were elite. They responded. The toughness...” (Softly, 26:09)
- The story exemplifies the interconnectedness and support among coaches and students.
7. Holistic Approach and ‘Max Out’ Mentality
- Softly explains his three pillars for building culture: Clear Vision, Consistency, and Confrontation.
- He encourages athletes to maximize every gift—on the field and beyond—by refusing to compartmentalize faith, family, and work.
- “When you can be your authentic self at all times, that's when you can maximize, that's when you can flourish...It matters. And that's what we want...that wasn't just lessons I learned. Like, that's a lifestyle.” (Softly, 34:54 / 36:11)
8. Identity Rooted in Faith
- From pregame talks to everyday conversations, Softly instills that athletic or academic achievement is secondary to primary, eternal identity.
- “Who am I at my core in my identity, when everything goes wrong in the third quarter, who am I still at my core...? That's what allows Levitt Christian to be steady in the bow for four quarters.” (Softly, 40:32)
9. Advice for Young Coaches
- Love vertically (God) and horizontally (others): “If you can truly love God well by your sport...we can love others well, that just changes worlds. It changes eternities, it changes legacies. Kids want to feel loved, they want to be seen, they want to be heard.” (Softly, 43:21)
10. Legacy, Music, and What's Still Undone
- Soundtrack for his journey: “Audience of One” by Big Daddy Weave—reminding him to live for an audience of one, faithfully and authentically. (45:56)
- On what’s left undone: “I want to continue to, to live a grace-filled life...be better at seeing people as Christ sees them, at having time for interruptions...and living out of that freedom for which he came.” (48:41)
Notable Quotes & Moments
-
On Identity and Letting Go:
“Your ways are higher than my ways, your thoughts higher than my thoughts. And I still don't fully understand what that means…and they never will, but just started to be a little bit more open handed to the fact that maybe my identity was wrapped up in this game of football.” (Softly, 00:34) -
On Building Culture:
“I believe in clear visions, consistency and confrontation. I think those three Cs are what I tell everybody. Like that's how we build culture.” (Softly, 34:44) -
On Empathy:
“Kids truly respond to empathetic coaches that can look somebody in the eye and say, I get it, I'm sorry. I hear you. I feel that way too. I've been there...trust me, let me walk through this with you.” (Softly, 24:01) -
On Maximizing Potential:
“I want to maximize the talents I've been given. Whether it's one talent, two talents, or five talents, I need to maximize my role that I've been given in this time...When the master comes back and says, what have you done with the talents I've given you? I wanna, I wanna be able to say, I've invested them, I've worked.” (Softly, 35:22) -
On Enduring Impact:
“That's a lifestyle and that's how I live. It's, it's changing the trajectory of my life. And, and then husbands and wives from other schools that end up marrying our kids, they're like, man, I'm so thankful for Lubbock Christian, because I've got a rock star who's got this different perspective.” (Softly, 36:38)
timestamps for Key Segments
- Intro & Coach Softly's Background: 00:04 – 09:23
- Origins of Passion and Role Models (Tom Osborne): 05:35 – 07:26
- Injury, Loss of Identity, Faith Journey: 08:31 – 11:36
- Building Holistic Strength & Conditioning: 10:02 – 11:36
- Stories of Enduring Impact: 15:15 – 16:34
- On Hitting Rock Bottom: 21:02 – 24:12
- Proudest Victory (Basketball, Family, Culture): 26:09 – 29:36
- ‘Max Out’ Mentality & Culture Building: 34:18 – 37:54
- Addressing Athlete Identity: 38:30 – 41:40
- Top Advice for Young Coaches: 43:00 – 44:38
- Coach Softly’s Soundtrack: 45:42 – 47:00
- What Remains Undone: 48:36 – 49:15
Flow & Tone
The episode resonates with warmth, candor, and hope. Both host and guest are genuine, drawing on real stories, emotional vulnerability, and a relentless focus on loving leadership. Coach Softly’s words are humble, practical, and steeped in faith—each lesson woven from experience, driven by the desire to serve and build others up.
Conclusion
Becoming Undone Episode 132 is a masterclass in servant leadership, resilience, and transformational coaching. Coach Chris Softly exemplifies how setbacks serve as unlikely springboards to deeper connection, purpose, and legacy. Whether you’re a coach, athlete, parent, or just seeking a more meaningful definition of success, this episode will leave you inspired to max out every muscle, moment, and relationship that life offers—gracefully, gratefully, and grounded in purpose.