Podcast Summary: Becoming You with Suzy Welch

Episode: "All I Want for Christmas is the Truth About Me"

Host: Suzy Welch (NYU Stern Professor, journalist, author)
Release Date: December 24, 2024

Overview: A Holiday Deep-Dive into Values, Wants & Self-Discovery

On this special Christmas Eve episode, Suzy Welch draws on the emotional heart of the holiday season to dig into the powerful topic of personal values. Framed around the simple question of "What do I want for Christmas?," she guides listeners to consider the deeper truths driving their desires—at Christmas, and in life. With her signature mix of wit, candor, and self-examination, Suzy uses her own wish list as a lens to examine the core values that shape our relationships, ambitions, and sense of flourishing.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Your Christmas List as a Mirror of Your Values

[01:30 – 10:00]

• Suzy introduces the “Becoming You” methodology: Purpose is found at the intersection of values, aptitudes, and interests.
• This episode is devoted to values: the wants, needs, and principles that quietly (or loudly!) shape our lives.
• Values are granular and specific: “How much money we want is a value. How many friends we want, that’s a value. How much love. How many achievements. How many experiences.”
• Some values feel shameful or are judged in society, making them hard to own and admit—especially if they’re about status, money, or appearance.
• Suzy encourages radical self-acceptance: “I am a true values agnostic. I don’t care what your values are if you’re not hurting anybody. Have whatever values you want. Own them, admit them.”

Notable Quote

• Suzy Welch [08:40]:
  “We gotta stop hating on ourselves and certain values. But the first thing to do is to understand what your values are, and admit them out loud.”

2. Want #1: The Return of Susie the Swan (“The Value of Belonging”)

[10:00 – 20:30]

• Suzy shares the poignant story of a solitary swan—named “Susie,” after herself—who appeared on her home’s pond following her husband’s passing.
• The swan’s presence, and later her mysterious disappearance after 4th of July fireworks, became a profound symbol of resilience, aloneness, and the desire for connection.
• Consults ChatGPT for answers about the swan's whereabouts, exposing both her vulnerability and contemporary ways we seek comfort.
• Suzy realizes her attachment to the swan reveals a deeply held value: belonging and love.
• Though independence brings freedom, she admits, “...my missing of her I think is actually my missing of belonging.”

Notable Quotes

• Suzy Welch [18:05]:
  “She gave me the courage to be alone. She was like this beautiful, noble, regal, brave swan who was meant to be in a couple, and she was alone. And I was that swan.”
• Suzy Welch [20:15]:
  “My attachment to Susie the swan suggests to me that my belonging might be a value that’s a little bit stealth for me. And I don’t even want to say it out loud because it means admitting how much I miss it.”

3. Want #2: More Grandchildren (“The Value of Family-Centrism”)

[20:30 – 32:50]

• Second on Suzy’s Christmas wish list: more grandchildren.
• Jokes about starting a company called “Please Produce Grandchildren” (PPG) and turning it into a viral brand for boomer parents.
• Reflects honestly about her own past: Choosing career over family throughout her children’s formative years, and the bittersweet regret of missed milestones.
• Grandchildren represent a “mulligan” (a golf term for a second chance), letting her embrace the value of family-centrism in ways she couldn’t before.
• Asks listeners to consider: “Is family your organizing principle? Is work your organizing principle?”
• Her present-day tight-knit friendships with her (adult) children reveal how values can shift and bloom over time.

Notable Quotes

• Suzy Welch [27:30]:
  “Frankly, when I close my eyes and I imagine what I really, really want, I just want them all to be producing a lot of children.”
• Suzy Welch [30:11]:
  “To come to terms with the fact now, later in life... I want family centrism to come more into the fore, with my grandkids leading the way. It’s a bit of a mulligan.”

4. Want #3: Earning Her PhD (“The Value of Achievement”)

[32:50 – 41:35]

• Suzy’s third wish: To finish and celebrate her long-delayed PhD, with graduation on the horizon.
• Despite already being a decorated professor, she craves the personal fulfillment and sense of completion this academic milestone would bring.
• Describes achievement as her idea of fun: “My version of fun is receiving a PhD. That’s sort of tragic, but it is who I am.”
• Recalls a revealing conversation with department chair Steve Blader, who questioned why she’d pursue a PhD when her résumé already sparkles.
• Her answer: “Because I want it.” She frames this as the essence of a personal value.
• Explains that achieving for its own sake, not external validation, is deeply motivating for her.

Notable Quotes

• Suzy Welch [36:10]:
  “When I imagine graduating... we’re going to have a party where my goal is to get drunk. I want a party: I play music, a lot of Pitbull, a lot of just dancing.”
• Suzy Welch [40:51]:
  “Why do I want [the PhD]? There is something about having it that meets my needs. I don’t have to apologize because I’m not hurting anybody with it. But the value is achievement.”

5. The Big Takeaway: Understanding Your Wants = Understanding Your Values

[41:35 – End]

• Your Christmas list isn’t trivial—it’s data. It shines a light on your underlying values.
• Misalignment of values with work, relationships, or life circumstances is often the source of dissatisfaction, frustration, or tension.
• Naming these values (without self-judgment) fosters self-harmony and supports flourishing.
• Encourages listeners to use their own wants as a “microscope” to discover what truly matters most, personally and unapologetically.

Notable Quote

• Suzy Welch [43:10]:
  “Our values are our wants. And if we’re having problems at a job or problems in a relationship, sometimes it’s because we are not living our authentic values... God, we just gotta know it, okay? Because it makes life more harmonious.”

Memorable Moments

• Naming the swan after herself, and owning the cringe:
  “I am cringe. Okay, I’m going to get a t-shirt that says I am cringe on it.” [13:05]
• Turning to ChatGPT for animal advice:
  “So I typed into ChatGPT: ‘I’ve had a swan on my pond for years, but this morning she was gone. Where did she go? Will she ever come back?’” [16:30]
• Inventing ‘PPG’ merchandise for grandparents:
  “If I got online and actually made swag that said PPG, like on hats... I would be a billionaire, okay?” [24:56]

Engaging Questions for Reflection

• “What do you really want—at Christmas, or any time? What deeper values might those wants represent?”
• “Is family or achievement, autonomy or connection, your organizing principle? Are you living that truth?”

Conclusion

With humor, honesty, and vulnerability, Suzy Welch turns a simple Christmas wish list into a powerful exercise in values-clarification. She reminds listeners that the keys to flourishing begin by naming what we truly want—without shame, without judgment, and with radical self-truth.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling stuck or searching for purpose, offering both practical insights and relatable stories for the holiday and beyond.