Podcast Summary:

Becoming You with Suzy Welch
Episode: Have You Already Found Your Purpose? There are Five Ways to Know
Date: January 14, 2025
Host: Suzy Welch, Professor at NYU Stern School of Business

Episode Overview

In this deeply personal and engaging episode, Suzy Welch shares her signature framework for discovering authentic purpose, teaching listeners to recognize whether they've truly found their purpose by passing through five distinctive "stages." Interwoven with candid stories from her life (notably a harrowing childbirth experience), Suzy makes the journey of purpose feel real, relatable, and actionable. The episode balances warmth, humor, and gravity, offering both inspiration and practical guidance for those asking, "What should I do with my life?"

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Story as a Metaphor for Purpose (00:03 – 14:00)

• Suzy opens with a gripping account of labor and childbirth—the fear, the pain, and ultimately, the overwhelming joy—using it as a central metaphor for the journey to finding purpose.
  • "I was walking in there and I felt like I was a soldier going to battle knowing I was going to die… I felt great sadness. I felt despair." (05:44)
  • She recounts telling her doctor during labor: "I'm dying. In fact, I am dead… a dead person is currently speaking to you." The doctor laughs, reminding her: "Susie, buck up. There's going to be a baby in this room." (13:00)
• The repeated phrase—"There's going to be a baby in the room"—becomes her refrain for sticking through difficulties to eventually achieve profound outcomes, such as discovering one’s purpose.

2. Purpose Requires a Real Process (14:00 – 24:00)

• Suzy introduces her philosophy: that purpose can only be found by “going through” a difficult yet essential process—much like giving birth:
  • "The only way out is through. It’s a cliché because it’s true." (18:55)
• She breaks down the methodology she teaches at NYU in her “Becoming You” class, noting purpose lies at the intersection of:
  • Authentic values
  • Unique aptitudes
  • True interests
• Most people arrive at her course unsure of their values, aptitudes, or interests, and experience both anticipation and skepticism about discovering their purpose.

3. The Five Stages of Purpose Discovery (24:00 – 49:30)

Suzy defines and walks through five essential stages of purpose discovery, paralleling them with the emotional rollercoaster of childbirth and personal transformation.

a. Elation (24:37)

• The giddy, hopeful initial relief of finally deciding to pursue your purpose.
  • "At the beginning of purpose discovery, I always see people feeling a huge amount of relief… They laugh because they think: I’m finally going to do it. I’m going to take my life back."
• Living by design, not default or mere deliberation.

b. Revelation (28:00)

• The often painful realization of who you truly are and how far you might be from living authentically.
  • "The nickname for my class at NYU is the class where everyone cries… sometimes it’s discovering who you are. But the really sad part, is realizing how far you are from where you want to be and where you need to be."
• Recognizing conflicting values or misaligned interests, which can be both heartbreaking and illuminating.

c. Investigation (34:46)

• Deep data collection and honest analysis, often with input from others.
  • "No one finds out their purpose alone… you have to have pushback… you pressure test."
• In her class, students “speed date” their purpose ideas for feedback, highlighting the value of community in this stage.
  • "It is a lot of commiserating with people who are going through the process or people who care about you. That’s the third stage."

d. Refinement (39:00)

• Repeatedly honing, validating, and presenting your purpose—internal and external testing.
  • "You don’t pluck it out of the sky. You do a lot of hard work. Then you… polish and hone it."
• Students present their refined purpose and envision the next decades of their lives, revealing deeply personal aspirations.

e. Scarephoria (41:58)

• Suzy’s coined term: the exhilarating but terrifying state of being both excited and scared as you step into your purpose.
  • "Scarephoria: the state of being simultaneously scared shitless and euphoric. That’s where growth happens."
• True growth, she says, is never comfortable, nor is it pure terror—it lives right in the sweet spot between the two.

4. Memorable Quotes & Audience Letters (49:30 – 52:00)

• Student testimonial (read aloud), expressing gratitude and capturing the essence of the process:
  • "In this experience, I was beklempt, I laughed, I cried in private because gotta be strong. I commiserated, I schmoozed, and even probably shat myself a little bit." (30:34)
  • Suzy laughs but ties the humor back to the real, messy emotional truths of finding one’s path.
• "I wish I’d done it sooner. But here we are."—the reflective, grateful closing line from her student.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Suzy Welch (13:00): "I'm telling you for a fact, I am dead. A dead person is delivering this baby."
• Doctor (13:20): "That’s what they all say, Susie… buck up. There’s going to be a baby in this room."
• Suzy Welch (18:55): "The only way out is through. It’s a cliché because it’s true."
• Student DM (30:34): "I laughed, I cried, I commiserated, I schmoozed, and even probably shat myself a little bit."
• Suzy Welch (41:58): "Scarephoria, the state of being simultaneously scared shitless and euphoric. That’s where growth happens."
• Suzy Welch (51:12): "The sooner you start, the sooner it’s over. There will be a baby in the room."

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:03: Suzy introduces the “dead person giving birth” story—introducing adversity and self-discovery
• 13:00: The doctor’s memorable comment, frames the episode’s core metaphor
• 14:00: Transition to the journey of purpose and class structure
• 24:00: Introduction of the Five Stages of Purpose
• 24:37: Stage 1: Elation
• 28:00: Stage 2: Revelation
• 34:46: Stage 3: Investigation
• 39:00: Stage 4: Refinement
• 41:58: Stage 5: Scarephoria
• 49:30: Read-aloud of student’s testimonial
• 51:12: Episode takeaway and poetic summing up

Final Takeaways

• Finding purpose is tough, and if you haven’t endured some pain and joy, you’re likely not all the way there.
• The process is cyclical and sometimes messy, but always worth it.
  • "If you haven’t gone through those stages, you got more work to do, my beloveds. It’s gonna hurt. It’s gonna feel great at the end." (49:00)
• The reward is transformative—and like childbirth, the struggle fades in memory, but the result (your purpose) remains vivid and beautiful.

Conclusion

Suzy’s episode is both a rallying cry and a gentle guide for anyone lost in the woods of self-doubt, inertia, or uncertainty. With humor, humility, and hard-won wisdom, she offers a roadmap—the five stages—that listeners can use to interrogate whether they’ve truly found their purpose, or if they (still) need to go “through” it to get to the other side.

If you’re struggling to figure out your purpose, remember: “There’s going to be a baby in the room.” The process may be messy and hard, but something new and extraordinary waits on the other side.