← Becoming You with Suzy Welch
Becoming You with Suzy Welch
What if you had a new language to explain what’s important to you? Now you do
00:30:30
It has just 15 words - simple, clear, and powerful. And the minute you're fluent in it - which is the exact point of this episode -- suddenly the world starts to make a lot more sense, starting with how you're feeling about life, and what you need to do to make yourself feel that much better, more fulfilled, and more authentic. Essentially - more you. Listen in, and get ready to transform your world with a new lexicon of values.
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When my kids were growing up and they were struggling to figure things out, and I was helping them figure out how to talk about certain things, I would say, kids, don't worry. There are words for everything. And what I was trying to tell them is, we will find a way to express what you're feeling inside. We will find a way through whatever problem you're facing. And I feel that the language of values are part of that solution, that there are words for the needs inside of you, the wants inside of you that you've not been able to express at this point as you've tried to build your wild and precious life and chase it down and wrap your arms around it, that's what this language allows you to do. You know, there's that famous poem that says, tell me, what are you going to do with your one wild and precious life? We've all heard that poem, and we all love it, right? But what's the answer? Hey, hello there. It's Susie Welch, and this is Becoming youg, the podcast where every week we explore how to discover, create, craft, forge and lean into your purpose and basically come up with a great, actionable answer. Answer to that question, what you should do with your one wild and precious life. I am a professor at NYU at the Stern School of Business, and I'm actually the director of NYU center on Purpose and Flourishing. And our work is to advance the discovery of authentic meaning and purpose. Why? Because we think that creates better lives for people, and people have better lives. It ripples into communities and families and organizations. And so just this little tiny thing, purpose, is what we are all about and purposes. Boy, I would love to bring you on the journey with me in discovering your own purpose. If you're new to the show. Hi, welcome. By the way, I love you. I am so happy you're here. The way the becoming you methodology works, in a little tiny nutshell, okay, is that it excavates your values. We have a whole language around values, and you're going to learn it and you're going to know your values if you listen to becoming you, and you're going to have words for them and understand them in ways you can't believe. And it's going to change your life. I'm going to put that out there. That's a bold statement. This language can change the game so much for you. I met a woman one time, she said to me, oh, my husband is such a workaholic. And I said, I don't like that phrase. I'm going to ask you to think about this a different way. There's a value called work centrism. It's about the centrality of work in your life as an organizing principle. When you wake up in the morning, what do you want to do? What are you driven to do? For some people, that's work. That doesn't make them workaholics, which is a diss, by the way. This is a person, her husband. I said to him, look, he. He has a high value of work centrism. Maybe your value of work centrism is lower. And that doesn't make him a workaholic. It makes you have a different level of work centrism in your life. Can you talk about it that way? I saw her jaw literally fall open and her eyes get really wide. And she said to me, oh, my God, I never thought of it that way. No wonder he's so mad when I call him a workaholic. And you know what she said to me, which was so fascinating? She said, you know, I used to have a really high value of work centrism. Also. When we first got together, we were working in the same company, and then I had the kids and it fell away because other things became more important. I said, so you can actually understand and respect his value of work centrism, Right? And about two weeks later, I got a DM from her, and she said, you cannot believe what's happened in my house. My husband and I have stopped fighting. We are talking about work in a totally different way. And actually what we've discovered is that I need to re engage with my true value of work centrism now that our kids are gone. And instead of being mad at him, we've decided that I should look for work. Once you know your values, you can understand yourself and love yourself in new ways. So we're going to go over each one of the 15 values. I'm going to tell you what it means. You have all of them, but different levels of each one. So at the end, you sort of have your values. DNA profile, in a way. All these values are on a scale from 0 to 7. 0 being a low expression of this value and 7 being a full expression of this value. As I go through each one of these values in the rest of our time together, I want you to take a second each time and think about how these values show up in you and how much you might have of them. And look, it's important you stay with me the whole way, and I'm going to tell you why. Number one, some values are in harmony with each other. And some values are in conflict. And as important as understanding your values, values is understanding which values you have which might be fighting. And if you've got an oh feeling in your chest, or if you've got a feeling like I can't move forward or I am paralyzed or there's two me's, or I am not sure what my life is all about, you probably have competing or conflicting values. The second reason I want you to stay all the way through is that there are no good or bad values. I am a total values agnostic. If you are not hurting anybody, that's a pretty important clause there. But if you're not hurting anybody with your values, you should have what other values you want. All right? The values are no particular order, okay? We're not doing them alphabetically. We're not doing from most important to least important. We're just doing them, okay? And I actually like to start with the value of scope. Why? Because people understand it instantly and they understand what a value is when I say scope. Scope is about how big a life you want. People just understand this in their bones. We, we use because it's the most scientifically valid. We use a scale from 0 to 7 with all of these values when we do testing. And if you have a seven level of scope, you want a big, exciting, complicated life filled with new people, new experiences, and even, you know, you'll take the chaos, you'll take the unpredictability, you'll. You'll take the, the noise that comes with it because you just love stimulation. You love learning. You know, my image in my mind for seven on scope is Bianca Jagger going into Studio 54 in the back of a white stallion with the lights going. Her life couldn't have been more interesting. Filled with excitement, stimulation, lots of people in it. And down at the lower ends of the scope continuum, you've got a life that is so different. It's tranquil, it's serene, it's contained. My sister has a low scope life. I love her, but, you know, if I called my sister right now, bring. Hello, Ellen, what are you doing one year from today at 2 o' clock in the afternoon? She would be able to answer that question with glee because her life is low scope. It's beautiful. She is a small number of deep relationships. This is a choice how big and complicated and messy we want our life to be or how controlled, contained, and predictable. That's scope. I happen to be myself a high scope girl. I actually grew up thinking I would like to go into Studio 54 in the back of a white stallion, I'm a little bit lower than the top. Why? Because too much chaos and I gotta put a stop on it. But some people, they're chaos junkies. And my. My late husband Jack, 7. If there was a 10 on that scale, he'd be a 10. Big frantic lives versus a almost sort of a beautiful, serene, contained life. Neither one is good or bad. They're just what you want. The next value is radius. Radius, the way I like to describe it is imagine your life is a bomb and it drops on the earth. How big a crater does it leave? This is about how much change you want to make with your life, how much systemic change. Now, look, my mom, I love to pick on my family members. My mom, God bless her, 97 years old, her radius is really small because she actually thought the world she should change was just her family. Like, if she made her kids lives better, that was her radius. But then there are people like Malala who wants to change the world in very significant ways, Ways that will leave a legacy. That's a seven on radius. When somebody describes himself as a social justice warrior, okay, when I have a student who comes in and says, social justice and change in social justice sphere is their number one priority, I already know where they're gonna show up on the radius scale. I myself am really high on this. Why? Because I have a bur. Desire. I would cry at the end of my life if I had not been part of the movement to move the needle on cruelty towards animals, which is a cause I've cared about my entire life long. That's big systemic change. If you think of yourself as a person who must change the world, radius is a top value for you. But if just changing your family or frankly, just changing yourself is all you need and all you want, then you're lower on the radius score. No good or bad. Just you. Non sibi is one of the values that I had to borrow a word from Latin or Greek to describe because people get very judgy about it. And I don't want my values rubric. I don't like the values bridge language to be in any way judgmental. Non sibi is your desire, your need, your want to help other people. This is not radius where you're changing the world. This is like whether or not you want to help other individuals. I had a student one time who said to me, I don't care what I do for work, Professor Welch. I just want to help people. And thank goodness he Went into a career where he was in psychology, he was counseling people. If you really want to help people and it drives you and you decide what you're doing on the weekend or what you're going on vacation to do or what kind of job you want based on how many people you can help a day, that's high non sibi. And for some people, that's just not their motivating factor. Most people want to help people to some degree. And this is about matter of degree. Is it your driving impulse, your driving want, your organizing principle? Again, this is actually the Latin word for not for oneself. In other values inventories, this is called altruism. I don't like using the word altruism because it's got a big halo over it. And nobody wants to say I'm not altruistic when I think about non civi. The most incredible example of a person on very high non civic to me is a woman who I know of in the state of Maine who recovered from cancer. And after she recovered, she made it her life's work to enter marathons so that she could come in last so the people who were cancer survivors who were running to prove that they were had survived wouldn't come in last. She dedicated her life very quietly to that. When the news got out about it, she was so angry about it. But literally she would enter marathons so she could lose so that other cancer survivors could win. That is Nancy off the charts. The next value is family centrism. You know what, everyone says that they value family. And it's so funny because, you know, what does that mean, valuing family? It means, okay, my family lives with us. I have six kids, my parents live with us, and we have every single holiday holiday with my family. And every single Saturday we eat with my in laws and so forth. And family is the organizing principle of my life. But you can say family matters and it does to most people. And see your family three times a year. Okay. That's why there's a scale. How much do you organize your life, your actions and your decisions with your family as the number one priority in your mind? Okay, if family comes first and foremost before every other thing, when you're making a decision or about or having a. Or behaving in some way, then you're a seven on family centrism or a six. But if family is kind of the last thing on your mind when you are deciding what you're going to do over the weekend or what you're going to do with your job or Whatever. Then you're lower on family centrism, no good or bad. So the next value is luminance. Another one that people get a little judgy about. It's fame. It's fame. I don't use the word fame because everybody gets all stinky pants about fame. Oh, you know, if you want fame, you're superficial. Actually, this, some people want to be famous. And you know what, you usually aren't famous unless you try. And a lot of people who we all know and love, you know, Lady Gaga, Elton John, they wanted to be famous. They wanted luminance. You know, you give something up. Like with every value there are trade offs. You give up privacy, you give up a lot of yourself when you chase fame and desire fame. If you want fame and it's part of who you are and you're not hurting anybody, then admit it to yourself. It makes it so much easier to talk to people about why you do things. But if you want total privacy and the idea of, of ever having your picture in the paper or having anybody recognize you on the street drives you crazy, then you're very low on luminance. A zero. I, I struggle with this value all the time because I think I have some of it. I don't mind people knowing who I am. I was in the subway the other day and somebody asked me, are you Susie Welch? And I was like, yes, I am. And I didn't feel bad about it. Okay? So I obviously got some luminance going on and I feel very comfortable with my Gen Z students because you know what, as a generation goes, a lot of them have got a lot of luminance and it's not bad. If you're not hurting anybody, where are you on luminance? Achievement is the value. Kind of doesn't, I don't really need to explain it all that much. I mean, achievement is the desire for conventional success. Seen Success, as we like to call it, seen S E E N how much people see how successful you are. Like, are you known for what you do? This isn't fame, okay? This is about whether or not you are an achiever. Like, I have a friend and she teaches yoga and she doesn't care. She hates winning and losing and she doesn't care how many people clap for her. And she doesn't really want to have a public knowledge of what she's good at and what she's bad at. She is very low on achievement. But I teach a lot of MBAs and achievement is their number one value. They want to be Incredibly good at things, they're driven to do it. There's actually an enneagram personality type called the achiever. Again, this desire to achieve, you know something about achievement, if it's in you, you already know it. There's not a lot of people scratching their head as I'm speaking right now saying, gee, I wonder if I, if I value achievement. You know, if you value achievement because when you were young and you were in youth soccer, you were the kid who cared about the score, okay? You were that kid and you're competitive in that way and you want to win, then you're high on achievement. I mean, okay, I'm off the charts on this. Whatever. A therapist would have a heyday with it. I really like to win and I really like when my book comes out in May. I'm not going to lie. I really want my book to do well. I'm not sort of so so about it. I'm not like, oh, it was the journey of writing the book. You know, I'm really glad it's out there. No, I want the book to do really well. I want you to buy it, go pre order it right now, Just stop listening to this podcast and pre order my book. That's how much achievement I have in me. Okay, Let us move on. Agency, agency, agency. Let's talk about it. It's self determination, how much you must drive the bus, how much you must control events, okay? And if anybody has ever told you you were control freak and you thought to yourself at that moment, they're trying to control me, then you're high on agency, okay? It's how much you want to drive every part of the process, how much you want to be in charge of things. If you want to be your own boss, if the idea of working for somebody abhorrent to you, you, you're probably pretty high on agency. You know, people meet me and they think Susie's got, she's such a fast talker and she's got so much this and that. She's so strong. I'm usually received as very strong. They haven't seen me in, in the dark times, I suppose, but. And so people often think I have high agency. I don't. I'm super collaborative. I'm a low agency gal. I often go along, especially in my family, what the, what the group wants. And I am a low agency person. You know, I'm pretty forceful person, but I am all about harmony and consensus much. I would probably put myself as a 2 or 3 on agency when it comes to Work, I'm a little bit more directive. But if you're a person who feels like something is wrong when it's not your way and you're not hurting anybody with that, that's high agency affluence. Money, money, money, money. The hardest value we have, admitting to ourselves, is how much money we want. I mean, all of my students say they want financial security. Then I started digging deeper, because what does it mean? And I had a student one time, German student, actually. And he said, for me, enough affluence is to be able to rent the little apartment above the store that I hope to open in my hometown in Germany. And then there was another student in that exact same class. And I said to him, okay, how much is enough for you? When it comes to affluence, we have to be honest with ourselves about how big the ball of wealth is. So he wasn't really answering. He was stammering. And I said, let's just put it this way. Let's make it very concrete. When you're flying, do you want to fly coach, business, or first class? And he looked at me like, what? And I said, what? What is it? And he said, I want to have my own plane. And I said, oh, oh, oh, okay, now we're getting to it. And I said. And then he went on and he said, and I want my own helicopter. And I said, oh, really? I jokingly said, and do you want a helipad for each kid? And he said, what would be wrong with that? Okay, so this is a person for whom affluence, I think, is going to be number one. And he actually, it was so important for his life because at that time, he was changing industries. He was pivoting, and he was telling everybody he was doing it because the work of his old industry was no longer interesting to him. And when we dug and dug and he was showing all this conflict about leaving his old industry, he finally said, okay, look, I actually love my old industry. I'll just never be rich there. And I want to be more honest. I want to say, I'm sad to be leaving, but I need more money. You know, whatever happened in his life that made him feel that way, I don't care. He wasn't hurting anybody. And affluence, accumulation of wealth, having a helipad for each kid, that was it. He's a seven on that. Some people just don't care about money. They don't care about how much they have. They just want to get by. And if they have enough, it just doesn't matter. It doesn't drive them at all. Then that's lower on that, okay? We all want financial security. Nobody wants to be feeling a pit in their stomach of not having enough money. Where are you on 0 to 7 and how much the accumulation of wealth and wealth itself drives you? Beholderism is the value that people get all wiggy about, okay? Beholder is in the value that reflects how much you care about how things look. And by things, I mean you and your stuff, okay? And people get all, oh, I'm so superficial. But I've rated very high on beholderism. Beholderism is an aesthetic sensitivity. You want to look good yourself. You want to look put together, you want to look beautiful, you want to look great, and you want your home to be beautiful or you want your car to be beautiful. You care about how things look. Maybe it's superficial, but maybe it's a reflection of wanting order or harmony or self confidence. I don't care where it's coming from. I care about what values you've got because it helps me put them to work in deciding what kind of life you and beholderism. I am high on beholders. And my dad was an architect. My mom was an artist. I grew up caring about design. I love clothes, okay? I want to look good. You know, you don't get to be 65 and have skin like mine without care. I mean, I have good skin. I don't. I did. It didn't happen by accident, okay? That was my beholderism at work. Is it my highest value? Maybe not, but it's pretty high. And I often say I'm going to start a support group for people who find out they've got high beholderism, because as soon as they find out, they go, oh, God, this is so me. I'm so embarrassed. Look, don't be embarrassed. It's okay. It's a value like any other. And it's probably driven a lot of things. It's probably driven what you do on the weekends because maybe you go to the gym, right? And it's probably how much time you spend at the gym. It's probably caused fights with people in your ecosystem who don't have as high beholderism but just own that value. It's perfectly fine. And guess what? A ton of people have it, too. Oh, here's the biggie. Work centrism. It's probably the one that causes the most fights in this world. And this. This is how much work plays a central role in your life. How much do you think about work as an organizing principle. Hi, I am the poster child for work centrism at 7. I love my work. It gives me meaning. I just dig it. I wake up in the morning and I think about what I'm doing. I don't think about what am I doing with my kids or my friends. For some people, work plays a much smaller role in their life. It's not their meaning, it's not their purpose, it doesn't turn their crank, okay? It's almost. There's a different old fashioned word for it, industriousness, right? And some people love it and want it, and other people say, get out of my face. And if you're married to somebody where you have really high work centrism and they don't have high work centrism, this can cause some serious, let's just put it this way, with a big fat euphemism. Some serious conversations, okay? Just own your work centrism. No good nor bad. Just you. Eudaimonia. Here's one where we borrowed a Greek word, not a Latin word, but a Greek word. Because in previous values inventories, what I'm about to describe is called hedonism. And that's a terrible judgy word. And I don't like it, I hate it. And in fact, one of the reasons I even created my whole values inventory was because hedonism, as they called it, is not correct and hurts a lot of people. And I wanted a values inventory that helped people. Okay? So eudaimonia, as I describe it, is a reflection of how much fun matters to you. And by fun, I mean pleasure, recreation, joy. And you know what you would include in this? Very much self care. Anything that makes you feel good. Sweet. I've seen eudaimonia save marriages, marriages that were on the rocks. But the both members of the of the couple loved fun and found a way back through fun. That's eudaimonia. How much do you organize your life around? Eudaimonia is where you are on this scale from 0 to 7. Where are you? Isn't this whole process very freeing, by the way? Even just talking about values and I could recite these in my sleep, just talking about them makes me feel so excited to share with you. This language, it's absolutely game changing. Okay, that's my personal opinion. All right, let's move on. Okay, now we're coming to a deep and heavy one. And that's cosmos and that reflects faith or God as your organizing principle. If everything that you do and every decision you make goes through a screen of what your faith tradition would ask you or suggest that you do, then cosmos is a number one value. Okay? You would hope, for instance, that your imam or your pastor or your priest would have cosmos as his or her number one value. This is God or a faith system as the guardrails and the guidebook of your life. It's very interesting when somebody has cosmos as their top value. Very often almost all the other values don't really matter because everything is decided by cosmos. And, you know, I'll tell you something, I almost left this value out of the Welch Bristol Values Inventory because it felt very politicized to me and it felt. It felt almost like the bridge too far in terms of personal. Then we had a lot of. And in almost every single focus group there was a faithful person, because these were very diverse focus groups. And every single time that faithful person would say to me, wait, where's God? And it didn't make any difference. They could be Jewish, Catholic, Christian, Muslim. It didn't make any. There was always somebody who said, where is God? Because God is my number one value. And I myself, as I've said on this podcast many times, I myself am a very faithful person and I have cosmos very, very high. And still I wanted to leave it off because I was so afraid of being canceled by somebody saying, what are you talking about faith for? But you know what? Know what? Faith is a value, okay? Because we have to. We can choose whether or not we want to be faithful. We can choose whether we want to believe in God and live by the God of our own faith. And so where are you on this? For some people, it's zero. Other people, it's seven. Very rare to sort of see people sort of in the center on this. But where are you? Voice is the next value. It's creative self expression. It's how much you have to show the world who you are. It's almost authenticity in a way. Like, how much do you want to let your freak flag fly? Like, how much do you want to conform? That's low voice. I want to fit in. People don't need to know what I'm thinking. I don't have to express myself all over the place. All the way to top seven, where everything about you is an expression of yourself. Your nails, your hair, your tattoos, your poetry, your painting. I mean, almost by definition, artists are off the chart on Voice. This is about how much you want. Again, it's a value. So it's a want. How much you want your authentic self expressed to the world. And you know, this really drives a lot of things, right? It drives what kind of job you get, what kind of social group you have, what kind of work you can should do. It's really where you go on your vacations. I mean, who you marry. You usually see people with high voice married to each other and low voice married to each other. It's such a strong and important value. I have a daughter who's an artist. Her voice is extremely high and she's never fit into anything and she's never wanted to. And she is such an individual. And when I don't know where she is, you know, I call her and she doesn't answer for two hours. I think to myself, oh, she's getting another tattoo. And she says this is part of her self expression of showing the world who she is. It doesn't have to come out that way. It can come out in your poetry, it can come out in your singing, but it, it comes out. If voice is a high value, you know it because you're always showing it. Belonging. Belonging. This is the value of friendship. This is how much your friends matter as an organizing principle of your life. This is about community. And maybe it's not just friends, but it's about, you know, if you love signing up for like the company's softball team, if you're a member of ypo, the Young Presidents organization, if one of your happiest memories of childhood was being an eagle scout, this suggests you've got very high belonging. I, you know, if you go back to high school reunions year after year, belonging. Okay, if you, if you go to church, but the reason you're going is because you really like your Bible study, because you love the women in it. That's belonging. All right? Belonging is about wanting to be a part of a group where you are really close to each other and you feel embraced. And, you know, the opposite of this is people are kind of individual contributors, let's put it that way. Or they don't need a lot of friends or they don't really want to be part of groups. If you're down at a zero on belonging, you like your own company and you're suspicious of groups and you never really like, like the sorority scene was a very, very negative thing to you. You. Okay, but the first thing you did when you got to college was try to get join a sorority or fraternity. Belonging is probably pretty high on your list. Okay, so where are you on the belonging scale? We end with one that is so incredibly important. And I Want to tell you something. I lose my freaking mind when people do not get clear on this value. And it is the value of place, because it drives everything else. And by place, this value, it means there's a specific place. Place you want to live, okay? Because I have gone through this whole process with people, and we've come up with their magnificent purpose. And then at the end of it, they say, okay, my purpose is to be a scout for the NBA or whatever. And then they tell me that, oh, by the way, there's this other value they have to live, like, in Dubuque, okay? But there's no teams in Dubuque. And I was like, why didn't we start with that place? Either you want to live someplace very specific, like. And it could be a city. For me, it's New York City. My place is off the charts. I'm a New Yorker. I'll never leave New York. I love New York. I don't even like being out of my neighborhood in New York, to tell you the truth. Then there's people who can live, live or work anywhere. They're sort of. They're nomads. And they could live a million places, and they would. In places sort of inconsequential to them. And again, I want to repeat, neither good nor bad, just you. But place is a huge value. Everything could be driven by place, okay? If you're a person for whom place is really high and you got to live in Jersey with your family, everything's going to fall out of that, right? Where you work, who your friends are, how you spend your time, what kind of legacy you leave. If you're just saying, I can't leave this neighborhood in Jersey, God bless you. How much is living in one place, settling in one place, owning one place in your soul, important to you? That's a seven. Again, I hold myself up as the example. I think the only one like me in New York is Fran Leibowitz, who's like, you know, made a fantastic sort of career out of just talking about how great New York is. There's a great video clip I showed in class where they ask her about, you know, why should people live in New York? And she said, what's not here? And I was like, preach, sister. Okay? And then there's people who can go anywhere, and there's zero on place. So what are you on place? Where are you on place? That is a value. I think this. This language, these words are the answer for anybody who is seeking to understand themselves better and figure out what they want to do with their wild and precious life. Frankly, I don't even know how you get there without knowing your values. Your values have to be real. They have to be specific. They can't be amorphous. Family and financial security, so much more powerful, so much more actionable. When you say, yeah, my values are non sibi, they're family centrism and their cosmos, or whatever yours are that just chose those randomly. It empowers you. It empowers you when you have these words to make progress towards figuring out your purpose. Purpose and then living it. Which is exquisite. Which is exquisite in how alive it makes you feel. And that's why we need to know this language, so that we can speak to ourselves and each other like any other language. It makes communication possible. Even better than that, it allows you to have conversations with those around you, people you love, people you work with, your family, about who you are and who you want to be. Why don't you tell me about your values? I've just told you about all these values. I would love to hear from you. DM me on Instagram. Find me on LinkedIn. Let me hear about your values. Let's enter the becoming you community together. Keep this conversation going and make sure that we just are all speaking to each other about values in a way that just expands our understanding. Look, we make this podcast because we believe that it is a show that makes you feel comforted because you hear what you need to hear. And this is a show that sometimes makes you sweat again because you hear what you really need to hear. Now, look, I want to tell you something super exciting, okay? It's super exciting to me. I really hope it's exciting to you. And that is that we have a digital tool that we are working on. It will be on my website when we're done with it. And actually, even if we go through this process today and you're not sure where you are in each one of these values, you will soon know. So stay with us and you will find out all sorts of stuff about that test. It's coming at you. Because we're not just a podcast. We're a full service purpose provider. And we really want you to enter this content the way we have. That is it for our episode today. Thank you for being here. Hey, I love hearing from you. I. I don't like it. I love it. So please write to me and connect with me on Instagram or LinkedIn. You know, I don't make this podcast by myself alone in a closet with a microphone. Don't you Becoming you is produced by Jesse Baker and Eric Newsom of Magnificent Noise. Our production staff includes the Amazing Gold, Arthur Muskan Nagpal, and Kristen Muller, with help from the Becoming Universe members, Aliza Zinn, Hallie Reiner, Maddie Paul, and Tanya. Josi could not do it without these people. Trust me. I'm your host, Susie Welch, and this is Becoming you.