← Becoming You with Suzy Welch
Becoming You with Suzy Welch
Your New Year Resolutions Have Never Worked. There’s a Way To Fix That. Guaranteed.
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The days is fine, we wandered many. There it is, my friends. That's the one non sad version of Old Lang Syne, which nobody really plays at New Year's anymore, Right? Like sad version or not sad version, who plays that song? It's actually a terrible song. What is it even mean? I mean, you all know I'm not a big party person, but the last New Year's party that I went to, when the clock struck midnight and they actually played Pitbull. Then again, maybe that was just me alone in my house and I had been playing Pitbull all day. Anyway, Hi, it's Susie Welch, and this is the Becoming youg podcast. The highly intellectual, as you can tell, deeply philosophical, always very serious. Look at the question, what should I do with my life? Becoming youg is a methodology designed to help you live on purpose or help others live on purpose. We are for the purpose seekers and the purpose practitioners. And today our topic, for timing obvious reasons, is. Drumroll, please, New Year's resolutions. And better yet, it's actually we're talking about how to keep them, because I know and you know and everyone knows. We never do. We never do. But I have a fix for that. I really do. And if you stick with me here on the pod for the next, oh, 20, 30 minutes, I'm going to explain it. Plus two other things. First, seriously, at the end of the pod, I'm going to explain my thing with Pitbull. I mean, by the way, if you're new, I have a thing with Pitbull. And by thing, I mean my massive crush on him. Which is sad, but it has its reasons. Okay, so stand by for those, but mainly on the pod. This week, we're going to take a deep dive into some really interesting data we have at Becoming youg Labs about. Well, about that ache. That ache almost every person has in their chest about not living an A life graded by themselves. That's where our New Year's resolutions come from, right? We go around saying we're fine, but we're not quite fine. And then on December 31, we make a list of all the ways we're going to get closer to fine. To quote that great Indigo Girls song, that ache is universal. We call it the authenticity gap at Becoming youg Labs. And I feel it, and you do too. And I think it's the wellspring of our New Year's resolutions that never get kept. I have to be honest here. New Year's resolutions are actually kind of a painful, ouchy topic for me and probably my Whole family. Because for years, for like 15 years, we had a family tradition around them that nobody liked but Jack. And it went like this. Every New Year's, Jack would ask the kids, require the kids to come up with five New Year's resolutions about things they were going to do in the next year that would make them better and more successful. And he was just this optimistic, sunny person. And he thought this was like, the right thing. He thought this was like the right way to parent kids because it would have really worked with him. And the kids would like, dutifully write down New Year's resolutions that they hoped that Jack would approve of. And look, I was a complete willing partner to him because he was so on fire with this idea. He thought, okay, I didn't do this with my kids from my first marriage, but I'm definitely gonna do it with Susie's kids. This is the right way. You're really in the weeds with the kids. And so after the first year of doing this, every New Year's evening, we would read out their New Year's resolutions from the year before. Cause he would write them down and we would talk about whether or not the kids had achieved them. And then they would announce their New Year's resolutions for the next year. And it was really. I mean, the kids all went along. I went along with it. But I want to tell you, the only person who was really, really loving it was Jack. And so the kids would each New Year's with Jack and I listening on with shining faces, loving them, but pressuring them to be real. And I look back at it and I'm so ag. It's so agonizing. I mean, the kids wanted to please us. God knows what their true New Year's resolutions were. And then of course, the, you know, Jack would say, susie, what are your New Year's resolutions? And in those days, honestly, my desires for what I wanted my life to were so big and so impossible to achieve. For instance, I really, in those years, really missed working. And I could not work because of our life situation. And I just didn't even say them out loud. And so I would like, actually make up phony, small New Year's resolutions. Like, I want to do a chin up and you know, I'm going to run eight miles every day. And I would come up with these and everybody would cheer. And then we would write down what they were. And this would go on with a lot of phony smiles and cheering and encouraging of people. And I mean, I just was not in the moment enough to understand what was going on, as I do now. But the worst part about it was that at the end, Jack would do his grand New Year's resolution. And in the sort of last six years that we did this, his New Year's resolution always was, next year, I'm going to beat this thing. Because he was sick. And it was really so hard because as a family, we had also just gone through this very phony parade. But the phoniest part was us sitting there acknowledging and telling him, that's right, Jack, this year you're going to beat this thing. When we all knew that his. There was no beating his illness, and it was just. But he fought. He fought like you could. And we all said, yes, that's what's going to happen. And then each year, he would be sicker and sicker. And so in the last years of his life, we stopped this because I think, if I had to guess, it was because he knew he couldn't say that anymore. So I have, like, a lot of, like, emotional baggage that goes with talking about New Year's resolutions. And maybe you do, too, but we're going to try to make that go away in the pod today. Now, I have to believe that for most people, new is not as traumatic as I just described, mainly because we all know the nonsense of it. But I'll tell you something. The other day, I mean, I was getting my hair done, and I asked my fabulous hairdresser, Paul Podlucky, what his New Year's resolution was. Because I knew I was making this podcast, and he started to talk about it, and then I said, no, no, Paul, let me record it. So here's a tape recording of Paul saying that his New Year's resolution is, is that he's going to stop buying beautiful things. Paul, what's your New Year's resolution for New Year's resolution this year? I would like to stop buying clothes obsessively. Like, why? What's the reason? I just. I don't need any more stuff and I don't need any more clothes. It's crazy making. Have you ever had this resolution before? No. No, this is the first year. Yeah. Okay. All right, I'll check in with you in 2027, see if we get it. All right, so I'm stopping it there. The conversation devolved into Paul saying, actually admitting it was never going to happen. And he knew it. And frankly, on the way out the door from the appointment, we were talking about a pair of really gorgeous beige boots that he was going to buy, like, later. That day online. So what is going on with the New Year's resolution conundrum now? To explain that and where I'm coming from on that, we have to back up a little bit, and then we will rush forward. Let's just talk about the becoming you methodology, which is the methodology that helps you live your purpose. It helps you figure out what you should do with your life. And its premise is that your purpose lies at the intersection of your authentically held values, your most defining aptitudes, both intellectual and emotional, and your areas of interest or economically viable interest. And so this methodology is taught around the world and used by, I think, we think, about 150,000 people at this point. And as part of the becoming you methodology, there's a tool called the Values Bridge. And the Values Bridge rank orders your values from 1 to 16. A lot of people have taken it, and maybe if you're listening to this podcast, you have taken it. If you have taken it, you know that the values Bridge measures two things. It measures your values from 1 to 16, as I said, but it also measures how much you're living them. I mean, it gives you a number that calculates the distance between how much you want to live that value and how much you actually are living that value. So, for instance, say you have a very high value of family centrism, how much you want to organize your life around your family. And you may get a zero authenticity gap, which means you're doing it exactly in the amount that you want to be doing it. Or you could get a 99% authenticity gap, which I've seen, which means your desire to organize your life around your family is not being fulfilled at all. And it's kind of. We don't say this very often. It's kind of like a little happiness score. Except for that the lower the the better, because the closer we are to living our values, typically the more fulfilled and satisfied we are. So just to give you another example, in those years when Jack was living my work centrism, which is one of my most defining values, I love work. I love work day and night. I'm just a person who defines their life by work. My work centrism authenticity gap is around 98%. Because I wanted to work. I loved work, but I wasn't working. And I want you to know something. I. In no uncertain terms, I would make the exact same decision today. My husband was dying. I wanted to stay home with him. But it's still. I'm a human, and it still gave me sadness. I missed Working. And Paul, my hairdresser that I just mentioned, he has a very high value of beholderism, which is the value that we have. That's about the desire to be surrounded by beautiful things. It's typically called aesthetics. His authenticity gap is zero because he buys beautiful things constantly. But if he was to stick to his resolution to stop buying beautiful things, he would be denying his beholders in value. And he. We probably have an authenticity gap of like 90%. So keep shopping, Paul, is what I'm saying. But an authenticity gap is in general, a terrible thing to have, and it does cause us a lot of pain because we yearn to live in alignment with our values, and yet we yearn it. But the world is soaking in authenticity gaps. I mean, I am absolutely convinced that they are the source of our New Year's resolutions. A lot of the time, it's us trying to close those gaps, okay? And not having the words for it, not understanding them that way. But that is actually what's going on. We look at the end of the year and we say, I've got this gap. We don't really think it that way, and I'm going to close it with my New Year's resolution. So let's talk about some of the data we have. Let's just think about this, the values bridge, which has been taken by about 115,000 people at this point. It measures on aggregate, everybody's authenticity gaps on every single value. And so we've done this calculation where you take all people, all genders, like, we are not cutting the data in any specific way. You just take all people across all values and you take a look and you average it out. What is the average authenticity gap that your average person is walking around with? How far are people from living their values in general? And that number is 27%. All right, 27%. You would kind of want that to be 2%, right? That you were living really close. But that's not how humanity goes. 27%. Now, listen, that number, it differs from person to person and value to value, of course. But for a few minutes, I want to unpack some of the big sources of that authenticity gap. Ache with a few key values that a lot of people hold. And what I would love you to do is see if what I'm saying sounds and feels like you. All right, so let's unpack some of the big authenticity gaps around some of the major values. All right, let's start with the biggie. And this is the value, the single value that we study that has the most authenticity gap, the most unhappiness around it in terms of how much people are living it. And that is the value of radius. Radius is the value that reflects the desire, the motivation to change the world with your life. It's not a top value for everybody. In fact, it's only a top value for 33% of the population. But here's the thing. If radius, this desire to change the world with your life, with your job, with your time, with the days you are given, if it is a top value for you, on average, your authenticity gap is 65%. That is the absolute highest authenticity gap. Now, I understand this, actually, because it's so hard to change the world. Who could possibly be walking around saying, yes, this value is being met? I mean, it's a top value for me. I have a big cause. I've talked about it on this podcast before. My entire life, I've been involved in the animal protection movement. I would like the world to change for animals. I will never feel like I'm living this value fully. Even though we've made enormous progress. For instance, animal cruelty cases with the dogs being used in pharmaceutical testing, we've made great progress. But I'll never feel like I'm living this value. Like, yeah, we changed the world. Nobody wants to change the world ever feels like they have. So I'm not surprised that it's 65%, in a way, because it's such a hard value to live into, but it definitely can be a gigantic ache. I actually have a story about somebody who changed their whole life to close this gap. And it's very personal to me because it's my daughter, Eve, my youngest daughter, Eve. Eve was in the animal rights movement. She worked at a place called Mercy for Animals, which puts all of its attention on the plight of farmed animals. And she worked in it for several years. She majored in animal studies and got her master's in animal studies. And then she went to work at Mercy for Animals. And after four years of that work, it's very, very draining. You every single day are face to face with cases of animal cruelty. She decided to take a step back. Not unusual at all with people who work in this space. And she was an incredibly good ceramicist as a hobby. And she said, you know, I think I'm just going to. I'm going to become an artist, mom. I'm called to become an artist. And she put herself. She threw herself into being a ceramicist, like my own mother is one. And that's just a Fancy word for potter, by the way. I think she herself calls herself a potter. And she became a potter, and she got very, very good at it. She had a natural aptitude for it, and she built a business, and she actually ended up making more money in this world of being an artist, a functional artist, than as she did working at Mercy for Animals. And. And she sold her wares, and everyone agreed it was beautiful. And her Instagram presence got very big. And people used to stop me in the street and tell me, oh, I just bought five mugs that your daughter made. She's so talented. And I agree. She was so talented. Then I noticed one summer that Eve had started volunteering very actively in the animal space again. And I thought, oh, isn't that interesting? She's back at it. I get it. I had been observing her from afar, and she started to do that more and more. And then one day I was up in the pottery studio, and she said, can you sit down? Because you're going to be so happy with what I'm about to say that I just. You're going to explode. So I need you sitting down for when that happens. And I was like, okay. And she said, mom, I've had a real period of self reflection for about a year, and I've really been struggling with this. And the truth is, I make beautiful pottery for rich ladies, and it's not enough. Now, she didn't say these words because we didn't have the values bridge then. What she could have said was, my top value was radius. Because I can tell you, several years later, when she took the values bridge, her number one value was radius. All right? That's why she was in the animal movement. So she basically said, I love the women that I make pottery for. I love teaching them. It's not enough. There's a burning hole inside of me to do something that's going to fix this world, and pottery's not fixing it. And so, Mom, I have been exploring the world of art therapy, where I could take my art and I could bring it into therapeutic spaces in old age homes with people who are struggling with brain injury, with. There's so many different places the world is hurting, and I could take my art and apply it to those who are in pain, and I think this would bring these. These two parts of me together. I was already welling up with incredible feelings of admiration for her. But then she said, I've done some research. I really want you to hold it together now, mom, because here's the news. The greatest art therapy program in the world is at nyu. So I'm going to apply to NYU and move back to New York. Just to make a very long story at this point short, she did go to NYU and get her degree in art therapy. She actually now does art therapy at Bellevue, which is New York City's very famous psychiatric hospital. And she does art therapy with people who are in severe crisis in people who have e attempted suicide or have suicidal ideation. And she's doing exactly what she set out to do to close her authenticity gap around Radius. To me, she's absolutely the textbook example of it. I'm so proud it's my daughter. I think there's thousands, tens of thousands, millions of cases of people who have said, I've got this gap with radius. Is it you? I mean, you may not have radius in your top five, but if you have a New Year's resolution, that sounds something like next year I'm going to go back to school so I can help people more or something like I'm going to volunteer more on the weekends or whatever. If you've got a resolution, a New Year's resolution that's around something about changing the world or making the world a better place, this is maybe you struggling, trying, attempting to just close that gap around this, this value that carries a very, very big gap with it. All right, let's move on to another value that has a very high authenticity gap associated with it. And it's a value that a lot of people have. It's the value of voice. 60% of people have it in their top five values. I mean, that's the majority of people. Voice is the desire, the motivation to have authentic self expression, to be yourself, to live authentically. 60% have that as a top five value. Apropos of nothing. It's not one of my top values, but almost every single person I know because it's very, very highly present, presenting in Gen Z and other young generations. So 60% have it. The average authenticity gap for people who have it as a top value is 31%. Okay, not 60% like radius, but still 31% is a pretty big gap. And I think that this is a, this is part of the human desire to be known, to be seen, to be heard, to be accepted for who you are, every part of you, your true authentic self. And it's pretty hard to walk, walk around in the world to be fully yourself. I mean, I think we can grow into it, but I can't tell you how often this happens to me. My students get back their Values bridge results. And they. Many of them have voice as their number one value because they're right in the demographic of Gen Z, where voice is often the number one value. And they get an authenticity gap that's like 99%. And class will be over. And it's typically a young woman who will come down or young woman, or a couple of them will come down to the. The front of the class and they'll look really stricken and they'll say, professor Welch, voice is my number one value. Look at my authenticity gap. And I say, yeah, yeah, I feel you. This is not an uncommon result for young women in your age group. And then what's very hard for me is they say, how do I fix it? How can I fix this? Can you teach a class on how to fix this? And I said, I wish I could. I'm not equipped. I'm not trained in that. But. But I'm so glad that you are seeing these numbers because it's a journey to close that gap. I think it happens with baby steps that we experiment with bringing our whole selves into conversations and into relationships where they're not being presented. And so we here at the Becoming youg Labs are actually doing work around how to close this gap. One member of our team is actually doing some real research on this right now. Because this is a gap that's so prevalent that I want to be able to answer people when they say, how do I close this gap? You know, I'm always amazed when there's somebody who has this gap completely closed. I'm right now in the middle of reading Patti Smith's memoir, Bread and Angels. She is the great punk rocker. She's been an idol of a mine my entire life. And of course, I'm not alone. She's just an amazing. If you're not familiar with her because you're not old like me, I highly recommend that you listen to Patti Smith and read her books. And she has written another memoir called Just Kids. And she's a total original. And her life story is phenomenal. And what's most phenomenal about is from when she was like three years old, her voice was fully expressed. And she. She made a lot of sacrifices for it. I mean, she was working in a factory in New Jersey. She came from a very family, very, very modest means. She was working in a factory. And she just. She just basically walked away from the factory. And she said it was the 1960s. She said, I'm going to New York to become an artist. And I mean, she lived in Unheeded, sixth floor walk ups. She was a absolutely fully committed artist and she lived without a lot to completely live her voice. And I think some of us bump into what it take fully live our voice and then we pull away from it. But that ache is still there. If you want to live through the experience of somebody who has fully lived their voice from the day they could start speaking, I highly recommend this, this memoir, Bread and Angels. So, you know, and look. So I think actually for me, many of the women who I just unbelievably admire, all women who are living their voice fully. Like I think about, like, yeah, I read Cher's memoir. I mean, I read a lot of memoirs. I mean, this is a woman who's just always totally herself. I think Dolly Parton's the same way. I think it's an act of courage to fully live your voice. And so if you've got an authenticity gap around voice, you're just being human. But I bet if you do have an authenticity gap around voice, one of your new year's resolutions might be reflecting it. You know, like start keeping a diary. Or it might be expressing yourself in art more, or it might be sort of speaking up at work more. Or it might be just finding different ways to truly show the world who you are so you can be seen for exactly who you are. So that's voice. Let's go to the third value that has a big authenticity gap. And no surprise, it's eudaimonia. That is the value of personal flourishing. It can encompass self care, recreation, leisure. Anything that makes us personally feel good falls under the value of eudaimonia. 62% of people have taken the values bridge, and that's very representative of the American population, have it as a core value. Sometimes I call it the fun value, but it's more than fun. It's really personal flourishing. You can, you can feel high eudaimonia, you know, skiing down a mountain or at a rave or knitting. But it's what makes you feel really good. I mean, so that's eudaimonia, oddly, number 15 out to 16 for me, but I'm really, really in the minority. Only 11 have eudaimonia as a low value. Like maybe outliers. Anyway, you're much more in the norm if you have eudaimonia as a high value. The average authenticity gap is 36%. I mean, higher than voice, 36%. So a lot of people feel as if they are not fully living their value of self care or fun or pleasure. You know, what I think this is absolutely a cultural phenomenon. I think if we'd had the values bridge 20 years ago, first of all, I don't believe Eudaimonia would be as high a value. I think this is something coming out of the pandemic and actually are uncertain times where people are saying, look, you know what? I can't plan the future. I can't plan on sort of postponing joy. I want my joy now. Who knows what's coming tomorrow? I really think there's a cultural phenomenon going on with this. And so, I mean, I was talking to a friend in Miami and she was explaining why she retired early to me. And she was like, you know, I was in the office one day and I looked around and I thought. And she literally said these words, I thought, susie, I could be jet skiing. And she quit her job and she got a totally different job. She now literally, like leaves work at three and she goes jet skiing. And she is living her. She closed the gap of her. I bet if she'd taken the values bridge beforehand on Eudaimonia, her gap would have been 70% because she was doing this sort of professional working thing. And now she has fun all day long. Now, there have been sacrifices. She took a huge pay cut. She actually had to move. She'd owned a place, she sold it, now she's renting. But she closed the gap. And I wonder what your New year's resolutions around Eudaimonia are. So many people have Eudaimonia as a top value. If you have a new Year's resolution, that's something like make more time for myself, get a massage once a week, put time aside for a date, you know, go to a becoming you intensive. I mean, that would be a highly eudaimonic resolution because it's about taking care of yourself and learning more about yourself. By the way, I highly recommend you do that no matter what your values are, because we have have such a good time. But I think that this. A lot of New Year's resolutions are tied to this. I will say when I look back to those. Those agonizing New Year's resolution evenings with when Jack was still living, all of the New Year's resolutions were to. To make the parents happy, were all about the last value I want to talk about, and that's achievement. So achievement is a value that is not held by very many people. In fact, on average from 1 to 16. And you blend everybody. Achievement is the number 11 value. Now, it's a little bit different for different generations, but if you average all the generations in, it's between 9 and 11. So look, it's not a top value for people. Again, I think this is a cultural phenomenon. People don't want to postpone joy. They'll take their achievement. And actually what's going on with achievement is that there's, people want less of it in their lives. I mean, there's a way for people to express on the test whether they want more of something and if they want less of something, it's a negative authenticity gap. And achievement has a negative 9% authenticity gap. So if you have a New Year's resolution that basically says, I want to work less, I want to care less what people are thinking about me, this might be you expressing that you would like less achievement in your, in your life. Now, you might be one of the percentage of people who have achievement as a, as a high value. But again, I have no, I have no judgment on whatever your values are. They are your values. You've earned them honestly. And if you're not hurting anybody, your values are yours to have. But I do think that when you're not fully living your values, I can say across the board, there's that ache I talked about. And that ache is the, is the authenticity gap between the value you have and how much you're living and how much you want to be living it. And I bet you that's where your news resolutions are coming from. And the only way to achieve them, the only way to achieve them is to understand where they're coming from, to link them to the value. Because you know what? You're going to run out of steam trying to close the gap. Closing the gap is really hard. But if you can say I'm closing this gap because I, I have a value, a true value, and it will feel very good for me to live more in alignment with my values. You will have, I think, more inner fire and inner fuel to actually live into and make those New Year's resolutions come true. Otherwise you'll just fall off because it's so hard to close gaps. Now, look, I've talked in generalizations a bit here. You have your own values profile and you have your own authenticity gap profile. And I don't know where your particular ache is coming from, if you have one, but I do bet it's where your New Year's resolutions are coming from. And I think if you want to make your New Year's resolutions actually happen, you have to acknowledge it's a values disconnect. And that might give you the conviction in fact, I am pretty sure it's going to give you the conviction to keep pushing forward when it gets hard. Because it will get hard. It is hard. To live our values. We have to fight for our values. Like, you know, there's that great Beastie Boy song. You've got to fight for your right to party. You have to fight for your right for Eudaimonia. But you have to fight for your right to live your values. You do. The world's set up not to let you. Now, you may be wondering what my resolutions are. Maybe, maybe you are. I'm wondering. And I do have them. I understand what my New Year's resolutions are and I understand exactly what values they're coming from. For instance, I have a very strong resolution that in 2026 I want to do my Halloween party again. So for years I had annual Halloween party. It was always a big blowout. And people loved to come because I pulled out all the stocks. I actually even had one during COVID and people came and it was kind of funny because everybody was in a costume and wearing a mask and it was, it was really fun. And you know what? It really fulfilled my value of very high value of scope. It's my fourth value. Scope being the value for like a lot of stimulation scope. People love parties. They love travel, they love reading, they love meeting new people. They're like stimulation junkies. And so I have high scope. And people with high scope have relatively limited need or desire for psychological safety. They. That also goes with the profile. If you're wondering if you have scope. High scope. And my Halloween party like was like. It was like fed the scope junkie. Every year the party got bigger and bigger. And every year I would give prizes for the best costume and the worst costume. So nobody wanted to win the worst costume. Everybody wanted to win the best costume. And it got more and more elaborate. In fact, the last year that we did it, somebody came dressed, Roseanne came dressed. And as my dog, Happy. It was one of the greatest costumes I've ever seen. It was an absolute precise imagine dressing up as my dog in a bold faced move to win. And she did win. And then a friend of mine was there as well and he dressed as a. As a pot, like, as like a kettle. And it just was an epic fail. And he won worst in it. Anyway, it was a really. It was a very good party and it met all my needs. And actually plenty of people's needs also were met by this party. Well, then the stakes were very, very high. Everybody wanted to Win the award then next year. And I decided to dress as Joan of Arc. And this was going to be the biggest blowout. It was the biggest Halloween party had ever thrown. And the day of the Halloween party, I mean, I had my Joan of Arc costume made, all right, and it was epic. And I had her sword, everything. It was great. And the day of the Halloween party, I started to feel a little bit icky in the morning. And around 10 o' clock in the morning, I was fully blown Covid and I was like Joan of Arc. I was down and out. And so we canceled the party. And I was very sad. I did go out in the street with a mask on and stand on the sidewalk. And as the kids walked by from a great distance, I shouted, do you know who I am? And one little girl said, joan of Arc. And then I had to go lay down. Anyway, the year after that, I started getting invited to Heidi Klum's Halloween party. Fancy that way. And I started going to that. And that fed my Scope monster even more. It was really fun. Went as Daenerys one year, and my friend went as Jon Snow the next year I went as Amy Winehouse, and he went as her disgusting boyfriend. But here's the thing. My New Year's resolution is I want to reclaim my inner scope and I want to have my Halloween party again. So please be rooting for me in 2026. I think I'm going to try the Joan of Arc costume again because it was never fully revealed to the world. So stand by for that. All right, we've gotten to the point where I'm going to talk to you about why I have a problem with Pitbull. I promised. You can turn it off right now if you don't want to know, but let me explain. We have our Miami shared Miami beginnings, and he was never taken seriously. Everybody thought he was a total goofball. Mr. 305. I always took him seriously. He was great for running. I mean, if you can't run to timber, something's wrong with you. But here's what I love about him. I love his optimism and his sincerity. I actually find these to be the two greatest traits a person can have. Optimism and sincerity. I think that this is why my family has always been very mystified by me and why I never really made it as a journalist because I am so optimistic and sincere. I don't know where these things come from in me. Possibly my faith, the source of them, is not what matters, but they are my favorite things because I am single handedly going to eliminate nihilism in my lifetime. I can't stand it it. And I think that actually optimism and sincerity is where Jack was coming from. When he asked the kids to do those New Year's resolutions, that was the source of it. He didn't want to make them feel anything but great. And optimism and sincerity was why at the end when he did his New Year's resolution, it was always I'm going to beat this thing. So I look for these two traits everywhere I go. So I found them in Pitbull and I want to make sure that they stay in me and maybe, maybe stay in you. I hope. And I'd stay in this world of ours. We really need them. So my God, I am so happy that you listened to this podcast about New Year's resolutions. If you want more becoming you stuff, let me tell you how to get it. Please subscribe to my newsletter. It's totally free. We have intensives where you can take becoming you if in three fast days in New York City I've got social media, please find me on Instagram and other places. I have a new book that's coming out in the new year. It's going to be about 10-10-10 decision making. But you know what? More than anything, just keep listening right here on the podcast Becoming you. I will see you next time. Happy New Year. For all last time my beautiful old take a cup of kindness. Yeah, for all last night.