Season 1: Before We Go

Summary

Before We Go – Season 1 Episode Summary: Shoshana Ungerleider’s Journey Through Mortality

Podcast Title: Before We Go
Host/Author: Podcast Nation
Episode: Season 1: Before We Go
Release Date: August 19, 2024

Introduction

In the inaugural episode of Before We Go, Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider opens up about her deeply personal journey confronting mortality following her father's terminal cancer diagnosis. This episode delves into themes of love, loss, family dynamics, and the quest for meaning in the face of life’s most profound challenges. Through candid storytelling and expert insights, Shoshana explores the intricate realities of facing death, both her own and her loved ones’.

Family Memories and Early Reflections

Shoshana begins by reminiscing about her childhood, highlighting the omnipresent presence of her father, Steven Ungerleider, who meticulously documented family moments on film.

Shoshana Ungerleider [00:03]: "From the time my sister and I were babies, our dad filmed almost everything we did."

These childhood tapes serve as a poignant backdrop, emphasizing the enduring impact of her father's presence even after his passing.

Confronting Mortality

The summer of 2022 marked a turning point for Shoshana and her sister, Arielle, when their father was diagnosed with terminal pancreatic cancer. Despite the encouraging news regarding a potential treatment targeting the BRCA genetic mutation, the diagnosis brought forth the harrowing reality of mortality.

Shoshana Ungerleider [01:26]: "In the summer of 2022, Arielle and I got some news that we'd been dreading our whole lives. It's the kind of news that almost everyone will eventually receive from someone they love."

As a physician and expert in death and dying, Shoshana found herself navigating the emotional complexities of her father's diagnosis, underscored by the genetic implications for herself and her sister.

Genetic Implications and Fear of the Unknown

The revelation that their father’s cancer was linked to a BRCA mutation introduced a layer of fear and uncertainty. Shoshana grapples with the possibility that she and Arielle might be at risk of developing life-threatening cancers themselves.

Shoshana Ungerleider [02:18]: "Well, no one in our family has breast cancer."

This stark realization forced Shoshana to confront her own vulnerability, despite her medical expertise and support system.

Founding EndWell: Redefining End-of-Life Care

Driven by her experiences and observations during her medical residency, Shoshana founded EndWell, a nonprofit organization aimed at reshaping societal perceptions and approaches to the end of life. Her mission focuses on integrating the concept of death into daily life, fostering conversations, and creating solutions to ease the process of dying for everyone involved.

Shoshana Ungerleider [00:26]: "We do some wild things to keep people alive, and it's not always what they want. So I started a nonprofit called EndWell, focused on making the end of life part of life to create new solutions to make dying a little less hard for everyone involved."

Through EndWell, Shoshana advocates for living in the present moment, acknowledging the finite nature of time, and addressing mortality proactively.

Living in the Present: Embracing Limited Time

A recurring theme in Shoshana’s narrative is the importance of living day-to-day with the awareness that time is limited. This philosophy underscores her approach to both personal life and her professional endeavors.

Shoshana Ungerleider [00:26]: "We're all terminal, right? Regardless of whether we have a diagnosis or not. And so, so much of what I'm always trying to think about is how can we live in the present moment? How can we operate day to day knowing that time is limited?"

This perspective encourages listeners to cherish each moment and confront fears surrounding death with courage and openness.

Sibling Dynamics and Support Systems

Shoshana highlights the role of her sister, Arielle, in this journey, describing her as "the younger, bossier sister," which underscores the dynamic between them as they navigate their father’s illness and their own health concerns together.

Shoshana Ungerleider [01:13]: "I'm Dr. Shoshana Ungerleider, and that's my younger, bossier sister, Arielle."

Their relationship serves as a cornerstone of mutual support, illustrating the importance of familial bonds during times of crisis.

Expert Insights and Community Support

Throughout the episode, Shoshana incorporates insights from renowned experts and professionals who have aided her in understanding and managing the complexities of death and dying. These collaborations enrich her narrative, providing diverse perspectives on coping mechanisms and societal attitudes towards mortality.

Conclusion: A Journey of Love, Loss, and Hope

Before We Go Season 1 Episode 1 offers a heartfelt exploration of Shoshana Ungerleider’s confrontation with her father’s terminal cancer diagnosis and its ripple effects on her and her sister’s lives. The episode underscores the universal challenge of facing mortality and emphasizes the importance of finding meaning and purpose amidst life’s uncertainties. Through her story, Shoshana invites listeners to reflect on their own mortality, fostering a dialogue about death that is often shrouded in discomfort.

Shoshana Ungerleider [02:26]: "This is the story of my father's cancer, the surprising diagnosis that threatened my own health, and the unexpected paths I took to find meaning and purpose in it all—a deeply personal journey exploring love, loss, fear and hope for anyone facing the beauty and bewilderment of our limited time."

Listeners are encouraged to join the conversation and engage with the community on Instagram @beforewegopodcast, further extending the dialogue beyond the episode.

Key Takeaways

• The impact of a terminal diagnosis on both the individual and their family.
• The psychological and emotional challenges of genetic predispositions to cancer.
• The importance of integrating end-of-life discussions into everyday life.
• Building support systems through family and community.
• Finding purpose and meaning when confronted with mortality.

Notable Quotes

• Shoshana Ungerleider [00:26]: "We're all terminal, right? Regardless of whether we have a diagnosis or not."
• Shoshana Ungerleider [01:26]: "It's the kind of news that almost everyone will eventually receive from someone they love."
• Shoshana Ungerleider [02:26]: "This is the story of my father's cancer... a deeply personal journey exploring love, loss, fear and hope."

Before We Go invites listeners to embrace vulnerability and engage in meaningful conversations about life and death, offering solace and understanding to those grappling with similar experiences.

Transcript

[A]

Hi, Shoshi. Hi, Shoshi.

[B]

From the time my sister and I were babies, our dad filmed almost everything we did.

[A]

You are my sunshine. My only sunshine.

[B]

I unearthed these tapes looking for memories of my father, but all I got were glimpses of the invisible voice behind the camera.

[A]

Very good, Shoj. What is this for?

[B]

My dad encouraged me to go to medical school. But during my residency, I noticed something that didn't sit well with me. We do some wild things to keep people alive, and it's not always what they want. So I started a nonprofit called EndWell, focused on making the end of life part of life to create new solutions to make dying a little less hard for everyone involved. We're all terminal, right? Regardless of whether we have a diagnosis or not. And so, so much of what I'm always trying to think about is how can we live in the present moment? How can we operate day to day knowing that time is limited?

[A]

Well, that is beautifully morbid.

[B]

I'm Dr. Shoshana Ungerleiter, and that's my younger, bossier sister, Arielle.

[A]

I don't necessarily prefer the word bossy, but I think maybe assertive was the word you were looking for.

[B]

In the summer of 2022, Arielle and I got some news that we'd been dreading our whole lives. It's the kind of news that almost everyone will eventually receive from someone they love. Our dad called me first. He said, shosh, there's a mass in my pancreas. The cancer was inoperable and would most certainly kill him. As a doctor, I have access to a lot of people who could help us navigate this diagnosis. But even with everything I knew about death and dying and all the support that we had, it was still so hard to confront my father's mortality. And then one of his doctors suggested something that I'd never considered. He said, have you ever been tested for the BRCA mutation? Brca? I knew what BRCA was. The mutation that's named after breast cancer.

[A]

Well, no one in our family has breast cancer.

[B]

And then I just remember all of.

[A]

A sudden starting to do, like the Rolodex of people in our family who had died, you know, young.

[B]

And the good news there is that he would be eligible for this new treatment. Then I'm like, well, wait. What is the bad news? I needed to get tested, and so did my sister. And that was really scary. This is the story of my father's cancer, the surprising diagnosis that threatened my own health, and the unexpected paths I took to find meaning and purpose in it all a deeply personal journey exploring love, loss, fear and hope for anyone facing the beauty and bewilderment of our limited time. Coming soon on Before We Go, Wherever you listen to podcasts.