We Read Marjorie Taylor Green's Book

Summary

Behind the Bastards – Episode: "We Read Marjorie Taylor Green's Book"

Release Date: December 3, 2024
Host/Author: Cool Zone Media and iHeartPodcasts
Podcast Title: Behind the Bastards
Episode Title: We Read Marjorie Taylor Green's Book

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1. Introduction and Episode Setup

Timestamp: 00:01 – 03:57

In this emergency bonus episode of Behind the Bastards, hosts Robert Evans and Jamie Loftus are joined by Sophie From Mars to tackle an unconventional topic: reading and critiquing Marjorie Taylor Greene's latest book. The episode kicks off with light-hearted banter about hunting, camo outfits, and an amusing anecdote involving Jamie being cornered by Pittsburgh's Hot Dog King, Rick Seback, who attempted to coerce her into a fictional murder confession (00:29 – 03:29). This sets a playful yet critical tone for the ensuing discussion.

2. Acquiring Marjorie Taylor Greene's Book

Timestamp: 03:57 – 06:30

Sophie From Mars reveals she possesses a signed copy of Marjorie Taylor Greene's book, obtained during a visit to the RNC where she attended a book signing event (06:10 – 06:30). The acquisition is described as both contentious and humorous, emphasizing the bizarre nature of obtaining such a signature.

3. Book Cover and Publisher Analysis

Timestamp: 06:31 – 12:10

The hosts scrutinize the book's cover, noting the silhouette image that doesn't quite resemble Marjorie Taylor Greene (06:10 – 06:14). They delve into the publishing details, uncovering that the book is published by “winningpublishing.com,” which raises skepticism about its legitimacy (11:21 – 12:10). Robert humorously speculates about the publisher's authenticity, suggesting it's likely a vanity press orchestrated to bolster Greene's political image.

4. Content Critique and Excerpts

Timestamp: 12:10 – 42:00

a. Education and Political Themes

Sophie reads a passage where Greene discusses education, prompting the hosts to critique her simplistic solutions and lack of coherent policy proposals (03:57 – 25:06). Notable quotes include Greene's emphasis on "school choice" and "defunding the Department of Education," which the hosts mock for their vagueness and ideological bias.

b. Impeachment and Policy Discussions

In Chapter 14, "Impeachment," Greene outlines her stance on impeaching President Joe Biden, framing it as a necessary measure to address alleged failures at the southern border (24:43 – 25:42). The hosts counter her arguments by highlighting the complexities of policy implementation and the flaws in her comparisons, such as linking the handling of the border crisis to plane crash regulations.

c. COVID Commentary

Chapter 16 delves into Greene's views on the COVID-19 pandemic. She likens the pandemic to a "box of chocolates," trivializing its impact and placing blame on individuals' health conditions (27:05 – 42:00). The hosts critique this analogy and her dismissive attitude toward public health measures, emphasizing the real-world consequences of such rhetoric.

d. January 6th Analysis

In the chapter titled "January 6th," Greene downplays the events of the Capitol breach, attributing responsibility to Nancy Pelosi's alleged failures (37:08 – 39:30). The hosts highlight the inaccuracies in her narrative, pointing out the selective recounting of events and her attempts to rewrite history to fit her political agenda.

5. Goodreads Reviews and Host Reactions

Timestamp: 31:00 – 35:59

The hosts explore critical reviews of Greene's book on Goodreads, reading a one-star review that accuses the book of having a "misleading title" and lacking substantive content (35:59 – 37:35). Sophie imitates Greene's tone to respond to the positive review, showcasing the disconnect between Greene's promotional efforts and the book's reception.

6. Overall Critique of the Book

Timestamp: 38:11 – 44:35

Throughout the episode, the hosts consistently criticize the book for its lack of depth, coherence, and evidence-based arguments. They mock the book's stylistic choices, such as its chapter titles and superficial treatment of complex issues (39:18 – 44:35). Robert sarcastically suggests replacing historical volumes with Greene's book to illustrate its lack of scholarly value.

7. Conclusion and Hosts' Reflection

Timestamp: 44:35 – End

Wrapping up the episode, the hosts reflect on the futility of reading such politically driven propaganda. They lament the proliferation of politicians' memoirs that serve more as promotional tools than informative literature (46:49 – 48:41). Jamie introduces her own book about hot dogs, humorously contrasting it with Greene's work, before the episode concludes with a reminder to subscribe and visit the podcast's platforms for more content.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jamie Loftus (03:20): "A lot of people just care about justice."

• Robert Evans (08:16): "Replace incorrect history books with her book."

• Sophie From Mars (14:58): "Her America first credentials are forged in steel and with fighters like her, we will make America great again. Jesus Christ."

• Jamie Loftus (37:08): "She glazes over everything. And she's like, okay, what can I do? Compliment the cops? That's like, that's her one."

• Robert Evans (40:32): "I don't think she read her own book."

Key Insights and Conclusions

• Propaganda Over Substance: The hosts argue that Marjorie Taylor Greene's book serves more as a political propaganda tool than a substantive policy discussion, lacking depth and coherent arguments.

• Superficial Policy Solutions: Greene's simplistic solutions to complex issues like education, immigration, and public health are criticized for their lack of practicality and evidence-based reasoning.

• Manipulative Rhetoric: The book's use of slogans, selective endorsements, and misleading chapter titles are highlighted as tactics to manipulate reader perception rather than inform.

• Ghostwriting Concerns: The hosts speculate that the book may have been largely ghostwritten, given its disjointed content and apparent lack of genuine authorship from Greene herself.

• Cultural Impact: There's an underlying commentary on the trend of politicians authoring books as a means of self-promotion, contributing to the dilution of meaningful literature in the political discourse.

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Behind the Bastards continues to dissect and critique influential yet controversial figures, offering listeners an unfiltered look into the machinations of those deemed "bastards" in history.

Transcript

[Sophie From Mars]

Call Zone Media.

[Robert Evans]

Oh. Welcome back to behind the Bastards, a podcast where we are recording a bonus kind of an emergency episode. Not for now, but for whenever we have an emergency. And to come in as our pinch hitter and really just get some shit recorded. Just some absolute garbage. Jamie Loftus. How are you doing?

[Jamie Loftus]

Thank you. Thank you. Yes. When you think I need some absolute garbage on wax today, I need some classic crash.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah, that's right.

[Jamie Loftus]

Like, who's definitely around, who can slop some shit onto the.

[Robert Evans]

We are. We're being sloppy today. I'm about to go out deer hunting, which should be obvious by my clothing. You're in a different kind of camo, Jamie.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, I mean, I'm probably gonna go to a bar and eat a hot dog after this.

[Robert Evans]

So this is another kind of camo.

[Jamie Loftus]

The camo of that. The camo of that.

[Robert Evans]

You are also planning to shoot something, but.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, I've never. I know you know this, but I've never shot anything.

[Robert Evans]

Okay, that's fair. That's fair. I mean, yeah, because it was an ax in Grand Rapids, right?

[Jamie Loftus]

It was. Okay, can I tell you something about Grand Rapids really quick? Well, two things.

[Robert Evans]

First, I forgot we're finally getting the confession, folks. This is a big day.

[Jamie Loftus]

I know. Innocent. I went on a podcast recently, and, like, the topic Grand Rapids kept coming up, and I literally. But they, like. I was almost certain. I was like, they wouldn't know if I made a weird comment about Grand Rapids. They would just be confused. But there was a pit in my stomach, like, I should say something.

[Robert Evans]

I have to say. I have to make a comment.

[Jamie Loftus]

I should say I'm innocent. The real thing was, I was in Pittsburgh over the summer because Pittsburgh rocks. Do you like Pittsburgh?

[Robert Evans]

I've never been, actually.

[Jamie Loftus]

I think you'd love it. It's really, really funny.

[Robert Evans]

I've heard only good things.

[Jamie Loftus]

It rocks. And I was talking to the hot dog king of Pittsburgh, and that seems.

[Robert Evans]

Like a town where there's competition for the title.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yes. I mean, he's like a generational hot dog king, and he's like the Mr. Rogers of Pittsburgh.

[Robert Evans]

I would say Pittsburgh and Detroit would be like, the hot dog cities that I would be most impressed if someone was the king of. Like, if somebody's like, I'm the hot dog king of Portland. I'm like, well, who gives a fuck?

[Jamie Loftus]

Well, there is one, though. There's a pitch. There's one in every town. But, yeah, no, Pittsburgh. It's this guy named Rick Seback who rocks. He makes, like, these really, really Cool. PBS documentaries. So he was on stage with me. We were doing a talk back. He's like, easily, I think, 40 years older than me maybe. And he, in conversation dropped in Grand Rapids, and I was like, that's weird. I kept talking and then he was like, do you have anything you want to tell me about Grand Rapids? Because he listens to the show, Robert.

[Robert Evans]

He listens. Our massive and unprecedented penetration of every demographic has finally come back to bite us in the ass.

[Jamie Loftus]

You got the Hot Dog King. You got the Hot Dog King of Pittsburgh. You're unfucking stoppable. Yeah. And then he tried to corner me into confessing into murder in front of a crowd full of people who allegedly liked me.

[Robert Evans]

A lot of people just care about justice, Jamie. A lot of people just care about justice.

[Jamie Loftus]

No, they just want to see a woman hung out to dry. Innocent.

[Robert Evans]

This has been a good bit. I was going to open us with a bit about pedophiles, but this is a lot more fun.

[Jamie Loftus]

I mean, yeah, we can, you know, we could always go back to back.

[Robert Evans]

But it's been kind of a pedophile. Dense year for behind the Bastards, Jamie. Okay, I didn't mean to, but we've really wound up hitting them a lot. Speaking of people who aren't pedophiles, in a way I can prove. Today we're gonna be reading Marjorie Taylor Greene's book.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, my God.

[Sophie From Mars]

There is an entire section about pedophiles in this book, FYI.

[Robert Evans]

I knew it would be relevant. It always somehow is. It always somehow is.

[Jamie Loftus]

Wait, so, Sophie, you have a signed copy of this book?

[Robert Evans]

She sure does. Why don't you tell them that story? Sophie, how did you get a signed fucking copy of Marjorie Taylor Green's book?

[Sophie From Mars]

I will say. Just to say, I don't know, listeners, if you don't listen to our other podcast, it could happen here. You don't know that Robert Garrison and I went to the rnc and it was weird.

[Jamie Loftus]

Not for work. Just as fans. Right.

[Sophie From Mars]

Just for the vibes.

[Robert Evans]

Just for the vibes.

[Sophie From Mars]

And on a day where I was trying to get us access to things after I had just been invited to by the Heritage foundation people to their social hour party that I got Robert into. Which was fun.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah, a lot of fun.

[Sophie From Mars]

Garrison and I walked down a little bit to where Marjorie Taylor Greene was doing a book signing for her new book, mtg. Yes, Jamie, it's called mtg.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay, so she's trying to. What is. What is she. Is she trying to do an RBG thing? Is she trying to rebrand as a rapper. Like, what's going on?

[Sophie From Mars]

I don't know. I mean, the COVID of the book. I'm gonna turn my. I am off camera today, YouTube watchers, because I had a bad time at the allergist. But I'm gonna turn my camera on for Jamie and Roberts, so you can see this cover of. Oh, I don't have my camera.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Sophie From Mars]

Hold on.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, my God.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah, great lighting, too. Really good lighting, Sophie.

[Sophie From Mars]

Yeah, the overhead lighting that I have up, really adding to the.

[Robert Evans]

That makes it look ethereal, like it's a pillar that landed in the middle of a bunch of apes in, like, 150,000 BC. Yeah, they're gonna start beating each other to death in order to get access to its wisdom.

[Sophie From Mars]

Just to say, Malcolm, you can put this part up where it's covering my face.

[Robert Evans]

Also, is the lady in silhouette on the front supposed to be Marjorie Taylor Greene? Because that does not look like Marjorie Taylor Greene.

[Jamie Loftus]

That's a body devil. I do.

[Sophie From Mars]

I do believe so.

[Robert Evans]

That is not quite a double, but yeah.

[Sophie From Mars]

Anyways, I tried to get her to answer a question about education, and her people took away my phone as I was doing it, so that. So. But I got this side copy of this book, which I thought, you know, I know a place where we could read that.

[Robert Evans]

Sure.

[Sophie From Mars]

Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

I'm trying to think of, like, what the most cursed signed copy I have against my will. I think that I have, like, a signed copy of a book that's like, one of the doctors that allegedly killed Anna Nicole Smith. For some reason, I have his book and sign.

[Sophie From Mars]

I mean, that's a choice.

[Jamie Loftus]

How did I end up with that?

[Robert Evans]

Nicole Smith. Yeah.

[Sophie From Mars]

At this point in the rnc, I was like, you know what? Fuck it. I'm gonna get this book. I know. Just, like, getting all the pamphlets for the Heritage Foundation. It's like, we can do stuff with that because people need to know what these people are saying because they are poisoning our world. Yes.

[Jamie Loftus]

We can do hard things. I can say that just by looking at the COVID I can tell that you have never opened that book.

[Sophie From Mars]

Just. I've opened it once to show a couple of our friends how cursed her signature is. Ooh, what do we got?

[Jamie Loftus]

We got.

[Sophie From Mars]

Yeah. I'll once again whip out the old camera covering my face.

[Jamie Loftus]

Any heart punctuation?

[Sophie From Mars]

No, it's just like, you can't even.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, my God. She made it out to you.

[Sophie From Mars]

Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

So funny.

[Robert Evans]

Of course. She's a classy lady. Oh, my God. Why wouldn't you think she would make it out to her Jesus? That's true. That's true.

[Jamie Loftus]

Reach for the stars.

[Sophie From Mars]

And it wasn't even worth it. Cause she gave me a really shit answer on education where she was like, aw, school choice. Defund the Department of Education. I haven't had original thought a day in my life.

[Jamie Loftus]

Replace incorrect history books with her book.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah, I think we should replace some of the history books with Martin Taylor Greene. But I think specifically we should go for Edward Gibbons. Rise and Fall. Yeah. Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. Just throw Marjorie Taylor Greene's book in for volume three of that shit. But scholars work it all out. Yeah. See who notices.

[Sophie From Mars]

But I. But the video. The video of me asking and then her people taking away my phone is quite funny. Anyways, this is a very cursed book. The back of it, instead of having, like, people who actually like her giving reviews, she just has what I'm guessing is her most notable enemies, where it's just the first review is. Isn't she amazing? Joe Biden in all caps. This woman should be on a watch list, not in Congress. Hillary Clinton. She must be expelled. AOC MTG is a cause for trauma and fear among members of Congress. Nancy Pelosi just keeps. And then for some reason she goes, the last one is Whoopi Goldberg. I'm like, I didn't know that Whoopi Goldberg was up in that clout level. But I guess.

[Jamie Loftus]

I guess she kind of operates as like. Like an elected politician would. I don't remember electing Whoopi Goldberg, but I'm fine with it.

[Sophie From Mars]

This woman gets to come and talk about talking over taking over the country, and she's not behind bars. How does that work? Whoopi Goldberg. Wow.

[Jamie Loftus]

That's such an approach to, like, pull quotes too. It's very megalopolis of her to do.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah, yeah, it's a real. That guy with the wine move. I forgot what's his name's name for a second there. I've still forgotten. What the fuck? I was just listening to a review of that movie. What is it? Jamie Francis, Give me a Coppola, damn it. Yes, of course.

[Jamie Loftus]

Sorry.

[Robert Evans]

I did want every living male actor today.

[Sophie From Mars]

And like, normally I'd start at the beginning of a book, but I just want to. One other interesting note is I've never seen this before, but her endnotes, instead of it being like, you know, like normal bibliography style endnotes, where it tells you the name of a thing, it's just like. And this is a print copy book. It's Just like hyperlinks to articles.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, like she's. Like she's writing a high school essay or something.

[Sophie From Mars]

It's like they're show notes, essentially. Yeah. There's just links to things, but it's. I wonder. Like, they're clickable, but it's like. But it's not like.

[Jamie Loftus]

Robert, do you think she wrote it?

[Robert Evans]

Oh, my God, that's. No, no, no. They never do. My guess is there's like 10 pages of that just based on the way things tend to work. She probably submitted an outline or she may have. My guess is she dictated an outline and a conversation with somebody the publisher sent. That person may have been a ghostwriter or may have handed that off to a ghostwriter and then she got to approve, probably again verbally. Like, she may have just had someone read it to her. Cause she's famous enough that they may have just had someone read it to her. And occasionally she would suggest changes. Or maybe she didn't read it at all and just approved it.

[Jamie Loftus]

That's my operating theory with the Melania book. I don't think anyone in the whole family knows what it says.

[Robert Evans]

I think you probably. It's probably a rare one of these where the author puts in more than about eight hours of actual work.

[Sophie From Mars]

Robert, while I get to the beginning here, I would like you to look up the publisher, which is winningpublishing.com tell me if you.

[Robert Evans]

Now that sounds like a real publisher.

[Sophie From Mars]

Give me any information that sounds like.

[Robert Evans]

It's not just a Peter Thiel cutout.

[Sophie From Mars]

Anyways, the book starts with a inscription from President Donald J. Trump, because of course it does.

[Jamie Loftus]

Well, I mean, keep it in the family. So it's owned by Donald.

[Robert Evans]

It's owned by Donald Trump Jr. And someone named Sergio. Sergio Gore, which is what I would.

[Jamie Loftus]

Name an Italian horror movie director.

[Robert Evans]

I would name a bad guy that in, like, one of the early Marvel movies.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah. Sebastian Stan.

[Robert Evans]

As I'm looking, he has 14, less than 15,000 publishers. Oh, that is not a Sergio. Look at that man's face. Jesus Christ. I found his Twitter and I'm sorry, he's. I'll pop my screen on here.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, my God, look at this. Look at this.

[Robert Evans]

Dude. You gotta have a chin to be Sergio.

[Sophie From Mars]

Screen really fast. I'd like to work on it.

[Robert Evans]

Look, we're not in the body shaming here thing, but some names are just clearly the wrong name for a person, and this is one of them. This is just not. This is not a proper Sergio. I'm sorry. Look at this. Look at that. You tell me that's a Sergio. Absolute. That's a guy who was born and raised in Germany, had to leave in late 1945 for some reason, moved to Argentina and started calling himself Sergio. That's the kind of Sergio that is unbelievable.

[Jamie Loftus]

He is clearly committed to the conservative school of Twitter. Pictures for men. Yeah. The sunglasses out the window at an unflatter. Like the Gen X selfie. It's just a fucking disaster.

[Sophie From Mars]

Selfie gang.

[Robert Evans]

If you were doing a movie about hidden Nazis, vampires living underground, you could like, this is a guy who. You could show that picture and then show a picture of the same guy in an SS uniform in 1943. And that would be like the big moment where like, oh my God, it's the same guy. He's identical. You realize they've been vampires the whole time. That's how this man looks. That's Sergio Gore.

[Jamie Loftus]

He's got his AirPods in.

[Robert Evans]

He sure does.

[Sophie From Mars]

Wow.

[Robert Evans]

Take him out for the picture, bro. What are you doing? What is wrong with you?

[Sophie From Mars]

Anyways, Marjorie Taylor Greene has been one of the most fierce warriors.

[Robert Evans]

Okay, sorry.

[Sophie From Mars]

Oh, no.

[Robert Evans]

I'm just looking at his posts.

[Sophie From Mars]

You read and I'll do you doom scroll. I'll read Marjorie Taylor. This is a quote from former President Donald Trump, which she does not include the former part in her book. Marjorie Taylor Greene has been one of the most fierce warriors in Congress for America first and it all and all it stands for. Despite the onslaught of attacks from the Marxist Democrats and the fascists in the media, Marjorie refuses to back down and never stops fighting. She stands with the all caps people, not the politicians. That's good on all caps. Her America first credentials are forged in steel and with fighters like her, we will make America great again. Jesus Christ.

[Jamie Loftus]

I just got really distracted by the Trump.

[Robert Evans]

I'm actually extremely angry by this because they've taken a quote from Galaxy Quest, which I would say is one of the chief accomplishments of our civilization is that movie.

[Jamie Loftus]

And of course he co opted it.

[Robert Evans]

And of course he co opted it. I'm livid.

[Jamie Loftus]

God. Never give up, never surrender.

[Sophie From Mars]

I don't know how to move on for that. But anyways, let's go.

[Robert Evans]

No, no, no. Let's just go right on. Because we've looked into Sergio Gore. That's good to know. I think we have an understanding of who he is as a man.

[Jamie Loftus]

Thank you, Sergio, for making this possible.

[Sophie From Mars]

So I'm in the table of choosing.

[Robert Evans]

To believe the song hey, Sergio by Street Light man, well, was originally Thomas Kalanaki. With catch 22, but you get it's been with a bunch of bands, but I'm choosing to believe it's about him. It's ours. It's poll. That song gets more relevant every year. Jamie.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's a good song.

[Sophie From Mars]

I just haven't.

[Robert Evans]

It's a perfect song. It's a puppy.

[Jamie Loftus]

It's just a wild pull.

[Robert Evans]

It's the apex of ska as an art form.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Robert Evans]

Thank you.

[Jamie Loftus]

You're welcome.

[Sophie From Mars]

There's 17 chapters. I'd like each of you to guess the closest you can to chapter titles.

[Robert Evans]

You know what I think we're going to do first, Sophie, is we're going to pull to ads real quick and then we'll come back and do that.

[Sophie From Mars]

Fair enough.

[Malcolm]

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[Robert Evans]

There's some dark stuff going on in.

[Malcolm]

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[Robert Evans]

We're back. Sophie, let's go through those chapters.

[Sophie From Mars]

No, no, I want you to take a. Take a guess. What's one of the. There's 17 things.

[Robert Evans]

One of them's gotta be about trans people, right?

[Sophie From Mars]

I mean, probably, but there's not a direct title. Oh, I'm gonna. I'm gonna guess. I'm gonna guess it's Protect Child's Innocence.

[Robert Evans]

Protects. Protect Child's Innocence. Yeah, that's probably the trans one. There's gotta. Gotta be one on the border. Protect Us from white genocide. I don't know what the fuck she'd title that.

[Jamie Loftus]

I tripped AOC in the lunchroom. And I'd do it again.

[Sophie From Mars]

That would be called no Green Deal.

[Jamie Loftus]

There we go. Okay.

[Robert Evans]

No Green Deal. There you go. Yeah.

[Sophie From Mars]

Anyways, the first section's called Blue Jeans and Big Dreams.

[Robert Evans]

My state. How about. Yeah. Wow. Blue Jeans and Big Dreams. Okay.

[Jamie Loftus]

Which kind of Lana Del Rey coded.

[Sophie From Mars]

I know.

[Robert Evans]

I thought that was a lot of the right is these days. A lot of, like, the lady, right? Yeah. Including Lana Del Rey was always pretty problematic, Jamie. That was what made her music fun.

[Jamie Loftus]

You don't gotta tell me. A fan of hers threw something at my head.

[Sophie From Mars]

Anyways, let's get started here. It starts with call me. No. Everyone has their favorite pair of blue jeans. We have our.

[Jamie Loftus]

I'm on board with you.

[Robert Evans]

I don't own a single pair of blue jeans.

[Sophie From Mars]

You haven't worn hard pants in, like. Fuck. Fuck if I know.

[Robert Evans]

That's not true. I got hard pants made with my suit that I wore.

[Sophie From Mars]

That is true. That is true.

[Robert Evans]

A couple of days. I wore that a couple of days at the DNC and the air.

[Jamie Loftus]

Sorry, could someone define hard pants for.

[Robert Evans]

Me for just really anything that needs a belt to stay up.

[Sophie From Mars]

Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, okay. Hard pants. I just hope you know that you two are the only people that have ever said that.

[Sophie From Mars]

We've had a lot of conversations about this because it's actually one of Robert's.

[Robert Evans]

Like, I. I wear exclusively pajamas.

[Sophie From Mars]

Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

He's like, yeah, I'm wearing pajamas right now.

[Sophie From Mars]

You know how you Know how I always say I work hard so my dog has a better life? Robert works hard so he doesn't have to wear hard pan.

[Robert Evans]

Mm.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay. Yeah, okay.

[Robert Evans]

It was a decision I made when some guy shot at me one time where I was like, I almost died in uncomfortable pants. I'm never doing that again.

[Sophie From Mars]

Anyways, everyone has their favorite pair of blue jeans. I'm not gonna get through most of.

[Jamie Loftus]

This book, but I'm with her.

[Sophie From Mars]

So far we have our preferred brands and go to styles. You can wear them to school, a date night, a game, a party, a dance, or to go to work. Whether you're changing the oil under a lifted truck on the job site.

[Robert Evans]

Oh, my God.

[Sophie From Mars]

Or going to the office.

[Robert Evans]

I hate this shit. You've never changed your own oil, Marjorie. Don't even lie.

[Jamie Loftus]

She's really painting a picture of her as, like a Julia Roberts character.

[Robert Evans]

It's such a. It's such a 20 years ago populism where it's like I wear my blue jeans to a fancy dinner. You know, fancy dinners. You can steakhouse in my town.

[Sophie From Mars]

You can even wear them to church.

[Robert Evans]

Man, the richest people in the world dress like shit now. It's fine.

[Sophie From Mars]

Some of us.

[Robert Evans]

Nobody's a dick about this anymore.

[Sophie From Mars]

Some of us slide them on while standing up, bouncing from one foot to the other. Others wiggle into them, lying on the bed, sucking in to zip up the zipper and button the waist.

[Robert Evans]

I don't know why we're paragraphing. You're not. You're not selling me on jeans. To be honest, that neither of those waist sound comfortable.

[Sophie From Mars]

Listen.

[Robert Evans]

And what's easy to put on is a fucking pair of pajama pants, Robert.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, Seems like these pants are a little too hard.

[Robert Evans]

Mine are made out of wool.

[Sophie From Mars]

Blue jeans are a staple for all Americans at all times. That's a terrible quote.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Robert Evans]

Especially because, I don't know, that's not the number one kind of pant that I see on, like, a job site. It's certainly not the number one kind of pant. Like, if you're, you know, working out in a farm. There's some places where blue jeans are the right thing to wear. But, like, it sucks ass if it's super wet to be wearing Robert while doing agricultural work.

[Sophie From Mars]

Robert.

[Robert Evans]

They're not great for Robert.

[Jamie Loftus]

Does she have anything to say about, like, the cut? Yeah, of course. Oh, okay. Oh, good. It keeps going. I was hoping to go.

[Sophie From Mars]

And no matter who you are, that favorite pair of jeans fits just right and feels so good once you have Them on you are unstoppable. That's what it feels like to be an American. Unstoppable. Or at least that's what it. Or at least not what it used to feel like to be American.

[Robert Evans]

Darling, you know what makes you feel unstoppable is taking your friend's Adderall. I was going to say the finest pills the gas station provides truckers. And then getting in a car and driving for 37 and a half hours, that makes you feel like a God by like the 24 hour point. If you just keep taking the pills, man, you see through time. You realize that it's just an illusion that like road trips, distance, all of this is fake. And you can literally just pick a point in space and time and pull yourself through it. That's how I do road.

[Sophie From Mars]

I'm telling you about blue jeans because decades ago, when big corporations took their manufacturing overseas, those iconic blue jeans we wear began arriving from nearly every country but America with their cheaper labor.

[Jamie Loftus]

Smooth transition.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah, whose fault is that, Marjorie?

[Jamie Loftus]

What smooth transition?

[Robert Evans]

She's already own blue jeans factories and offshored them. Who do they send their money to? Which political party with their.

[Jamie Loftus]

She said they look comfortable and she just described how hard they were to put on. Yeah, I'm stuck there. They suck. But that's what it feels like to be an American. It fucking sucks.

[Sophie From Mars]

With their cheaper labor costs, India, Mexico, China and others could make them for so much less. This meant corporations selling American labels discovered they could make more money buying denim manufactured overseas. This is boring.

[Jamie Loftus]

Mm.

[Sophie From Mars]

She's just talking about manufacturing.

[Robert Evans]

She's talking about jeans a lot. I think this is. I mean, the good news is nobody who likes her reads is going to read like this book is not. And none of these are generally made to be read.

[Sophie From Mars]

Right?

[Jamie Loftus]

They're made to be on a table.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah. And you sell it and you get like. Part of how you get bribed as a politician like her is you come out with your book that this vanity press then gets a bunch of different right wing organizations and think tanks to buy a shitload of copies of and you know, no one needs to read it for it to get on the bestseller list and you to make money. Right? Like that's. It's part of like how these people get paid.

[Sophie From Mars]

Pick a number between 2 and 17.

[Robert Evans]

14, 11.

[Sophie From Mars]

Well, I'm. I'll start with 14 and then we'll go back to 11. I was just having you pick chapter numbers.

[Robert Evans]

Oh, I should have guessed that.

[Sophie From Mars]

Oh, but 13 is so funny. Okay, we'll Come back to that, we won't know. Fourteen is impeachment now.

[Jamie Loftus]

Wow.

[Sophie From Mars]

Impeachment is a tool the founding fathers gave us to remove some in government. This is like Wikipedia about the beginning is.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, chatgpt about impeachment.

[Sophie From Mars]

She's talking about how she tried. She wants to impeach Joe Biden. Biden is aiding and abetting the Mexican criminal cartel drug runners. Imagine the uproar if 300 people died daily in plane crashes. We'd ground every airplane in America until we solved the problem. And along our southern border, the crisis is allowed to continue because of the left's liberal ideology.

[Robert Evans]

Did she say 300,000 people are dying every day?

[Sophie From Mars]

300.

[Robert Evans]

Oh, 300. Okay, okay. Well, I mean, here's the thing, Marjorie. The reason why 300 people don't die every day in plane crashes is because the airline industry is incredibly heavily regulated and has been regulated for decades with this kind of obsessive focus on stopping people from dying in crashes. And if the illegal drug supply was instead a legal and regulated drug supply with extremely high standards for what could get through and high standards for who and when it was sold and all this kind of stuff, then probably a lot less people would die. For one thing, if you're buying your drugs from a government store that has strict rules about what and how they can sell, you know you're not getting fucking any fentanyl in your shit, right? There's a bunch of ways to fix.

[Sophie From Mars]

This, especially the blue ones. Look at the sickening results of people hooked on fentanyl laced drugs. In addition to the deaths, the drug addicts hooked on these potent chemicals look like zombies. I see them whenever I go to New York, Washington, D.C. los Angeles, or any other Democrat run city. Thousands a day suffer the consequences of illegal drugs that flow over the border. Still, the media typically doesn't say a word because they share Biden's political views. You're so.

[Jamie Loftus]

I just, I can't. I'm still. I. Again, I'm just like, she keeps getting me stuck early in the, in the chapter where I just am like, why did she compare the like airlines to pharmaceuticals? Is there a sully of farm of drug dealers? Like, could we find him? I don't. That's. And the fact that there's only, you know, people who do drugs in democratic cities just simply.

[Robert Evans]

No, I mean, it's part of. It's like the when shit got where right? Like one of the reasons why we're having such an issue with fentanyl right now in Oregon is that Fentanyl, like, got here later than it got to a lot of the rest of the country. And, like, the fucking actual way in which the opiate epidemic spread had an impact on, like, how and when fentanyl hit different places. Like, these are. I mean, the idea that, like, the epidemic of deaths due to the illegal use of opioids is a liberal city phenomenon is, for one thing, kind of cutting party lines, all of Appalachia out of it. Which, like, boy, that's supposed to be something J.D. vance knows something about, but, yeah, I love that he's blaming his mom's drug addiction on fucking fentanyl being trafficked in when it's like your mom was stealing pills, like, as a nurse, right? Like she wasn't getting them from someone who smuggled them across the border.

[Sophie From Mars]

So true. Anyway, back to chapter 11, which is titled Right versus Wrong. Right versus Wrong. For the first time in a long time, with Donald J. Trump, we had a man running for office that stood for what we believed in, who spoke like a regular person, questionable, and who championed America first policies, policies that the Republican Party had not stood for in years. This is the kind of leadership we need if we're going to fight the climate alarmists trying to use fear as a way of making money and taking over our country. She's incredible at bringing an issue into, like, an intro paragraph without, like, it making any sense.

[Jamie Loftus]

It really does feel like it's just like a randomized. She's got just two wheels that she spins and she's like, okay, jeans manufacture, like, Mexico Airlines, Fentanyl, like, it's just completely Mad Libs.

[Sophie From Mars]

Let me task you. This section's called a Leg or a handout in the same Right versus Wrong chapter. Let me task you. Task you, not ask you which option does more for America. Government handouts are putting money back into our economy to fuel growth, produce more tax revenue, and employ more especially economically vulnerable people. Hard choice, right? I don't know. I'd take a handout.

[Jamie Loftus]

God.

[Sophie From Mars]

Okay, right about now, I feel like I should be given a handout for having to read this book.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah, I mean, you were handed the book, so.

[Sophie From Mars]

Yeah, and as I was handed the book, my phone was taken out of my hand. Still very unchill.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah, that is unchill. You should have just started hitting.

[Sophie From Mars]

Yeah. You know, I wanted us to get into that Heritage foundation party, so I was, like, trying to knock it because the booth was right across. And so. Yeah, because all they saw was a woman, a white woman with blonde hair and pigtails. And they were like, you're one of us. And then let me bring as many people as I could to their curse party, which is.

[Jamie Loftus]

Wow, it's weaponizing for good.

[Robert Evans]

Every night since the rnc, I've drank my Kratom in a Heritage foundation cup, of which I have six.

[Jamie Loftus]

Six.

[Robert Evans]

Uh huh. Oh, I stole a lot. Oh, Gar has a couple too. Like, I took a lot of those fucking things.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, when you were at my house.

[Sophie From Mars]

I didn't show you my R and C haul. I stole a lot of things.

[Robert Evans]

No.

[Sophie From Mars]

Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Why wasn't that just like, out? I don't know why that wasn't just out. And maybe even in the window. People.

[Robert Evans]

People might mistake her meaning.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, no, no. I would have loved to seen that out. I would have felt very safe. Okay, I'm looking at the MTG Goodreads page right now and it's brutal. It's brutal. I mean, yeah, Goodreads. Not a fan of hers for sure.

[Sophie From Mars]

Are there any nice reviews?

[Jamie Loftus]

There are five. I can read some five star reviews.

[Sophie From Mars]

Yeah, read one and I'll. And I'll respond. Doing my Marjorie Taylor Greene imitation that I got good at after the rnc.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay, here we go. MTG is one of the few America first patriots in Congress. If we had more Republicans like mtg, we could finally rid this country of these disgusting communists currently destroying it. If you are easily triggered, this book probably isn't for you. You should probably curl up in a safe space and read Liz Cheney's garbage. But if you want to read about what a real patriot is doing and what you can do to help take back this country, then pick this book up and learn something.

[Robert Evans]

Eric, man, look, okay, I just want.

[Sophie From Mars]

To say to Eric, first off, I just want to say to Eric, thank you. Thank you, Eric. Thank you.

[Robert Evans]

So obviously I'm not going to read Lynch Cheney's fucking. I didn't even know she had a goddamn book. But Marjorie, I gotta say, it sounds kind of desperate that you're like, comparing yourself to her to pump your book up. Like, shoot. I can't believe I'm saying this to you, but, like, be more ambitious, you know, like shoot a little bit higher than fucking Liz Cheney.

[Sophie From Mars]

Okay. In the chapter titled the mouthpiece of the Democrat Party, there's a subsection called Bright Spots. And that's a good one. I don't want to make it seem like everyone in the media is terrible. While Fox News overall hasn't been a positive experience for me, for the most part, I've enjoyed going on Tucker Carlson, who had me on Fox Nation and Tucker Carlson Tonight. While Fox has not wanted to do much with me, which I've never understood, Tucker and a few others have cared enough to get their information on me straight. Unfortunately, even though Tucker Carlson was number one, not just on Fox News, but out of everyone, Fox News fired him. We all know Tucker will be back probably by the time this book is out.

[Jamie Loftus]

Wow, what a weird.

[Sophie From Mars]

What a weird. She's just like, hey, by the way, I want to fuck Tucker Carlson.

[Jamie Loftus]

Like, he's an ally. He's an ally.

[Robert Evans]

You could find a more desperate way to write a book, but you would have to work hard. And you know who also works hard? Sophie?

[Sophie From Mars]

Jamie, Is it our sponsors? And I just want to say.

[Robert Evans]

It's our sponsors. I just want to say to fuck Tucker Carlson. That's their only goal. So help him out. You know how hard? Help everybody out. Yeah, really.

[Sophie From Mars]

And to truly and to our sponsors, thank you. I worked hard.

[Robert Evans]

That's what Tucker's going to be saying.

[Sophie From Mars]

Oh, God.

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[Jamie Loftus]

I feel like Tucker Carlson comes. Scabs.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah, dry scabs. We've talked about this. Dry scabs.

[Jamie Loftus]

Dry like a deck of cards.

[Robert Evans]

They make the sound. Jamie, if you've ever put like a couple of coins in a plastic cup and then shaken them around, that's the sound that his cum scabs. Because they're hard and they're heavy, there's a lot of copper in them.

[Jamie Loftus]

I'm thinking they're actually heavily metallic. Okay. Yeah, it Would hurt if one of his cum scabs hit your head. It could, really?

[Robert Evans]

Especially if he was doing it at the top of the Empire State Building. Those could hit people on the ground with terminal velocity. Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah. That would be brutal. I mean, this is good.

[Robert Evans]

The subreddit's been clamoring for Humscab's talk since we. Since Cody and I last talked about the come of different elected leaders.

[Jamie Loftus]

That's why I'm here.

[Robert Evans]

Thank you, Jamie.

[Jamie Loftus]

I have a one star Goodreads review of this book, which is just misleading title. Absolutely no mention of the Gathering, which is true.

[Robert Evans]

That's not bad. That's not bad. That's good. That's good.

[Sophie From Mars]

Okay, I think I know why. I think I know why Whoopi Goldberg was on the back. I found it.

[Robert Evans]

Oh, they've hated her for a while.

[Sophie From Mars]

Women on the View, of course, attacked me in their typical nasty fashion almost weekly. I find it funny that people come up to me and say the most hateful things are usually white women maybe 10 years older than I am, typically still wearing a mask and sometimes towing a neatly dressed husband behind them.

[Jamie Loftus]

Now, why are you bringing a neatly dressed husband into this? I don't know.

[Sophie From Mars]

You're like.

[Jamie Loftus]

She's like, unlike my husband, who looks like shit all the time. To make a point, she goes, they.

[Sophie From Mars]

Call me horrible names. And I'll ask. Always ask them. You watch the View, right? Sure enough, they pretty much all do.

[Jamie Loftus]

Well, we all have to go to the dentist at some point, so at some point, you're gonna end up watching the View.

[Sophie From Mars]

She makes it a point. I feel like she's, like, doing PR for herself here, where she's like, please have me on your show. She's like, podcasts and radio shows have been better. And I've been on Real America's Voice, Charlie Kirk, Alex Jones, Donald Trump Jr. OANN, Newsmax, and others. But I would appear on more news shows as well, and maybe one day I will.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, my God. She's pitching herself to be on podcasts. In the book.

[Sophie From Mars]

In the book.

[Robert Evans]

Wow. Wow, again, that's desperate. I thought things were going better for her than that because, like, oh, no.

[Jamie Loftus]

Robert, go write a book and get on Armchair Expert.

[Robert Evans]

No, If I write another book, Jamie, the only thing in the afterword is going to be, please do not invite me on a podcast.

[Jamie Loftus]

I think at some point you're just like, absolutely not. No, I want to co publish a pamphlet and be like, dax, listen.

[Robert Evans]

So you've been podcasted.

[Sophie From Mars]

All right.

[Jamie Loftus]

Good Lord.

[Sophie From Mars]

She has an entire chapter about called January 6th.

[Robert Evans]

Okay, great.

[Sophie From Mars]

She's mostly just talking about, like, her being a lucky.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Sophie From Mars]

It's not interesting. The House chamber was in complete and utter disarray. At one point, the crowd had begun banging on the door loudly, trying to push the door open. Finally, the military and police showed up, decked out, in full equipment and armed with rifles. Boy, were we glad to see them. We're very grateful to have help to get to a safe location. Is she not so. Okay. Okay. She's like, oh. She literally downplays what happened. And then is like. By the. And then we were saved. Everything's fine, right?

[Jamie Loftus]

She glazes over everything. And she's like, okay, what can I do? Compliment the cops? That's like, that's her one. Yeah, that's her. Her one.

[Sophie From Mars]

I later learned that the speaker of the House at the time, Nancy Pelosi, had failed to secure the Captain by not bringing in the National Guard in the weeks leading up to January 6, 2021. Even worse, she had her daughter, a filmmaker, there to capture the day's events. What a great coincidence. They just happened to be filming a documentary like that. That's, like, not what happened, but okay, yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah.

[Sophie From Mars]

Sure enough, only a few people breached the Capitol. While most walked. Walked in through open doors, making one of the biggest mistakes of their lives. She calls it a mistake.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, but because they got in trouble, not because they were doing the wrong thing. They probably shook her hand. How long is that chapter? I was like that. How?

[Sophie From Mars]

Like this.

[Robert Evans]

I'm surprised if any of them are more than about 500 words, right?

[Sophie From Mars]

No, the chapters are really short. The chapters are really short. The longest chapter is about the no greed, New Deal and about COVID bullshit.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay?

[Sophie From Mars]

She ends. She ends this chapter saying, this will not happen if I can prevent it. The events of January 6th have been mischaracterized by the Democrats and their mouthpiece in the media. A circus made of the proceedings and these people cruelly treated. It must stop. It will stop. For we won't rest until these people get equal justice under the law. They will not be forgotten. I will never forget. She just, like, changed her stance. By the end of this chapter, she was like, oh, it was a terrible day, but then we were saved from these people. Yes, but help these people, these good people.

[Robert Evans]

I don't think. I don't think she read her own book.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, maybe they just had two options of, like, choose this or this, and they just left both in her section.

[Sophie From Mars]

About COVID is really long and I frankly don't care.

[Robert Evans]

Well, I'm kind of curious. Is it real or is it made by China? I'm guessing it's made by China.

[Jamie Loftus]

Honestly, I'm mainly interested in what, like, misplaced metaphor? She opens the chapter with, oh, yeah, let me see. Covid is like a box of chocolates.

[Sophie From Mars]

I understand the immense heartbreak and devastation of the COVID pandemic on multiple levels. No one escaped the pandemic without a few scars. Most people lost loved ones and friends or know someone who did. Many who died were older adults with underlying conditions or people with risk factors like obesity. But a few were younger, healthy people. She's like. She's like, sorry, you guys died, but you were obese or old or young. And if you were young, you can't.

[Jamie Loftus]

Be old or young.

[Sophie From Mars]

Yeah, like, oh, it's gross.

[Jamie Loftus]

I mean, luckily, no one has ever read this book.

[Sophie From Mars]

This chapter is so long for no reason.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah, I mean, there's a reason for it, but I'm sure it's because the ghostwriter is personally angry about it.

[Jamie Loftus]

I've always wanted to ghost write a book. I think it would be fun.

[Robert Evans]

It's like ghostwriting.

[Sophie From Mars]

Just talking about Fauci here. I follow Dr. Fauci. I followed Dr. Fauci's advice. He gave privately in his personal email, not his public hypocritical advice. I didn't wear a mask. None of my kids wore masks. Oh, I always forget she's procreated.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah. Unfortunately, most people I know didn't wear.

[Sophie From Mars]

A mask unless it was forced in public or to fly on an airplane. We knew masks didn't work. We're filthy. Forced you to breathe in your carbon dioxide and decrease the amount of oxygen in your bloodstream. Many of us felt wearing a mask was like wearing a muzzle. She has so many things sourced, as in the section to check.

[Robert Evans]

She's just sourcing that people don't like to have things on their faces.

[Sophie From Mars]

Yeah, I just want to check.

[Jamie Loftus]

I just want to check in pictures from Mad Max.

[Sophie From Mars]

Like, I'm checking her end notes to see which hyperlinks she's referring to here, one of which is Newsweek with an article titled, fauci says masks not really effective. And the next one is from thehealthyamerican.org masks don't work. I'm sure thehealthyamerican.org is a very unhinged website.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah, yeah, it's. What's that title, Sophie?

[Sophie From Mars]

Thehealthyamerican.org who givesashit?

[Robert Evans]

I'm checking to see if it can give me any advice on what kind of bleach I need to be drinking though.

[Sophie From Mars]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Like, I was always curious, like, can you just like suck on one of the pens or will that not be entirely effective?

[Robert Evans]

Yeah, you know, I don't know. So, Jamie, I, you know, I was raised by a mix of like hippies and libertarians, so I've just been 50. 50 in bleach and apple cider vinegar.

[Jamie Loftus]

Oh, okay.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah.

[Jamie Loftus]

Well, if one doesn't work, I'm on the HealthyAmerican.com and it says this.org.

[Robert Evans]

It'S.Org. oh yeah, I tried.orgorg but it's. It is not working for me.

[Jamie Loftus]

I'm on hugedomains.com. this domain is for sale for $6100.

[Robert Evans]

Straight up. Not loading.

[Sophie From Mars]

I think healthy American.org. i'm looking masks, dash, don't dash. Work.

[Jamie Loftus]

Mask slash.

[Sophie From Mars]

Don't slash. Work. No, no, no apostrophe.

[Jamie Loftus]

Okay.

[Robert Evans]

No, no. It tries to take me to a landing page. That is nothing, I would imagine.

[Jamie Loftus]

How many do you think? Yeah, now I'm on fucking Godaddy.

[Robert Evans]

Don't do that. Don't be on Godaddy.

[Sophie From Mars]

So many of these are stockholders.

[Robert Evans]

I'll check the Wayback Machine. Yeah, we're pulling out all the stops. The Internet Archive's down right now because it got attacked by. I think it's Russians pretending to be pro Palestine activists. But Jesus Christ, it's hard to say. Why? Well, because the justification of the guy in the claiming to be the hacker in his telegram was like, well, America owns this. It's like, America? No, not in a way that implicates the military industrial complex and the Internet Archive. That is not an accurate statement.

[Jamie Loftus]

Yeah, that's really fucked my mind up.

[Robert Evans]

I think it's just. I think it's just a fake website. No, no, no, the Internet Archive is real. But yeah, I cannot find this thing on the Internet Archive on the Wayback Machine. So I don't know what the fuck is going on with this.

[Jamie Loftus]

I would be really curious if. Because I was really surprised when I was writing my book. How, like, if you want your book fact checked, you have to pay someone out of your own money to do it. Like they're not.

[Robert Evans]

Fact checking does not exist.

[Sophie From Mars]

I'm sorry, I pause. I just found out Liam Payne from One Direction just died.

[Robert Evans]

What?

[Sophie From Mars]

He fell down from a third floor of a hotel in Buenos Aires. What this has got. We've really derailed from what's happening.

[Robert Evans]

Let's just bring Today to a close.

[Sophie From Mars]

Yeah, we have to go figure out what happened.

[Robert Evans]

There's a problem going on where I am too.

[Sophie From Mars]

Liam Payne, don't read this book. Don't buy this book. Obviously.

[Robert Evans]

I don't think it's. We'll be revisiting this one, but you all got 45 minutes or so of entertainment and what more can you really hope for? Is there more to life? Not as far as we here, whose jobs are reliant upon being able to entertain you in a 45 minute podcast.

[Sophie From Mars]

And per the end of this book, Marjorie Taylor Greene makes clear yet again that she cannot be trusted. Liz Cheney.

[Robert Evans]

Really? Attacking the core demo of people who think Liz Cheney is a writer. I don't know. I don't know why she keeps doing this. I was unaware that Liz had written a book.

[Jamie Loftus]

This is really just. Yeah, this is how the last 45 minutes is how I learned any of these books ever existed.

[Robert Evans]

Yeah. Very few things have been worse for the written word than the idea that every single politician in public life has to have a book. And they're increasingly coalescing with the grindset, influencer, business management sort of guru books. Like there are whole people who read because they have to like performatively like a book every week or something. But every book they read is either like the 45 minute body or fucking Marjorie Taylor Greene's book or Peter Thiel's management advice or some shit.

[Jamie Loftus]

How do I get the 45 minute body?

[Robert Evans]

Well, you take the four hour body, Jamie.

[Jamie Loftus]

Uh huh.

[Robert Evans]

And you just fucking compact that shit right? You get a really good editor, you cut that word count down by 75% and you're good to go.

[Jamie Loftus]

Take out all the genes, metaphors, and you're down all 45 minutes. Good Lord. Well, it sounds worse than a YouTuber's memoir and that's really saying something.

[Robert Evans]

Yep. Speaking of worse than a YouTuber's memoir. Your book is a knot. It's good. No, you have a book that was a bad way to plug it, but you.

[Jamie Loftus]

I'm neither. I'm not a YouTuber. And it's not a memoir. It's about hot dogs. It's called Raw Dog. It is out in hardcover now. It'll be out in paperback next year. And listen to 16th minute on cool Zone Media, for crying out loud. Sophie and Robert and I have been working on it for the last six months. Year time. A flat circle where we talk to the Internet's main characters of the day and see how they're doing. It varies.

[Robert Evans]

Yay. All right.

[Sophie From Mars]

This got very dark very fast. Behind the Bastards is a production of Cool Zone Media. For more from Cool Zone Media, Visit our website, coolzonemedia.com or check us out on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Behind the Bastards is Now available on YouTube. New episodes every Wednesday and Friday. Subscribe to our channel, YouTube. Com@ behind the Bastards.