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Robert Evans
Call Zone Media.
Molly Conger
It's the podcast that it is on election day. But you won't hear this on election day. You know how the election has gone. You listening, have information.
Robert Evans
You'll hear this in December.
Molly Conger
Yeah, yeah, probably in December, which hopefully.
Robert Evans
Means the election is over by then. But who knows?
Sophie
God willing.
Molly Conger
Yeah, God willing, the election is almost certainly over. Which means, you know, find a way to communicate to the past and let us know so that we can gamble on it. That's what I'd like you to do. Anyway, speaking of gambling, you know who knows all of the words to the classic song the Gambler? Our guest today, Molly Conger. Molly, do you know when to hold him?
Sophie
Oh, I know when to fold him.
Molly Conger
That's that song as I know when to run.
Robert Evans
Well done. Well done.
Molly Conger
Oh my God.
Sophie
I think I only know that from Infowars.
Molly Conger
I do love watching Alex Jones sing that. And the Highwayman. Poncho and Lefty.
Sophie
You know, he's just grooving. It's. Things are going well for Alex when he's doing that.
Molly Conger
That's the most jealous I ever am of him. Because we're not allowed to use. We have no licensing agreement with any company that owns songs, does he? Yeah, he must, otherwise he wouldn't be allowed to air them like that. I think there. Cause there are like. There are like ways that you as a broadcaster can just like make a deal for access to, you know, they have X number of songs and we can use them for whatever. I think that exists. I think that's gotta be what he does.
Robert Evans
You were somewhat correct. But that doesn't mean that Alex Jones has a deal with them. He could totally be grifting. Cause that's what he do.
Molly Conger
I think he'd have been sued before then about this maybe.
Sophie
You're so chipper today, Robert.
Molly Conger
Yep, I'm. I'm chipper. I'm. I'm doing good.
Robert Evans
How many hours of sleep did you get, bud?
Molly Conger
I had like six last night. I tried to get to bed early, but I really couldn't get to sleep before like 3:30 in the morning. I don't know. Well, it's behind the Bastards and we're all trying not to obsess over the election. And I thought, you know, we all might be hoping that history goes a different way depending on what happens today. So why not read a work of alternate history? You know, we love doing book episodes over here because it lets me rest a little bit. The trouble is finding a book. You can't just use any book. And it's sometimes hard to figure it out. And thank God I got very lucky. Margaret Killjoy was over at my house recently. Not bragging, although I am kind of bragging.
Sophie
You know some celebrities.
Molly Conger
I know some celebrities. I know a famous Killjoy who's also a famous Margaret. And she brought me a book that a fan had given her at an event. Because our fans are unhinged and have just decided sometimes we should hand one member of the team an absolutely terrible piece of literature to give to another member of the team. And the book that I have received is 1945 by Newt Gingrich. Molly.
Robert Evans
Wow.
Sophie
What if things had been different?
Molly Conger
What if things had been different? Do you know much about old Newt in this book?
Sophie
So I did not realize, and this is on me entirely, I know a little bit about old moon base Newt.
Molly Conger
But I did not realize he had.
Sophie
Written 30 works of fiction.
Molly Conger
He has written a lot of fiction.
Sophie
Where does he find the time?
Molly Conger
I mean, he doesn't spend a lot of his political career. Does not take up a lot of time. Well.
Sophie
Cause usually when you see like, oh, you know, this politician has written a book, a memoir or whatever, and it's like, okay, well, like a campaign staffer wrote that. That's for pr. No, this is his passion. Yeah, he's writing these.
Molly Conger
Yeah, this is what he really wanted to do. And my God, I wish we had some sort of program in place where when we find some guy who has like an artistic dream, but also weird, real right wing politics, we just kind of like swallow our pride and fund, like have a government agency buy up copies of their books so they feel like a success. Anything to keep them from running for office. Let Hitler paint. Yeah, what if Let Hitler paint. Let Ben Shapiro make his dog shit TV show about fucking law students.
Sophie
And just so you're positing sort of like a Truman show type experience where we encapsulate them safely.
Molly Conger
We have to Truman show these people. Right. Run a fake. You know that White House correspondents dinner that supposedly got Trump committed him to run for office. Hold a fake. One of those where everybody just talks about how nice he is and how much they admire him. You know, put him in a bubble. Yeah, we really have to put these people in bubbles. It's the kindest thing for all of us. Oh, man. So, yeah, we're going to be reading 1945. As you might guess, it is a World War II alternate history. Yeah, of course, Sophie. What else could it be? What else could it be? And this, it's a Particular.
Robert Evans
You tell me that. But I did not process it. I was like, that's not what it is.
Molly Conger
Oh, yeah, of course. Of course. And it's a wild one. I'm gonna tell you that right now. So our author for today I'm gonna go through a little bit of a scripted portion here is Newton Leroy Gingrich. Leroy Leroy. Yes.
Sophie
Newton Gingrich.
Molly Conger
Yeah. You can't not do the Leroy Jenkins thing, which is just gonna be incomprehensible for anyone in our audience that's than their mid-30s. You don't know who Leroy Jenkins was. You don't remember the old times pieces of shit. Sorry. Anyway, there's a post in the subreddit now saying that I'm an old man and all my references are old man references. And the thing that makes me angriest is they're like, he never references the Simpsons from any episode later than the year 2000. And I'm sorry, I never reference a Simpsons episode from later than 1998 because that's when they stopped being good.
Robert Evans
You're not an old man.
Molly Conger
Thank you, Sophie. But you called me an old man on the show.
Robert Evans
Yeah, that's because I'm allowed to. It's okay when I do it. They're not allowed to do that. You are used to them. To me, you are ancient.
Molly Conger
I'm not. They haven't even seen Alien 4. These scrubs, these babies. None of them know what seaQuest DSV was. Molly, did you watch seaQuest?
Sophie
I don't know what you're talking about.
Molly Conger
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Go get a learner's permit.
Sophie
Anyway, I think we're the same age.
Molly Conger
We might be mutually Roy Gingrich, but.
Robert Evans
Mentally.
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Kate Max
Hey, guys. I'm Kate. Max. You might know me from my popular online series, the Running Interview show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run high. On the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Molly Conger
Newton Leroy Gingrich was born two years before the title of his novel on June 17, 1943. Newt's father was a career soldier. But Newt takes a different path. He's actually an art student. He gets, like, an MA in the mid-60s. And like any guy who could during the Vietnam War, he gets a deferment from being drafted by arguing that he was a student and a young father. Remember that because there's gonna be a funny coda to little bit later in this story.
Sophie
Well, we all know Newt's a family man.
Molly Conger
We all know Newt's a family man. We all know Newt's a big not fighting in wars, but not a big not having wars guy. Newton is elected to Congress in 1979. In an address to college Republicans before his election, he said, I think one of the great problems we have in the Republican Party is that we don't encourage you to be nasty. We encourage you to be neat, obedient, and loyal and faithful. In all those boy scout words. Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, they've done a terrible job, a pathetic job. In my lifetime, in my lifetime, I was born in 1943, we have not had a competent national Republican leader, not ever. And it's very clear from that context that a competent leader is a mean one. Right. Like, that's what he's missing. Like, Richard Nixon's just too nice.
Sophie
What politics really needs is more vitriol.
Molly Conger
Yeah, it needs more real assholes. I think that's interesting because it makes a case that I think is an important thing to understand if you're trying to, like, puzzle out why we are where we are now in American polit. And the basics of that case is, well, because Republicans lost their minds when Nixon had to step down. And everything they've done since then has been dedicated to stopping, making sure that no other Republican would ever have to leave office, no matter what crimes they committed. Right.
Sophie
And that's no modern precedent.
Molly Conger
Yeah, no modern precedent for that. So in 1985, as a congressman, Newton told an interviewer, I think, from the Washington Post, who asked about his deferment during Vietnam, quote, given everything I believe, a large part of me thinks I should have gone over, if only. Newt, I do wish you had gone to fight in Vietnam. Now, that same year, when President Reagan held a summit with Soviet premier Gorbachev, Newton called it the most dangerous summit for the west since Adolf Hitler met with Chamberlain in 1938 at Munich. And I love the idea that Gorbachev is a Hitler figure, this guy who wouldn't even shoot back during the protests that overthrew his government is like a Hitler, you know, the future Pizza Hut spokesman. Gorbachev as a Hitler kind of figure.
Sophie
Hitler, you would have loved Pizza Hut.
Molly Conger
That does tell you where our boy Newt is on, like, the political alignment chart, right? He sees Ronald Reagan as a fucking Neville Chamberlain type. Now, that same year, Gingrich made the news for comparing a House race that was in question in Indiana to the Holocaust. Here's a quote about it. Hey, I'm going to read you the quote, Molly. Here's a quote about it as relayed by an article in Mother Jones. And it starts with Newt here. We've talked a lot in recent weeks about the Holocaust, about the incredible period in which Nazi Germany killed millions of people and in particular came close to wiping out European Jewry. If someone said to me two days ago, talking frankly about the McIntyre affair, in which Democrats refer refused to seat the winner of a House race until they'd conducted a recount, and the efforts by the Democratic leadership to not allow the people of Indiana to have their representative, but instead to impose upon them someone else. Something in which he quotes German poet Martin Niemoller. I have never quite, until tonight, been able to link it together. Niemuller, the great German theologian, said at one point, when the Nazis came for the Jews, I did nothing. And when the Nazis came for me, there was no one left. Right. I think. Sorry, I think it's Nymulu, but this like. So basically the Democrats are like, well, until we finish a recount, we're not gonna sit this guy because there's questions about the election. And fucking nude is like, this is the same as the Holocaust.
Sophie
So at what point did millions of people die? Did they kill all the voters?
Molly Conger
Did they murder everybody? It just kind of seems like they were doing a thing that legally is a part of the election. Like having a recount, waiting to seat the elected leader until you do the recount. Is that the same as killing millions of people in factories of death?
Sophie
There needs to be a swear jar for people who abuse the Nie Mueller poem.
Molly Conger
Yeah, yeah, you need to put a.
Sophie
Dollar in the jar because that was not appropriate.
Molly Conger
I think anytime you reference it, you have to lose. Like, it should be like a Yakuza thing where you have to give up one of the joints of a finger, Right? And maybe that'll cause people to be like, a lot more careful about when they deploy that bad boy.
Sophie
I heard it in closing arguments at a trial last month. A trial for a man who is a white nationalist. Basically, his lawyer's argument was, you know, this is free speech. You're trying him for his free speech. And in his closing arguments, he refers to the Nie Mueller poem. Except, you know, the poem starts, first they came for the communists, and I said nothing because I was not a communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I said nothing because I was not a Jew. He says he's going to quote the poem, but he says, first they came for one group.
Molly Conger
Yeah.
Sophie
And then they came for another group. And it's like, what were the groups?
Molly Conger
What were the groups? Anyone who goes for any group is a Nazi.
Sophie
What were the groups, Terry?
Molly Conger
Yeah, first they came for the Nazis. And I did not speak out because I was not a Nazi. Oh, man, it's abuse. It's very funny. Okay, so let's get back into it. Newt served as the Republican speaker of the house from 1995-99. Gingrich was the architect of the Republican victory in the 1994 congressional election, which legitimately set the stage for nearly everything the right has been able to accomplish since. Without the Contract with America and his retaking of the House, it's possible, we see. It's possible that we see no George W. Bush presidency, no right wing Supreme Court today, and at least a lot less of a right wing drift on behalf of the Democrats who stumbled to fight him. Right. This is a major move in US Politics. I don't think a lot of folks who, you know, whose awareness of politics is sort of started since the Trump years know much about this. But you had, you know, Slick Willie stop George H.W. bush from getting a second term. It drove these people crazy. You have briefly the Democrats in control of government, and then in 94, Newt leads. I think they. They pick up 54 House seats. It's this massive sweeping victory that comes with this thing called the Contract with America, which is basically Newt introducing what becomes kind of the neocon platform. Right. And this is like a really. I mean, it's one of the most important moments in modern electoral history. Right. Newt is one of the first conservatives to see a real promise in creating a right wing system of education to push conservative values. In 1993, he crafted a college course taught at Reinhart College called Renewing American Civilization. We're looking at this as like sort of a proto. What's that fucking guy who does the little kids TV bullshit?
Sophie
Oh, like the Prager University.
Molly Conger
Prager University. Right. This is a precursor to Prager University, right?
Sophie
I mean, he was on the Hillsdale track.
Molly Conger
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's eventually televised in a cable channel called Mind Extension University.
Sophie
I don't like that.
Molly Conger
Yeah, you gotta extend your mind. Now, obviously, he was a ferocious opponent of gay rights and the degradation of American values in the modern era. He talked a lot about how people today, especially because of Democrats gaining such cultural dominance, are just awful compared to the glorious greatest generation who really understood morality. He also cheated on his second wife with a staffer who became his third wife while he was advocating for the impeachment of Bill Clinton over infidelity. Now, this should not have been surprising to anyone who knew that in 1989, in an interview with the Washington Post, he explained that he fought with his second wife not because it mattered to him what they were fighting about, but because he had a habit of dominance that had been stoked by his time in politics. He estimated to the Post that his marriage had a 53 to 47% chance of making it. Oh, man. Family values, 5347.
Sophie
I mean, that's. I wouldn't bet on those odds.
Molly Conger
Fascinating odds to give your own marriage. Now, Newt has a long and fascinating history, and I do recommend reading that. There's a 2012 Mother Jones article with some of his best quotes that we'll link in the show Notes. If you want a better understanding of the man, though, that's a good way of getting it. But for our purposes today, we're going to be focusing on the novel 1945, which he co authored. It is set in an alternate world where the U.S. defeated Japan, but Hitler never declared war on the U.S. and so we never got involved in a war with Germany. The Nazis won their war with the Soviets. They took most of their European holdings and forced them to accept a peace. They then boxed the Brits into a corner. A few years later, they carried out a surprise attack on the United States in order to kill our nuclear scientists and stop the completion of what in our universe, we know as the Manhattan Project. Now, now, because of where this takes place, I'll spoil it for you, Molly. This book centers around the Waffen SS invading East Tennessee. That's what this book is about.
Sophie
How'd they get all the way to Tennessee?
Molly Conger
They've got their wonder weapons. They've got these. Newt is, again, he's like a History Channel history buff. Right? So a huge part of this book is the Nazis building all of these wonder weapons that were mostly theoretical during the actual war. Including this massive bombing type plane that they had, they had kind of been talking about making that probably never would have worked out. Like it's all sorts of like nonsense sci fi weapons. Right.
Sophie
And what did they want with Tennessee specifically?
Molly Conger
It's where the nuclear program was headed.
Sophie
That's not true.
Molly Conger
Well, actually, I think it was initially before they moved to Los Alamos, I think they had. It was somewhere in like the southeast before they moved to Los Alamos that they had like the early stages of the nuclear program. And I think he's just kind of positing a much more primitive nuclear program. But. But I'm going to pull up the book, Molly, because at this point you should see this bad boy. Look at this, look at this.
Sophie
Look at that cover art.
Molly Conger
There we go, There we go.
Sophie
Beautiful cover art.
Molly Conger
Look at the size of his name there.
Sophie
It looks like the book is called Newt Gingrich.
Molly Conger
Newt Gingrich, 1945. Yeah. Like it's a book about a two year old Newt Gingrich and it kind.
Sophie
Of has like a sci fi feel to it. If the listener. If you're not watching this on YouTube. I don't ever go to YouTube.com, i'm not watching this on YouTube. The COVID of the book is on the book's Wikipedia page and it has kind of a sci fi vibe to it.
Molly Conger
Yeah. Now I want you to look at the back here. First off, Newt's smaller than I expected. When you see him in a photo like this. This is a picture of him with his co author William R. Forston and with Jim Bain, who is the owner of Bane Publishing. And we're going to be talking a lot about Bain Publishing. I also.
Sophie
Is that related to Bane Capital or Bane, the Batman villain?
Molly Conger
No, not at all. Spelled differently. Has not broken Batman's. I do really like the Hitler on the back here. You can see him here. He just looks so happy.
Sophie
You hold it up to me. Wrong camera. Wait, wrong camera. Other camera.
Molly Conger
It's hard to figure out here.
Sophie
Yeah, that way.
Molly Conger
Yeah, there we go. That's a good Hitler. Look at him. Look at him.
Robert Evans
It's a choice.
Sophie
Nick English is 6ft tall? How big are those other men?
Molly Conger
Oh, wow. Because, yeah, I thought he was actually tall. So these guys. So I think it's William Forstian is just kind of a fucking mountain of a man. Yeah, he's got to be like 6, 3, 6, 4. It's a big guy. Jim Bain, not a big guy. Also has the. And I say this with all love to pornographers he has the smile of a pornographer. Right? Like, look at that. That's a man who's looking at you naked like there's no other way to describe the look on Jim Bain's face. Speaking of people who look at you naked, our sponsors don't. They would never do that. They're gentlemen, you know, or gentle thems. Because I think they probably don't identify as a binary gender, given that they are.
Sophie
Ratheon is nonparation.
Molly Conger
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Sophie
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Kate Max
Hey, guys, I'm Kate. Max. You might know me from my popular online series, the Running Interview show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast Post Run High is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. You know that rush of endorphins you feel after a great workout? Well, that's when the real magic happens. So if you love hearing real inspiring stories from the people you know, follow and admire, join me every week for Post Run High. It's where we take the conversation beyond the run and get into the heart of it all. It's lighthearted, pretty crazy, and very fun. Listen to Post Run high on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Molly Conger
And we're back. So I want to get into the book jacket of this mama jama. Let's see what this is about. And you can tell right away on the inside. This was a 1995. US$24. That is kind of pricey. That is way, way too much money to spend on Newt Gingrich's 1945. Holy shit.
Sophie
I feel like a 29.99 for that hardback today would be pushing it.
Molly Conger
Yeah, yeah. This is like maybe like a $15 book. Man. That's a lot. That's a lot. So introducing Lieutenant Commander James Martel. He's the right man in the right place at a very bad time. The year is 1945. In Third Reich reigns triumphant. The Soviet Union is a fragment of its former self. And Britain has accepted a dictated armistice in the Pacific after a brief, sharp war with Japan. America is the only significant military presence now. The world's two superpowers. Ah. Each other warily across an Atlantic ocean that daily grows smaller. The big show is about to start. Who will win? The Americans with their formidable industrial base and superior logistical techniques, or the Germans with their science fiction superweapons that turn out not to be fictional after all. Only one thing is certain. If America is beaten, this alternative Reich will last a thousand years. Join speaker of the House Newt Gingrich and fellow historian William R. Forstjen in a world that, save for Adolf Hitler's inexplicable folly in prematurely declaring war on the United States in 1941, would have.
Sophie
Been just revisiting the timeline here. So he's not writing this in his spare time, like in his retirement or.
Molly Conger
Between the speaker of the House. This is a year after he like orchestrates a complete upending of US Electoral politics.
Sophie
So shouldn't he be focusing on like the government?
Molly Conger
No, no, I think we can all agree this was a better use of his time than doing his job. I just find it very funny that he describes himself and his co author as fellow historians because as. As a spoiler. They are not. Neither of them are historians. Well, Forstjen is a little bit of a historian, but he's like a historian who went immediately into writing alternate histories. He is a professor of history at Montreat College in North Carolina.
Sophie
Montreal. Montreal College is like a small.
Molly Conger
But that's not a real Presbyterian. Yeah, look, I'll give a partial to Forstjen, right, Because again, he spends most of his career like his big job is writing a bunch of articles for Boys Life magazine as well as young adult novels. And does that make you a real historian? I'm going to put that on the cusp, but fucking Newt Gingrich certainly is not a real historian. Forstjen's main publisher was Bain, who back in the early to mid-1990s was a major purveyor of pulp, sci fi and alternate history books. That changed as a result of 1945, which due to Gingrich's star power, was expected to be a major hit. You can tell that just by the look of this cover, right? Newt's name is massive. They're charging 24 fucking dollars for this thing. And yeah, it's a catastrophe, Molly. It's one of the greatest disasters in fucking alt history publishing. If you read online forums where alt history fans discuss this book, the rumors, credible ones, are that Newt promised Bane he was going to devote a lot of time using his platform. Newt is a famous PR hound, right? He's constantly talking to the Washington Post. He's willing to say like, shitty stuff about himself to them, as we've kind of covered earlier, because his attitude is I should always be in the post, right? So Bane is like, well, old Newt, he knows how to get all the attention. We need to move some real copies. Let's buy like 100,000 copies of this fucking book.
Sophie
Sells 100,000 copies.
Molly Conger
I know, it's so funny. And. And yeah, Newt fails to do the actual PR that he had promised to do. And As a result, 1945 is one of the biggest flops in publishing history. According to the Washington Post, for every hundred copies of this book that were sent out by Bain, 81 were returned unsold, leaving the publisher with almost 100,000 copies sitting around their warehouse. The scuttlebutt is that this was such a flop, it nearly killed Bain entirely. While I was doing my pre search for this episode, I found a thread on a forum titled alternate history from 2007. Users speculated about why the sequel never came to pass. One user, bco, wrote 1945 practically bankrupted Bain Books. They assumed a prominent figure as Gingrich would lead to huge sales. Printed up a lot of books, couldn't sell many of them. The idea of a sequel was out of the question. Another user, Amerigo Vespucci, replied with added context. To make matters worse, there was a falling out between Jim Bain and Forstjan over creative differences in the story. In part, Forstjian wrote the story as a single volume, but in order to better capitalize on the name on the COVID Bain split it into two volumes. There were other differences as well, and Bain never really discussed the matter in public. It left a bad taste in his Mouth, Even with Bain's passing, I doubt we'll ever see the second volume. There'd be too many legal problems surrounding it. Your best bet might be to wait 20 years or so until Forstjin is dead too. He is still alive. Enter a law school to become a crackerjack lawyer and publicist and then start negotiations to have the second volume released from his estate. I love the thought of a man who's that dedicated to a 1945 sequel. I need to know how it is. It's a 30 year plan to get that book.
Sophie
Does Hitler die?
Molly Conger
Hitler is still alive in the end.
Sophie
That's what I'm saying. Like in the sequel, how does it end for Hitler?
Molly Conger
I think the way this book is supposed to explain things with Hitler is that he's in a horrible plane crash in 41 and so he gets all fucked up and and his people are able to negotiate a peace with the ussr and as a result he kind of loses his mind. Like he's just like this damaged, broken figure of a man in the book.
Sophie
But he was so mentally normal before.
Molly Conger
Yeah, he was doing so great before. Because this is an alt history thing and because Newt is the kind of dude that he is. The main Nazi in this is a guy named Otto Skorzeny who is a lot of people. He was a real guy. He was one of the fathers of modern special forces tactics. Like Skorzeny is a major figure in the development of that kind of shit. I did find in a. There's a fucking Orlando Sentinel book review that says that he died during an attack on Crete, which is not true. He lived until the 70s, he moved to Spain so that Franco would protect him and he lived a fairly long life for a dude like him. But yeah, I wanted to start here with one of the most, probably the most famous passage in this book, right? The opening scene which features a high powered D.C. politician who happens to be, if I'm not mistaken, the speaker of the House.
Sophie
We got a self insert.
Molly Conger
Yes, this is Newt's self insert. And remember 1995. This is right around when Newt Gingrich is attacking Clinton and saying that he should be impeached because does he describe.
Sophie
His self insert character as very handsome?
Molly Conger
He describes his self insert character as having an affair while he as the real speaker of the House was in this moment having an affair. Okay, we have some honesty and specifically the point of this chapter is his self insert character hands over the secret to a Nazi spy. Who is the person he's having an affair with. That the US is working on creating an atomic weapon. Like the inciting incident in this is his self insert being compromised and giving up nuclear secrets in order to get laid.
Sophie
And he is in the real world, the speaker of the House.
Molly Conger
The speaker of the House and having an affair with his staff.
Sophie
It doesn't sound trustworthy to me.
Molly Conger
It's amazing stuff. September 1, 1945 Washington D.C. also, I don't know why they do this, but they spell prologue wrong.
Sophie
That's not one of the ways to.
Molly Conger
Spell that at the end of this. I've only ever seen it spelled with an e at the end of it. I don't understand why they're doing it this way. But darling, Germany and the United States are not at war. What harm is there if we share the occasional bit of gossip? Surely you don't think that I a loyal Swede. The question trailed off in a lethal pout as his beautiful and so very exotic mistress stretched languidly, mock innocent appeal in her eyes. Still, he mustn't let her see just how much she moved him. A relationship had to have some balance. He stretched in turn, reached out over for his cigarettes and gold plated Ronson on the art deco nightstand with its Tiffany lamp. Since he wasn't sure what to say, he made a production out of lighting up and enjoying that first luxurious after bout inhalation. What an unsexy way of talking about the aftermath of sex.
Robert Evans
Just to say prologue. No. E is a declarative programming language designed for developing logic based AI applications.
Molly Conger
I think that. Okay, so this is. Oh, maybe this is what OpenAI used to create their AI. Is it all based on Newt Gingrich's 1945?
Robert Evans
That's exactly what I was saying.
Molly Conger
What a nightmare. What a hideous, hideous nightmare. So he's having after sex smokes with this lady who's very obviously a Nazi spy.
Sophie
Yeah, she's not even being kind of sly about it. She's like, what if we just. If you really love me, you'd tell me. National Defense Information.
Molly Conger
Yeah, yeah. Now here is Newt not at all talking about his actual marriage and actual infidelity. Playfully. To drive home the potential loss, she bit his shoulder, then kissed it back. Oh hell, I don't want to. I wish I could just divorce Miss Little Goody Two Shoes. I like this arrangement. She laughed softly. Mistress to the Chief of Staff of the President of United. Oh, sorry, the Chief of Staff. So it's not exactly him, right? It's just basically him. Nice title, don't you think? Such a book I could write. Mayhew shuddered at the thought. Don't even joke about it. But he could trust her to be discreet. He was sure he could trust her more to cover his moment of doubt than for any other reason. He harked back to her initial gambit. One thing we really don't have to worry about is a war between Germany and the United States. It just isn't in the cards. There's no way it could happen within the next year or so. And after that, we'll Take it from me. But nobody is going to dream of messing with the United States, not even Adolf Hitler. I don't think there's going to be a war either. But you seem so sure. What is your big secret? You were so excited about it when you came in here, and now you won't tell me. Suddenly the pouting sex kitten gave way to Diana the huntress. Tell me, she hissed. Mayhew looked at his delicious interrogator for a moment. Her intensity almost frightened him. Then he was overcome by it, by her. His had been a strict and starchy upbringing, and his marriage had not been born of love but of political opportunity, though his wife didn't know that, so he capitulated. Besides, he wanted to tell what good were secrets if you couldn't share? Okay, I surrender. Lucky for you, she purred, then laughed. Such games we have, she whispered in his ear. You play wonderfully. Now tell. Having given in characteristically, he stalled. Sure you're not looking for a story for your Swedish newspaper? She just looked at him. He could tell she was tiring of the delay. And then he tells her that we're making a nuke.
Sophie
So he must have missed the annual training that they give men in the government that, like beautiful women, do not want to talk politics with you with their tops off. Beautiful women just aren't doing.
Molly Conger
Yeah, no, they never would. I think that's very funny. I think there's so much off putting language in this book. Like Newt thinking of Newt Gingrich writing the word sex kitten gives me like physical shivers up and down my spine. And it should do the same to you. But you know what doesn't make me shiver?
Robert Evans
How cute my dog is in the background of this video.
Sophie
Oh, Anderson is looking very good down there.
Molly Conger
That gives me a little shiver. That gives me a little shiver.
Robert Evans
But like a joy shiver.
Molly Conger
Right? Right. Yeah, Joy shiver, you know? Sure, why not? The products and services that support our pod.
Robert Evans
But do they support my dog?
Molly Conger
No, they're neutral. They're neutral. They're cat People.
Robert Evans
She left.
Molly Conger
Uh huh.
Robert Evans
The second you said no, she left.
Molly Conger
Yeah. Wow.
Sophie
Stand your ground, Anderson.
Molly Conger
Stand your ground.
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Molly Conger
91 One Response. What's your emergency? My babies. Please. My babies.
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Molly Conger
You're going to go to jail if you don't come with us right now.
Sophie
Throughout this whole thing, I kept telling myself, nobody's that crazy. Crazy.
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Kate Max
Hey, guys, I'm Kate Max. You might know me from my popular online series, the Running Interview show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High, is all about. About. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. You know that rush of endorphins you feel after a great workout? Well, that's when the real magic happens. So if you love hearing real inspiring stories from the people you know, follow and admire, join me every week for Post Run High. It's where we take the conversation beyond the run and get into the heart of it all. It's lighthearted, pretty crazy, and very fun. Listen to Post Run high on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Molly Conger
And we.
Robert Evans
Can really tell this is election day.
Molly Conger
Yeah, we're really. We're half assing our 1945 episode.
Sophie
So I can't wait to find out what happens when she doesn't do anything with that secret.
Molly Conger
Yeah, well, she does. And Hitler invades East Tennessee, which is.
Sophie
Funny because there is a guy who does love Hitler who has a compound in East Tennessee.
Molly Conger
There's a lot. Molly, there's more than one guy who loves Hitler and has a compound in East Tennessee.
Robert Evans
God.
Molly Conger
So there's a Gizmodo article I found called Newt Gingrich should go back to writing science fiction. Yes, we should kind of urging him to finish this book. It has some interesting stuff to say about this piece of fiction. In any case, whether 1945 is as historically dodgy as many have claimed, it contains several vital elements of total awesomeness. For one thing, the triumphant Nazi Germany spends its time developing what the back cover describes as science fiction. Superweb. You think I'm kidding? How about rockets that are remotely guided via television cameras? Or super jets with drop tanks to provide ground support? Plus super rockets and hydrogen powered submarines.
Sophie
Plus every villain super in front of a real team.
Molly Conger
You gotta stick super in front of it, otherwise people won't know that it's better than the normal kind of thing. Every villain in this book is hideous and crazy. At some point, Scorzini gets injured and loses an eye so he can get an eyepatch or maybe some kind of cyborg eye. In this passage, our hero, the square jawed Jim Martin Martel tries to shoot down Skorzeny's plane and fails. Now, ammunition gone, he could only watch as the second and the third plane lifted off. Unlike the second plane, the third stayed low as the pilot pushed it in just enough left rudder to cause the plane to crab onto the edge of the grass strip so that it passed by not 20ft away from where Jim stood. Otto Skorzeny looked down, grinning demonically, and James Martell finally understood the meaning of hatred. There's apparently like three or four times where a character learns the meaning of hatred, and that's because Newt Gingrich is an likes it when people expand their minds. For a little bit more coverage of some of the awkward lines in this book, I'm going to turn to an Orlando Sentinel piece titled As a Writer, Gingrich Makes a Good Politician. Good title for a book review. 1945 is cluttered with awkward lines like the exhaust vapors that swirled in through the car's open windows stank like hell itself. Then there's this. The scene brought to Martel's mind the absurd image of a cobra tenderly protecting a baby. Much of the pre.
Sophie
What's bringing that to mind?
Molly Conger
Why would that bring that to mind? Have you ever seen that? Is that a thing you can picture because you've witnessed it?
Sophie
You know what this reminds me of?
Molly Conger
Yeah. You know what this reminds me of? A thing no one's ever seen. Much of the. Yeah, it's very funny. Much of the pre publication hoopla surrounding 1945 involved its supposedly steamy sex scenes, some of which Were excerpted last year in the New York Times Magazine. When the book was still in draft form, Gingrich vowed to tone down the sex. He succeeded, for example, in bed with his. Yeah, I mean, we just read that passage. But I love that there were leaks of this that were too horny and he had to change the final draft.
Sophie
There's also a lot of leaking these.
Molly Conger
It's gotta be Newt, right? Who else would leak these? Right?
Sophie
He's just testing the water. How horny can we get?
Molly Conger
A good amount of George H.W. bush slander in this? Gingrich talks about like, has a character who knew him when he was a pilot. George H.W. bush fought in World War II. Who says if you needed someone to lead a group straight into enemy flack, he was your man. Which is funny because he was in fact shot down during the war. And he had to also edit those portions to be nicer to George H.W. bush, which is cowardly. Newt. You've blown up any sort of legitimacy your book had when you do stuff like that. Anyway, I want to move to a passage midway through the book that's set in Winston Churchill's office. Because one of the things that happens while the Germans invade East Tennessee, see, Rommel conducts a landing in Scotland. Of course, they're moving down through the.
Sophie
Desert Fox is going to the moors.
Molly Conger
No one. No one's bet. No one. Better to conduct a war on the Scottish moors than the Desert Fox. Just port the Africa Corps right on over. They'll appreciate the breeze. So I want to talk about this just because there's a little bit here that's kind of relevant to modern politics. Here's Winston Churchill talking and one of his aides, Molly and I both made.
Robert Evans
The same face, but we're like, oh no.
Molly Conger
Uh huh. He's talking to one of his aides, a guy named Andrew. For my part, I've ordered a secret alert for the Royal Air Force starting at midnight. Also, the army will move its spring maneuver schedule up so as to increase troop strength throughout England. I'm also going to make a speech before the House next week accusing Hitler of preparing to launch an attack against. Against us. Winston, I wish you wouldn't do that. Why? Because the America first crowd will go to town on you, that's why. They'd claim it was part of an ongoing plot to drag us into yet another European conflict. They'll say it was a repeat of what you and Roosevelt tried to do in 40 and 41. They'll say you're deliberately trying to Provoke Hitler that you came back to office intending to do just that, to finally drag us into a showdown with Germany. If you make that speech, I won't be able to back you up. A cold, static laden silence was the only response. Response. Even Roosevelt didn't start to move openly until after the 40 elections. You know, Andrew continued after a moment's pause, you know that I agreed with him 100%. I could see the threat as far back as the denouement of Versailles and the move into the Rhineland. I knew then and I know now that the maniac son of a bitch would never stop on his own and that nothing short of a full scale war with the United States could stop him. We should have been in it back in 41. If it hadn't been for that damned accident, he'd have declared war on us after Pearl Harbor. He all but told me that himself in 41 we'd have won easily. Now he's 10 times more dangerous. I just love that the America first guys are the bad guy in 1995. And fucking Gingrich is absolutely going to wind up on that side here. Yeah. Now there's a couple other fun moments in another chapter. Not long after this, we go to Rommel talking with some of his people and there's a line here that's very funny. Americans would be startled to discover the degree of camaraderie that existed not just between different ranks within the German officer corps, but between officers in rankers. Though the practice had its roots in the mutinous conditions prevalent in the German military at the end of the Great War. Perhaps Germans could afford the informality because German society was so thoroughly status conscious, whereas Americans, so unready to grant superiority to anybody, needed the outward manifestations of rank because otherwise they would lose track of who issued orders and who took them. It's an interesting description of American correct culture.
Robert Evans
Newt.
Sophie
A strange read of Germans. I don't know that there was informality in the ranks.
Molly Conger
Yeah. Informality in the German military. I think he's trying to talk about like Auf Trigtstaktik, which was this kind of anti. It was this kind of flattening of military hierarchies in certain specific ways that came about as a result of like combat in World War I, where you were saying basically like unit leading officers should have a lot of freedom to like conduct advances and kind of keep carry out attacks in a way that sort of they see fit rather than having to follow orders to the letter from above. Right. It was.
Sophie
I just don't Know that that translated into sort of the social culture of time.
Molly Conger
I don't know that I would say the German military was particularly informal between officers and civilians, especially since like the Prussian Junker officer class was still a major part of the German military in this period.
Sophie
So what happens when they get to Tennessee? Is it like a ground invasion?
Molly Conger
I think they, I mean, they come in from the air. Right, of course, yeah. And then, I mean, I can tell you what happens, which is that Sergeant Alvin York and a bunch of elderly veterans form a militia and stop the Nazis.
Sophie
Oh, wow.
Molly Conger
Largely that's who saves the day. Because Newt's gotta have his pro second amendment stuff. So he like puts it in the mouth of like Sergeant, an elderly Sergeant York fighting off the boffin as the.
Sophie
Old men of Appalachia. Just like band men of Appalachia. Look, okay, I can buy that.
Molly Conger
I can buy that. I mean, the Waffen SS, the Waffen SS proved in the actual World War II that they were not very good at fighting an insurgency. And I think that Appalachia is worse terrain to fight an insurgency than anywhere in Western Russia. So I'm going to say yeah, probably. Probably that would have gone bad for the Nazis.
Sophie
This could conceivably have been an interesting alternate history. The Waffen SS trying to like fight their way town to town through Appalachia and just getting their shit wrecked.
Molly Conger
Well, the, the problem with this book. Cause that isn't it. That's a book I would read, especially if someone like that, someone less problematic like Harry Turtledove had written the fucker. But that's not like Newt. Actually. Newt and Forstjan kind of fall for a standard pitfall in writing fiction here. Writing, particularly like speculative past fiction is you have this point that's the actual thing that you want to get that's actually really interesting, which is like an insurgent war in Appalachia between the Nazi Nazis and elderly American World War I veterans. That's a fun premise, but you don't get to it until the very end of the book. Right. By the end of the book, Hitler's geared up for a full scale invasion and we're actually getting ready to have he set up a naval conflict between US carrier groups and Nazi like the German Navy. There's a lot of cool stuff that's happening by the end potentially, but it's not really a part of the story because he feels the need to go back much further. You should always start a, at the thing that's most interesting to you. Right. Like you don't actually want to waste a lot of time building up to that. Even if you're like, well, people are gonna wanna know how we got here. No, they're not. They don't give a shit. Start at whatever's most interesting. You know, it's a rookie mistake. Maybe if Newt hadn't been so busy being the speaker of the House, he'd have been able to get it right.
Sophie
So what you're saying is the sequel is probably a banger, and we need to get it.
Molly Conger
I think the sequel is a banger. It was all apparently intended to be one book. That's too long. But, yeah, you know, I don't know. We probably don't need to go through this whole thing, especially because it's the election, and I do like that he.
Sophie
Named his protagonist Jim Martell. Right. That's very Charles Martell.
Molly Conger
You know, it's a fine name. Yeah.
Sophie
Sherlock's dad.
Molly Conger
Yeah. Yeah. Also played by Christian Christopher. What's his name? From the Lord of the Rings. I don't know. I think I'm good on this book. We hit 45 minutes, right? That's all we owe you on our off week. This is an off week. We're taking a breather. We're trying not to focus too much on the news, because nothing interesting is going to happen yet. You in the future know. So just scream at past Robert and Molly about what happened, happened.
Sophie
And if I don't get any message from the future, I will assume that we all die this week.
Molly Conger
So please do send a message. This is it for the whole world. Thank God. Thank goodness. Anyway, Molly, how do you feel about the alternate past? What's your favorite World War II counterfactual? Do you spend much time thinking about, like, for example, what if the Germans hadn't invaded Russia, but had focused all of their military might on North Africa?
Sophie
You know, as a woman, Robert, I'm going to say no. I have never thought about that in my life.
Molly Conger
Oh, that's a shame. I spent a lot of time doing World War II counterfactuals.
Sophie
No, I could run, get my partner. I think he probably could talk about this for hours. I think this is a thing that men like to think about.
Molly Conger
Oh, yeah, of course.
Sophie
But no, no, I have never considered this.
Molly Conger
So are you more of a World War I counterfactual guy? Like, what if Serbia had taken over the Austro Hungarian Empire? What if, by World War II, the great land power in was the Serbian Empire?
Robert Evans
What if.
Sophie
I'm always. I'm always asking myself, like that. So aren't you always asking about that?
Molly Conger
I'll tell. I'll tell you one thing. We never would have stopped putting cigarettes in movies. Right. If Serbia is like a China sized, like, market for American television and film, cigarettes don't ever get cut out of Hollywood, you know, so that's good. That's my. That's my addiction.
Robert Evans
Anyway, Molly, do you have anything you want to plug?
Sophie
Yeah, you should listen to my podcast, Weird Little Guys. Assuming no acts of terrorism happened this week, I won't have any new news to cover in there, but each week we.
Molly Conger
There have already been five bomb threats against polling locations in Georgia.
Sophie
Oh, they did pick up a guy the other day with an armed bomb about to blow up the power grid in Nashville. So it does keep happening.
Molly Conger
I'll never run off, say there will be no acts of terrorism.
Sophie
Yeah, well, you can tune into weird little guys to hear about these kind of weird little guys who do things like that.
Molly Conger
Yeah. Speaking of weird little guys, Newt Gingrich, probably a lot littler because he's extremely old now, so he's weird.
Sophie
Check out Newt's wife's Instagram. She Photoshops her face to be completely smooth in every picture.
Kate Max
It's incredible.
Molly Conger
Beautiful. Beautiful. And presumably, if this book is true, she's plying him for nuclear secrets. She used to be, you know what.
Sophie
The ambassador to the Vatican. She's not anymore.
Molly Conger
Wow, what a do nothing job.
Sophie
I know.
Molly Conger
Make me ambassador to the Vatican, because you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to get into those catacombs. I'm going to steal some saints bones. I'm going to have a whole necklace made out of the bones of saints. Big Robert.
Sophie
Dream bigger. I'm getting the chronovisor.
Molly Conger
Oh. Oh, wow.
Kate Max
Yeah.
Sophie
The Pope's time machine.
Molly Conger
Yeah, of course, of course. Anyways, hopefully the Pope has a time machine.
Robert Evans
Hopefully things aren't.
Molly Conger
I love the idea that the Pope has a time machine because my imagination is. Rather than doing anything that would help the Catholic Church, he just repeatedly goes back in time to put a thumbnail on Martin Luther's chair. He's just constantly fucking with Martin Luther a little bit.
Sophie
I don't think the chronovisor allows you to manipulate the past, only to view.
Molly Conger
Oh. Oh, well then I would go look at dinosaurs, obviously.
Sophie
Obviously, Robert.
Molly Conger
That's the only thing I would be interested, I'm proud to say. I wouldn't stop any historical crimes with a time machine. I'm doing nothing but dinosaur related stuff. If I get access to a time machine.
Sophie
Yeah.
Molly Conger
Yeah.
Sophie
Anyway, that's what I'm doing.
Molly Conger
Go have sex with Newt Gingrich and get secrets from him.
Sophie
It's apparently easy anymore.
Molly Conger
There's only one way to learn.
Robert Evans
I hope future everybody is okay.
Molly Conger
Yeah. Okay. And, you know, wear a rubber. You don't know where Newt's been. Jesus Christ. Newt doesn't know where Newt's been.
Robert Evans
At this point, behind the Bastards is a production of Cool Zone Media. For more from Cool Zone Media, Visit our website, CoolZone Media, or check us out on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Behind the Bastards is Now available on YouTube. New episodes every Wednesday and Friday. Subscribe to our channel, YouTube.comeehindthebastards.
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Molly Conger
My babies. Please. My babies.
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One woman, two lives and a secret she would kill to protect.
She went crazy, shot and killed all her farm animals, Slaughtered them in front of the kids. Tried to burn their house down.
Listen to the unborn on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Kate Max
Hey, guys. I'm Kate. Max. You might know me from my popular online series, the Running Interview show, where I run with celebrities, athletes, entrepreneurs, and more. After those runs, the conversations keep going. That's what my podcast, Post Run High is all about. It's a chance to sit down with my guests and dive even deeper into their stories, their journeys, and the thoughts that arise once we've hit the pavement together. Listen to Post Run high on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Podcast Summary: Behind the Bastards - "We Read Newt Gingrich's World War 2 Alternate History"
Episode Overview Behind the Bastards, hosted by Cool Zone Media and iHeartPodcasts, delves into the lives and actions of some of history's most infamous figures. In the episode titled "We Read Newt Gingrich's World War 2 Alternate History," released on December 5, 2024, the hosts explore Newt Gingrich's foray into alternate history fiction with his novel 1945. This episode provides an in-depth analysis of the book, its reception, and its implications within the broader context of Gingrich's political legacy.
The episode begins with light-hearted banter among the hosts, Molly Conger, Sophie, and Robert Evans, setting a casual tone before diving into the main topic. Molly introduces the focus on Newt Gingrich's 1945, highlighting its significance as an alternate history novel penned by a prominent political figure.
Notable Quote:
Molly Conger [02:02]: "It's behind the Bastards and we're all trying not to obsess over the election. And I thought, you know, we all might be hoping that history goes a different way depending on what happens today. So why not read a work of alternate history?"
The hosts provide context about Newt Gingrich, emphasizing his political influence and controversial persona. They discuss his role as the Speaker of the House from 1995 to 1999 and his impact on the Republican Party, particularly through the Contract with America. Molly critiques Gingrich's leadership style, suggesting it paved the way for modern right-wing politics in the United States.
Notable Quote:
Molly Conger [09:32]: "What politics really needs is more vitriol. Yeah, it needs more real assholes."
1945 is an alternate history novel where Nazi Germany emerges victorious in their war against the Soviet Union and subsequently attacks the United States. The novel posits a world where Hitler never declared war on the U.S., leading to a different trajectory of World War II outcomes. The story centers around the Waffen SS invading East Tennessee with advanced "wonder weapons."
Key Plot Points:
Notable Quote:
Molly Conger [25:07]: "Only one thing is certain. If America is beaten, this alternative Reich will last a thousand years."
The hosts critique 1945 for its writing quality, historical inaccuracies, and Gingrich's departure from traditional historical scholarship. They highlight the book's commercial failure, noting that it nearly bankrupted the publisher, Bain Books, due to poor sales despite Gingrich's prominence. The discussion also touches on the absence of a sequel, attributing it to creative disagreements and the book's lackluster reception.
Notable Quotes:
Robert Evans [07:04]: "From audio up, the creators of Stephen King Strawberry Spring Comes the Unborn. A shocking true story."
Molly Conger [27:28]: "And yeah, Newt fails to do the actual PR that he had promised to do. And as a result, 1945 is one of the biggest flops in publishing history."
Throughout the episode, the hosts read and comment on various excerpts from 1945. They point out clichéd and awkward writing, such as overused descriptors and forced dramatic moments. Molly expresses her frustration with the writing style, particularly criticizing the character development and narrative flow.
Notable Quotes:
Molly Conger [31:09]: "Such games we have, she whispered in his ear. You play wonderfully. Now tell."
Sophie [32:48]: "You can't not do the Leroy Jenkins thing, which is just gonna be incomprehensible for anyone in our audience that's younger than their mid-30s."
The episode explores the political undertones in Gingrich's novel, drawing parallels between the fictional portrayal of Nazi Germany and real-world political dynamics. Molly suggests that Gingrich's depiction of Hitler and his strategies reflect his own political strategies aimed at gaining and maintaining power.
Notable Quote:
Molly Conger [04:10]: "I think we'd need some sort of program in place where when we find some guy who has like an artistic dream, but also weird, really right-wing politics, we just kind of like swallow our pride and fund, like have a government agency buy up copies of their books so they feel like a success."
In wrapping up the discussion, the hosts express skepticism about the success of any potential sequel to 1945. They lament the missed opportunities in the novel's narrative structure and express hope that alternate history fiction could better capture engaging and imaginative scenarios without the political baggage.
Notable Quote:
Molly Conger [48:43]: "I think the sequel is a banger. It was all apparently intended to be one book. That's too long."
The episode concludes with the hosts briefly touching on their respective projects and offering final thoughts, maintaining the episode's engaging and conversational tone.
Key Takeaways:
Overall Impression: This episode of Behind the Bastards offers a comprehensive and critical examination of Newt Gingrich's foray into alternate history fiction. Through engaging discussions and pointed critiques, the hosts illuminate the intersections between political ambition and literary endeavors, providing listeners with a nuanced understanding of Gingrich's impact both in politics and in the realm of fiction.