Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can become securely attached to ourselves: building an internal foundation that lets us connect with others, regulate our emotions, and explore the world from that secure base. They talk about how this is supposed to develop in childhood, why it doesn't for many people, and what we can actually do about it as adults. Topics include the research on early attachment, why so many of us arrive at adulthood with a strong inner critic and weak inner support, and four practical paths forward: creating a coherent narrative about your past, reparenting yourself, rescaling your sense of self in relation to others, and building self-trust through healthy exploration.

Rick’s Attachment Course: Join Rick for a 5-week online course on using the research-backed HEAL method to heal insecure attachment and create new neural pathways for interacting and connecting securely. You can learn more at RickHanson.com/attachment and get 25% off with coupon code BeingWell25.

Key Topics

0:00: Introduction

2:00: The research on becoming a “secure base”

8:17: How we internalize early sources of regulation and recognition

15:43: What happens when love is contingent

18:44: Forming a coherent narrative

29:14: Reparenting yourself

42:07: Rebuilding your sense of self

57:40: Using your secure base to explore, try, and fail

1:09:18: Recap

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Becoming Securely Attached (to yourself): Reparenting and Healing Insecure Attachment