Bellied Up Podcast: Best of Bellied Up, Volume 4
Release Date: January 1, 2026
Hosts: Myles the You Betcha Guy & Charlie Berens
Format: Bar banter & live Midwest callers (Best-of compilation)
Overview
This "Best of" volume is a quintessential sampler of Bellied Up’s charm: two beloved Midwest comedians (Charlie Berens and Myles the You Betcha Guy) take live calls from ordinary folks with truly extraordinary stories—ranging from relationship woes and worksite injuries to peculiar family traditions and dating adventures. Set against the backdrop of small-town bars, the host duo delivers guidance, empathy, and consistent laughs—often learning as much as they “help.” This episode highlights their best listener calls and off-the-cuff bits, packed with unbeatable Midwest flavor.
Key Segments & Calls
1. Tommy’s Relationship Drama at the Bar
[00:00 - 07:11]
- Premise: Local patron Tommy, “semi-retired,” joins the bar table freshly dumped during his morning golf round.
- Discussion:
- Tommy’s breakup text is dramatically read aloud, turning into comedic performance art.
- Tommy’s suggestion for his own podcast: “How Terrible I Am at Relationships.”
- Quote (Charlie, 01:04): “Is this your first time on a podcast?”
- Tommy, 01:25: “I got dumped this morning while I was golfing. She text me, ‘We’re done. Don’t talk to me ever again.’”
- Length and intensity of the breakup text thread shocks the hosts:
- Miles, 05:10: “Oh my God. It’s still going. Then we got a screenshot out of some sort… this would have been a 30-minute intro if you’d have read all that.”
- Tommy shrugs it off, says he’s back on the market: “Somebody that doesn’t break up with me when I’m golfing” is his ideal woman (06:00).
- Memorable Moment: Hilarious, real-time breakdown of breaking up by text—“at least wait till after the front nine.”
2. Becky’s Slow-Moving Husband & Midwest Home Life
[10:03 - 34:37]
- Premise: Becky, recovering from arm surgery, calls in from Fargo to complain her boyfriend won’t finish chores.
- Discussion:
- She relays a blow-by-blow of his half-effort yardwork and the honey-do list backlog; calls for advice on getting him in gear.
- Charlie & Myles role-play Midwest Dad voices as motivation (17:22):
- Charlie as Becky’s dad: “Hey, what the hell are you doing over there, huh? We got work to do over here.”
- On Midwest gender politics and slow marriage proposals:
- Becky, 14:24: “We’re not actually married.”
- Myles, 14:35: “That adds up. The guy takes forever on everything. Of course he hasn’t proposed.”
- Birthday shoutouts and singing for Becky’s mom: “Happy Birthday Helen Klein, 73!”
- Deep bar-banter on chores, zero-turn mowers, and Midwest relationship “carrot and stick” approaches.
- Notable Quote (Miles, 16:19): “The grass does keep growing, so you gotta stay on top of it.”
- Memorable Segment: Becky stepping outside on speaker to “midwest-dad” her boyfriend about weeding (“You need to move that ass a little faster,” 18:29), and his quick-witted reply.
- Other gems:
- Perennial director as a job title (“That’s such a serious title for flowers” 23:50).
- The two debate Packer fandoms and sports stock.
3. Blue Collar vs. White Collar Identity
[36:38 - 60:00]
- Premise: Brad, calling from a literal tree stump, seeks clarity on when you become “white collar” after leaving blue-collar work.
- Discussion:
- Explores limbo-land between labor gigs and office life, and the cultural Venn diagram (HR anxieties, lunch containers, and pissing in Gatorade bottles as indicators).
- Brad, 37:08: “But when you're a white-collar worker, do you know that you’re a white-collar worker?”
- Miles, 41:18: “If you get to the office and you stand around the water cooler and talk about how you didn’t do anything that weekend, I feel like you work a white-collar job.”
- Hilarious run of blue-collar/white-collar bullet points—“If your lunch comes in a cooler: blue-collar. If your lunch comes in an Uber: white-collar” ([46:31]).
- Host banter about random life hacks (escalator shoe-polishing trick, 47:21) and office kitchen failings.
- Memorable Moment:
- Hosts riffing: “If you shower at the gym before work—white collar. If you shower at the truck stop—blue collar.”
- Brad’s status as podcast “stump guy” becomes its own bit.
4. Ethan – The “Booze Cruising” IT Guy with Relationship and Landlord Woes
[60:34 - 84:38]
- Premise: Regular caller Ethan provides classic Midwest therapy—who’s openly riding out a too-long relationship cohabiting for the rent.
- Topics Untangled:
- Working “Indian scam caller” style IT—but for movie theaters (help desk, 64:29).
- Interracial and political issues in his relationship (“I think we’re just going on two separate life paths,” 65:06).
- Odes to whiskey, weed pens, and advice on pragmatic breakups for young 20-somethings sharing a house.
- Digs into family oil royalties, building a lakeside RV park, and cash-flow logic for not moving out.
- Quote (Ethan, 76:31): “We’re staying together for the rent, 2025, man. You gotta do what you gotta do.”
- Memorable Lines:
- “I want children, I’ll adopt. And I go…” (72:48)
- “As a half Asian and half white boy, all I get on dating apps is fat Mexican girls that love anime and it pisses me off.” (73:38)
- Hosts’ Advice: “If you want to get into stand-up, just turn your phone on and start ranting. Instagram Reels is your crowd work.” (82:51)
5. Chad the NASA “Rocket Scientist” (CNC Machinist)
[86:12 - 105:40]
- Premise: Chad, “Rocket City Redneck,” finally calls in after months—working on Artemis missions at NASA, does not believe in the 1969 moon landing.
- Highlights:
- Chad, 89:23: “I firmly believe we did not land on the moon in ‘69.”
- Charlie & Myles mine the conspiracy for gold; George Kittle, NFL tight end guest, jumps in, obsessed with conspiracy TikToks ([88:28]).
- Chad’s job explained: Making CNC-machined parts for Artemis moon rockets, specifically a fin to stop rocket-induced astronaut “vibrations to death.”
- Comprehensive NASA/SpaceX/Blue Origin shade; working conditions, government-private partnerships, and whose city gets credit (“Nobody knows Huntsville, Alabama is where we build everything that goes to the moon” 101:13).
- Alien inclusion: “There’s an alien in the White House right now,” (102:28).
- Chad’s dream: Be the first machinist in space.
- Memorable:
- “If you miss [the moon], you’ll land among the stars. If you miss, you’re just gonna spiral into the emptiness of space forever” (105:15).
- Wild barstool moon conspiracies and “getting the scoop” from a NASA employee.
6. Gerald’s Green Bean Casserole Sabotage Plan
[109:12 - 128:23]
- Premise: Gerald wants to get himself—and green bean casserole—banned from his Indiana family reunion.
- Plan:
- Serve a guinea pig on a bed of green bean casserole to traumatize relatives.
- “To me, green bean casserole resembles bull semen with green beans floating in it, covered with the toenails of a thousand corpses.” (110:17)
- Inspiration: Coworker’s Ecuadorian guinea pig dish at a corporate potluck.
- Weighs possible outcomes—all “win-win-win” (banned, dish banned, all banned, or it becomes family tradition and he’s stuck).
- Hosts encourage him to “Videotape it, so you guys can share in my delight” (120:07).
- Serve a guinea pig on a bed of green bean casserole to traumatize relatives.
- Memorable:
- Turns into a Midwestern “Hatfield-and-McCoy” food war; plans for “Gerald’s Pets” as faux pet store/restaurant blend.
- “The people of Ecuador are calling stolen valor on us…” (123:19).
7. Cliff’s Cautionary Family Scam Tale
[129:16 - 158:38]
- Premise: Cliff calls (a few drinks deep) to reveal how his uncle burned his marriage & money in a romantic “pig butchering” scam.
- Details:
- Uncle, lonely after marital trouble, is drawn into a “pig butchering”/catfish crypto scheme via WhatsApp.
- Sends $50,000 (then $400,000) to scammer he’s never met, believing he’s investing in gold/crypto for a woman in “Santa Barbara with a photo written in the sand” (clumsily AI-generated).
- Divorce follows, cousin loses 5-bedroom house, lands in a 1-bed single-wide.
- Cliff, 136:56: “She’s real, 100% real,” uncle insists.
- Hosts stress PSA: “Don’t text back numbers you don’t know… Even if it’s someone you actually know and you don’t respond, it’s better than getting caught” (145:03).
- Memorable Moments:
- On scam “voice cloning”/AI, Midwest dads get the call: “Yeah, you're in jail? Spend the goddamn night there. What the hell did you do, huh? Rot in there, you son of a bitch” (146:02).
8. Timmy Tangos: Kissing Moms & Cougar Confessions
[158:43 - 176:28]
- Premise: Timmy recounts drunkenly flirting (third person) with a hot 50-year-old at a Cody Johnson concert—learning after a kiss that she's married.
- Highlights:
- “No tongue—I'm married,” says the mom mid-kiss (164:11).
- Timmy confesses a dry spell, then meeting a new girl the same night—“snapped me out of it.”
- Hosts absolve him: “If that’s the worst thing you do in your life, you’re gonna have a pretty good life. You didn’t know!” (170:27)
- Timmy teases a future call: “next time it’ll be about three sisters.”
- Notable Quotes:
- “Sometimes you just want what you can’t have. And sometimes that rock [wedding ring] means that’s a chase you can’t have and you just gotta go for it” (174:55).
9. Skyler—the Finger Fairy: Losing (and Laughing About) Your Digits
[180:28 - 201:18]
- Premise: Skyler, union concrete guy of 19 years, calls in after a worksite accident cost him one-and-a-half fingers.
- Story:
- Accident with a circular saw: “I broke the number one rule. I put my fingers where I shouldn’t have put my pecker.” (183:12)
- Amputation stories escalate into jokes: “So now I can only count to nine. Well, it’s really eight and a half.”
- “Tried to keep ’em, the hospital wouldn’t let me. I told ’em, just pickle ’em for me!” (187:23)
- Quick banter on concrete crew hazing, pride in the trade, and Midwest standup comic sensibilities.
- Memorable:
- “How do you get rid of back pain? Cut off a finger, takes your mind right off it!” (199:48)
- Skyler as “the finger fairy” at a live Bellied Up show.
- Surprising Detail: Skyler’s been with his girlfriend seven years, “Just too much hassle” to get married. “If you wait any longer, you’re not going to have any fingers left for a ring.” (201:01)
10. Angela’s Rants: Golf Balls, Cool Whip Containers & Midwest Men
[207:07 - 241:16]
- Premise: Angela, on her way to the liquor shop, rails against errant golf shots into her apartment, Cool Whip container failures, and family-size shrinkage in Jello salad supplies.
- Discussion:
- Angela, 209:11: “You moved into an apartment knowing there is a golf course right there. …But you know, if you’re taking a shot on the third T and you hit my window…”
- “Went to pick up the Cool Whip, and as soon as I open it, my new Tupperware lid broke. …They're not making ’em like they used to.” (213:38)
- On Midwest men: “He’s gotta at least be 5'6”, just so he can hop up in his lifted truck, and then I want to hear his belly hit the steering wheel… and see his long bearded hair in the wind.” (218:53)
- Memorable: Angela’s blend of earnestness and bawdiness (“Let's stay missionary here, Charlie, I’m not riding a big handled hog, you know” 223:04) brings the house down.
- Ends with: Midwest mom wisdom—raise your kids ruthlessly honest, “Tell them where the bear shits in the woods,” teach them three languages, and don’t ever watch the Teletubbies.
Memorable Quotes (w/ Timestamps)
- Tommy: “Somebody that doesn’t break up with me when I’m golfing.” (06:00)
- Becky on chores: “He’s circling like a lion… still mental mapping.” (13:24)
- Ethan: “We’re staying together for the rent. 2025, man. You gotta do what you gotta do.” (76:31)
- Chad (NASA worker): “I firmly believe we did not land on the moon in '69.” (89:23)
- Gerald: “To me, green bean casserole resembles bull semen with green beans floating in it, covered with the toenails of a thousand corpses.” (110:17)
- Cliff’s story: “She’s real, 100% real,” uncle insists about scam relationship. (136:56)
- Angela on dating: “Lifted truck, lifted steering wheel, that’s all I’m asking.” (219:32)
Overall Tone & Style
- Heartfelt, unguarded, and very Midwest: friendly ribbing, authentic stories, and underlying kindness beneath the sarcasm.
- Hosts always ready to improv and gently tease—never mean-spirited.
- Socratic, “barroom psychologist” advice—insightful but always with a punchline.
- Deeply blue-collar, leaning into small town/worksite culture, but aware of modern contradictions (from Delta 8 gummies to AI romance scams).
Navigation & Time Stamps
- Tommy’s Breakup: 00:00–07:11
- Becky’s Chores & Midwest Relationships: 10:03–34:37
- White vs. Blue Collar: 36:38–60:00
- Ethan’s Rent Romance: 60:34–84:38
- Chad/Space Conspiracies: 86:12–105:40
- Gerald’s Casserole Revenge: 109:12–128:23
- Cliff’s Scam Cautionary Tale: 129:16–158:38
- Timmy Tangos (Cougar/Lipstick): 158:43–176:28
- Skyler: Finger Fairy/Concrete Life: 180:28–201:18
- Angela: Golf Balls & Cool Whip: 207:07–241:16
In Closing
This "best of" volume delivers heartfelt comedy, regional wisdom, and human moments you couldn’t script—making it a perfect primer for the Bellied Up universe. If you’ve ever been to a Midwest bar, worked with your hands, or needed a laugh after a bad day, there’s something both familiar and surprising in nearly every call.
Final Sign-Off: “Watch out for deer, tell your folks I says hi, and get yourself some proper Cool Whip containers.”