Can Anyone Do Stand-Up Comedy? #180

Summary

Bellied Up Podcast – Episode #180 Summary

Title: Can Anyone Do Stand-Up Comedy?
Hosts: Charlie Berens (Emmy-winning comedian), Myles the You Betcha Guy
Date: December 18, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of the Bellied Up podcast centers around the theme: Can anyone do stand-up comedy? Broadcasting from a small-town Quick Star, Charlie and Myles banter about Midwest life before opening up their phone lines to callers. The main highlight is a deep-dive coaching session with a listener named Simeon, who’s prepping for his first-ever stand-up routine as a birthday present for his girlfriend. The episode also features a fun debate about whether Vermont should be considered part of the Midwest, peppered with listener stories and the show's trademark comedic camaraderie.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Bar Banter and Midwest Life (00:52–11:14)

• Setting: Hosting from the Quick Star snack bar, the hosts share classic Midwest banter, discussing gas station sunglasses and deer hunting.
• Glasses Confessions:
  • Charlie explains his reasons for wearing prescription glasses, blending function (night driving, hereditary dark circles) with self-deprecating humor.
  • Quote:
    “Do we even know each other? ... usually you’re pressing on my insecurities unless you’re pulling punches, which I didn’t know you did!” – Charlie (05:09)
• Friendly Roasting: Myles and Charlie riff on the struggle with under-eye circles, aging, and who’s got the better “Vish” (vision).
• Deer Hunting Tales: Both missed this year; classic Midwest hunting stories and family land envy arise.
• Wild Game: Talk of blue jays, squirrels, and their dubious culinary value; the universal "wrap it in bacon" solution to tough meat.

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Stand-Up Comedy Coaching with Caller Simeon (18:32–50:48)

Simeon's Situation (19:13–21:12)

• Background: Recent college grad (mechanical engineer), living in Traverse City, MI, working remotely.
• Stand-Up Context: Girlfriend asked him to do a "tight 5" as a birthday present. He's never performed before and self-identifies as dry, engineering-type.
  • Quote:
    “My girlfriend's birthday ... she wants a type 5 stand up routine knowing I'll crash and burn, but it'll be entertaining.” – Simeon (20:32)

Charlie & Myles’ Stand-Up Guidance (22:43–49:04)

• Approach to First-Timer:
  • Start with one-liners or short jokes instead of storytelling—it’s easier to remember, safer if jokes bomb.
  • Roast the girlfriend–but tread carefully depending on audience.
  • Leverage personal background and quirks (tall, Polish, curly hair, “True Value Andy Samberg”, engineer/motorcycle license lingo).
    • Quote:
      “You want to think headline, punchline, headline, punchline, fact about your life, punchline.” – Charlie (23:13)
• Appearance Jokes:
  • Joke about looking like “Andy Samberg if he had a three-way with a vacuum” (27:41)
  • Dig into the resurgence of curly perms among young people for contemporary flavor.
• Family & Personal Life:
  • Lean into being the “boring good kid” (suspended from kindergarten for accidental punch, lives in parents’ basement “studio apartment”).
  • Family call-in provides material: sister Hannah roasts him for being boring/awkward, mother reminds him of his only “bad deed.”
• Merch Bit:
  • Comedic suggestion of ending the first set with "I’m so boring" T-shirts or feigning a merch table for a one-off performance.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Comedy Writing:
  “I wrote a whole story my first time... if some doesn’t work, you’re pot committed.” – Charlie (23:05)
• On Use of Personal Material:
  “The easiest jokes to make are recognition jokes.” – Charlie (25:09)
• On Self-Deprecation:
  “You can do a whole run of jokes on how you’re so boring … just write out your actual likes and I think that'll be your set.” – Charlie (49:20)
• Family Input:
  • Hannah: “I'm not sure if it would be funny because his jokes were good or because he was so awkward … laughing at him more than laughing with him.” (40:43)

Stand-Up Bullet Points for First-Timers:

• Focus on quick, punchy observations.
• Start by poking fun at how you look or what people can instantly recognize about you.
• Involve the audience if comfortable ("I’m so boring, [crowd response]").
• Tie-in current trends (e.g., perm jokes).
• Use personal anecdotes sparingly—as long as there’s a strong punchline.
• Don't be afraid to self-roast.

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Midwest vs. Vermont Segment – Should Vermont Join the Midwest? (53:18–73:58)

Call from Charlie "Conic" in Vermont (53:18–65:43)

• Self-Introductions: Two Charlies—Charlie Balcom (“Conic”) from Vermont, 20 years old, a fiber optic splicer.

• Vermont’s Case for Midwest Membership:

  • Small population, cold climate, flannel/plaid culture.
  • Cheese love (Cabot), soft serve ("creamies"), love of maple everything.
  • Most people are friendly, live simple lives, worry about fireworks tax, beer tax, and which state has cheaper liquor—very relatable to Midwest mindset.
    • Quote:
      "We both like cheese, not a lot of people… we talk about the weather a lot. It's not the heat, it's the humidity." – Conic (56:46)

• Local Lingo:

  • “Leaf peepers” for autumn tourists (67:02), “Massholes” for Massachusetts drivers, tales about New Hampshire and Quebecois neighbors.
    • “Leaf peepers—that might have just sold it right there.” – Myles (67:18)

• Funny Slice-of-Life: Tales of underage parties, field gatherings with hot dog trucks, and regional rivalries.

• Decision: After much lighthearted questioning and banter, the hosts "let Vermont into the Midwest," at least humorously for podcast purposes.

  • “Congratulations... We should do a graphic of the states we’ve said yes to letting in the Midwest.” – Myles (73:09)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (w/ Timestamps)

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote/Moment | |-----------|---------|--------------| | 05:09 | Charlie | “Do we even know each other? … usually you’re pressing on my insecurities unless you’re pulling punches, which I didn’t know you did!” | | 23:13 | Charlie | “You want to think headline, punchline, headline, punchline, fact about your life, punchline.” | | 25:06 | Charlie | “So your story though is they had you playing high functioning special needs child and you were good at it?” | | 27:41 | Charlie | “Andy Samberg and Will Ferrell had a threesome with a vacuum. Something like that.” | | 40:43 | Hannah | “I'm not sure if it would be funny because his jokes were good or because he was so awkward … laughing at him more than laughing with him.” | | 49:20 | Charlie | “You can do a whole run of jokes on how you’re so boring... just write out your actual likes and I think that'll be your set.” | | 56:46 | Conic | “We both like cheese, not a lot of people… we talk about the weather a lot. It's not the heat, it's the humidity.” | | 67:02 | Conic | “The leaf peepers? … They go, ‘oh my God, look at the pretty colors...’ let me stop on the freaking side of the highway and take pictures.” | | 73:09 | Myles | “Congratulations… We should do a graphic of the states we’ve said yes to letting in the Midwest.” |

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Timestamps of Major Segments

• Gas station/snack bar banter: 00:52–11:14
• Listener stand-up comedy advice (Simeon): 18:32–50:48
  • Stand-up prep: 19:13–23:13
  • Writing process: 22:43–23:45
  • Working material live: 23:48–49:44
• Vermont/Midwest call-in segment: 53:18–73:58

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Episode Tone & Style

• Casual, self-deprecating Midwest humor throughout, heavy on playful roasting between hosts.
• Discussions blend practical advice (comedy, hunting, wild game) with offbeat digressions and inside jokes.
• Inclusive and encouraging: The stand-up coaching is accessible and welcoming, especially for newcomers.
• Interactive: Involving caller’s family and even children creates a laid-back, communal bar atmosphere.

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Conclusion

Episode #180 is a classic example of Bellied Up’s small-town, big-laughs ethos. Between deep dives into everyday curiosities (vision, sunglasses, squirrels), real-time comedy coaching for an actual would-be comedian, and a delightfully pointless regional admission hearing, Charlie and Myles illustrate “anyone can try stand-up”—as long as you can laugh at yourself along the way.

Best for:

• First-time stand-up comedians seeking practical (if unorthodox) advice
• Midwest transplants and lifers alike
• Anyone who loves a good-natured barroom riff between friends

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Want your problem solved, a joke written, or your state inducted into the Midwest? Belly up and call in. As they say, "Tip your bartender, close your gas cap, and we'll see you on the next one."

Transcript

[A]

All right, guys, before we get into the episode, we want you guys to call into the bellied up hotline and leave a voicemail for us. The phone number is 218-303-5095. We are looking for the answer to this question. If you were the mayor of your town for one day, what would you change? What would you do? You know, you've heard of first 100 days with the president. What's your first 24 hours as mayor of your town? We want to know what you would do. The Phone number is 218-303-5095. Joy the show. Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. We are here at the Quick Star. Charlie and I are bellied up to the snack. The snack bar here. And we are chilling.

[B]

We are really chilling. We're chilly. I'll tell you this about quickstar. Before they officially turn the lights on in here and let the public in.

[A]

It'S a little chilly because there's people coming in and out, stocking shelves, stocking the beer cooler.

[B]

You know, there's an energy in here. It's alive.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. They just. The Igogs, guys here. I don't know if you like gas station sunglasses or not, Charlie, but I got.

[B]

Is the pinnacle of gas station sunnies. I used to have a few different pairs of eye gogs, and when I was a kid growing up, you know, because they were. They were affordable but cool. You know what I'm saying? Like, you see someone at the pool with some gogs, some eye gogs, you respect that, you know, they're respectable sunglasses, you know, like blue blockers. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

[B]

What's your. What, what. What kind of sunglass guy were you growing up as a kid? Miles.

[A]

I never. I never have fallen into the trap of buying really expensive sunglasses.

[B]

What are these? What are these, sunnies?

[A]

Those are knockarounds.

[B]

Knockarounds, which.

[A]

Those might be 40 bucks or so. I float in the medium range. I'm not spending 10 bucks, but I'm not spending $200 on a pair of Oakley sunglasses, you know?

[B]

Ye. Traditionally, I've been in the same category. However, I had to get the dip into the prescription sunnies, and then that gets a little more spendy.

[A]

So you wear those. Are those glasses have prescription in them?

[B]

Yeah. You think I'm just.

[A]

Come on, dude. People ask me before, they're like, so does Charlie like those glasses he wears? Is he neat glasses? And I was like, I think he just likes the way glasses look on him. And I don't. I gun to my head. I thought you were just wearing them for fashion.

[B]

You.

[A]

I thought you just wore glasses all the time because you're just like, I like the way I look in class.

[B]

Do we even know each other? Like, are you kidding me? I got the same miles. Are you shitting me? Really? You guys.

[A]

Do you guys think that Charlie wears these because he needs them or because he just likes the way they look?

[B]

Yeah, I thought it was you guys all. How many people out there are thinking I'm wearing glasses for a look? Do I give that vibe? Like, the fact that I can, like, keep track of these glasses is a miracle. Really? What? They're four miles. Sometimes I like, at first I thought.

[A]

You were just, like, doing it to, like, be hip. Like, I thought it was a phase. And then you just kept wearing them, and I'm like, oh, he just likes the way he looks.

[B]

Okay, okay, well, now I'm questioning you.

[A]

Because if I. I could have swore that, like, one of your employees just had a pa like blue light blocking glasses laying around.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Put them on once as a joke. I like these. And then you just. You just wear them all the time is what I thought was going on.

[B]

Okay. No, but now I'm questioning you as. As like a friend. Like, if I. If you were wearing that on me.

[A]

Because everyone here thought that you wore them for fast.

[B]

But you are the friend that roasts me if I'm doing something silly. Like, you're the friend that would let me know I'm doing something silly, and that would be a silly thing. You're not. You. And you're just not going to roast me about? What other stuff do you want me.

[A]

To be completely honest? You want me to be completely honest?

[B]

Dude, that's. You're the kind of friend.

[A]

Okay, I'll be completely honest with you. I thought that. So you. You. You're worried about that? You look tired a lot.

[B]

Yeah. The dark under eyes.

[A]

And I thought that you just wore them a lot to just hide the fact that it looks like you haven't slept in a week.

[B]

That is true.

[A]

Okay, that's true.

[B]

That's an accurate thing. And also you want me to think I haven't slept in a week.

[A]

I don't know. I can't tell. You got the glasses.

[B]

Guys, how long. How long since I last slept? No glasses. I look fine. Jesus. This is the. Oh, I look good. But fine came first, guys. It's a hereditary.

[A]

Do you see why this is a touchy subject for you. So this is the reason you're saying why wasn't I giving you crap for it is because I thought it was an insecurity of yours that I didn't want to press on. Well, because I am a good friend.

[B]

Yeah, but usually you're pressing on my insecurities. Usually. Unless you're pulling punches, which I don't know that I know that side of you, Miles. You know, but maybe. Maybe I'm worse than I think and you're pulling a bunch of punches.

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

No.

[B]

So let me go in the glasses. I have a soft prescription. It's not like a. It's not.

[D]

No.

[B]

You guys put these on. You can tell it's a prescript. Yeah, you can tell it's a prescription. Put them on.

[A]

Dirty doll. Hell. But there is a prescription.

[B]

Yeah, there's a prescription on there. Very dirty. And that the reason they're dirty is.

[A]

Goes back to the Charlie Barrons.

[B]

No, I'm not dirty. I put facial moisturizer on my face to try and. To try and, you know, combat the sleep, you know, so I'm. I'm. But I'm not dirty.

[A]

I mean, it's not a lot of prescription, for sure.

[C]

No.

[B]

But when you're driving at night, I.

[A]

Mean, those are just cheaters.

[B]

Driving at night, Miles, you want to have these because otherwise, you know, you know, lights just get heavy and. And the lights blend together. You put these on. Sometimes if I'm driving long distance and I don't have these, I'll wear my prescription sunglasses because it'll be sharper then. So anyways, that's me. But, yes, I do definitely do it to hide. It distracts from the. The dark circles. So it's a nice little cheat.

[A]

And is it because you don't get much sleep, or is this maybe a good point?

[B]

Let's hash it all out.

[A]

You.

[B]

Let's just get it out there.

[A]

I didn't want to talk about it, but you made me.

[B]

No, let's do it. I'm very comfortable talking about this. What's your questions? I'll answer all your questions about my.

[A]

Do you think. Is it just a DNA thing that you're. You have. You tend to have slightly darker circles underneath your eyes. Or is it because you haven't slept in a week?

[B]

If you look at my family. If you look at my family, you can see pretty quickly this is a hereditary thing.

[A]

There we go.

[B]

But also on top of that, there are periods where I don't sleep as well as I Should.

[A]

But it's double whammy.

[B]

It's a double whammy. Yeah. But I do have just thinner under eyes, you know, which is.

[A]

But, you know, is that the technical term? You have thin under eyes?

[B]

Yeah, the skin is a little thinner under my eyes. You'll understand in 10 years when you're my age, Miles.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

And you're not. What are you, 32?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're 33.

[A]

I'm 32. 33 in March. And when is my birthday?

[B]

Your birthday is March 22nd. Let's go. Yes. That's what's up, baby. I got memories.

[A]

The memory retention of one hour.

[B]

One hour. But, yeah, so I got. I got the thin under eyes going. But also, it's so nice watching a movie when it's nice and crisp. You know you want that. So these are.

[A]

I mean, I guess I just do that naturally. I don't need the.

[B]

You don't need glasses, do you? Got 2020 Vish.

[A]

2013.

[B]

Shut up. Oh, 2013. That's not great.

[A]

That's better than. That's better than perfect.

[B]

I thought 2020 was perfect.

[A]

I know, and it's better than perfect.

[B]

No, I can do simple numbers, miles. 13 is less than 20.

[A]

Yeah, it goes down. So the higher numbers. Bad. It's like golf that way.

[B]

Eyes are just like 2020.

[A]

If you had 2040 vision. If you had 2040 vision, that would be bad.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you got great eyes.

[A]

Great eyes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You can read to me. What is that?

[A]

Is this what we're doing?

[B]

What?

[A]

This is what we're doing.

[B]

What is that sign?

[A]

This is what we're doing, Miles.

[B]

No, what does that sign say? What are those four letters right there?

[A]

K, Go.

[B]

K, go. That's what I'm talking about. I can read that without my glasses. Yeah, because we are going on a new podcast here, ladies and gentlemen, Bellying up with my buddy Miles. And it's going to be fun. Hey, Miles, you gonna go out deer hunting this year?

[A]

It's like 2026.

[B]

This isn't.

[A]

This come out, like, middle December.

[B]

Yeah, middle December. Well, what date? When does your deer season end here? Gonna do muzzle.

[A]

I missed my chance. I didn't get a deer. And if you guys want to hear about my whole depressing story, go listen to You Bet your radio episode. What, Jared? 352. I share my whole story. If I. If I talk about it right now, it'll kill the whole mood, and I won't be able to do anything the Rest of the day.

[B]

But deer season's not done, is it? You can go out again.

[A]

Yeah, but I don't have any. I don't have anywhere to go. We get. We. We lucky enough. Family, friends that allow us to go hunt in their land opening weekend.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

And I could go do the public route, but I got a kid.

[B]

Fair enough. Fair enough, Miles. That's fine. That's fine.

[A]

Did you get a deer?

[B]

No, but I. I might go again because I.

[A]

Because you have property.

[B]

I got myself a little. A little. Few acres.

[A]

I say it like that because I'm jealous, not because I'm mocking it.

[B]

Well, you just sounded mocking.

[A]

I know, but that's my way of coping. My way.

[B]

We gotta get you out there. You haven't come out. Why don't you come out and go deer hunting with me? We'll go. I got an extra bow. Okay. Yeah, let's go bow hunting and gun season.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Bow hunting, gun season with my buddy Miles. We could write a song. Anyways, Miles.

[C]

What?

[B]

Question. Shit, I got all these questions.

[A]

Question?

[B]

Yeah, I found.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

What question should I ask you, Miles?

[B]

Where am I most qualified to give advice?

[A]

Where are you? Yeah, stand up comedy, for sure.

[B]

That's good you asked me one.

[A]

But. But if I had to say one thing. You're most qualified, you would probably want to be stand up.

[B]

I would hope. It's the thing that my entire bank account depends on. Yeah, I would hope. I would hope it's not, you know, collecting birds.

[D]

Birds.

[A]

Yeah, If I'm. How many times have I texted you and said bird of the.

[B]

What is it? You texted me and I told you.

[A]

For advice on that.

[B]

I told you. Do you ever. Do you ever look at a bird from a far away. Far enough away distance so you can see it just acting in its own way without knowing your presence? Miles. Yeah, some beautiful.

[A]

I did that in the woods when I was deer hunting. Yeah, I have a lot of blue jays in those woods.

[B]

Oh, mean little bastards.

[A]

They're loud too.

[B]

What kind of squirrels?

[A]

I was falling asleep. They just woke me right up. Nature's alarm clock. Or blue. Blue jays.

[B]

Yeah, sure are. Yeah, sure are. You see anything else cool in the woods?

[A]

There's actually a couple of baby squirrels running around.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

So I don't know what happened. I had one main squirrel previous years. And I don't know if. If the mom died in childbirth or what, but there's two baby squirrels but no mom. I didn't see the mom around, so. Circle of life it is. Circle of life.

[B]

Do you ever eat squirrel, Miles?

[A]

I've never eaten squirrel. I'd like to try it once. You know, I've eaten squirrel.

[B]

I've been squirrel. Tough meat or tender or, you know, squirrels kind of. I like it personally. You know, cleaning a squirrel is not. Is not a very hard thing to do.

[A]

And it's rip the skin off and.

[B]

Yeah. And then. And then, you know, you gut it and you can roast it. You can kind of roast them right over the. It's a whole other story. The, the situation is like any sort of wild game meat. You can always tell, like, how good it is naturally. If people just say, oh, it's great, or they like, well, here's how you do it. You know, like if there's a big process involved in it, you can tell like they're. They're hiding something, you know.

[A]

Well, that's like, you know, you could tell when a meat's not that great when they say that. You just got to know how to cook it right.

[B]

That's exactly. That's exactly.

[A]

Pheasants. A little bit like that. Like, pheasants good. But you, like. It can get real dry, you know. Yeah, Always like, you got to just cook it right.

[B]

My dad, every Christmas, he makes pheasant poppers, you know, which is, you know, pheasant wrapped in, you know, she's cream cheese and jalapenos. Jalapenos. And he wraps it all in bacon.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, anything you got to wrap all in bacon.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Well, I'm sorry you missed your dear. You did tell me about that. I'm sorry to bring it up, but it's okay.

[A]

All right, guys, time to play some prize picks this week. And right now, prize picks will give you $50 in lineups when you play your first $5 lineup win or you're getting 50 bucks in lineups. Use promo code bellied up when you sign up today. And right now, price picks has a max discount to start your holidays. Anthony Joshua, the guy boxing Jake Paul this weekend, he just needs to land one punch to catch his projection. His Friday night fight against Jake Paul. And it's actually great that we bring that up. That. That's actually my pick for the week.

[B]

Jared.

[A]

So bright. Yeah, my. I just. I don't know, it just feel like I'm being drawn to that line. And so I'm going to pick Anthony Joshua. More than one punch. Landed more than half a punch.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's. You know, a lot of people call them locks. I call this one a knockout. This is a knockout pick for this week. So if you guys. You guys should roll with that. Charlie, what do you got?

[B]

Hello, Miles.

[C]

This week I'm going Romeo dobbs More.

[B]

Than 35 and a half receiving yards.

[C]

Because we were playing the Bears, and even though it is at Soldier Field, it is the Bears, so we should be good.

[A]

That was great, Charlie. Not quite as much of a lock as. As a knockout as it as mine was, but, guys, we're having fun playing prize picks this NFL season, honestly. All seasons, Whether it's NFL season, whether it's spring season, whether it's road construction season, we're playing prize picks. We love it. So you sign up today, use promo code.

[B]

Bellied up. Anyways, I'm excited, man. For another episode of the Bellied up.

[A]

Podcast, we have a confession.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Before we move on from the podcast.

[B]

Confession. Wow, I'm getting nervous.

[A]

You should be nervous. It's. We've now. This is the second podcast we've done here at quickstar, and I noticed it early on and I was gonna mention it, but then stuff just kept getting in the way or I would forget to mention it, but you have something in your teeth.

[B]

Really? Yeah. Can you get it?

[A]

That's right.

[C]

Get it.

[B]

Oh, God. Did you get it?

[A]

I don't have any fingernails. It's like a. Is it. You have a poppy seed muffin this morning.

[B]

Did you add oatmeal?

[A]

You're going to need to get it. I don't have any fingernails.

[B]

Did you guys notice I had some in my teeth today?

[A]

Don't lie. Don't lie. We all saw it. It's gigantic. No, I saw it early and I just was like, okay, I can't derail the podcast to get something out of his tooth.

[B]

Massive.

[C]

I know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was too busy looking at his eyes. Yeah, you get it? It's really in there. Did you brush your teeth this morning? Is that from last night? You didn't brush your teeth this morning and I just touched it.

[B]

I did. I did brush my teeth, but that's from.

[A]

Still in there. You got it.

[B]

No, I had oatmeal. Miles. I had oatmeal.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And the oatmeal that they served me because I was fancy, I went out for breakfast because I don't live here far and you didn't invite me over for breakfast, so. But they put chia seeds.

[A]

Showed up late.

[B]

Still showed up late. Yeah. I had to buy my own breakfast, obviously, but, yeah, they put chia seeds, and you're talking about chia seeds.

[A]

Chia Seeds are nice.

[D]

Yeah, that.

[B]

You put a little chia seeds in it, it makes the whole thing.

[A]

Yeah, we're like, to the age now. We have to start thinking about bowel movements on a regular basis.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Just helps everything move nice and smooth. Yeah, I just had to get that off my chest. And get that out of your teeth. So to get that out of your teeth before I can move.

[B]

Well, I had to get it on my teeth, and it was a tough one. That says water swisher right there is what I should have done. Took a little swig of water.

[A]

I'm sorry I didn't say it earlier.

[B]

No, it's fine. I'm glad you said it. I mean, that's. You know, it took you a year and a half to talk about these glasses.

[A]

My God, I just thought you were just worried about the eye thing.

[B]

That's funny. I mean, it is. That's definitely why I wear them in certain situations. Like, I don't. Yeah, we're back at the glass. How do we get back at the glass? Attention deficit disorder. That's what we should really call this podcast. Should we take some callers, Miles?

[A]

Let's do it.

[D]

Let's do it.

[B]

What's up, Simeon? It's me, Charlie, and it's got Miles here who thinks your name's Simon.

[C]

Ooh, common misconception. It's a. It's a tricky name. But no, you got it right, Simeon.

[B]

See, Miles, you're just a basic bitch, you know, Charlie. Simeon, what's on your mind, man?

[C]

Well, I'm calling in for some comedy advice here, actually.

[A]

Oh, we just were talking about this, Charlie. What is one thing or what is Charlie qualified to give advice on? And I said, stand up comedy, and I couldn't think of anything else. And who know that that would pay off so quickly?

[B]

I mean, it's almost like we planned this, but we didn't. We didn't. All right, so, Simeon, give me. Give me the lay of the land, dude. Where you at in life? Where are you living? What you hauling?

[C]

Well, I just graduated from college in May of last year. I'm up in Traverse City, Michigan, and I'm. I'm working remote. So I'm just at the house right now.

[B]

And what channel did you switch to?

[A]

Hey, are you sure you want advice? Stand up comedy advice from this guy? After that?

[C]

A little bit, yeah.

[B]

You should question Simeon. All right, I like it. I like it, man. And where'd you. Where'd you go to school?

[C]

Taylor University.

[A]

That sounds made up.

[C]

No.

[A]

Is this an Online thing?

[C]

No, no, it's. It's in Upland, Indiana. Real, real small, but it's good. It's cool. Got. Got a real degree.

[B]

Nice. And what?

[C]

Mechanical engineering.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Are you sure you want to be a stand up guy?

[C]

I definitely don't want to. It's just one stand up routine I need to get just like.

[A]

Did you lose in fantasy football?

[C]

No. So it's actually, it's. It's weird. It's not like regular stand up. It's my girlfriend's birthday. She, like, was joking around and she's like, you know what? I want to hear you do like a type 5 stand up routine for my birthday and like, knowing I'll crash and burn, but it'll be entertaining.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You. This is gonna test your ability here, Charlie. We have a mechanical engineer who's going to try and be funny. So this is an uphill battle for you.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Damn, you are. This is gonna be the ultimate alchemy test.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can you take an ordinary rock and turn it.

[B]

Simeon?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What am I working with, dude? You seem like you got a personality. You seem like you can have some stage presence.

[C]

I'm an ordinary rock, according to Miles, but I think that's a fair assumption. I'm a mechanical engineer. I do electrical work now, which is even more dry.

[B]

Hopefully it's dry.

[A]

Well, okay.

[C]

Actually, yeah, go ahead. I think that, like, my bar for comedy is pretty low. Somebody actually told me that remote joke last week. I thought it was hilarious. I told a bunch of people that.

[B]

Joke about working the remote, like clicker.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Because.

[A]

Because I was kind of given Charlie shit.

[D]

That.

[A]

That's a bad joke.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Saying that's peak comedy. We are really on uphill battle here, Charlie.

[C]

Yeah, I was in my bar for comedy is pretty low.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, you've confirmed that for sure. All right, so that's the way you. You got anything working? You got any. Anything written down yet? Or are you just going. You're just going hot 5 cold here?

[C]

I will. I've, like, thought about it a little bit. Nothing written down.

[B]

Could start storing.

[D]

Good.

[C]

Good idea to come up with a funny story and tell that.

[B]

Now. You're not going to want to do that. You're good. No, you're going to want to do one liners, man. You want your. You want your hot five, because then if some doesn't work, like, you're not pot committed to it. First time I did stand up, I wrote a whole story, like with howevers and all that stuff written in and commas and whatnot. Oh, it's awful. It's awful because then you can't memorize. It's hard to memorize it. You want to think headline, punchline, headline, punchline, fact about your life, punchline.

[A]

And you got a perfect example here. It's your. You said it's your girlfriend or your wife's birthday?

[C]

Girlfriend's.

[A]

Yeah, girlfriend's birthday. You just get up there and you roast her for five minutes.

[B]

That's not a bad idea. It just depends if you want to be in this relationship long term.

[C]

I think that could be a good idea. That just, I think requires me to be more funny. Maybe to make that work. If I've got a funny story, I don't have to memorize anything. It's a true story. I just tell it.

[B]

All right, well, let's hear the story.

[C]

Okay. I don't have all the timing and jokes work out, but it's just in high school I did a play actually, and I didn't realize it till later, but they had me playing like a high functioning, like, child. Like a, you know, very nerdy type person. And yeah, I did that and a lot of similarities to my own life. Just kind of realized I was basically playing myself, which ended up being funny.

[B]

So you're a high functioning child?

[A]

No, no, no. It's just, I think that's like kind of just being an adult.

[C]

That's a good way to put that. No, no, it was like a high functioning special needs child.

[B]

I knew he was.

[A]

So that's. That's better. They go with that. That's funny.

[C]

Yeah, I, I thought that was pretty good.

[A]

And yeah, you could even throw in like a touch of the TISM joke, you know? Yeah. You're not full, you're. You're not full spectrum.

[C]

Little Shane Gillis like nicked me.

[A]

Grazed.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What, what you can, what you. So your, your story though is they had you playing high functioning special needs child and you were good at it?

[C]

Yeah, there were a lot of similarities between my life already.

[B]

I mean, I mean, do you have some kind of, I guess, superpower?

[C]

I do not, no. But, you know, I didn't have to buy any new clothes. Already had pretty good ones picked out. I remember asking like the theater director dude, like, you know, should I like, slick my hair back or something, like real nerdy? And he was just like, no, you know, I, I think it's fine what we're working with.

[A]

Like, you are perfect. And make sure you wear those Velcro shoes for the play.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

So, all right, what was the name of the play?

[C]

Gifted.

[B]

Gifted. Okay. There's something to work with there. Before we get into the play that could be kind of a down. First thing you want to do is stand up. Is like, people are. The easiest jokes to make are kind of recognition jokes, you know? So, like, what, are they going to recognize you up there on stage first? You physically there. What do you look like?

[C]

About 6 foot 2, brown eyes or brown hair? I mean, I don't know. I. I'm. I'm. I'm polish.

[B]

You're polish? Good. Okay. Six foot two, polish guy. So you can do a polish joke in there. But six foot two. Are you a good looking guy? Are you like an average looking guy?

[C]

I'd say average to good looking. You know, pretty good.

[B]

Okay. Okay. Do you. Do you look like any celebrities?

[C]

I look very much like Andy Samberg, actually.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[C]

He's almost my photo for a while at school, but he was what? Almost my, like, ID photo at school, like, is pretty spot on, actually.

[B]

Okay, nice, Nice. Okay, so you look like. So you could say, you know, an easy one is like, you know, true value, Andy Samberg or something. But you almost want to get more specific with it. Like if you look like. And do you look like anybody else or what, what differentiates you from looking like Andy Samberg?

[C]

I feel like it's a stretch, but we could go like somewhere between Will Ferrell and Andy Samberg.

[B]

Okay, so you, You.

[A]

You got curly hair is what you're saying.

[C]

Yes, that is exactly what I was saying.

[B]

Yeah, Got it. Got it. Okay.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

That's a good idea.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Kind of like doing it. Doing a joke. Like a joke about your appearance off the top, but it's gotta be somewhat sel. So like, Andy Samberg like, like had a threesome with a vacuum or something. You know, Andy Samberg and Will Ferrell had a threesome with a vacuum. Something like that, you know.

[A]

Sucks or what?

[B]

Well, no, just his hair. If his hair is like a little bit more, you know, so you find the thing that's different from Andy Samberg, and then you make a joke about that.

[A]

What you should do is you should say that you're pissed about the fact that all these kids are getting perms now again.

[B]

Are they?

[A]

Yeah, the young kids are perming their hair. My. My cousin who's in high school, he showed up to deer camp with a perm.

[B]

Shut the front door, dude.

[A]

And then you could just be like, you know, I've been rocking this my whole life. You can't just come in with this stolen valor and have the curly hair, you know, something like that.

[B]

That's good because then you could bridge it, right? From joke about what you look like to what's going on today. And then you could do a joke or two about the. About the perm situation.

[A]

Do you like that idea?

[B]

I mean, I like that I didn't know you.

[A]

I'm just. I'm bringing a lot more heat than you are right now, Charlie, and I need you to step up. Well, you're supposed to be. The one thing you got advice for, you're bringing.

[B]

I didn't.

[A]

You said you should get up there and say I'm the true value. Andy Samberg.

[B]

No, I said that would be a bad example of that. I said that that would be. That would be what? Andy Sandberg and Will Ferrell, like, had a three with a vacuum or something like that. There's something in there, you know. You know what? This is not my roast, Miles. I'm trying to help this guy out and sometimes we're just spitballing ideas. You can't, like.

[A]

You're right. We are in the spitballing phase.

[B]

You can't be like, you know, putting a little cap over my creativity fire right now.

[A]

You're right.

[B]

That is my. Gotta allow the oxygen to flow, Miles, and allow it to flow. All right, all right. Geez. Where's your girlfriend from?

[C]

Cincinnati, actually.

[B]

Oh, okay. Nice. You could do something like, I took my girlfriend down to Cincinnati. I said, you want to have a three way? It's chilly, Miles. Chilly.

[C]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

Have you ever had three way in Cincinnati?

[C]

They're actually. Yeah, they're pretty good.

[B]

See, Miles?

[D]

Skyline.

[A]

Skyline shows.

[D]

Good.

[A]

That was good.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, so we got a three way joke in there. All right. What does your girlfriend do for a living?

[C]

She's got one semester left at college. She's a PR major and she's going pre law.

[B]

She's a pre PR major and she's going pre law.

[C]

Yeah. Correct.

[B]

What kind of lawyer does she want to be?

[C]

She's kind of interested in like IJM International justice mission. So it's like, you know, getting after slave slavery in like other countries and stuff.

[B]

Wow.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah, it's pretty wild.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you're just a civil engineer.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

A mechanical engineer.

[C]

Mechanical.

[A]

That is better, right? Mechanical is better than civil engineer.

[B]

Right?

[C]

Yeah, I agree.

[A]

It's basically those that couldn't hack it in the mechanical engineering world, they become civil engineers. Is that what happens?

[C]

What was that? Sorry.

[A]

If you can't hack it in the mechanical. You go civil or what?

[C]

I'd say that's pretty accurate. Yeah, it's. I think it's easier to get a civil job. You know, you always need, you always need that. You know, there's always jobs opening.

[D]

So.

[B]

And with this, how many people are gonna be in this audience?

[C]

I have no idea. Yeah, I don't know. There's one comedy club in town.

[B]

Oh, shit. You're actually going to a comedy club? This is just. You guys are, are holding a party?

[C]

Well, no, originally she wanted me to go and do it for her and her family. Small family, just parents, a brother and sister in law and just, just them and. I don't know, I got a friend who goes to a comedy club in town. I can do that and it might be entertaining. You know, it would suck for me. I feel like, you know, most likely it just bombs. But.

[B]

Yeah, you go to an open night. First of all, I gotta just say something. Cause this is on the top of my dome. Miles, I've seen two people leave this same gas thing while we've been sitting here, and they haven't shut their gas tank. Two people, same deal. And they haven't shut the gas. It's just open. Like look at 10 and 12 right there. Dude, if another person goes to those and doesn't close their tank, I'm shutting this whole quick start down. It's cursed. It's crazy. Sorry. I know this.

[A]

They're not even open. Can they even fill up with gas?

[B]

Are people filling with. Oh, so that's why.

[A]

So they're going to a different pump. Okay.

[B]

Oh, that's hilarious.

[A]

Oh, wait, that's a great sign though. You guys aren't even open yet. You got people trying to give you their money. That's. That's nice. Okay, well, can you.

[B]

You guys, someone should get a sign out there saying close your caps, you know, I mean, I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but, you know. All right, well, anyway, sorry, Simeon, we got derailed here. All right. Oh, God. And you're going to a comedy club. You're so screwed, man. No, I'm kidding. The nice thing with open mic, you go there, you put your name on, you get three minutes. So you, you want to have you all one liners because you're going three minutes or five minutes and then, because if you're doing a comedy club, you're gonna have a general audience there. So I don't know if you can roast your girlfriend as much, but I don't know yet.

[C]

The big comedy club.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, you could just start off, right off the bat, be like, all right, guys, I'm up here. It's my girlfriend's birthday today, and this is what she wanted for her birthday. So I am just going to endure this five minutes of torture up here so I can enjoy 15 seconds later.

[B]

There it is. There it is. Miles. Boom.

[A]

You know, that's how you started off, right there.

[B]

I like that. Do you see what he did there, Simeon?

[C]

I. No, I see it. I see it.

[B]

Where is the name Simeon from? What kind of. Is that, Polish?

[C]

Biblical, actually. You, too, should.

[A]

I was wondering. No, I was wondering, that. Is your brother's name Gideon as well?

[C]

No. No, it is not all biblical names, though.

[B]

Biblical names. So you gotta do a joke about your name. You know? What's the best joke you've ever heard someone say about your name? Steal it.

[C]

Okay, I'll start thinking. I can't remember any. I just hear weird pronunciations.

[B]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

You could play a game of Simeon says up there. You could do a bit. You could do a joke about how it used to be, you know, back. Back in Jesus's time, you know, Used to be, Simeon says, and then Simon came along and stole it from you.

[C]

Right underneath, doing everything for me. They stole the perms and now this.

[B]

We're building it. We're building it. Also, of all the names in the Bible, you got Simeon.

[C]

I know, I know.

[B]

God, that's.

[A]

You could talk about that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Did your.

[A]

Your parents could have went with Matthew. They kind of went with Mark. They could have went with Luke at.

[C]

Like, restaurants and stuff. It's just simpler.

[B]

Just say John.

[C]

Yeah, it's my middle name.

[B]

Simeon's a name that's so hard to pronounce. You have to create an alias.

[C]

It's pretty bad. I'd say. I'm like. Every time they ask me to respell it once or twice, and then, you know, who knows what they're gonna say when they go to call the name.

[B]

How do you spell it?

[C]

S, I, M, E, O, N. Simeon. Simeon. Sometimes I get Simone. People say that.

[B]

Simone.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Simon.

[A]

What are we doing?

[B]

What are we.

[A]

What are we doing?

[B]

I'm riffing. I'm riffing.

[A]

What are we doing here?

[B]

I'm riffing.

[A]

What are we doing?

[B]

I'm. I'm honestly. I'm keeping an eye out to make sure nobody know.

[A]

I need you. I need you back here with me, back in the store.

[B]

All right. Sorry, sorry.

[A]

What are we doing?

[B]

I mean, he's got, like, three minutes now. Well, you can't build it more.

[C]

Yeah, Simeon, it's solid.

[B]

Tell me some other fact about your salary.

[C]

A lot of hobbies I picked up. Motorcycle endorsement. Scuba.

[B]

Motorcycle.

[A]

Motorcycle endorsement. Hobby.

[C]

Well, like, I'm getting into riding motorcycles, but.

[B]

Well, why don't you say it like that? Why don't you just say that?

[A]

What's a motorcycle engineer way to say I ride motorcycles?

[C]

All right, all right. Fair. Fair. That's what they call it. You got to get your endorsement before you can get one.

[B]

No, you don't.

[A]

What do you mean? What is that?

[B]

I gave my motorcycle license.

[C]

What? In Michigan, they called an endorsement. You get your little endorsement added to your license, and then you can ride.

[A]

Got it. So you don't have a separate license. You just have an endorsement on your current license.

[B]

They have that same thing in Wisconsin, dude. But nobody's going around saying it's an endorsement. They just say, I gotta get my motorcycle license.

[C]

Yeah, it's definitely, you know, not the best way to say it. Kind of goes, you know, back to.

[B]

Why you were a great pick for that play.

[C]

That is exactly what I was thinking.

[A]

And he's back.

[B]

I'm worried about the health of the people at this.

[A]

Someone's gonna blow up your circus, not your monkey.

[B]

Not my monkey. Not my circus. Okay. All right, Samia, give me, Give me. What's the wildest thing that ever happened to you?

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Say that. Say the thing you're debating not saying right now. Say that.

[C]

Oh, not debating anything, actually. I didn't know there'd be a pop quiz. Been a pretty normal life.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, the guy's name's Simeon. He's a mechanical engineer, and he says motorcycle endorsement is happening to him.

[C]

I've got a motorcycle, though, so it evens it out.

[B]

You're kind of a dork. A little bit.

[C]

Yeah. A little bit. But I feel like I have cool hobbies, so it's, like, confusing, I think.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And you said scuba diving, too?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I scuba a lot.

[B]

Did you get your scuba diving endorsement?

[C]

No, I can't remember what it's called, but it's another. Yeah, it's not a license. I don't know.

[B]

Certification.

[C]

That's it. That would be it. That's the one there.

[B]

You got it. That's great. Okay, so. So in order to, like, make your life more exciting, you get these exciting hobbies.

[C]

I. Yeah, you know, it's. I'd go crazy just doing the engineering all day. So you just do that and then you go out and dive on the Great Lakes or something like that, you.

[B]

Know, that's intense too. You ever see any shipwrecks?

[C]

Yeah, there's a. There's a bunch of shipwrecks in the area I've gone to, but. But yeah, it gets cold quick. Like we're gonna do an ice dive this winter and so.

[D]

Yeah, I don't know.

[C]

It's fun.

[B]

An ice dive. That's crazy. Can you even find it when you're down there?

[C]

Find it?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, find it. Is that what you said?

[B]

Yeah, Find it.

[C]

Yeah, no, it's actually. It's clear in the. In the winter. All the, like, algae is gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

So that's not what I'm talking about finding. I mean, an ice dive. It's cold.

[C]

Well, yeah, yeah, the. Is a wreck near here and it's like.

[B]

Is erect a wreck. So there could be some scuba diving jokes in here. I'm feeling that out, you know. Simeon.

[C]

Sorry.

[B]

Where'd you go?

[C]

My sister came by. She was hearing you guys talk.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Get your sister on the phone.

[D]

Say hi. Hi.

[C]

Hi.

[B]

What's your name?

[D]

Hannah.

[B]

Hannah, how's it going?

[C]

Good.

[B]

Hannah, what's the weirdest thing your brother's ever done?

[E]

Noly, what do you think if he.

[B]

Was an ice cream, there another person there?

[A]

Is there another niece?

[C]

Nolan's around here.

[B]

Oh, how old is she? Just to make sure we don't say anything.

[C]

Seven.

[B]

Oh, okay. Hey, if you. If your uncle was an ice cream flavor, what flavor would he be?

[C]

Mint chocolate chip. I think that the answer. Cool.

[A]

Is that just her favorite flavor? Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Hannah. So we're talking to Simeon about. He said he's gonna do a hot five at a stand up comedy club. What do you think his chances are of succeeding and bombing?

[E]

I mean, I think it would be funny. I'm not sure if it would be funny because his jokes were good or because he was so awkward laughing at.

[A]

Him more than laughing with him.

[E]

Yeah, it might. It could go either way.

[C]

I think it'll be funny either way. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Hannah, I want you to do a hot five quick and roast your brother for us.

[E]

Oh, gosh, I don't know about that. Yeah, I don't think I could come up with anything on the spot.

[C]

I don't think the comedy gene is really present.

[A]

You've gone your whole life being his brother, I imagine. And there's got to be something that you can make fun of him about. Come on.

[E]

I mean, he's Really? A really good brother. He's my baby brother. He's your baby care of my children.

[B]

Oh, that's sweet. Did he ever get caught doing anything in high school?

[E]

He has never done anything naughty. He's the best behaved member of our family.

[B]

Really?

[E]

Others plenty naughty, but not Simeon.

[B]

Oh, Simeon was the good boy. We can work with that.

[E]

Well, the standard for being bad is pretty high in our family.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Well, let's talk about this black sheep member of your family.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

What's his name? David.

[D]

No.

[E]

We won't name any names here.

[B]

What. What's. What's the worst thing any family member has been caught doing?

[C]

That's a crazy question.

[B]

Pretty standard.

[E]

Should we share these things publicly? How many people?

[B]

Just Miles.

[C]

I think. I think I'm gonna nix that.

[B]

You're next in that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Family's got some skeletons in the closet, you know? I want you to know without saying it now. I'm just thinking the worst.

[B]

Yeah, me too.

[A]

I'm just assuming your family is not good now.

[C]

Oh, my mom is also here. She's telling me I got suspended from kindergarten.

[E]

That's pretty fun.

[A]

Wow, you are such a badass. Holy smokes.

[B]

What'd you get suspended?

[A]

He stole his buddy's crayon and he got suspended.

[C]

No, I. I accidentally punched my buddy, yeah.

[B]

Oh, you punched your buddy in kindergarten? Let's go. Dude.

[A]

Isn't that like a daily occurrence in kindergarten?

[B]

I feel like that's just how it goes. Was it a one time thing or did you get a warning?

[C]

One time thing. Got quite stern talking to sent home and I remember it was big misunderstanding. I didn't even mean to. I mean, that's. I was. I was being the Hulk. We were playing like Marvel superheroes. I was like, ah. And I did a fake punch and just real good connection there.

[B]

That's great. Not everybody gets suspended from kindergarten. I feel. Yeah, I feel like we can go into that a little bit.

[A]

So time out. You guys all just live. How old are you, Simeon? You guys all just live in the same house?

[D]

No.

[C]

No. Well, basically, no.

[A]

Does anyone have real jobs right now? What's. How are you guys paying for this house if everyone's just hanging out?

[C]

Well, this is. This is my parents house. I've got the downstairs bedroom. It's almost like a studio. It's got an attached bathroom.

[A]

What a great spin zone.

[C]

I know.

[A]

You should lean into that on your stand up routine and be like, yeah, I got a studio. It's actually kind of got like an Enclosed feel. It's in my parents basement.

[B]

My roommates.

[A]

Yeah, with my roommates.

[C]

Yeah, no, it's. It's good. Yeah, it's a nice situation.

[B]

Is that, is that your niece?

[C]

Yeah, that's the other niece.

[B]

Boy, are you guys.

[A]

Are you guys Mormon?

[C]

No, but it does sound like that.

[E]

Now we're just here a lot. Our parents are wonderful, so we love to be out there.

[A]

What the. Okay, you guys, your family can't be this nice and good and pleasant.

[B]

Yeah, well, she already is burying the skeletons, Miles.

[A]

That's true.

[C]

What skeletons?

[B]

What skeletons? Yeah, well now we can't. We can't give you too many ideas here because now our audience has gone all the like 7 year olds. It's gotta be 7 year old appropriate right now I'm.

[C]

I just wandered away. It's just me again.

[B]

All right, so when your girlfriend. When you guys are done with this set, are you going back to her parents place or your parents place?

[C]

It would probably be my house. Yeah, my parents house.

[A]

Your. Your studio apartment.

[C]

Yeah, the studio.

[B]

Yeah, got it. Daniel, are you parents cool with you bringing your girlfriend back home?

[C]

Yeah, she was just here for the weekend. Actually she just left today earlier. So she's still in school. It's in Indiana, so it's quite a ways away.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, I think we got you some material for your hot five.

[C]

Oh, plenty. Plenty of material.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. And if you like it a lot, you can really dig in, man. You can dig into how you're the good one in the family, you know, like your life was on a bad path after that, that kindergarten suspension, but it really puts you back in, right? And thank God because otherwise you end up with your brother. What did your brother do, dude? Gotta know, let us know. No one else is listening.

[C]

We just had some. We've had some, some legal troubles a couple times but.

[A]

Like stealing a car, Drugs, murder? What are we talking?

[C]

Yes to two, but not, not the last one, okay?

[B]

Oh, okay. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. I mean drugs and stealing stuff go hand in hand.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's true. See what I did there?

[B]

Oh yeah. You don't know what you did. You hit me in a goofy way. No, I know, but my arm slipped and it was weird. This is a wild, wild sensation.

[A]

Yeah, I mean the. Every family's got to have a. Have one of those.

[B]

Yeah. You really not done anything worse than punch that kid in kindergarten?

[C]

Intellectual property infringement. Had the threat of a lawsuit once.

[B]

What'd you steal?

[C]

I sold like fridges on Etsy. Like little video game fridges and the people who make Call of duty reached out to me and were like, yo, so stop it.

[A]

Oh, you got a cease and desist? Yeah, yeah, get in line. We have a PO Box just for cease and desist at our company.

[C]

Oh, dang. You got any workarounds? It was really profitable until you just.

[B]

Keep selling them for another week and get rid of your stuff. Yeah.

[A]

You say, hey, and, you know, once I sell out of this stock, then they're good then.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Usually say, that's cool.

[B]

Well, this was fun, man. I'm glad we gave you a little bit.

[A]

You just have the nicest family.

[B]

You really do.

[A]

What's it like? What's it like living in a family that all loves each other and nice to each other? What's that like?

[C]

Boring, Boring, Boring. Yeah, no, it's nice. It's pleasant, fun. Holidays are good.

[B]

You can do a whole run of jokes on how you're so boring.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, I think we've kind of.

[C]

Given enough material here. I might try to talk her into doing stand up. She can roast me. I feel like we came up with more material for that.

[A]

Yeah, well, that's. That's stand up. Stand up.

[B]

You're just self roasting. Yeah, because.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Because people can relate to that.

[A]

Like, you can even get the crowd into it. You mean, like, I'm so boring, and then they. They do it with you after you do a couple of them. I'm so boring. You know?

[B]

Yeah, it's. And then you just sell your T shirts that just say, I'm so boring.

[A]

You know, all of a sudden you're like, you know, who's the guy at the. You know, you're a redneck.

[B]

When.

[A]

Jeff Foxworthy.

[B]

Yeah. You get your tagline.

[A]

Yeah, you got it already.

[B]

Yeah, no, that's. You like vanilla ice cream, decaf, coffee. Missionary. You know, you just go down the line, just write out your actual likes, and I think that'll be your set.

[C]

I like the idea of making merch for the one and only time.

[A]

That would be funny. At the end of your set, just be like, all right, I got my merch tent outside if you guys want to hit that up.

[B]

Yeah, I'll be standing at the door. You know, add on open mic.

[A]

That would be funny if you just did the whole bit around trying to sell merchandise. Just say a joke. You get a few laughs and you like it. If you guys thought that was funny, there's. I have merch in the back.

[B]

It's all sitting on top of a Call of Duty fridge.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

This was fun, man. You let us know how it goes. All right? Take what we did here right up a first draft. When's the birthday party be?

[C]

About a month from now.

[A]

Oh, plenty of time.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[C]

I don't need the prep. I just need to go bomb. And it's good.

[B]

Call us back. We want you to redo your set on the podcast live.

[C]

Okay. All right, yeah, I'd do that.

[B]

All right, perfect. Now you got more motivation. All right, we'll talk to you soon, Simeon. And watch out for deer on that motorcycle. That's not a joke.

[D]

All right.

[C]

Yeah, no, thank you. Appreciate it, guys. Good talking with you.

[A]

All right, see ya.

[B]

Well, we found some stuff, Miles. I didn't really bring my A game on that, but trying to dig in and figure out what. What was really making Simeon tick here.

[A]

But yeah, and that's your practitioner.

[B]

You know, you're.

[A]

You're diving into the technicality of it. Yeah, yeah, and he just needed the bullet points.

[B]

You know, we got him that. We got the bullet point. You know, we got a few okay jokes in there, but that's really for him to just see what feels good on his tongue. Yeah, yeah. So there you go. I think, you know, the rest of the folks maybe had some thoughts for their top five, you know, their hot five, not top five, just everyone listening. Who wants to try stand up comedy?

[A]

Oh, yeah, it was a great lesson.

[B]

Yeah. You know, crash course there.

[A]

Should we do another one?

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Well, folks, and Charlie, family holidays, their contact sport. Everyone knows that.

[C]

Ah.

[A]

Somehow everyone's hungry, opinionated, and one step away from arguing about whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie.

[B]

Oh, that happens every year, Miles. Every year. It happens.

[A]

It does.

[B]

Can you believe that?

[A]

Well, Charlie, here's a pro tip, vanilla soft serve Tippy Cow right here. It's creamy, dreamy, and goes down smoother than on Karen stories about her cats.

[B]

I do love her cats. I love Aunt Karen's cat.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, all you gotta do is pour it over ice, pass it around the tree, and suddenly everyone is getting along. It's a holiday miracle, Charlie.

[B]

It is a holiday miracle.

[A]

It's not though. It's just Tippy Cow.

[B]

It's not, though. It is Tippy Cow. Made with real Wisconsin cows.

[A]

Drink responsibly. Tippy Cow rum cream. Copyright 2025 Midwest Custom Bottling, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. All rights reserved.

[B]

Miles, it's the holiday season and there's these last minute shopping runs, snowpack parking lots, and a one way lane that you thought you could squeeze right through. But could you? No.

[C]

No.

[B]

A mirror hits on something and the mirror shatters. And what do you see? Just a broken reflection of once was. And what once was. Was the side of an automobile. And now there's a big dollar sign flashing, flashing, flashing. But could you have even been injured in it? Yes. More money piling up. What do you.

[A]

You call Nicolaya?

[B]

1-855-Nicolet with a T.

[A]

Hi, is this Charlie?

[D]

This is Charlie.

[A]

Well, Charlie, I want to introduce you to Charlie.

[B]

Hi, Charlie.

[D]

Hey, Charlie. What's up?

[B]

Oh, man, it's gonna be a quick start, dude.

[A]

Charlie disaster.

[D]

This is freaking great. What are you talking about?

[A]

All right, Charlie.

[B]

What's up, Miles?

[A]

See, who am I talking to?

[D]

You guys will never know.

[A]

All right, you're gonna be Barley Charlie. And then Charlie, you'll be Charlie.

[B]

I gotta be Barley, dude. I was here first.

[D]

All right, I'm coming in. I guess I'm taking over.

[B]

Where are you from, Charlie?

[D]

From Vermont. The old Northeast Kingdom.

[B]

We'll call him Vermont Charlie. Yeah, Varley.

[A]

We'll call him Farley.

[B]

Varley. There you go.

[A]

All right, Varley, you're from Vermont. Why'd you call in today?

[D]

Well, I believe my question was. I think you know. So my name's Charlie B as well. Charlie Balcom. You're Charlie Barrons. So I was wondering, do we have the same middle initial? Because how crazy would that be?

[B]

On the count of three, say it. One, two, three. R, C. Fuck, dude, count it. Three.

[D]

You have the same middle initial as.

[A]

My grandfather, Delay Charlie.

[B]

Oh, that's right. My bad.

[D]

I guess you have the same initials as my grandfather.

[B]

Oh, what's his male name?

[D]

Randy.

[B]

Mine's Robert. After Grandpa mob almost. All right, so your middle name is what?

[D]

It's Conic.

[B]

Conic.

[A]

That's not.

[B]

Yeah, come on. That is not real.

[D]

I know.

[A]

What's your real middle name?

[B]

Rectum disease or something?

[D]

My. It's my great uncle's name.

[B]

Conic. Oh, well, Harry Connick Jr. Yeah. Never mind. That's cool.

[A]

That's still not real.

[D]

It's an Old west name. I'm a cowboy.

[B]

Conic. Yeah, I caught that conic last night.

[D]

It's short for iconic.

[B]

Actually, Smoke the Conic.

[A]

So why'd you call in today? Conic.

[B]

Conic. We're calling you Conic now, Charlie.

[D]

All right, all right. Well, I think. Isn't Vermont basically Wisconsin, but smaller?

[A]

I don't know anything about Vermont.

[D]

So, basically, we have mostly cows here. We make a lot of maple syrup, and we all like to wear flannel or plaid.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay. So this is a state. Your case then.

[B]

Yeah. Are you trying to get Vermont inducted into the Midwest today? Conic, I've always.

[D]

I always. Whenever I listen to your podcast, I'm thinking, you know, I don't live in the Midwest, but all this sounds like home. Like, all this sounds like pretty much the same. I deal with every day. So I feel like New England. Yeah, maybe it's a little different, but Vermont is. It's pretty much Wisconsin. I've also never been to Wisconsin, so, you know, it's pure speculation. But I do think I have a very solid, solid taste here.

[B]

Okay. If you will, Miles, should Vermont be part of the Midwest?

[A]

Connor, here, state your case.

[D]

We. We both like cheese. We both have not, Not. Not a few people, but not many either, as far as I'm aware. It's cold. You talk about the weather a lot. You know, it's. It's not the heat, it's the humidity. We say that a lot here as well, and it's true. Holy. It's even humid when it's cold. I don't even know how that makes any sense.

[A]

Because you're closer to the sea than we are.

[D]

There's lots of. There's lots of cheese. People here go crazy. You ever heard of Cabot cheese?

[B]

Cabot cheese? I've heard of cottage cheese.

[D]

Cabot cheese, Cabot.

[B]

Okay, maybe I have sometimes the names on it.

[D]

Next time you go into the supermarket, look for Cabot cheese. That's made right here in Cabot.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[D]

About the other day.

[B]

That's like Colby cheese. We make it here in Colby.

[D]

Oh, yeah, I guess so. It's the plaid cheese.

[B]

Plaid cheese? Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

They got different color plaid wrappings on them. It's like blue. And the best one's seriously sharp. It's red. And then you got the green for the. Sorry, can I curse on this?

[A]

You do love cheese, don't you?

[D]

Surprisingly, no.

[B]

No, You. You know so much about it. Come on now.

[D]

Well, everyone else likes cheese a lot. I. I eat it. But, you know, I could go without.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. You guys got. You guys got ice cream there, right? Ben, Jerry.

[D]

Oh, yeah, we got the creamies. You don't know about this? No. You know, so in. I think it might be in. Only in Vermont that we call soft serve creamies. You gotta get your maple creamy. Got your blueberry maple twist creamy. You get your, you know, the classic, like chocolate and vanilla creamy. But the real classic is maple, you know, how could you go Wrong.

[A]

I love maple.

[B]

I love a good maple.

[A]

Creamy anything maple.

[B]

Are you a big maple guy, Miles?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

You put it on your potatoes. Well, maple on the home fries.

[D]

Yeah, you gotta buy one. Fries.

[B]

Yeah, that's the thing. You get some sweet fries.

[A]

Yeah, I'd love it.

[D]

I had that the other day. My Lord. Actually, it was my birthday. Yeah.

[B]

Birthday dude. How old you turn?

[D]

20.

[B]

20 years old.

[D]

Big two.

[B]

Oh, he's can't even drink yet legally. Miles. He's calm in here. Bellied up to the bar. That's a very Wisconsin thing right there.

[D]

Yeah, well, you know, you can't drink legally, but.

[B]

Well, if your parents just say I.

[D]

Had a great birthday.

[C]

What was that.

[A]

Conic. You are just. You're funny. You're a funny guy.

[D]

That's what they tell me.

[B]

What's going on in your life. You got a. You got a. A significant other.

[D]

I don't got a sweetie. Unfortunately. There's not a lot of. There's not a lot of fish in the sea around here.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

But I'm at work.

[B]

Where are you working?

[D]

I do landscaping at the. For the moment, should be going back to doing stuff. The fiber optic splicing. That was pretty fun. I'll be back at that in the spring.

[B]

All right, good for you. You go around, bury those cables and.

[D]

I connect the cables.

[B]

Oh, that.

[D]

A little machine, fuses it together and all that good stuff.

[B]

You're just on splicing duty, huh?

[D]

Well, you know, and hanging them up and stuff.

[C]

But.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I watched TikTok the other day about how fiber works. And apparently it's just the inside of fiber is just like glass.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And then it just Beam light fiber cable.

[B]

It's a light thing.

[D]

Yeah. They shoot a laser through it.

[A]

Yeah, that's. If you had to tell. If you had to go. Miles, if you had to guess how fiber works, I wouldn't in a million years have came to that conclusion. And that's why I don't work on stuff like that.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Didn't. I had no idea it was even a thing until about March of this year.

[A]

It's good you're spicing them then.

[D]

It's so easy.

[B]

It's not hard at all, as long.

[D]

As you just freaking do it right.

[A]

So you're looking for a gal at all? You looking?

[D]

I mean. Yeah, I'm not. Not looking.

[A]

You know, dating pool is tough in.

[D]

In Vermont, especially where I live, where it's all. I live in the. About 45 minutes from the Canadian border. And there's. I Feel like there's more turkeys than there are people here. You know, I think either everyone. I meant that went to freaking school with all. All my life. Or they're, you know. You know too much about them from.

[A]

Their gobblers up there.

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Didn't want to say it.

[D]

You know, I'm trying to be nice with my words here, but.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, I got a question. How many times have you approached a girl in person to ask her on date?

[D]

I don't really. Where are you gonna meet him?

[C]

I don't.

[D]

There's. I can't go to a bar. The girls don't go fishing, so.

[B]

Oh, you fish too?

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

How's it fishing out there in Vermont?

[D]

Trout. It was great until the drought.

[B]

Just the trout in. No trout in the drought.

[D]

Well, the river's dried up.

[B]

Damn.

[D]

What kind of freaking. They were all. It was like two feet deep in most of them, but for the month of August is beautiful. Beautiful. Rainbow got some good Lakers. I got, like, one brown, but, yeah, mostly trout. Got a little bit of catfish if you go down south.

[B]

Both. Okay. No bluegill, perch, bass.

[D]

I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's all that.

[B]

Okay. But you're more of a river fisher.

[D]

I like to go for the. I like the trout. I like the way they fight. They really. They really got a good fight on them, you know?

[B]

Okay, so we can throw the fishing in the category too. That sounds. That sounds pretty good.

[D]

Yeah, exactly. There's fishing. There's snow. There's a lot of snow. There's a lot of trees. I feel like there's trees there, right? Yeah.

[B]

Not Fargo. Yeah, there's trees in Fargo. I'm looking at them right now.

[A]

We just had to plant them. They weren't just there when we found it, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Byot.

[D]

Well, they're. Hey, these trees are all pretty new. This was all clear cut at one point.

[B]

Okay, well, I think. I think we got a lot of solid things in here.

[A]

What's.

[B]

What's the main sports teams out there in Vermont?

[D]

Well, we got the. Got the Patriots.

[B]

You guys are Patriots fans.

[D]

And there's the Lakers, too. I went to school with some guys who were into the Lakers. That's basketball. So, you know, I don't know.

[B]

How do you get the Lakers being out in Vermont? How's that the basketball team? You guys choose?

[D]

I. Well, I think maybe it was because their family was from other places.

[B]

Oh, this isn't a generalized thing. This is just a few people.

[A]

He knows a couple guys that like the Los Angeles.

[B]

And that might be the most Midwest response to that question that we could have had right there. It's looking good for you, kind of.

[A]

Yeah. While we're at it, do you know any Jaguar fans?

[D]

Maybe, you know, maybe if I asked him, I would know, but.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

So you want. I can tell you want to put Vermont in. I'm not completely sold, Charlie.

[D]

Well, you know, if you came here, you would agree.

[B]

Maybe we should come out there.

[D]

I think you should.

[A]

Yeah. I would say that there's. There's not. We're not going to decide if Vermont is in yet. We're just going to put like a suspension or extension until we get out there and get some boots on the ground.

[B]

Yep, we need it. We need another. Another meeting of the minds on this one. Kick.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

You haven't fully sold us. How does that make you feel?

[D]

You know, it's not the best feeling, but it ain't. It ain't the worst. I. My boss said, you know what? I'll pay you till 5 o' clock because I'm gonna go hunting. So I'm on the clock, but I ain't working. So you know what?

[B]

That's actually not.

[A]

I mean, nice gig.

[B]

I've never. You didn't even have to come up with an excuse.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I mean, I worked. I worked until about to.

[B]

So you're out hunting right now?

[D]

Yeah, I'm just sitting in my car. He's hunting.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[D]

I said, I'm hungry.

[A]

It's the same. We used to pull my dad, you know, we knew he was out of town. We would just mosey around the job site because we knew he wasn't gonna show up and get pissed at us, you know? Yeah, same.

[B]

Yeah, it's always a good day when. When your boss isn't there because it's hard to keep track of how far you should really get in a day.

[A]

And regardless of how far you got, it's not going to be far enough for the boss anyways.

[B]

That's true. So where's the motivation?

[D]

That's the truth in it. That's the truth.

[A]

Now I feel bad for saying that we're not completely sold. Like, he made me feel bad.

[B]

He made you feel bad?

[D]

Yeah, you should feel bad.

[A]

He said, just does. He's like, yeah, it doesn't feel good. Now I feel bad.

[B]

See?

[A]

And that's like, why am I withholding? Like, just. Let's let him in.

[B]

Just let him in.

[D]

Yeah, you're just being. You're sitting here being Prejudiced over somewhere. You ain't never band, so.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

No, I was not prejudiced. I said I actually want to go and experience it, did I not? That's like what we're supposed to do when you. You confront, you try and put yourself in their shoes. That's what you try to do in this world.

[D]

It is just whatever you do, don't come in October.

[B]

Why October?

[D]

Because that's when all the leaf peep peepers come here and freaking ruin everything.

[B]

The leaf peepers?

[D]

Yeah, they. They go, oh, my God, look at their pretty colors. Let me stop in the freaking side of the highway and take pictures.

[A]

I like that.

[D]

Oh, it's gonna break down lane for a reason.

[A]

You know what?

[D]

If you're not crying, you're broken.

[A]

I think having a name like Leaf Peepers.

[B]

Yeah, that might have just sold it right there.

[A]

Sold.

[B]

Now should we do it?

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Here.

[A]

Here, Vermont.

[D]

Oh, you want to hear the other names we have for out of staters?

[B]

Yes.

[D]

We got the Massachusetts, and then we got the Connecticut. Yeah. I think that the Massachusetts shit's massive.

[B]

Two shits.

[D]

Massachusetts or the mass holes. That's the easier one to say. But that's pretty. And then, yeah, you got the Connecticuts, New Hampshire, it. You know, they're basically just the same state, so I don't know if we have a name for them.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

And then I like to call the Canadians the Queebs, because we got. We got this beautiful lake that they always come to and they freaking. They heat it up. I swear to God, when I was a kid, this lake was freaking cold all year long. And now you go there in August and it's warm and cloudy. You're like, yeah, what the hell are these people doing here?

[A]

You're saying that the Canadians changed the weather pattern?

[D]

They know all of their warm bodies sitting in the lake and pissing in it. They heated it up.

[B]

It must be that. There's no other explanation for a lake in August getting heated up. Then the Canadians coming to pissing it.

[D]

Yeah. And they freaking. They park all over the road. You can never park there anymore. They don't say hi to your mother when she's trying to be nice to them.

[B]

Really? The Canadians aren't nice? Is that what you're saying?

[C]

No.

[D]

They're so rude.

[A]

Yeah. You got eastern Canadians, though. They're different than the rest of the country, you know?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. I think it's only the ones from Quebec.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Frenchies.

[A]

French are.

[B]

What is he saying? I don't know.

[D]

They're Queebs.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[D]

It's not a slur because it's not popularly known. You don't have to bleep it out.

[B]

Not a slur yet.

[D]

Yeah, not yet. I'm trying to make it one.

[A]

You said New Hampshire is basically the same thing as Vermont. You know, do you get that a lot? Like, why aren't you guys just one. Why aren't you guys just new Vermont?

[D]

It's because the politics are like the opposite there.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

We like and we all hate each other, I think, I don't know.

[B]

I think I'm supposed to hate them.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What's your slur? What's your slur for New Hampshire people?

[D]

I think it's just New Hampshire. I don't know. The beer's cheaper there though, so be other for that. And you can buy fireworks there. You can't buy fireworks here.

[A]

That's a very big last thing. Knowing where you can and can't buy fireworks.

[B]

Yeah, because like.

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

People that live in big cities, they don't even think about fireworks.

[B]

No.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

But you, if you know, like, which state has the higher tax on fireworks, that's next level right there.

[D]

And the higher tax on beer and Laker. It's way, way cheaper in Hampshire.

[B]

Ah, live free or die, baby.

[D]

Exactly. And you don't have to wear a seat belt there.

[B]

Sounds like you might want to move to New Hampshire.

[D]

Maybe. But they're freaking. What is it they don't have. They don't have taxes on. They don't have sales tax, so they tax you out the ass on property taxes.

[A]

Oh.

[D]

And labor. So it's a kind of hit or miss, depending on, you know, I guess you get a free housing job then. Yeah.

[A]

You are a very informed 20 year old dude.

[D]

When there's not a lot to do besides fish, you kind of got to like, fill your brain up.

[A]

Yeah. It's not a lot to do. So you just tech, you just check the tax code on neighboring states? That's what I was doing when I was 20.

[D]

Hey, I didn't check it. You just hear. I just. You hear.

[B]

He's just picking up what they say at the bars that he's never been to.

[D]

Well, I, I used to go to the bar to play pool.

[B]

We know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you never approached any girl at that bar?

[D]

God, no. I was way too drunk. Okay. And they're also, I don't know, I, I, I talked to a girl at a party I went to and then.

[A]

Tell us about that.

[D]

Yeah, well, yeah, we were just talking and hanging out. And then a fight broke out and then we all had to leave because the cops came. But then we did smoke one time together, so that was fun.

[A]

This is like a Midwest love story. You're drinking underage at a house party. The cops show up, and then you lose contact of each other and you just. The whole movie is trying to find each other again. So you can just smoke a bowl.

[D]

Get this. It was actually a field party and there was a food truck there, except the food truck was just hot dogs.

[C]

Kind of.

[A]

Kind of field parties. You doing in Vermont? You got. You got hot dog stands.

[D]

Dude, I was mind blown, honestly. It was. It was like the college party. Yeah, and they had. They had. They had a beer stand too. $5 for a red solo cup? I said, hell no. So we went to the store and got $2 beers from there.

[B]

Yeah, but I think it's like you buy $5.

[A]

$5 for a cup and you can drink as much as you want.

[D]

No, it was like $5 per fail, I think.

[B]

Are you sure about that?

[D]

I don't know. I didn't. Yeah, I didn't stick around to find out.

[A]

$5 for a cup goes. Buys a 30 rack for 20 bucks.

[D]

Yeah, pretty much.

[A]

Oh, well, we'll let you in. Let's. Let's Leverman in.

[B]

It's in. Connick. Congratulations, Jared.

[A]

We should do a graphic of all the states we've said yes to letting in the Midwest. And we could highlight and just put out a graphic that just says the Midwest and just all the states that are highlighted.

[B]

All right.

[D]

Better thank me.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I appreciate you calling in today, man. Good to talk to you.

[D]

Oh, yeah, you. Thank you calling me.

[A]

Yeah, for sure.

[B]

I keep representing the name Charlie out there, all right?

[D]

Oh, hell yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Don't know it.

[B]

Don't be giving us a bad name, okay?

[D]

I'll do my best.

[B]

All right. Will you be good out there? Good luck shooting whatever you're killing.

[D]

Alrighty. Well, tell your folks I says hi.

[B]

All right. Tell your boss we says keep letting you splice.

[D]

I will.

[B]

All right. See you, Connick.

[A]

Well, Charlie, Is that another episode of the bellied up podcast?

[B]

Miles, we got another one in the tank. Yeah, we do.

[A]

That last guy even kind of talked like you a little bit at times.

[B]

I know he did. He did have some mannerisms. I was.

[A]

Could be your cousin.

[B]

You never know, Miles. I got. I got family everywhere. The real question is, does he wear glasses with. Barely have a prescription.

[A]

See, I knew that that was. It's bothering you.

[B]

It's sitting in the crawl a little bit, Miles.

[A]

And that's why I didn't want to bring it up, but you made me.

[B]

That's a big truck. Good God. Little Wienertown. Anyways, Miles, it's been fun hanging with you here.

[A]

It's been great.

[B]

And you guys, hey, don't forget, if.

[A]

You'Re in Fargo, you got to come check out the new quickstar in town.

[B]

And don't forget to close your gas cap, all right?

[A]

See what that license plate says.

[B]

What? Let's go.

[A]

Let's work at kfgo. All right.

[B]

So many.

[A]

Tip your bartender. We'll see you next one, guys.

[B]

Bye.

[C]

Bye.

[A]

Okay, hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now. Oodaloon.