Dating Someone 28 Years Older #182

Summary

Bellied Up Podcast – Episode #182

"Dating Someone 28 Years Older" – January 8, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively and candid episode recorded at the Blarney Stone in Fargo, ND, hosts Charlie Berens (Emmy-winning comedian) and Myles "You Betcha Guy" belly up to the bar to kick off the new year and dive into a truly unusual caller story: a 22-year-old firefighter, Ryan, who’s dating a woman 28 years his senior. Sprinkled with Midwest banter, comedy, and the guys’ signature offbeat advice, the episode blends relatable resolutions, lighthearted roasting, and sincere support as the trio discusses family, societal norms, and romantic age gaps.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. New Year's Small-Town Vibes & Banter

• The show opens with classic Midwest humor and playful debate about vests, the merits of hoodie/vest combos, and Charlie “stealing” a vest in chilly bar conditions.
  • [01:35] Myles to Charlie: “I just haven’t seen you in many vests. Are you a vest guy or not?”
• They riff on using one’s kid as an excuse, winter fashion (“protect your vitals!”), and the utility of bar vests versus winter coats.

2. DIY Projects & Bench Philosophy

• Both hosts commiserate over unfinished home improvement projects, such as Charlie’s half-done garage bench.
  • [07:23] Charlie: “Garage has gotten way out of hand…projects everywhere, half done…I got a bench that I’m redoing that’s just chilling there.”
• The “bench-as-life-metaphor” comes up, with jokes about riding the pine and not needing to ever do a bench project again.

3. Rubik’s Cube and (Not) New Year’s Resolutions

• Myles shares his quirky goal to lock himself in a room and solve a Rubik’s Cube (with absolutely no prior research), currently stuck in “pre-mental preparation.”
  • [13:10] Myles: “Just put me in a room with a Rubik’s Cube. I just want to…me and the cube. I don’t come out until I solve it.”
• Charlie talks about his never-ending list of projects and a content but restless approach to self-improvement.

4. Learning the Loon Call

• In a classic Midwest moment, the hosts try to teach Charlie how to mimic a loon call using his hands, leading to comedic play-by-play and physical comedy.
  • [18:13] Charlie: “You know, I want to learn, Miles. I want to learn how to do a loon call just like you.”
  • [20:37] Myles on Charlie’s failed attempt: “You’re too tense. Your knuckles are literally white.”
• This segment’s playful energy reflects the light, improvisational tone of the podcast.

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Main Caller: Ryan and His 28-Year Age-Gap Relationship

Setting the Scene

• [22:00] Ryan calls in—after being screened by his phone's virtual AI assistant!—to discuss his new relationship:
  • [26:34] Ryan: “My girlfriend is fantastic…we haven’t been dating very long…but she happens to be 28 years older than me.”

Hosts’ Reaction

• Charlie and Myles react with equal parts surprise and genuine curiosity.
  • [26:59] Charlie: “Wow.”
  • [27:00] Myles: “Dude, it’s fine!”

Getting to Know Ryan & Anna

• Age specifics: Ryan is 22, Anna is 50.
• They are both volunteer firefighters in the Stevens Point, WI area.
• Relationship Origin:
  • Met during fire station meetings and began connecting during firefighter training.
  • Their first “real” date was an impromptu, classmates-turned-couples motorcycle ride after everyone else bailed.
    • [34:35] Ryan: “Everybody canceled except for me and her…Ended up going on this motorcycle trip up north…all the trees changing colors…stop at a bar, have some drinks, get some food…”
  • Night culminated with three bottles of wine at Ryan’s place; he claims he was a gentleman, despite Anna’s inebriated advances.

Laugh-Out-Loud Moments

• Hosts tease out details, riffing on firefighter innuendos:
  • [31:01] Myles: “So she knows how to work a hose, is what you’re saying.”
• Playful roasting about “starting over” and “being professional” after rocky AI-assisted call setup.

Family Dynamics & Upcoming Introductions

• Anna’s kids: 28 (son), 23 (daughter), and 14 (son).
• Ryan is preparing to meet Anna’s daughter for the first time at Thanksgiving, despite being almost the same age.
  • [42:15] Myles: “So, yeah, what’s that gonna be like? …You think they’re cool with you or weirded out?”
• Ryan’s strategy for meeting the family: bringing his (allegedly award-winning) homemade pumpkin pie and defaulting to small talk about weather and current events.
  • [44:07] Ryan: “I make a really good pumpkin pie…I’m bringing pumpkin pie.”

Potential Awkwardness & Self-Deprecation

• Ryan shares his low expectations and deadpan humor about his “plan” to die alone, owning his lack of urgency and setting the bar low for life outcomes.
  • [52:31] Ryan: “My plan has kind of been for the past four or five years that I just die alone.”
• Hosts encourage him, referencing movie "Dodgeball" and jokes about not setting goals so you’re never disappointed.

Addressing the Elephant in the Room

• The potential issue of having children together is dismissed; Ryan is content without kids.
• He shares his mother would find the whole thing hilarious, while his father would probably be confused, then disappointed.

AI Assistant Gag & Future Tech

• The conversation circles back to the AI call screener and then becomes delightfully morbid/absurd:
  • [55:06] Ryan: “When she dies, because she’s 28 years older than me…I should make her into a robot. I’m sure the technology will be there.”

Midwest Wisdom and Final Advice

• Hosts send Ryan off with encouragement, Midwest practicality, and jokes about “orchestrating” Thanksgiving like Anna orchestrates their romantic evenings.
  • [57:29] Myles: “Love is love. It don’t matter the age.”
  • [57:36] Charlie: “Well, good, good. Hopefully she orchestrates for your Thanksgiving evening too, to bring it all back home.”

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Other Notable Segments

Tattoo Advice – Chicken Wings on Your Back!

• Caller Nick asks for advice on tattooing chicken wings on his back, instead of angel wings.
  • [59:49] Nick: “I want to get chicken wings on my back. Like how you get angel wings…and I just kind of want to know your opinion.”
• Hosts riff:
  • [60:49] Charlie: “A chicken wing is way too easy to look like a wiener, though.”
  • [61:13] Myles sets his price high (“a million bucks”) while Charlie would do it for $10k.

Classic Bellied Up Farewells

• Charlie vows to work on his loon call; Myles, the Rubik’s Cube.
• Charlie, on Ryan:
  • [63:15] “I’ll work on my loon call, you work on your Rubik’s Cube, and Ryan will work on Anna.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• [02:05] Myles: “If someone sees one of us in a vest, it’s probably going to be me.”
• [09:06] Charlie: “Ride pine. See, I was never bad at sports. That’s what people on the bench talked about while I was out there starting.”
• [13:10] Myles: “Just put me in a room with a Rubik’s Cube…me and the cube. I don’t come out until I solve it.”
• [40:43] Ryan: “Sorry to any exes listening out on the show, but she blows them out of the water…It’s not even a competition.”
• [46:56] Charlie: “So, her daughter’s not your type because she doesn’t have her sh*t together.”
• [52:31] Ryan: “My plan…has kind of been for the past four or five years that I just die alone.”
• [55:20] Ryan: “When she dies…because she’s 28 years older than me, I should make her into, like, a robot.”
• [57:29] Myles: “Love is love. It don’t matter the age.”

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Vest Run-Down & New Year Talk: 00:45 – 06:30
• Rubik's Cube & Project Jokes: 12:08 – 14:00
• Loon Call Comedy: 18:09 – 21:33
• Main Caller Ryan Joins: 26:34
• Ryan’s Age-Gap Love Story: 26:34 – 57:49
• Tattoo Caller (Chicken Wings): 59:29
• Sign-offs & Show Close: 63:00

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Conclusion

Through Midwestern wit and compassion, Charlie and Myles expertly blend off-the-cuff comedy with surprisingly thoughtful advice. Whether you’re pondering a new tattoo or carrying pumpkin pie as an olive branch to your 50-year-old girlfriend’s family, Episode #182 will leave you entertained, smiling, and perhaps a little more comfortable bellying up to your own life’s awkward conversations.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Bellied up podcast. We are bellied up at Blarney Stone here in Fargo, North Dakota. The old Irish pub. You know that the Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch, Charlie.

[B]

They ignore anything you can't drink or punch.

[A]

Yeah. And the Irish soup of the day is whiskey.

[B]

I see you're reading the. The fun little pubs pubs are.

[A]

This the official sunblock of ire. That one. I like that one a lot like that one a lot. Blarney St's a vibe. They got good Irish food. The old fish and chips.

[B]

Is this real? Is this real? Yeah, those are real bricks there.

[A]

That's not going anywhere. We actually had a Christmas party at Blarney Stone one year.

[B]

Is this the infamous Christmas party where someone peed somewhere?

[A]

No, that was at a different place.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

We were much more respectful. Stone? Yeah.

[B]

What you do for your Christmas party this past?

[A]

We didn't do one.

[C]

Really?

[B]

No, you just don't.

[A]

We'll bring it back. We'll bring it back.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

I had a kid.

[B]

You got a kid. That's got to be nice, dude. I want to get a kid just so I can use it for as many things as you use as an excuse for.

[C]

Hey, why have them?

[B]

Why have them if you can't use them as an excuse?

[A]

But, yeah, it's a great spot. It's actually a great. Not only a great spot to drink, but it's a great spot to eat food. They got good food here at the Blarney Stone.

[B]

Sure do.

[A]

But, yeah, Charlie, I excited to. To start this episode because in between the break, you popped on a vest.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm gonna be honest, Charlie. I just have. I haven't seen you in very many vests.

[B]

You don't think I'm a vest guy?

[A]

No, I didn't say that. And actually, I think that's what we should discuss is, are you a vest guy or are you not? Because I would say, traditionally, if. If someone sees one of us in a vest, it's probably going to be me.

[B]

Yeah, you're a vest guy.

[A]

But a notorious vest guy in my life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is this a new thing, or do you just wear them when I don't see you or what's going on? Because it's New Year's Today is what, January 1st?

[B]

January 1st. Yeah.

[A]

I don't know exactly was on New Year's Day. Is this a new year, new you situation or what's going on with the same me?

[B]

Your vest. I just took It. That chair.

[A]

Oh. So this is Jared's vest.

[B]

Oh, Jared. Chad, are you cold, Jared? Okay. Yeah, this is Jared's vest.

[A]

You know what we love about Jared. Shout out to Jared is he'll give you the vest off his back.

[B]

Jared will. I mean, I didn't even ask to be. You know, I kind of stole, but he hasn't said nothing yet.

[A]

Yeah, it's in your best interest.

[B]

Jared. Take my seat, dude. I will dial callers today.

[A]

No, that will never get done.

[B]

Yeah, probably won't. This would be the shortest episode. It's not. No. Charlie, you're too good to host this show. It's just.

[A]

That's like, pick your poison. I want you in this chair of that one. I think I'll take this chair, unfortunately. Okay. That makes so much more sense. I was like, what is he doing with the vest on?

[B]

I have a couple. I do have a couple vests. I. I got a hunting vest, but usually I'm more of a hoodie guy myself. Yeah, I like a hoodie.

[A]

When you get back home.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Once you do your normal hoodie routine, pop a vest on over it. Change your life.

[B]

Really? Okay, I'll give that a go. What got you into the vest? What got you into it?

[A]

We actually did a breakdown of this on you Bet your Radio at one point, but it's the perfect. It's the perfect winter thing. First, as soon as it gets cold.

[B]

Oh, I've seen this. Yeah. You're not a sleeves guy.

[A]

Yes, it allows movement, but it also. What I like is you can wear a vest in a bar and not get too hot, but then you don't have to worry about setting your coat down and leaving it.

[B]

Right. Because if someone steals your coat, it's. That's a big problem. Someone steals your vest. It's like. Yeah, it didn't have.

[A]

Well, no, but then I guess soon they have to take it off my back because I'm just not taking it off.

[B]

Oh, you're never. But okay.

[A]

Are they gonna steal my vest? I don't take it off.

[B]

I got it. You just. You're never.

[A]

Yeah. Arms crossed. Good luck getting that vest on. Yeah. See, look at it.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I can't do it. I can't.

[B]

I can't. With these karate skills, though.

[A]

Plus, you want to protect your vitals in the winter.

[B]

That's.

[A]

Those vitals. Warm extremities. You know, you could. You could stand to lose a limb or two.

[B]

My. My bow hunting attire includes the vest. I want you to know that I like that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it's good.

[B]

It allows a little bit more movement on the arms and a little less noise. Yeah, it's canvas.

[A]

Actually almost grabbed a vest this morning. I forgot.

[B]

Did you regret it that you regret right now? Because it's a little chilly in here right now with these fans going.

[A]

Yeah. So that brings me to my next question, and you don't have to answer it if you feel like we've done it one too many times. Much like I said, I don't want to answer the.

[B]

Oh, yeah. What's my New Year's resolution?

[A]

No, I was gonna go lean into the new year. New you, new year. Do you feel like this is because I. I feel like sometimes you come to a new year and you're like, I don't think I need a new me this year. Pretty fine with it. Where. Let's get the temperature in the. In the Barron's world. You feeling like you need a new you, or are you feeling good with where you're at?

[B]

Man, I almost want to rewind and figure out what I said last year that I wanted to do. I feel I, I, I always like to keep. Keep it expanding, keep doing new me stuff.

[A]

Okay, so what's on the new me radar for Charlie Radar?

[B]

Well, I continue, Miles. You feel like you got a few projects done, and then you just keep creating more projects for yourself? This past year, I've created. I've put a lot of time in doing a lot of projects, and I've enjoyed it. I've enjoyed it. So I want to expand on that a little bit more.

[A]

So you want to do the same you then.

[B]

Yeah, I guess. After that whole thing. Yeah.

[A]

Doing the whole speech.

[B]

Yeah, let's keep doing same me. Yeah, no, but me.

[A]

And then.

[B]

And then a little, you know. Yeah.

[A]

So you want to create a lot more projects in 2020?

[B]

I don't even have to try to create them. I just finish a project, and then I realize, you know, I'm filling a void, I'm filling a hole. So I start a new project.

[A]

Yep. That's how it goes.

[B]

You know, that's kind of how it is. So I was telling you yesterday, I got a ceiling. I'm gonna just go put a drywall cap on it, you know? Is that the smartest thing to do? I don't know, but I haven't had anyone tell me it's the dumbest thing to do.

[A]

I didn't say it was the dumbest thing to do.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, it's going to be a bit of a Pain in the ass. But so would be catching it.

[A]

Are you going to get one of those contraptions that you, like, put that Sheetrock on and then it, like, hoist it up to the ceiling for you?

[B]

I know.

[A]

Raw dog.

[B]

Brother. Brother.

[A]

You're getting.

[B]

Yeah, I did. I did look at those. Because I was. I was looking for. How's the. How's the best way to do this? And. But that just. I. I don't think it's enough square.

[A]

Footage to be worth it.

[B]

It's really not. Yeah. I mean, this is a. This is a quick. Because then I gotta store that somewhere. And I also. I gotta clean the garage. Garage has gotten way out of hand. Projects everywhere. Half done. Got a bench that I'm redoing. That's just chilling there, you know? And do you ever feel like.

[A]

So I feel like everyone at some point is either built a bench or redone a bench in their life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But after my bench project that I did. You still have to stay.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah.

[A]

I still have to stain it. It's fine. I. I walked away from that project going. I don't think I needed to do a bench project.

[B]

You don't think you need to do another one?

[A]

Yeah, I don't. I don't think I'm. I think I'm good for life on bench projects.

[B]

I felt like that.

[A]

I feel like you. When you making a bench or working on a bench, you think you're going to utilize it so much more than you do.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I mean, you're not really making a bench to use it. You're making a bench to say you like that bench. I did that. Still gotta stay in it, but I guess it is.

[A]

It's like more of a sculpture, like an art piece.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Than it is a utility.

[B]

Exactly. I mean, where are you planning to put your bench?

[A]

When was the last time you sat on a bench besides in high school and you're playing sports?

[B]

Oh, my. At my kitchen table, My family kitchen table. There's a bench because we got a big roster.

[A]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[B]

My family's a bench family, you know, especially as people get, you know, riding pine. Ride and pine. Exactly. Sounds a little dirty, but yeah. Ride and pine, baby. Is that. Do you make a pine bench?

[A]

That's just a very common phrase in the sports world.

[B]

No.

[A]

If you're not good at sports, you ride pine.

[B]

Ride pine. See, I was never bad at sports, so that's what people on the bench talked about, I guess, while I was out there starting. Ah, not a big deal. But you know, you as a third string quarterback in middle school. Yeah, you might, you might have known that term. I played AAU ball Miles.

[A]

And what does that stand for?

[B]

I don't have no idea. It stands for really good at basketball. In grade school, I did ride pine on aau actually.

[A]

Yeah, that's like the best of the best play.

[B]

I was riding aluminum is what I was doing.

[A]

Your dad was a doctor, that's why you were on the team. No help fund the cool jerseys. No travel. Yeah, you guys had a big van. They could pile the whole team in.

[B]

Yeah. See, here's the thing about a big family is your dad's not gonna sponsor the basketball team, you know, but. But I like you to know that I got the Presbyterian people mover was utilized once I got my driver's license that we could take the van out if my parents were like gone. If they were out on a date, we could take the van out without their knowledge. And you can fit a lot more than 15 people in a 15 seater van. I'll tell you that right now. High school. What a time to be alive.

[A]

Had to have been pretty fun.

[B]

Thank God we're still alive.

[A]

That would have been fun.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What are you just rolling your buddy's neighborhood, just honking the horn and people just come running out and jump in?

[B]

Yeah, I mean basically, you know, or you go, you go to like a. A party and you know there's another party and the party just gets in the van. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty awesome. I miss that van, dude. Big old Dodge with a big ass. Big ass hanging off the.

[A]

You're an ass man. Then you.

[B]

You know it. Yeah, Dodge, you better dodge his car because you know I'm behind the wheel. But yeah, anyways, what we talk about. Oh yeah, you third string, but you came along lame Mouse, you played that arm, it got you a starting spot in college. Oh yeah, that's right, your left arm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think.

[A]

Yeah, I feel good about Barons in 2026.

[B]

Yeah, I got, I got more.

[A]

New year, same Barons.

[B]

New Year, same Barons. How about you, Miles?

[A]

Are you going to get invested this year?

[B]

Invested? See, I do have a vest. I've had. I, I told you that I have fest. Yeah, yeah, I've. I've got a vest, man. I told you. My bow hunter. My bow hunter, you know. Mossy Oak, in fact, you know. But how about you? What could change in your life?

[A]

I'm feeling pretty good this year. I. I mean at the time recording this, it's not Quite New Year's yet. And the reason why I bring that up is I still have to solve a Rubik's Cube before the end of 2025.

[B]

How close are you?

[A]

So when this episode comes out, hopefully I've done that. But it's. It was something I was supposed to accomplish in 2025. I'm hoping by the time this episode I did it. But headway wise, I've done a lot of mentally preparing to mentally prepare for it. So.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Kind of in the pre mentally preparing stages. But it was because I wanted to just be like a contained thing. Like just put me in a room, give me a Rubik's Cube. I don't want to do any research on how to solve it. I just want to just me in the cube and I don't come out of the room till I solve it. And I think that that's just like. Feels like. Feels good. Okay, I want to do that and I'm gonna do it.

[B]

We can do that today. You want? I know I can lock you in a room today. The stuff can wait.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

This is important. How far are you on the Rubik's Cube?

[A]

What do you mean?

[B]

I mean start.

[A]

I'm mentally preparing for it.

[B]

Oh, you were serious about that. Like you haven't even. This is.

[A]

Well, if I'm doing it, locking myself in a room, not coming out until it's done, I'm out of the room. So that means I would have already had to have solved it.

[B]

So I see what you're saying now. Yeah. Sometimes I like to get the explanation twice so I really can comprehend for.

[A]

Those that maybe weren't listening earlier.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right guys, time for prize picks right now. Prize picks will give you 50 in lineups. When you play your first five dollar lineup, win or lose, you'll get 50 bucks in lineups. Use promo code bellied up when you sign up today. And we're headed into the NFL playoffs. Feeling good. Charlie and I have been playing all season long. We've been making picks, we've been hitting picks, we've been not hitting picks. But that's okay. We don't talk about those. We talk about the ones that we hit. And this week I got one that's going to hit for you. Saquon Barkley is going to get a touchdown either rushing or receiving. So guys get into it. Download the prize picks app. Enjoy the wild card weekend using code bellied up. Guys, at this point we are in the throes of shoveling season and I'm thinking how Have I not bought a snowblower yet? This is a really good question. Thanks for asking, Miles. Regardless, after completing the back breaking tasks of clearing the snow off my driveway, I'm ready for a well deserved break. And lately that break includes a glass of Tippy Cow orange cream. Love me some orange cream. Tippy Cow really comes through when I'm got a hankering for something creamy and refreshing. And when I want to pretend I'm somewhere warm without all the shoveling back pain, I make myself a little orange cow loader. 1 part tippy cow orange cream, 1 part white rum, 3 parts pina colada mix. My neighbor's snowblower suddenly sounds like the oin.

[B]

So go on, have a cow you guys. This this time of year there's nothing better tipping on back with a Tippy Cow n drink responsibly Tippy Cow rum.

[A]

Cream Copyright 2025 Midwest Custom Bottling Pocket Wisconsin. All rights reserved.

[B]

Miles, It's a new year.

[A]

New year. It's a new year, baby. Happy new year, Charlie.

[B]

2026.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

2K 26.

[A]

20 oh. 26.

[B]

2026, baby.

[A]

It's new year, guys. And everyone's got fres. Fresh revolution. Whoa. Fresh resolutions.

[B]

Fresh illusions.

[A]

Yeah, maybe this year you're all about snowmobiles, UTVs or hitting the trails. But the first ride of the season has a way of humbling people fast. Snow drifts, hidden stumps, low visibility trails.

[B]

Hit back.

[A]

If your New Year adventure ends in a crash, you gotta call Nicolay Law. They fight for you.

[B]

They do fight for you, Miles. Everywhere you go, they got. They got. They just got the boxing gloves on. They're ready to step into the ring for you. And led by Russell Nicolay. And don't let those sunglasses fool you. He knows how to.

[A]

You need to have your. Your New Year's resolution should be to have Nicolay Law on your contact list just in case something goes awry.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

That's true.

[B]

1-855-Nicolette. Plug it in right now and watch out for stumps. It stumps. I was listening, I just wasn't hearing you. Or I was hearing you, I just wasn't listening. So there you go.

[A]

Girlfriend tells you that seemed like a canned line from you know.

[B]

No, it's you.

[A]

Yeah, you hear me, but you aren't listening.

[B]

It's from that Simon Garfunkel song, people hearing without listening. People writing songs that voices never shared. No one cared.

[A]

Have you ever noticed that Charlie always sings like his mouth is small?

[B]

Do I? A small mouse Singer Miles I want.

[A]

You to open that mouth out and show us what it does. Wow. Do you barons what that mouth do?

[B]

Wow. Is this a kid show, huh?

[A]

And honestly, that was the best way I could describe how you sing.

[B]

That was pretty good. Yeah, I. I've never even noticed that. That's probably why my singing is not that great.

[A]

Will come up tomorrow.

[B]

That's. Let me try it big. And I will raise you up on eagle's wings. May I like opening it up a little bit more?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, that's really good.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You know what I want to do? You know, I want to learn, Miles. I want to learn how to do a loon call just like you.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah. Show everyone here. I'll hold your mic.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I am. You turned on, Jared. I'm turned on. Yeah.

[A]

And I want you. After I. Charlie was in my house last night, and after I showed him that this is. This is what it was him for, like, the next 20 minutes, just going.

[B]

It's true.

[A]

Dude thought he was gonna pass out here.

[B]

Hold on. Miles taught me. So you cup your hands like you. You cup. People are looking. Stop it. People are looking. So you cup your hands like this. Jared.

[C]

All right.

[B]

And then you put your top lip on your. Your thumb.

[A]

Let me show teeth on your nail.

[B]

Teapot.

[A]

Teeth.

[B]

Teeth on the nail.

[A]

Well, just like. Yeah, just in that general area.

[B]

Well, generally, I'm.

[A]

You're not even.

[C]

Why?

[A]

No, no, like this. Like, you're like a cheerleader clap.

[B]

Let me. Let me see where you put. Let me see you do it again. I gotta look at this. Yeah.

[A]

Like, I'm gonna show you something. Like. Like I'm showing you a frog.

[B]

Your right thumb is way bigger than your left thumb. Have you ever noticed that? Oh, no, it's not. It's just the way you're doing it. Okay. Like you're showing me a frog. Show me the frog. Oh, yeah. Nice. Okay, I get that. All right. One hand cupped. I see. I see. It's the cupping. Okay, okay. Okay. Hold me, hold me, hold me. Let me try.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, square up your thumbs. There you go. Yeah, you got a hole right there. You got a hole right there. Put your. Put your top lip right there. And then tilt your hands up like that. Not your whole head. Just your hands. Just. Just your hands. There's a tiny whistle in there. You're too tense. Your knuckles are literally white.

[B]

I want it too bad.

[A]

Just relax your hands. You're still. Your lip is not where you need your lip. Up there.

[C]

There you go.

[A]

Stop Stop right there. There. And then go like this. Then you gotta close these more. He's shaking.

[C]

He's shaking.

[B]

Oh, there's something happening.

[A]

Here's what we need to do today.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

We're gonna go in the room together. We're gonna lock ourselves in it. I'm gonna do a Rubik's Cube, and you're gonna. You're gonna do that until you can whistle, okay?

[B]

Okay, that sounds good.

[A]

All right.

[B]

All right, and break.

[A]

Ready, folks. We're gonna take some collars and be fun.

[B]

It'll be a. It would be a good, good time.

[A]

Hi.

[C]

If you record your name and reason for calling, I'll see if this person is available.

[B]

Hi, my name is Charlie, and I'm here with my friend Miles.

[A]

Hello.

[B]

And we are calling from the Bellied up podcast. And we. Yep. Okay. That's it.

[C]

Okay, thanks, Charlie. Please stay on. Whoa.

[B]

Who's that robot?

[A]

What the hell is going on? You. You.

[C]

Hey, guys. How's it going?

[A]

Have an artificially intelligence receptionist on your phone.

[C]

All right, before you guys get too carried away on. On ripping on my virtual assistant here that answers my phone calls for me. She or he. I don't know. I've never listened to. It has prevented a ton of spam calls.

[A]

Yeah, well, yeah, almost preventive. It also pisses off a lot of your friends, so.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, my friends are in my contacts list, so they don't. They don't get the robot.

[A]

Yeah, so that makes. Well, it pisses off the people that are calling you for a podcast a little bit.

[C]

I'm sure it does.

[B]

So do you get a text message saying, like, what we just said to you, or does your assistant, like, vibrate or something?

[C]

Yeah, it'll ring me if a call is coming in and say it's. It's screening you guys. And then I'll. I'll look at the phone and it'll give me, like, a AI summary. It's like it said, maybe Charlie. That's what it said.

[B]

That was a summary of what I said. I think your agent sucks. That's what I think.

[C]

It's just my.

[B]

Are you gone?

[C]

New technology.

[B]

Did you just cut out?

[C]

Did I. I don't think I did.

[A]

It is just what's really funny about this. The worst way to start a call and Bellied up is with AI. Yeah, you just already got.

[C]

You know. Yeah, you guys were prying and prying.

[B]

No, your robot was prying. Your robot was prying.

[A]

Now that your robot goes, leave your name, your number, your Social Security number, a Little fun fact about yourself and a detail about your life that no one else knows. And you know that that's what the prompt is, right?

[C]

You know, you guys, you guys busted me. I should update the prompt.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Make it more fun at least. You know, you should do it. You know, like no people would like.

[C]

Place you ever visited or.

[A]

That's lame. You got to. You gotta have them roast you because then that will actually start people off on the right foot.

[B]

That's good. That's not a bad way. See, there's.

[A]

Say your name and. And roast. And roast me.

[B]

Yeah, that would be.

[C]

Although if I know what I've done to other people is you leave a ridiculous name like you call in and say you're Darth Vader or how many calling you say you're, you know, you're Donald Trump or whatever.

[A]

How many. How many friends of yours? How many of you have these virtual assistants?

[C]

I only know of one.

[B]

Is it that hard to just ignore the phone calls? Like they say potential spam on them, don't they?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, they do. But this way I just don't even have to hear it ring. So.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How much you pay a month for this service?

[C]

Nothing. I pay nothing included. With your iPhone, I have this ability.

[B]

Interesting.

[C]

On the new iOS update, guys.

[B]

Oh, looks like you gotta update our phone so we can.

[A]

Is fully over this.

[B]

Yeah, he's pissed. He's pissed. He's like, I came to belly up to the bar, have some drinks with my new buddies, and then they're. They're razzing me this early on.

[A]

All right, well, yeah, we'll move on, you know. Ooh, Charlie will try put it aside.

[B]

Yeah, no, I mean Talk about iPhone D2 anymore. We are just here for you.

[A]

What do you want to talk about today?

[C]

Me? Oh, well, I don't know if you guys listen to my voicemail at all.

[B]

But didn't give us the message.

[A]

Yeah, our virtual assistant didn't pass that along.

[C]

Yeah, it doesn't announce that quite to everybody.

[A]

No. So Jared. So Jared goes through the calls and he likes to keep us a little bit in the dark so it can be a genuine surprise about what you want to talk about. And so then it keeps the authenticity of the call. So we have not heard your voice.

[C]

Perfect.

[A]

But we'd love to know what it was about.

[C]

Yeah. So my girlfriend is fantastic. We haven't been dating very long yet, but I see a lot of potential with this woman. However, she happens to be 28 years older than me.

[A]

Whoa. That's Fine.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Dude, it's fine.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Hey, that's quite the gap, I will say. And I needed to talk to some professionals on.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

How I should handle this, if I should handle it.

[A]

You came to the right place. If you want good professional advice, just.

[B]

Talk to me a mile.

[A]

Just two professional guys. You know, we opened this call really professional.

[B]

Yep, we did.

[A]

You know, we didn't get pissed at you to start. Yeah, we're even keel level headed guys.

[B]

Accommodating. Offered you a drink.

[A]

So 28 years older, very objective and how, how we are never letting our emotions get in the way of good advice. How old are you?

[C]

I am 22.

[B]

You're 22. Okay, so let me do some math here. 22, 50 years old. 9, 10, 0. Put the one up there. 2, 3, 4, 5. That's 50 years old.

[A]

Did you go to her 50 year old birthday party?

[C]

No, I did not.

[B]

Well, this is cool, man. This is cool. You know, the, the, the cougars know how to party tell you that much right now. So. Yeah.

[C]

Charlie, have you ever heard this saying that, you know, you, you don't have to teach older woman. They, they teach you things.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Ever hear people say that?

[B]

Huh?

[C]

Let me tell you about that. There's a, A lot of truth, a lot of truth in that saying.

[B]

So you're getting into those.

[A]

So what, what have you been learning?

[C]

Oh, oh, guys, I couldn't tell you probably over the, over the phone, but why not? Some things, some things, this is an open communication. Great, great recipes that you probably wouldn't like me sharing.

[A]

I. It's so cryptic. What did you teach you in the sack? Is it a, is it a tongue motion? Is it, you know, what is it?

[C]

It's, it's not like an individual action. It's. It's just the whole, the whole shebang. Orchestra of events.

[B]

Orchestra.

[A]

Okay, so she's. I've never heard of that kink before.

[B]

She's conflicting, man.

[A]

So you, like, you're in the bedroom, you have a bow tie on nothing else, and you're holding a violin and playing it, and she's there using her wand and conducting the orchestra. Is that what you're saying this is? I've never heard of this one.

[C]

I mean, if that's how you guys want to interpret it.

[B]

You know what?

[C]

I wouldn't say you're too far off.

[B]

All right, so let's back it up. Let's back it up.

[A]

You know what this was like, Charlie? This is like being like, all right, I have this brilliant business idea and.

[B]

Then you're like, what is it?

[A]

It's actually proprietary, but if you invest, then I can show you it. It's like what this is right now. I want to know what the moves are.

[B]

Let's invest a little first. Okay. Let's take it a step back. Okay. All right, now I forgot. What is your name again?

[C]

Oh, I'm. I'm Ryan.

[B]

Ryan, nice to meet you. I'm Charlie. Right.

[A]

Miles.

[B]

Let's start from square one. This is my buddy, Miles. This is my buddy Miles.

[A]

Starting over.

[C]

Miles, also a pleasure.

[B]

It's fine. Let me show you how you the good stuff. No, you got.

[C]

I know the formalities.

[A]

You got a fancy little virtual assistant. I like that. That was a nice touch.

[B]

You're. You're a 22 year old with your life together. I can tell you got to be.

[A]

A CEO of something with that virtual assistant. I love it.

[B]

Now, we hear that you met a new gal. And by new gal, I mean middle aged gal. And I have a question. Where. Where did you guys meet?

[C]

We actually. We're on the same fire department.

[B]

Oh, you guys are both firefighters.

[A]

Okay, so she knows how to work a hose. What you're saying. Sorry, sorry. We're being professional.

[C]

She can work a hose. I've seen her work the hoses.

[B]

All right, that's cool.

[C]

Those ladders, she can throw a ladder up. Guys, I'm telling you.

[A]

Can she.

[B]

Good. Okay. All right. So you guys are both firefighters, or are you the receptionist?

[C]

What was your question there?

[B]

Are you both firefighters?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Okay, cool. And is this a volunteer firefighter or is this a paid firefighter?

[C]

Yeah, we're both volunteer.

[B]

Oh, okay. So we don't have to worry about any.

[A]

The chief isn't getting involved, being like, what are you guys doing? Shacking up.

[B]

Yeah. So he's just thankful you're there putting out the fires.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[C]

Yeah. If they get rid of us over something like that, I couldn't. I think they be shooting themselves hard enough time getting people as it is.

[B]

Yeah, it is. What town are we talking?

[C]

It's around Stevens Point.

[B]

Smart by not giving us the actual town, because God forbid. Yeah, it'll make sense to me.

[A]

You know that guy Stephen, right?

[B]

He's got a point.

[A]

He's got a point.

[B]

Yeah, and that's Steven's point. This is Charlie's point. If you can give me the actual town. Give me the actual town.

[C]

I'd rather not say the town.

[B]

That's fine. All right. I wouldn't.

[C]

I. I advise some sort of professional image to uphold as. As firefighters.

[B]

Okay, that's true. That's true. So. So let's talk about when you first met each other.

[A]

Does that. Does that extend to volunteers? I feel like I know some volunteer firemen, and I would not label them as professional.

[B]

Oh, they're professional.

[C]

No, no. There's definitely a lot of bad ones out there, I will say. But, you know, it's. It's up to us younger generations to. To keep the professionalism in it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like dating other volunteer fire men and women.

[C]

If that happens to happen. You know, it. I mean, it is what it is.

[B]

So you guys met. Tell me the first time you guys laid eyes on each other.

[C]

You know, honestly, I. I can't exactly remember it, but it was definitely at the fire station.

[B]

Cool. Got it. That's perfect.

[C]

I think. I think it was just a meeting night.

[B]

There was a meeting.

[C]

That's all it was. So I was in the.

[B]

You guys met at the meeting night?

[A]

It's really nice that our firemen and women are at the meeting talking about putting out fires, and instead they're doing googly eyes with each other.

[B]

You know, we don't know who did. Who did the googly eyes. Who hit on who first?

[C]

I don't know. I. We could. We could call that a draw.

[B]

You call it.

[C]

So we probably first met each other. I'll give you a little bit of a reason why. So we probably first met each other at the fire station in May of this year, maybe April, I can't remember. Sometime around there. And I'd say that we equally hit on each other about a month and a half ago or so, maybe two months.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Sometime in September.

[B]

You know how to tell a story, Ryan. You know how to let.

[C]

It's unfolding. It's unfolding.

[A]

I'm dying to know how you equally hit on each other. Like, did you. Was it a jinx situation?

[B]

We'll let him talk.

[C]

So. So what happened is. So we're. We're entry level firefighters right now, and we're going through fire school together to get our Firefighter 1 training and be certified as Firefighter 1. And so we orchestrated in the class a little motorcycle trip amongst us classmates, my girlfriend Anna and myself and some other classmates from other fire departments. We were going on a motorcycle trip before. Before winter. And everybody canceled except for me and her. And we ended up, you know, going on this motorcycle trip up north, did all the nice back roads throughout the. All the trees changing colors and whatnot. It was very scenic. And, you know, we stop at A bar. We have some drinks, get some food. We drive back and we're gassing up at the gas station, and we're pretty much home. We're in Stevens Point now. She's like, well. Well, now what? You know, we both didn't want the night to end, and so I suggested that we. We have some wine because I previously mentioned that I enjoyed wine. And I probed her a little bit to judge her interest. You know, maybe a month prior to this, you probed, asking her some. Some kind of, like, weird questions. Yeah, I was like, hey, you know, I. I enjoy wine. You seem like a girl that. That likes drinking wine. Could you give me some wine suggestions? And she did. And so knowing that she was pretty willing to go and have some wine, and it ended up being at my apartment, and, you know, things just kind of snowballed from there, so. And I. And now here, this is the point of the story where I could probably make up whatever I want because she doesn't remember that night at all. So I'll just say we had a lot of wine, because that is true. I think we had three bottles of wine that night. And then. I mean, she was trying to make.

[A]

Some.

[C]

Straightforward moves, and being the gentleman that I am, I. I put a stop to him because she was extremely drunk.

[B]

Good, Ryan. Stand up guy.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. So I. I made sure she didn't do anything that she might regret the next day. And that's kind of how the night kind of. It didn't end there. We still continued the night a little bit longer, talking and chatting with each other. And then eventually she went home. The next day, I get this. This massive text that, like, unveils everything that I was curious about, you know, if she was. She was interested in a relationship like that. And sure enough, she was. So that's. That's kind of how that started. You guys have any questions about that story? I think I covered it pretty good.

[B]

I'm just getting the visuals. Just doing the montage of your motorcycle trip, you know, you pulling out the.

[A]

So many cut scenes.

[B]

Pulling out, putting your nozzle in her gas tank, just popping the bottle, you know.

[A]

It wasn't hard to follow, I can tell you that much. Yeah, Yeah, I think I got every detail.

[B]

Yep, sure did.

[C]

Perfect.

[B]

So Anna is her name and she rides a Harley. Huh.

[A]

So, Charlie, I want you to tell that story. Let's just.

[C]

For the list, I ride a Honda.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

He did that story pretty quick. So for those that maybe missed the story, can you just.

[B]

Oh, yeah, Ryan. And Anna went on a motorcycle ride. They went back to his place, they drank three bottles of wine. Ryan's a gentleman, so he said, no, you can't ask the deal. And. And then she sent a text the next morning saying how much she wanted to.

[A]

There we go.

[C]

So, Ryan. Oh, I. I don't even know why I bothered telling it.

[B]

No, it was fun. You really painted a great picture. You painted a picture, and then we watched it dry.

[C]

I've never heard that before. Yeah, I planted the grass and you watched it grow.

[B]

Yes, yes, exactly.

[A]

When you started that story, the tree was a little sapling, and now it's a. It's a redwood.

[B]

There you go.

[A]

We love you, Ryan. Yeah, Ryan, we're actually happy that you're finding love.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So how's it been going since. Since that wonderful evening?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It was sometime early September. It's. It's been going, like, really, really good. I. I couldn't believe how good it's going. I'm no relationship expert. I've had a couple relationships in the past, but this is, you know, sorry to any exes listening out on the show, but, I mean, she. She blows them out of the water, like, complete. It's not even a competition.

[B]

Sorry, exes. And he used blows as the preferred verb there.

[A]

I love the way your brain works, Ryan. I love it.

[C]

She's told me that before, too.

[A]

Oh, man. So what are the best things about dating a woman in her 50s?

[C]

All right, so, yeah, she. I mean, she has her. Together. She. She's been through life. She know how life. Life go, or. She knows how life goes, and completely independent. I can stay completely independent, but just, you know, being together, it's. It's nicer. I don't have to worry about her at all. She doesn't have to worry about me at all. That's pretty sweet. That's. That's probably the biggest thing.

[B]

Does she have kids?

[C]

She does have kids.

[A]

So your insta dad.

[C]

She has three kids.

[B]

Wow. How old are they?

[C]

The son is one son is 28. The daughter is 23, and she has another son that's 14.

[B]

Have you ever seen the Graduate?

[C]

I haven't.

[B]

Oh, you should watch it. Have you met her daughter?

[C]

I will meet her next week.

[B]

Are you kidding me, dude? Yes.

[A]

So, yeah. What's that. What's that gonna be like? You think. You think they're cool with you or are they weirded out or.

[C]

What is it next week? I'm pretty sure it might be the week after.

[A]

Yeah, it'll matter.

[C]

It's next week. Yeah, it's next week.

[A]

Not a big deal.

[B]

Oh, for. Thanks.

[C]

Thanksgiving. No idea how it's gonna go.

[B]

Thanksgiving. You're spent. You met this, you started. You guys started a relationship a month ago and now you're going to her Thanksgiving?

[C]

I. I am.

[B]

With her children that are older than you.

[C]

That's correct.

[B]

Let's go. This is awesome. Can I come?

[C]

I've already met her 14 year old son because obviously you guys play Fortnite together.

[A]

No.

[C]

No.

[A]

Play Minecraft, then Roblox.

[C]

No, I don't. I don't really play video games and I really don't know what he plays.

[A]

That's okay.

[B]

You ride a motorcycle, dude. You don't need video games and you got a motorcycle.

[C]

I'm already a badass when you got.

[B]

That hog rumbling between your legs there, Ryan. Don't shake your head at me, Miles.

[C]

Yeah, I don't, I don't have a nice beat twin, but I got a really nice Honda Goldwing.

[B]

Let me tell you, that's exactly the motorcycle.

[A]

All right, Ryan, we're gonna role play with you a little bit, mostly.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Well, yeah, it's not so much a role play. We want to know what, what's, what's going to be your strategy going into Thanksgiving? You know, maybe. Okay, so you just come over. Well, that's what we're doing right now. So you're coming over for Thanksgiving. What are you bringing and what are you going to do when you greet everybody?

[C]

I'm bringing pumpkin pie.

[A]

Smart. Everyone loves it.

[C]

I make a. I make a really good pumpkin pie.

[B]

I had a feeling then.

[C]

It's. I've had some competitions at the fire class too. We had, we had a pumpkin pie competition and I won.

[B]

So congratulations, Ryan. That's. That's awesome.

[C]

So pumpkin pie, that's what I'm bringing. Greetings. Probably gonna walk in and just say, you know, hey, everybody, how's it, how's it going? You know, to anybody who might be listening across the house, I'm not gonna yell it, but.

[A]

That's smart because like, last thing you want to do is be. Be known as the loudmouth first impression.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So anyone within earshot at a good volume.

[C]

That's exactly right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Do you know what you're walking into, Ryan? Do you know the intel? Like, does. Does her old like you? Do they know about you?

[C]

My intelligence gathering. Yeah. So the older son seems to not care that much. The quote I have is, is, meh. Is the level of care. The daughter seems to be more protective I think she's just worried about my intentions. I'm not worried about my intentions because obviously I know my intentions.

[A]

Which are. What are your intentions?

[B]

With my mother.

[A]

With my mother is what she's gonna ask. And what are you gonna say?

[C]

My. My intentions are to. To spend a long, meaningful time together with. I don't know if I should use. If I'm addressing the daughter. I feel like I have to say. With your mother?

[A]

Yeah. I wouldn't. What else would you.

[C]

And just experience life together.

[B]

Have you seen a picture of the daughter?

[C]

I know what she looks like. Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Is she. Is she the younger version of your girlfriend?

[C]

Maybe? I. I haven't seen what my girlfriend looked like at that age, but I. I would say it's not too obvious or too close, so it wouldn't be like a.

[B]

If the daughter started to come on to you, would you be tempted by the fruit of another.

[C]

No, not at all.

[B]

Okay, so her daughter's not your type because she doesn't have her.

[C]

I wouldn't think so.

[B]

Okay. Way too young, huh? Way too young.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. All right.

[A]

All right. Well, so you've walked in the door, Ryan, and you said, hey, everybody, how's it going? And plus or minus some decibels on that. Not too loud, not too quiet. And they say, hey, Ryan, how's it going? You know, what's the conversation you're gonna strike up after that?

[C]

I'm gonna say I'm finer than the hair on a frog's ass.

[B]

Nice. All right, this is gonna go awesome.

[C]

I'm gonna go right into small talk because I have no idea what their interests are. So we'll go straight into the weather. So good. Continuing the role play here. I mean, gosh, you guys just. I couldn't believe it. Yesterday. I was sitting in my closet all day doing it work, and I go outside at the end of the day and I got two more inches of snow on the ground. When I was driving home, I couldn't believe it.

[B]

Yeah, that was crazy. So, you know, I like how you're.

[A]

Talking to them like you are 50. Like they're the same age as you. You can just talk to them about normal 22 year old stuff. You know, I.

[C]

That's. I don't know whether the shit I talk about. I couldn't believe how dense the fog was driving home yesterday. I couldn't see 50ft in front of my car.

[B]

Are you kidding me? 50 foot? Real good thing you weren't on that Honda, that Gold Wing dude, if Charles.

[C]

Just in my Honda Accord.

[A]

If Charlie was your future step kid, you guys would get along so good. So good.

[B]

I kind of. Can I come to Thanksgiving?

[C]

You know, I. I don't want to speak for her, but I can probably safely assume that we wouldn't be opposed.

[B]

Okay. Okay, cool.

[A]

At first I thought it was. She was gonna turn you down, and then. Then I thought, then it was like, yes, and then no, and then, yeah.

[B]

He'S just got a way of talking.

[A]

I can see just on the edge of my seat.

[C]

I. You know, Charlie, I honestly think that you would fit in a lot better than I'm about to next week.

[B]

Hey, I'm. I'm gonna be the icebreaker for you, man. I'm gonna. I'm gonna come in and make sure everyone's playing nice. I'm gonna take away any awkward conversations. Let's bring your folks to. Speaking of your folks, Ryan.

[A]

Yeah, There we go.

[B]

Do they know about this?

[C]

Nope. No.

[B]

How do you think they would react?

[C]

Well, I think my father would be at first confused. Probably would end up in developing disappointment. Although I could say that probably about anything I tell him. You know, all fathers just seem to be disappointed with. With what their kids do.

[A]

That's what life's about. My mother, just disappoint your parents till they die and you die.

[B]

That's it.

[C]

That's. That's right. My mother, I actually think, would find it hilarious. I think she truly would be like, brian, that's. That's awesome. Keep going with it. That's probably what she'll tell me.

[A]

I like that. What are you. What are they going to do when they're like, hey, we're cooking turkey and lunch is at noon. And you're like, oh, actually I'm not going to be there on Thanksgiving. What's your plan? That's how you're going to break it to them?

[C]

I actually will be at my normal family Thanksgiving and Anna's Thanksgiving. Anna does hers on Wednesday, so.

[A]

Oh, that's great.

[C]

It works out great.

[B]

Are you going to be spending.

[C]

I was thinking about that. Like, how do I break it to my parents? Do I just say, hey, could I bring my girlfriend over for Thanksgiving? And then she just shows up and I just done everybody but I bring this 50 year old.

[B]

Yeah. Are you going to invite her to your. You're getting invited to her Thanksgiving. You've got to reciprocate. Yeah.

[C]

I think we both mutually agreed that it wouldn't happen this year.

[B]

Okay, got it. Got it. Fair enough. Christmas, if this goes good. Do you think you can bring her to Christmas.

[C]

I think we also determined. Not this year.

[B]

Okay, yeah, let it. Let it play out. Are you going to be spending the night there at Thanksgiving?

[C]

Yet to be decided, but I haven't thought that far.

[A]

It depends how much wine they drink.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It would be with all of her kids because they are staying as well because they. They live out of town.

[A]

Well, you could do. Dude, that's actually great. You do a little slumber party and you bring everyone matching jammies and you guys can all like have movie night at the end of the night.

[B]

Bad idea. A little slumber party.

[A]

Good.

[B]

He just brings lunch ready for Anna.

[A]

And here's some jammies for you, sweetheart.

[B]

So, Ryan. What. What do you guys. I can't do.

[A]

What about kids? You don't want kids or what? Elephant in the room.

[C]

Yeah, I'm. So my plan has kind of been for the past maybe four or five years, that I just die alone.

[A]

Okay, past four or five years. So since he was 17 years old.

[B]

17, you've been thinking about dying alone? Why is that, Ryan?

[C]

Oh, I wasn't thinking about it. That's just like. That's what my expectations have been.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

You know, it's all right. I'm just gonna. I'm just gonna get some land, I'm gonna throw a camper on it, and I'm gonna die alone with a dog. That's. That's. That's the life that I envisioned for myself for. For a few years now. So anything that happens besides that, you know, it's kind of just a bonus.

[A]

That's right. That's Peter LaFleur from. From Dodgeball.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

If you don't. If you don't set goals, then you can't be disappointed. See, if you have low expectations, never be disappointed.

[B]

Set the bar low, you can walk right over it.

[C]

Yeah, that's. That's like my motto of life.

[A]

You're living it, dude.

[B]

So what about her ex husband? Do we know? Do we. How long has that been? Not a thing.

[C]

Was it. You know, the timeline gets a little fuzzy for me. Oh, I think it was.

[B]

Did you reckon it was either?

[C]

No, no. It's been multiple years.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I'm trying to remember how many. I can't remember. It was like either might have been four or more than that.

[A]

Yeah, but they got divorced, right?

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Did he.

[B]

Do you know the story there? Did. Did he maybe leave her for a younger woman?

[C]

I. No, I. I don't know the story. Didn't really care too much.

[B]

Okay. Have you Seen. Okay. I just wanted to see. Maybe you were retaliatory situation there. I don't know.

[C]

No, again, you know, if. If she. It's. It's my low expectations, Charlie. If she wants to leave me, I guess that's the way it is. And I'm gonna keep on living, so.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Does. Does your girlfriend know about your hot virtual assistant? Because that could be a good question. Could be an issue.

[C]

My. My virtual assistant? No, the. The lady that. Was it a lady? I. I've never called myself.

[B]

You should call yourself at some point. See how fricking annoying she is.

[C]

I doubt she'll be jealous of my virtual assistant. Although I was thinking about it. When she dies, because she's 28 years older than me, I should. I should make her into, like a robot. I'm sure the technology will be there.

[B]

Then bring it up on Thanksgiving, dude. Bring it up. First conversation with her daughter. First conversation with her daughter.

[A]

That wasn't like a. Oh, that gave me an idea. You said, I've been thinking.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

When my girlfriend dies. Cause she's.

[C]

It gave me an idea. Let's back it up a little bit. Let's fix our mistake.

[B]

What are your intentions with my mom? Well, as soon as she croaks, I'm planning on making her a robot.

[A]

I'm gonna make her into a robot. Yeah.

[C]

You know, that way I don't have to be so alone, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Smart.

[C]

But I guess if I'm alone, I'm alone. It is what it is.

[B]

Well, you're planning on it. Oh, boy. And, well. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay. Well. Ryan. Yeah? I think it's good. I don't know what Charlie and I helped you with, but I'm glad we able to talk it out. I actually think your plan is pretty good for Thanksgiving. I think you got a solid plan.

[C]

And I think it's pretty good.

[A]

Yeah, we're excited.

[C]

As long as the pie is good, I think it'll just go seamlessly.

[B]

I may have to skip out on my girlfriend's Thanksgiving to come to this. Thanksgiving. It. I may have to do that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, I could. I could propose it again. I'm not the one orchestrating it, but maybe we do just a big old combined one, you know?

[A]

Yeah. Charlie. I think it more weird. Yeah, let's. Let's take your family and his and just do one big Thanksgiving.

[B]

That'd be fine.

[A]

Why don't you do that?

[B]

That'd be fun. That'd be great.

[A]

I think your whole family would go for that.

[B]

I think.

[C]

I mean, isn't that what these. These holidays are all about? Making the. The entire family uncomfortable in new ways every year?

[A]

Well, it's actually about giving thanks.

[C]

And.

[A]

Jesus is actually, you know, holidays in general, but. All right, Ryan. Well, have fun at Thanksgiving. It was great talking to you, dude. And, yeah, we're excited for you, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Love is love. It don't matter. The age.

[C]

Yes, that's what I was thinking. Yep.

[B]

Well, good, Good. Hopefully she orchestrates for your Thanksgiving evening too, to bring it all back home.

[C]

I'm sure. I'm sure we'll get something out of it.

[B]

All right, my guy. Will you be good? Okay.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Yeah. You guys take care. Watch out for the ice out there. It's starting to get cold now.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. Make sure you winterize your motorcycle. All right.

[A]

All right. See ya.

[C]

Oh, I sure will.

[B]

Okay, bye. Bye, Miles. Oh, you should. We were just dentists on that call, pulling teeth.

[A]

Oh, man. He seems like a great guy.

[B]

Great guy.

[A]

But, yeah, I mean, even if you are starting to make snarky comments, you know, that the stories are getting long, you know, because that's usually my role.

[B]

Was I. Did I make a snarky comment?

[A]

Yeah. Well, not like mean mean, but you told them that listening to him was like watching paint dry. So, like, if you're doing it, we know it's bad.

[B]

Like, I mean, it's almost. It's a great cadence, you know, that guy, he should just tell stories.

[A]

And I'm a little concerned because he seems like he's like a. He doesn't have a sense of urgency. Worried that he's a firefighter, you know, great guy.

[B]

Could you imagine?

[A]

I'm sure he'd be a great insta dad to those kids, but if he's on call and your house is going down.

[B]

Laughs.

[A]

You're not getting any valuables.

[B]

We're gonna watch the paint burn.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right, Ryan. Well, appreciate you calling.

[B]

Do appreciate that. Good luck to you and Anna. I would pay so much to be at that Thanksgiving.

[C]

Hey, Miles and Char, this is Nick. I'm 32 and I need to help with tattoo idea. I want to get chicken wings on my back. Like how you would get angel wings. And I just kind of want to know your opinion on that because I really want to do it.

[B]

Yes. Yes.

[A]

Chicken wings instead of angel wings.

[B]

What he said as a tramp stamp, please.

[A]

Yeah. So, like, are we. You think we're talking, like, buffalo wild wings wings? Like. Like deep fried chicken wings?

[B]

I was imagining like the spread of a chicken's wings.

[A]

I know. Imagining he just tattoos chicken wings with barbecue sauce on them on his back.

[B]

I'm imagining a decorative spread, like for turkey feathers, you know? But I guess you don't really do it with the wings anyways. Yeah, he's probably talking about an actual chicken wing. You know, I. I'm all for it. I'm all for it.

[A]

How much money would I have to.

[B]

Give you to do a chicken wing?

[A]

Where to get chicken wings in it? Just like Zach tattoo. He's thinking about how much money it.

[B]

Will wear on my body.

[A]

On his back. On your back?

[B]

On my back. Like, is a tramp stamp.

[A]

No, like. Like on your shoulders. Like, it looked like wigs.

[B]

A chicken wing is way too easy to look like a wiener, though. Like, it's way too.

[A]

The question was, how much money?

[B]

How much money?

[A]

I'm not making you do this.

[B]

I would say 50, $60, max. Okay. Really? If I'm being real, Miles, if I'm being real, how much would you have to give for a chicken wing?

[A]

I mean, mine's a lot.

[B]

Yeah, it's tough to make that look cool. Like, that's.

[A]

I'm talking, like, at least a million bucks.

[B]

Oh, really? I was thinking, like, 10,000.

[A]

It's just on your body forever.

[B]

Yeah, maybe a million.

[A]

It's kind of funny, though. It is funny. Yeah. And I'm, like, getting to the age now where I'm just. I'm not popping the top off that much, you know?

[B]

That's true.

[A]

In your 20s, you got your shirt off all the time. You know, you're young, you're fit. Now I'm starting to get hairy and saggy.

[B]

Where's your hairiest place.

[A]

You'Ll Charlie? What's my favorite beer bush?

[B]

Oh, hey, you can get a chicken wing right next to your cock, Miles. That'd be good. Get it? Chicken cock. You get it? Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. And given that 10,000 bucks, because who's going to see it?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So you could drop yours from a million to 10,000. You just get a little Brazil. Get that tatted on there. Let it let the. You know, let it throw back. No one's gonna know you made 10 GS just like that.

[A]

Yeah, that was not what the original thing was. You're saying it like.

[B]

Oh, you're right. You're talking about the back now.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Well, I. You gotta send us a picture of this dude because we gotta share this. What's his name again? Nick. Sounds like a thing a Nick would do, you know? I like it. I like it. Nick. We. We. We approve of this deal. Make it a tram, stamp.

[A]

That it's Jared. Is that all we got? All right, guys.

[B]

Well, Miles, we had another great episode today. It's been fun. Another fun day is always good luck with the Rubik's Cube. Okay. And what were you gonna do again? I don't know. Projects. I didn't think of a good one.

[A]

Your loon call?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, my loon call. That's right. I'll work on my loon call, you work on your Rubik's Cube, and Ryan will work on Anna. Wow. That should be the new sound. We should. We don't have a theme song. We should make that our theme song.

[A]

Or transition in between.

[B]

Yeah, let's make that a transition. That'd be great.

[A]

All right, guys, remember to tip your bartender. We'll see you next one.

[C]

Okay. Hope you guys have a good one.

[A]

Goodbye now.

[C]

Oodaloo.