Bellied Up Podcast Episode #168
"How to Get Banned From a Family Reunion"
Hosts: Charlie Berens & Myles (“You Betcha Guy”)
Date: September 18, 2025
Episode Overview
In this classic, off-the-rails episode, Charlie and Myles belly up at Burnsy’s Bar in West Dallas, Wisconsin, joined by Emmy-winning comedian Charlie Berens, for another hilarious round of Midwestern stories, live calls, and bad advice. The main theme: the questionable art of getting yourself (or your favorite dish) banned from your family reunion. Along the way, encounters with colorful locals and aspiring entrepreneurs, plus an epic relationship postmortem and entrepreneurial brainstorming for an organic soap business, round out an episode rich in laughs, banter, and unexpected Midwest wisdom.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Barroom Confessions: Tommy and Relationship Woes (00:00 – 07:19)
- Meet Tommy (00:00): Bar regular Tommy (or Tom — depends if you want the joke) is introduced as a semi-retired, early-morning golfer with a fresh relationship trauma.
- Live Relationship Drama (00:27): Tommy confesses he was dumped by his girlfriend Hope during his morning golf round, reading out a lengthy and emotional text exchange for the hosts.
- Comic Relief: The guys roast Tommy and his ex's texting habits ("She doesn't have an iPhone. Huge red flag." - Myles, 02:10).
- Authenticity: Tommy’s tale is so raw and unfiltered, it pulls the hosts into a comparison of their own romantic misadventures.
- Notable Quote:
- “She texted me… Don't talk to me ever again.” – Tommy (01:30)
- “First of all, she doesn’t have an iPhone. Huge red flag.” – Myles (02:10)
- Resolution: Tommy’s break-up interrupts his front nine golf holes (07:09), but he leaves with advice to find someone who won't dump him mid-swing.
- Tone: Light-hearted, comically self-deprecating, distinctly Midwestern in its handling of heartbreak with humor and community.
2. How to Get Banned from a Family Reunion: Gerald's Diabolical Plan (09:55 – 29:09)
- Gerald’s Call (09:55): Gerald wants to sabotage the family’s green bean casserole tradition at his Indiana family reunion.
- Family Reunion Food Politics (11:02 – 14:17): Detailed breakdown of the family reunion food ritual—brat cooking etiquette, side dish competitions, and an excess of green bean casseroles.
- Gerald’s Mission:
- He plans to bring a guinea pig (Ecuadorian delicacy, cuy) served atop a green bean casserole to traumatize family members, ruin the dish for everyone, and potentially get himself banned from reunions.
- Scenarios Outlined:
- Gerald gets banned
- Green bean casserole gets banned
- Both get banned
- Family loves it, and he inadvertently starts a guinea pig trend (18:32)
- Wild Story: Gerald previously shocked coworkers by bringing a fully intact, cooked guinea pig to a work potluck (16:18).
- Notable Quotes:
- “Green bean casserole resembles bull semen with green beans floating in it, covered with the toenails of a thousand corpses.” – Gerald (11:04)
- “You do not tell the grill master when to flip the burgers…” – Gerald (12:52)
- “I have a feeling like you’re going to be opening up a restaurant soon called The Guinea Pig and that’s all you’re serving.” – Myles (26:01)
- Host Reactions: Charlie and Myles delight in Gerald's guile, calling him “Midwest royalty” for his creative plotting (22:51, 23:13).
- Comedy Gold: The ethical, cultural, and culinary implications of guinea pig as a dish spawn riffing about pet-themed restaurants and Midwest culinary fusion.
- Advice:
- “I say roll the dice. Fry the guinea pig.” – Charlie (24:34)
- “Push all your chips to the center table and go all in on this idea.” – Myles (24:46)
- Follow-Up: Gerald promises to document next year’s reunion for a “bellied update.”
3. Entrepreneurial Soap Talk with Kara (33:27 – 60:09)
- Introduction (33:27): Kara, a would-be entrepreneur, calls seeking help naming her organic soap business.
- Name Brainstorm:
- Myles and Charlie suggest “Soap, Sorry” as a clever, Midwest-inspired name—playing on polite Canadian/Upper Midwest speech.
- Comic Interlude: Myles points out Charlie’s “hamburger pits” as a target market (36:28).
- Chemistry Lessons:
- Kara, pressed for an explanation, explains saponification, the process of soap making, and discusses the key ingredient: lye.
- “It’s hard for me to talk chemistry to you guys because that’s not what your podcast is about.” – Kara (51:39)
- Branding Banter:
- Hosts push for “manly” scents (pine, sandalwood, tobacco, “wood ash”), predicting success at Midwestern farmers markets with appropriately rugged marketing (43:09+).
- “Put it on a rope, we are always…scrub a dub with the rope too.” – Charlie (55:38)
- Business Coaching:
- Myles encourages her to focus on action: “I need you to be a doer, not a donter… a lot of don’t in going on, and I need a lot of doing.” (59:04)
- Advice on packaging, selling in-person at farmers markets, and embracing handmade/local/organic buzzwords.
- Notable Quote:
- “Wash your ash with wood ash.” – Charlie (52:25)
- Resolution: Kara is convinced to start with “Soap, Sorry” and focus on both online and farmers market sales.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “I think you just gave the punchline there.” – Charlie, after Gerald’s lamb fries description (20:30)
- “Maybe you need some organic soap scented with essential oils.” – Kara, pitching her product after Myles complains about Charlie’s pits (37:00)
- “If you want to sell some soap, put it on a rope.” – Charlie’s classic push for soap-on-a-rope (55:38)
- “Just remember: handmade, local, organic, fair trade—make sure they’re all on your sign.” – Charlie (57:46)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- 00:00 – 07:19 | Tommy’s Relationship Meltdown & Golf Ruined
- 09:55 – 29:09 | Gerald’s Call: How to Get Banned from the Reunion
- 11:04 | The Cursed Green Bean Casserole Description
- 16:18 | The Guinea Pig Workplace Potluck Story
- 18:32 | The Four Scenarios
- 22:51 | Ceremony of the Grill Master, Midwest Food Rituals
- 23:13 | Host Wisdom and Encouragement
- 33:27 – 60:09 | Kara’s Organic Soap Business Call
- 36:28 | Marketing to Manly “Hamburger Pits”
- 43:09 | Product Scent & Branding Strategies
- 52:25 | “Wash your ash with wood ash” branding
- 59:04 | Doer vs. Donter Pep Talk
Recurring Tone & Style
- Friendly, quick-witted ribbing and Midwestern politeness are ever-present.
- Charlie plays the supportive-yet-self-deprecating “nice guy,” while Myles is the hard-nosed, fire-under-your-seat motivator.
- The show’s brand of comedy walks a line between genuine problem-solving and tongue-in-cheek advice, all rooted in small-town barroom camaraderie.
For Listeners New & Old
Whether you’re in it for the therapy (relationship or family-reunion-style) or the entrepreneurial kick in the pants, Episode #168 serves up the classic Bellied Up blend: everyday hilarity, heartfelt Midwestern insight, and at least one plan you should probably never try at home.