Bellied Up Podcast #179

Episode: "She Married a Guy With a Secret Second Family"
Hosts: Charlie Berens & Myles (You Betcha Guy)
Date: December 11, 2025
Setting: Live from a brand-new QuickStar gas station in Fargo, ND

Main Theme / Purpose

This episode delivers the classic small-town Midwest banter of Bellied Up: Charlie and Myles riff and roast each other, swap stories about Midwest culture, and take live calls from listeners grappling with everything from relationship uncertainty to wild family histories. The central theme revolves around evaluating gut feelings about relationships—how do you know when to trust your instincts, especially after wild betrayals (like secret second families)? The guys combine humor, authentic advice, and some off-the-wall segments (including a coin-toss proposal verdict) to make for a raucous, wide-ranging episode.

Episode Breakdown & Key Segments

1. Bellied Up at the QuickStar [00:00–13:19]

• Banter and Setting: Charlie and Myles open "bellied up" at a high-top inside a newly opening Fargo QuickStar. They riff about Midwest trends arriving late, the importance of gas stations as real community centers, and what old men drink during early mornings ("this is the table where old men will drink coffee and talk... some in bibs, some in business attire." — Charlie [17:08]).
• Apocalypse Scenario: They joke about what two items they'd loot from a convenience store in the apocalypse.
  • Quote: “Energy drink and some hot food. You’re done. You’re toast.” — Charlie [06:12]
  • Quote: “Kids have the best chance. They’re nimble! They can hide. Their bones are flexible!” — Charlie [06:47]
• Midwestern Rivalries: QuickStar arriving in ND, JNCO jeans coming back into style, and playful ribbing about North Dakota vs. Wisconsin.

2. Caller Segment 1: From Mafia Bosses to Marriage Proposals [25:30–55:04]

Matthew from Long Island Calls In

• Workplace Rants: He details his wild, incompetent, and possibly intoxicated ex-boss from a rock crushing company, and schemes with Charlie and Myles about taking over (joking about involving the mafia).

  • Quote: “He comes in there, screams and yells like we’re in high school.” — Matthew [27:04]
  • Quote: “I was looking for another job before I got told I had to go to the training, and I found one.” — Matthew [31:20]

• Relationship Dilemma: Should He Propose?

  • Background: Together 4 years, but he’s young (23), she’s young (22), and there are quirks—she can be controlling in the car, dislikes all his friends, lives at home, and is starting a long road through nursing school.
  • Quote: “I think the normal things is driving down the road and she won't shut up if I'm driving.” — Matthew [36:52]
  • Quote: “She doesn’t like any single one of my friends.” — Matthew [39:08]
  • Notable Discussion Points:
    • Is she exceptional or just normally “difficult”?
    • Small friend circles, future in-laws, and Midwest vs. East Coast living dreams.
    • Her tendency to change her hair color a lot—red flag or just playful?
    • Coin Flip Decides Fate: The trio flips a nicotine pouch tin to decide if he should propose ("heads: propose, tails: don’t"). It lands twice in a row tails, and Matthew’s visible disappointment becomes the actual answer.
    • Quote: “See, that’s the real test. How did it feel in your soul when you heard the result?” — Charlie [51:57]
    • Host’s Wisdom: The guys point out his calling suggests hesitance, but don’t outright discourage him. They recommend patience, letting brains finish developing, and working through uncertainty together.

3. Mini-Segment: Holiday Legal Tips with Russell Nicolet [56:37–60:34]

• Frequent Holiday Injuries: Russell explains his law firm gets more calls about bar fights and deer collisions than anything else during the holidays.
  • Quote: "We tried to sue the deer before, but it just never works out real well." — Russell [57:29]
  • Midwest Wisdom: "Ignore it long enough, it'll just work itself out." — Charlie [58:39]
• Legal Disclaimer/Juris Doctor Joke: Russell offers a tongue-in-cheek disclaimer not to follow their medical (or legal) advice.

4. Caller Segment 2: The Dad, the Divorce, and the Short King [61:03–88:41]

Rich from Denver Calls In—His Daughter’s Relationship Gut-Check

• Backstory:
  • First Husband Disaster: His daughter’s first husband led a double life, disappearing from their rehearsal dinner to attend the birth of a child with another woman.
    • Quote: "He disappeared on the day of the rehearsal dinner because his second family mama was going into labor." — Rich [63:12]
  • Host Reactions: Charlie and Myles are floored, joke about the logistics of having two families, and marvel at the layered family drama.
• Current Worries: Rich's daughter is now with a new, seemingly good guy, but Rich can't shake his unease—possibly due to past trauma.
  • Rich’s strategies: takes him to sporting events, pays attention to body language (is he a “boob guy”?), and even runs a background check.
  • Quote: "He's really good about eye contact... I also look at, when we're in public, what's he looking at?" — Rich [75:16]
• Notable Roasting Moments:
  • The new fiancé is 5'1" and Rich is 6'4"; the hosts and Rich riff endlessly on “short king” jokes and wedding-day sight gags.
    • "She could just put him in her purse… the wife's got his balls in her purse, she just puts the whole guy in there!" — Myles [76:40]
    • “He’s just two inches shy of being an Oompa Loompa.” — Rich [80:09]
  • Rich brings up the notion that women often marry men similar to their father—Myles delivers the hardest ribbing on that.
• Resolution:
  • The hosts find no real red flags after Rich details the relationship history and his daughter’s happiness; both conclude he’s dealing with "PTSD from the last guy" but nothing alarming now.
  • Host Wisdom: “Unless this guy turns out to be Jeffrey Dahmer… it can’t be worse than the last guy!” — Myles [83:28]
• Heartfelt Thank You [86:14]: Rich shares how the podcast helped him through a devastating accident and rehab, deeply moving both hosts.
  • Quote: “The humor you guys do… totally helped me… even the darkest situations.” — Rich [88:26]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Apocalyptic Preparedness:

  • “Tums are tasty.” — Charlie [08:46]
  • “You’re a dip your big toe into the apocalypse, and I’m a cannonball right in.” — Myles [09:27]

• On Relationship Doubt:

  • “The fact that you’re calling a podcast to ask if you should marry her? That’s… an amber flag at least.” — Myles [45:03]
  • “If she becomes a hairdresser, I am long gone.” — Matthew [48:08]

• Searing Divorce Details:

  • “He had a whole other second family. He disappeared on the rehearsal the day of the rehearsal dinner because his second family mama was going into labor.” — Rich [63:01]
  • “The dad did the same thing to his mom.” — Rich [64:41]

• Short King Comedy Gold:

  • “He’s just two inches shy of being an Oompa Loompa.” — Rich [80:09]
  • “Short guys get a lot of girls, but a lot of girls are sexist on height.” — Charlie [79:01]

• On Complimenting Midwesterners:

  • “It’s tough, man… that’s just the Midwest way. Hands sweaty, you know?” — Myles [90:22]

Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|----------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00–13:19| Banter at QuickStar, Midwest trends, apocalypse game | | 25:30–55:04| Matthew from Long Island—Boss stories & proposal dilemma | | 36:52 | "She doesn’t like any single one of my friends" (Matthew)| | 51:57 | “See, that’s the real test…” (Charlie, post coin-toss) | | 56:37–60:34| Holiday legal advice with Russell Nicolet | | 61:03–88:41| Rich from Denver—second family bombshell, short king jokes| | 63:12 | “Disappeared on rehearsal… second family went into labor”| | 80:09 | “He’s just two inches shy of being an Oompa Loompa.” | | 88:26 | Rich’s heartfelt thanks to the podcast | | 90:22 | Midwest compliment awkwardness |

Overall Tone & Style

The episode perfectly balances Midwest sensibility, harrowing family drama, and outright absurd, affectionate roasting. Myles and Charlie maintain their signature blend of dry wit, self-deprecation, and sincere advice—whether they’re flipping a tin for a marriage proposal or helping a worried father-in-law unpack his trauma.

Summary:
This episode will have you laughing at Midwest quirks, gasping at wild relationship revelations, and maybe, like the hosts, feeling a rare twinge of earnestness by the end. Whether it’s learning about secret second families, the politics of dating short kings, or whether to trust your gut before a proposal, Bellied Up again proves that all of life’s best advice can be had “at the bar”—or sometimes, inside a Fargo gas station.