She Married a Guy With a Secret Second Family #179

Summary

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Bellied Up Podcast #179

Episode: "She Married a Guy With a Secret Second Family"
Hosts: Charlie Berens & Myles (You Betcha Guy)
Date: December 11, 2025
Setting: Live from a brand-new QuickStar gas station in Fargo, ND

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Main Theme / Purpose

This episode delivers the classic small-town Midwest banter of Bellied Up: Charlie and Myles riff and roast each other, swap stories about Midwest culture, and take live calls from listeners grappling with everything from relationship uncertainty to wild family histories. The central theme revolves around evaluating gut feelings about relationships—how do you know when to trust your instincts, especially after wild betrayals (like secret second families)? The guys combine humor, authentic advice, and some off-the-wall segments (including a coin-toss proposal verdict) to make for a raucous, wide-ranging episode.

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Episode Breakdown & Key Segments

1. Bellied Up at the QuickStar [00:00–13:19]

• Banter and Setting: Charlie and Myles open "bellied up" at a high-top inside a newly opening Fargo QuickStar. They riff about Midwest trends arriving late, the importance of gas stations as real community centers, and what old men drink during early mornings ("this is the table where old men will drink coffee and talk... some in bibs, some in business attire." — Charlie [17:08]).
• Apocalypse Scenario: They joke about what two items they'd loot from a convenience store in the apocalypse.
  • Quote: “Energy drink and some hot food. You’re done. You’re toast.” — Charlie [06:12]
  • Quote: “Kids have the best chance. They’re nimble! They can hide. Their bones are flexible!” — Charlie [06:47]
• Midwestern Rivalries: QuickStar arriving in ND, JNCO jeans coming back into style, and playful ribbing about North Dakota vs. Wisconsin.

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2. Caller Segment 1: From Mafia Bosses to Marriage Proposals [25:30–55:04]

Matthew from Long Island Calls In

• Workplace Rants: He details his wild, incompetent, and possibly intoxicated ex-boss from a rock crushing company, and schemes with Charlie and Myles about taking over (joking about involving the mafia).

  • Quote: “He comes in there, screams and yells like we’re in high school.” — Matthew [27:04]
  • Quote: “I was looking for another job before I got told I had to go to the training, and I found one.” — Matthew [31:20]

• Relationship Dilemma: Should He Propose?

  • Background: Together 4 years, but he’s young (23), she’s young (22), and there are quirks—she can be controlling in the car, dislikes all his friends, lives at home, and is starting a long road through nursing school.
  • Quote: “I think the normal things is driving down the road and she won't shut up if I'm driving.” — Matthew [36:52]
  • Quote: “She doesn’t like any single one of my friends.” — Matthew [39:08]
  • Notable Discussion Points:
    • Is she exceptional or just normally “difficult”?
    • Small friend circles, future in-laws, and Midwest vs. East Coast living dreams.
    • Her tendency to change her hair color a lot—red flag or just playful?
    • Coin Flip Decides Fate: The trio flips a nicotine pouch tin to decide if he should propose ("heads: propose, tails: don’t"). It lands twice in a row tails, and Matthew’s visible disappointment becomes the actual answer.
    • Quote: “See, that’s the real test. How did it feel in your soul when you heard the result?” — Charlie [51:57]
    • Host’s Wisdom: The guys point out his calling suggests hesitance, but don’t outright discourage him. They recommend patience, letting brains finish developing, and working through uncertainty together.

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3. Mini-Segment: Holiday Legal Tips with Russell Nicolet [56:37–60:34]

• Frequent Holiday Injuries: Russell explains his law firm gets more calls about bar fights and deer collisions than anything else during the holidays.
  • Quote: "We tried to sue the deer before, but it just never works out real well." — Russell [57:29]
  • Midwest Wisdom: "Ignore it long enough, it'll just work itself out." — Charlie [58:39]
• Legal Disclaimer/Juris Doctor Joke: Russell offers a tongue-in-cheek disclaimer not to follow their medical (or legal) advice.

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4. Caller Segment 2: The Dad, the Divorce, and the Short King [61:03–88:41]

Rich from Denver Calls In—His Daughter’s Relationship Gut-Check

• Backstory:
  • First Husband Disaster: His daughter’s first husband led a double life, disappearing from their rehearsal dinner to attend the birth of a child with another woman.
    • Quote: "He disappeared on the day of the rehearsal dinner because his second family mama was going into labor." — Rich [63:12]
  • Host Reactions: Charlie and Myles are floored, joke about the logistics of having two families, and marvel at the layered family drama.
• Current Worries: Rich's daughter is now with a new, seemingly good guy, but Rich can't shake his unease—possibly due to past trauma.
  • Rich’s strategies: takes him to sporting events, pays attention to body language (is he a “boob guy”?), and even runs a background check.
  • Quote: "He's really good about eye contact... I also look at, when we're in public, what's he looking at?" — Rich [75:16]
• Notable Roasting Moments:
  • The new fiancé is 5'1" and Rich is 6'4"; the hosts and Rich riff endlessly on “short king” jokes and wedding-day sight gags.
    • "She could just put him in her purse… the wife's got his balls in her purse, she just puts the whole guy in there!" — Myles [76:40]
    • “He’s just two inches shy of being an Oompa Loompa.” — Rich [80:09]
  • Rich brings up the notion that women often marry men similar to their father—Myles delivers the hardest ribbing on that.
• Resolution:
  • The hosts find no real red flags after Rich details the relationship history and his daughter’s happiness; both conclude he’s dealing with "PTSD from the last guy" but nothing alarming now.
  • Host Wisdom: “Unless this guy turns out to be Jeffrey Dahmer… it can’t be worse than the last guy!” — Myles [83:28]
• Heartfelt Thank You [86:14]: Rich shares how the podcast helped him through a devastating accident and rehab, deeply moving both hosts.
  • Quote: “The humor you guys do… totally helped me… even the darkest situations.” — Rich [88:26]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Apocalyptic Preparedness:

  • “Tums are tasty.” — Charlie [08:46]
  • “You’re a dip your big toe into the apocalypse, and I’m a cannonball right in.” — Myles [09:27]

• On Relationship Doubt:

  • “The fact that you’re calling a podcast to ask if you should marry her? That’s… an amber flag at least.” — Myles [45:03]
  • “If she becomes a hairdresser, I am long gone.” — Matthew [48:08]

• Searing Divorce Details:

  • “He had a whole other second family. He disappeared on the rehearsal the day of the rehearsal dinner because his second family mama was going into labor.” — Rich [63:01]
  • “The dad did the same thing to his mom.” — Rich [64:41]

• Short King Comedy Gold:

  • “He’s just two inches shy of being an Oompa Loompa.” — Rich [80:09]
  • “Short guys get a lot of girls, but a lot of girls are sexist on height.” — Charlie [79:01]

• On Complimenting Midwesterners:

  • “It’s tough, man… that’s just the Midwest way. Hands sweaty, you know?” — Myles [90:22]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment | |------------|----------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00–13:19| Banter at QuickStar, Midwest trends, apocalypse game | | 25:30–55:04| Matthew from Long Island—Boss stories & proposal dilemma | | 36:52 | "She doesn’t like any single one of my friends" (Matthew)| | 51:57 | “See, that’s the real test…” (Charlie, post coin-toss) | | 56:37–60:34| Holiday legal advice with Russell Nicolet | | 61:03–88:41| Rich from Denver—second family bombshell, short king jokes| | 63:12 | “Disappeared on rehearsal… second family went into labor”| | 80:09 | “He’s just two inches shy of being an Oompa Loompa.” | | 88:26 | Rich’s heartfelt thanks to the podcast | | 90:22 | Midwest compliment awkwardness |

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Overall Tone & Style

The episode perfectly balances Midwest sensibility, harrowing family drama, and outright absurd, affectionate roasting. Myles and Charlie maintain their signature blend of dry wit, self-deprecation, and sincere advice—whether they’re flipping a tin for a marriage proposal or helping a worried father-in-law unpack his trauma.

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Summary:
This episode will have you laughing at Midwest quirks, gasping at wild relationship revelations, and maybe, like the hosts, feeling a rare twinge of earnestness by the end. Whether it’s learning about secret second families, the politics of dating short kings, or whether to trust your gut before a proposal, Bellied Up again proves that all of life’s best advice can be had “at the bar”—or sometimes, inside a Fargo gas station.

Transcript

[A]

Hi, guys. How's it going?

[B]

Welcome back.

[A]

I'm Charlie.

[B]

And I'm Barley.

[A]

No, you're not Barley Miles. You're Miles. Don't Barley Cherron's this situation. Miles made a video where he made fun of me calling himself Barley Cherron's, except the joke was on him because I wasn't offended at all. I thought it was nice to be honored.

[B]

So Charlie is the worst person to start a beef with because it will always be a one sided beef.

[A]

I'm more of a pork guy.

You know.

[B]

Miles, you were locked and loaded this morning.

[A]

I'm locked, loaded, ready to roll, baby. Yeah. You can't start beef with me if I don't care enough about it. And it's not that I didn't even care about this. I just didn't understand it was beef. I literally thought it was pork. I thought it was fluff. I thought it was fun.

[B]

Yeah, it was fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that was. We had a different line written for that and we didn't like it, so then we improvised and changed it to the barley cherries. That was in the moment.

[A]

What was the one you didn't like?

[B]

I don't remember now, honestly.

[A]

Oh, I see. It was a different character altogether.

[B]

No, it's still gonna be you.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, it's fine.

[A]

Was it? Was it. Did you go below the belt with it?

[B]

No, no, no. It was gonna be fine.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

You didn't get into any past relationships I might have had?

[B]

No, actually, no. I wouldn't cross my mind. I moved past that phase of my life.

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. When was the last time I brought up your divorce?

[A]

The live podcast. Yeah.

[B]

And how long ago was that? It was months ago.

[A]

Yeah, but I've only seen you twice since then.

You know, trust, Mouse.

[B]

You got to build trust. So even though I change, I just haven't changed for long enough. And that's not good enough for you?

[A]

You know what? No. First of all, it's not good enough for me.

[B]

There's just something about a live crowd that just brings out.

[A]

Just get naughty.

[B]

The worst things about you.

[A]

You get.

[B]

Just brings out the worst things about you in me.

[A]

Every time we've had a live crowd, you've gone right for the divorce. And not always plays.

[B]

You know, they say like, play the hits.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know.

[A]

No, it's true. And look. Hey. What? Anything for a laugh, Miles. You know me as a comedian. It doesn't matter what you have to do for the laugh, as long as you get the laugh. Yeah, and you did so Here we are.

[B]

Where are we at today, Charlie?

[A]

It's so nice of you to ask that, Miles. We're in the quickstar, so it feels.

[B]

Kind of good as two Midwestern guys to be doing a podcast at a gas station.

[A]

Dude, not only are we doing a podcast at a gas station, we're breaking in this quick start in Fargo, North Dakota.

[B]

Yeah, it's like when they. There's a new ship and they take the champagne bottle and smash it against the hull. Yeah, we're basically doing that with this podcast.

[A]

Let's get a tall boy and do that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you think they'll let us?

[B]

I.

[A]

They're not listening. Chris, can we do that?

[B]

He's got two thumbs up.

[A]

All right. With shotgun.

[B]

That's actually a good idea. We should do that.

[A]

All right.

[B]

You got a rope.

[A]

You got a couple of silos for us.

[B]

But, yeah, it's kind of cool. So the quickstar, this is the first Quick start in North Dakota. So.

Just like everything in life, North Dakota is always the last to get it. And it doesn't change with gas stations. Yeah. Kind of, you know, like fashion trends. We are just starting to wear Janco jeans here in North Dakota. That's how long it takes trends to get here.

[A]

But we're here 25 years. Oh, yeah, 25 years. You guys are doing.

[B]

How long is Quick Trip and Quick Star been in Wisconsin? 50, 60 years.

[A]

I don't even know that long to.

[B]

Get a Quick Star.

[A]

Well, the thing about Janko Jeans is they're in style now again, aren't they?

[B]

Yeah. So that it's like, it actually works out is actually we are in style.

[A]

You guys are in style because we're.

[B]

So late to the party.

[A]

Yeah. Like when you guys weren't wearing bell bottoms for the first time in the late 90s, that was also like, yeah.

[B]

Wow, you were right. You're in.

[A]

You and Britney Spears.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know, yeah, Good for you.

[B]

But, yeah, kind of cool. They're not even open yet, actually.

[A]

Charlie, I know this is.

[B]

We're seeing how the sausage is made here.

[A]

It feels up open, though, because there's so many people in here.

[B]

By the time this podcast comes out, they will be open. But. Yeah.

[A]

Miles, did you know that Quick Trip sells flowers or Quick Star? Yeah, gosh darn it. It's going to be a hard thing for me to. The Quick Trip versus quickstar. In my travels around doing the touring stuff, it's always you cross a line and almost you go into another dimension where it's just Quick Stars. You know. And here we are at the quickstar. So it takes me a little bit to remember, but point is what I was asking. You ever buy flowers for Ann at the quickstar?

[B]

I have not yet, but I might have to.

[A]

See, they're putting up. And don't you guys dare try stealing the ATM here because they just drilled that sucker to the wall.

[B]

We had to delay the start of this podcast because there was a lot of drilling and bolting to the ground.

[A]

Yeah, you're going to have to take the whole damn wall if you want to cut to four months from now. News report wall missing at local quickstar in Fargo, North Dakota.

[B]

Ye. Well, now we're telling them how atm, you got to at least bring a drill with a ratchet on it.

Yeah.

[A]

Miles, it's an apocalypse. What is.

[C]

What.

[A]

What are you. You can take two items from the gas station.

[B]

Also, great question, Charlie. Very funny that you assume in an apocalypse, I'm going to be like, hey, I'm going to loot the quick star, but I'm only going to take two items.

This is an apocalypse, Charlie.

[A]

I. I'm saying, you got.

[B]

World is ending, dude. You go to the quickstar, you take two items, and you're like, do you guys take Apple Pay?

[A]

See, you know what?

[B]

This is why I'm just running out the door.

[A]

This is why you're never going to make it in an apocalypse, Miles, because you're too busy thinking about the question and not busy enough coming up with the solution. Okay, yeah, I mean, I'm just. Two items. What do you take?

[B]

I'm. I mean, energy drink and. And some hot food.

[A]

You're done. You're toast. Dude, are you kidding me? Are you kidding?

[B]

What would you pay.

[A]

An energy drink. You're going to crash in an hour. Which one are you going to get?

[B]

I'll get a white monster.

[A]

Okay, Two hours. Yeah, maybe two and a half, honestly.

[D]

And then.

[B]

But you're also.

[A]

You're.

[B]

You're now. You're now. Because it's like essentially my last meal, you know? Yeah, because I, you know, I'll make it longer than most people. You know, like, little children probably have a lesser chance of making the apocalypse than me, but other than that, you.

[A]

Know, no, dude, kids have the best chance. Yeah, kids are nimble. They're quick.

[B]

They learn, they can adapt, hide in small places.

[A]

Their bones are flexible, man, they got a leg up, you know?

[B]

So you're saying I'm going first. You're so. Then you're not. So you're like, oh, how Are you going to survive? When in reality, I smart. Because I just picked my last meal, and I'm going to go out feeling great.

[A]

Well, no, that's true, and I will give you props on that. I wasn't sure that's what you were doing. I just. I feel like you should get a tall boy, then get yourself, you know. A tall boy as opposed to being, like, a piece of beer. Yeah, Like, I'd be too, like, amped. You know, I'd be like, when's it happening? When's it happening? If I got one of those monster white lightning things.

[B]

But anyway, here's the thing. It's like, you're also, like, now picking apart my answer to a question I didn't even want to answer because it's.

[A]

Just you don't get to pick the questions that get asked you on this podcast.

[B]

It's kind of dumb, because if it's an apocalypse situation, I am stocking up with everything I need. So what would. Oh, all right, Barley. What would you pick? Thank you.

[A]

I mean, how many hints do I have to get? Like.

Tire gauge and thumbs and I'd get the tire gauge because you want to make sure that you don't want to overload your tires in an apocalypse. That'll be everyone's first mistake. Thinking, I got to put air in now. Yeah, I better get some more air. Boom.

[B]

Apocalypse happens. The aliens are here, and I'm like, I need to fill up my tires. That's the first thing I'm going to do.

[A]

Well, electricity is going, going, gone. And so anytime you get a chance to use the electricity, you're going to try to, like, get as much bang for your buck. But you might get too much of a bang if you overfill your tires. This happens all the time, especially given the temperature.

[B]

If. If it's cold and you comes, you won't have any food. So what do you need the Tums for?

[A]

Tums are tasty.

[E]

Okay?

[A]

Tums are tasty.

[B]

If you just do an only Tums diet, then you'll never get a tummy ache, because I'm not.

[A]

No, I'm not saying only Tums. Are you kidding me? I'm gonna be eating all kinds of weird shit out there, Miles. Pine needles, rabbits, squirrels, whatever. I'm gonna need some Tums.

[B]

Okay, that's. That's a good argument.

[A]

Little apper. Te, a little dessert.

[B]

Yeah. You know, voles and. And mice and all that.

[A]

Yeah, I'm going to eat the weird parts, too. You think my stomach's going to handle that. No. I'm going to have to have some Tums to bridge that gap. Ease me into the apocalypse. Radioactive turkey. You ever had one?

[B]

That's the difference between me and you. You're a dip your big toe into the apocalypse and I'm a cannonball right in. Let's get after it.

[A]

You know, Campbell. Right in. Miles, you just said you were buying your last meal because you're gonna die soon. Okay?

[B]

I mean, if aliens have the technology to show up to Earth and raid us and start an apocalypse, we have no shot. They will kill us all.

[A]

I'm not saying it's gonna be aliens, Miles. We don't know who's gonna start the apocalypse.

[B]

Apocalypse could be a asteroid hitting the earth.

[A]

Sure, we're done.

[B]

Which is a cataclysm. We're done. That would rapidly, rapidly melt the ice caps and we'd be all underwater anyways.

[A]

If we melt. All the ice caps were underwater.

[B]

Yeah, pretty. Maybe in Fargo we're all right. But like sight.

[A]

Now you're starting to think more seriously about this question, aren't you? You could have a fighting chance monster.

[B]

And yeah, then I just gotta head to Bismarck and go to the the capitol building, which is on a hill.

[A]

That's my best shot.

[B]

He's gotta head west.

[A]

I. I heard that you guys have mountains here.

[B]

They're hills. They're black hills.

[A]

I heard it's a full on mountain.

[B]

No, that's what I hear. Hills there.

[A]

I heard in the north northwest corner there's some.

[B]

You might get a sliver. But there's no way we can claim it. No way.

[A]

You sure you don't want to? If that were in Wisconsin, I'd be claiming it.

[B]

I know.

[A]

That's a whole ass mountain.

[B]

You guys are always bragging about stuff. Yeah, that's what you do.

[A]

Oh, maybe we just have stuff to brag about.

[B]

Dude, we got Sheboygan. We got a. Yeah, Sheboygan, Wisconsin Dells.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, Wisconsin.

[C]

Dallas.

[B]

It's got a great interpretive center. So yeah.

[A]

Okay. We have.

[B]

Actually that's the place to go in an apocalypse because no one knows where the interpretive centers are. So just head straight to them. You know, that's actually my fallout shelter is going to be the interpretive centers because Jared, where's the interpretive center? Where's the closest one to here? Exactly. So if someone's like, I think Miles headed for the interpretive center and be like, well, he's gone. I'll never see him again.

[A]

I like it. I like the problem.

[B]

We need to be bringing more awareness, these interpretive centers. Because we don't need us North Dakotans don't even know where they are. Can you tell us to go to.

[A]

One I the interpretive centers. We've talked about them so much on this podcast. I still know what it is.

[B]

It's a place where you go interpret things.

[A]

Right. See that's why I still don't know what this is because I never get a straight answer out of you. It would be nice one of these podcasts where you just tell me.

[B]

We could just do a podcast from interpretive center.

I mean we're doing them anywhere now. We're at.

I mean, yeah. Next thing we're going to be my parents basement doing this thing. And where is. Where do we stop?

[A]

Oh man. Have you ever thought about like if you had to move back to your parents basement?

[B]

Have I thought about that? No.

I'll move in with you before I do that.

[A]

Oh, what would you rather have happen? You move back in your parents basement or there be an apocalypse?

[B]

Back into my parents basement.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Just.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Curious how.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Opposed to that.

[B]

I mean.

Pretty much everything other than like my family dying. Like if it's like oh, your family dying or an apocalypse, I'll choose the apocalypse.

[A]

Some people.

[B]

But basically anything other than that, I'm gonna choose the other thing other than an apocalypse.

[A]

I mean, I guess at least in.

[B]

Apocalypse we have at least a fighting chance. Right?

[C]

Right. Right.

[A]

Well, that's why I ask, I ask to figure that answer out because some people have other feelings about apocalypse. Some people are like, I want this apocalypse, you know, because they view themselves as like the main character in like a Will Smith movie. You know, they think they're going to like it's the ultimate video game. Yeah. I mean I don't know who those people are, but I imagine they're out there.

[B]

All right guys, time for me and Charlie to pray to. Whoa. Play prize picks this week. Just so excited to play Prize picks that I just can't even get it out guys right now. Prize picks will give you fifty dollars in lineups when you play your first five dollar lineup. Win or lose, you'll get fifty bucks in lineups. All you got to do is use promo code bellied up all one word when you sign up today. This is going to be a good week. I can feel it in my bones. This week I got my pick. I toggled them up. I just love toggling up. I love staring my eyeballs into a red devil. The best on that app just the best I got Josh Allen, more than 249 and a half pass yards playing New England. He's got the eye of the tiger. He is, he's. He's ready to go. I can just feel it.

Plus, he's also my fantasy qb, so I have extra skin in the game.

So that's my pick this week. Charlie, what's your pick?

[A]

Hello, Miles. This week my bet is Jaden Reed's gonna get more than 33 and a half receiving yards.

[B]

What a good pick, Charlie. I don't know if I ought to pick that one again. I think I said that last week. I don't know if I would have picked it, but I like it.

[A]

Let's pick the Packers.

[B]

He loves to pick the Packers. That dude is a Packer machine. What is it with him in the Packers? Like he grew up in Wisconsin or something? Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. Doesn't make any sense.

So guys, if you want to use our picks in your lineups this week, go ahead. We'll let you go. Right on. Yeah, that's. That's what we would do. So use code bellied up. You gotta play along with us. It's a great time.

Good way to get games even that you don't care about as much. Get more interested in them. It's pretty fun. So use code bellied up and sign up today.

[A]

Miles, the holidays are hectic. Don't we know it? Don't we know it?

[B]

Do I know it?

[A]

They are so hectic. So look, we're going to let you in on a little.

[B]

That's why they call them the hectic holiday.

[A]

The hectic holidays. Well, here's a hack for the hectic holidays. Skip the bacon.

[B]

The heck?

[A]

What the heck? Here's a hack for the holidays. Skip the bacon, skip the mix. And skip the unnecessary effort. Grab yourself a bottle of Tippy Cow. Do the chocolate shake. Tastes like a big bo milkshake. Smooth and creamy with a little kick. And it'll bring the family party. It'll bring the party to the family. You just pour it over ice and suddenly you're everyone's favorite cousin. Miles, Tippy couch. Your shortcut to just having the holiday cheer everywhere near.

Find your glass, make it fast. You know, Miles, what I'm talking about? I'm talking about Tippy Cow. Ok? Spread the holiday cheer. Do it responsibly, of course. And go ahead. Tip on back. A Tippy Cow drink responsibly.

[B]

Tippy Cow rum cream. Copyright 2025 Midwest Custom Bottling Milwaukee Wisconsin All Rights Reserve.

[A]

What is KFGO stand for?

[B]

It's a radio station in town.

[A]

Okay, go.

[B]

Okay, go.

[A]

It's a cool sign, man. It's cool. At the new quickstar. You guys, you can come here you. Your. This is a nice table too.

[B]

They have. And technically we are still bellied up.

[A]

We are still bellied up.

[B]

Is up to this bar, so. And the snack bar.

[A]

Actually it is a snack bar. This is the place though, Miles. Like you go, you go to certain spots, certain spots across the Midwest. In the mornings at 5:30, 6:00 you got the meeting of the older gentleman. Just bunch of old men sitting around drinking coffee, talking about their days. Some in bibs, some in business attire. But every day.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Sometimes just Thursdays, but that's what this table will be. Now these chairs are a little high for that though. Yeah, usually they like to get them lower so they can.

[B]

Yeah. Step stool here for them.

[A]

Yeah. But anyways, it's nice. It's nice to know we're christening it.

[B]

So have you been thinking a lot about the apocalypse? What's going on?

[A]

Oh no, I just came to me. I don't know why do you think.

[B]

We'Re gonna have an apocalypse? Because of robots or because an asteroid is gonna hit us? What's more likely in your mind?

[A]

I really don't know. I couldn't tell you. I mean also I wouldn't trust what comes out of my mind.

[B]

Can you just answer the question? Just pick one.

[A]

Oh, now you want me to just answer the question? You see how it feels.

[B]

I did answer.

[A]

You see how it feels to just not answer the question? Just pick apart the question was stupid question.

[B]

What if you had to choose an apocalyptic behavior thing? Would it be an asteroid hitting or robots? I'd say there's only one. Right.

[A]

I'd say mathematically speaking, robots.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I mean all of a sudden your doomsday shit you've been preaching all over the Internet doesn't look as bad because we could be hit by an asteroid.

[A]

Yeah, we could. We could hit by an asteroid, Mouse. I mean a volcano could go up. There's so many ways we could go. I know, I'm not saying the. I'm just saying we don't need to create another way. We got plenty of ways that could just happen naturally.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, so anyways.

[B]

Yeah, I see what you're saying.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's not shoot ourselves in the first.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. Yeah. We got a gun. We could point it at the asteroid or we could point it at our head. We're doing the Ladder. So you can use the technology to help or just to be like, let it do what it wants to do.

[B]

Would you trade potentially dying for having a robot that can fold your laundry? I mean, come on, dude.

[A]

What a fucking waste of resources. Got a bunch of children out there mining lithium and cobalt for that bullshit bunch of idiots we got, you know, running this world.

[B]

I mean, at least if you're going to have child labor, at least have them be doing shoes again. You know.

Nikes together, bring it back.

[A]

To, to our roots.

[B]

We don't need them back in the mines, even though the children yearn for the mines, since Minecraft is the number one video game. But let's get them back in the sweatshops, get them out of the cobalt mines.

[A]

Do you know what Roblox is?

[B]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

Okay. It's one of those words, you know, when someone says yellow beetle and you all of a sudden see a bunch of yellow beetles on the road. Yeah, someone told me about Roblox the other day. And all I hear now is about Roblox. And.

I don't really know what it is, to be honest.

[B]

Is it a video game?

[A]

It's some kind of video game.

[B]

It's got to be similar to Minecraft then. Building stuff. Sounds like a building type of situation.

[A]

Yeah. Anyways, what were you talking about? Child labor?

[B]

I was saying. Yeah, it's like, yeah, in the good old days, the child labor was happening in a, in a. In a nice factory sewing Nike shoes together. And now we got them in the mines so that we can have batteries for. Yeah, for self driving cars and robots.

[A]

And, you know, and we're all, we're all hypocrites. Look, there's a phone, There's a camera. You know, we're all walking contradictions, you know, it's a way of the world, Miles. It's a way of the world. But you know what? Knowledge is the first step. So thank you for informing us on that. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I like the beard today, by the way. You did a good job.

[B]

Thanks. Thanks.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it's really like.

[B]

Grew it myself.

[A]

No, I know, but the trim is nice, you know, like sometimes you get some straggly ones.

[B]

Thanks. Yeah.

[A]

Jared, you gotta borrow Miles's thing. Although yours is nice and full and thick. You got to grow it out and then I don't touch it for like three months.

[B]

That'll shave it.

[A]

All right. You shave it up. Well, you're missing the shaping part, dude. I don't you could have a. I mean, he's married already. What is he?

[B]

Yeah, I suppose you got to impress.

[A]

I suppose the problem with shaping it is then you start thinking about a lot, and a lot of energy goes into shaping a beard. You look good, Jared.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I've been doing this since, like, the seventh grade.

[A]

Oh, he's been doing it since the seventh grade. Okay. All right.

[B]

I know you newfound beard guys.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think it's a lot of work, but just get into a routine.

[D]

When did you.

[B]

I've been doing it for, you know, 20 years.

[A]

When did you pop your first.

Hair that you didn't know grew there, Miles?

[B]

Yeah, probably middle school.

[A]

Yeah. When did you have the full beard for the first time?

[B]

Probably like full. Full beer. Probably, like sophomore year of high school.

[A]

Oh. Oh, really? Sophomore year of high school. Wow. Okay. That French in you?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Ha, ha. I didn't know French were that hairy.

[B]

Oh, yeah?

[A]

Are they?

[B]

I don't know. I'm from North Dakota.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Never been to France.

[A]

Something else in there? Yeah, you know. All right, well, cool. Should we take some callers?

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

All right.

[D]

What's up, gentlemen?

[A]

What's up, dude?

[D]

How you doing, Charlie Miles. Where's Jared? Get him on the phone.

[B]

Hey, Matthew. Can you say Jared again? I like how you say Jared.

[C]

Jared.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, like that.

[A]

Matthew, where you from?

[D]

Long Island, New York, baby.

[B]

Okay. I just was in New York.

[D]

You were, huh? Yeah, I was gonna. Go ahead.

[B]

I was in Manhattan, though.

[D]

Oh, it's terrible. I feel bad for you.

[B]

Yeah. I was there for three days. I was ready to come home.

[D]

What were you doing over there?

[B]

Just hanging out with some friends. We ended up going to a Jets game, which was a complete disappointment.

[D]

Yeah, it's. I would probably committed suicide if I was there.

Yeah. Terrible, terrible.

[B]

So are you a Jets fan? Are you a Giants guy?

[D]

You know, I'd love to be one of those, but they both suck, so I'm kind of rooting for the Bills.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Oh, you're a Bills guy. Okay. Bills, you know, they. They've got. It's a good. Have you been to Bill's games?

[D]

I've been to one of them.

[A]

Bill's fans are built a little different, you know?

[D]

Oh, yeah, they are.

[A]

Yeah. What's up with you guys?

[D]

Hey, man. You know, we. We have pride in our team, even though. Even though they're kind of good, but they kind of suck. We have pride and we, you know, we come from New York. A whole bunch of drugs over there. That's just they're all high on fucking everything.

[A]

Really?

[D]

See, everything.

[A]

What I love, obviously, I'm a Packers fan, and I love the idea that, you know, the community comes together to shovel that thing out when you get snow. And you guys got the same thing going on over there.

[D]

Oh, yeah, we do.

[A]

Yeah. And then you. Where did the table jumping thing come from?

[D]

I think that's a college thing that was kind of brought up. Brought up from those frat houses, and that's how that kind of got there.

[B]

Okay. So it's, like, started in the minor leagues and got called up to the big one.

[D]

Oh, yeah. There you go, Miles.

[C]

That's perfect.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Five and five and what?

[C]

Five and two. Five and one.

[A]

One, five, three. One. Yeah. We're the beginning of a freaking phone number right now. It's embarrassing.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not too bad, though. We'll see if they make it this year.

[A]

I don't know.

[D]

Last time they made us.

[C]

What?

[A]

Don't just do that. Don't do that. You know what? I'll say this. I'll say this. We are. We are on our way up. We're on our way up. And I. And you want to be I. By the time this podcast comes out, it's going to be like two, three weeks from now. We're going to be the top of the MC North. The Bears are going to be the bottom of the MC North. I guarantee you that flip's going to happen. A tide is turning. Okay.

[D]

Yeah. And the jets going to be right there with you.

[A]

All right. All right, Matthew. All right, Matthew, why bel up to the bar with us? What.

[C]

What.

[A]

What brings you in today?

[D]

So, voicemail, I think was. I think it was a couple weeks ago, but I wanted to talk about how crazy my old boss was. And I think the other thing was.

Oh, yeah. If I should marry this, my girlfriend and out of four years coming up.

[A]

Oh, wow. This is.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

All right, we've.

[A]

We've.

[B]

First question. Was your old boss, were you in waste management?

[D]

I mean, no, it's. We were in. It's an aggregate company, so.

It'S. We make. We crush rock.

[B]

You're in the concrete business, then?

[D]

Yeah, you could say that. Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What are you crushing the rock for? Is it for concrete? Is it for asphalt? Is it for buildings?

[D]

So, you know when you. When you pave with asphalt and under the asphalt is road grade stuff.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

It's called. It's called rca. I'm sure you guys are familiar with it. Yeah, that's what we crushed over there.

[A]

That's great, man. So just building America's roadways, right?

[D]

Exactly. That's exactly how I put it. Every time someone asked what I did, I said, oh, I'm building America.

[A]

You just cut out roadways. You just say, yeah, because you're right. You can't build America without the roads. I mean, you cannot. You could, but you get stuck in a lot of mud, and that wouldn't be fun. No. Hell, no.

[B]

All right.

[A]

So what about your boss over there, though?

[D]

A little bit of a wild motherfucker. Sorry for the language.

[A]

You do you.

[D]

He's crazy. So he's just one of those psychopath guys, doesn't know how to run a business, doesn't know how to run anything. Actually, he's a great guy. Outside of work, then you get into work, he's. He's just a wild man. Comes in there, screams and yells like we're in high school. He actually once told me he tried taking my phone from me. And I. I actually said, this is in high school, buddy.

[C]

You keep.

[D]

You can't do that.

He tried taking my phone for me, and he just treated us like we're all high schoolers.

[C]

And it's.

[D]

It's crazy, because this is a construction business of all grown men operating hundreds. Hundreds of thousands of pounds worth of equipment.

[A]

Yeah, you guys are gonna win that argument.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

All day.

[A]

Why did he try taking your phone from you?

[D]

I think maybe I was on taking a phone call or something.

There's Bluetooth in the cab.

[B]

On his phone during work?

[A]

No, I. I just wanted to see if he was doing it, like, trying to take a picture of him doing.

[B]

Some, you know, structure.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

No, there's Bluetooth in the cab. So, you know, I was. I don't know what he was thinking, but he probably. He's a drunk. Real bad drunk.

[A]

Oh, he is a drunk. Like, he's coming to work drunk.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, man. Dude.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

Drives around in his beautiful Ram 2500 thinking that he's all. All that, which he is. But wait, in my eyes, he's not.

[A]

How do you get the job?

[D]

How did I get the job?

[A]

How did he get the job?

[D]

How did he get the job? So it's a partner of a really big company down here called Basilico, and they branched off and. And made two companies out of that. One of them was the one I worked at, and the other one was another one just like it. And he worked for Basilico, which then he got told, oh, you're gonna Manage this company now. Good luck.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So they just shelved him to the side?

[D]

Yeah, and they know it. The big bosses know that. That he sucks real bad. Well, they can't do anything about it.

[A]

Why? I mean, is he, like, related? Is it. It sounds like a succession situation.

[D]

No, it's just he's been. He's been with that company for so.

[B]

Long that he knows too much.

Yeah, and when I asked if you were in waste management, I think that the concrete business and the rock crushing business ain't too much different over there in Long Island.

[D]

No, it's not different at all.

He really doesn't know anything, though.

[E]

I mean, he.

[D]

He says that he does. He's been in the business for is. Sometimes he knows what he's doing, but most of the time he's telling us to do stupid stuff.

[B]

It doesn't matter what he knows about the job. He knows other stuff, and that's why he still got a job.

[D]

There you go. You got that on point.

[A]

What do you want to do about him?

[D]

What do I want to do about him?

[A]

Yeah. What's your game plan to deal with this? You want to just complain about him, or should we come up with something to do about the situation?

[B]

Well, and I've watched enough TV shows, Charlie, that someone's got to make a move.

There needs to be a coup of some sort. Yeah, you better start playing that.

[A]

Yeah, that's. Well, that's what we're doing right here on this podcast.

[B]

All right, what's step one, you think, Matthew? What's step one of. Of. Of planning a coup?

[D]

Go down to Manhattan and get the mafia involved?

[A]

Okay, well, that text you all the stops right there.

[B]

I like that. You just cut straight to the chase.

[D]

Yeah, right to the chase.

[A]

I mean, we were gonna build up to that, but. Yeah, let's go right for it. You got any connections there?

[D]

Yeah, I have a whole bunch of connections, but I actually left that place. I actually. I kind of. Kind of asked him, you know, I. I said that.

I had military training.

[B]

You? Your old boss?

[A]

Damn.

[D]

Here we go, Miles, here we go.

[B]

Holy. That took a turn. I did not think that was going this way. So this is your. This is your ex boyfriend then?

[D]

That's why I'm thinking if I should marry this girl or not. She doesn't know yet.

[A]

Lock her in now. Dude, Lock her in now.

[D]

Can never leave after that.

[B]

How'd you screw them over?

[D]

So I had a military training that I had to attend to. It was kind of a choice, but it Wasn't a choice. I was like, yeah, yeah, sure, I'll go. Because I wanted to get out of there for three weeks. So I was looking for another job before I got told I had to go to the training, and I found one. And I text these guys. I was like, oh, yeah, let's. Let's do it. And he was like, all right, you can start tomorrow. I was like, well, I can't do that, but I can put in my two weeks and then come to you after that. So, yeah, all good and fine. And I tell him. I'm like. I'm like, all right. Well.

I got. I got something to tell you.

[B]

He's like, all right, let's.

[D]

Either you want to raise, or you're gonna put me two weeks. I'm like, how much are you offering? He's like, a dollar raise. I'm like, yeah, okay. So I'm like, hey, I'm putting my two weeks in, but I'm not gonna be there. So.

[B]

So he's just quitting on the spot?

[D]

No, no, but I. I put my two weeks in, but basically, I was just quitting on the spot. But I did the right thing. In my eyes, I did the correct thing.

[B]

It sounds like you don't truly believe you did the right thing because you keep telling us that you did the right thing.

[D]

Oh, I did the right thing.

[A]

Well, you see, he's not your boss anymore.

[B]

You put your two minutes in is.

[A]

What you put in.

[B]

You did not put your two weeks in.

[D]

I did tell him at the end of the day as well. It was hilarious.

[A]

So you're not there anymore?

[D]

No, I'm at this new place. This is an asphalt plant now. I make black gold all day.

[A]

There you go. All right.

[B]

All right. Are married to the road game, aren't you?

[D]

Yeah, but I am. I am thinking about leaving this place. I got another job offer last night, actually.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Where at?

[D]

So they. They need a equipment operator for site work. They do marine site work. Like, put excavators on barges and stuff like that.

[A]

Oh, nice.

[D]

So actually, I told this guy that I have a VA appointment at 2, but, no, I'm going to interview.

[B]

Smart.

[A]

Look at that, dude. You're just playing.

[B]

No one's. No one's gonna be like, nah, you're not. You. You're not that injured.

[D]

Yeah, I walked up to him. I walked up to him like, dude, I gotta go to the va. I think he thinks he has. I have PTSD or something. I said, it's so bad.

I was like, I gotta Go to the VA Man. He's like, you're all right. I'm like, yeah, yeah, he's gotta go to the va.

[B]

So you're in the military. Are you currently active military?

[D]

So right now I'm National Guard with the Army.

[B]

National Guard.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

And have you done any deployment. Deployments at all?

[D]

Nope, haven't gone anywhere yet. But if I. If I leave this place thinking I'm going to tell this boss I'm going to Syria. Okay.

[B]

All right. Just the web of lies that's building and building. I like it.

[D]

Yeah. Yeah. And you got some point.

[A]

You got mafia connections, too.

[D]

You said.

My last name is pretty Italian, so I would like to think so.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Okay, that's cool.

[B]

Now we have connections.

[A]

Yeah, dude, look at that.

[D]

You guys have connections.

[A]

Badass. Yeah, well, Miles and I, we're. We're. We're sort of the center of the Fargo mafia.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[D]

North Dakota.

[A]

Yeah, we're. We're here right now holding it down right next to K. Go, man.

[D]

Or tell me you guys are in the Shed Bar.

[A]

We're not.

[B]

We're actually at a quick start. We're at a gas station.

[A]

We're a gas station today.

[D]

That's awesome. I'm so happy to be getting called at a gas station.

[A]

Yeah, man.

[D]

Fantastic.

[A]

From the quick start to your bar, man.

[B]

You know, when you. When you start doing content on the Internet, you're like, wow, we're going to be famous. We're going to be doing all sorts of crazy stuff. Maybe someday we could sell out Madison Square Garden and. Yeah, fast forward seven years and we made it. We're at the gas station.

[D]

Miles, is that the gas station used to stop at every day before concrete?

[B]

This is not. Because this is brand new. This is. This is. We're at a brand new quickstar.

[A]

So, boys, we're breaking it in, dude.

[D]

Breaking it in. Yeah, they got all the hot food. What do they got good stuff there?

[A]

They got it. They got some hot food. It's not in yet. They're installing things right now.

[B]

Still cold. Because they haven't cooked it yet. Yeah, cold will be hot food.

[A]

And the beer cooler is still not cool.

[B]

Cold in there, though.

[A]

Is it cold in there?

[B]

I went in there.

[A]

Oh, well, now we're cooking. We're cooking. Beer cooler is cold. So we're going.

[B]

We're going. Lady, let's talk to you about your girlfriend. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, let's do it.

[B]

Tell us about her. What's. What's the plan? You don't. You're on the fence of proposing or what?

[D]

So I've been with her for four years. She's. She's a good gal. She, you know, she lost her dad a couple years ago. I was there for that. So she's. She's been with me for four years. I've been with her, and she lives in the house with her mother. Mother's actually trying to move out, so they want. She wants to sell the house to me and her, which is insane at Long island because houses now are $900,000 here.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

So she's. She's good. She's going into nursing now, so she's got a long career ahead of her. But, you know, most girl attitude problems and stuff like that, I'm just trying to figure out if she's. If she's the same as every other girl or she's a little extra.

[A]

Oh, well, okay.

[B]

All right, here we go.

[A]

Give us.

[B]

This is a fun game. Is his girlfriend being a little bit of a bitch, or is she just, you know, a normal girlfriend? This is a good game. All right. Lay out some stuff that she's done, and we'll be the judge.

[D]

Well, I think the normal things is driving down the road, and she won't shut up if I'm driving.

[B]

She's just talking to you, man.

[D]

Yeah, no, no, no. Not talking.

[A]

Matthew, I got news for you. This whole phone call, man, you. You' and you've been going, yeah, I.

[B]

Kind of feel a little bit like maybe. You feel?

[A]

Yeah, you know, you're. You're in. In a. You know, you're. You're a talker, dude, and I think you need that.

[D]

This is a podcast.

So.

[B]

Yeah, well, that's great, because this is a podcast.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, Miles, I got that from.

[A]

You, dude, he says that once every other podcast.

[D]

Yep, every day.

[A]

Oh, all right.

[D]

Good thing you're not talking, Tyler, because.

[B]

This is a podcast that happened yesterday, actually. A guy was like, I'm not good at telling stories. And we're like, well, that sucks, because this is a podcast.

[D]

Yeah, that's the best. I love that.

[A]

So she talks too much on the car. In the car.

[B]

Is she talking to you or at you?

[D]

No, like, at me, like, telling me how to drive and that there's a car there. Like.

[B]

Yeah, no.

Yeah, I think. I think I put that in the category of. That's just. That's just how life is. I don't think that she's. She's different in that.

[A]

Yes. That standard. And let me ask you this. Have you ever Given her reason to doubt you're driving. You ever hit a mirror of a parked car backed into another car?

[D]

No. So I drive a big truck with double 5% tints all the way around so you can't see a single thing out of that truck.

[B]

Smart. Smart. Yeah. Considering that when you're driving, visibility is kind of the most important thing.

[D]

So I think she's a little scared to go in my truck at times, but sometimes take her little car, her little Tucson and.

And she's just, you know, same, I guess. That's all. Normal girls do normal stuff like that. Just scream at you and tell you there's a car in front of you. There's a lot of.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Even though you're not about to get into a crash or they tell you.

[D]

She'S trying to hit the brake on her side.

[B]

Yeah. Tell you to slow down even though you have a thousand feet before you're going to hit the car in front of you.

[D]

Exactly.

[B]

Okay, so that's normal. Yeah.

[C]

All right.

[B]

What else?

[D]

Another thing. She doesn't like any single one of my friends.

[B]

Oh, yeah?

[D]

Problem.

[A]

Well, tell us about your friends.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

All right. A couple of them are losers. I get that. I only have like four friends.

[B]

Okay, so 50 losers. All right.

[D]

Yeah. So two of them are brothers. And I get why she doesn't like him. That's fine, whatever. And then the other one is named, his name is Chris. Cool guy. Nothing wrong with him. He's a blue collar guy, just like me. And he, he's got a girlfriend and I, I try to get them to hang out with each other. I try to go on double dates and it never works out. She doesn't say why. She's just, she's like, I don't want to do it. And the other girl, the other girl, he tells me that she's the same way. And I don't know if it's just because they went to high school together and I don't know what happened in high school, but like, we're way out of that, you know, Drop it.

[A]

Yeah. She doesn't give you any reason. Does she know who the girl is? His girlfriend?

[D]

Yeah, they, I, I believe they went.

[C]

To high school together.

[A]

Oh, they did actually go to high school. Oh, so they.

[B]

Someone was mean dude.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Mean girl situation on our hands.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You can't sit with us, you know.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

One of them is a little butthurt, so I'm trying to get over that factor so, you know, we can have a social life instead of sitting in my Room and watching anything.

[A]

Yeah. Well, here's the deal. I mean, you. You got kind of a small pool of examples here of your friends that you don't like, because you got four, so I got another one. Okay. And she don't like him either?

[D]

No.

[A]

Why not?

[D]

She says that if I, like, ever do something good, she's like, oh, he doesn't. He doesn't, like, bring you up and, like, believe in you? Oh, my God. You know, guys don't really give a hell about that.

[B]

My wife wouldn't like any of my friends that.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

But no, he's not like that, though. It's just how, you know, how guys work. She just thinks that everything he says to me is me. I'm like, I'm not. I don't really have feelings, so it doesn't really matter.

[B]

Yeah, okay.

There's a difference between razzing and not, like, you know. Yeah, he's just busting your balls, you know?

[D]

No, she hates it.

[A]

You like him, though.

[B]

Do you like any of her friends?

[D]

Yeah. Yeah, she has. She has one friend.

[A]

She has one friend.

[B]

Is that her mom?

[D]

Well, that's two. She doesn't have. She doesn't have a bunch of friends? She's. Yeah, no, she doesn't have a bunch of friends. She's got one friend, which is the girlfriend of one of my friends. So we hang out. That's. That's our group that we hang out with, is that girl. And they hang out sometimes alone. And she. She only likes that guy because of that girlfriend.

[B]

Sometimes that's enough.

[D]

And I think. I think that's gonna have to do. Miles.

[B]

Yeah. What else? Is there anything. Because so far, obviously, the friends thing isn't great.

[A]

It's not great, but you guys don't have a lot of friends, so. But you could, like, together, find more friends.

[B]

That's the other thing, too. You start, like, you get married, you have kids, you get a whole new set of friends with your kids.

[A]

Yeah, the kids are gonna be friends with someone. You're just gonna be friends with those people, so.

[D]

And, yeah, I don't really care, not having so many friends. I work all day every day, so it really doesn't matter to me.

[A]

Right. And she may warm up over time. I mean, it's been four years. Probably not, but you never know. Okay, what else?

[D]

Let's see here. Let's see here. The. The nursing. The nursing school is going to be a bit of a problem because she. It's like, what, four, six years long? And I hate this state so much. I want to move to either the Midwest or. I like Tennessee a lot. Wisconsin, I love a lot.

[A]

Yeah, dude.

[B]

So she doesn't want to move.

[D]

So the thing is, with her, wherever she goes, her mom's gonna have to go, which is a big problem.

[A]

Do you. Do you dislike her mom?

[D]

No, I love her mom. Her mom's very sweet. I do a whole bunch of stuff for her. I never had a problem with her. But you just.

[B]

At some point, you gotta cut the cord is what you're saying.

[D]

Exactly. Exactly.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, well, that.

[C]

That.

[A]

Here's the nice thing about the nursing. You can go anywhere. You can be a travel nurse, make a lot of money, and also, you know, it saves you some trips to the doctor, too, you know?

[C]

Right.

[D]

But I'm also gonna have to wait, what, six years before I have to leave this stupid state.

[A]

Yeah, that's. That's definitely, what, six years for nursing school?

[D]

It's a long time, dude. It takes a long time to. You got to go through, like. It takes a very long time.

[A]

I didn't realize that.

[D]

Years. Just.

[A]

Just to be standard nurse or is she doing a specialty nurse?

[D]

I think to just be an rn, it takes a very long time.

[A]

I didn't know.

[B]

And is she behind the eight ball? Like, is it. Is she older than, like. Like, obviously.

[D]

No, no, she's young.

[A]

She's.

[B]

She's.

[D]

She's 22.

[A]

Oh.

[D]

So.

[A]

Well, here's the other thing, man. The brain's not fully formed till 26.

[B]

Oh. Older than that, dude.

[A]

Yeah. I'm still not sure.

[B]

Yeah, it's got to be 30.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I definitely didn't get my full adult brains. I was at least 30. I was.

[D]

That's because you were sniffing that concrete all day.

[B]

Yeah.

I was a. Until I was 30, at least.

[A]

Yeah. I can't say I even. Even fully developed now.

[B]

But you're 40, maybe, is what you're playing for.

[A]

I'm hoping. Yeah. At that point, I said, figure out.

[D]

What I'm doing in life till I'm 40.

[A]

How old are you?

[D]

23.

[A]

You're 23. She's 22. You guys been together four years?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think the part of you wants to maybe not propose to her otherwise.

[D]

No, no, I do.

[B]

Yeah. But you called into a podcast asking Charlie and I if you should marry her. That's a little bit of a. I won't say red flag, but maybe like a yellow flag of some sort of Amber.

[A]

Yeah, Amber. Yeah, it's an Amber alert.

[B]

A burnt orange flag.

[D]

Yeah, but no, I love her and she's awesome, but I just wanted, you know, I. I need your guys input before I propose.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

Have you guys.

[A]

You guys dated other people?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, of course.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What, like in high school, middle school?

[D]

Yeah, like think middle school, high school stuff, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay, so just serious.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

Only maybe finger.

[B]

Yeah, one thing. One singular finger.

[D]

Yeah, singular finger.

[A]

Any. Any infidelity on either side here?

[D]

Infidelity?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

What do you mean by that?

[A]

To cheat on her?

[D]

Oh, no, no, no.

[A]

Has she cheated on you?

[D]

I sure hope not.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This one's actually like a pretty 5050 in my mind. Usually when we get calls like this, it's pret obvious one way or the other.

[A]

Sure. We can sniff out some glaring problem.

[B]

Yeah. Well, okay, here's a good. What do you like about her.

[D]

Eyes?

[B]

Okay.

[A]

No, she.

[C]

She's. She's.

[D]

She has great personality. She's fun to hang out with. She's funny.

She gets a new car every three years. I like that.

[B]

About.

[A]

How does she get a new car every three years?

[D]

She's on a lease.

[C]

Leases.

[D]

She leases them out every three years.

[A]

What? What? Okay, so. So she got a job currently, yeah.

[C]

Right.

[D]

She works at a doctor's office as like a receptionist right now.

[A]

Oh, great.

[B]

She's got it. You're dating the hot receptionist then.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Hot, hot reception.

[B]

Let's go. Nice.

[A]

Good for you.

[B]

Every guy's dream.

[D]

Yeah, she's a smoke show too. It's not like she's ugly.

[A]

Oh, yeah?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

It's the fact she changes her hair every other day though, so.

[A]

Oh, that's nice.

[B]

Yeah, I don't think you should propose to her.

[D]

Because of the hair, Miles.

[B]

Well, so she's. She's into hair and she's gonna be a nurse. That's like recipe for peeing your car and. And taking a baseball bat to your tinted windows, you know?

[D]

Oh, no, it's much worse when you have tinted windows because then you got to get a new window and new tin.

[B]

Yeah, it's. That's. You gotta think about that stuff when you're gonna marry a nurse. Slash, girl that's into hair.

[D]

Not into hair. She likes getting her hair done.

[B]

She's not like a crazy into hair. Yeah, it's a gateway, you know? She's gonna then drop out of nursing school and become a hairdresser, and next thing you know, you don't have any windows in your truck.

[D]

She becomes a hairdresser. I am long gone.

[A]

She. She's doing her hair every other day Though, Like.

[D]

No, no, not. No. Like. Like, that was a. That was a phrase. She likes to get her hair, like, colored every.

[B]

A lot.

[A]

What color is it now?

[D]

Right now it's black. And it was just blonde. Like blonde.

[A]

Blonde.

[B]

And you're like, dude, I like routine. I don't like change. I just. I can't come home and play the hair roulette game. Has she ever had blue hair?

[D]

No, no, not that type of cow.

[A]

Red hair. Has she become a redhead?

[D]

No, no, no.

[A]

So she just goes between brunette and blonde?

[D]

Brunette, blonde, Black. Jet black. Yeah.

[A]

Nice.

[D]

And all that stuff.

[B]

What's your favorite hair color on her?

[D]

I like blonde.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

I like blonde or brunette. Brunette. Brunette, actually. Brunette's really nice. I like brunette.

[A]

What's her natural hair color?

[D]

I really couldn't even tell you anymore.

I'm pretty sure it's like a brunette. Brown.

[A]

Okay.

[E]

Okay.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Dirty bun. Yeah, there you go.

[B]

Well, here. How about we do this? Anyone got coin?

[A]

Yeah, you're.

[B]

You got a coin? Let's. We'll just do a coin.

[A]

This the first ever bellied up. Well, if we can find a coin.

[B]

A proposal coin flip. Does anyone have a coin? Oh, I don't have a coin or anything.

[A]

We flip the V10. Let's do that.

[B]

Yeah. Jared's.

[A]

Jared's 10. All right, so this is heads.

[C]

If you get.

[A]

Yeah. If you get the warning, this product is nicotine. Nicotine's addictive chemical. Then it's a no go. But if you.

[B]

Okay, so heads is.

[D]

Copenhagen can. What is it?

[A]

It's a Velo.

[B]

It's. It's like a nicotine pouch. Like a Zen, basically.

[D]

If Velo's on the top, it's heads.

[C]

If.

[D]

Okay, messages are on the bottom, it's tails.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Correct. Yeah, no, yeah, we got it. Heads is you're gonna propose to her. Tails, you're not. Okay.

[D]

Yeah, I think I need Jared to give me the touch on it.

[A]

Okay. Jared touch Jared, you flip.

[B]

All right, what is your call?

[D]

We're gonna do heads. Okay.

[A]

Okay. Miles, you want to do a side bet on this? I bet you five bucks it's heads.

[B]

Wait, wait. He doesn't even need to. He doesn't even need to call it. It's just.

[A]

He already called it. Heads.

[C]

I know.

[D]

Calling it, I guess.

[B]

Wait, wait. Does that mean that you want to propose to her?

[D]

No, you told me to call it.

[B]

I know that was.

[A]

But what does heads mean? What does heads mean?

[B]

That was a mistake.

[D]

Heads is you're gonna marry her, and tails is Not.

[B]

Okay, here we go. All right, here we go. Five bucks.

[A]

Yeah, five bucks.

[B]

So you think. You think it's heads?

[A]

I think it's heads. All right, Jared, you want to get on. On this? $5. You'll do tails. Okay, so. Okay, so I'm gonna pay you both out. $5 sucks.

[B]

All right, here we go. It's in the air.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Let me tell you, it didn't land on the table. Let's try it.

[A]

And it hit my. It. So.

[D]

Yeah, but it didn't land on the table. He's.

[B]

Yeah, we got to redo it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it was.

[B]

It was tails, by the way.

[D]

Let's go.

[B]

Let's go. Best two out of three.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Also, we got to work on.

[B]

We're deciding the fate of his life.

[A]

I think both you guys should pay.

[B]

Me the bed already. It's already flipped once. All right, flip number two. Best two out of three. Tails was first.

[A]

All right, well.

[B]

Well, I think you're moving to Wisconsin next week.

We got two tails in a row, and you just can't argue with fai.

Yeah, well, how does that make you feel, knowing how it makes me feel?

[D]

How many velo's you got in there?

[A]

How many are in there, Jared? Jared's got three left.

[D]

Could be setting off the. The weight balance, you know?

[B]

Okay, well, you didn't. You're not accepting the reality. So I think maybe you should propose.

[A]

See, and that's the real test. It's. How did it feel in your soul when you heard the results?

[B]

No.

[D]

No, it didn't feel good.

[A]

Okay, well, there you have it.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

Yeah, I think.

[D]

I think we're moving to Wisconsin in seven years. Okay.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

With her mom?

[D]

Yeah, with her mom.

[B]

Yeah. You can get a nice mother in law suite, though, at a nice plot in Wisconsin, you know?

[D]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

Get a job where you build the road or build the interstate to Wisconsin.

[D]

America, Charles.

[B]

America. See, that's the problem with people from Wisconsin. They think America is Wisconsin. It is. And they. They're the center of the universe.

[A]

It is.

[D]

I mean, it is the cheese capital. And cheese is pretty damn good.

[A]

Dudes moving to Wisconsin for sure guys are going to be packers fans.

[B]

Hey, maybe plus side, seven years from now, maybe interest rates will drop by then a little bit. You never know.

[D]

I think they'll be higher.

[B]

You gotta be optimistic.

[D]

I'm trying to be optimistic here.

[B]

All right, well, there we go.

[A]

Hey, we're happy that we could help you out here. We think we've solved the rest of Your life, the biggest decision of your life has been solved right here on the Bellied up podcast.

[D]

Right here on the Bellied up podcast. You guys need to come to Long island for a show. I want to Bellied up live in Long Island.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, we'll be there. What's the best bar in Long Island?

[D]

You're going to go to Patchog. Patchog, Suffolk County. Patchog. There's. There's actually this new bar, used to be called the Meatball Place, which was amazing, but it's actually called Amsterdam now.

[A]

Okay, so. Sounds fun. Amsterdam, Patchog. Yeah. Good man. Well, Matthew, thanks for calling in, dude.

[D]

Thanks, boys. First time I've ever talked to some famous people.

[A]

Well, you're gonna have to.

[B]

Now I want you to think about, are we actually famous? We are currently podcasting at a gas station.

[D]

So that's the most famous you can ever get.

You got a caller.

[A]

Yeah, it's true.

[D]

All the way across the America in a gas station.

[A]

That's true. We got the guy building America calling.

[B]

Podcast of us at a gas station.

[A]

Freaking. Hey, man. Freaking.

[D]

So when is this podcast coming out?

[A]

A couple weeks. Yeah, you can just have her listen to it and then be on your knee after the fact.

[D]

That's exactly.

[B]

I don't think she's gonna love all the bad stuff he said she said about her.

[D]

No, I didn't say any bad.

[A]

He didn't say bad stuff. He just said stuff he wasn't sure of, and we told him that wasn't that bad.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

And you told me that it was a sure thing.

[A]

We did say a coin toss.

[B]

You did consent to us doing a coin toss on whether you should propose to her?

[D]

On my life. Marriage.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what? You should get a ring and you should get a velo and put the ring in the velo box. And that's the fate right there.

[D]

Instead of. Instead of the diamond, I'll do a velocity.

[A]

Oh, there you go. There you go. Then your answer will be made for you.

[B]

Love that.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I like that. Okay.

[B]

All right, dude. Well, thanks for calling in. And Wisconsin in seven years.

[D]

Yeah, thanks for calling me. I appreciate it, guys.

[B]

Have a good one.

[D]

Watch out for deer.

[A]

Watch for deer. We'll see you soon.

Well, Miles, you know, no, I can't.

[B]

I can't say that that was the most proud I've been of us, considering. We thought a coin flip was going to be good. Good for that scenario.

[A]

I'm proud of myself, frankly. I mean, think of how far I've come He. When he said he was 23, she was 22. Historically, what have I said? Historically, I've said, die. It's never gonna work.

[B]

And I didn't even bring up your divorce, remember? I mean, about that. Look how much we've grown.

[A]

We've grown so much, you know, because historically, I would have said, don't even think about it. Your brain's not fully developed, my guy. But who am I to judge? I mean, your brain's not fully developed.

[B]

No.

[C]

Clear.

[A]

Every day on this podcast.

[B]

Hey, at least I'm not 48. My brain's not developed like you.

[A]

I'm not 48, Miles. I'm 38. All right, you're 38.

[B]

I thought you're 37.

[A]

I had a birthday that. You didn't say happy birthday.

[B]

I definitely said happy birthday to you, man.

[A]

How come you didn't know my age?

[B]

It's April 27th.

[A]

Yeah, it is.

[B]

Boom. Yeah, done.

[A]

Your birthday.

[B]

When's my birthday?

[A]

It's in March.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Yeah. 19th.

[B]

See, he. That's not correct.

[A]

17Th.

[B]

Not correct.

[A]

18Th.

[B]

That's when I got married. Not correct.

[A]

Dude.

[B]

So what is it?

[A]

Second?

[B]

20.

[A]

Second, 20. Yeah, that was my next guess. That's because that's my sister's birthday. I knew that.

[B]

You didn't know that.

[A]

Actually, I did know that.

[B]

You didn't.

[A]

Well, my brain's not fully developed, so.

[B]

All right, folks, we have our favorite lawyer on the line, Mr. Russell Nicolet. How you doing today?

[C]

You?

[E]

I'm doing well, guys. Thanks for having me on. Always a pleasure to talk with you.

[A]

Oh, the pleasure is all ours, Russell. Honestly, really is.

[B]

We're kind of in holiday season. Russell, pretty curious. What would you say is the number one injury that you come across during the holiday season? Like, is it, you know, fist fight with your cousins? Is it? What is it?

[E]

Well, so I would say around the holiday season, we do see some folks getting in bar fights. We don't really handle a lot of that, but we do get calls about that quite a bit.

[B]

I don't know, just something about the holiday cheer, you know, a little too much cheer.

[E]

I mean, we get people that call us a lot about hitting the deer. There's not a whole lot we can do. We, you know, we tried to sue the deer before, but it just never works out real well. So, you know, we give.

[A]

That's good to know. You can. We can't call you after we hit a deer.

[B]

Yeah. You're suing Mother Nature, you know.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Gonna hold up in court.

[E]

Usually. Got to Go to your own insurance company and ask them about taking care of the property damage or whatever, so. But my wife hit a deer the other day with her truck, and then she was telling me about. Or actually my kids were telling me about when I got home. And miraculously the next day that it like the damn popped out. So I guess it just fixes itself.

[A]

God put the dent in. God took it out, man.

[E]

That's very true.

[A]

Was it a nice deer? Did she bring it home?

[E]

No, she. Apparently it ran out, hit it, and ran away.

[A]

Oh, no.

[E]

At least that's a story because I wasn't there. But, you know, my kids vouched for it. Actually, they told me. At first she didn't tell me it, but then she. She said, yeah, that's what happened. And then I'm like. She wanted to show me the dent and I forgot to look. And then the next day it was gone.

[A]

So I was like.

[E]

I guess that's like you said.

[A]

And that's a life lesson, you know, if you ignore some long enough, it'll just work itself out.

[B]

100. Couldn't be a bigger fan of that mentality, Charlie.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Yep.

[E]

Procrastination paid off.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

This mole probably just go away. I mean, it looks a little odd right now, but, you know, I'm sure.

[B]

If I wait for it to grow more, it'll probably be easier for them to cut off.

[A]

That's.

[B]

Might as well wait.

[A]

That's true.

[E]

Yeah, that's pretty much the way I. My mentality for any health things I just say it'll probably just go away right as I get older.

[D]

I'm sure.

[A]

Cut to like nine months from now. Someone took our medical advice on this show, Russell, and they're calling you to sue us. What would you do?

[E]

Yeah, tell them we were just kidding. We really do want you and encourage you to hit regular medical checkups and follow through the advice from your physician. We are not doctors.

I have a juris Doctor, so I'm kind of a doctor.

[A]

Don't confuse it, Russell. Don't confuse it.

[E]

Yeah, we're not medical doctors. Even. Even if we sound really smart, we're not medical doctors.

[B]

We don't know you guys.

[E]

I was calling in and I was talking. I would be like, these guys are super very wise guys, and I need to know what they want me to do for medical treatment. And I probably just follow your advice.

[A]

Bunch of wise guys here. All right, well, listen, so we can call you Dr. Nicolet. Technically.

[E]

Yeah, don't do that.

[C]

Some.

[E]

Some other lawyers, especially Old lawyers. Once in a while, we'll call their lawyers, that is. They think it's funny. Like, I. There was an old lawyer, used to call me Dr. Nicolet. Every time I saw him, he was a lawyer, too. And obviously, I'm not a medical doctor. Not that smart.

[B]

But you have a doctorate.

[A]

He's got a doctor. Fine. All right. Doctorate. Doctorate. Nicolet. Thank you for calling in, man. This was fun to. I feel like we got to know you a little bit better on this call.

[E]

Well, thanks for having me, guys.

[A]

Rich? Yes, hey, it's. It's me, Charlie, and my buddy Miles.

[C]

Holy shit. It's the. It's the Barons and Miles. Twins. I love it.

[A]

Okay, yeah, just a couple twins.

Coming to you. Do a little chit chat. Now, listen, we heard that your daughter is gonna marry a fella and you're not totally sure.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, it's. It's a sticky situation.

[B]

Kind of sticky. Are we talking?

[C]

All right, you're at an 11. I need you at a 9.

[A]

Miles, come on.

[C]

He's a good fella. He really, truly is. Now, let's give you a little bit of backstory. My. My daughter was married previously to a fellow where I had kind of the same inkling.

Charlie, please don't play anything into this, okay?

[A]

Miles already kicked me once. You said she was married previously. I.

[B]

What?

[A]

No, like every divorce.

[B]

My leg started cramping up, and it just happened to hit your leg at that moment.

[C]

You know, somehow you don't even need to see the video podcast to know exactly what happened, when it happened.

So. Anywho, he's. He's a good enough fella. Like I said, he did He. You know, he. He is a very good partner for my daughter, and he's really good to my granddaughter. But like I said, this is like, you know, how you get that gut feeling about something and it's, you know. You know what I mean? Just that, you know, whether it's, you know, divine intervention or your little man in your head or whatever, but it's just that feeling. And I. I had it for the first guy, and I went against it, and it ended up very, very unfortunate. I mean, gladly, you know, get the blessing of a granddaughter, but I kind of have that feeling with this guy, and I don't. Can't put my finger on why. So maybe I'm looking for a little advice to, you know, maybe getting to know him better. I mean, I thought. I know him pretty well.

[A]

Anyways, let's blow this apart a little bit. Let's just let's just put some air, some oxygen around. First guy. What. What was wrong with him?

[C]

Well, he had a whole other second family. Oh, yeah, that's a problem.

[A]

Now.

[C]

He disappeared on the. Disappeared on the rehearsal. The. The day of the rehearsal dinner because his second family mama was going into labor.

[A]

Oh.

Whoa, dude. So did you know about the second family? While.

[C]

Absolutely not. Absolutely not. It came out because.

Some kind of a Facebook post and the second baby. The second. Why? Whatever. They weren't married. But the second baby mama saw it and then started digging and then found my daughter's Facebook page and saw the pictures of them together and them getting married.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

So wait, he left rehearsal dinner to go see the birth of his child and then they still got married the next day?

[C]

He had no idea. Went. That morning, he said he was. He went on a four hour jog. Give me a break.

[B]

It'd be funnier if he was like £300.

I'm just trying to fit into the tux, you know?

[C]

Yeah. I mean, I don't even like to do anything I. That feels good for four hours, let alone that anyway.

[B]

Nor would I have the stamina, you know?

[C]

Exactly.

[D]

See?

[A]

So wait, wait, wait. Let's back this up just a second. So the night before he goes to his baby. Your daughter has no idea, right?

[C]

She has no idea.

[A]

She has no idea.

[C]

And so he was very good about covering his tracks, I will say that. And his family was involved in that too, so that was a whole nother aspect. They were covering for him.

[B]

They knew.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Well, the dad did the same thing to his mom.

[A]

Oh, my God. Holy smokes.

[C]

See, it just keeps getting deeper.

[A]

Yeah. Did. Did. How long were they married?

[C]

About eight. Well, let's see. They were married a year when my granddaughters were. I would say about. I'd say almost two years.

[A]

Two years, okay. Yikes, dude.

[B]

Yikes. And I just don't. How do you pull that off? Like, I don't know the logistics of having. It's not even just like, okay, you have another girlfriend. Fine. Right. You have another kid on top of your already family. Like, how do you. What it. How do you even make that work?

[C]

Yeah, I don't know. I mean, you got it. You've got a young kid, Miles. You know exactly what it's like.

[A]

When.

[C]

Do you have any extra time?

[B]

No, I don't exactly.

That's.

[C]

That.

[A]

That's just.

[B]

That's a.

[A]

That's a sickness right there. That's crazy. So then when he. Did he get any money out of the divorce?

[C]

No, not really. He.

This is gonna sound really horrible, but I really don't care. My wife and I gave a lot of money to a very much of a shark divorce attorney to make sure he got nailed to the wall.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yes. That doesn't sound bad.

[A]

Get that money, baby.

[B]

There's a reason why. There's a reason why we have money. It's for that reason right there.

[C]

That's exactly it. You know, I never saw Hearst towing a money truck. You might as well have some fun.

[B]

Yes. Right.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. So you think that potentially this guy could also have a second family?

[C]

No, it's not that. I. I gotta tell you, I don't think this guy's capable of that. But then again, I. You know, man.

But at the same time, I think that if I would have spent more time getting to know.

My daughter's ex, maybe it might have been different because everything was very, very superficial with that kid. Right. And he was a pathological liar. He had actually told my daughter when they were dating that he was overseas in the Marine Corps and in Afghanistan, Iraq. Come to find out, the son of a. Never even left the freaking States. I think he said it. Spent his gig in Paramus and then he go. And then he got an early general discharge because they said they were done with them.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Early discharge. Family too.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[A]

Holy.

[C]

So anyway, I. I just. I don't know, maybe I'm looking for some advice of how I could kind of, you know, either put my finger on it directly and so.

[B]

So, you know, I mean, we also got a diagnosis of maybe you have a little bit of PTSD from the guy who had stolen valor about going overseas, you know?

[C]

Right. Oh, yeah, that. Well, you know, any. Any. Anybody's going to be pissed about something like that, Right? At least if they have a conscience.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you gone fishing with him yet?

[C]

The. The new one or the old one?

[A]

The new one.

[C]

He's really not much of a fisherman.

He's got it. You know, he's from. He's from an industrial part of Pennsylvania. He grew up. So he didn't really grow up, you know, with that. With being able to go to the outdoors and all that kind of stuff.

[A]

Yeah, I get that. I get that.

[C]

Okay. He didn't have the same blessings we do. Right.

[A]

Yep. No, I get it. No shame there. Now, have you gone. How much. Like, how long have they been dating?

[C]

So they've lived together for over two years. And let me tell you about. So real quick. And this is why I Even feel a little bit more guilty about having this reserv. He reached out to me and my wife, myself and my wife, and invited us out to dinner, just the three of us, to. Not a cheap restaurant. You've been to Denver before, Charlie. He took us out to Radizio.

[A]

Oh, that just sounds expensive. I've never been there.

[C]

Yeah, I wasn't. I wasn't afraid to utilize the bar, Trust me.

[B]

Raped him over to the coals.

[C]

I said, you know what? I want you to bring me a steak and lobster. Then I want you to throw that on the floor, bring me another one.

But he asked for our blessing even before he proposed to my daughter and showed us the ring and everything.

[A]

Well, that's. That's a class act, right?

[B]

I mean, that was your opportunity, though I think you. I think you missed it. Right? Like, this is calling into this podcast. I hope it didn't happen a few weeks ago, maybe when you left the voicemail like before you did this. But yeah, I mean, that was your opportunity.

[C]

Yeah, I know. And my wife and I kind of knew. I mean, I was. I kind of knew. And what I told him was I kind of gave him like a back door blessing, so to speak, though, you know, there's nothing more there.

[B]

The old blessing, reach around.

[C]

Blessing, sphincter tap dance. Anyway.

[B]

You sound like a great father in law.

[C]

We. So what I said was, I said, you know, I said, our approval is not. The approval that you need, is my daughter's approval. And that's the most. That's the most important. And I said, you make my daughter happy and as long as you never hurt her. It's not my approval that you need, it's hers.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

But go ahead.

[B]

See, so it was classic. Just delegate the decision to your daughter.

[C]

Oh, yeah, no, I know all the management speak, bro. I worked in that industry way too.

[B]

Long, you know, just answer the question with a question. You know, do you think my thing, my daughter has your approval?

Well, let's see. Is he. Is he at home every night?

[C]

Yeah, he is. He's. He's pretty much at home.

Yeah, he is.

[B]

That's a good start, you know?

[C]

Right.

[B]

Hard to have another family with a kid if you're not. If you're at home every night.

[C]

That's true.

[B]

True.

[C]

That's very true.

[A]

Does he have a good job?

[C]

That's really true. He does. He's actually an apprentice plumber and he's about ready to take his. I'm. What's the next step? Is that. Is it journeyman?

[B]

Yeah. Probably.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

He's gonna make some real good money.

[C]

Yeah. I mean. Yeah. Plumbers. I mean, other than electricians. Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And welders.

[C]

And.

[A]

I mean, and welders.

This guy's seen some.

[C]

You seem some shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I gave up on the joke as soon as it came out of my mouth.

You do seem like a good father. Have you guys. Have you guys done any, like, have you. Have you spent extended time with them? Golfing. Not just fishing, but. Golfing. Hunting.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Croquet, actually.

[C]

Okay. Actually, we did. We went one time last year, last season, which was an abysmal season because, you know, I live in Denver, so I'm a long suffering Rockies fan. He and I went to the businessman special on, you know, which is the Wednesday afternoon game. Just he and I. Oh.

[A]

And no. No red flags.

[C]

Well, it's. What's funny is he's.

[A]

He.

[C]

No. Yes and no. I. Like I said, I can't put my finger on it. We had a good time. He was very respectful. You know, he was very respectful. You know, didn't say anything derogatory. You know, the other thing I was looking at and maybe as we.

[B]

He's not a racist.

[C]

Yeah, he wasn't racist.

[B]

He's not a Nazi. You know, no, you know, baseline stuff just.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. You know, it's got a receding hairline, so I thought maybe, you know, he was a nihilist. But no, not so much.

So.

But what I was looking at, and I just realized this, is that when guys. With my daughter, I have two daughters, I always look at where their eyes are at. You know, when. When you're talking to my daughter, where are your eyes?

[B]

Chest. Or they add her eyes. Exactly. And yeah, he's a. He's a clearly a boob guy. That's a concern.

[C]

No, no, no, no. Is that he. When we were. What I. What. What I also look at is where are their eyes out. When we're in public, what's he looking at? Is he checking out? You know, the gala just walked by and the. The. In the Lululemons or, you know, whatever.

[A]

Why don't you get so specific? Yeah, like, was he checking out that gal in the pink Lululemon with the great ass?

[B]

He's like, I. I check to see if there's any good looking women around just to see what he's looking.

[C]

It's every f. You'll learn. It's every father's prerogative. Parental and trans much.

[B]

Yeah.

Now you just want to throw this out there and. And I'm gonna throw it out there. I ask that no one gets offended by this, but a lot of times gals will, will look for, for men in their life that are similar to their father. I'm just gonna throw that out.

[A]

Wow, dude, I wasn't even gonna bring that up, Miles.

[D]

You thought about it, though?

[A]

No, A little bit.

[B]

And again, just throwing that out there. We can kibosh that real quick. Just throwing that out there.

[C]

So I, I appreciate that, that perspective, Miles, but let me just respond to that with you bastard.

[B]

I also would have accepted you can go yourself. That would have also been acceptable.

[C]

No, I like you too much to say that now. I, I, you know, I, I thought about that.

Right after you said that. I was like, so. Well, wait a minute. What is. Should I be offended or flatter?

[B]

I think in her scenario, you should probably be offended.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, look, that's not always the case either. There, there's some that go completely opposite, so. But let's get back to where I.

[B]

Married a gal like my dad, so.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I remember. I, I, There was one time I hurt my hand and Miranda was like, you'll be fine. I was like, oh, my God, I'm dating my dad now. What the hell is going on?

I mean, it can go either way, you know, I was like, but, but did what, what about his eyes? Where were his eyes going?

[C]

So he was generally, he had, he was either. I mean, he's, he's really good about eye contact. I mean, you know, it is when you talk to somebody and they don't make eye contact with you. It's like, okay, what are you hiding? Type thing. But he always makes really good eye contact. But I did see his eyes kind of wander, you know, one time because there was a gal who's sitting in front of us, turns out, in chatting with her, she's a Broncos cheerleader.

[B]

I love how he's getting mad for looking at her. And you were hitting on it. So what's.

[C]

Hey, my wife is gonna listen to this, man.

[B]

You brought it up. Yeah, she's a Broncos cheerleader. You know, she was actually born in Arizona. She got a boob job, but honestly, you wouldn't even be able to tell.

[A]

She loves skiing in Vail.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She loves, she actually can do the splits. She can do the splits. Very flexible.

[A]

Standing up even.

[B]

And can you believe it? He was looking at her.

[A]

Who struck up the conversation with the cheerleader.

[C]

Bold move. For. And that's the other thing too. He's a really, he's well, my. My daughter's pretty short. She's 5 2, but this guy is 5 1.

[A]

This dude's 5 1?

[C]

Yeah, I'm 6 4.

[A]

He's laughing about it.

That's the.

[B]

We've.

[A]

We uncovered the real issue.

[B]

I mean, she could just like, put him in. She could just put him in her purse. You know, they always talk about that, like, the wife's got the guy's balls in her verse. She just put the whole guy in the purse.

[C]

Yeah. I'm telling you, if it was any worse, she'd be dating we. Man.

[A]

I can't wait to hear your speech at this wedding. Dude, it's just gonna be a roast of this guy.

[C]

Well, that's the other thing too. Now I gotta pay for another wedding. Are you kidding me?

[B]

I think that maybe that's the move. Just say, honey, you are on your own. And if she's like, I can't afford it, be like, well, I guess you can't get married.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Hey, there you go.

[A]

How bad does his height bother you?

[C]

It doesn't really. It really, really doesn't. And keep saying really, really. It. Honest. Really.

No, in all sincerity, it doesn't. It's just kind of. You know, I joke about it all the time. He was over and he was helping me cook, and I was like, hey, can you grab the olive oil? It's on that third shelf. I was like.

Couldn'T reach it. I was like, you want a boost there, squirt?

[A]

I would love to hear this guy's perspective of it. He's gonna be like, I'm 5:1. You think I'm gonna get a Broncos cheerleader?

[B]

He's like. He's always staring at these butts and it's like. That's because that's eye level.

[C]

Exactly. You know what? That's a great point. That's a great point. Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Well, I think you guys got. I think we got some good things for me to ponder, some good things to think about doing. So. I appreciate that. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, you know, God bless the short kings out there, but, you know, it's. It's gonna be cheating. Isn't necessarily number one in their. In their category. You know.

[C]

True.

[A]

Because you got to think about, you know, the. The opportunity here. And a lot of girls, that's like a non starter, you know. Unfortunately not. Not saying it's right, but yeah, there'll be less opportunity.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I just want everyone to know. Let's listen to this. That Charlie Barron says that short people, they just. They can't get girls.

[A]

No, that's not what I said, Charlie Baron.

[B]

Short people.

[A]

Short people get a lot of girls.

[B]

Short. You just have to know what you can get.

[A]

Short. No, Your daughter's beautiful woman, Right?

[C]

Darn Tootin.

[A]

Yeah. He's got a beautiful daughter. And I'm. And short guys do get a lot of girls. They do. No doubt. I'm just saying it's. A lot of girls are sexist on hikes.

[C]

Height.

[A]

They're sexist. Their height is. Yeah. And so I'm. What I was pointing out was the terrible societal trend of, you know, women needing that 60 category or it's a no go.

[C]

Well, you know, that's a great point, Charlie, because you've seen those tick tocks as well where that guy's on the pier and he's asking gals, is height important to a guy, to a girl? And they're like, absolutely. And he's like, okay, get on the scale then.

[B]

I have seen that.

That is funny.

[C]

Yeah. You know, nobody wants to bang a guy. They have to go get a booster chair, though. You know.

[A]

He just called in the roast. This dude. That's all he's doing. You got more. You got a whole list of them, don't you? You're just crossing them off.

[C]

Yeah, he's just two inches shy of being a Oompa Loompa.

[B]

When, when you went to that fancy restaurant in Denver, when the waitress asked, how many of of you will there be? What did you say?

[C]

Two and a half.

[B]

We're gonna need a booster seat.

[C]

Can you get him a menu we can color on?

So I'm just gonna leave. Okay. I just want. I'm gonna. The last thing I'm gonna say about this guy, and it truly is a good guy guy, so to give you an image of what this looks like. No, dude, I swear to God, he looks exactly like him, except he's got a little bit of a beard. You guys have seen the movie Basketball, correct?

[B]

I have not. Jared has.

[A]

Jared's seen it. I, I, I used.

[B]

I.

[C]

He looks exactly. He looks exactly like Squeak, right down to the haircut.

[B]

Wait, wait. Just not a great name to be, to be someone.

[C]

Oh, it's not in the movie.

[A]

Oh, that's Dude.

[B]

Oh, man.

[A]

How old is he?

[C]

I think actually he's two years younger than my daughter. He's 30.

[A]

He's 30. Your daughter's 32. Man, let's. So let's Squeak have his day, dude.

[C]

I think absolutely, maybe. Okay.

[B]

There's nothing that's screaming at me. That's like this guy shouldn't marry your daughter. Her. You know?

[C]

Yeah. Okay, so just out of curiosity, does your. Your lawyer sponsor there, does he handle divorce?

[A]

Oh, he does not.

[B]

Why are you looking somewhere else? You already found.

[A]

Yeah. You found the shark.

[C]

Yeah, well, second time. You should do it on a coupon type thing, you know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Discounted rate.

[A]

How long have they been dating again?

[C]

They've lived together for almost three years.

[B]

So how long have they been dating?

[C]

They dated for about. I think they dated. Oh, you know, that's a great point, Miles. I think they dated for almost a year before they moved in together.

[A]

Okay, how many years ago she get divorced?

[C]

5. 5.

[B]

4.

[A]

Okay, so she met him right there, you know.

[B]

Does your granddaughter like them?

[C]

She loves them.

[B]

Okay, well, you're.

[A]

You're set. You just wanted to call in the roast squeak a little bit, which we get.

[B]

We can't call him. You can call Cheese curd. Squeaky Cheese Curd.

[C]

He was. What was that? He was also in that movie, Orgasmo. That same actor. Guys haven't seen that?

[A]

No.

[C]

Trey Parker. Matt Stone, about the. A Mormon porno star.

[A]

Oh.

Gasmo.

[C]

Or. Or Gasmo.

[A]

Orgasmo. Okay, I'll have to watch that.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, that's a good one. Let me see here. Oh, yeah, sure.

[B]

Yeah, I think. I think you're all right. I think there's a little bit of PTSD from the last guy, and I think it'll be all right.

[E]

All right.

[B]

Just think. Just. Hey, also, just let you know, it can't be worse than the last guy. Like, unless this guy turns out to be Jeffrey Dahmer and murders your daughter. Not to put that in your mind, but.

[A]

But you just.

[B]

That would be the only way. It could get worse, in my opinion. So I think if he doesn't feel like a. A murderer, I think you're going to be all right. Can't be.

[C]

I think I did kind of freak him out one time because he came over and I was cleaning my shotgun.

[A]

What do you hunt?

[C]

You know what? Anymore? I don't really hunt. I was always a big. I was a big pheasant dunk duck guy, but now I just shoot skeet.

[B]

Nice trap.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Have you taken him to shoot some skeets beat?

[C]

He's very.

Don't get me wrong, because I don't, you know, I don't judge people on their politics for the most part, but he's very left wing and, like, are liberal about guns and not a big fan and all that, and I respect that. Then just stay away from it. But keep your mouth shut.

[A]

But not even a. Not even a shock. Shotgun, you know, left wing. I mean, that's just a good shot on a pheasant.

[C]

Darn.

[A]

Too.

[B]

But it's a bad shot. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, it's a bad shot. You're right. I can't make the jokes that. Make them make sense.

[B]

Miles.

[A]

Come on.

Yeah, well.

I don't know. I. I think you're good. I think you're good.

[C]

I think so. I think you guys are right.

[B]

Your daughter's also 32 years old. You know, I mean, you've done all the work that 25 cut off, you know, like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Some point you got to cut the cord.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And even at this point, if you did have a problem with it and you say something, you. It's not going to probably go well.

[B]

You know, they're probably still.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right. I think it's going to be fine.

[A]

Yeah, I think it's going to be fine.

[B]

Honestly, if you're really worried about it, you just need to do a meet the parents situation and just get surveillance on this guy for a while.

[A]

Yeah. Put a tractor on his car.

[B]

Already willing to pay for a good lawyer. You got to know someone in the CIA you can hire for a side job.

[C]

One of my buddies that I went to high school with works for the Colorado Bureau of Investigation.

[A]

Oh, there you go.

[B]

There you go. Yeah, there you go.

[A]

Yeah. You should call him. Did you run a background report on him? You know, if he's a criminal?

[C]

Yeah, I did.

[A]

He did that. He did that as soon as they started dating.

[C]

No, when they moved in together is when I did. Did it.

[A]

And nothing clean.

[C]

Nothing clean as a whistle.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You're good, man.

[B]

Yeah, you're good.

[C]

And in my defense, doing that, you know, it's not just my daughter I think about. I got to think about my granddaughter, too, you know?

[A]

Yeah. No, you're. You don't have to justify this to us.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Good.

Well, hey, listen, I. I know we're getting long on time here, but before I go, I gotta kind of tell you guys a little a story here. Charlie, I first discovered you during pandemic.

During the pandemic. Through your quarantine bartender stuff.

[A]

Which is great. Thank you.

[C]

And I gotta tell you, I had old fashions in the past, and I just thought they were disgusting.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

But I tried yours and I figured it out. It's because it was made with bourbon and not brandy. So we make your style. I use your Recipe for our old fashions. And we usually do a sour. We don't have jolly good here, so we have to use square Squirt.

[A]

Hey, Squirt works, man. Every time we have your soon to be son in law.

Like that.

Old Fashioned I got in there.

[C]

But so. But every time we have your Old Fashioned. Every time. Charlie. No, I'm not kidding. We tell. We. We toast Grandpa Joe.

[A]

Oh, that's awesome.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

Well, listen, we're. We're gonna send you a bottle of that, all right. So are you cute.

[C]

Oh, awesome. Because I can't get Barons here. I was going to order some, but anyway. But what I want to tell you was, is I discovered you through that. And then I started listening to the podcast and everything like that a few years ago and just really enjoy. You enjoy you guys immensely. But a few years ago we. Look, I said we lived downtown Denver, and so my wife and I had scooters so that we could go to the Rockies game, not pay for parking, all that kind of stuff. Go to nuggets and ads and all that jazz. And so we had Vespa was. And a lady ran a stop sign. She was texting him, driving and plowed me over. Oh. Shattered both my legs, half my face. I was in the hospital for over a month and then I was in a rehabilitation center for over two months where I had to learn to like relearn how to walk and everything like that. I listened to your guys podcasts every single day. Living in that, in that residential and, and the humor that you guys do and everything, all that. It totally helped me take my mind off of the bad stuff and know that. That God gives us good stuff too, even in the bad, most difficult situations. So thank you guys so much for what you do. You know, it's, it's. It sometimes it means more than what you think it does. And that's truly a blessing.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, I really appreciate that. I mean, I can't. It's hard for me to take a compliment, you know, but I mean, I know.

[B]

And that's like, hearing stuff like that is great too, because it also, like, sometimes you're like, it just makes it a little bit more worth it to put out more content and do all that stuff. So we really appreciate that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like, that's the real reason why we want to do it. And I think that. Absolutely, man.

[A]

Yeah. Well, really do appreciate you saying that. And we're. We're going to send you this. This bottle.

[B]

You can send Him a case.

[A]

Charlie. Yeah.

[B]

After that speech. Come on.

[A]

We'll send you a case. All right.

[C]

And I didn't even bring up. I didn't even bring up about, you know, my divorce. 32.

[A]

Oh, Super Bowl. 32. Oh, he's a Broncos fan. Oh, my God. Dude, I cried after that game. Oh, yeah.

[C]

So did we hear Denver, but different reasons.

[A]

Well, congratulations. Tell John Elway we says hi, all right.

[C]

Oh, you know, I. I will. Okay. Well, thanks so much for letting me talk with you guys today. It was a lot of fun. I really appreciate it.

[A]

Super fun. Have fun with your new expanding family.

[C]

Absolutely. I appreciate that. And tell your folks I says hi. Watch out for deer. And miles, change your ear air filters.

[A]

There we go. There we go. Love it. Awesome. Take care, guys. All right.

[B]

Right.

[A]

We'll see you soon.

[C]

Bye.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

What a great guy. What a great guy.

[A]

Good dude. You know, really got that compliment machine going there at the end.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you get uncomfortable when you get complimented?

[B]

It's tough, man.

[A]

I know.

[B]

And. And I think that's just the Midwest way.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I think. I think we did a good job.

[A]

We did a good job.

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's. It's a problem if you're Midwesternest. Like. Like, the fact you have to think about how to respond to a compliment is. It's not great for the Midwest, like, personality. You know what I mean? Yeah. The whole time I'm like, oh, God, the hands are getting sweaty. You know, obviously, like, I. How do you even say how much you appreciate him saying that?

[A]

I know. Listening for. Yeah. Because, you know, I appreciate that more than he appreciates us, and I hope he knows that. He will once he gets that stack of brandies. Can we text him, get his address? I can't now forget to do that. You know, that'd be bad.

[B]

And it's also a good opportunity for us to say thanks to the people that listen.

[A]

Yeah. You guys.

[B]

It gives us a lot of fulfillment and enjoyment to be able to do this, and we couldn't do it without you guys listening and watching. Yeah.

[A]

We really couldn't. We appreciate you guys.

[E]

And.

[A]

Yeah. And. And also, I want to say to all you short kings out there, girls, they're starting to change their mind on that situation.

[B]

She's now playing damage control after basically saying that they have.

[D]

I did it.

[B]

If you're short, you have no path.

[A]

I never said that at all. Press release.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I never said that at all.

[B]

I was straight from the desk of Charlie Baron's PR team.

[A]

I was lamenting the state.

[B]

I was talking PR manager being like, I need a paragraph to save me. Here, here, a paragraph. Go ahead, read it. Pull out your phone. Word for word.

[A]

Charlie Barron's loves short kings.

That's all we got so far in.

[B]

The new PR team.

[A]

I know.

But anyways, Miles, it's been a pleasure sitting here with you at the Quick Star.

[B]

That has been great.

[A]

Right. Right next to the K go sign. And we're just doing our. Doing our thing here in Fargo, North Dakota, and I'm feeling great.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

That's what's up.

[B]

Well, thanks, guys, for tuning in. Watch for deer, and remember to tip your cashier.

[A]

Hey, by the way, do you want to go check the air filter here before they fully open this thing?

[B]

Yeah, we should.

[A]

All right, we'll see you guys.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

Hope you guys have a good one.

[B]

Goodbye, now.

[A]

Toodaloo.