Surviving Wisconsin as a Vegetarian #167

Summary

Bellied Up Podcast

Episode #167: "Surviving Wisconsin as a Vegetarian"

Date: September 11, 2025
Hosts: Charlie Berens (B), Myles the You Betcha Guy (A)
Setting: Burnsy's Bar and Grill, West Allis, Wisconsin

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Episode Overview

This episode of Bellied Up finds Charlie Berens and Myles the You Betcha Guy holding court at a classic Wisconsin bar, dishing out their signature Midwest humor and heartfelt advice. As always, they take live calls from listeners, ranging from relationship quandaries to existential dilemmas about cheese curds. The central theme? Navigating life’s weird spots as a Midwesterner—highlighted by the episode’s titular dilemma: how to survive a Wisconsin wedding as a vegetarian.

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Key Discussion Points & Callers

1. Bar Banter, Midwestern Dining, and Technology Gripes

[00:00–10:47]

• The hosts riff on Burnsy's bar atmosphere, local sports decor, and the joys of Wisconsin bar food (notably the homemade artichoke dip).
• Anecdote: Charlie ditches Myles at dinner, triggering Myles's walk home in work boots.
  • "Those boots weren't made for walking. They're made for work. Short bursts of walking, you know, standing, mostly." – Myles ([03:23])
• Discussion on managing busy lives, ignoring notifications, and the perils of always being online.
  • "I respond to emails once every two weeks or if I'm flying." – Charlie ([06:33])
  • "We peaked as a society in the mid-90s as far as communication goes." – Charlie ([07:57])
• Brief sidebar reacting in real-time to news of Taylor Swift’s engagement.

2. Caller #1: Carter – "How Do I Get in With My Girlfriend’s Outdoorsy Dad?"

[12:33–34:16]

• Carter calls with a Midwest classic: he’s been dating his girlfriend for three years, but her dad (“Mr. Stepanic”) won’t invite him to join in on the family’s outdoor fun.
• The hosts analyze why Carter’s not fully in the fold:
  • Living with his girlfriend pre-engagement may be an obstacle:
    • "You guys are living in sin." – Charlie ([15:00])
    • "Why buy the kayak if you can paddle it for free?" – Charlie ([15:06])
  • Carter's mustache style and career selling youth hockey tickets become topics. Charlie recommends a “just-for-men” mustache and bonding over brute cologne:
    • "He doesn't respect you, then. You got to go full stash. He's a fireman." – Myles ([21:23])
• Extended riffing on Midwestern engagement customs, Catholic wedding expectations, and navigating family dynamics:
  • "In my family, you got to be engaged to bring your significant other on vacation." – Charlie ([32:09])
• Advice: Show initiative ("big dick energy") and consider showing up with a generous gesture (e.g., bringing gas for the boat).
• Memorable moment:
  • "The only way to get the invite is to show up to the lake house with about 26 gallons of gas pre-filled." – Charlie ([30:36])
• Closing guidance: Wait until she graduates, get engaged, and the invites will follow.

3. Caller #2: Russell/Nick (Legal Advice & The Power of a Napkin Contract)

[34:55–44:48]

• Russell, an attorney, drops legal wisdom on the enforceability of bar napkin contracts:
  • "If you have this, it's in writing and it's signed, I don't see why it's not legal." – Russell ([38:16])
  • "One thing with a lot of different contracts is they need to be in writing...but could it be upheld? Yeah." – Russell ([38:44])
• Hilarious scenarios around signing with food stains or blood, napkin deals, and who profits more from a lawsuit on improbable napkin agreements.
• Side banter: Charlie and Myles debate ad-read techniques and the artistry (or chaos) behind them:
  • "Mine's an art form. Yours is a scatterbrained mess." – Myles ([41:31])
  • "This is the rodeo, baby, and I'm the bull." – Charlie ([41:34])

4. Caller #3: Joe – "I’m a Canadian Mennonite, Not Amish!"

[44:49–53:33]

• Joe shares the frustration of constantly being mistaken for Amish due to his Mennonite background.
• Hosts challenge him to educate the masses:
  • "I'm gonna be honest with you, Joe. I'm in that category. So can you explain to us: what's the difference between Mennonite [and] Amish?" – Charlie ([45:51])
• Joe explains Mennonite customs, language (Low German from Mexico), and love of woodworking:
  • "So Mennonites are Mexican people who speak German?" – Myles ([49:06])
• Anecdote: Joe’s team recently lost a 12'x8' concrete wall off an 8-story building, crushing a neighbor's greenhouse:
  • "A wall fell off an eight-story building?" – Charlie ([52:09])

5. Voicemail: Shay – "Surviving a Wisconsin Wedding as a Vegetarian"

[53:36–58:15]

• Shay, a vegetarian, dreads being the odd one out at a Wisconsin wedding.
• Advice from the hosts:
  • Downplay vegetarianism, don’t broadcast—just blame a “stomach bug” or say you’re not hungry.
    • "Don't tell anyone. You are not a vegetarian. You just have a stomach bug." – Charlie ([54:11])
  • Emphasize common ground with cheese curds and offer up untouched meat dishes to hungry guests.
    • "Distract them from the fact that you haven't touched your roast beef and instead get them being like, 'Oh, God, these cheese curds are just great.'" – Myles ([55:43])
    • "Share it around, split it, and just leave one bite of that pork chop for the dog." – Charlie ([56:03])
• Additional joke about how everyone in Wisconsin has cheese curd “overload” stories.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "We peaked as a society in, like, maybe the mid-90s as far as communication goes."
  — Charlie ([07:57])

• "In my family, the rule is you got to be engaged to bring your significant other [on vacation]."
  — Charlie ([32:09])

• "He doesn't respect you, then. You got to go full stash. He's a fireman. You got to meet him on his ground."
  — Myles ([21:23])

• "Pescatarian's a person who only eats pets."
  — Charlie ([55:13]) (in jest)

• "Distract them from the fact that you haven't touched your roast beef and instead get them being like, 'Oh, God, these cheese curds are just great.'"
  — Myles ([55:43])

---

Important Timestamps

• 00:00–10:47 — Opening Bar Banter, Dinner Drama
• 12:33–34:16 — Caller Carter: Outdoorsy Dad Challenge
• 34:55–44:48 — Russell/Nick: Napkin Contracts & Legal Laughs
• 44:49–53:33 — Joe: Mennonite vs. Amish, Concrete Catastrophe
• 53:36–58:15 — Voicemail: Shay’s Wisconsin Vegetarian Dilemma

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Podcast Tone

Laid-back, irreverent, classic Midwestern humor and warmth. The show is a blend of earnest advice and tongue-in-cheek commentary; Myles and Charlie trade friendly jabs and give their audience permission to take life lightly while also cherishing community quirks.

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Summary

This episode is a quintessential slice of the Midwest, filled with relatable stories about awkward relationships, peculiar local customs, and the universal struggle of standing out (whether as a vegetarian or a misunderstood Mennonite). The advice—both earnest and absurd—is always rooted in genuine care and Midwestern practicality. From sneakily surviving a meat-centric wedding to landing your girlfriend’s father’s respect, the strategies are simple: blend in with cheese curds, out-mustache your rivals, and never underestimate the power of a napkin... or a belly laugh.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back, everybody, to another episode of the Bellied up podcast.

[B]

Belly on up. Belly on a. Belly on up to the bar.

[A]

Bellied up at Burnsy's Bar and Grill here in West Dallas, Wisconsin.

[C]

Right?

[A]

We're in West Dallas.

[B]

Dallas, baby. Love West Dallas. Isn't that beautiful?

[A]

It's a great bar. We're on the little. What'd you call it? What do they call this here? The Hump. We're on the Hump. My hump, My hump. My lovely Burnsy bump.

[B]

Oh, look at you. Check it out.

[A]

So, yeah, it's a great bar. Great folks. I see some Packer stuff on the wall. I see some Wisconsin Badger stuff on the bar. This is a great Wisconsin bar, Charlie.

[B]

We had Reggie White, the minister of defense, right up there with Brett Favre, the minister of Crock shot. So, you know, there's a whole deal going on here. We got darts, we got gambling games, pull tabs. Miles, we haven't done pull tabs in a while. I don't know.

[A]

They got very good homemade artichoke dip here that the owner's wife makes.

[B]

It is really good to die over. Like, if I were to choke on that artichoke and not come back, I'd die a happy man. So, yeah, I. I got. I'll get you some pull tabs. I'll do that.

[A]

Well, hold on, Let's.

[B]

I forgot my wallet, though.

[A]

Yeah, classic Charlie Barron's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Speaking of forgetting, Charlie and I were having ourselves a nice dinner.

[B]

Could you turn me up a little bit? I can't hear the. The candor in Miles's voice. Okay, yes. What's going on?

[A]

Me and Charlie were having a nice dinner last night. You know, we both had the halibut Little fish.

[B]

You copied me.

[A]

I said that you asked me what I was gonna have, and I said that you said, that's what I'm gonna have, so. But anyways, we're sitting there having dinner, and Charlie just goes, oh, oh, yeah.

[B]

I forgot about this. I didn't. Well, maybe I did.

[A]

And I'm like, oh, God, what is it now, huh? And Charlie just looks at me and he's like, I have to be at a show in 25 minutes, and I have to go home and shower. So Charlie just got up and left me there with a half a halibut still on my plate.

[B]

Well, would you rather I be late for the show?

[A]

No, no, no, you're right. You're right.

[B]

And in my defense, I was going to pay for dinner.

[A]

Yeah, classic. You might faked it. Just so you get out of paying for the.

[B]

Oh, no, I had a show last night.

[A]

It was. It was. It was pretty funny because he left. The waitress came back and was kind of like, where'd he go? And I was like, yeah, he had. He had leave. And she's like, is he okay? I was like, yeah, he's at the hospital right now. She was really worried that, like, you, like, had a stroke or something. And we had to. But I was still continuing to eat dinner, you know.

[B]

Yeah, well, and that shows what kind of a friend you are. Did you end up walking home?

[A]

I did walk home. And you know what really sucks? I was wearing these boots, which are great, but to walk a couple miles. These boots, after a while starts to wear on you. Mostly my heel and the blister that was there.

[B]

Those boots weren't made for walking.

[A]

Those boots were not made for walking. They're made for work. Short bursts of walking, you know, standing, mostly. Yeah, mostly standing.

[B]

Those boots are made for the guy holding the stop and slow sign.

[A]

Yes, 100%. And what sucks is I had a pair of tennis shoes that I left in Charlie's car.

[B]

Oh, I was going to bring your.

[A]

Car or your truck?

[B]

No, I brought the little car.

[A]

Okay, good. They're still in there. Then I'll grab those.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That was a kick to the nuts.

[B]

Oh, well, it wasn't a kick to the nuts. It was a kick in my car. Miles, here's the thing, is make it to your show. I made it to the show on time. I crushed. It was a great show. It was like 2,000 people. Thank God I remembered it. I mean, that would have been bad News Bears. Thank God I was in the right city. The show was in, you know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I should say I got to get someone to remind me. That person did remind me earlier in the day. I ignored it. And then something you said, Miles, during our dinner. I don't know, something you said about living in the moment. I was like, oh, shit, I forgot. I got a text. I wonder what that's about. And then lopped it up. And lo and behold, I was about to be miss this show. So I'm really grateful, Miles, that you told me to live in the moment, because otherwise it wouldn't have reminded me about, you know, the thing that I had to do.

[A]

The moment. Moment. I think that I was supposed to be doing something else in this moment.

[B]

Yeah. And I was right. So I'm happy. I'm thankful to have you as a friend and, you know, so what is.

[A]

It going to take for you to not have that happen in the future?

[B]

What are you, my dad? My house? This is. I just. I just.

[A]

Have you made it this far?

[B]

I don't know. And I'm going to be.

[A]

Not a talent issue. We know how you made it this far that way, but in terms of just doing the simple thing of knowing where you're supposed to be and being there on time, how have you made it this far?

[B]

The problem was I was like, okay, I need. I need to, you know, set myself up for success and put it in a calendar, a Google Calendar on my phone. But as it turns out, I don't like looking at my phone that often, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so the. The alerts come up and I ignore, and then I might. But people put all sorts of things on my calendar.

[A]

And the funny thing is, is I know this, and he's about 23 out of 24 hours a day. Charlie's got do not disturb on. On his phone. But if you think that I'm not hammering notify anyway on Charlie, you are.

[B]

Dreaming that how that happens. Yeah, I was wondering that. Yeah, you do the notify. You don't respect my space.

[A]

No, because you don't respect my space by responding to me.

[B]

I think I've come up with this beautiful thing, and it's worked out phenomenally for me.

[A]

It's ignore everything in your life.

[B]

Well, it's. I respond to emails once every two weeks or if I'm flying. So if I'm fine, I'll hammer it out, because what else am I going to do? And I got to be doing something else. I can't just be responding to emails. Or I'll go sit on the bicycle and pedal and then I'll hammer out some emails. But my gosh. And also, you're acting like I'm not.

[A]

Emailing you, I'm texting you.

[B]

Well, I. Text is in the same category, because if you start responding to every text, every email, right away, people expect that. So we as a society need to set the expectations.

[A]

It's different because you and I have a child together, and the child is this podcast. Well, I know, like, if Ann texted me something about our child and then I just ignored it for two weeks and then only responded when I was.

[B]

On a plane, you know, I think.

[A]

That Anne would be pretty upset with me.

[B]

Well, with you, it's different. If you call me, that's different. If you call me, I know it's serious and I'll call you back.

[A]

Well, then I'M just gonna start calling you for everything, even if it's not serious.

[B]

Well, then you better be careful. You're playing with. I'll put it back in the category of respondent. Remember when we got physical mail and we got some time to decompress and understand what the letter is and move forward? Those were the days. We peaked as a society in, like, maybe the mid-90s. As far as communication goes.

[A]

You sound like your dad.

[B]

You had a phone that was attached to a rope, so you couldn't bring it fishing.

[A]

And.

[B]

If someone wanted to get you a letter, you had to have a fax machine.

[A]

That's actually a really good business idea that I bet you people would buy it is you basically make a docking station on your wall for your iPhone. And the way you charge it, you plug it in like the case has got a cord attached to it. And you can only use it when you're standing next to it on the thing. You got to set it down.

[B]

I mean, it's perfect.

[A]

People would definitely use that.

[B]

I like that. I like that, Miles. Why don't we invent that?

[A]

We just did. Trademarked already, though.

[B]

Trademark pending. Yeah. That's cool.

[A]

Yeah. Basically just like chain your phone to a wall that's not fun to stand next to.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then it's. And then you can just live in the moment.

[B]

You'd be amazed how quickly you can get stuff done when you. Only when you don't want to be there.

[A]

Shit part is, is when the stuff you got to get done is on your phone. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, you know, there's. There's a time and place for telecommunicating, and it's usually, I don't know, every.

[A]

Two weeks and on airplanes. That's it.

[B]

That's kind of it. You know, why not? So anyways, that's how I'm living my life, Miles. Yeah, well. What? You know, you're lucky. I don't know all the things you've been late for. I wouldn't put you on blast if I knew because I'm a good friend. Do you know Taylor Swift got engaged? I.

[A]

The news just broke as we were recording this, so. Yeah, big news in the bellied up universe.

[B]

Yeah, no, I'm super excited for her and him.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, he just got his meal ticket punched.

[B]

He's.

[A]

He's good to go.

[B]

That's his retirement plan. I mean, my gosh, you know, all the billions of dollars. That'll help ct, I think. Right?

[A]

Like, you think they're going to donate $1 billion to CT research.

[B]

No, they're going to help his CT. I mean, he's played. He's played for how long? He's got to have the cte. Is it CTE or C?

[A]

No, you got it.

[B]

Cbd.

[A]

How does billion dollars help with cte considering that it's an incurable B brain disease?

[B]

Incurable now, but it's all about money. It's how much money you want to shovel into it, you know, and now that there's love, she'll drop a bill on it, get it fixed, you know, and then that'll pave the way for everyone else with city and. Yeah, well, we got off track here, Miles. Should we start the episode?

[A]

Let's do it. Let's take some callers. All right, guys, Prize Picks will give you $50 in lineups. When you play your first $5 lineup lose, you get 50 bucks in lineups. Use promo code. Bellied up. That's one word. Bellied up. When you sign up today, do or.

[B]

My name's Charlie. Miles. Wrong. Wrong. Podcast.

[A]

Yeah, sorry, Charlie. Yeah, Miles, you've been playing some prize picks lately. You having a good time?

[B]

I've been picking some prizes. Let me tell you, I'm glad I.

[A]

Was able to get you on the prize picks train.

[B]

Yeah, you got me on it.

[A]

Sharing lineups back and forth.

[B]

I know. Yeah.

[A]

Winning some money necessarily a lot now.

[B]

You know, you win some, you lose some, and it's kind of fun, you know, you don't have to always go to the casino to kind of get that little fixing in.

[A]

Well, I like playing prize picks because it makes every game kind of matter more, you know?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Like, I like sitting down on the couch on a Sunday, you know, watching Red Zone, watching all the games. And if I got a little skin.

[B]

In the game, I'm a little more into it. I mean, I watched the Browns the other day, Miles, and I got to tell you, that's not something I've historically done, you know, but now we are. Now I'm seeing a whole new world.

[A]

And, guys, Bryce Picks is kicking off week two with the Jalen Hurts free square.

[B]

That don't hurt. That don't hurt.

[A]

Just one completion and you're winning that pick. With prize Picks for new users, play your first $5, get a 50 in lineup, win or lose. Download Prize Picks today. Pick, predict and play Charlie with doggy. Yeah, a little alliteration.

[B]

Let's rock and roll. Miles.

[A]

Carter. Carter. Carter, you got Charlie and Miles here from the Bellied up podcast. I heard that you Got a situation with your father in law?

[C]

Yeah, something like that. I mean, he's not quite yet my father in law.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

But.

[A]

But you know, for the sake of the conversation, he's your father in law. Let's dive into it. What's going on with him? What's his name?

[C]

So his name is. Well, I have to refer to him as Mr. Stepanic.

[A]

Very smart.

[B]

Mr. Stepanic. God, what a great name. Polish man?

[C]

Maybe. I'm not really too sure.

[B]

Well, you're not too sure. You don't know what where Stepanic is from. You're about to marry this gal.

[A]

She's not going to take his last name probably.

[C]

I know she's really big into her. Her Irish heritage and I don't think Stepanic is Irish.

[B]

So Panic's not Irish. Are you sure?

[A]

She's stolen Irish Valor.

[B]

Then some.

[C]

I don't know, Something.

[B]

Anywho.

[A]

Tell us her Stepanic.

[C]

So wait, what'd you say? Miles?

[A]

Yeah, continue on.

[C]

Okay, so me and my girlfriend have been going out. We're going up on three years now. And you know, things are great. We moved in together, you know, we're talking about getting engaged soon and getting married here within the next couple years. But my issue is that her dad has all these like fun outdoor toys, like four wheeler. And he's got like a kayak and a boat and these like paddle boards and stuff. And like, I think he still uses that stuff, especially in the summertime, regularly. But I've yet to get invited to like use any of it. And like, I would love to be part of that and have a good time.

[B]

So. Carter, let me get. Oh, go ahead. No, you go.

[C]

Well, I was just gonna say so I didn't know like what my next move should be here because I thought we were cool, but you know, like, I want to have a good time.

[A]

So let's, let's walk a mile in Mr. Stepanic's shoes here. Yeah, let's paddle a. A mile in Mr. Stefanik's kayak here for a moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, you've been dating his daughter for three years and you moved in with her and still haven't put a ring on her finger. You know what kind of messages that send?

[B]

You guys are living in sin.

[A]

Carter, you know, you know, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

[B]

Yeah, you know why. Why buy the kayak if you can paddle it for free? Why go out on the atv? Why purchase? Well, you get it.

[A]

Same analogy for all why buy a keg when you can get free beers for free?

[B]

Right. Free was redundant there. But you know why? Why put some recreational fuel in the ATV when Stepanic's doing it for you for free? He feels like you're already getting enough.

[A]

Yeah, aren't you getting enough entertainment out of that family?

[B]

Hey, I'm glad you went with that and didn't say you're getting enough free rides. Miles, you're improving as a host here.

[A]

Or I'm.

[B]

Yeah, we're keeping it pg. So, Carter, do you think there's a little bad blood there that you. I mean, you guys have been together for three years.

[A]

Does he like you?

[C]

Well, that's what it like, our. Relate. So my girlfriend and I did meet online, and I know at first that he was a little skeptical of that because we're originally from, like, an hour away. So it was like, his daughter's dating this kid that lives an hour away. And, you know, we met online. And so for a while, like, when we'd go out, like, I would. I was not allowed to go to her house. I'd have to pick her up at, like, a Meijer parking lot, and we would just kind of hang out there.

[B]

How old is she?

[A]

In high school?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So, no, I'm in College. I'm 23. She's just a couple months younger than me. She turns. She's 22, so.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

All right. So.

[A]

Lives at her parents.

[C]

So she was. When we first met, and because we met online, they were afraid that I was gonna be, like, an ax murderer. Which is fair for a while, but they would still let their daughter see me and, like, come to my side of town, which is an hour away, but yet I. They, like, didn't want to meet me, so for a while there, I thought they didn't like me.

[A]

No, he's probably a serial killer. You met him online?

[B]

Yeah, they definitely.

[A]

I've heard there's some stories that people get murdered from that.

[B]

What website? Craigslist.

[C]

No, it was. No, not Craigslist.

[B]

I was doing an act out. That's, like, what her mom would say.

[A]

Yeah, that's her parents having a conversation. You know, he probably doesn't even care about her. He just wants. Wants her for her body.

[B]

Yeah, the milk.

[A]

I thought you were gonna keep going with me there, so. Oh, no, What I said seems a little strange.

[B]

No, no, no, no. I was gonna keep going, but Carter was having a hard time understanding when we were in character, so.

[A]

Okay, well, to let you know.

[B]

In.

[A]

Character or out of character? So right now we're out of character.

[B]

We're out of character. It's just us here, Carter. So. Okay, so it took a while, but, I mean, you can sense a vibe. Does the man like you or not?

[C]

Oh, yeah. No, definitely. Now he does, because we've gone on, like, family vacations, and he said that, you know, I have to go fishing with him one time before he, like, lets his daughter marry me and stuff like that. So I think we're there, but then it's like, well, why aren't you inviting me to go do all these fun things? All those. You know, that's my predicament. It's very confusing.

[B]

Well, who's he inviting to do it? That, like, you're like. They get an invite, but I don't. Maybe he just doesn't want to invite anyone. Maybe that's just hit Mr. Stepanic's alone time.

[C]

You know, that might be true. I mean, I can't think that he. I guess he doesn't invite, like, a bunch of people, but, like, I know, as the family that they do go out and do that stuff, and it's like, well, if I'm supposed to be part of your family someday, I'd like. I'd like to do that.

[B]

Oh, okay. Oh, he wants to be part of the family someday, Miles. He wants to be part of the family. Well, then act like it.

[A]

Well, what is it?

[B]

Put a ring on the finger? Carter, you know, right now, we don't know.

[A]

He doesn't want you to come with because he's waiting for the call saying, hey, let's take that fishing trip, big boy. Yeah, he's waiting for that. He's waiting for you to big dick him a little bit.

[B]

He wants the respect to know that you're going to actually be part of the family before he goes wasting some 91 fuel on you. You know how much that is per gallon these days?

[A]

A lot.

[B]

Recreational fuel with no ethanol. I mean, that's pretty pricey there.

[A]

Yeah, you gotta call him up and say, hey, I'm doing a character, by the way. Hey, miss.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Hey, bud. Don't even say mister. Just calm. Stepanski. Stepanski. Grab your rod. We're going fishing. It's time. You know, maybe.

[B]

It's time for what? You don't even know my last name. It's Stepanic, for God's sake.

[A]

I've already hung up. Already hung up.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He knows where to go.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I'm out of character.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Ballsy move to get the name Wrong and everything. Try that, Carter.

[A]

It's more of an alpha move than. Than getting someone's name wrong, you know?

[C]

Yeah, no, that's true.

[B]

True.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I mean, you know, it's kind of like if you want to take down the wolf pack, you don't take down all the, you know, the whole pack. You just got to take down the alpha dog, and then you become the alpha dog, I think. Yeah, okay. That made bark in his face a little bit. I knew a guy whose dogs weren't listening to him, so he ran him down and bit him in the face to show who's the alpha dog. Listen to him after that. So maybe you need to run down Mr. Stepanski, bite him in the face. I mean, what's he gonna do?

[C]

Okay.

[B]

He's gonna say, you're on bath salts.

[C]

So I think that maybe that that might be worth a try. I just feel bad because, like, he's a firefighter and a first resp. He's also just, like, a good guy.

[A]

Yeah, good guys can still get their face bit, you know?

[B]

He can handle it, though. You think he can't walk? This man's walking into burning buildings every day. You don't think he. Take a little chomper to the cheek? Get over yourself, Carter.

[A]

Here's another question. Do you have a mustache?

[C]

I have a mustache. It's like a goatee sort of situation right now.

[A]

He doesn't respect you, then you got to go full stash. He's a fireman. You got to meet him on his.

[B]

Ground, you know, you're doing a goatee.

[C]

If I could have just a solid, regular mustache, I would, but it's just not in my genetics, I guess.

[B]

It's not in your genetics. It's in the Walgreens aisle. Get some Just for Men filler in there. And, you know, I mean, you think we're all just walking around with what we got on our face using technology? Okay. They got some great Chess for Men products. Put a little silver fox in there, a little salt and pepper, he'll start respecting you. He'll be like, oh, yeah, that's my brand, too.

[A]

Are you sponsored by them or what?

[B]

Yeah, you know what? Gold. Go to the Walgreens, get some brute cologne. You walk in smelling like this man's father, he's going to feel a whole.

[A]

New way about flashbacks.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

PTSD from the smell of the cologne.

[B]

Yeah. So. And what do you do for a living, Carter?

[C]

So I sell junior hockey tickets for a living.

[B]

Okay, you sell junior hockey tickets for a living?

[C]

So right now, I just graduated from Youngstown State University in December.

[B]

Yeah. First job. God. Go ahead, Carter.

[C]

Thank you. I was. I interned there for like a year, and then they brought me on full time to be, like, a salesman. And our team plays in the ushl. Oh, so we play, like the Fargo Force. I don't know.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I've been to a Force game before.

[B]

Well, how'd you get there, Miles? How'd you get to the Force game?

[A]

I went online and bought a ticket. That's where I'm confused. I haven't we replaced ticket salesman by now? What. What do you actually. Who are you selling? These two.

[C]

So we sell. Like. My main job is to sell sponsorships and, like, season tickets, which, you know, you could fill out the form online, but, like, you still gotta talk to somebody about getting all situated, which is me.

[B]

Yeah, this is a. This is a.

[A]

Got it. Got it. You're selling club seats. You know, you're talking to corporations, having them getting a box at the stadium.

[B]

This. This is a good gig. This is a good gig.

[A]

It's just like, standing outside the are a. Like a scalper, you know? Two tickets. Two tickets. Youth.

[B]

Youth hockey.

[A]

Youth hockey. Okay, that makes sense.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, have you. And have you got him a box at the arena before?

[C]

Not a box, but I've gotten him in the whole family tickets before. Like, right on the glass. I mean, you know, a little bit more.

[B]

Yeah, well, right on the glass is pretty good. And what did they. Did they enjoy the game?

[C]

Oh, yeah. And they. My girlfriend's got some younger siblings, so, like, the kids were there and they were entertained the whole time. So the family had a good time.

[B]

This is good. You know what? You know what? I like where you're at, Carter. Okay. You know, when do you think you're gonna propose?

[C]

Oh, man. See, we've been talking about it, and, you know, within probably six months or maybe a year or so. What happened? My girlfriend's still in school.

[A]

What happens to just guys making decisions, you know? When did it turn into a whole conversation about the day, the place, getting the ring picked out beforehand? When the did we get to here? When did we get to that?

[B]

I mean, Miles, you got engaged after a year, didn't you?

[A]

No, it was like five years. But I made a decision when it came down to it. I bought the ring myself. I didn't tell her when we were going to get engaged. Now, she. She sniffed it out because I actually planned something for once, so she kind of figured it was happening. But we never had the conversation of, when do you want to get engaged? You know, it's. What happened to that? When you got engaged? Charlie. No, I'm not doing this as a bit. I. What, did you have the conversation or did you just do it?

[B]

Oh, Miles, I'd have to. I'd have to.

[A]

He doesn't even remember.

[B]

I'd have to, like, go. Go back into the files, you know, and check out what happened there. I. I don't remember, to be honest with you. I don't remember how it all shook out.

[A]

I can't believe that didn't work out for.

[B]

You know. It's not important, though, Carter. Here's what's important. Yeah. You love the girl. You waiting for her to graduate, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. And once she graduates, then. Then you guys. And you're young yet still, you know, so you. Is there. What percentage chance do you think you're gonna get engaged? And what percentage chance do you think you're not gonna get engaged?

[C]

Oh, 100 engaged. Like, we talk about, you know, all right, Starting our life together all the time. Like that's gonna happen.

[A]

Already planned how they're gonna get engaged.

[B]

Did what? When does she want you to propose?

[C]

She wants me to wait because she wants to go be, like, a kindergarten teacher. So she's going into, like, her busy, like, student teaching part of school right now. So she wants me to wait a little bit until she's not as busy with the school. And to me, it's like, well, maybe we could just do that sooner, but, you know, I don't want her to get upset about it.

[B]

Uh oh, that's crazy. Uh oh.

[A]

She's just stacked up. She's just stacked up with so much work. I mean, the amount of blocks she's gotta organize at work.

[B]

Okay, Miles. Okay. You know, kindergarten teachers have to deal with the developmental stages in a young child.

[A]

Apologize for that one.

[B]

And when your kid is off at kindergarten, every day doesn't come back a.

[A]

Little fired up about how it's become this whole thing that everyone plans their engagement? Isn't that the point of engagement, is it's unplanned?

[B]

Well, the gals, they want to get their nails done.

[A]

I apologize, Carter, for that one. That one was a below the belt blow, and I apologize.

[B]

You're blowing them below the belt. And we don't like it here, Miles. That's not how we do it here on the belly.

[A]

Did you think it was, like, a little bit funny?

[C]

No, it definitely is, because, you know, like, I have, you know, I understand the work that she does put in, but, like, at the end of the day, yeah, they do learn some shapes and colors. It's like, okay, what are we doing here?

[A]

All right, suck it, Charlie.

[B]

Well, send her this podcast and you won't have to worry about that engagement anymore.

[C]

Well.

[A]

The pants.

[C]

I don't know about that one.

[B]

What kind of ring does she want?

[C]

Oh, I forget the name of the shape, but it's not like a full. It's the circle with, like, the points on the end.

[A]

Yeah, like, around, but there's, like, a football shape.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, exactly.

[B]

You got the money?

[C]

Oh, yeah, I got all the money saved up. It's been a while, but.

[B]

Oh, yeah, it's there.

[A]

I've been donating plasma for four years.

[C]

Graduated college. You know, the last thing I want to do is, like, those things are expensive.

[A]

The last thing he wants to do is buy an engagement ring. You are digging yourself.

[B]

What's the weirdest thing you've ever done for money? Carter.

[C]

I don't think I've done too many weird things for money. I just recently started door dashing a little bit on the weekends, but, yeah, I wouldn't say that's weird.

[B]

No, no, no, that's not weird. That's pretty standard.

[A]

So when she says she's finally ready to get engaged, you should be like, I don't know, man. I'm pretty busy with door dash right now. I don't think it's a good time for me.

[C]

I don't think. I don't think she'd be too happy with that one. She actually comes with me sometimes when we do doordash.

[A]

I see that once in a while when I. Doordash, there's like, the. There's a guy's name on it, and then a girl drops the stuff off at the door, and then I look at the ring doorbell, and you can see the guys, the driver, and she runs it in.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It's a common thing.

[B]

Yeah, it's a fan. It's nice. It's how you get time together, you know? Dashboard time at your wedding. You know, I'm sure you guys talk, and that'll be a cute story you bring up. We spent all those times door dashing together. We really got to know each other, you know, the priest, when he's given the homily, he'll probably stick on that one, you know? That's a nice.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Nice, innocent way of doing it. Okay, well, look, I think you're on the right track here. If you want to get the invite to go use the. What's his first name?

[A]

Mister.

[C]

His first name.

[A]

I don't want to know his first name. Mr. Stepanski.

[B]

If you want to get in Mister's good graces, you show up to the lake house with a about 26 gallons of gas pre filled. And you just drop it down there. And you said, I bet you need this for the summer.

[A]

Yeah, drop it down and just go, where's my room at?

[C]

Okay. So like a combo of like helping them out with the gas, but then still trying to be like, yeah, big.

[A]

Big dick a little bit.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[A]

I feel like Mr. Only Respect Big dicking.

[B]

What does your girlfriend say? Does she?

[A]

Yeah, we see. What is she adding?

[B]

This.

[A]

She should be vouching for you with the dad.

[C]

So she like, will try to be like, hey, whenever you guys are doing this stuff, like invite Carter. But it's like she lives down here with me now in Youngstown. Or she's like from the Cleveland area in Ohio, so she doesn't get to go with them as much anymore either. So it's kind of hard. We're both like stuck.

[A]

Yeah, you don't come around. What's he.

[B]

Yeah, you're good.

[A]

Yeah, you put a ring on it. The mood will change.

[C]

I'm thinking that might be the. Maybe the hold up here. So we'll see.

[B]

You'd wanna. Are there brothers?

[C]

She's got two brothers? Yes.

[B]

And so you want to go with the two sisters, the dad and the two brothers? You want to go up there with the three of them?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, you seem committed to the family. All right, well, you know what? You put a ring on it. I think that's what's missing here. In my family, we got a family vacation we go on every year. The rule is you got to be engaged to bring your significant other. That's the rule that you know. And are they religious? Are they Catholic, something like that?

[C]

They are Catholic.

[B]

We should have asked this earlier. Yeah, you're catholic. You're not going on vacation until you put a ring on it. Okay? You're living in sin.

[A]

One, it's living in sin, and two, they're not gonna spend extra money if you're not committed. You know, you can be cheap too, right?

[B]

Exactly. Are you going to church?

[C]

I don't as much anymore. She then. That's part of the issue with the engagement stuff. If she's Catholic, I'm not. So it's like that wedding, you know, how are we gonna do that?

[B]

Well, what flavor are you?

[C]

I always grew up going to like non denominational kind of churches, sneakers and.

[A]

Hoodies type of guy.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Well, you're gonna have to bite the bullet. It go through the full ceremony.

[A]

The only. The only. Never mind.

[B]

Go ahead. No, I want to hear this. Miles, piss off our non denom fan base. Let's see it. You're good. Look. Oh, you're going to say a Catholic joke, weren't you?

[A]

No. Yeah, just.

[B]

We'll move forward there. She's going to the. The mom is going to want you to get married in a church. You're going to. If you fight it, it's just going to set you up for at least three years of trying to dig yourself out of that hole. What's the difference? Go through with it and, you know, five years later you'll be divorced anyway, so. We appreciate you. No, I'm just kidding. I'm King Cutter. Listen, we're gonna let you go, but I'm feeling good about your situation here. Just put a ring on it and that'll make it all kind of better.

[C]

Okay. Well, I appreciate you guys input and your advice with the, you know, the big dick and the mustache and bringing the gasoline in the ring, so. Well, thank you, fellas.

[B]

You bet. You bet. All right, we'll see you soon.

[A]

Oh, hey.

[B]

Are you proud of me? What? I didn't say. Oh, your brains aren't fully developed yet. Don't do it.

[A]

No, that was great. That was great.

[B]

See, I've grown.

[A]

I'm proud of you, Charlie. And were you proud of me? I had a very inappropriate joke that I held my tongue on.

[B]

I kind of wanted to hear it, though. Maybe we should go back to our old ways, huh?

[A]

It's just weird. I like it.

[B]

Yeah, it's like. It's like we're. We've gone corporate, you know, or something, but we haven't. We're just trying to be better people and.

[A]

Should we take another caller?

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

All right, guys.

[B]

Charlie, Miles.

[A]

Who do we got in the bar with us today?

[B]

Russell. Nick. What is up, guys? Makes me feel you like a brighter day.

[A]

I thought you're going to say make you feel some type of way.

[B]

Oh, damn. That would. Yeah, I think we got a hit on our hands right there.

[D]

I. I agree. I think that's our new theme song. Are you cool with, like, letting me do that? Can I get the IP for it to. To potentially use that for our commercials going forward?

[B]

I'm going to need to talk to an IP attorney. Yeah.

[A]

And you really.

[D]

Or Also, can we just sign something on this, this napkin right here?

[B]

Napkin? Yeah, sure. Let's do it.

[A]

See if that holds up.

[B]

Yeah, that might hold up in the court of laws.

[A]

You actually could probably make more money if you sign that. He does the your uses your IP and then you sue him later. Probably make more money on the lawsuit than he could off of him. Off of the, you know, ip.

[B]

Really? Because he's coercing me into signing under the influence of alcohol.

[A]

You have a good.

[B]

And we have all the proof right here. Get me a pen.

[D]

And if I draft it and it's ambiguous, it's. It's what they call construed against the drafter. So you could. You've got. I think Miles is right. You got a whole bunch of ways to just get a lot of money out of me from it.

[B]

Wait, I'm saying. So. So if you write something, basically you.

[A]

Should get taken advantage of and then you'll make more money later.

[B]

That's not true, though. It's just. It's just, it's only if the person taking advantage of you has. Has less money than you, you know, because, like, you know, when we sign those terms of whatever the hell every time you put a new app on.

[D]

Yeah, the terms and conditions and all that stuff.

[A]

Yeah, that's.

[B]

That's exactly what you just said. What's it called?

[D]

Well, construed against the drafter. Yeah, yeah, but I was just saying if it was something here that was. It was like, like basically three sentences and it doesn't cover everything. That's a whole new segment that's ambiguous and it's trying against me, the drafter. So, you know, there's things that weren't covered.

[A]

Understand?

[D]

Including that whatever for this usage or that. And then now you want money because I used it for whatever else.

[B]

Oh, okay, so you didn't put enough words on this. Right. Napkin. That's why, that's why those things are like a mile freaking long.

[D]

But what you'll see too, in some of the contracts. Now, this is like nerd contract talk, but basically, see, it'll say in there like, this is not to be construed against the drafters. One of the agreements of contracts. Now, you often see that because in this one, if we just did like three sentences. Now I'm going to include that actually if we do it because.

[B]

Four sentences.

[D]

Four sentences.

[B]

Miles, this is interesting and we can't help it that you don't have the attention span for the legal world.

[A]

No, I was saying it's a great New segment, Charlie trying to understand legal jargon. See Charlie's Brain, a three hour long podcast.

[B]

Oh, yeah, that would be. That would be great actually, because I just represent, you know, the average dog out there who doesn't quite.

[A]

That actually breeds to the question I'm gonna ask you reads.

[B]

I like the play on words there, Miles. I saw that.

[A]

How legal are bar napkin agreements in the legal world?

[D]

I think they could, because the one thing with a lot of different contracts is they need to be in writing. So if you have this, it's in writing and it's signed, I don't see why it's not legal. Now if you look at, you know, like he was saying influence of alcohol or under the influence of alcohol, or as I said, the ambiguities construed against the drafter, there are some problems with it. But could it be upheld? Yeah, I mean, it's the biggest thing. You also, in a contract, you have to have consideration, so there's got to be something in return.

[B]

So like.

[D]

But in what we're talking about, there would be, you know.

[B]

Yeah, you could do all your deals.

[D]

On napkins if you wanted to.

[A]

I mean, I mean, that's how I want to do deals from now on.

[B]

Just, just, you know, it's.

[A]

Mail them a napkin.

[B]

Honestly, it seems way more legit than the docu sign where you just click, click, click, finish. Done.

[A]

Yeah. They're like, do you want to adopt a signature? Like, sure. It's different font than the last one I did.

[B]

You know, know, let's get fun with it. And they're like, yeah, you know, I try doing one with it, you know, on word, how you can do symbols, but apparently that don't work. But if you do it. One time I drew a smiley face as my signature and worked. It went through. You know, you tested it? I tested it. It worked. I mean, these, these people don't care, Miles.

[D]

And that's why if you did in a bar napkin and I saw a smiley face, I'd say, no, no.

[A]

Well, and then you also will have your like, greasy thumbprint on the napkin as well. That's actually how you should be signing stuff.

[D]

Little leftover cheese curd.

[A]

Just dip your finger in some artichoke dip and then just stamp it on the.

[B]

On the napkin. That's blood.

[A]

Okay, you want to do blood?

[B]

I want to do blood. Let's use your palm, guy. I got the knife, you got the palm.

[A]

Well, I think, I think it's.

[B]

We use our own blood and we unite our blood.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

With A handshake.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And hopefully you don't get any weird blood diseases, but if you do, you're my blood brother.

[A]

Could I sue Charlie for giving me a blood disease off of a handshake?

[D]

I think if potentially. If he knew he had a blood disease and he didn't warn you like that.

[B]

I don't know. I have a hepatitis.

[D]

Okay, well, then, all right, if he doesn't know. But we could look through his medical records. I suppose we sued him and then find out that he knew.

[A]

I like how he's on my side. Turns out, Charlie, he's my lawyer, not yours.

[B]

All right, I see how it is, Russell.

[D]

I'm sorry, Charlie.

[B]

You know, I want to say, between the two of us, I put more effort into the ad reads, okay? So you should be on my side.

[A]

Okay? Okay. That's not true.

[B]

My. My ad reads are poetry, okay? Miles just comes from, you know, off the top of his head, off the top of the dome, Charlie.

[A]

So, like, we. We have, like, a. Hey, we should talk about this. In this ad read, and Charlie hears the first three words of it and just starts and doesn't listen to the rest of the.

[B]

That's because I just want to go, baby, I don't need more than one word to be.

[A]

And then I have to spend the entire ad read.

[B]

You know why?

[A]

Getting. Getting him to the spot. That was the original prize, Miles.

[B]

You know why?

[A]

Mine's an art form. Yours is a scatterbrained mess.

[B]

No, this is the rodeo, baby, and I'm the bull. And I. I'm just sitting there waiting to come out the gate. I got a. A wrap around my balls, you know, and I'm just waiting for it to be released, and I can go buck, you know?

[A]

Yeah, like. Like we did the one yesterday. It was about Labor Day. You know, there's gonna be a lot of accidents on Labor Day.

[B]

Oh, and where'd we go with it?

[A]

And Charlie. And Charlie, in his mind, was, like. Just heard the word labor, and he just started talking about something else.

[B]

I was talking about Burke birth and mother's giving birth on Labor Day. I mean, how about that?

[D]

I don't know. Is that. I don't think that's what Labor Day is about, but.

[A]

Yeah, but imagine if you gave birth on Labor Day. You're double. You're laboring on Labor Day, which is the opposite of what you're supposed to be doing. It should be called, not Labor Day.

[B]

That's true.

[D]

I would say, though, that Charlie does occasionally use his musical skills to sing.

[B]

Some of our things. So, like.

[A]

I'll sing all day.

[B]

You make me.

[A]

I know you seem all impressed, but he spent twelve hundred bucks on singing lessons and he still sounds like that, so.

[B]

Oh, not 1200 miles. Over the course of my life. A lot of pretzel money went to.

[A]

Some singing lessons, and that's what he sounds like.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

It's a thought that counts.

[B]

It is.

[A]

Yeah. Well, we appreciate you coming into the bar and bellying up with us and.

[B]

Learning a lot of legal situations. Now, if people do screw the pooch, go ass over tea cal. Sorry, Miles, I stepped on you. No, you were ready to wrap this.

[A]

No, that was me. State here.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You were wrapping it up.

[B]

Yeah, people go ass over tea kettle and maybe get a chestnut bacon wrapped chestnut up their bum. Who do they call?

[D]

I. I don't. I mean.

[A]

Someone even considered that an.

[D]

Injury in injuries that make sense that might be through the negligence. I don't know how that would happen. That sounds like an intentional act of somebody.

[A]

It was pretty negligent.

[B]

No, if you trip and fall and you get the skewer. Okay. On your bum.

[D]

Okay, well, if you can just reach out to nicolaya.com.

[A]

But if.

[D]

If that's what happened, you know, we'll have to get some more information to make sure that we can help you on that because I don't know, know all the facts.

[B]

So don't just call the chit chat. Call with a legit claim.

[D]

Even though we, you know, we have like, some very good intake people and they are good listeners and chit chatters.

[B]

So I'd like to do that job.

[D]

I think you should. Yeah, we should bring you on intake. Why we should do that? I think you'd like my intake team. And you would. You.

[B]

You'd love it.

[D]

And you could sing some intake if you wanted.

[B]

I'm a big intaker, man.

[D]

I think you are.

[B]

I am.

[A]

I've seen it.

[B]

Yeah, you have. Every. Every day on this podcast. I'm taking it in from you, Mahal. It's your. The words coming out of your mouth. Don't. Don't get weird with it. Don't grow up. The maturity. When was the last time you been to confession? All right, Russell. It's been a.

[A]

See what happens. He attacks me.

[B]

Sorry for Miles's immaturity. Thank you, sir. Don't touch his hand. Joe, how you doing, man? Doing pretty good. Pretty good. Hey, we hear your Amish.

[E]

No.

[B]

Oh, I'm not. Okay. No, wait, wait, wait. We hear you're a Canadian Mennonite and You keep getting confused for being Amish. Is that true?

[C]

That's. That's it.

[E]

There you go.

[A]

So what's going on with the Amish and the Mennonite? I don't. What is. What is. What is that?

[B]

I thought it was same horse, different buggy.

[E]

Yeah, see, that's the issue. That's the issue I'm having. So I'm Mennonite, not Amish. My parents are born in Mexico. They're kind of like. And, like, my ancestors are all, like, immigrants, and they moved around a lot from all over the place. So I don't really know where the name Mennonites came from, but whenever anybody hears the name, the word Mennonite, they assume Amish.

[B]

I'm gonna be honest with you, Joe. I'm in that. I'm in that category. So can you explain to us what's the difference between Mennonite, Amish?

[E]

Everything.

[B]

Everything. Well, that was really helpful, Joe. You know what? Problem solved. Close the good books. So do you make furniture?

[A]

Can you elaborate for us?

[E]

So I'm dating my girlfriend, and whenever she introduces me to her, any of her family, she always has to bring up, oh, yeah, he's Mennonite. And then they all think I'm Amish. Then they make all these Amish jokes, and I'm like, well, none of these are true. Introduced me, and they're like, so do you have electricity in your house? Do you ride a horse and buggy? I'm like, no, actually, I have a truck in a car, and I can watch TV whenever I want.

[A]

So is that the biggest difference is you guys use technology and they don't or.

[E]

Well, I don't know. It's. It's kind of just. The Mennonite is just like a religion, I guess.

[B]

What religion are the Amish?

[E]

I couldn't tell you. I don't know anything about the Amish.

[B]

Well, this is your problem, Joe. Okay? Like, you've got a. I hate to say it, but, you know, you're going to kind of have to inform people if you want these stereotypes to go away. You got a big opportunity here to educate the Midwest on the difference between Mennonite and Amish, because, let's face it, we're all too lazy to look it up. But now we're going to have to.

[E]

I think I'm going to have to find myself an Amish friend.

[B]

All right, well, that's a better way than looking it up. All right, so Amish are horse and buggy, plow and hoe, plow, woodwork and Carpentry. Okay. And Mennonites are truck and telly, and it's just a religion. So is it Mennonites? Christian?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. Is it like Lutheran?

[E]

I'm not sure what that is.

[B]

You don't know what Lutheran is? I hate to say it, Joe. I think you're Amish. Okay. I can see why people are getting this. Well, all right. What. What takeaway do you want people to. To have here?

[E]

I don't know. I just see myself as a regular guy I'm with. I'm. I'm the same as everyone else.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, you don't want those labels, you know?

[B]

No.

[A]

Would you. Would you like it if you were just getting introduces? Hey, this is my buddy Charlie. He's Catholic, so.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Would you like that, Charlie?

[B]

Oh, no, we got old, you know, spray and pray Charlie over there.

[A]

People will be like, oh, so you're like Lutheran? And then wouldn't that drive you up?

[B]

I don't know what a Lutheran is. And I'd just be yelling at him. Yeah, it would tick me off. Well, give us a special fact about Mennonites. We want to learn more about the Mennonite, the men in the Mennonite in our lives.

[E]

Like my kind of Mennonites, I guess, whatever you want to call them. So it's from Mexico. Like they're like, not Mexican speaking Mexicans or Spanish speaking Mexicans. We all speak German, but it's like Low German, kind of like a language that we invented, I guess.

[A]

So Mennonites are Mexican people who speak German?

[E]

Basically, yeah.

[A]

That's kind of wild. Did you hear that or no?

[B]

Yeah, they were delivering fish fries, as you said that. Do you.

[A]

You.

[B]

Do you Germans like fish fries?

[E]

Actually, that's a pretty common thing with us.

[B]

Yeah, see, we're already bridging cultural gaps. Mennonites from Mexico like fish fries. See, that's a fact. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's maple syrup.

[B]

Okay, what rules do you have? What's the strictest rule in the Mennonite faith?

[E]

I don't know. Basically any of the Bible rules, I guess.

[A]

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Okay, nice. You don't go to church a lot, do you?

[E]

No.

[A]

You're probably what we would say, a non practicing Mennonite. Is that accurate?

[B]

You're a Christer is what you are. Christmas and Easter, you'll put on the blue bonnet and you'll go over to the Mennonite church.

[E]

No, those are the days I don't go.

[C]

You don't actually.

[E]

Those. Because then that's when all the other stuff Goes on.

[A]

Oh, yeah. When was the last time you went to church?

[E]

Probably six months ago.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right.

[E]

Hey, to be fair, I just bought a house and I'm really busy.

[B]

You just bought a house and you're really busy? Yeah.

[A]

I'm sure the Lord will take that as an excuse.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. You're too busy for the Lord?

[B]

I mean, what do you do for fun?

[E]

I do like woodworking.

[B]

Oh, you do woodworking?

[A]

Don't tell other people.

[B]

Not helping your cause, not working in your.

[A]

It's like. I like working on the farm, you know, I like sewing my own clothes.

[E]

No, we sold the farm.

[B]

Oh, you sold the farm?

[E]

Yeah, I like riding quads and dirt bikes and stuff.

[A]

What are you. What are you doing? What's going on over there, Joe? What are you up to?

[E]

What are you doing? I'm at work. I'm at work right now.

[B]

Where do you work?

[E]

Concrete precast company.

[A]

Oh, precasters, huh? I haven't decided on whether or not that is less than regular concrete, the same as regular concrete, or harder. I. I doubt it's harder than regular concrete work because you're in a warehouse, aren't you?

[E]

Well, I work on site. Like we build, like the high rise building.

[A]

Oh, okay, you're putting up braces and, and dealing with cranes.

[E]

Yeah, a little bit.

[A]

I'm more.

[E]

I run like a deficiency crew. So after the building's all done, I go and fix whatever they up.

[A]

Okay. Like that. So what is the biggest up in the precast industry?

[E]

Probably this job that I'm on right now.

[A]

Yeah, but what happens?

[E]

Well, this one, a wall fell off an eight story building.

[B]

A wall fell off an eight story building?

[E]

A concrete wall? Yep.

[B]

Damn, that's a big fuck up right there. Were they wearing helmets? Because, you know, if you. That's why they say hard hat. You don't.

[A]

Yeah, hard hats really gonna protect you from an eight foot concrete wall chart.

[B]

Well, it can't hurt.

[A]

That's really important.

[B]

It can't hurt hurt. It can hurt. Gives you a fighting chance. What's that, Joe?

[C]

It was a 12 foot wall.

[E]

12 foot tall by 8 foot wide.

[B]

12 foot by 8 foot fell 8 stories. Listen to the details. Yeah.

[A]

You ever squished a mosquito on your hand?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's what you would be like, hard hat or not.

[B]

Oh, no, that's not true. I. Have you seen Looney Tunes? I would just be pushed into the ground a little bit, but my head would be protected.

[A]

Yeah, you're right.

[E]

It fell on the neighbor's Yard and crushed the greenhouse.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

There goes that pot. Well, listen, Joe, we are glad that you're out there evangelizing the differences between Mennonite and the Amish. I'm still not sure the difference, but, you know, maybe you can do a little research and then call us back and let us know the differences.

[E]

All right, I'll do that.

[B]

All right.

[A]

All right. Charlie, we got a voicemail here. Jared's got it queued up. Let's hear it.

[C]

Hey, my name's Shay, I am 25 and I need some advice. So I'm gonna be going to a wedding in Wisconsin. My in laws and I'm a vegetarian.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

So I need some help. What do I do? What are they gonna ask? How do I deal with like all the razzing and all that kind of stuff? Because I know it's coming. Please help. Thanks. Bye.

[B]

First piece of advice, don't tell anyone you are not a vegetarian. You just have a stomach bug.

[A]

Yeah. Or it's just like, you know, I'm just not that hungry. I think I'll just have a salad, you know?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'll just. Side salad and. Oh God, that made me really full. What a huge side salad.

[B]

That was my brother in law, Gabe, he's a vegetarian and God bless him, we all love him. But every time my dad sees him, he's like, oh, Gabe, I just got some venison in the basement for you. You know, every time there's something, I.

[A]

Think also an important thing is cheese is veg. You can eat cheese with veg. As a vegetarian.

[B]

No, Miles, you can't.

[A]

But that's vegan. I thought that ways you can't eat cheese.

[B]

Vegan is nothing with a mother. So they don't eat plants or.

[A]

I know, but I thought it was vegetarian. You just don't eat meat.

[B]

Yeah. You don't eat. Well, there's different levels of it, you know. Is that true? Is that true? She's like mennonite versus foreseen.

[A]

That question.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know. Pescatarian's a person who only eats pets.

[A]

For the sake of the conversation, we're gonna assume vegans don't eat anything and vegetarians eat some stuff. Just not meat.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

So what you need to do is you need to find common ground with the Wisconsinites. You know, don't steer them in the direction of. I don't eat meat. Steer them in the directions of. I do eat cheese curds.

[B]

There you go. I love cheese curds. Yeah, Stick on the stuff.

[A]

You love distract them the fact that you haven't touched your roast beef and instead get them being like, oh, God, these cheese curds are just great. And then be like, oh, I got too full of cheese curds. I gotta finish my roast beef.

[B]

And then hit them with, you want some? You know, so you share.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then I say, I'll split this with you, and then keep splitting it with people until there's just one lowly bite of that pork chop left and that you can give to the dog.

[A]

And the thing that I know about weddings is they never give you enough food. So there's always people kind of if someone doesn't finish their whole meal, I don't know if you've done this, but I'm looking around other plates being like, God, you think it would be weird if I asked them if I could finish their stuff?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And there's gonna be people like that. So if you're not gonna eat the roast beef, say, you got too full on cheese curds. Find the person that's most likely to make fun of you and be like, I filled up on cheese curds. I am gonna have diarrhea later. I can't eat this roast beef. Do you want to eat it? And then they'll be like, now you're on their side because you gave them their meal, and then now they'll leave you alone.

[B]

And everyone in Wisconsin has overloaded on cheese curds before, so they feel your pain. They're gonna offer you some advice on how to handle that. You know, you go get yourself a little Imodium, and you'll clear that right out. So, yeah, I think that's. That's some good advice. You can also just remember that there's no meat in alcohol, so that's another common ground.

[A]

I don't know. Once in a while, I call a beer a pork chop, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

For a couple pork chops. Do you know, I feel like it maybe have.

[B]

Have. That's a good thing to start.

[A]

I like that. Also, pork chop's a great nickname for your guy. Your buddy who's just a little overweight.

[B]

Old pork chop just walked in.

[A]

We're just not calling people pork chop enough anymore. I feel like late 90s, early 2000s, Pork Chop was getting thrown around, and we've kind of lost the art of the pork chop. And I think we'd like to bring it back.

[B]

I would like to bring that back. Oh, pork chop and chicken wing for your fellows. A little under, underneath the weight limit, you know, Chicken wing and Pork Chop walked in. That's great. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, well. Is that it, Jared? Well, guys, thanks for tuning in to another episode of the Bellied up podcast, live from Burnsies here in West Dallas. Charlie, it was a good one.

[B]

Great one, man.

[A]

And remember, always. What?

[B]

Tip your bartender.

[A]

We'll see you in the next one.

[E]

Okay?

[C]

Hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye now.

[B]

Toodaloo.