Bellied Up Podcast

Episode #167: "Surviving Wisconsin as a Vegetarian"

Date: September 11, 2025
Hosts: Charlie Berens (B), Myles the You Betcha Guy (A)
Setting: Burnsy's Bar and Grill, West Allis, Wisconsin

Episode Overview

This episode of Bellied Up finds Charlie Berens and Myles the You Betcha Guy holding court at a classic Wisconsin bar, dishing out their signature Midwest humor and heartfelt advice. As always, they take live calls from listeners, ranging from relationship quandaries to existential dilemmas about cheese curds. The central theme? Navigating life’s weird spots as a Midwesterner—highlighted by the episode’s titular dilemma: how to survive a Wisconsin wedding as a vegetarian.

Key Discussion Points & Callers

1. Bar Banter, Midwestern Dining, and Technology Gripes

[00:00–10:47]

• The hosts riff on Burnsy's bar atmosphere, local sports decor, and the joys of Wisconsin bar food (notably the homemade artichoke dip).
• Anecdote: Charlie ditches Myles at dinner, triggering Myles's walk home in work boots.
  • "Those boots weren't made for walking. They're made for work. Short bursts of walking, you know, standing, mostly." – Myles ([03:23])
• Discussion on managing busy lives, ignoring notifications, and the perils of always being online.
  • "I respond to emails once every two weeks or if I'm flying." – Charlie ([06:33])
  • "We peaked as a society in the mid-90s as far as communication goes." – Charlie ([07:57])
• Brief sidebar reacting in real-time to news of Taylor Swift’s engagement.

2. Caller #1: Carter – "How Do I Get in With My Girlfriend’s Outdoorsy Dad?"

[12:33–34:16]

• Carter calls with a Midwest classic: he’s been dating his girlfriend for three years, but her dad (“Mr. Stepanic”) won’t invite him to join in on the family’s outdoor fun.
• The hosts analyze why Carter’s not fully in the fold:
  • Living with his girlfriend pre-engagement may be an obstacle:
    • "You guys are living in sin." – Charlie ([15:00])
    • "Why buy the kayak if you can paddle it for free?" – Charlie ([15:06])
  • Carter's mustache style and career selling youth hockey tickets become topics. Charlie recommends a “just-for-men” mustache and bonding over brute cologne:
    • "He doesn't respect you, then. You got to go full stash. He's a fireman." – Myles ([21:23])
• Extended riffing on Midwestern engagement customs, Catholic wedding expectations, and navigating family dynamics:
  • "In my family, you got to be engaged to bring your significant other on vacation." – Charlie ([32:09])
• Advice: Show initiative ("big dick energy") and consider showing up with a generous gesture (e.g., bringing gas for the boat).
• Memorable moment:
  • "The only way to get the invite is to show up to the lake house with about 26 gallons of gas pre-filled." – Charlie ([30:36])
• Closing guidance: Wait until she graduates, get engaged, and the invites will follow.

3. Caller #2: Russell/Nick (Legal Advice & The Power of a Napkin Contract)

[34:55–44:48]

• Russell, an attorney, drops legal wisdom on the enforceability of bar napkin contracts:
  • "If you have this, it's in writing and it's signed, I don't see why it's not legal." – Russell ([38:16])
  • "One thing with a lot of different contracts is they need to be in writing...but could it be upheld? Yeah." – Russell ([38:44])
• Hilarious scenarios around signing with food stains or blood, napkin deals, and who profits more from a lawsuit on improbable napkin agreements.
• Side banter: Charlie and Myles debate ad-read techniques and the artistry (or chaos) behind them:
  • "Mine's an art form. Yours is a scatterbrained mess." – Myles ([41:31])
  • "This is the rodeo, baby, and I'm the bull." – Charlie ([41:34])

4. Caller #3: Joe – "I’m a Canadian Mennonite, Not Amish!"

[44:49–53:33]

• Joe shares the frustration of constantly being mistaken for Amish due to his Mennonite background.
• Hosts challenge him to educate the masses:
  • "I'm gonna be honest with you, Joe. I'm in that category. So can you explain to us: what's the difference between Mennonite [and] Amish?" – Charlie ([45:51])
• Joe explains Mennonite customs, language (Low German from Mexico), and love of woodworking:
  • "So Mennonites are Mexican people who speak German?" – Myles ([49:06])
• Anecdote: Joe’s team recently lost a 12'x8' concrete wall off an 8-story building, crushing a neighbor's greenhouse:
  • "A wall fell off an eight-story building?" – Charlie ([52:09])

5. Voicemail: Shay – "Surviving a Wisconsin Wedding as a Vegetarian"

[53:36–58:15]

• Shay, a vegetarian, dreads being the odd one out at a Wisconsin wedding.
• Advice from the hosts:
  • Downplay vegetarianism, don’t broadcast—just blame a “stomach bug” or say you’re not hungry.
    • "Don't tell anyone. You are not a vegetarian. You just have a stomach bug." – Charlie ([54:11])
  • Emphasize common ground with cheese curds and offer up untouched meat dishes to hungry guests.
    • "Distract them from the fact that you haven't touched your roast beef and instead get them being like, 'Oh, God, these cheese curds are just great.'" – Myles ([55:43])
    • "Share it around, split it, and just leave one bite of that pork chop for the dog." – Charlie ([56:03])
• Additional joke about how everyone in Wisconsin has cheese curd “overload” stories.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "We peaked as a society in, like, maybe the mid-90s as far as communication goes."
  — Charlie ([07:57])

• "In my family, the rule is you got to be engaged to bring your significant other [on vacation]."
  — Charlie ([32:09])

• "He doesn't respect you, then. You got to go full stash. He's a fireman. You got to meet him on his ground."
  — Myles ([21:23])

• "Pescatarian's a person who only eats pets."
  — Charlie ([55:13]) (in jest)

• "Distract them from the fact that you haven't touched your roast beef and instead get them being like, 'Oh, God, these cheese curds are just great.'"
  — Myles ([55:43])

Important Timestamps

• 00:00–10:47 — Opening Bar Banter, Dinner Drama
• 12:33–34:16 — Caller Carter: Outdoorsy Dad Challenge
• 34:55–44:48 — Russell/Nick: Napkin Contracts & Legal Laughs
• 44:49–53:33 — Joe: Mennonite vs. Amish, Concrete Catastrophe
• 53:36–58:15 — Voicemail: Shay’s Wisconsin Vegetarian Dilemma

Podcast Tone

Laid-back, irreverent, classic Midwestern humor and warmth. The show is a blend of earnest advice and tongue-in-cheek commentary; Myles and Charlie trade friendly jabs and give their audience permission to take life lightly while also cherishing community quirks.

Summary

This episode is a quintessential slice of the Midwest, filled with relatable stories about awkward relationships, peculiar local customs, and the universal struggle of standing out (whether as a vegetarian or a misunderstood Mennonite). The advice—both earnest and absurd—is always rooted in genuine care and Midwestern practicality. From sneakily surviving a meat-centric wedding to landing your girlfriend’s father’s respect, the strategies are simple: blend in with cheese curds, out-mustache your rivals, and never underestimate the power of a napkin... or a belly laugh.