The Most Dysfunctional Family We've Ever Seen #177

Summary

Bellied Up Podcast Ep. 177: "The Most Dysfunctional Family We've Ever Seen"

Hosts: Myles "You Betcha Guy" & Charlie Berens
Date: November 26, 2025

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Overview

This episode kicks off with lighthearted banter about Thanksgiving, seasonal changes in the Midwest, and childhood insecurities, before diving into one of the wildest listener calls in recent memory—a saga of relationship dysfunction, family chaos, and more cheating scandals than a season of Jerry Springer. The callers and hosts riff with their signature blend of dry wit and Midwest charm, tackling not just the listener’s problems but also pet peeves, “heaven or hell” hypotheticals, and the deep mysteries of fashion crimes like flip flops with jeans.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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Midwest Fall & Childhood Insecurities

[00:00–06:14]

• Myles and Charlie banter about Midwest fall: all colors gone, everything’s “deer colored.”
• The origins of "fall" and "spring" are discussed, with some creative (and ribald) theorizing.
• They reflect on their childhood insecurities:
  • Myles wanted to play QB but was “chunkier and slower”:
    “You gotta have wheels to play quarterback... I was always the first loser, got 2nd in Taekwondo every time.” — Myles [03:33]
  • Charlie shares his recurring feeling of just missing greatness, as summed up by a teacher:
    “You’re always on the edge of greatness, aren’t you?” — Ms. Steinberg, via Charlie [04:39]

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Inside Jokes & Family Stories

[06:14–16:20]

• They discuss a recent social media “rap beef” that fizzled before it started, with good-natured ribbing.
• Charlie tells stories of his Grandma Sue—88 years old, a gambling Hallmark movie fan, Catholic, and a lover of road trips to the casino.
  • Anecdotes about buying “apparition dirt” at a shrine and repeatedly getting pulled over for expired registration.
  • “Forget about paying your car registration. We got pulled over on the way back from the casino because my grandma didn’t pay her car registration. I’ve gotten pulled over with my grandma, like, three times.” — Charlie [11:00]
• Transition to Myles's Aunt Mary and the challenges of older dating, mentioning the “Golden Bachelor,” downsizing houses, and suburban tailgating.

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Thanksgiving Food & Last Meal Fantasies

[16:21–20:34]

• They debate the worst Thanksgiving dishes (green bean casserole gets shade).
• Absurdist conversation about choosing Thanksgiving dinner as a “last meal,” whether in prison or at a nursing home.
• Myles is “analytics guy”:
  • “I’m probably gonna die of either a stroke, cancer, or heart attack… If you’re really playing the numbers.” — Myles [22:04]
• Charlie considers wandering into the woods “dressed as a deer” as a poetic end:
  • “I think I’m gonna go off like a wounded deer and just find a tree and lay down for a little bit.” — Charlie [19:16]
• Heaven, hell, and purgatory tailgating are discussed.
  • “We’re gonna be tailgating heaven.” — Charlie [25:22]

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Main Caller Segment: “The Most Dysfunctional Family”

[28:28–76:04]

(Brady from Florida/Michigan)

Heaven, Hell, or Tailgate (Purgatory)?

• Brady self-selects “tailgating at heaven”—the purgatory middle ground [28:51].

The Bacon, the Lies, and the Rings

• Confesses to stealing bacon from his grandpa as a kid [29:29], then “bad boyfriend” behavior:
  • Lied about buying an engagement ring, used his sister's wife’s ring, staged a fake proposal, got caught after 15 minutes [31:15-32:23].
  • Relationship spans 8-9 years, broken up and reconciled multiple times, with long distance, cheating, and a second legitimate ring bought (and returned).
  • "So you just keep getting under the hood?" — Charlie [37:04]
  • "This relationship’s been totaled twice, though, to be quite honest with you.” — Charlie [36:55]

Family Dynamics: Four Divorces, Choir Affairs, and Crap Hits the Fan

• Brady’s parents: married and divorced four times—to each other!
  • Cheating, drama, and a wild revelation that "on a high school choir trip, my dad ended up sleeping with my choir director" [39:38].
  • Choir director later also sleeps with Brady—making him and his dad “Eskimo brothers.”
  • "Unfortunately, you hit up your choir… When did you sleep with your ex choir director?” — Charlie [43:19]
  • This is all casually confirmed, with the host incredulous at the “love octagon.”

Retaliation Cheating, Disney Drama, and Financial Mayhem

• Cycle of infidelity with his girlfriend:
  • Both cheat in retaliation; she buys a house with another guy (Chase) while Brady is still financially supporting her.
  • "You realize you're not in a relationship. She is just your sugar baby, and you are her sugar daddy.” — Myles [64:44]
  • Over $200,000 given to his girlfriend over 9 years—just this February, he sent $6,000 [65:35].

Advice from the Hosts

• Myles and Charlie employ every analogy in the book, from totaled cars to Jenga towers, to persuade Brady to cut the financial cord.
  • "Don’t break up with her. Just stop giving her money starting today and call us back when the relationship’s over." — Charlie [64:08]
  • They encourage him to regain his confidence:
    “You were able to buy one engagement ring, you also had sexual intercourse with your choir director, and she was hot… You got game.” — Charlie [72:48]
• Brady agrees (tentatively) to stop the payments and promises to call back with an update.

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Mini-Caller: Flip Flops & Blue Jeans Fashion Debate

[78:45–84:32]

• Jordan from Texas wants Midwestern perspective on men wearing flip flops with blue jeans, calling it “the dumbest shit in the world.”
• Consensus: It was a 2000s thing, maybe only forgivable at beachy venues.
  • "For me, it was if I'm on a tropical vacation or somewhere warm, but you're going out to dinner..." — Myles [80:19]
• They debate which fashion crimes are worse and reflect (with some Boomer energy) on the cyclical nature of trends (baggy jeans, Crocs, etc.).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Family Dysfunction:
  “When we asked for hometown drama, I could have never imagined a love triangle. You’re like, in a love octagon right now...” — Myles [43:06]

• On Retaliation Cheating:
  “Monkey see, monkey do, right?” — Brady [53:14]

• On Bucket Lists:
  “Charlie was asking me about my bucket list earlier, that's one thing I haven’t knocked off that list—choir director.” — Myles [45:09]

• On Self-Awareness:
  "You realize you’re not in a relationship. She is just your sugar baby, and you are her sugar daddy.” — Myles [64:44]

• On Fashion Crimes:
  “Flip flop might be the worst shoe to put a bottle opener... just no leverage.” — Charlie [79:47]

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Timestamps to Key Segments

• Midwest Fall / Banter: [00:00–06:14]
• Grandma Sue & Family Road Trips: [07:45–13:49]
• Thanksgiving & Last Meals: [16:21–20:34]
• Heaven, Hell & Tailgating: [23:43–26:31]
• Main Caller, Dysfunctional Family: [28:28–76:04]
• Fashion Debate (Flip Flops & Jeans): [78:45–84:32]

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Tone & Style

The episode carries its signature Midwest blend of gentle roasting, dry irony, and ironic self-help. Both hosts toggle easily between supportive advice and relentless ribbing, with Brady’s saga providing a jaw-dropping peek at modern relationship chaos that’s both tragic and, through the duo’s lens, unavoidably comedic.

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Summary Verdict

This episode is a must-listen for fans of chaotic life stories, bone-dry Midwestern humor, and emotional trainwrecks. Whether it’s tales of gambling grandmas, generational family cheating, or flip flop faux pas, Charlie and Myles deliver a therapy session for all of us—one where laughter is half the cure and honest-to-God advice sneaks in behind the jokes.

Transcript

[A]

Miles, we are back. We are bold. We are brave. We are bellying up to the bar.

[B]

We are bellied up to the bar. Charlie, how you feeling?

[A]

Feeling great, Miles. Feeling great. It's. We got Thanksgiving coming up. It's a time of the year where, you know, the whole scenery just seems a little browner. You know, deer blend in more. You know, everything's just deer colored everywhere you look.

[B]

You know, most people would say colorful, and you're saying we're past that stage now.

[A]

Fall has fallen. Miles, we are just in. In the. The dregs before.

[B]

Is that for sure the reason why fall is called fall?

[A]

Yeah, because.

[B]

Because all the leaves fall.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, that's for sure. Making sure, right, Jared? Is that for sure it. Yeah, you're right.

[B]

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, that's the reason.

[A]

Pretty simple.

[B]

Same way, I suppose. Spring is because things spring out of the ground and new and new leaves spring out of the tree. Is that why it.

[A]

Kind of. But spring is when a lot of species start shaboinking again. And so I think they're talking.

[B]

You're talking about. It's more so a hip movement of springing.

[A]

Well, they called it sprung for a while, but then they had to make it more pg, Miles.

[C]

So.

[B]

So, yeah, it's because it's called spring, because you're springing your wiener into something.

[A]

I mean, I'm not. I'm not gonna speak, but like the.

[B]

Deer ruts in the fall.

[A]

I know it doesn't really make sense.

[B]

I think it's springing out of the ground.

[A]

Birds and the bees, I think, are doing it more in the spring. Okay. Yeah, that's.

[C]

That's.

[A]

I think. Yeah, I think. Although that's not totally true. There's a lot of birthing going on there. Maybe it's springing out.

[B]

So it's springing out of mammals. Vaginas.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

A lot of that going on in the spring, I think.

[A]

I guess so.

[B]

I guess Jared seems like he's got some information. The season is called spring because it comes from the old English word springing, meaning to leap or burst forth, referring to plants springing out of the ground. Oh, let's go.

[A]

Wow, dude, you had it right to begin with.

[B]

You're overthinking it.

[A]

My God.

[B]

You just tried to say.

[A]

I tried.

[B]

You just try to say that birds, dinghies are called springs.

[A]

Well, you know, some of them. Have you ever seen a duck try and mate? It's a corkscrew. Miles, what's your biggest insecurity as a child? What is it?

[B]

Probably not being good enough.

[A]

Not being good enough. Get more specific.

[B]

I remember this one time I always wanted to play quarterback, but I was a little bit chunkier, a little bit slower. And when you're in middle school, you kind of had need to have some wheels to play quarterback because you're not passing it as much.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And I remember there's many events like this, but I remember another kid got the starting quarterback job in, like, seventh grade when I thought I should have got it, and so I was insecure about that.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

When I was in Taekwondo from the ages of five to nine.

[A]

You. You were in Taekwondo?

[B]

Five to nine, Black belt.

[A]

Show me some moves, man.

[B]

Not the time. I'm talking, I'm getting in. I'm getting talking. I'm being vulnerable with.

[A]

Okay, sorry, sorry.

[B]

This isn't the time to joke around.

[A]

I didn't mean to.

[B]

I got second place in Taekwondo tournaments every time.

[A]

Really?

[B]

We're talking first loser every single time. I went to a Taekwondo competition. And then I. I only got gold. I only got first place one time.

[A]

Wow. And what was different? That time that got you the first place? Did the other guy get sick? Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Fucking dick. Yeah, no, I got that much better. You know?

[A]

Did you? And did you know.

[B]

But I think it's. I think my biggest insecurity is that I'm just, like, not good enough.

[A]

Wow. Well, that's probably what keeps you driving.

[B]

I know. And it's terrible.

[A]

It is.

[B]

I don't recommend being insecure about not being good enough to anyone out there.

[A]

Yeah. Because you're never good enough.

[B]

And it's like it's not even about what the world thinks anymore. It's like you just now have it in your own head that you expect to be a certain way, and then when you aren't, you're all insecure about it.

[A]

I had this teacher once tell me, charlie. This was after I turned in a paperweight. She said, charlie, you're always on the edge of greatness. I was like, what the. What is what?

[B]

She probably meant it as an inspirational thing, but instead it was just a fact.

[A]

She did not mean it as inspirational. This was after I was apologizing for turning my paper in late, hoping she wouldn't dock me points. And she was like, you're always on the edge of greatness, aren't you? Shout out Ms. Steinberg.

[B]

And if she would have said it like, charlie, you are on the edge of greatness. Yeah, like, that would have been inspirational. But it was not like that.

[A]

No. It was like you're. You're always just never enough.

[B]

Day late, a dollar short.

[A]

Daylight dollar short.

[B]

It's actually your middle name, isn't it? Charlie Day late, dollar short.

[A]

Parents pretty much it. Yeah. That is my middle name. Not my given middle name, but we.

[B]

Have something to address too. By the way, I just realized what, Jared, you know that Charlie hasn't watched any of our videos because he hasn't said anything yet.

[A]

Oh, what happened?

[B]

That's. That makes this so much better that he hasn't seen it. We're going to get a live reaction of a video that I posted talking about Charlie Barron's.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Last week.

[B]

Yeah, I'll show you.

[A]

Is this a truck one sold on? Yeah.

[B]

So you have seen it?

[A]

I did see it and I love to comment on it too. I love to comment. Did you read my comment?

[B]

Sharon's. And I'm. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[A]

It's great radio here.

[B]

Hold on.

[A]

It's great radio here.

[B]

Barley Cherin. And I'm not as cool as that Ford guy, so I bought a Chevy. Tell your cousins I say hi. And watch out for geese.

[A]

That was I. Now, what did I comment? I said the sirloin of the sky.

[B]

Yeah. Supposed to. We were supposed to start a rap beef. You know, start a.

[A]

You know, I took it as an honor. I thought it was fun.

[B]

I thought I. Well, people were calling for Charlie Barron's rebuttal, and we just never got Barley Cherron's rebuttal. And we never got it.

[A]

Damn. I'm sorry, dude. I saw that. I was at the casino. I saw. I was. I was there.

[B]

So if you're wondering, Charlie has way more real estate in my head than I have in Charlie's.

[A]

No, I was there. It was my grandma's birthday. We were out. We were gambling, doing that, and then I saw that pop up. And then I was like, oh, I should look at this. And I thought it was fun. I thought it was flattering, you know, you have to try harder next time.

[B]

I'll get meaner. I will.

[A]

Yeah, get a little meaner.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Not too much meaner because I know how you can go.

[B]

Okay, so you're talking about you're gambling with your Grandma Sue.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. I am 100% intrigued by your Grandma sue in a non romantic way.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

I mean I'm not romantically intrigued at your Grandma Sue. I am platonically interested.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In your house. Yeah.

[A]

You want to be friends? You want. You Want to hang with Grandma?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. She should write a book.

[A]

She should.

[B]

And for those that don't know Grandma sue, want you to tell me a little bit about your Grandma Sue.

[A]

Well, Grandma sue, she just turned to 88 years old. She has many hobbies. She likes Powerball tickets and going to the casino, and she likes the daily scratchers, too. Yeah. And so she got a wide range of hobbies.

[B]

Yeah, she.

[A]

She likes Hallmark movies. Yeah.

[B]

She's a very Christian woman, too. Yeah.

[A]

Catholic. Catholic.

[B]

Sorry, didn't mean to swear.

[A]

She says her. Says her rosary, says it for me, you know, that's going to get me out of purgatory.

[B]

She says it for you, but what. She really says it for us so that she can win at the casino. Correct.

[A]

She does do that. Yeah. One time we went to Our lady of Champion, which is a shrine in Wisconsin. Our lady of Champion. And that's basically where this woman, back in the 1800s, she saw the vision of Mary. And, you know, she. They built her a shrine.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

You know, that's how. That's how worked back in the day. That's why, you know, Catholics, it's a little bit nicer than like, you know, the. The Quakers, you know, or whatever's out there in Salem shrines. Yeah. Well, in Salem, if a woman said, I saw the vision, they would have been like, her name's Ash now, you know, so. Yeah. But, you know, back in Wisconsin, we got that. So I went there with her to the shrine, and next door, they were selling apparition dirt. Just dirt where this woman saw the mother Mary. 10 bucks a vial of dirt.

[B]

At what point does it become not the dirt that she was standing on?

[A]

Well, I mean, this.

[B]

You sell. If you sell a thousand vials, at some point, you're just. Now, dirt. Just giving out. You're just selling dirt.

[A]

Well, that's all they're doing. This is not even associated with the shrine. It's just the house next to the shrine. They're just, you know.

[B]

So you bought. Your grandma bought dirt?

[A]

No, she didn't. She. She wasn't really fond of that. I bought the dirt.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. I've got. Sitting on my. It's dangling from my rear view mirror right now. Yeah, yeah, It's. It's a. It's a pretty big jar, too. It's like, not. But I got some nice burlap to make it.

[B]

So if you had to sum up Grandma Sue's philosophy for life into a few bullet points, what would it be?

[A]

Just keep on gambling.

[B]

Gamble.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

The answer to everything is gambling.

[A]

Well, it's not everything. It's just. It makes it a little bit more exciting, you know, just there's a thrill. And I got to tell you, I was not a slots guy before I started taking my grandma to the casino.

[B]

Yeah, you just haven't done slots with the right person is what you're saying.

[A]

Yeah, but I'm a. Addicted to slots, dude. I am a. I mean, and I think.

[B]

I think that's, like, kind of the whole point.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this.

[B]

I think we're getting to the root of a pretty deep issue here.

[A]

Yeah. And you look at, like, older generations looking at the younger generations, like, how can they sit there on their tick tocks all day and just do this? And then you go to the casino.

[B]

It's same thing.

[A]

Same thing. Same church, different pew. But you can make money on the casinos.

[B]

You can also make money on TikTok as well.

[A]

Absolutely. But, yeah, I would say. I would say it's just enjoy life. Live in the moment. Forget about paying your car registration. We got pulled over on the way back from the casino because my grandma didn't pay her car registration. I've gotten pulled over with my grandma, like, three times. Three times. Once for speeding. Twice for speeding.

[B]

She talk her way out of it or. No?

[A]

Well, we tried talking our way out of this. Um, like, my grandma was like, oh, no, we're just going to Culver's, get some ice cream. You know, we. We. I didn't realize we had to pay that. And the guy was like, it's been expired two years. I was like, oh, shit. And then.

[B]

Mary, why didn't you just play the dementia card?

[A]

I mean, I was.

[B]

That's my plan. As soon as I start getting white hair.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm playing the dementia card left and right.

[A]

You're getting the. You're. You're starting to put some white in your hair just so you can.

[B]

Touch of gray.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I'm applying it, like, 10 times in a row, so it's just gray. And then you just play dementia.

[A]

It's not a bad.

[B]

Never played dementia before.

[A]

I. I mean, I feel like I sometimes do on this podcast accidentally.

[B]

What podcast?

[A]

This one. I just forget things sometimes. What podcast are we podcasting? Is this a podcast?

[B]

And that's how you play dementia?

[A]

Yeah. Oh, see, that. No, that.

[B]

See, you're. You're.

[A]

You're just as confused as I. I know, I know. And that.

[B]

Imagine doing that to a cop.

[A]

The cop had. I think he. We had some. We were almost there. I feel like, you know, he's kind of on the edge. But then my aunt Mary saw that he had pink handcuffs. He did. He had. He had regular handcuffs in.

[B]

In October.

[A]

It wasn't in October. It wasn't for breast cancer awareness.

[B]

Left over from breast cancer awareness.

[A]

No. I'm not sure why a pin can't cops. But then my aunt Mary said, could you use those on me? Yeah. I was like, mary, you can't sexually harass a cop, dude. And so we got a ticket, so. That sucked. That sucked. Yeah, like 150 bucks, you know.

[B]

And they made you pay it for sure.

[A]

I think I gave some money. We had a good day at the casino. So it's like paid for itself. No harm, no foul. That's why you go to the casino to pay for your.

[B]

Well, if your grandma was bogged down with all of the logistics of paying for her registration, then she wouldn't be as good at the casino.

[A]

That's true. She's got to have a clear mind for, you know. And I'll tell you this about the casino is the animations on the casino can really get. You do not go to the one with the, you know, the, like, attractive ladies, they never pay out. Never.

[B]

Do you have a good time though?

[A]

Oh, yeah, I had a great time. They had a great time. No, it's fun, man.

[B]

Guys, right now, prize picks will give you fifty dollars in lineups. When you play your first five dollar lineup, win or lose, you'll get fifty bucks in lineups. Use promo code bellied up when you sign up today. Charlie, you already know that you can make player picks on prize picks. Now you can make team picks and culture picks all in one. Prize picks.

[A]

What's a culture pick?

[B]

Well, let me tell you here, it's super simple. With team picks, you can pick who you think will win the game, who will win the fight, whether a team will win by more or less than a certain number of points, total points scored, or even future winners. And it goes. And like you said, the culture picks that we're going beyond sports. All right.

[A]

Yeah, music.

[B]

Everything from music to movie winners to TV show winners, even things like video game release dates are the price of bitcoin.

[A]

You gotta be kidding me.

[B]

Yeah, they got it all on price fix now. So you can back your takes with real money and you can make your picks before or even during live events. Because I know, Charlie, sometimes you're late to the party.

[A]

I'm late to the party.

[B]

Late for the gameplay. Surprise picks. Even if the game's Going on.

[A]

That's great for me.

[B]

Player picks, team picks, culture picks. All one app.

[A]

Look at this. Just took a player pick. I'll send it to Anne. All right. It's fun. We like, we like doing that. We like going to the casino. We like like driving there. We get a good kick out of it. You know, just chit chatting, jabbering, stealing Mary's phone, see who she's swiping on on Catholic Match. Yeah.

[B]

You have a very interesting dynamic because you're. You're Aunt Mary.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

How old is she?

[A]

She's 65, 66.

[B]

Having a single 65 year old aunt is kind of a. Interesting thing.

[A]

Yeah. You know, it gets tough, the dating pool, it closes up on you pretty quick, you know, and you, when you're in your 60s, you don't have a ton of.

[B]

I feel like it might open up then, though, because, you know, people start dropping off, drop going and seeing the Lord.

[A]

Yeah, but people are pretty.

[B]

Seeing the Golden Bachelor. It's kind of what it's all about.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Do they still do that show the golden Batch?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Really? Yeah, yeah. I mean, you kind of get the second runs, but people are very set in their ways once they get older, you know.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

So it's a lot of parents. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I get that. You come over here. No, you come over here. I guess this isn't going to work.

[B]

That's true. No, you sell your. You sell your giant house. No, you sell your giant house.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The next thing you know, it just doesn't work out.

[A]

A lot of times people, when they get older, they just kind of have.

[B]

That was a little boomers aren't downsizing joke.

[A]

Oh, hey, see, a better co host would have picked up on that. It was subtle though.

[B]

You'll stick with me. I got you with plain dementia now. This.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm here with you, Miles.

[B]

We should play Dementia with one of our callers today.

[A]

Oh, that's not a bad idea.

[B]

Not a bad idea at all.

[A]

Should we do it?

[B]

We could at least, at least until they get mad at us.

[A]

That they're probably gonna get mad because I was, I was. When you said, what's a podcast? I was like, are we not podcast? For a second I thought we weren't podcasting. I was like, what are we doing here?

[B]

You could also just call the game Gaslighting. Yeah, it's kind of the same thing.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

No, we didn't call you. You called us.

[A]

Deal.

[C]

Deal.

[B]

You called us. What are you doing, Miles?

[A]

Thanksgiving's coming up. What's the worst. What's the worst thing to serve at Thanksgiving? What's the worst Thanksgiving food?

[B]

Yeah, I think. I mean, it's just so hard to not go with the main one of, like, green bean casserole, just something like that. Yeah, I think. I think it also depends. You gotta read the room. When it comes to food at Thanksgiving. You know, I think if you got a bunch of kids, you should have some sugary, sweet stuff in there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And all that. But I don't know, it's. I just. Like, for my last meal, I may choose a traditional Thanksgiving meal.

[A]

So for you, do you think you're gonna be in a position where you get to choose your last meal? Like, you're assuming you killed somebody and are on death row?

[B]

No.

[A]

Nobody else chooses their last meal.

[B]

Yeah. 100. You're 99. You're kind of mentally like, I'm gonna go within the next 24 hours. You could request Thanksgiving meal.

[A]

Is that how it goes?

[B]

You think you're in a nursing home. You're 99. You feel like you're gonna die. You don't think you can request exotic meal.

[A]

I bet you could request an exact. You're just gonna.

[B]

The nurse is like, ah. Actually, we've had bud order and so I could maybe do a TV dinner, maybe not a Thanksgiving dinner. For your last meal.

[A]

I know you said risotto. What do you feel about ramen? Good. That'd be real good. Yeah. I. I think you're gonna go nursing home.

[B]

You think?

[A]

No, No, I don't think so. I. I mean, everybody says they're not going to. Well, you know, people might not die anymore. Way technology's going.

[B]

Okay, so. So you're banking that you're just not gonna die? So you're not even. The. The nursing home isn't even on your radar.

[A]

No, I mean, I think we're all going to be in some kind of. I don't really know. It's tough to tell with the future these days, but I feel like I'm not. I think I'm gonna go off to the woods. I think I'm gonna go off like a wounded deer and just find a tree and lay down for a little bit.

[B]

Bleed out in the woods?

[A]

Yeah, something like that.

[B]

How are you going to be bleeding? Well, will you have stabbed yourself?

[A]

No, no, no. I wouldn't do it on my. I go and dressed as a deer and just see what that might be.

[B]

Kind of the most thrilling way to go out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dress like a Deer and just start grunting in the woods.

[A]

Yeah. Opening weekend, I'm doing all the calls, you know. Yeah, that might be good. And by then, costumes will be so killer. I bet you I could look just like a deer.

[B]

You're gonna die. You just, like, pay like a Hollywood guy to, like, do you up, like, Grinch style.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Jim Carrey, but as a deer.

[A]

And if you think about it, if you're standing like a deer, it's sort of the same place you want to shoot, you know, Hits you right in the heart there. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

That's why you want them broadside for sure.

[A]

Exactly. I'm just. I'm just broadside and everyone. You know, so I'm humans.

[B]

You're either not dying, or you are going to get in deer costume on opening weekend and trot through the woods hoping to get shot.

[A]

Or I hook up.

[B]

You know, the mental baggage you would put on that hunter for the rest of his life.

[A]

I get over it. I'd leave him a note. I'd say, this was the way I wanted to go.

[B]

He. He spreads you open to Gutcha, and there's a note taped to your underbelly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Deer Hunter.

[A]

It would say Deer Hunter.

[B]

Hopefully I got your first name right. He reads it. He's like, got it. He just. How did he know that I was in here? This is a very specific note. How does he know my name's Hunter? Starts out with, like, ope. You got me. Oh, I guess you weren't watching out for. I guess you were watching out for de. Great job, dare guy.

[A]

You just write it in accent, you know? How would you want to go?

[B]

It would suck, though. He doesn't hit you in the heart, just catches your hind leg. And you just have to, like, just. That's the way you go. Bleed out from leg wound.

[A]

Oh, God. Yeah. This doesn't sound like a great plan after we've hashed it out now, you know, But I already said it. How do you want to go, Miles?

[B]

You know, I'm a. I'm a analytics guy, so, like, I'm probably gonna die of either a stroke, cancer, or heart attack.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I mean, if you're really playing into the numbers. Yeah, we talked about this, and you bet your radio. The chances of dying by traumatic death are pretty low. It's going to be more of a slow burn, like cancer for years as you slowly deteriorate and life isn't very good, and you kind of wish you were dead by the end of it anyways.

[A]

At that point, you can just Go skydiving, You know, no parachute. No, I have a parachute, but you just run the numbers there.

[B]

Yeah. You can go skydiving.

[A]

Rocky Mountain climbing.

[B]

We'll go. You go Rocky Mountain climbing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You could ride a bull.

[A]

Go 2.7 seconds.

[B]

Yeah. The bull I got my eye on is Blue Man Shoe.

[A]

Blue Man Shoe.

[B]

I think that's what the name.

[A]

Is that what he said? Yeah. Blue Man Chew.

[B]

It's a bull. I just. Yeah, I got my eye on him. I can go 2.7 seconds. I mean, like, statistically, I'm gonna die of probably one of those three.

[A]

Have you done everything you want to do before your. Is your bucket list all crossed off my.

[B]

I would say no. I. Like, there's probably, you know, like, I haven't been to Europe. I need to go to Europe. You know, Europe.

[A]

It's on your bucket list.

[B]

Well, it's just, like, something I got to do before I die.

[A]

You don't have to.

[B]

No. And that's where I was going with this. I have stuff like that on my list that. Like, stuff I'd like to do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I'm also to the point now where I don't need anything else. So if I did die without doing anything else, I feel would be like, yeah, I did what I needed to do.

[A]

Yeah. Where do you think we go when we die? Miles. Wow.

[B]

Where do. Where do humans. Or where do you. And, hi.

[A]

Where do we go? We go to that big old bar in the sky there.

[B]

I don't think we're going to hell, Charlie. But we definitely aren't going straight to heaven.

[A]

No, we got a.

[B]

We got a good. Good sentencing in Purgatory, but we're gonna do it right, though. Like, we're gonna become the fun guys in Purgatory, I think. Like, I imagine we could still podcast when we get there.

[A]

I bet you we could.

[B]

We could have people from heaven call into our Purgatory podcast.

[A]

Oh, that would be good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Today we're taking hell callers. Hell callers only.

[B]

Where. Yeah. Are. Yeah. Where you at and what you do to get there.

[A]

Yeah, There you go.

[B]

Kind of a. Kind of a banger segment idea.

[A]

I bet you. Per.

[B]

We should start asking our callers if they think they're going to heaven or hell.

[A]

That would be good. I think we should do that.

[B]

I think we should end each call with that. Start it with. Let's. Let's do that today. Okay, so here's what the rundown is. We're going to ask them, do you guys think you're going to heaven or hell.

[C]

Uhhuh.

[B]

And then immediately followed up by playing dementia.

[A]

That's smart. This is going to be a great podcast. I already know it. I already know it. This is. Well, the. The first person will really tell us how this goes, because.

[B]

Thanks for taking our call. First question on the docket. You going to heaven? Are you going to hell?

[A]

Also, what's your biggest childhood insecurity? I'm. I'm liking it. I'm mapping out the direction of this in our. In my head right now. I think this is going to go fucking. Freaking awesome. Sorry.

[B]

There we go. That's why we're. That's why we're going to be doing. We're going to be bellied up to the pearly gates. We're not going to be inside. We're just going to be right up to it. We tail. We're going to. We're going to be tailgating heaven.

[A]

You know, Tailgating.

[B]

We're gonna be the tailgating guys that don't buy a ticket to the game. They just go and watch the game on a TV in the bed of the truck.

[A]

We just assume that we'll find one, and if we don't, you know, yeah, it'll be fun.

[B]

We're not even gonna have our own tailgate set up. We're just gonna show up to tailgate with a case of beer and just talk our way into a tailgate.

[A]

If you go to Lambeau and you tailgate, you can watch the game on the jumbotron from the outside.

[B]

That'll be us.

[A]

That's us. We can hear the roar.

[B]

Honestly, it sounds better anyways in a lot of ways.

[A]

Yeah. Beer's cheaper.

[B]

Beer's cheaper.

[A]

Do you think in heaven you have to pay for beer?

[B]

And I think in heaven, there is no beer, so that's why we drink it here. Wise man once said. I think that was George Strait.

[A]

George Strait. You know, we should do Tailgate in Heaven as, like, a Midwest country song. What do you think about that?

[B]

Yeah, we could.

[A]

Yeah, we wrote it right here. Well, should we piss off some callers, Miles?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, I think we should.

[A]

All right, let's do it, Miles. Black Friday's done. So now you're hauling the relatives, the dog, that mystery shopping cart full of stuff you don't even remember buying. The family van's full, the driveway slick, and someone clips the bumper backing you out. Next thing you know, you're in the ER instead of the kitchen. If that post holiday shuttle turns into a crash, I'll tell You. Who's there to handle the mess? Miles Nicolay, Law Russell Nicolay, Beard and all, baby. You just call them up. 1-855-NICOLET.

[B]

The last thing you want is your Black Friday to turn into Black Eye Friday. But if you end up in that scenario, call Nicolay.

[A]

Hey, call Nicolette.

[B]

Charlie, you never want to be the guy who shows up to holiday party empty handed.

[A]

No, you can't be that guy. You got to bring something.

[B]

You got to bring something. And even if you have nothing in your hands and you're short on time, all you got to do is pull up to the liquor store and pick up some Tippy Cow chocolate shake.

[A]

Tippy Cow.

[B]

You'll have a liquid dessert in your hands quicker than you're parking at the mall. Which at the mall is tough.

[A]

Yeah, it is.

[B]

Pour it over ice and boom. You just serve drinks everyone actually wants. It's an easy one to gift. It's easy to drink and even easier to pretend. You put effort into it. That's the type of gift I like. One that looks like I tried hard, but in fact, I didn't.

[A]

You know what, Miles? And I'll tell you, when they do put this in their glass and they take a sip, they put it to the teeth with that real Wisconsin milk. Once it hits the palate, oh, there's nothing like it.

[B]

And so, guys, this holiday season, be the holiday hero. Pick up some Tippy cow. Go on and have a cow.

[A]

Tippy cow. Moo.

[B]

Hi, is this Brady? Yeah.

[C]

How are you doing?

[B]

Good, how are you?

[C]

I'm doing great.

[B]

Well, Brady, you got Charlie and I on the Bellied up podcast, and we have a question for you right off the bat. Do you think. Do you think you are going to heaven or hell?

[C]

Ooh, probably. Is there somewhere in the middle?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you can tailgate heaven.

[C]

You know what? I think that's where I belong. Honestly.

[A]

All right.

[C]

I think that's where I belong. Yep. Yeah.

[B]

You're a purgatory guy.

[C]

Yeah. Purgatory. That's what it's called. So brush up on my.

[B]

This is kind of an interesting psychological experiment. I think 90 of people are gonna say purgatory. What do you think? What do you think you could have done to earn yourself a ticket to hell?

[C]

Oh, there's a number of things. Realistically, I mean, stealing bacon for my grandpa would be one of them. That was pretty big. I feel like.

[B]

Wait, wait, wait, no. Oh, so you did that?

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah.

[B]

I was saying, what could you do to go to hell? But.

[A]

I mean, stealing bacon from your grandpa. My God.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. How much bacon are we talking, Brady?

[C]

Well, we just. I mean, we killed a cat. We killed a. I mean, freaking pig. Sorry about that, guys. So, I mean, there's a good amount of it, but, you know, a couple pounds of it, realistically.

[B]

Well, you were. You were. You were embezzling bacon from your grandpa.

[A]

The old.

[B]

You were skimming off the top from your grandpa.

[C]

Yeah, I mean, realistically, someone's got to make money, right?

[A]

Did you then sell the bacon?

[C]

Just depends. I mean, it really just depends.

[B]

All right, well, what else did you do that you should be going to hell for?

[C]

I mean, geez, I've been a bad. A bad boyfriend, I guess you would say, at certain points in my life.

[A]

Oh, no. What'd you do?

[C]

Oh, you know, well, lied about buying an engagement ring at one point.

[A]

Nice. She's like, have you even bought the ring yet? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I bought it.

[C]

Oh, it was bad.

[B]

But it is a perfect scenario because it's like, did you buy an engagement ring and. Yeah. Well, let me see it. Well, no, I can't show it to you yet.

[A]

Yeah, it's got to be a surprise.

[B]

Perfect thing to lie about actually.

[C]

Oh, it turned out bad though. I ended up having me being me. I was so. I was so anxious about this and being so. I've been dating really. Let's get this. I've been dating this girl for about eight years and you know, realistically, at that point in time, she's starting to want to, you know, get married, start a family, etc. Yeah, you obviously know this guys.

[B]

The classic song and dance.

[C]

Exactly. But anyway, so what had happened was is we split apart for a little bit and did the long distance thing. And ultimately, you know, she was pressing me about getting married and I didn't necessarily want to at the point in time, but I folded to it away and borrowed my sister's engage wedding ring. Went over my. Went over my friend's house and got a ring box. And they. It really was just a. It was a. A bad day, we'll put it that way. And it took my girlfriend about 15 minutes to figure out that the ring was my sister's. And also the box was not necessarily even a ring box.

[A]

So did you just get like a cardboard box from your buddy?

[C]

No, it was. It wasn't a cardboard box. You know, it was like a. You know how I. It was a jewelry box, but it wasn't like a, you know, like a ring box.

[B]

It was like a necklace. It was Like a necklace box, One of the wide ones.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Because you opened it up and it was just in the center and there's all the extra stuff.

[C]

Exactly. Well, there's like, little empty spaces. You know, realistically, there's empty space in there for you to put other stuff. And she's like, you understand that this looks like it got from Walmart with like a buy one, get five things for free, you know.

[B]

So what was. I mean, what was your end game there? You proposed to her with an engagement ring, your sister's wedding ring. What was your plan if she would have said yes? Because I'm guessing she said no.

[A]

Well, yeah, no.

[C]

So here's what happened was we. I. This was all done over phone. So, like, we weren't in the same air, like, the same state. She's from Michigan, I'm from Illinois. So at that point in time, we split. And like I said, we did the distance thing for a while. And that was like, my way of trying to get her to come back, obviously, but me not thinking things through. Yeah. So it took like, I sent a couple pictures over to her because she was, you know, basically trying to tell me what you said, Miles, that's. It's fake. It's not. It's not yours. It's your sister's. Yada, yada, yada. And ultimately she found out, and now we're just recently got back together not too long ago, and then also already bought another engagement ring that I took back.

[A]

Oh, you bought another one and took it back. So this. This. Now you're on going on nine years.

[B]

And two engagement rings.

[A]

Two engage. One. One was your sister. Did your sister just give you her ring for this?

[B]

Yeah. Talk about the ultimate enabler.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So if I went to my sister and said, hey, can I borrow your wedding ring so I can tell my girlfriend I bought one, she would be like, you are a piece of. Do not do that.

[C]

Well, you know, Miles and Charlie, it really comes down to this, though, is if they don't like the girl necessarily, people go along with things, you know.

[A]

Oh, so your sister's not.

[B]

So it was more like, yeah, go ahead, use my wedding ring. Here you go. I think that's a great idea.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Will you.

[B]

I can't wait for the wedding.

[C]

Oh, yeah, well, that's probably what would have happened. I should just go get one out of the quarter machine. You know, realistically, and it might be a better investment.

[B]

No, I mean, I think the better investment in your future is to probably never get back together with this girl. Ever again is probably more so the way you should be thinking. I don't know. That's just me.

[C]

Yeah, I know, but, you know, you don't always think things through.

[A]

What you're still. You're still with.

[B]

She, like, great in the sack. What's going on?

[C]

Oh, dude, she's. I mean, yeah, she's great in the sack. She's. She's beautiful. Honestly, she's out of my league when it comes to looks wise.

[B]

There we go.

[A]

There it is.

[B]

Yeah, I'll kick this coverage.

[C]

Yeah, I'll kick my coverage 100. And, you know, the distance, you know, between us is. You know, we started living in different states and we still do. And she's looking at moving back down because I'm in Florida now, and she's looking at moving down here. So if she actually moves, it'll probably be solidified, but if she doesn't, then it'll be one of those things where we probably. Well, like you said, Miles, I honestly should probably just be done with it. Let's. Let's be real.

[A]

Why'd you return the ring the second time?

[C]

So, you know, her birthday was in October, and we. We went to Sedona, Arizona, and I was. I was actually going to propose to her out there.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Well, what had happened was, Charlie is. What was it through, like a week before? Yeah, maybe a week, week and a half before we were getting ready to leave, all hell broke loose, and we end up splitting up again. You know, just like the high school couple. You know, it goes back and forth between each other.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

And ultimately we ended up going out to Sedona, not even together. And again, me being me, went out, bought an engagement ring thing, and that'll fix everything, and broke up, told her that we got the engagement ring, and out of pity or a pettiness, I guess you would say, and. Yeah. So not happy about it. She knows about the ring and knew about the ring, so didn't want to give her one that I intended to give to her while we were together. And then the breakup again, and ultimately we just. I don't know, it just. I wanted my money back. Let's be honest here.

[B]

Do you have a car? Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, I do.

[B]

Have you ever been in a car accident before?

[C]

A couple of them, yeah.

[B]

And have you ever totaled your car before?

[C]

No, I haven't.

[B]

So you just keep getting it fixed, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Now, if you had totaled your car, would you have gotten a new car or tried to fix it?

[C]

Oh, I would have bought the car.

[B]

There we go.

[C]

Damn it, Miles.

[A]

Oh, you understood that analogy? Miles didn't even try to connect the dots on that.

[B]

The dots connected themselves, Charlie.

[A]

I think this relationship's been totaled twice, though, to be quite honest with you.

[B]

He just keeps getting under the hood. Now. Kudos to your. To your mechanic abilities.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're being able to at least get it running again.

[A]

But I'm gonna guess that you two. You guys were each other's first love kind of a thing. Oh, gosh.

[C]

No, no, no, no, no.

[A]

Okay, well, now you have no excuse. I don't understand how you're wasting your time like this, you know? Do you think it's actually going to work out or. No.

[C]

Oh, my gosh. My. Charlie. Charlie, I. I wish it would, and I hope it does, but in the back of the head, you know, just like most people realize it's probably. It's probably not going to. I mean, realistically, probably won't, but you gotta have hope, I guess I feel like. And. But then again, I probably just love love. Love struck and blind. So you.

[A]

Yeah. You're still in love with her?

[C]

Yeah, you know. You know I am. It's weird, but it's different, dude, when you hit that, when you find that person that has the connection with you, you know, it tends to work out.

[A]

But you had a lot of sisters. Engagement ring.

[C]

Actually, you know, real. Really, Charlie. It was. It was actually my sister's wife's wedding ring, so it was a little bit different.

[A]

It was your sister's wife's wedding ring. So your sister's wife gave you her ring? You didn't steal the ring. She gave it just to see this thing go up in flames.

[C]

Oh, 100%. It's classic enabler, like you said.

[A]

Yeah. God, it's nice to have supportive family, though, I'll say that.

[C]

Oh, I know. And especially when you have.

[B]

Especially when you have, like, the nugget you're taking. Yeah, you got. You sound like. Got a great family. It sounds like you guys all love each other. I love that.

[C]

You know, Charlie and Miles, it's one of these things too, where I, you know, with. With my voicemail after. Guys, you know, coming from a family of parents that got a divorce four times and back together with each other each time, and it definitely shows you the ropes and how to actually have a successful relationship.

[A]

I feel like, wow, they've gotten four divorces. I didn't even tell us why you called. I don't even know. I didn't even hear the voicemail.

[C]

Oh, gosh. So what? It Was. Was you guys were asking about something that was something like a small town.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

I don't remember exactly, but my parents got married and divorced force times to each other. So obviously the classic cheating. That's not getting. Not getting along fighting stuff. But the best part about it was, is the last time my. My dad actually on a. A choir high school choir field trip, we were in Texas, and my dad ended up sleeping with my choir director. On the trip.

[A]

Wow, really?

[B]

And so time out. You said earlier in this call. I'm trying not to play dementia here. You said earlier call that because your parents got married and divorced four times, you now know what a successful relationship looks like.

[C]

Well, you just can't quit. No, I'm joking around about the success right there. But you know, hey, at least they got. At least they're determined enough to, you know, get back together, I guess you would say.

[A]

Are they married still right now?

[C]

100.

[A]

100.

[B]

Why don't they just go open relationship style? It sounds like they like each other for like codependent wise. Why don't they just go open relationship miles?

[C]

Try having that conversation with your dad. Yeah, that's true, but I've already tried. Well, it doesn't go very well.

[B]

Well, you know what? You might not be able to have that conversation, but you know who. Charlie?

[A]

Who's that?

[B]

You and I. Yeah, we could.

[A]

We could have that kind. You want to put your dad on?

[B]

Should we call your dad and ask?

[C]

My gosh, he's actually blue. He's actually out with my. My mom.

[B]

Oh, this great. We get two for one.

[A]

He's out with your mom right now. Loop him in.

[B]

Yeah, we'll do a little elevator pitch on open in relationships to your parents.

[C]

Oh, God. Let's. Let me try. Let me get them in here. Give me a second, guys.

[B]

I was. I was kind of joking.

[C]

Oh, I would.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, go for it.

[B]

Go ahead, Go ahead.

[A]

This is.

[B]

I'm. Now. My hands are so sweaty now.

[C]

All right, give me a second, guys.

[A]

Please, please.

[B]

I. I have. I can't back out. My heart is beating so fast.

[A]

He ended it. Oh, thank God.

[B]

Feel my heart.

[A]

Oh, my God. It's like boom, boom, boom, boom.

[C]

Hey. He didn't answer. I'm sorry.

[A]

He didn't answer. Thank God. That. I don't know.

[B]

I was. My. I. I was all bark, no bite there. Yeah, I was not gonna.

[C]

Well, come on, guys. You gotta jump in.

[A]

What grade did you get in choir, by the way?

[C]

Oh, dude, you're. You know. Charlie, you're looking At a dude that was. Well, they don't give grace inquire, you know, I mean, especially in high school. But I was choir treasurer. You know, I was the treasurer of.

[A]

The high school choir, so.

[B]

You were.

[A]

I think your dad was treasure in her.

[C]

Honestly, he found the treasure.

[A]

Yeah. Did you know that they were hooking up that night? Could you see the signs?

[C]

No. No. The only way. No, here's what it was. Is everybody in my high school, even through, I mean, middle school, high school, thought that I was the one gonna be sleeping with that choir teacher. Lo and behold. No, I. I didn't even realize my dad had a thing for her, but.

[B]

No, I had a thing for it, actually. He actually felt betrayed.

[A]

Yeah. Your dad swooped on you.

[C]

He stole her from me. He couldn't.

[A]

He.

[C]

You know, he's like, I always gotta have her first. Probably this.

[B]

When we asked for. For hometown drama, I could have never imagined a love triangle. You're, like, in a love octagon right now between your teacher and your. Your total car girlfriend. And then your parents keep getting together and not. This is more than I bargained for.

[A]

Yeah, it really is. I wonder, have you tried hitting that choir director up?

[B]

I thought you were just gonna stop with. Are you hitting that choir director?

[C]

I thought you were gonna say that. And the answer question is yes to both.

[A]

Really?

[B]

So you and your dad are Eskimo brothers with.

[C]

Unfortunately, man. Unfortunately.

[A]

Unfortunately, you hit up your choir. When did you sleep with your ex choir director?

[C]

So graduated high school? 2015. 2020.

[B]

So you're like, 23.

[A]

So Covid. Covid's going on, and you just decide to call your choir director up. She's been living rent free in your mind for five years. Are you with your girlfriend at this point?

[C]

I. Yes. Yep, yep, yep.

[B]

So remember telling you that? Oh, my God. So both you and your dad cheated on your respective significant others with your choir teacher?

[C]

Not first, but yes, we did not first. Yeah, we weren't the first ones to cheat.

[B]

Oh, okay. So your mom cheated first and your girlfriend cheated first before.

[C]

Yeah, there you go.

[B]

So, okay, so you had.

[A]

Excuse.

[B]

You had retaliation cheating sex. Both you and your dad had retaliation cheating sex with your choir teacher.

[C]

Exactly.

[B]

Holy.

[A]

Who did you ask your choir teacher who was, like, better, you or your dad?

[C]

I didn't want to know that answer.

[B]

Yeah, I wouldn't either.

[A]

Did you kind of thumb it around, though? Like, hey, could you imagine being told.

[C]

That, like, you know, it's like, you know, off of step brothers, you know, she's ready for the young, you know, the young calf, not the old bull, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And imagine having the. Having her tell you the. The old bull is, you know, better than the young calf, man.

[B]

Did. When you guys were done, should he go? Did she go? Oh, that was cute. Talk about something you don't want to hear after sex.

[C]

Oh, my gosh. Are. Are you done yet?

[A]

Did you feel around for it, though? Did you be like, was this like, the best sex you've ever had in the past?

[C]

No, no, no, no, it wasn't. It wasn't. It was just. It wasn't. It was one of those things where you just got to market off your bucket list, you know?

[A]

Yeah, I. I suppose that is.

[B]

Charlie was asking me about my bucket list earlier, and that's one thing I haven't knocked off that list. Charlie?

[A]

Yeah, he didn't even. He had trip. Choir director, high school choir director was not even in. In his realm of thought. But we're. We're glad you put it on our radar here, Brady.

[B]

So does your dad know that you shaboinked your choir teacher as well?

[C]

No secret. That'll be a secret that I take to the grave there, buddy.

[A]

Try him back. Let's see.

[B]

Let's give him a call. I think I found the angle. I feel like I'm comfortable enough talking to him about.

[C]

All right, give me a second.

[B]

I can't. No, I'm not comfortable with this. I'm playing.

[A]

Yeah, okay.

[B]

He's just. He's just pressing pound over and over again to threaten us with calling. This is. What are we doing?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

What are we doing?

[A]

This is like. It's like a Jerry Springer episode is what this has turned into.

[C]

Dude, he actually picked up that time.

[A]

Did he?

[C]

But, yeah, but it didn't let. It didn't have it come through.

[B]

It won't let us do a three way like your dad, you and Miles.

[C]

You had to go there, dude. You had to go there.

[B]

Oh, man. Okay, so how much cheating has your sister done on her partner?

[C]

Listen, we're a family of them. It's bad.

[A]

Everyone's cheating, huh?

[C]

Everyone has, man. But see, it's. Listen, we're the love struck ones where we don't do it first. It's always out of, you know, out of like a. You know, like you said, just out of. Out of a. You know, being mad, you know, being upset with being cheated on, the rebuttal.

[B]

Angry cheating.

[C]

Yeah, but still, I mean, obviously, it doesn't make it right, but how many.

[A]

Times have you Cheated? Yeah, like twice.

[C]

Twice?

[B]

You've chosen twice?

[A]

Once with the choir director. Who is the second one?

[B]

Gym teacher.

[C]

Oh, it wasn't a gym teacher. My gym teacher was a dude, unfortunately, so.

[B]

Hey, your sister's got a partner, so. I didn't know.

[C]

I know, I know, I know. I can't go that way. I'm sorry, but, no, the other one's.

[A]

Just a tender hookup, you know, Tinder or tender.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

So you're in a relationship. You just have a Tinder profile.

[C]

I did, man. Listen. I did. At that point in time, I was young, dumb, and I would. You could finish the rest of that.

[B]

So you were young and dumb. What are you now?

[C]

I'm just dumb.

[B]

All right, got it.

[A]

How old are you?

[C]

29.

[A]

29 years old. Has she. How many times has she cheated on you?

[C]

Listen, that's what's. That's what's hard, man.

[A]

I.

[C]

You know, I've caught. I've caught. I've caught it once, but, you know, I'm sure that there's been more. Usually once. Listen, once you do it once, it's. It makes it easier, you know?

[A]

How'd you catch it?

[C]

Listen, dude, she was. Oh, dude, this is bad. This is a bad one. So we're at. We're at Disney, believe it or not.

[B]

She hooked up with Goofy.

[C]

She didn't hook up with Mickey Mouse. She didn't hook up with Mickey Mouse. But here's how it happened and went down. We're there for a family Christmas, right? My whole family flew down to Florida. We all got a big.

[B]

Don't understand this family dynamic. Everyone's just cheating on each other, and we're like, let's all go to Disney World and pretend like nothing's going on.

[C]

I know. Hey, Disney's where things happen and makes you happy. You can't be upset there, you know?

[A]

All right, so you bring. You bring your girlfriend down to a family trip to Disney for Christmas.

[C]

Yep. We're sitting at it. We're sitting having dinner at this nice steakhouse in Disney, mind you. You have all the freaking creatures running around. You have all the characters dressed up and stuff. Ultimately, I ended up seeing her texting some dude, and I'm like, who is this guy? And I didn't ask at this point in time. But after dinner, I go, hey, who's this guy named Chase? And she goes, oh, obviously the classic, oh, he's just a guy from work. He's a friend that I know. And, you know, he was asking me a question. Well, then later, on you start seeing smiley faces, hearts, and stuff like that. And I'm like, what's going on here? Well, lo and behold, I end up finding the dude and messaged him and asked what happened and he came up front. He came clean and told me they were in a full on relationship.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Did he know about you?

[C]

Yeah, she had. Had actually bought a house with the guy.

[A]

Are you serious?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

No wonder you return the ring, dude.

[C]

Oh, exactly, man.

[B]

I mean, that's a crazy story, Charlie. He's still dating this.

[C]

That's what makes it even crazier, right?

[B]

Dating this girl? Yep.

[A]

Have you seen a therapist?

[C]

Listen, they don't want to see me after the year and a half, the stuff, I have a better chance of having you guys be my therapist at this point.

[A]

Well, we're trying to give you advice. Doesn't sound like you're gonna take it. That's really impressive. Also, Chase.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

That's. That's like. It's like she's cheating on you with like an Asher or something, you know?

[B]

Yeah, like. Yeah, like a Kai skin or something.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Someone fad, you know?

[C]

Oh, God. And you know, you said a fad. I think that's what is going on right now with all this stuff. You know, you have the Internet. Yeah. It's so easy to just, you know, find. Find things, you know?

[B]

All right, Charlie, I want you. So he's basically saying it's a fad to just cheat on your significant other. Okay.

[C]

Not good, though.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And, you know, if that's true, it's got to be pretty tough to go about your day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And not cheat on your significant other. So for those of you, everyone who's fallen victim to the fad, just lay out how difficult it is to just not cheat on your significant other. What would a day look like not cheating on your significant other?

[A]

Well, you know, you.

[C]

You.

[A]

You go. You go to work and then you go home and you call your significant other and you say, I love you, and you go to bed.

[B]

And you go to bed.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And so.

[B]

Yeah, that's probably all you need to figure out.

[A]

That's really not going to help at all. I didn't. It's. You're saying it's. It's something that's been going on since the. The dawn of time, but now you're saying it's just easier with the dating apps. Is that. Where did she. Did she meet Chad on a.

[C]

No, they met at work.

[A]

They were.

[C]

They legitimately worked together. That wasn't a lie.

[A]

What did she do for work?

[C]

She worked at a marijuana grow facility.

[A]

Oh, my God, what a keeper.

[B]

Dude, this is adding.

[C]

Oh, I know, right? Yeah, I know, right? This is starting to. You know, I was wondering what kind.

[B]

Of woman would do this, and now that you said that, I. Yes, that kind of woman. I get it now.

[A]

You know, but there's no judging. There's no judging. Except for the judging point already.

[B]

Yeah. At what point point, though, can we judge?

[C]

We can never judge perfectly. Fine to judge.

[B]

So you're saying there's no line crossed to where you don't get judged?

[A]

I mean, I already judged and I said no judgment, so I guess there is judgment. But you know what? You know what? I think you just got to keep following your heart and. And see where it leads you. You know, and it may lead you to borrowing another ring to pretend like you're going to propose or buying a ring and then taking it back in a childish. Not led you astray yet. So just keep following it.

[B]

Yep. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You know, I. They always say, you know, guys have two heads. Apparently the. My head up top doesn't work as well. So.

[A]

When was the last time you cheated?

[C]

Oh, it's been, I mean, what, four years? Somewhere around there.

[A]

Okay, so back at five years, if it was 20. 20. Oh, Tinder came after the choir teacher.

[C]

Yeah, like a couple weeks after that. It was a little. That was on a little.

[B]

You were on a generational run there for a sec.

[C]

A little spree, you know, but wow. I mean, right around when I found out about the whole cheating thing for her, so I just, you know, gotta get. Unfortunately, gotta go get a little bit. Get a little bit of get back.

[B]

I mean, yeah, that's the way you.

[C]

Were raised, you know, hey, monkey see, monkey do, right?

[A]

I guess, man. I guess that's exciting. Well, we're all real happy for you.

[B]

I would like at a different day, we should try and get your dad on this thing.

[A]

Do you think your dad would be honest with us?

[C]

Oh, yeah, he would. He's. Yeah. 100. He would. I don't know how he would take the whole tone about the open relationship.

[B]

Well, we would just. We would probably ask him. So this is how I would do it. I would just ask him if he was. It's. Oh, so you're in an open relationship and then he may go, oh, what's that? Or no, you know, then when that's your gateway in, you're not going to be like, like, hey, bucko, sounds like you need to be in an open Relationship. Because dads are a lot like deer, you know, you gotta approach them very softly. You have to be quiet. They spook real easily. Yeah, you gotta easier lure them in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then take your shot and tell it's too late for them, you know, I don't know if your dad's that way. You try and you try and convince them of anything. You come in too hot, he's. He's out, he's done, he's gone.

[C]

You should just take some lessons from his sister. You know his sister. Yeah, I know. Listen, this is. This is a therapy session at this point, right, guys?

[A]

What about his sister?

[C]

Oh, his sister, my aunt. She and her husband have been. I don't know if you consider it, what, swinging or just open. I consider swingers. I'll put it that way. So, I mean, he should just. He should be used to it by now or be being around those types of people. So.

[A]

So, okay, so you know the swinging lifestyle then. The family's familiar with it?

[C]

Yeah, family's familiar with it. Family's familiar with it.

[A]

Well, what about you? Would you be a swinger? I. I'm.

[C]

I'm possessive.

[A]

You're possessive?

[B]

Okay, he's got a small wiener self. I do, just about it. I get it.

[C]

Listen, I don't want to listen.

[B]

I'm the same reason why I wouldn't be open to it.

[C]

Exactly. You know, it's. It's a.

[A]

It's.

[C]

It's a little scary thing, you know, a little timid.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I think, Charlie, we can confidently answer the first question we asked. Are they going, is he going to heaven or hell? I think his whole family's going to hell.

[C]

I think they have a special room for us.

[B]

Yeah. You guys have a VIP booth in hell? Just lined up with choir teachers ready to roll.

[A]

What does the choir sing in hell? Oh, what.

[C]

What would you guys think the choir does sing in hell?

[B]

I don't know. I'm not that quick. Oh, I joke, you guys. There's plenty of time for you guys to repent.

[A]

He's already repented. You know, he's gone.

[B]

He's gone and we.

[A]

He's gone four or five years without cheating on his fiance slash girlfriend. Are you. Do you think you're going to propose again here soon?

[C]

You know, that's the big question. I don't. I don't know, man. I. You know, part of me wants to, but part of me is like, you know, just like you guys were saying earlier, is the time, you know, is. Is the rope at the end, you know, or you know, should I just jump ship now or should I actually buckle in or take it for another ride? But that's, that's where my head is at this point, so. And I don't know, but yeah, total.

[B]

Is what you're looking.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

At this point it's probably in the junkyard getting scrapped. Let's be. Let's be real.

[B]

It's already like compacted into a cube.

[C]

By the way, the song. I thought about it for a second. Burn baby, burn. Probably.

[A]

Oh, there you go. There you go.

[B]

Yeah, I think that you should let it burn and feeling what's yours.

[C]

Charlie, what song are you thinking?

[B]

Yeah, there you go. That actually would be agreed with the.

[A]

Car analogy here, you know.

[C]

Oh, 100. That's the, that's, that's the better answer there.

[A]

Yeah. I don't think you're going to hell. I think you're doing good, you guys. We're all just trying to find our way through this. This crazy ball of gas that live on. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah, just. Just keep on doing. You put.

[B]

Technically, Earth is a rock and Jupiter.

[A]

Yeah, but there's gas here too.

[B]

Yeah, there is.

[A]

Yeah. So gas. Yeah, but I'd be. I'd ask her if she's cheating on you still. I would just.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[B]

Oh, for sure.

[A]

It sounded like that's where he's going.

[B]

Oh, she for sure is.

[C]

Well, at this point, dude. So it's almost like we. I mean, I was. I don't want to have an open relationship, but it's almost like hell at this point, you know, probably already. Is it. Let's be honest with that, you know?

[A]

You think she's cheating on you right now?

[C]

Oh, probably. I mean, listen, she's in Florida, I'm in Michigan. I mean, I'm in Florida, she's in Michigan.

[A]

Are you guys even together? Dude, on paper.

[C]

We'll put it that way.

[A]

On paper. Like, dude, in theory. Do you talk to her every day?

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Do you talk to around like 10 o' clock or like 8 o' clock when she's like, oh, I gotta go to bed early?

[B]

Yeah. Does she fall asleep early a lot?

[C]

No, I'm the one that falls asleep early.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, no, she. She gets the luxury of being a stay at home girlfriend.

[B]

So you're paying for her too?

[C]

Not anymore. Was there for a while.

[B]

Oh my God. So she got. She took his money and bought a house with another guy.

[A]

My money. Wait, she bought a house with the other guy with your Money.

[C]

I wouldn't say like, it's not like she has my bank account or anything like that. But listen, I would, you know, I would say, you know, help her out with certain things. And, you know, ultimately, I think you. You.

[B]

Yeah, I think she bought a house with another guy with your money.

[C]

Oh, I. Yeah. I mean, yeah, she probably did.

[B]

How, in what world does this make sense for you to still be dating this girl?

[C]

It doesn't.

[A]

Miles.

[B]

There's that we could get all of this. Mathematicians, Neil Degrassi, Stephen Hobby working on this problem. Albert Einstein's. And the math just won't add up.

[A]

What do you do for work?

[C]

I run an insurance agency.

[A]

You run an insurance agent.

[B]

So you talk about. Yeah. You mean you're. You're doing risk versus reward all day long?

[A]

Yep.

[B]

You are evaluating assets all day long. And he likes to leave work at work.

[A]

He doesn't want that to bleed into his home life.

[B]

I want to just make his whole life about, you know, totaled cars.

[A]

When did she buy the home with the guy? What? How many years ago was that?

[C]

So she. I think it was 2022 or 2023. And what's funny is I didn't find it, but one of my buddies, you know, I told one of my. One of my really good friends, I told him about what was going on. So he did a little bit of like a search and found out that she bought a house. And like I said, I think it was 2022 or 2023. And in June of this year, she actually sold it. And she still to this, at this point, does not know that. I know.

[B]

So.

[A]

So you guys have a real open line communication in this horrible, horrible, you know? Yeah, yeah, this is. You should bring that up and just see what happens.

[C]

Yeah. Hey, I've tried, you know, I tried to tiptoe around it a couple times before, but she just won't come out and say it, you know?

[B]

Yeah, I can't imagine why. Guys are pretty open with each other, you know? You know, cheat or listen.

[C]

It sounds like a perfectly fine, open, you know, open communication relationship at this point, doesn't it?

[A]

You gotta get out of this thing, dude.

[C]

I know, I know, I know. It's just hard sometimes, you know, we've been together so long, it's. It's like the.

[A]

The I don't think you're together, to.

[B]

Be honest, really easy. Actually, your scenario is the best. You live in Florida and she lives Michigan. Michigan. All you have to do is just not text her and then you're good there's no moving out. There's no bumping into her family members at the grocery store. You're just done.

[C]

Well, it sucks that, you know, I wish. Yes and no. So, you know, I have like, what, six or seven of her family members that are actually my clients. Oh, that's the hard part, too. It's like, you know, the risk versus reward. You, you know, you dump that, then there's, you know, residual income out the door.

[B]

Well, then you are not a very good insurance agent if six clients is going to bury you.

[C]

Oh, I know it's not going to bury me.

[B]

It's just, you know, another excuse.

[A]

How much money have you given her over the years?

[C]

Oh, Charlie, I don't. Oh, it's a lot.

[B]

Yes, it's a lot.

[C]

So are you just flat out, like, saying, like, giving, like, hey, here's, here's a thousand bucks, or are you saying.

[B]

Like, total dollar amount? It's the easiest question.

[C]

Oh, I get. Well, I mean, realistically, probably a couple hundred grand.

[B]

She paid for that house in cash with your money, dude.

[A]

A couple hundred grand, and you're worried.

[B]

About losing six clients over this girl?

[C]

Listen, hey, I like, I like to have clients, man. I like to have money coming in, so. But it's also, six clients isn't anything. But it's the simple fact of, you know, they're going to call me.

[B]

You're basically spending like 50 grand a year on this woman.

[C]

I would not be surprised. I bet you if I totaled it.

[B]

Up, you could hire. You could, you could hire like a full time person to do your job for 50 grand. And you're still chilling without her.

[A]

Okay, I know. Let me ask you this.

[B]

You know, you don't have to worry about those six clients if you just stop paying her.

[C]

Either way, it's just the simple fact they're gonna keep calling me. That's the issue, man. You know, it's not the money outside of it. It's more of the.

[B]

Why don't you just do what the playbook and just don't talk about it. When they call you, you don't have to go like, hey, yeah, I cheated on your niece and you, she cheated on me. So what do you need help with in your insurance today? You could just go, hello, what can I help you with today?

[A]

It's as simple as that.

[C]

I mean, I know, man, but you know, they're. They're the. They're the type of people that will keep talking and talking and eventually something's going to come out. But you guys are right, though. I mean, you guys are definitely right.

[A]

Okay, what if you stopped paying her today, you stopped giving her money? Do you think she would continue to be with you?

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, listen, I don't know. Maybe. Charlie, you know, that's a great question.

[A]

Okay. Don't break up with her.

[B]

Not a chance.

[A]

Don't break up with her. Just stop giving her money starting today and call us back when the relationship's over. All right, so it'll be tomorrow? Yeah, it might be. Yeah. Give us a call back tomorrow. How often, like, do you. Did she just ask you for money and you send it? Is it a.

[C]

Like. Oh, no, it's more. No, it's more of just, like, you know, like. So when we live together and everything like that, obviously you didn't have to pay for anything. And then, you know, here and there, just out of me being a nice person, I feel like I send her some money, you know, and then that's.

[B]

Just guilt for cheating on her that you're just trying to buy back.

[C]

Yeah, you're probably right. You're probably right, Miles.

[B]

I mean, you realize you're not in a relationship. She is just your sugar baby, and you are her sugar daddy. It's what I know, man.

[C]

You know, hey, when you say it like that. When you say it like that hurts. So it sings a little bit more.

[B]

Well, it should.

[C]

Oh, man.

[A]

Well, no, try. Try to just not give her money. Just see how long it lasts after that.

[B]

Yeah, that's a good. That's actually a good middle ground.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, because we've been tied to him for how long?

[A]

And it's still. It's just the longer we talk, the more layers we get. And none of them are pointing in the right direction.

[B]

Pointing him to heaven, I can tell you that much.

[A]

Him. I mean, I think a lot of this, honestly, is pointing them back there. He's. He's trying in some ways.

[B]

Yeah, that's true. He's trying to buy his way into heaven with giving her money.

[A]

Indulgences is what we call that.

[C]

Well, so, Char. So Charlie and Miles looking at just, what, in 2024, one month that I have pulled up here. 6,000.

[B]

Yeah, that's. That's like 6,000 more than you should have sent her.

[A]

One month in 2024.

[C]

Yeah, that was in February.

[A]

Oh, my God. Okay. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, you could be spending that money on only fans due to be having a great time. You think you'd be having a way better time.

[C]

I know, I know. Less guilt, probably.

[B]

You could go to the strip club and be a king. Wow.

[C]

Yeah. Pretty sad, right?

[A]

No.

[B]

You know that if you would have taken that 200 grand and invested in the S P 500, in seven years, it could have been 400 grand. And another seven years after could have been 800 grand. Do you know that?

[C]

Yeah, man. Yeah. Trust me.

[B]

We're not just talking about some petty cash laying around. We're talking about your future.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you want to retire or do you not want to retire? You need. If you stay with this gal, you won't be able to retire.

[C]

That's where. That's where it's leading. I feel like that's where it's leading. You know, you work. You work hard, you know, before. I don't say before I was with her because, you know, I started working my. Like, right around the same time that she and I got together. So, you know, you go from not making anything to making good money. And then luckily, I was a little bit smart with money still to where I do have, you know, investments, like you said, with the S P500, 401ks, all that type of stuff. But think about having that 200k putting in bitcoin, you know.

[A]

Just.

[B]

I can't get through to him.

[A]

All right, all right.

[B]

What angle I go at this.

[A]

It's. It's okay. I think we have a game plan. Brady, you're just going to stop giving her money. You're going to be tempted to do it. You're going to think, oh, this will feel good for me right now, only in the short term. In the long term, just keep the money and see how it changes the dynamic of the relationship.

[B]

Yeah, it's kind of. I imagine the money piece is the one piece on the Jenga that if you pull it out, the whole thing will tumble down.

[A]

We'll see. We'll see.

[B]

A. It could be a good, good hypothesis. Yup.

[A]

We're going to run a experiment here, all right? A statistical experiment. And you get to use your. You get to take your work home with you for a little bit. Just mark the day.

[C]

No more work life balance. I see.

[A]

Well, just see how it goes. See how it goes. This is wild, man. Hey, good for you. It's all fun, though. There's no. I mean, she's not taking half your income, you know, which is what would be if you got married and did a divorce.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, that's exactly. Listen, that's. That. That's. That's also going back to the question, are you gonna propose to her soon? That's also in the back of the head there, too.

[A]

So you gotta do this before you get married.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

You propose to her again, I'll drive down to Florida and punch you in the face.

[C]

Oh, come on, Miles.

[B]

I'll take the weekend off. I'll leave my family at home, and I'll drive down there and I'll personally sock you in the schnauzer, Oz.

[A]

That almost be worth him proposing, to be honest. I'll buy the ring, actually.

[C]

Well, let's go get it, Charlie. Let's go do it.

[B]

And is like, wait, what are you doing this weekend?

[A]

Don't worry about it.

[B]

I'm like, I got a work thing. She thinks I'm cheating on her, but really, I'm just going to punch this guy in the face.

[C]

Oh, well, you know, hey, listen, I don't. I. I don't think that it's going to work out in the long term. I'm just a wishful thinker and an optimist, but, you know, really, it's probably doomed. Let's be. Let's be straight there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yep. All right. We got a plan. We're stopping payments today. Are you with me?

[B]

I feel a little bit like Dame Ramsey right now. Is this. Is this the high that Dave Ramsey gets? Yeah, he helps people financially.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, kind of. You know, and then. And then we get the call.

[B]

I want you to stop giving her those payments. All right? What we need to do is we need to build up a security fund because life's going to come at you fast. Want you to take those credit cards that she's got, and I want you to cut them up. Okay? And then after a few months, you got yourself enough to. To get by, then we're going to start investing that, all right?

[C]

Oh, gosh. Oh, gosh. Well, Dave, that's very good advice. I will. I will stop the payment or, you know, sending money to her whenever I feel like it. That's for sure. 100. True. Luckily, she doesn't have any of my cards, which is great. So that is a. That is a positive.

[A]

When was the last time you sent her. When was the last time you sent her money?

[C]

Probably a week. Week and somewhere right around a week and a half.

[A]

How much?

[C]

Oh, give me a second, I'll tell you.

[B]

Is he standing on overpass right now?

[C]

No, I just. Listen, I just ran my last appointment. I'm getting ready. I'm sitting outside of a Circle K. Can't talk and drive, you know.

[A]

Oh, yeah, we appreciate that.

[C]

Oh. So, okay. So it was. It was only. It was only 35 bucks. Nothing crazy, nothing big.

[B]

Okay?

[C]

Just so she can get some Chipotle.

[B]

I want you to just cut her off. I want you to cut her off. She can pay for her own Chipotle, okay?

[C]

Oh, I know.

[B]

Like I said, just disconnect your bank account from your Venmo. Just start there.

[C]

Oh, God. See that? Listen. Yeah, I guess I will. Apple pay. It's more the Apple pay for me.

[B]

Just disconnect at all.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, gosh. Well, here we go. It's off now.

[A]

All right. Good, good. We're on again.

[B]

Is this how Dave Ramsey.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I feel really good.

[A]

You look around 20 miles.

[B]

Got Texan.

[A]

Brady. Good luck, man. Good luck. We are here. We're rooting for you, all right? And if you need. You need to call and let us know how it's going. You just.

[B]

Yeah. Or if you're in a moment of weakness.

[C]

Right when I'm getting ready to hit send, I need to give. Yeah. Have a shout out our direct line, you know?

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Guys, I'm about to spoil my. About to spoil this. About to ruin everything I worked for.

[A]

Just remember where you're mocking it, but.

[B]

That'S exactly what you should do.

[A]

Yeah, I know.

[C]

I should listen. I know I should. I know. I know. But I. Like I said, I'm pretty. I can be pretty dumb sometimes, but.

[A]

Yeah, you need. Brady, you need a little bolt of self confidence right now, all right? So you don't need this in your.

[B]

What.

[A]

What you got to remember is you have a great job. Dude, you have a good enough job that you've blown $200,000 on a girl who cheated on you with a guy named Chase.

[B]

Let's look.

[A]

All right. And you got game.

[B]

You were able to buy one engagement ring.

[A]

Yeah. And you also had sexual intercourse with your choir director, and she was hot. Okay? And yeah, your dad did that too, but that's neither here nor there. All right? So you got game. All right? Don't let anyone tell you. You don't just self confidence. Look yourself in the mirror and say, Maybe not that one, but something that's if you get to heaven. But whatever. You guys sang in choir. What was your main choir song?

[C]

Oh, my. I mean, the most thing that I remember is just the Christmas stuff, dude.

[B]

That.

[C]

It's like ingrained into the my head singing.

[A]

Sing it.

[C]

No, Miles, I mean, pick a song. Pick us. Pick a Christmas song. Let's go.

[A]

Jingle bells.

[C]

Oh. Oh, gosh. Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock.

[B]

So Next time you're going to send money, I want you to start singing Jingle Bells in the mirror. No, just wherever you are, you could be at a fucking Walmart. You got to start singing Jingle Bells. And that'll be your mental cue to not press send on sending her money.

[A]

And I bet you, I bet you, Barry, as you're singing Jingle Bells, there's going to be another gal around there that hears you singing. Here's that little voice of an angel you got there.

[B]

That was good.

[A]

And you're going to start meeting people and they're going to be like, oh.

[B]

He'S rich too, and he has self control that he doesn't just send money to random people, you know?

[A]

Incredible. Sign me up. Yeah, I don't even care what he's packing, you know.

[B]

So you are on the edge of greatness.

[A]

Yes, you are. You're. I hope so.

[B]

You're always on the edge of greatness.

[A]

Let's push it over the edge, Brady, huh?

[C]

Yeah. Well, again, thank you guys for the, for the little nudge there and you know, the little backing to help me, you know, real. Really, I. You guys are totally right. First off, I, I'm just, I'm confused. But it'll be, It'll be something that, you know, having you guys talk.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

Have you guys talking about it and work, you know, walking me through it just gives me that confidence a little bit to actually understand that it's not a. The situation's fudged, obviously, and.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And not gonna help you get into heaven too late. No, I'm just kidding, Brady.

[A]

You were confused. You're not confused anymore. You. Now you see the light.

[C]

Thank you guys for that. I appreciate it so much.

[B]

Just. Yeah, there's, there's. There's some Florida gal just waiting for you.

[A]

Yeah. There's more pretty girls than one. Learn that song.

[C]

There's more pretty girls than one. I'll have to learn that and then come back on and sing it to you guys.

[A]

All right, sounds good. Brady, we're. We're hoping for you. All right.

[C]

I hope so. I appreciate it, guys. You guys have a great day and, and like I said, just, you know, keep, Keep everything up. I love listening to you guys. First off, I, I appreciate you guys. Let me come on and talk for a little bit.

[A]

Hey, man, we appreciate you. You've made quite an episode for us. All right.

[C]

Thank you guys.

[A]

See ya.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Wow. I mean, I think the hell conversation. That's a good.

[B]

I'm addicted to that now.

[A]

I don't think we Would have gotten that. What did they even call in for? Oh, talk about the choir. I mean, which was, like, the third most interesting thing in that whole call.

[B]

Fifth. Maybe, like, top seven.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Jeez.

[A]

Well, good.

[B]

Good.

[A]

I. I feel like he. We actually got through to him.

[B]

I think that we saved his life today.

[A]

Someone saving my life tonight.

[B]

Yeah. How to save a life.

[A]

Oh, I was thinking someone saving my life tonight. Sugar Bell. Sugar Bell. I was not in choir. Actually, I was. Another story.

[B]

I think I said this on his podcast before, but I tried to join choir. So I go on the choir trip, and the teacher told me I had to give lessons before she would let me join the choir.

[A]

Oh, really? Bummer. I didn't need lessons.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I mean, I. I did need lessons, but they didn't make me take them, so.

[B]

Yeah, some.

[A]

That is. Dude, I'm sorry to hear that. You have a nice voice.

[B]

She said she was doing it so that, like. Like, not anyone could just join for the choir tour, which is why I was.

[A]

That's why you were doing it.

[B]

Her filters work great.

[A]

Where was the choir trip that was so great?

[B]

They would go to, like, New York. They would go to Washington, D.C. they would.

[A]

Dude, that's sick. Oh, but.

[B]

But, like, what was also cool is that half of the school was in choir, which is funny that I couldn't get in. Admittance rate was 50, and I couldn't get in. But then there was kind of the week at school without all the. Without half of the school was also kind of fun.

[A]

Oh, pretty chill. Yeah. Because you can't do anything, so you guys just get to watch movies and stuff.

[B]

Yeah, Grinch. It's always around Christmas time, too.

[A]

Yeah. Home Alone, too.

[B]

Home alone 2.

[A]

Hell, yeah, dude.

[B]

I think home alone 1.

[A]

Die Hard.

[B]

See, Die Hard.

[A]

Santa Claus. What's Santa Claus?

[B]

Arnold Schwarzenegger. 1.

[A]

Jingle all the Way.

[B]

All the Way. Just saw the classics.

[A]

Super classics. Did you say the Grinch? Yeah.

[B]

Christmas with the Craigs.

[A]

Christmas with the. Yeah.

[B]

Four Christmases.

[A]

Nightmare Before Christmas. Yeah, that's it.

[B]

Airbud Christmas edition.

[A]

Was there an airbud Christmas? We should watch that if there was. Well, should we take another caller? Miles.

[C]

Hey, guys, My Name's Jordan and 30 from Texas. I need to know y' all guys opinion on men wearing flip flops and blue jeans. Partially think it's the dumbest in the world. Thank you, guys. Have a great day and keep your bartender.

[B]

Well, one, thank you for elaborating on why you think that they suck.

[A]

Yeah, it's the dumbest shit he's ever seen.

[B]

The question, first off the bat, Charlie, have you worn flip fluff with blue jeans?

[A]

Of course I have. Of course I have.

[B]

Very popular in the 2000s.

[A]

Yeah, it's. It was. I mean, early 2000s, somewhere around there. Is that what you're thinking? The flip flop blue jean days.

[B]

It was like. It was right when the reef flip flops with the bottle opener on the bottom were popular.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I remembered having older cousins that would come to family functions at the lake with those flip flops, and they thought they were the hottest.

[A]

Well, they were, man.

[B]

And then my uncle's minds were blown when he's like, wait, there's a. There's a bottle opener and your flip flop.

[A]

Also, flip flop might be the worst shoe to put a bottle opener.

[B]

Inconvenient.

[A]

Yeah. Just no leverage. You get there. Yeah, I. I think it's. It's not an ideal situation, stylistically. I'm not sure what part of the world you really. I think the Midwest is probably where that comes the most because you got this kind of like, you're not wearing shorts with the flip flops. You know, you're going jeans. So what would the situation be? Honestly, the times I've done it the most, I couldn't find my shoes. So I would do the flip flops. Yeah, that. That'd be about it.

[B]

But, yeah, I would. Like. For me, it was like a. If I'm on, like a tropical vacation or like somewhere warm. But you're going out to dinner.

[A]

Ah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like, you're not gonna pack dress shoes to go to this thing, right? Yeah. Wear flip flops with jeans and a button up.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And it goes. You know, I. I mean, I. Yeah.

[B]

I try to avoid it. I don't think it's like a fatal thing for your social.

[A]

You know, I mean, down there in Texas, it sounds like it. You know, that's a guy who's wearing cowboy boots. You can tell? You can tell.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I. You know what I have a hard time with? I have a hard time with, you know, seeing people wearing all the. The really baggy stuff. I'm gonna sound like an old man here, you know, but I. I'm old enough to see the trends, and I know that's just gonna be stupid Five.

[B]

Years down this road.

[A]

We've been down there. Yeah. I've looked at pictures of me wearing the stuff that's popular right now, being like, I already know I'm just gonna be ahead of the fashion curb at this point.

[B]

You could have also kept it all and made a pretty penny by selling it.

[A]

I kept some of it and I still wear it.

[B]

Now's the time to sell.

[A]

Now's the time to sell.

[B]

Oh, you still wear it?

[A]

Yeah, I still have a pair of jeans from back then. Yeah, they were. They're work jeans now. You know, they got a bunch of paint and stuff on them, which honestly, that's fashionable too, I guess.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, what's worse than flip flops with jeans?

[B]

I think flip flops and jeans is pretty good. Like check repellent.

[A]

Is it? I didn't know the gals. So the fella is not a fan of it. The gals aren't fans of it.

[B]

Yeah. It's like, this is kind of funny observation. Super blue collar farm guys, whatever. And chicks are kind of the same.

[A]

Okay, that's. Yeah. Okay, got it.

[B]

Because chicks think that like crocs and flip flops with jeans are tacky and, you know, and super like, I work on a ranch. Guys also think that that's disgusting.

[A]

Yeah. Of like, that's the most impractical thing. One thinks it's impractical, the other thinks it's ugly.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Yeah. And sometimes. That's an interesting Venn diagram of opinions there. Yeah.

[B]

Ran guys who work cowboys and chicks. And in the middle is flip flops and jeans. Hating flip flops and jeans and crocs.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, Crocs. Yeah.

[B]

Shout out to all the women out there that like crocs.

[A]

Let's go sport mode. Hey, guys, listen, let us know what your pet peeves are stylistically in the comments below. Do we do that on podcasts?

[B]

Yeah, we could. Can we do a poll maybe too? Jared's like, I don't know, just something about are we in on flip flops and jeans or not? And are they going to make a comeback?

[A]

Everything makes a comeback, man. It's. It's like, you know, razor scooters are, you know, I see one right over there, the non battery operated ones. Those will make a comeback, I think, you know, people start doing tricks again on scooters and not just whipping shitties on them. You know, don't you see the scooters going through your downtown with just the big old black streaks, you know, because people are whipping shitties. But I feel like, you know, the little, little little wheel scooters are going to come back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And people are going to ride them with flip flops in their jeans anyways. Well, Miles, this was a fun episode.

[B]

So it's fun episode.

[A]

I mean, we went to places I didn't think we'd go. Sometimes you get an onion collar, and that's what we had today. Yeah, and you just pull back.

[B]

Is that why your breast stinks?

[A]

Does my breast smell? Oh, that was an onion joke. It does also smell. I'm gonna go get some. I'm gonna go get some gum, you guys. And make sure you tip your bartender.

[B]

We'll see you in the next one.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Hope you guys have a good one. Goodbye, now.