Nicole and Sasheer are the Creamy Sisters

Summary

Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata Episode: "Nicole and Sasheer are the Creamy Sisters" – March 25, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this laugh-filled episode, Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata—self-dubbed "the Creamy Sisters"—lean all the way into their signature blend of absurdity, friendship insights, and relatable real-life quandaries. The two discuss everything from thrifting adventures and the woes of fast fashion, hilarious language learning fails, and niche transportation preferences, to the intricacies of friendship breakups and the challenges of maintaining relationships over time. The episode is a rich tapestry of comedic storytelling, real talk about the entertainment industry, and sage, if slightly chaotic, advice.

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Major Discussion Points

The "Creamy Sisters" Uniform & Thrift Store Finds

[00:14-01:39]

• Nicole and Sasheer kick off by discussing their matching cream outfits.
• Nicole recounts, "I found this shirt in a goodwill for, like $2. I was like, look at God" (00:47).
• They joke about being "dangerous in cream" because it's so prone to stains, sparking memories of working in retail and horrifying customer returns.

Retail Waste & Fast Fashion Depressions

[02:12-05:21]

• Nicole tells a gross but funny story about returned pants at Lane Bryant.
• The conversation shifts to retail waste, with reflections on why companies slash/destroy returns instead of donating them.
• Sasheer laments, "It's really depressing how much corporations trash their products" (03:20).
• Both discuss the sad future of thrift stores dominated by fast fashion items.

Vintage Furniture Crimes & Social Media Trends

[05:21-05:41]

• Nicole bemoans, "the bad side of Instagram," where people paint over vintage furniture or ruin it with gold leaf for clout (05:32).

Pop Culture Catch-Ups: Little Mix, Language Learning, and The Office

[05:47-09:29]

• Nicole shares her new obsession with Jade from Little Mix.
• She updates Sasheer on her Rosetta Stone Spanish lessons and contemplates learning via Spanish-language versions of her favorite shows (like "The Office: Mexico").
• Both reflect on learning languages through TV, debating the effectiveness of subtitles.
• Notable exchange:
  • Nicole: “2026 is the year I enrich myself with activities and things that I do that are good for me.” (09:27)

Movie + TV Talk: The Comeback, Sopranos, and Industry Realities

[18:19-20:17]

• Nicole gushes about her Sopranos t-shirt: "It says family redefined. And I love wearing it. Such a good show" (17:58).
• They dive into the realities of working as actors, recalling moments when lines are cut and how that impacts one's self-esteem.
• Sasheer’s insight: "Being an actor is not for people who are incredibly sensitive. It's a mean fucking business." (26:29)

The Business: Generals, Auditions & Career Hurdles

[26:54-30:44]

• Both describe the frustration of general meetings ("generals") in the industry, pitching themselves with little result.
• They joke about treating these meetings as opportunities to "brighten someone's day" and be remembered for a funny moment, even if nothing comes of it.

Dream TV Show Time Travel

[30:44-33:56]

• Nicole asks Sasheer: If you could time travel onto any show, what would it be?
  • Sasheer: "Fresh Prince seemed really fun." (30:51)
• Nicole’s picks include "Living Single" and all the Mary-Kate and Ashley solo movies, plus "Entourage" and "Sex and the City."
• Inserted trivia: Mary-Kate’s last role was in "Beastly." They jokingly dissect the “up and comer from Magic Mike, who didn’t go anywhere” (33:32)—revealed to be Alex Pettyfer.

Rejections & TV Fandom

[35:17-36:15]

• Nicole shares they both auditioned for Netflix’s "You" but didn’t land roles, recalling strange and wild scenes from the pilot.

Reality TV: The Traitors & Representation

[37:07-38:26]

• Nicole vents about "The Traitors" eliminating all Black contestants early on: “In February. It's our month. We can't have nothing.” (38:15)
• They riff on international Black History Month timing (39:04–39:31), listing months celebrated in various countries.

Black Inventors & Unsung Acheivements

[39:31-41:00]

• Quickfire listing of Black inventors’ accomplishments—Super Soaker, the traffic light, security alarm systems, etc.—with the caveat, “I could be lying… it sounds like a story that would happen to a Black man” (39:51).

Friendship Advice: Listener Letters

[45:00-end]

• Nicole and Sasheer answer multiple audience questions:
  • Ghosting New Friendships: They agree ghosting is acceptable with weak connections. Nicole jokes, “You go, you don’t challenge me intellectually… Your brain is just nothing. It’s a basketball cut in half with air. You dumb. And then you go pop, pop, pop. And you hit him.” (46:46)
  • Cheating Co-worker in Friend Group: Both advise phasing out or shrinking group hangouts when morals clash ("Devin's bad. Hang out with Kim and Sarah. And maybe Peter." (51:04-51:11))
  • Lopsided Friendships & Money Issues: They recommend open communication—venting about always paying and only being contacted for favors—and being honest about feeling underappreciated.
  • Long-Distance Friendship That’s Fading: Suggest a phone call or sending light, pressure-free texts (e.g., "No need to respond―just thinking of you") rather than overinterpreting distance. Nicole adds, "Maybe she's doing a bunch of local crying, you know, crying in her local spots locally, and she can't do the long distance on the phone crying." (60:35)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• [00:47] Nicole: “I found this shirt in a goodwill for, like $2. I was like, look at God.”
• [02:38] Nicole: “You fudged up these white pants with your nasty, sticky, fudgy fingers.”
• [03:20] Sasheer: “It really is depressing how much corporations trash their products…”
• [09:27] Nicole: “2026 is the year I enrich myself with activities and things that I do that are good for me.”
• [26:29] Nicole: “Being an actor is not for people who are incredibly sensitive. It's a mean fucking business.”
• [38:15] Nicole: “In February. It’s our month. We can’t have nothing.”
• [46:46] Nicole (on ghosting): “You go, you don’t challenge me intellectually… Your brain is just nothing. It’s a basketball cut in half with air. You dumb. And then you go pop, pop, pop. And you hit him.”
• [54:01] Nicole (joking): “Well, I've been holding this in. I'm playing Storm.”
• [60:35] Nicole: “Maybe she's doing a bunch of like local crying, you know, crying in her local spots locally, and she can't do the long distance on the phone crying.”

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Highlighted Segments with Timestamps

• Creamy Sisters & fashion stains: [00:14–02:12]
• Retail waste & fast fashion woes: [02:12–05:21]
• Language learning shenanigans: [06:19–09:29]
• Actor angst & industry reality: [25:25–30:44]
• Dream time-travel TV roles: [30:44–33:56]
• TV show rejection stories: [35:17–36:15]
• Friendship advice letters (& chaos): [45:00–end]

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Tone & Vibe

Nicole and Sasheer’s signature tone—a blend of off-the-wall humor, earnest warmth, and improvisational candor—remains consistent throughout. They riff off each other’s stories and bits, pivoting from jokes to sincere advice with authentic chemistry. Even their critiques and rants are delivered with laughter and friendship at the core, making listeners feel like part of the Creamy Sisterhood.

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Final Words

The episode is a quintessential dose of Nicole and Sasheer: part sitcom, part life coaching, part chaotic group chat. Whether they’re reminiscing about wild returns at Lane Bryant, helping listeners navigate complex friendships, or manifesting themselves into sitcom history, they deliver a uniquely honest, vulnerable, and hilarious hour.

“Well, the creamy sisters really got to the bottom of the case. Oh, boy. It's the end of the episode.” (57:57)

Transcript

[Host]

This is a headgum podcast.

[Nicole Byer]

Hello, Creamy Sister.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, hello, Creamy Sister.

[Nicole Byer]

The Creamy sisters are here.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They're out today.

[Nicole Byer]

And this is the exact outfit you wore when I said, I love cream on cream. And then this little onesie I bought.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

And then I was like, I'm gonna

[Nicole Byer]

dye it purple because I don't really wear cream, but I've left it alone to become a creamy sister.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And, like, it's almost the exact same cream as the shirt that you got. I know, it's really good.

[Nicole Byer]

I found this shirt in a goodwill for, like $2. I was like, look at God.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Look at God.

[Nicole Byer]

And then our hats. Not a creamy sister thing. Cause they're, I think, more white.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

But they were a gift from Herman Miller.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Because I love chairs.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And we talk about them a lot on the show.

[Nicole Byer]

Chairs.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And so we were gifted all these chair hats for everybody involved with the show. Now I've got one. Nice. Yeah, it's very nice.

[Nicole Byer]

I like it.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

But we are gonna take them off.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Take them off. Because I look like a little kid when I have a hat like this.

[Nicole Byer]

You almost said a cap.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I did.

[Nicole Byer]

It's a cap.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think it's a cap.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, it's a baseball cap.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Baseball.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

I feel dangerous in cream.

[Nicole Byer]

It is risky because I'm always touching my face and I'm like, oh, what if I get brown smudges on it? And then people don't assume it's makeup.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You think people. What do you think people are gonna think?

[Nicole Byer]

They might be like, oh, she'd be

[Host]

all over.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I feel like if it's like, like near your butt, people be like, that's it on your chest. I think they'll be like, oh, maybe it's makeup or food.

[Nicole Byer]

She didn't wipe you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

She used her hand and didn't wipe it off.

[Nicole Byer]

When I probably have told this story, but when I worked at Lane Bryant, a plus size lady store, fat lady store, whatever you want to call it, A woman returned jeans with brown, like, smudges on the side. And it truly looked like she ate with her hands. A bunch of fudge. And then was like, I don't have a napkin. No, these pants are dirty. And then brought them right back to us.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, no.

[Nicole Byer]

And when I worked there, we had a policy where you just took everything back. And I was like, you fudged up these white pants.

[Sasheer Zamata]

She really did.

[Nicole Byer]

With your nasty, sticky, fudgy fingers. That was a fudgy person.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And.

[Nicole Byer]

And return them, and I have to take them back.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, my God. And then what Happened to the clothes that were given back.

[Nicole Byer]

So I believe we damaged them. So you put a little ticket on it that says this is damaged. Don't put it back out on the

[Sasheer Zamata]

floor and then throw it away.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. I think I. I think we sent it. I. I think they got sent back to corporate.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

But I'm. I'm saying simply not sure.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's really. It really is depressing how much corporations trash their products because it's like, old or they didn't sell on the floor, and then they, like, cut up bags or, like, mark on things and they just put it in a dumpster.

[Nicole Byer]

It's nuts.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I've seen so many videos of people who, like, dumpster dive and they'll be like, oh, my God, like, all of these Victoria's Secret bras and stuff.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

And like, oh, there's like slashed and

[Nicole Byer]

cut in half and you can't. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Which is. I don't understand why they can't donate stuff. Like, wouldn't it also be a tax write off for them? Just be like, oh, we donate all these bras to women shelters? Or like.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I don't know. Or repurpose them. Don't slash them.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Use the material again. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Bring them back next season. It's a bra.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't understand that.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And yeah, wouldn't that. I guess I don't know how much fabric costs or, like, how much leather or anything costs. But, like, I also am, like, wouldn't that save them money to, like, undo the fabric and reuse it for something else? One would think, but maybe not.

[Nicole Byer]

Maybe it's like, things are. They charge so much that they. They include how much it costs to get rid of stuff. I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They don't know.

[Nicole Byer]

We gotta get a CEO up in here.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

CEO?

[Nicole Byer]

Explain this to me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I wonder if they even know.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

Probably not.

[Nicole Byer]

I went to a Salvation Army, a new one that was open, and they were having a wild sale. All the clothing was $2. Wow. But they didn't have nothing. Oh, it was all kind of garbage clothing. Like, fast fashion garbage clothing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And I was like, oh, this is. This is what's. Yeah. I don't know. 50 years from now, that might be all that's in thrift stores.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, that's so depressing.

[Nicole Byer]

The furniture, it's gonna be all ikea.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Because we're, like, running out of actual vintage things because they're either getting destroyed or, like, you know, worn over time. People are buying them and Then we

[Nicole Byer]

got these people on Instagram, the bad side of Instagram, where they're painting them gray and writing scripts and stuff on them and putting gold leaf on vintage things.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's so. It makes me really sad. Yeah, makes me really sad.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

I've been listening to a lot of Jade.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know Jade from Little Mix or Mix. What is it? Little Mix. Little Mix.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I never listened to Little Mix. And I can't remember who. Maybe it was my friend John. My friend John Mason, who lives in Australia. I think we were listening to her when he came to visit last. And I really liked one of the songs. And then I was like, what's that lady's name? And I asked him, and then I just put on the Essentials playlist on Apple Music. And I've been having a nice time.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Ooh, that's fun.

[Nicole Byer]

Also, did we talk about this last episode about me learning Spanish with Rosetta Stone?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I mean, you kind of mentioned. I don't know if we went in depth.

[Nicole Byer]

I found some Learn Spanish in the car things like, you play it like

[Sasheer Zamata]

the program is for you to listen to it in the car. Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

And it's like 15 minute Spanish lesson. 10 minute Spanish lesson.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I want that.

[Nicole Byer]

It's nice.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm trying to think if I retained a single thing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. Excuse me. Yes. Repidio.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You're like, repeat yourself.

[Nicole Byer]

I think. I think that's what I said. Or that's what I was trying to say. Excuse me, can you repeat that? Oh, wait, I think I'm saying can. Wrong. Puedescupe Perez per. Wait.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Puedes.

[Nicole Byer]

Puedes repito.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I think. Yeah. Sounds good to me.

[Nicole Byer]

El mujer corre

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

la.

[Nicole Byer]

Oops. El hombre corre la mujeres cor. The women run.

[Sasheer Zamata]

The women run and don't they run?

[Nicole Byer]

Don't they run?

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's cool. Yeah, I want to listen to Spanish in the car. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I've been trying because I. There's no way I can just immerse myself. I don't have that many Spanish speaking people in my life, but I do have a couple. And Poonam, I was talking to Poonam, who's pretty conversational, and she was like,

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

oh, maybe we, like, hang out and

[Nicole Byer]

just try to talk Spanish to one another. And I was like, that might be fun.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Definitely.

[Nicole Byer]

I do that with Mateo sometimes until I go, I'm so sorry.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's the end of that. I don't.

[Nicole Byer]

I can't. My brain. Yeah, it's too much.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I can understand A bit. But when it comes to saying it out loud, my brain gets really stuck. And I'm like, oh, And I just

[Nicole Byer]

saw a trailer for the new shit. I wish I could remember what it's called, but. It's the Office. But Mexico. It's like a Mexican version of the Office.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And I was like, you love the Office.

[Nicole Byer]

Did you know it's funny?

[Sasheer Zamata]

People have been saying that.

[Nicole Byer]

It's so funny. I could not believe I watched it, like, three years ago because I was dating this guy who was like, you've never seen the Office? And I was like, yeah, I've never seen it. And everyone's always been like, you've never seen. And then we sat down and watched it. I was like, steve Carell is going to be a star.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Do they know?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Do they.

[Nicole Byer]

Do they all know? Like, this is crazy. But, yeah, they remade it. And I was like, oh, maybe that'll be the. The fun thing. I watch in Spanish.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's smart.

[Nicole Byer]

And try to learn from that. Because a lot of people who've learned English learned it by, like, watching Friends and shit like that. But then I'm like, do I watch it with subtitles or. No, this.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't know.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't know. Yeah. I've also heard people learn languages through tv. But I'm also like, how. Because I have watched things with subtitles, like Korean things or French things or whatever. I don't feel like I've picked up anything.

[Nicole Byer]

No, but maybe it's because you're not watching it on, like, repeatedly. You're not watching your favorite show every day. Yeah, but I gotta figure out if I gotta watch it with subtitles or not.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, This I don't know.

[Nicole Byer]

Can you look that up? Ali, do you mind? 2026 is the year I enrich myself with activities and things that I do that are good for me.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Nice.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What are that. What was that Kylie Jenner quote? Like, this year's about realizing things.

[Nicole Byer]

God, that's funny.

[Host]

Okay, so using English subtitles while watching Spanish TV is useful for beginners to grasp context, but it's generally recommended to switch to Spanish subtitles or no subtitles as soon as possible to maximize language acquisition.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Ooh.

[Nicole Byer]

Ooh. Okay, okay. All right.

[Sasheer Zamata]

All right.

[Nicole Byer]

Well, it's gonna be one of them things where I can't be on my phone.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You have to really pay attention.

[Nicole Byer]

When I'm at home, I watch things like. And I'm playing on my phone as well. Yeah. Or like, doing other things.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Most people are.

[Nicole Byer]

That's why I love the movies.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I have to sit and I have to watch.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Although that doesn't stop some people.

[Nicole Byer]

We went.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We saw Jurassic park, and there were these. These teens, loud teens on their phones. It's like, go home. Go home.

[Nicole Byer]

Go to a mall. We're at the mall. We're at the mall.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

Enjoy the mall. Go out there and be on your

[Nicole Byer]

phone and hang out. My God.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I tried to learn Japanese in my car in high school, but I didn't have air conditioning, so I'd have to roll the window down in my car, and it'd be like. And I could actually hear what the tape was saying. So I didn't get very far.

[Nicole Byer]

You didn't get very far?

[Sasheer Zamata]

No.

[Nicole Byer]

That's really funny. You're just in a wind tunnel being like, konichiwa.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. It was cassettes. And the only cassette player I had was in my car.

[Nicole Byer]

You know, my boombox.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't remember having a boombox.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Or I must have had another way to play tapes at some point. But also, like, I think that era was like, CDs were actually the thing, but this specific deck of. Of of language instruction was on cassettes. And. And that's.

[Nicole Byer]

God, that's so funny.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

You're like, I have to get in my car. But it's so hot.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's so hot and loud.

[Nicole Byer]

I really miss my CD cassette player.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

It was like a pearl purple. Purple, but, like, with a little. A little attitude, a little shimmer to it. And I loved it. I wore it out.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I was listening to Lil Kim, the Notorious Kim, that album where she's got, like, her little pants open. It says Notorious. Oh, I listened to that on Rebee. Oh, good memories of that boombox.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I had a radio on my bike, like, in between the handlebars. All the kids wanted to ride with me.

[Nicole Byer]

Whoa.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Bike gang. Little bike, like, crew that would, like, ride with me, and we'd listen to whatever was playing on the radio.

[Nicole Byer]

That's really fucking cool. Did you do that? Did you, like.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, it came like that.

[Nicole Byer]

I've never seen a bike with a radio in it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't remember what brand of bike it was, but it was like, that was. Could have probably Huffy. I don't know.

[Nicole Byer]

That was the big brand.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. And, yeah, we just bought it like that. And it was pink and green, I think, or yellow. And. Yeah, all the kids loved it.

[Nicole Byer]

Wow. Your radio brought all the kids to the yard.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Definitely.

[Nicole Byer]

I have a bike currently.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

It's a purple bike. It's got a basket. I put Clyde in it. I've ridden it maybe three times. And I'm like. And it's an electric bike.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh.

[Nicole Byer]

I could be zoom, zooming. But I need to get a helmet.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You do need to get a helmet. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

That's what's really been holding me back, because I don't want to order a helmet. I got to go to the helmet store and get a feel. Where's the helmet store?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I. I'm sure there is one. Where is it? I'm sure they're real. You have to Google it.

[Nicole Byer]

Where's the helmet store?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Just, like, look it up and you'll find it.

[Nicole Byer]

You're probably right.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And there's really cute helmets, too. There's, like, ones that look like those old school, like, motorcycle helmets have, like, a little, like, kind of like lip or what do you call, like, a bill? Oh, I'm sure you get a purple one.

[Nicole Byer]

Maybe I'll get one of those.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I also really want a moped because my motorcycle dreams are dashed because it was so hard to learn how to ride.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And apparently a moped's a little easier to control. You do look so dumb because you're just, like, sitting.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But you're safer.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

You are a little safer.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And some of them are really pretty.

[Nicole Byer]

But I'm like, I can't move back into faster bicycles until I ride the bicycle I already fucking have.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's true.

[Nicole Byer]

Shaking my dang head.

[Sasheer Zamata]

She loves modes of transportation.

[Nicole Byer]

I really do. I love a boat. I love the train. I love it. I don't love planes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But you're on them a lot.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm on them a lot. So it is a special interest. Cars. Love a car. I think the Honda Preludes out. I think. Ellie, can you look that up? Because I gotta get in one. Oh, I gotta test drive one. Yeah. Oh, I love a prelude. The old ones, they're so. Ugh. The design, it's nice. It's a. It's like a longer coupe.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

Ever since I was a little girl,

[Nicole Byer]

I've loved a longer coupe.

[Host]

Yes. It's on.

[Nicole Byer]

I got to get to a Honda dealership.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You got to.

[Nicole Byer]

Happy Honda days. Is that a Honda thing?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think around the holidays, every day

[Nicole Byer]

is a Honda day if you drive a Honda. That's true. I do love those car commercials where it's like a big bow and a car in the driveway, and it's like, y' all didn't talk. Nobody to you surprise somebody with a car.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, that is that. Yeah. I don't know how I feel if my partner got a.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

Well, I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I guess if you don't share finances, if you're not. If you're not like sharing a. A joint fund and it's like their money and your money and they choose to use their money to buy you a car, I guess that's okay. But I would be like, wow. Yeah. No, I actually, I would be like. Because if, you know, I probably be like, couldn't we use that on the house or travel or, like, you know, anything else? I would have wanted to talk about it first. And it's like. And then also, like, you just bought me this car.

[Nicole Byer]

Like you didn't ask.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hopefully it's because I said I wanted that specific car. But they're so. To me, I feel like they're so personal. Like, you can't just know what someone wants unless they say it out loud.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. But then also, you're not gonna like, get all of the things that they want.

[Sasheer Zamata]

All the features. Yes. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I had a friend, we were car shopping together, and all he wanted was an SUV with cup holders that were horizontal. Like this, not like that in the backseat.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's really funny.

[Nicole Byer]

And I said to them, you'll never be in the backseat. What does it matter? But every car we looked at where it was not the orientation he wanted, he'd be like, no, I don't even want to test drive it. I was like, all right. After Tony Soprano and Carmela get back together, spoiler. He gets her a Porsche.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And did she like it?

[Nicole Byer]

She loved it. She loved all the gifts Tony got her. Tony was so badly behaved, but then would come home with like a mink coat or like rings or something.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I love the Sopranos. I got a Soprano shirt that it's all the main male characters and it says family redefined. And I love wearing it. Such a good show.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I really think you should try to finish it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

It is.

[Nicole Byer]

You gotta dedicate some time because each episode's like 45 minutes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Mm.

[Nicole Byer]

And then they're long ass seasons. Yeah. Mm.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Mm.

[Nicole Byer]

But you're gonna have a nice time. Everybody acts wild.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. I'm watching the comeback right now and it's so funny.

[Nicole Byer]

So, so funny. I watched the first season. There's two seasons out there.

[Sasheer Zamata]

The third one's coming out this year in March. Yeah, I'm very excited.

[Nicole Byer]

I gotta watch that second season. Cause I watched the first one and it was so funny to me. Ugh.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Also, like, I don't. I think it's like, funny for everybody, but, like, it's a little cathartic to me as an actress, like, seeing, I guess, just all the ins and outs of her. Her brain and her insecurities of like, you know, a younger actress getting more lines than her in the scene or like, like being being dressed in a costume that's like, doesn't fit her body or it's just like, it's so funny. There's so many small specifics that I hope is, like, you know, understandable to, like, everybody else. But I, like, as an actress, like, I really get this.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. I've been in costumes where I'm like, I look like a potato. I simply look very, very bad.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And they.

[Nicole Byer]

They're like, action. And you're like, okay, well, I was in one. One scene of something where it was two fabrics. There's a shirt and maybe a skirt, but the two fabrics were really slippery, so the shirt kept rolling up and the skirt kept rolling down. And I was like, I just. And I couldn't get a safety pin fast enough. So I just have a pillow over my stomach area. Like I was pregnant. Like hiding a pregnancy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, boy.

[Nicole Byer]

We should take a break.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

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[Nicole Byer]

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[Sasheer Zamata]

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[Nicole Byer]

Wow, we're back. Sometimes when you're on a job and like a character has more lines and you're like, huh? Did they not like, like when it changes?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

And you're like, oh, so you took, you took away from me and gave to. So that is that person. They're better. They're better.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Which also like, it never has anything to do with you.

[Nicole Byer]

No.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Or sometimes it does, but it is like most of the time it doesn't. But happened to me recently, I had like two lines in a scene and they took one of my lines away and gave it to a guy and I was like, what? What happened? But it's just like they just wanted it more ping pongy. But it wasn't like I wasn't delivering the joke well.

[Nicole Byer]

It was just like they wanted me to have one and him to have

[Sasheer Zamata]

one, but I was like, I only

[Nicole Byer]

had two and now I only have one. And if you edit it interestingly, I could have none. Exactly.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

Being an actor is

[Nicole Byer]

not for people who are incredibly sensitive. It's a mean fucking business.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You have to have a thick skin.

[Nicole Byer]

Truly, truly thick. Especially when you're like pitching something and you're like, boy, they loved that. And then you hear back and they're like, we don't want that. And you're like, okay. It seemed like you did. Okay, cool.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I like had a conversation recently with my manager about general, which are a meeting.

[Nicole Byer]

A general is okay. I am an executive at a television network.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

So what do you want to be doing?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I want to be acting and directing and writing and maybe producing. But yeah, I'm just like, yeah, so

[Nicole Byer]

just tell them I'll take that call.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, yeah. I like, you know, executing other people's vision, but I also really want to get my vision out there and. Yes. Yeah. Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

So if we find something for you, this has been really great. If we find something for you, we'll let you know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay. Yeah.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Do you know about when or can

[Nicole Byer]

I have a milkshake?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't like them. And she was like, maybe we can, like, set some up. And I was like, I don't think my self esteem can take it. I just. Because it feels like a date, kind of. But I'm also doing a show where I'm also selling myself. And then they. We have a great time and then leave. And they're like, no, I have nothing for you. And I'm like, why did I waste my time? Why did I come in? Why did we spend a whole lunch to do this thing?

[Nicole Byer]

My favorite thing to do is when they're like, what do you want to be doing? I go, oh, no. Well, it's an answer you've heard before. I wanna act. And they're always like, ha, ha, ha ha. We don't have a thing for you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, you wanna act? We can't help you.

[Nicole Byer]

We can't help you. Yeah, it is one of. I've started looking at generals and just meetings as, hey, I'm gonna brighten their day. They're gonna tell someone later a funny thing I said, and then they'll forget about me in a week. But for at least 24 hours, I'm gonna be memorable to them.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, that's a good way to think about it.

[Nicole Byer]

I was working on something, and right before we went for it,

[Sasheer Zamata]

one of

[Nicole Byer]

the producers was like, you ready? Don't mess it up. And I was like, oh, don't say that. Why would you do that? Yeah, it blew me away. And then I was so in my head, oh, no. But then, like, on, like, a different line, I was like, wait a minute, I'm gonna have fun. And that way I can't mess it up because I'm having fun.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, good.

[Nicole Byer]

So that's how. Yeah, I'm just. I'm out here doing things for me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think that is how it works. I think it's, like, how it should be. Tell you things that I like was like, I don't know, I. I liked it. That's when it, like, someone else is like, I like it too.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I agree. Anytime I've done an audition where I'm like, I think this is what they want. I did one audition, and then on the callback, they were like, all right, this is a great audition. That's why you're at the callback. And I was like, yes. And they were like, okay. So everything you did great, truly, actually made sense. The way the scene is written the scene's not written right for the character. The character is somebody different. So here's what we want you to do that's fully different. And I was like, oh, this could have been an email beforehand.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Beforehand, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my Lord.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Throw this at me.

[Nicole Byer]

They threw so much at me. Oh, boy. And then we did it and they were like, okay, there's just like a little bit left over from what you were doing. Because when you do a callback, you're

[Sasheer Zamata]

like, they liked what I did. Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

And boy, oh, boy was that. I like got home and was like, huh, I'm bad.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But then I was like, no, they

[Nicole Byer]

just didn't want you. And that's okay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sometimes it's just like they want something else. Yes. And it's not you.

[Nicole Byer]

If you could time travel and be on any show from back in the day, what would it be?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Ooh, Fresh Prince seemed really fun.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Or

[Sasheer Zamata]

Family Matters. And they were long running shows. They were, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I mean, Family Matters ran so long that Urkel went to space.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's the natural progression. You go to high school, college, you get married, you go to space.

[Nicole Byer]

You go to space. He went to. I think they changed networks and he went to space. And I think Harriet left.

[Sasheer Zamata]

She did? Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't think I watched those, those the last, the later seasons.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I didn't get that.

[Nicole Byer]

When I left tgif, I was like, huh. Well, can't follow it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't know where. I don't know how to get.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. I don't know what channel.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

If I could time travel, I would really love to be Fresh Prince is a really fun one. Living Single is another fun one.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

Any Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen project.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Winning London is. Is one of my top ones. Winning London is so good.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't know.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Winning London.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay, here's the thing. So Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. Hot off Full House. Yes. Do the Adventures of Mary Kate and Ashley where they're super duper snoopers, they'll solve your crime before dinner time. And then they moved on to doing full length movies. And the way they decided to do these movies is I think Billboard dad takes place here, but then they go to Paris. They go to Passport to Paris and then they just take vacation. I feel like they like picked where they're going to shoot the movie based on where they were going on vacation.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So nice.

[Nicole Byer]

And I was like, this is fucking genius. Yeah. Holiday in the Sun. That's in Australia. Ooh, Winning London. Guess where. London.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And are they the Same characters or are they different characters in each movie?

[Nicole Byer]

Technically, they're different characters, but one is straight laced Ashley, and then one is loosey goosey Mary Kate always.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

They never switched.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't think they did. In Grandmother's house. We go. That's a good one. Doyle and Toilen. Toilen. Toilet, Toilet.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Double trouble. Hey, it's okay. It's okay. You got a little excited.

[Nicole Byer]

I got so excited I couldn't say the tongue twister. Ugh. New York minute is great. Eugene Levy's in it. Killing it. Yeah, he's gonna be a star.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Good things are gonna happen. That guy.

[Nicole Byer]

I haven't seen Beastly, which is Mary Kate's last performance on screen.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What's it called?

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

Beastly.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, sounds scary.

[Nicole Byer]

A modern retelling of Beauty and the Beast. And I believe Vanessa Hudgens is in it. And I believe the beast is played

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

by that up and comer from Magic

[Nicole Byer]

Mike, who didn't go anywhere because he was difficult on set. From what I heard from the tabloids.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, I don't know who. Who that is.

[Nicole Byer]

I can't remember his name.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, was he, like, the young guy?

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, the one young guy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, he did. Yeah. He really did come and go.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. I think he was, like, hard to work with on set. True. I think that's what, like, the tabs were saying.

[Sasheer Zamata]

The trades.

[Nicole Byer]

The trades. That's what I think.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Well, that's unfortunate.

[Nicole Byer]

Mm.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

What's his name?

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

Alex.

[Host]

Yeah, Alex Pettyfer.

[Nicole Byer]

Mm. Has he been in Anything recently?

[Host]

In 2024, he was in a action movie called the Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, okay.

[Nicole Byer]

And the Sopranos. I'd love to go back in time and figure out how to get on the Sopranos.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm sure even though they don't really

[Nicole Byer]

like black people on that show, maybe

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

you're the one that they do like.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes, yes.

[Nicole Byer]

I believe David Chase is the one who created it. He's like, I met this amazing black. I gotta put her on the show.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's what I guess.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my golly.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. I'm surprised you didn't say Sex in the City.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, okay. I also love to be on Sex in the City and Entourage. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay. Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

There's so many great shows.

[Sasheer Zamata]

There are so.

[Nicole Byer]

Did you hear Television? Good.

[Sasheer Zamata]

There are so many great shows.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm rewatching you, and we tried to

[Sasheer Zamata]

get on that show a lot. We actually. We tried really hard to get on that show, and they said no.

[Nicole Byer]

They said no. We simply just don't have anything for you. But they were kind enough to let.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Let us audition a couple of times. I did. All the time. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I think I auditioned twice for it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think so, too. Yeah. Didn't get it. No, didn't get it.

[Nicole Byer]

But it was nice to be considered.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, that is nice.

[Nicole Byer]

That pilot is wild.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't remember the pile that well.

[Nicole Byer]

So at one point, Beck is, like, having sex in her apartment with no curtains, no window treatments in sight. On the first floor, Jo is jerking off in the bushes watching her. And then an old lady's like, excuse me, can you help me get a cab? And it made me laugh so hard. I was like, oh, yeah, this show is scary.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

But deeply funny.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Deeply funny. It is wild that that show was a success because it is like we are following and rooting for a psychopath. Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

A bad, bad man.

[Sasheer Zamata]

A bad man.

[Nicole Byer]

But rewatching the pilot, I was like, Pen is really, like.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

He's doing the work.

[Nicole Byer]

He's so good in it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

He's really good in it.

[Nicole Byer]

He is so charismatic. And I feel like that's like, the it thing where you watch a show where you're like, hey, maybe the writing. I'm not talking about you. I'm just like, in general, you're like. The writing feels so elevated by this actor. And if another actor did it, it wouldn't be as good.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I agree with that. Wow.

[Nicole Byer]

I love acting.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Acting TV. It's good.

[Nicole Byer]

TV's so good. Do you watch the Traders?

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, I still haven't seen it.

[Nicole Byer]

Ali Gast.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I love it.

[Nicole Byer]

I think you would like it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think I would too.

[Nicole Byer]

My only issue with it this season is they really cleaned house and got rid of all the black people real quick. I was like, that sucks. Yes. Yes. And this guy Rob, people love him in the house or in the castle. And at one point, the last episode, one of the faithfuls was like, robb's not a traitor. He definitely can't be a traitor. He's so nice. And I was like, ma', am, the name of the show is Traitors. People are dying every night. Of course there's. He could be a traitor. You could be a tr.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Does the audience. Who's watching it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Do we not know who would. The traitors?

[Nicole Byer]

No, we know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, okay.

[Nicole Byer]

We know who the traitors are. We know who the faithfuls are. We know who the traitors murder.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

It's a really fun show.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, sounds like it.

[Nicole Byer]

But this season, they really did clean house of the black people. And I said, In February. It's our month.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's our month.

[Nicole Byer]

We can't have nothing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, they don't care. Where's it shot?

[Nicole Byer]

Scotland.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Well, they don't have Black History Month over there,

[Nicole Byer]

I guess. They don't.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No.

[Nicole Byer]

We are the only ones who have Black History Month.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I. I don't know. I. Maybe there's other. I feel like other places have, like, heritage months and of. Or days, but, like, we celebrate American black history in the States. Yes. So in other places, maybe they celebrate their black history, but I don't know.

[Host]

Yeah, there are other ones. Canada's Black History Month is in. Is also in February. The UK Is in October.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh.

[Host]

Ireland and Netherlands are also in October. Germany. It doesn't say, but it says it has one, and we swear.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, we have one. We got one.

[Host]

Australia's in July.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Host]

Brazil's in November.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay. All right, all right. Good, good, good. Did you know that a black man invented the Super Soaker?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I did not.

[Nicole Byer]

And then I believe they took it and then started selling it, and then he had to, like, sue for his, like, royalties on it. I could be lying.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sounds right to me.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay, cool.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I mean, I don't know, but it sounds like a. A story that would happen to a black man.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

And then I think.

[Nicole Byer]

I think a black man invented the doorknob. Ooh. And I think a black man invented cell phones, maybe. What else? I think a black woman invented overalls. That one. I actually, I made that one up. The other ones, I think I read somewhere.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I know a traffic light. A black man invented that. And a black woman invented security cameras or, like, a security system. Like an alarm system for your house.

[Nicole Byer]

Wow. I love that. Drive your car right through this intersection. Stop your car. Don't come in my house. Come in my house.

[Host]

We.

[Nicole Byer]

Open your phone, make a call.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Let's take a break.

[Nicole Byer]

Inventions are fun.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Starting something new isn't just hard, it's terrifying. So much work goes into this thing that you're not entirely sure will work

[Sasheer Zamata]

out, and it can be hard to make that leap of faith.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Trust me, I know. When we started this podcast, we weren't even sure what we were doing. What if no one listens?

[Sasheer Zamata]

What if I make a fool out of myself?

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Now I know that we were right

[Sasheer Zamata]

in believing in ourselves, despite all the fears and hesitations.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

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[Nicole Byer]

And we're back.

[Sasheer Zamata]

A black person invented commercial breaks? No.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. Maybe.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Did we didn't we want to look up commercials?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I feel like we were talking about that one time.

[Nicole Byer]

Look up commercials.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like. Like the history of commercials. Like when they. Oh yeah, when they started. Because I think they used to put ads in television shows and then they were like no, it should be its own separate thing. But I don't remember when it started being its own separate thing or when they even started putting them on tv.

[Nicole Byer]

I feel like we did look this up, but I simply can't remember because I didn't retain.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I didn't either.

[Nicole Byer]

Ali hit it.

[Host]

The first official television commercial in the United states aired on July 1, 1941 and it was a 10 second September spot for Bova, which Bolova watches before a baseball game. And the ad was about $9 and it was broadcast on the New York station WNBT.

[Nicole Byer]

It's funny. One commercial.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Gotta get a watch.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Al. Yeah. I wonder, were people like, what is happening? What is this? What is this?

[Nicole Byer]

This isn't. That's not my program.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I was watching baseball.

[Nicole Byer]

God. That's very, very funny.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Should we answer questions?

[Nicole Byer]

Let's answer questions and queries.

[Host]

Hi, Nicole and Sashir. My name is James and I'm a 25 year old guy. My question is regarding friendship and navigating tough conversations. In the past, I have found myself in multiple situations where I start a friendship with someone from work or college jobs. And very early on in the friendship, I realized that this person is not for me. They either have different interests or no interest at all, or they're not interested at all in the things I'm into, like art or culture or music or having an intellectual conversation about anything. For lack of better. For lack of better words. They are usually superficial or lack passions and purpose. I can't stop. I can't stand putting up with people who do not excite me or challenge me in any way. So my solution has always been ghosting them. Because con. Having a conversation with a young dude, being like, you don't challenge me intellectually is insane. Insane and would be taken in a weird way. So my question is, how do you exit doomed friendships you're not interested in and without hurting the other person? Love and peace. Bye.

[Nicole Byer]

25. I feel like they're like friendships come and go. At 25.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. I think it's okay to ghost, which is. Yeah. It doesn't feel like the nicer right thing to do, but I think, yeah, at that age.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Things happen, your attention gets diverted, your life changes, you move, you find new friends, you find relationships, whatever. Yeah. I think it's not unheard of to like kind of recede from someone's life,

[Nicole Byer]

Especially if you've only hung out like twice. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You kind of owe them anything.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Unless they question it and they're like, why aren't you hanging out with me anymore?

[Nicole Byer]

You go, you don't challenge me intellectually. You don't have a singular interest. Your brain is just nothing. It's a basketball cut in half with air. You dumb. And then you go pop, pop, pop. And you hit him.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh my goodness.

[Nicole Byer]

And that's how you deal with that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

This reminds me of Jaden Smith when he was like, why don't people talk about politics or anywhere? Like, I want, I want to hang out. I want to talk about the socioeconomic climate of the world. And like, that was like a clip from like 10 years ago. And like recently people were like, why weren't we talking about the socioeconomic state of the world?

[Nicole Byer]

That's actually deeply funny. It's like, yeah, we were like, la, la, la. Things got bad.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like, actually Jaden was onto something. We should have been talking about this.

[Nicole Byer]

That's so funny.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. I think it's totally fine to like, not commit to friends that don't excite you.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And find people who do.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. Shoot em.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Shoot em. Pop, pop, pop. Yeah. But I think. Yeah. You don't owe them anything. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I think truly, if there hasn't. There hasn't been like a relationship cultivated. So what's the point of having a breakup?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

There ain't nothing.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Ain't nothing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Mm. Mm. Solved.

[Nicole Byer]

Solved.

[Host]

Okay, this one is called My boss became my friend, but he's a cheater. Hi, Nicole. Sasheer and lovely crew. I have a dilemma. I recently became part of a group of friends consisting of some of my co workers. I was excited to make young adult friends, especially ones that I can see at work every day. We've all hung out once so far and had a great time. But shortly after, I found out, one of them cheated on a girl from work who's not a part of the group with another girl at work. I am not fond of cheaters in general, so I felt uncomfortable and confused on how to navigate this forming friendship with him, knowing he recently did this. I know it's technically not my business, but I feel icky laughing and investing time with someone who actively decided to hurt others. I recently found out through a friend of the group that he's threatening to cheat on this new girl he's seeing. All that said, two friends of this six friend group know about this but don't seem too affected by it. Am I overreacting? I don't want to cause dysfunction in this group, but I also don't want to compromise my morals. I can't talk to him about my feelings and wanting to figure out his motives either because we aren't close like that yet. I just feel like it would feel like an attack to him. My mind is jumbled. What should I do?

[Nicole Byer]

I don't like cheaters.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, same.

[Nicole Byer]

I also think it's. I mean, I don't really understand cheating. So, like, the thought of someone being like, and I'm gonna do it again, like out loud.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, yeah. To be like unashamed about it. Yes. To be like, yeah, that's what I do. I Cheat as opposed to, like, I can't. Like, they're not.

[Nicole Byer]

Like, there's no grappling with it. I mean, me personally, I would probably phase myself out of the group and just become busy and, like, not available. And if somebody asks, I'd be like, hey, you know, Devin's cheating is really bothering me. So, yeah, I wasn't feeling great about it, so I just decided to remove myself rather than make it a thing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Or maybe you can hang out with, like, a couple of the girls in the group. Or, like. Like, if there's people. Because it says there's six of them, you don't all have to hang out. Like, if there's other people in there that you like, you can just, like, be like, let's hang out in a smaller setting. And you don't hang out with the big group, hopefully.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, yeah, that's tough.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But, yeah, you don't have to hang out with that person.

[Nicole Byer]

And.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And the other people, you know, they want. They. Maybe they're like, this is none of my business, but I still want to hang out with this person. That's.

[Nicole Byer]

That.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's up to them. But, like, if there's other people in the group that you like, maybe you can hang out with them, but I would step into that person because if you feel uncomfortable, that's going to affect your hang.

[Nicole Byer]

You're gonna, like, feel like you're on edge all the time. And also, that person's not fun. They're not cool.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, they're bad.

[Nicole Byer]

Devin's bad.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Devin's bad.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

Hang out with Kim and Sarah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

And maybe Peter.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I like that.

[Nicole Byer]

Imagine I got all those names right, and they're listening.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They're like, oh, my God, that'd be crazy. Solved.

[Host]

Okay, starting out, I just want to say I love Yalls podcast, and it brings me so much joy to listen to while I'm working my boring ass job. So thanks for that. Oh, and also, your friendship makes me so happy. I know a ton of people always say this, but it reminds me of me and my absolute best friend. He's very much sasheer because he's more calm and composed, whereas I'm very much Nicole, because things that come out of my mouth are wild and absurd, and it's great. Anyway, let's get to my stupid ass. Three of a problem. FYI, this is gonna be long because y' all need all the info so you don't end up needing to ask me for more before fully answering. Okay. I have a friend who I've known since 2020 and our friendship used to be really great. But I lost my job in 2024 and wasn't working for nearly six months. And that's when things started to change. We were living together until March of 2025, but he would never want to hang out with me because I needed to save money, which is fair and makes sense. Well, when we had our weekly movie show nights where we would order food to go and then watch movies and shows together, it was awesome. But here's where the fuck assery comes up. He was fully fine with me paying for the food every time. Same thing when I first started working again and wasn't making much money even when we would go out to eat and whatnot. Fast forward to now. He has another boyfriend. This is sadly important. And again, he is spending more of his time with someone who is most likely cheating. And when I say most likely, I mean like this man wanted to hang out with me just to help him investigate whether this ain't shit. Ass man was on Grindr. Fun fact, we're pretty sure he was because the account immediately blocked me. But enough about that thing he calls a boyfriend. We also hang out with all of his other friends more than me, including the ones who don't live close to us. This dude lives 10 minutes away from me and only ever texts me me to play video games. I don't know whether to address this to him to improve our friendship or just tell him that I'm done with being friends with him. I barely have a support system and I feel like I'm holding on to something that's outlived its life, you know? Also, I totally left y' all a voicemail, but I hope it's never listened to. Or maybe it will be because it's 8am and I started this four hours ago when I woke up for work and probs left some stuff out. Anyway, that's my query question. My fuck ass problem. Okay, thanks.

[Nicole Byer]

Bye.

[Host]

P.S. sashir and Agatha all along is the greatest thing ever. Now I just need Nicole in the MCU and my life will be complete. Okay, bye. Hope you all have a lovely day.

[Nicole Byer]

Hmm. Well, I've been holding this in. I'm playing Storm.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

No, I'm kidding.

[Nicole Byer]

I think they have to have a conversation.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, definitely.

[Nicole Byer]

Like, yeah, I'm feeling a little, like, underappreciated. And we only hang out to like Harriet the Spy. Whether or not your boyfriend's cheating or I'm paying for everything and I would love for it to be a little bit more 5050 yeah, I agree. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think if you enjoy this person and, like, them being in your community or, like, your support system, it's worth having conversation, and then it's up to them to change. And if they don't, then you have your answer. Like, you have information, and it is possible, like, you care about this friendship more than the other person, which is a sad realization. We don't know that, though. Cause, like, if you bring this up, maybe the person's like, oh, my God, I had no idea that's how I was coming off. Or, like, I had no idea I was treating you that way. Like, of course you mean a lot to me. Let me adjust. But then also, maybe they can't, and maybe, like, it's. Yeah. Sadly, there is a possibility where they cannot be a better friend to you. Yeah. But, like, give them the chance to show that, I guess. Yeah. And then you can find other people who appreciate you more and will pay for their own food.

[Nicole Byer]

And it's wild that they're paying for this other person's food when they didn't have a job.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Because I pay for my own food. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's okay to pay for your own food. I don't even know how would that have even started?

[Nicole Byer]

Maybe it's like you're ordering it through postmates or whatever, and they're just not giving you money.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, but I wouldn't.

[Nicole Byer]

Venmo requests.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Just Venmo requests The second week. Yeah, like, oh, you forgot. Oopsies. It's this much.

[Nicole Byer]

Whoopsie Daisy. You owe me money. Should we do one more?

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Let's do one more.

[Nicole Byer]

Uno mas, por favor.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Ooh.

[Nicole Byer]

Gracias. Gracias, muchacha. No, just muchacha. Oh, no. Gracias la mujer.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Thank you, woman.

[Nicole Byer]

Yep, that's how I wanted to say that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Gracias, mi amiga.

[Nicole Byer]

No, gracias mucha amiga. Wait, how do you say best?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I actually don't know how you say best

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

Alo. Say best in Espanol.

[Host]

Meores amigas.

[Nicole Byer]

Mes amigas.

[Host]

And Las Hermonas Cremosa.

[Nicole Byer]

Las Hermonas Cremosa. We're the Kimmy sisters. That's lovely. That was nice. That was nice.

[Host]

Hi, Nicole and Sasheer. I love your podcast and recently saw Nicole. Thanks so much for a great show.

[Nicole Byer]

You're welcome.

[Host]

Here's my question. When do you let a friendship go? I previously lived in another state and became close friends with one of my co workers. Let's call her Annie. For years, Annie and I talked every day, traveled together, and spent the holidays together, she met my family and I met hers. We supported each other through so many hard times. When I moved away, we kept our close friendship for years. We still spoke all the time, and she visited me. After the pandemic, she moved, and I visited her in her new state, too. Something's changed in the past year or so, though. Every time I text her, it takes her longer and longer to respond, sometimes weeks or months. I brought this up with her earlier this year and let her know I love and miss her and I'm here for her when she's ready to talk.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Talk.

[Host]

She immediately responded and said that she thinks about me all the time, but things have been really hard for her lately and she doesn't want to burden me. I told Annie, I'm here for all of her, the good and the bad, and she's never a burden to me. Things were good again for about a week now. It's been over two months since I've heard from her, and I was the last one to reach out. I don't know what's going on. I know friendships fade and that some don't last forever, but this is a really hard one for me to lose. At the same time, I don't want to always be the one initiating contact, and I don't want to feel like I'm bugging her to get a response. Do I just let things go? At this point, it honestly breaks my heart to lose this friendship. Thank you for your pers. Thank you for your perspective.

[Nicole Byer]

This one oddly sounds familiar. Like, maybe we've answered it already, but honestly, maybe not.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Maybe I'm just having deja vu. Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, you know French.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oui, Oui.

[Nicole Byer]

I think it's worth jumping on the phone and having, like, an. Like a real conversation as opposed to, like, texting. Yeah. How you're feeling? Yeah, I.

[Sasheer Zamata]

This feels a little bit like it has nothing to do with the person who wrote in, because it sounded like she responded and was like, sorry, I'm going through a tough time, or something like that, which she probably is.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And it's possible that if she is reaching out to people, maybe it's like people who are close. Unfortunately, you don't live in the same state. She doesn't see you as often. So if she does have the capacity to share how she's feeling or what she's going through with somebody, it might be other people or maybe nobody. We don't know. But I don't think. It's probably not like she doesn't want to reach out to you. She might not be able to right now because she's in a whole thing. And I, I have had friends where like, I was like, where are they? Like, they're like going through it in a relationship or like going through it emotionally or super busy work wise or whatever. Like, they're just like in their own world. And then one day they'll come back. Not always, but like, sometimes it'll pop back up and be like, hi, I'm. I'm like above water again. And it's like, oh, there you are. Okay. And it had nothing to do with me. They just like didn't have the capacity to be present. And so, yeah, I'm guessing that's probably what's happening with this other friend, which you can reach out and be like, hey, are you available? But you already told this person you want the good and the bad and like, you are available if they need you. So hopefully she knows that. But she might not, she might not be able to reach out to you. Or like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Maybe she's doing a bunch of like local crying, you know, crying in her local spots locally, and she can't do the long distance on the phone crying. Maybe because you reached out, you said you're here for like the good and the bad. Whatever. Did they tell us what she responded with or. No, I don't know. Okay, so maybe it's like, hey, can we set up a phone chat like a month from now just to check in so I can just check in to see how you are? Because I mean, I mean, don't put it on her to be like, you're not sharing with me, but I just want to make sure that you're doing okay. So can we, can we just have a, like a little monthly check in for now?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, yeah, that can work. But I don't want this person also feel like they have to check in. Like, yeah, because sometimes it's like, because maybe the person, if she's going through it and is crying locally, maybe it feels like too much to add, like to give another rundown to somebody else of like, here's why I'm going through it. Like, that can be exhausting. Maybe she's like, I will talk to you when I'm in a better place.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But doesn't want to say that for whatever reason.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

And I do understand that, like, it

[Nicole Byer]

might be more about Annie. Right. That's what we're calling her, Annie. But maybe for the person who wrote in, maybe, maybe they need to Contact for themselves. So maybe it's just like, hey, I was thinking of you. No need to respond.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Yeah, I love that. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Or like, I hope things are going

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

a little bit better.

[Nicole Byer]

No need to respond. Yeah. So then you don't feel like, you know, left hanging or whatever, but you're like, you did what made you feel good, which was reach out.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Or even just like, look at this funny squirrel.

[Nicole Byer]

And what's that squirrel doing?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Something funny.

[Nicole Byer]

Stand up. I was going for a walk and I saw a squirrel doing a tight five. It had a little acorn microphone and everything. And there was a squirrel audience. It was crazy. And then Annie's like, are you okay?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wait, I need to actually check in on you.

[Nicole Byer]

So that's the advice. Flip it and reverse it. You're now going through it. You're having a psychotic break, and the squirrels are hilarious. No, but I agree.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

This thing made me laugh thinking of you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So it's not so. Because also, like, some. Sometimes if it, like relationships feels like all we do is, like, deep dive, that can be, like, exhausting. And that person might not want to do that. Or if they're like, I know I needed to call you because you are expecting a check in from me, but I don't want to give it. Then they're like that. Then they delay that. But if it's just like, light or just like, this made me think of you. Or like, this reminded me of a joke that we have that might be nice and hopefully inspire more like response.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. You can start, like, squirrel chat.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Squirrel chat.

[Nicole Byer]

Like you said, a funny squirrel. And then Annie will be like, squirrels are funny. And then maybe it, like, brightens her day when she sees, you know, clevis the squirrel being so funny. And then she sends it back, and then you have squirrel chat.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I like that squirrel chat.

[Nicole Byer]

Well, the creamy sisters really got to the bottom of the case. Oh, boy. It's the end of the episode.

[Sasheer Zamata]

If you have any questions or queries or if you want to talk about squirrels. Yes. If you want to join our squirrel chat, you can call us or text us or leave a voice message at 323-238-6554.

[Guest or Supporting Speaker]

We also have an email address nicoleanceshirmail.com

[Nicole Byer]

and we're gonna figure out that voicemail stuff soon. Bye. Bye. Best Friends is a production of Headgum Studios.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

Our producer is Ali Khan.

[Nicole Byer]

Our executive producer is Anya Konovskaya.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

The show is edited, mix and and engineered by Richelle Chen.

[Host]

That was a HitGam podcast.

[Sponsor or Ad Voice]

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