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Aparna Nancherla
This is a Headgum podcast.
Nicole Byer
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Sasheer Zamata
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Nicole Byer
Hello Sashir.
Sasheer Zamata
Hello, Nicole.
Nicole Byer
Ooh, we have a guest. Spooky. We do.
Sasheer Zamata
It's our friend, Aparna Nancherla. Aparna is a an acclaimed comedian, writer, actor. Praised by critics and fans alike for her distinctive dry, existential and whimsical sense of humor, Aparna will soon release her first hour long stand up comedy special, hopeful potato, premiering December 15th on streaming services. On streaming service Dropout as part of its Dropout Presents series. Directed by Eliza Skinner, the the special blends Aparna's signature mix of anxiety, cerebral tangents and absurdist whimsy, all of which she has honed over her nearly 20 year comedy career.
Nicole Byer
It's a partner.
Aparna Nancherla
Thank you for that. I assume that was off the cuffs this year.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
That was me thinking about you and.
Sasheer Zamata
I was like, this is my assessment of you and what I know of you.
Nicole Byer
That would be funny if that was off the cuff. Just whimsical. Serena, wait. Aparna, can I. Hopeful potato. Is there a story behind it? It's such a good name.
Aparna Nancherla
It's a line from a joke in the special. But then I also talk about in the special how I took a long break from stand up. So it is like I thought about it, I was like, it is kind of me emerging up from underground to be like, do you still like me? Do you still want to hear my jokes?
Sasheer Zamata
I like that.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
How long was this break?
Aparna Nancherla
I wanna say just under three years. Okay. Yeah, it was a while, but I started writing a book and then I was like, it was a book about self doubt and I was just struggling mentally as I was writing it and it just became too much to try to do stand up at the same time. Then the pandemic happened. So I was like, great timing. We're all taking a break. Yeah. And then I finally finished the book and it felt like people were coming back to live performance. So I was like, like, yeah, I'll get back out there. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
How did it feel going back to the stage, like, was, like, did it. Was there any anxiety?
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, I mean, I always had anxiety around performing, and I do think coming back was almost nice because it felt more intentional. Like, I don't know. You guys have performed for so long, too, but I feel like I've gone through periods where I am like, do I like this? Like, who am I showing up for? And I think it made me be like, okay, I actually want to do this is something I missed in my life. And so having that more like, choice behind that decision, I think made it feel better than maybe it had before I took the break. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
When you got back on the stage after your break, did you, like, forget some of the mechanics of what stand up is?
Aparna Nancherla
I feel like that when I haven't performed for, like, two or three weeks, where I'm just like, did I ever do this? And then, you know, it is like, whatever. Riding a bike, where you're like, oh, yeah, this is how this works. But you really. I do feel like a goldfish sometimes where I'm like, do I perform? Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
We're going on two years of a hiatus. Are you.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. Stand up. How.
Sasheer Zamata
How.
Aparna Nancherla
How are you feeling?
Sasheer Zamata
I want to get back. I think now I actually have a desire to get back to it.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
Where for a while, I was like, I don't know.
Nicole Byer
Like, there's, like, a little bit of.
Sasheer Zamata
Like, I don't even know if I want. Not. I would you want to do it eventually. But I was like, I don't know if I'm. I'm ready.
Aparna Nancherla
Right.
Sasheer Zamata
But I'm like, okay, I do have the desire.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
And then Nicole was like, do you want to open for me on my show? Yes. And then I opened up my notes up, and I was like, I'm not ready. I do not have jokes here.
Aparna Nancherla
I do not know.
Nicole Byer
I simply have not written a thing.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, I know. It's also, like, the idea. Like, sometimes I'll think of an idea before a show, and I'll be like, oh, my God, the best thing I've ever thought of. And then I try to say it on stage, and it's like. It's just like a bunch of marbles falling out of your mouth, and you're like, sorry.
Nicole Byer
Sorry.
Aparna Nancherla
It was different up here.
Nicole Byer
It sounded good in my head. It was in the natural. I swear they're not good. It was like. I guess Covid was still happening. It was an outdoor show, but I hadn't performed for maybe a year.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And Sasheer and I were on this show, and I started telling a joke that was maybe three, four years old. And in the middle of it I went, I don't know how this ends. And I went, sasheer, do you know how this ends? And she went, what part are you on? And I told her and she went, ah, man, no. I don't remember what comes next. And then she goes, isn't your notebook beside you? And I was like, oh, yeah. But I like fully forgot how to do the joke. Yes. That my notebook was there to help me. I really was like my friend. Yeah.
Aparna Nancherla
I mean, sometimes I. I don't know if you guys feel like this, but with standup, since it's like sometimes material you have done so many times, it's like I'm no longer. It's just like muscle memory, you know? You're like, no. Like, sometimes I'm like watching myself do a set and I'm like, am I there? Is anyone there? Yeah. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
You're like, autopilot.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes. Yes. So I would. I fully relate to that where it's like mid joke, I might be like, wait, what?
Sasheer Zamata
What is that?
Aparna Nancherla
I was thinking about what I was gonna eat after this, which is really.
Nicole Byer
Crazy when you're like, oh, I. There's people here. I gotta get back. Gotta get back into it.
Aparna Nancherla
Like, I was on a different astral plane.
Nicole Byer
Aparna, can I ask you a question about friendship?
Aparna Nancherla
Yes. I was actually nervous because I feel like I have so many not hang ups around friendship, but I just. Yeah, I don't know. Sometimes I'm like, do I do friendship? Right.
Sasheer Zamata
We'd love to hear more about that. Yes. Well, I.
Nicole Byer
My question. I want to know about that.
Aparna Nancherla
Guys are best friends, so I don't know. I just feel like as an adult, it has been harder and harder to like, have good friendship hygiene and like, feel like I'm maintaining my friendships correctly or just like. I don't know. I feel like I'll. There are friends where you'll go long periods without talking to them, and it's fine when you catch. But then sometimes I'm like, am I just not showing up enough or, like, not participating in this? Like, in a way that feels good for the other person? I'm also bad at broaching those bigger conversations with people of like, hey, what grade would you give our friendship right now? You know, not that you would phrase it like that.
Nicole Byer
No, I kind of like it.
Sasheer Zamata
Maybe there should be a grading.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, a grading system where it's like.
Aparna Nancherla
Hey, I just pass fail.
Nicole Byer
You're barely passing. This is a C. Friendship could up.
Sasheer Zamata
The effort a little bit more.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I think the fact that you even have those questions.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Is great. There's so many people who wouldn't even think about that.
Aparna Nancherla
Okay. Okay.
Nicole Byer
Like, I'm killing it. Yeah. I'm crushing it in the friend department.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, I get that. I get that. But, yeah, I'm. Fire away. I'm ready. I'm ready.
Nicole Byer
Do you have a best friend?
Aparna Nancherla
I don't have a best friend. And I think I've always felt nervous of being like, this is my best friend. Because then they'd be like, you're not even in my top eight.
Nicole Byer
Has it happened to you?
Aparna Nancherla
No, but I think that's where my mind goes, because you. I don't. I mean, not that it's embarrassing to be vulnerable, but I think sometimes somehow the idea of a best or something. I'm. I also worry that someone else would be like, wait, I'm not your best friend. Like, I just. Something about the experience.
Nicole Byer
No one's my best friend.
Sasheer Zamata
None of you are.
Nicole Byer
I just said friends. No one's the best.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. No one's the best. You're rotating, but. Yeah. No, not really. I think when I was a younger kid, I had. I remember going through periods where it would be like, this is my best friend. But for the most part, I feel like I've always had a close knit, like three or four, but never, like, one. Like, this is my best. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. And that's okay.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I think a lot of people are like that because you find people you're close with.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Hopefully they're close with each other.
Nicole Byer
And you have, like, a little group.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
But, yeah, I think it is very vulnerable. Be like, you're my best friend.
Aparna Nancherla
I do feel like at this point in my life, though, it's kind of like whoever remains where it's like, I have one close friend from high school. I have one close friend from college. And it's like, just like, who have I been able to keep up the bonds with? Yeah. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Because. Do you still have friends from high school?
Aparna Nancherla
One.
Nicole Byer
One. Yeah, I have two.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
How many do you have?
Sasheer Zamata
I don't have any.
Nicole Byer
No friends from high school. They all got the job.
Aparna Nancherla
Not.
Sasheer Zamata
Not because of me.
Aparna Nancherla
I think you guys moved around a lot.
Sasheer Zamata
I did move around a lot, but I was at the same high school the whole time, and I had a best friend, and we were best friends until. Or we were still friends, like, after I moved to New York. And we're trying to keep in touch, but then, like, After a while, I think she. I think actually she was uninterested in maintaining the friendship.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Because I tried, but yeah.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
There was no follow up, so.
Nicole Byer
And then.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, I don't think. I don't know. I just lost track of everybody else too.
Aparna Nancherla
Right.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. So college is the farthest I can go back.
Aparna Nancherla
Now. Are you guys people who would want to go to your high school reunion or. No, because I just had a big one and I had no desire to go. And I remember someone reached out to me and they were like, hey, I thought it'd be really fun if you did stand up at our reunion.
Nicole Byer
Oh, my God.
Aparna Nancherla
I don't know about you, but those were the best years of my life. And I was like, whoa, Block. Like, I. I didn't handle anything about that email.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't even want to say no to you.
Nicole Byer
I just want to ignore this.
Aparna Nancherla
I don't like any of this.
Nicole Byer
That's so funny. Block. I remember it was either 10 or 15 years, the high school reunion. I said to my sister, I was like, I want to go and I want to stunt on those hoes and show them how well I've done. She was like, you were well liked. Why do you feel like this?
Sasheer Zamata
All those naysayers, they were trying to hold me down.
Aparna Nancherla
I couldn't do it.
Nicole Byer
She was like, if anything, everyone's really proud of you. They were rooting for you the whole time.
Aparna Nancherla
Time.
Nicole Byer
It's so funny. But I didn't go.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I haven't been to one reunion and I don't even know if any. I don't think I've been contacted for a high school reunion. I think for college. But my high school is also so big.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I don't think it wouldn't feel like, oh, you know, all of us, like, all 30 of us, we, like, grew up together. It's like, I think I had a class with you once and then we, you know.
Aparna Nancherla
Right, right, right, right. It's like vaguely ringing a bell, but yeah, not really. I mean, I don't want to, like, bag on myself too hard, but this will give you an idea of what my reputation was in high school. I ended up going to, like, a small liberal arts college and a girl I went to high school with also went there. And we like, first semester freshman year, we ended up in an acting class together. And I was like, hey, it's so funny. We both went to the same high school. And she was like, we did really did not. Remember me. Not that big of schools this year. Oh, no, it wasn't like, 35 kids.
Nicole Byer
But it was 10. I was like, I sat behind you in every class.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Aparna Nancherla
I was like, okay. I know you were one of the popular ones. You didn't need to know who I was. But interesting.
Sasheer Zamata
Did you do activities in high school?
Aparna Nancherla
I did. I went to a very, like, nerd, like, academic overachievement school. So everyone was just, like, trying to pad their little resume. It was like, even if you just showed up in the yearbook photo, you were a diligent member of that club. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nicole Byer
That's so funny to me. Like, in movies and stuff, they would be like, oh, I gotta do stuff to get into college. And I was like, wow, movies. Like, I just didn't know people were doing that. And I feel so. I feel insane sometimes because I'm like, everybody. Everybody I've ever met is like, I did after school activities and I tried to go to college.
Aparna Nancherla
Wow.
Nicole Byer
And I was like, I'm gonna be an actress. And I go home after school and eat potatoes.
Aparna Nancherla
I like that better. I like that better. I almost feel like I had adulthood, like, at. In high school. And then afterwards, it almost felt because I was like, that life seemed way less sustainable because I feel like as a teenager, you're supposed to get the most sleep you've ever gotten. And none of us were getting any sleep. I don't know if that's changed at all.
Nicole Byer
But I was pretty well rested.
Aparna Nancherla
I love this outfit.
Nicole Byer
Right until, like, five minutes before I had to be at school. The only reason why I made it is because Tony Sincata needed to be picked up. And he would call me on my flip Samsung phone and be like, hey, are you coming? And I'd be like, yeah, leave there in 10.
Sasheer Zamata
But that's so great that you knew then that you wanted to be an actor.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, yeah.
Nicole Byer
By junior year, I was like, that's what I'm doing. I don't need the SATs, and nobody has asked my score.
Sasheer Zamata
No, they won't.
Nicole Byer
Nobody's asked for my college degree that I don't have.
Aparna Nancherla
Nope.
Nicole Byer
So, yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, that's great.
Nicole Byer
That's the luxury I would have loved.
Sasheer Zamata
I mean, I'm thankful for my college experience, but, yeah, I.
Nicole Byer
Afterwards, I was like, so I didn't.
Sasheer Zamata
I didn't need any of that for what I do today.
Aparna Nancherla
No, not at all.
Nicole Byer
What was your major?
Sasheer Zamata
It was theater. I did learn about being on stage and the, I guess, mechanics of a production. But, yeah, I could have also just showed up to New York.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Aparna, what was your major?
Aparna Nancherla
Psychology. Oh, yeah. I'm. I still am like a sucker for, you know, a personality quiz. I just love, like, I mean, psychology is like a little bit of a self centered major because it's like just stuff you can directly apply to your life and other people, you know. So I think that's what fascinated me about it, where it's like history or law, it's like a little bit more esoteric or like you can't really get a. Get your head around it. But psychology is always like, oh. And what you're doing is like, you know, I don't know, masking or whatever it is the term you just learned.
Sasheer Zamata
Do you feel like it helps you assess people better?
Aparna Nancherla
I think so. I mean, I think as someone who's always felt kind of like an oddball or an outsider, I was like, this gives me a cheat code. Like I can figure out what you guys are doing and why you're doing it.
Nicole Byer
I was watching the Sopranos last night and Tony said Soprano said to his therapist, he's like, so are you trying to tell me everything comes back to our mothers? And I was like, yeah, yeah. A lot of things really do, do come back to how you were raised, who raised you and what they were doing. I know, and I just thought that was very funny.
Aparna Nancherla
I also was just thinking about, because I'm like, you know, kind of in midlife now, of just like how the first half of your life, everyone is kind of like informing your reality because you don't know there's like another way to like live outside of like, you know, your parents house or however you're raised. And that's like crazy. Like everyone has their own little like TV show they're living in that they don't know. It's like, could be different. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nicole Byer
My therapist once said to me, she was like, you're not the main character in that person's story. Oh. So she was trying to be like, things that happen don't necessarily have to do with you.
Sasheer Zamata
Right.
Nicole Byer
Someone's just making a choice because they're the main character.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes, yes.
Nicole Byer
And you might be affected, but you have to remember they're not making that choice with you in mind. And I was like, I know people aren't always thinking of me.
Aparna Nancherla
Rude.
Nicole Byer
How dare they?
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, yeah, it's.
Nicole Byer
It is weird. I think about that a lot. That like, there's whole worlds I don't know about.
Aparna Nancherla
I know. And also, just like you, I was thinking about how like, I don't Know, I heard on a podcast recently that they were like, you are what you pay attention to. So I was like, if I like, you know, focus more on one thing than another, I could just, like, have a completely different mindset. But it's like, because I'm like, oh, this Instagram post says I'm not important. Like, the whole day I'm like, I'm not important. But it's like, no, you just made that, like, an arbitrary indicator of, you know, what your place is in the world.
Nicole Byer
I think about that a lot. Like, people who are criminals, most of them are pretty smart. And I think we should like, be like, hey, criminal, you like robbing, and you figured out how to rob this place. Maybe you put that effort into something else. Like, okay, you like money because you robbed a bank. So maybe we get you into investments. We teach you.
Aparna Nancherla
I just.
Sasheer Zamata
Who.
Nicole Byer
And who is we? Who's.
Sasheer Zamata
What's the system?
Aparna Nancherla
I think the right angel investors.
Nicole Byer
I don't know, maybe the government, I don't know, like, actually rehabilitate people. Like, figure out what they're interest. Like, there's a reason why they're doing a crime. Like, okay, like, people who make drugs. Chemistry. Yeah, they're good at chemistry.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Or like the FBI hiring hackers to, like.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Figure out how to get into other people's systems.
Nicole Byer
And then that's fun because you get to do what you love, but for good.
Aparna Nancherla
I actually, that is a great. Like, I. When you were saying that, it made me imagine, like, a series of master classes that are all criminals. I would watch all of those because I'd be like, you clearly thought this through, right? You executed to perfection. You're in jail.
Nicole Byer
Like, I will watch videos on, say, an accountant. I've been watching the Sopranos. So the mob is, in my mind, like an accountant who worked for the mob, who, like, made offshore accounts. And then, like, I. Like, that's interesting to me. How did you do that?
Aparna Nancherla
I agree. I don't have a business brain. Not like that, legal or illegal.
Nicole Byer
I love crime.
Aparna Nancherla
It is fascinating.
Nicole Byer
As long as it's not, like, really hurting people.
Sasheer Zamata
As long as it's organized.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, if it's organized and there's a hierarchy, I'm into it.
Aparna Nancherla
No disorganized crime.
Nicole Byer
What's the thing you like to do with friends?
Aparna Nancherla
I mean, ideally, I love, like, a small dinner, like, three to four people where we can just like, joke around, maybe talk a little shit, but really just, like, enjoy each other's company. I feel like any scenario where you can have one of those times where it's like everyone's laughing so hard, no one can talk. I love like any environment where that may happen.
Nicole Byer
Now are you doing this at people's homes? Are you going out in. Into the world?
Aparna Nancherla
I, when I lived in New York, I feel like people would want to go out more. But in la, I think people are more comfortable like hosting and being. And love being in their homes more, period. I don't know if that's a space thing or a convenience thing. Yeah. But I like both.
Nicole Byer
I think it might be more about the space because I remembered in New York, I didn't know any of my friends apartment. No idea what they look like.
Sasheer Zamata
I know I never went to your.
Nicole Byer
Home and I think I only went to your home after I moved to la.
Sasheer Zamata
That might be possible. Yeah.
Aparna Nancherla
Wow.
Sasheer Zamata
No, no.
Nicole Byer
It was my Greenpoint place once because you had no windows in your room and sleeping in it. I said, this can't be this. You can't live like this. You can't. It was crazy. It was so hot. You're like, here's my little fan. And I was like, you can't live like this. And then I think I visited every apartment you lived in after one time.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't even know if that's true, though. They had a lot of apartments. I don't think you saw all of them.
Aparna Nancherla
How this is fascinating because in my head, I imagine like you did with the high schoolers in movies. I imagine best friends just showing up at each other's houses willy nilly, maybe spending the night.
Sasheer Zamata
We just live so far because I.
Nicole Byer
Was in Brooklyn and you were in Harlem. Used to leave Manhattan.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, I lived in Harlem.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, get that.
Sasheer Zamata
We spent all our time.
Aparna Nancherla
Oh, yeah, that's quite a true Chelsea.
Nicole Byer
In the middle.
Sasheer Zamata
In the middle Chelsea.
Aparna Nancherla
Oh, okay.
Nicole Byer
She would come to my job unannounced.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I just sit behind her like she's working.
Nicole Byer
And nobody ever said a thing.
Aparna Nancherla
Oh, I love that.
Nicole Byer
And they kept giving me more money. I was such a bad employee. Wait, where did you work at ucb? I worked at the front desk. And I remember my boss, Eric Tanoy, was like, can you fax, fax this? And I said, I don't know how to fax. And he said, I'll show you. And I said, if you could show me, you could do it. Which is what? Your employer. And then I like up an Excel spreadsheet, like a money thing. And then they were like, you won't be doing that again. I was like, yes, Less responsibilities. Can I have a raise? And I got it.
Aparna Nancherla
Wow.
Sasheer Zamata
And that's why they went under.
Aparna Nancherla
Me.
Nicole Byer
I did it.
Aparna Nancherla
I want the Hulu Doc for this.
Nicole Byer
Where it's just like, oh, no. I just wasn't. I shouldn't have been here. They shouldn't have hired me.
Sasheer Zamata
I love that you said something about gathering with friends and talking shit. And I know, like, everyone does it and.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Person, but I really can't imagine you doing that.
Nicole Byer
No, me either.
Aparna Nancherla
I know. I feel like if people are like, you're so nice, you never would, but I don't know. I think we all need to, like, talk a little shit. And I think with friends is the best place because it feels like a safe kind of container. And you have to, like, just be able to vent or, like, you know, we all, like, just work or life. You always have people that are going to rub you the wrong way or, like. Like, why did they get this? They don't deserve it, or whatever it is where it's like, it might be more about you, but you have to get it out of yourself.
Sasheer Zamata
It's true.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nicole Byer
I agree. I love venting and I love talking and I love having a strong opinion. And someone's like, she's not that bad. I'm like, yeah, okay.
Sasheer Zamata
I love beating a dead horse, too.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
Bring it back.
Nicole Byer
A juicy thing. Bring it back. Beat that dead horse. That's fun. I like that.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. Do you. Have you ever done that thing, though, where with, like, maybe a newer friend where you dangle something where you're like, we both are not gonna like this person. Right. And then they're like, actually, I love her. And you're like, retreat. Retreat. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Like, oh, now say this. Okay.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, yeah. That's happened a lot because I really like talking shit.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
So I'll be like this. And they're like, oh, my God, they're great. And I'm like, they are.
Sasheer Zamata
You said it.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Let me get out of here. But then there's been times where, like, I've dangled the little carrot and they've been like, yeah, they're. They're shitty and I hate them. And I'm like, that's my friend.
Aparna Nancherla
I know. It really makes you double down.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Aparna Nancherla
And also when there's just a mutual. Yeah. Like, dislike of someone, it's just, like, very bonding. And it's usually not even about the other person.
Nicole Byer
That's true. Yeah. It's like, I just want to. I just want to vent. I just want to talk shit about Something.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. It's like, one of the few pleasures.
Sasheer Zamata
Do you have a lot of comedy friends?
Aparna Nancherla
I do. I feel like as. I. I don't know. I think because our job is so, you know, night night based. Like, you're around people in sort of an already social environment. Like, it's hard to then make friends outside of that. Unless. I don't know. I have friends who. Comedy friends who have other hobbies, and I'm trying to do that, but it's hard for me to be like. And I'll go out and do another hobby. Like, it's like the hobbies end up being more solitary. Comedy is more social by default.
Nicole Byer
It is a social job.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
It is a crazy job that it's like, all right, going to a bar, gonna tell us some jokes. Ooh, I got a drink ticket, maybe $2.
Sasheer Zamata
Stay and drink and hang out.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. But it is interesting that jump from, like, comedy acquaintance to comedy friend. Like, I remember in New York, like, when I first moved there, kind of being like, you know, seeing a few people and kind of being like, they seem like they could be maybe friend material, but then being nervous to be like, do you want to hang out? Not at a show with that.
Nicole Byer
Do you want to see me during the day? It's kind of like dating, because, like, you date people at night, and then when you hang out during the day, it's like we're agreeing that we like each other, I guess.
Sasheer Zamata
I know. Yeah.
Aparna Nancherla
I remember a comedy friend I made in New York. Like, our first date was, like, playing ping pong. And I remember I was so nervous. I was like, am I fun?
Sasheer Zamata
Ping pong's very fun.
Aparna Nancherla
I know. I think it helped to have an activity that we could kind of. Yeah, yeah.
Nicole Byer
I'm trying to think, because I've met comedy friends through you that have then become, like, my good friends. Like, I met Mateo through you. You. And then Mat is one of my best friends now. And I can't remember the first time we hung out alone or, like, had a conversation alone.
Aparna Nancherla
Huh.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't know either.
Nicole Byer
Well, we'll never know.
Sasheer Zamata
He might.
Nicole Byer
He might know. Nope. We're not going to ask. Not going to ask. But I think what I'm going to ask is, can we take a break?
Sasheer Zamata
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Nicole Byer
And we're back. Well, that was a nice break.
Sasheer Zamata
We still don't figure out how you and Mateo hung out.
Nicole Byer
We'll never figure it out.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Did you have a best friend growing up or no?
Aparna Nancherla
I remember having a couple best friends growing up. When I was in kindergarten, I remember this. This little kid named Dougie would come over to my house and we would play memory. Do you guys remember that card game where you had to, like, flip over cards and match them? And that's all I remember about that friendship. He would come over every day, we would play memory cards. That was like our ritual. We were like two 80 year olds and 5 year old buddies. And then I remember for Valentine's Day, he gave me a card that was an elephant squashing a monkey. And it said, I have a crush on you. And I didn't know what that meant. And like, my parents and my sibling were like, oh. And I was like, what? He wants to squash me?
Sasheer Zamata
Is this a threat?
Nicole Byer
He wants to hurt me.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. And then I think when I was in elementary school, I had a best friend.
Nicole Byer
Wait, what happened to Dougie?
Aparna Nancherla
I don't know.
Nicole Byer
The card ended.
Aparna Nancherla
He was written out of the show. I don't know why. I don't know why.
Nicole Byer
That's very funny. Also, what a good kid. Named.
Aparna Nancherla
I know.
Nicole Byer
I'm Dougie.
Aparna Nancherla
I know. I'm like, at what age do you drop the E?
Nicole Byer
Never. Never, Never. Always Dougie.
Aparna Nancherla
Because I feel like, once you get to a certain age, it's like, now you're, you know, part of a criminal gang. Dougie the Fixer or whatever.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes.
Aparna Nancherla
But, yeah, after that, I had a best friend named Cassie who I just remember her family was Mormon. And one of our outings was we went to see the church. Church.
Nicole Byer
Oh, okay. That sounds like a Mormon activity to see the church. Do you know Mormons drink a lot of Diet Coke?
Aparna Nancherla
What?
Nicole Byer
I don't know.
Aparna Nancherla
Wait, by Joe, like, intentionally?
Sasheer Zamata
Is it in their. In their book?
Nicole Byer
Because I think they don't drink coffee. Oh, so they get their caffeine from Diet Coke.
Aparna Nancherla
Gotcha.
Nicole Byer
And they love Diet Coke. Am I crazy, or is this real?
Sasheer Zamata
Wow.
Nicole Byer
Okay. Wow.
Aparna Nancherla
Wow.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, they don't. But they love Diet Coke.
Sasheer Zamata
I had no idea.
Aparna Nancherla
Me neither.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, I, you know, I just. I watch a lot of different videos on different things and don't learn all of it and then just say weird sentences and go, can you believe we're impressed?
Sasheer Zamata
Thank you.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, that was a good one. But I remember with Cassie, it was, like, more intentional, where I think she was literally like, do you want to be my best friend? Like, it was like, that age where it's like, that was a normal, normal conversation. I mean, not that it's not normal at a different age, but I feel like there was. There's a window in childhood where it's kind of like.
Sasheer Zamata
That makes sense.
Aparna Nancherla
Picking season.
Nicole Byer
Everyone kick your friend. Everyone get your best friend. Well, as an adult, I don't think we have those conversations.
Aparna Nancherla
Not at all.
Nicole Byer
The last friend that I asked to be my. Because I made. I. I've made friends just like. Like, naturally. And, yeah, we've just ended up hanging out more. But you were there. The last time I asked somebody to be my friend, Jessica, I went, will you be my friend? And then burst into tears.
Aparna Nancherla
Out of nervousness or just, like, emotion.
Nicole Byer
I don't know. I might have just felt overwhelmed. She was making me laugh, and I liked hanging out with her. It's so sweet. And then she didn't make fun of me, and I was like, oh, my God. I know it's working.
Aparna Nancherla
I love that.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, I think it is.
Nicole Byer
Like, for some reason, it does feel.
Sasheer Zamata
More vulnerable as an adult.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
For friendship.
Aparna Nancherla
I mean, this is like a more like, cynical take, but I also feel like at this age, it's kind of like if you're signing up for, you know, maybe picking me up from my colonoscopy, so get ready for that.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, Actually, there's a lot more Responsibility.
Nicole Byer
As an adult.
Sasheer Zamata
As a kid, you're just like, we'll play together sometimes. Like, I might need you to help me move.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes. Yes. Yeah. Exactly.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. More responsibility comes with friendships. As an adult.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Just, like, go play kickball and make bracelets and then as an adult. Yeah. Help me move colonoscopies.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Lasik eye surgery.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Something I'm really.
Aparna Nancherla
Have you gotten it?
Sasheer Zamata
No.
Nicole Byer
I'm so scared of it.
Aparna Nancherla
I'm so scared of it, too.
Nicole Byer
It seems crazy. And people are like. Like, it's fine, and I can see great and this, that, and the other. But then there's the, like, 1%. That's, like, it sliced my eye in half.
Aparna Nancherla
Exactly. I've heard one too many of those stories. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I don't. It's a laser that goes right into your eyeball.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Aparna Nancherla
It's a lot to think about.
Sasheer Zamata
I saw. You're pointing at me. What's up?
Nicole Byer
Your eyes are good.
Sasheer Zamata
My great question.
Nicole Byer
But you don't have. You don't wear glasses or contact.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't wear glasses or contacts. I have 2020 vision, but my cornea are getting weak.
Aparna Nancherla
What does that mean? Like, overall strength?
Nicole Byer
I guess.
Sasheer Zamata
Strength.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Like, bright lights hurt more than they used to.
Aparna Nancherla
Gotcha. Okay.
Sasheer Zamata
And things seem darker earlier to me.
Nicole Byer
Than they do to other people.
Aparna Nancherla
Okay.
Sasheer Zamata
But I just saw a video about red light therapy for your eyes. Like, people are putting, like, red lights on their eye or, like, standing in front of a red light panel, and that's supposed to improve your vision.
Nicole Byer
Oh.
Sasheer Zamata
So I'm hoping that can work because I would love to not do surgery or anything.
Aparna Nancherla
I always wonder how they figured these things out.
Nicole Byer
I don't know who put a red light in their eye and was like.
Sasheer Zamata
That'S actually working for me.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Maybe someone at a stoplight was like.
Sasheer Zamata
Well, now I can see really well.
Nicole Byer
That feels so good. I just stared at that red light for a while. Yeah. I don't know how experiments happen.
Aparna Nancherla
I don't either. Because some of them, you're like, okay, well, that tracks. It's like they realize this is good for you. So they were like, what about if you had this? But I don't know. Red. Red light there. Because I feel like, in general, we're like, don't stare into a light for too long.
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
But. But for some reason, this is. Okay.
Nicole Byer
Maybe it's because your phone and, like, computers. I think it's blue light.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
That's tragic.
Nicole Byer
So maybe the red light makes it purple, and purple's A superior color than both.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes. It's a red light.
Nicole Byer
Well, I don't know if it's like.
Sasheer Zamata
You'Re looking at them at the same time. I think it's.
Nicole Byer
Well, the blues sucked up in you.
Sasheer Zamata
So when you stay there, the blue light stayed there.
Nicole Byer
It mixes up into purple, into your brain.
Aparna Nancherla
It neutralizes it or something.
Nicole Byer
I'm a scientist.
Sasheer Zamata
Of course.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
You see. You know how experiments go?
Aparna Nancherla
Yes, yes.
Nicole Byer
But have you ever seen how chocolate's made?
Aparna Nancherla
No.
Nicole Byer
They. Okay, so you, like, cut open like a cacao, and then you, like, take out the beans, and you, like, crush up the beans and then there's, like, a bunch of stuff. And I'm like, who did that first?
Aparna Nancherla
Right, right.
Nicole Byer
Who did that?
Aparna Nancherla
I know. With foods especially, I'm like, oh, God, we lost probably a whole in memoriam of people who tried stuff.
Nicole Byer
And pass right away.
Aparna Nancherla
Definitely took one for the team.
Sasheer Zamata
Or like, silkworms. Like taking silk from silkworms and making clothing from it. Yes. It was like, I can do this. I can string this all together.
Nicole Byer
Glass.
Aparna Nancherla
Oh, yes.
Sasheer Zamata
Glass. Crazy.
Nicole Byer
Look at this thing. I can see through it. And it'll keep us warm. We put it up. It's wild. Images are crazy.
Aparna Nancherla
Now I feel like we're that. What is that Insane Clown Posse song where it's like magnets? How did they work?
Nicole Byer
I don't know. I don't know. I can't tell you.
Aparna Nancherla
I don't even know how I know that. I think it's like a boyfriend I once dated was like, look at this.
Nicole Byer
Sounds like you're a Juggalo or a Juggette.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, I would love to know that. Pre pandemic, it was a Juggalo version of a pirna.
Sasheer Zamata
Do you like concerts?
Aparna Nancherla
I'm not a big concert person. I think I like. I think it's like crowds. And as a short person, I'm like, I can never see anything. I just get elbowed a lot. So, yeah, I'. I mean, I like certain concerts. Like, now I'm at an age where I'm, like, going to more seated concerts.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Like what? What's a seated concert you went to?
Aparna Nancherla
I recently went to a Paul Simon concert. Yeah. And that was like, you know, me and some 40, 50 somethings really having a great time.
Nicole Byer
I don't know who Paul Simon is.
Aparna Nancherla
He's.
Nicole Byer
Oh, wait, Simon and Garfunkel. Turns out I do.
Sasheer Zamata
You do?
Nicole Byer
I know exactly who that man is.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. But, yeah, he's. Yeah. I always am amazed because he's like, you know Pretty up there. And he's still touring. And I don't know, I'm like. I guess people just have it in their bones where they're like, I've just done this for so long, but.
Nicole Byer
Or they owe money to somebody. Like, I think. I think his name is Frankie Valley.
Aparna Nancherla
Oh, yeah.
Nicole Byer
He's still touring because I think he owes somebody money because he's not moving. He's just up there just not really doing it. And then the song's going, and somebody will have to, like, bring the mic to his mouth. Like, he's old. I think that's who I'm thinking.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't know who this is.
Aparna Nancherla
He's an IE one.
Nicole Byer
He's too old. And the videos are really, like. They're a bummer. He shouldn't be out. You gotta put him in a bed.
Aparna Nancherla
Oh, no.
Nicole Byer
Wait.
Aparna Nancherla
How old is Paul Simon? Paul Simon is 84. Okay. Okay.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Nicole Byer
Dang.
Sasheer Zamata
What's up there?
Aparna Nancherla
No Frankie Valley, though.
Nicole Byer
No Frankie Valley. It's truly. You got to watch the videos. I know.
Aparna Nancherla
Now I'm going to.
Nicole Byer
They're wild. I saw Lionel Richie at the Hollywood bowl, and that was like a seated show.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes.
Nicole Byer
And we were all just swaying in our. In our seats, and it was. It was lovely.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. No, there's something nice about it. Feels very. I don't know, it feels kind of a little more intimate or something. Yeah. But you guys are live show people, right?
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I love a concert.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
One of my favorite things to do.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And I get so. I don't love crowds, but I do love a crowd getting together for one singular thing.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I like a hive mind. We're here for Beyonce. We're here for Lady Gaga. But that changes.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. That changes the vibe. Because it's not just like a crowd at, like, I don't know, Universal Studios. Everyone has their own agenda.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. Do you like amusement parks?
Aparna Nancherla
No.
Nicole Byer
Me either.
Aparna Nancherla
And I think I used to because of the rides and stuff, but now it's like the crowds. I can't handle it.
Nicole Byer
It's too many people. They don't know how to act. Everyone's like, ugh and musty. Some people are musty. They're walking around all day.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Sometimes in the morning, it'll be like, you left your house funky. Oh, no.
Sasheer Zamata
They're probably stressed out because they had to pack all their kids this stuff. And it's expensive.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Aparna Nancherla
Do you guys ever see babies at live shows?
Sasheer Zamata
Yes.
Aparna Nancherla
Okay.
Sasheer Zamata
I have seen people bring babies to concerts, and I'm like, I know this feels irresponsible cuz they have the big.
Aparna Nancherla
Headphones on, but I'm still like, you.
Sasheer Zamata
Couldn'T find a sitter? There's no other option.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Well, tickets are so expensive now.
Aparna Nancherla
I know.
Sasheer Zamata
Like I don't also want to pay for a sitter.
Aparna Nancherla
Right. And is it like Baby Mozart A little bit. Where they're like, I really need you to be infused, used with, you know, this music. Doja cat early on.
Sasheer Zamata
This is good for your brain development.
Nicole Byer
That's so funny. Let's take a break.
Sasheer Zamata
Did you want to do it? You can do it, Go ahead.
Nicole Byer
I didn't even know that a break with time was happening. Yeah, I missed the sign.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
No, no, you do it. You did it so good.
Sasheer Zamata
Let's throw to a break.
Nicole Byer
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Nicole Byer
We're back from the break. Let's throw to a break. We're back from the break. Do you ever give gifts to your friends?
Aparna Nancherla
I do. I feel like I struggle more with occasion based gift giving. I really like, like seeing something and being like, oh, I know someone who would love this. But it's harder when it's like birthday. Need to find thing for birthday. I wish I was. I feel like there are some people who just have that like spreadsheet mind of like, I know exactly what this person needs when. But I'm a more of a chaotic gift giver. Yeah. And sometimes I have friends where I'm like, I guess we don't do gifts. It doesn't seem like we're on a gift vibe.
Nicole Byer
That is interesting. I never thought about that. Because there are people in my life I give gifts to.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes.
Nicole Byer
Or if I like see something.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes.
Nicole Byer
I say something. Or I buy it and give it to them. Them. But then there's people in my life that I'm like, I would never buy you a thing in. In the whole world.
Aparna Nancherla
I know.
Nicole Byer
Never ever.
Aparna Nancherla
And I would never expect you to buy me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't know what that is.
Nicole Byer
What was that about? I guess like what?
Sasheer Zamata
I wonder what the difference is.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Like, yeah, I agree. I have friends who I love very much who I don't expect a gift from.
Nicole Byer
No.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Or I got them a gift, but it wasn't for their birthday.
Aparna Nancherla
Right.
Sasheer Zamata
I just thought of you. Here's a gift.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, maybe. I guess. Yeah. I don't know what the difference is.
Aparna Nancherla
I don't either. It's kind of a weird thing.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. And then how did gifts start?
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Like who gives the first gift? I've given you gifts. I wonder who's given the. Who gave the first gift?
Aparna Nancherla
I guess it helps if it's like Someone has a birthday first, and then you're like, okay, I'll get you something for that. But yeah, for, like, holidays or something. I don't know. Because then you're also like, don't want them to be like, oh, no, I didn't get you anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because oftentimes I don't care if they didn't get me anything, because I'm like, once you're an adult, I'm buying my stuff.
Nicole Byer
I'm buying stuff.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
All the time.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. That's also the thing. Like, it is interesting where I guess mostly families feel obligated to get gifts for everybody.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
And it's like, you'll never get me the thing I want. No, you just simply will not. You're just incapable. And it's okay. We can all just.
Nicole Byer
Just end this. Like, we don't have to even try.
Aparna Nancherla
I agree.
Sasheer Zamata
I know what I want, and I'm gonna get it for myself.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
And I'm sure you know what you want, and you can get it for yourself too.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
But what do we do?
Sasheer Zamata
Why are we buying trash for each other?
Aparna Nancherla
I know. Just swapping trash back and forth.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. That is interesting. We are just giving each other trash.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. And I feel even more so that with work and gifts for, like, you know, especially in our industry, where it's like, I don't know, your agent or something, where I'm like, I don't know your life.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. I don't know what you like to do. I just give them wine with a picture of me on it to remember who they're representing.
Aparna Nancherla
That's smart. That's smart. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Remember, get me a job. And sometimes they'll say, get me a job this year.
Aparna Nancherla
Oh, yeah, that's even better.
Sasheer Zamata
And they're like, you know what? I was reaching for a bottle of wine. Something about it made me think of you.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. And I got you a job this year.
Aparna Nancherla
That is smart, Nicole.
Nicole Byer
I don't remember how I came up with it, but it's funny. Sometimes, like, as a rap gift on a show, they'll be like, you want a sweatshirt branded with this show name? And sometimes I do.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And then sometimes I'm like, well, we made this on Zazzle, and the quality's not great.
Sasheer Zamata
Great. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
At least make it cute.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Like, sometimes at a thrift store, you'll find, like, a really cool rap gift from, like, a show from, like, the 80s or the 90s where I'm like, oh. There was thought and effort and, like, the quality this Is nice.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
But sometimes you'll see something, you're like, woo wee. You'll find, like, multiples. And you're like, oh. And then no one liked it. Nobody liked it.
Aparna Nancherla
And you're like, you could have probably thrown some of this budget towards the show.
Nicole Byer
Or the actors on the show.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Or the actors, you know, or marketing.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. We didn't need a bunch of ball caps and tote bags.
Nicole Byer
You say ball caps?
Aparna Nancherla
Ball.
Nicole Byer
Ball caps.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes. Like a ball cap.
Nicole Byer
A ball cap.
Sasheer Zamata
Baseball. Baseball cap.
Nicole Byer
Huh. I've never heard it called a ball cap. And I like it.
Aparna Nancherla
It.
Sasheer Zamata
What would you call it?
Nicole Byer
A baseball cap.
Aparna Nancherla
Baseball cap.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, but ball cap, that's fun. Or maybe. Maybe I just say hat.
Sasheer Zamata
It's also a hat. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I think I've. I think hats to me are hats. Hats, hats.
Sasheer Zamata
What was the last one? Tell me what the last one was.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, what was the last.
Nicole Byer
That was what they were in the newsies, where they're like, papers. Paper boy. That's what it's called. Extra, extra. Paper boy.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay, so the hat was a wide brim, like, sun hat and then a baseball hat and then a paper boy. Newsy hat.
Nicole Byer
Oh, and then top hat.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes. Wow. See, this is why you guys are best friends. You have shared hat language. Was there a time. I mean, maybe this is just a historical fiction thing, but was there a time where everyone just regularly wore a hat?
Nicole Byer
There was a time where people wore hats and petticoats and dressed up.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And we don't do that anymore.
Aparna Nancherla
We don't now. I feel like when I see someone in, like, a nice hat walking down the street, I'm like, what's your problem? Like. Like, why am I upset?
Nicole Byer
I don't know, but I really love that you're upset. What's your problem?
Sasheer Zamata
It does feel like they're doing too much, but also. So why does it.
Nicole Byer
Why does it feel that way?
Aparna Nancherla
I know.
Nicole Byer
They should be able to wear whatever they want.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I did buy an insane hat from an estate sale that I've only worn one time. And it was on my way to the car after the estate sale. And I'm like, I don't know the function. I'm gonna wear this. It's an insane hat.
Aparna Nancherla
What, like, genre of hat would you say it is?
Sasheer Zamata
Willy Wonka.
Nicole Byer
I would say Willy Wonka Glam, because there's, like rhinestones on it. But if you saw me walking down the street, you would stop in your tracks and be like, what's your problem?
Sasheer Zamata
You would get so mad.
Nicole Byer
You get so mad at me.
Sasheer Zamata
There's no purpose for it.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. I don't know what I'm gonna wear that hat too.
Aparna Nancherla
Wow.
Sasheer Zamata
But it's fun.
Nicole Byer
It is fun. And I like owning it.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Aparna Nancherla
I have articles of clothing like that where I'm just like. I just like the idea that I'm someone who owns. I will never show anyone this in.
Nicole Byer
Public, but I do need to get rid of a bunch of clothes. And so Shira's gonna come over and help me.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
It'll be fun.
Nicole Byer
But there's gonna be so much that I'm gonna be like, but I have to keep this.
Aparna Nancherla
I know. That's what happens to me every time I go through my stuff.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Aparna Nancherla
I think I just need to not look and put it all in a bag and.
Sasheer Zamata
Scary to me.
Aparna Nancherla
I know it's scary. But then it's like, I wouldn't even think of it if I didn't know about it.
Nicole Byer
I have to. As soon as I decide to give things away, I have to put it, like, away from where I see it.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes. Yes.
Nicole Byer
And then when I bag it up, I cannot look at it again because then I'll go, wait a minute. I quilted horse jacket.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Which is on the top of my pile right now. Because I'm not a horse girl, you know, I know.
Aparna Nancherla
I'm not either, but I'm always buying stuff with horses.
Nicole Byer
Yes. Because I'm like, what if. What if I become a horse girl?
Sasheer Zamata
The possibilities there.
Nicole Byer
And I think it stems from childhood, because I was friends with this girl, Danielle Prospero, who had an above ground pool and she loved horses. And I was like, I love horses. I didn't love horses.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. Yeah. I definitely, like, idolized the horse girls growing up. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And I'm not a horse girl. Also, why am I putting this. This woman's first and last name out there?
Sasheer Zamata
Well, you didn't say bad about her. She's above ground pool and loved horse horses. Not bad.
Nicole Byer
What if she comments, I did not like horses.
Sasheer Zamata
Don't you lie on my name.
Nicole Byer
She did have a sick ass pool. Nice.
Aparna Nancherla
Wow. The things other kids had that you were just like, wow, that's how to live.
Nicole Byer
Did you make friends with anyone based on a thing that they had that you wanted?
Aparna Nancherla
Ooh, great question. I'm sure, like, I went to a sleepover or something where I was just like, I gotta work harder on this friendship.
Nicole Byer
What about you, Sasheer? Because mine was pool people. Once I found out you had a pool, I was like, hey, do you Want to really be my friend?
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I think like nice parents that fed me.
Aparna Nancherla
Oh my gosh. I mean, good snacks and good food is huge. I remember going to a friend's house and they had had a cake, like a home baked cake under one of those like glass, like cake glasses. And I was like, opulence. What kind of Disney movie is this? You just have a cake available for whenever fresh baked.
Nicole Byer
That is wild.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And I'm like, should I go home and bake a cake? It would be nice to just have cake.
Sasheer Zamata
It would be nice.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I had a Filipina friend whose mom loved to cook for her friends and it was so good. And I would just go over all the time.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Filipino ube. Did she make any UBE stuff?
Sasheer Zamata
Probably, but I don't really remember.
Aparna Nancherla
Oh, ub's the best.
Sasheer Zamata
I didn't ask what I think it was. I just ate it. Purple?
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, yeah, purple.
Nicole Byer
You know, like, is that usually with desserts though? Yeah, I know. Like ube cakes and stuff.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I mostly remember the savory stuff.
Nicole Byer
Oh, yeah. I forget. You're a savory girl.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. Me, I'm a savory girl.
Nicole Byer
I'm a sweetie.
Aparna Nancherla
I'm a sweetie as well.
Nicole Byer
It's a nice place to be. I love sweet things. Oh my God.
Aparna Nancherla
Now are you a like crispy or like a mushy or Mushy? Yeah, me too.
Nicole Byer
Like when Cold Stone creamery came around, I was like, like, I know my comes pre mushed up.
Aparna Nancherla
I know, I know.
Nicole Byer
Like, I know. Like the way they mush up cake if you get cake in it.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I think would be sick to a lot of people.
Aparna Nancherla
Oh, yeah.
Nicole Byer
But I love it.
Aparna Nancherla
Oh, it's like as toppings in front of you. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
You've never been to a Cold Stone Creamery?
Sasheer Zamata
I don't think so. Whoa.
Nicole Byer
And they used to humiliate their. The, the people who work there. And they'd have to sing. Oh, no. Oh, I wish. Oh, yeah. They go mix it. Right? Mix it.
Aparna Nancherla
Ice cream.
Nicole Byer
Just like you should.
Aparna Nancherla
No, like the witches in McPhee.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. And they sadly do it and sing for you.
Sasheer Zamata
They're creating a spell. Oh, no.
Nicole Byer
But you pick your base.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
So you start on this side, you pick your base, whatever ice cream you to want, want. And then there's a whole thing of mix ins. And you, you pick your mix ins. And then there's a cold stone.
Sasheer Zamata
Cold stone cream.
Nicole Byer
And they put it on that cold stone and they mix it all up.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, that's cool.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
All right.
Nicole Byer
Nice.
Aparna Nancherla
It's like the naughty version of sweet green.
Sasheer Zamata
Do you cook?
Aparna Nancherla
I wish I cooked more. I. I'm not, like, I. Especially as I've gotten older, I've turned into such a, like, takeout person. But I. Yeah. People who seem to, like, even find cooking therapeutic. I'm, like, so jealous of them because I'm like, what a good skill. And, like. And you reap immediate benefits from it. Yeah. Yeah. And when I have eaten in or, like, made something for myself, I am there. There is, like, a satisfaction. Yeah. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
If you were to have a dinner party, are you ordering the whole meal or would try cooking some?
Aparna Nancherla
I would order because I think the. The fear of humiliation is too great. And the. The fear of people eating it because they feel bad and they don't like it. Oh, excruciating.
Nicole Byer
I like to have people over, and I tell them to bring things.
Aparna Nancherla
That's smart. Potluck. Potluck. Yes. Yes.
Nicole Byer
That's fun.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I'll offer the space.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Other people can bring the food.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. Someone was telling me they recently went to a potluck where they took something. They were like, sorry, guys, it looks a little weird. I hope no one. Like, I hope you still eat it. And then no one ate it.
Nicole Byer
Oh, no.
Aparna Nancherla
Like, that's my fear. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. That would. That would rock me in a way that I'd be like, so I'll never bring another thing, ever. Ever. I just.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I don't cook anymore. Yeah. Because we spent time on it.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
And no one even tried.
Aparna Nancherla
I know.
Nicole Byer
I brought a cake out to a potluck that I knew was bad, and I was like, it's dry, y'. All. But everyone did a nice job of going, oh, the.
Sasheer Zamata
The.
Nicole Byer
The flavor.
Aparna Nancherla
Oh.
Nicole Byer
If you wet it up with water, it slides down. Which was, like, tough. But I was like, everyone's being really nice.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. That's so supportive.
Nicole Byer
And then everyone was like, what happened? I was like, well, I put it in the oven, and then I had to take a shower, so it really just dried out. But I'm gonna attempt to make that cake again.
Sasheer Zamata
Great.
Aparna Nancherla
I know we don't think the way.
Sasheer Zamata
You made it was the problem. I think the shower was really the. The thing that did you in.
Nicole Byer
I think so too. I'm gonna make two different cakes.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Aparna Nancherla
Ooh. Like dueling cakes.
Nicole Byer
Yes. I'm gonna make a pound cake because I love pound cake. And then Paula Deen makes this. God. What is it called? It's like, I don't know. It's a sweet. It's a sweet. It's got like a crust and then like filling on top. And it's really, really good.
Aparna Nancherla
Is it a pie in the pie cake?
Nicole Byer
No.
Aparna Nancherla
Okay. Okay.
Nicole Byer
Ah, shit.
Sasheer Zamata
Is that butter something?
Nicole Byer
Ooey gooey butter cake.
Aparna Nancherla
Wow.
Sasheer Zamata
Sasheer, I felt it.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, you really did. That's crazy.
Aparna Nancherla
Good. I just had something at Thanksgiving for the first time. I went to like, a potluck situation. It was called sugar cream pie.
Sasheer Zamata
That sounds good.
Aparna Nancherla
It was so good.
Nicole Byer
What?
Aparna Nancherla
Sugar cream pie? I think it was like a. It sounds like a pie version of ooey gooey buttercake. It's just like buttercream and sugar is the film. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
That's nice.
Aparna Nancherla
I know, I know. And it's always funny when everyone's like, oh, well, this one you gotta go easy on because it's pretty sweet. And I'm like. Seems just right.
Nicole Byer
I agree. Sweet things. Oh, I could suck em down.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I'm gonna try to make these like, like apple marshmallows.
Aparna Nancherla
What?
Sasheer Zamata
Where you just like parna. What?
Aparna Nancherla
I love apple flavor so much. I feel like it's not utilized enough.
Nicole Byer
It's a good point.
Sasheer Zamata
It's like, only brought out around fall.
Aparna Nancherla
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
Like apple cider.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, Apple cider.
Nicole Byer
Caramel apples.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. But I've never heard of it with marshmallow.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. What is it?
Sasheer Zamata
So you blend up the apples or like puree them or whatever, and then you get gelatin, mix it in there, and you can add sugar and honey or whatever you want. And then you, I guess, put it in a tray and let it cool.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. And then that's it.
Aparna Nancherla
Yum.
Nicole Byer
And why? Because I. I've just never known you to be an apple head or a marshmallow queen. You're.
Sasheer Zamata
That's true. Because it looked easy.
Aparna Nancherla
Now, where do you see this? Did you see this on, like, TikTok?
Nicole Byer
Okay.
Aparna Nancherla
Because that is also how I get lured in. Like, I'm following all these. Like, I found this diner in Bushwick that just like, posts photos of their cakes.
Sasheer Zamata
Ooh.
Aparna Nancherla
And it's always like, they do like, different versions of Tiramisu's, like, different flavors. And they just. Every time they make a new one, they just show. They just plop it in a sundae bowl, like, almost like, violently. And then it like, drips down the sides and I'm like. It feels like I'm watching porn.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. That is like food porn. There's a man on Instagram who like, slaps meat around and it is like, it's, it's overtly sexual in a way where I'm like, stop it.
Aparna Nancherla
I know.
Nicole Byer
Leave it alone.
Aparna Nancherla
Stop it.
Nicole Byer
It's dead chicken. Leave it alone. And it like spread like the legs of like a turkey open and you're, it's so jarring. Yeah, but I can't stop watching when, when I see them.
Aparna Nancherla
But yeah, see when I see those videos I'm sort of like, well, I could never do that. So I, I, I, I applaud you for being like, I'm going to try.
Sasheer Zamata
Thank you. Yeah, they really mostly got me cuz they're like, you only need two ingredients and you can add more if you wanted to. And I was like, I can handle two ingredients.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Are you going to bring them out? Are you going to munch them by yourself at home? You going to bring them? You going to bring them out? Am I going to get a sampling? Go bring them out. You might get, I might bring them out. Okay.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't know how many I will make.
Nicole Byer
I actually like also I didn't like.
Sasheer Zamata
Study the recipe so I went to the grocery store and bought like got like eight apples and two boxes of gelatin. I was like, okay, we'll see. I'll like look at the details later.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah, yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
So I have the supplies and I don't know how much that makes. Okay. But hopefully a lot.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. I believe in this project.
Nicole Byer
I believe in it too. I bought yeast to make pizza.
Aparna Nancherla
Ooh, do you ever need piece for pizza?
Nicole Byer
I don't know.
Sasheer Zamata
I was like, does it need to rise?
Aparna Nancherla
I don't know. Maybe. Yeah, maybe.
Nicole Byer
I was in the grocery store and I was like, yeast, I'll make pizza. And then I just bought it and.
Sasheer Zamata
Do you have other things to make pizza?
Nicole Byer
Pizza sauce.
Sasheer Zamata
Do you have like, like stuff to make dough?
Nicole Byer
I think that's what the yeast is for.
Sasheer Zamata
Do you put the yeast in it with flour or something?
Aparna Nancherla
I think so.
Nicole Byer
I think I have flour.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay, great.
Nicole Byer
I have flour. I think I have flour.
Aparna Nancherla
You do need the flour with the yeast.
Sasheer Zamata
Gotta put it with something.
Nicole Byer
I'm just tossing yeast up in really.
Sasheer Zamata
Event it turned into a crust.
Nicole Byer
I think, oh, I should have gotten flour. I have cheese.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. Oh my God.
Nicole Byer
Pizza sauce.
Sasheer Zamata
Halfway there, you're basically there.
Nicole Byer
I really want a homemade pizza.
Aparna Nancherla
I know all the people I know who make pizza are so intense about it. They have like their pizza stone, their pizza oven and granted they make beautiful pizzas. But it has always made me be like, oh, I don't know if I could.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, I don't want to be a pizza person.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I think I'm become a pizza person. I don't have a pizza stone. What? I don't even know what that is.
Aparna Nancherla
I don't know.
Sasheer Zamata
That's what you put in the oven, then you. That's where the pizza cooks. And then you need one of those slider things to, like, pick it up.
Aparna Nancherla
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I'm not running a shop.
Sasheer Zamata
I know.
Nicole Byer
That's the thing.
Aparna Nancherla
It makes you feel like you're buying a restaurant.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. All right. You'll be ready in a second.
Sasheer Zamata
What?
Nicole Byer
All right, I guess I'll go buy one. Nicole, we need more pizzas. All right, I'm coming.
Aparna Nancherla
I'm coming.
Nicole Byer
I'm like in a wife beater's dirt, and I'm like, Well, I think we have reached the end. I think so.
Sasheer Zamata
This was so fun.
Nicole Byer
Thank you so much, Aparna.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes. And when does your dropout special come out?
Aparna Nancherla
December 15th.
Sasheer Zamata
Nice.
Nicole Byer
So exciting. I'll be seated. I'll also be seated.
Aparna Nancherla
I will also be seated.
Nicole Byer
I don't know I said it like that. I'll be seated. Well, goodbye. Goodbye. Best Friends is a production of Headgun Studios.
Sasheer Zamata
Our producer is Ali Khan.
Nicole Byer
Our executive producer is Anya Konovskaya.
Sasheer Zamata
The show is edited, mixed, and engineered by Richelle Chen.
Nicole Byer
Hi, I'm Drew Ofewallo.
Sasheer Zamata
And I'm Daason Afualo.
Nicole Byer
And we host the Headgum podcast, Two Idiot Girls.
Sasheer Zamata
Each episode, we're discussing plenty of topics that you would be giggling at at a sleepover with your weird cousins.
Nicole Byer
We talk about all kinds of things, like weird dating, horror stor, maybe a really bad wedgie you had once or even a show you're loving and anything in between.
Sasheer Zamata
So you can listen to Two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube. New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.
Podcast: Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata
Release Date: January 21, 2026
Guest: Aparna Nancherla
This episode explores the nuanced, often hilarious complexities of adult friendship, personal growth, and the realities of creative life. Nicole, Sasheer, and guest Aparna Nancherla share vulnerabilities about maintaining friendships as adults, reminisce about formative experiences, discuss gift-giving, and engage in classic bits that highlight their unique chemistry—all through a lens of candid humor.
“It is kind of me emerging up from underground to be like, do you still like me? Do you still want to hear my jokes?”
— Aparna Nancherla (02:01)
“I started telling a joke... and in the middle of it I went, I don't know how this ends.”
— Nicole Byer (05:06)
“I've always felt nervous of being like, this is my best friend. Because then they'd be like, you're not even in my top eight.”
— Aparna Nancherla (07:51)
“I want to go and I want to stunt on those hoes and show them how well I've done.”
— Nicole Byer (10:33)
“Do you want to see me during the day? It's kind of like dating.”
— Nicole Byer (25:43)
“This is why you guys are best friends. You have shared hat language.”
— Aparna Nancherla (51:25)
"If you're signing up for, you know, maybe picking me up from my colonoscopy, so get ready for that."
— Aparna Nancherla (35:00)
“I just give them wine with a picture of me on it to remember who they're representing.”
— Nicole Byer (49:03)
The conversation is open, honest, and playfully self-deprecating, marked by quick-witted riffs, confessions of insecurity, and an inviting, intimate friendship. The comedic instincts of Nicole, Sasheer, and Aparna keep the pace lively and accessible, balancing sincerity with big laughs.
If you’re interested in the navigation of friendship as an adult, creative vulnerability, and behind-the-scenes glimpses of comedic life—served with sharp humor and heart—you’ll find this episode a delight.