Nicole and Sasheer's Excellent Adventure

Summary

Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata Episode: "Nicole and Sasheer's Excellent Adventure" Release Date: December 3, 2025

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Main Theme

In this delightfully meandering episode, Nicole and Sasheer catch up about their recent adventures together, aging and its quirks, odd self-care discoveries, musings about superhero side-hustles, and answer listener questions about friendship etiquette and bachelorette party planning. Their trademark warmth, candidness, and humor are on full display, offering listeners a joyful peek into the ongoing evolution of their friendship.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Reliving a Wild Night Out ("The Excellent Adventure")

• Nicole and Sasheer recount their "Bill and Ted excellent adventure" night out at dinner and a bar, feeling both "so old and young at the same time." (08:13)
• Hilarity at dinner when Nicole's jokes bombed with the server, but they found levity in the acceptance at a bar called High Tops. (06:04)
• Nicole gleefully discusses running in circles at the bar to demonstrate her "speedy shoes," much to the delight of Sasheer. (07:10)

Memorable Quote:
“Sometimes bits are for other people. But, like, I love these shoes so much. I was, like...”
— Nicole (07:36)

Aging: The Good, The Bad, and the Slower Recovery

• Both discuss how aging changes their tolerance for alcohol, physical resilience, and need for longer recovery. (17:00)
• Sasheer reminisces about wild NYC nights that would “appall” her now. (17:16)
• Nicole notes, "Just because I'm not hungover does not mean I'm youthful." (08:46)
• Sasheer embraces getting older as long as she's healthy: "I feel like I’m wiser and smarter and stronger." (19:23)

Creature Comforts: Animals, Plants, and Wild Urban Encounters

• A love for pets leads to tales of Nicole's dog Clyde’s edible mishaps and postpartum dog snuggles, while Sasheer updates on neutering her cat, Trix. (12:03–16:29)
• Both share animal-run-ins at home: bird deaths, dead mouse cleanups, and raccoon antics. Nicole concludes, "Raccoons are… They’re a wild little creature." (24:02)
• Humor about who in their friend circle is called in for dead creature disposal: “Jackson scooped a bird, a dead bird out of the pool...I just can't. I can't." — Nicole (21:38)

Self-Care: Butt Facials and Lotioning Habits

• Nicole is offered a “booty facial” and ponders its purpose. Sasheer is detailed about her skincare, applying lotion everywhere, which shocks Nicole.
• “Literally everywhere. Just anywhere there’s skin, I put lotion on it.” — Sasheer (32:53)
• Nicole admits to general neglect: “I've never put lotion on my torso.” (32:04)
• Incredulous, Sasheer asks about Nicole’s routine: “Where there is skin, there is lotion.” (33:26)
• Extended conversation about shower routines, with Nicole being a “long shower-er” for deep thinking (35:59).

Home Decor & Childhood Nostalgia

• Nicole bemoans boring home trends and champions fun vintage finds—especially her “giraffe family” of brass figurines. (40:11)
• Discussion of vintage lamp hunting in NY and the virtue of “bringing color and charm” to homes. (39:29)

Superheroes—Why Do They All Work?

• A comical audit of superhero side-hustles: Superman, Spiderman, Dr. Strange, Batman (“War Stuff”), and the X-Men are all moonlighting. (44:07–48:46)
• “Honestly, that's a commentary on the economy—yeah, that they have to have a job while they're saving the world.” — Nicole (47:22)
• Sasheer on selective superhero rescue: “If I know you…if you've been nice to me.” (44:21)

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Listener Questions

1. Explaining Yourself to "Delicate" Friends (55:41)

Emma writes: As a gay woman with mostly straight white male friends, how should she address their "delicate" egos when discussing her experiences?

• Nicole emphasizes repeatedly centering her story: “Well, from me and my experience…” (56:48)
• Sasheer suggests, “You might not get it because you’re not a gay lady, and that's okay…You don’t have to get it, you can just hear me.” (57:10)
• They joke about men’s unfamiliarity with certain female experiences, segueing into a playful tangent about the fragility and externality of male anatomy. (57:49–59:11)

2. Bachelorette Party Planning for Each Other (60:04)

Rebecca asks: What would Nicole and Sasheer dream up for each other's bachelorette parties?

• Sasheer: Rent a fun house—race car track, water park, or both; petting zoo; drag show; vintage shopping; ATVs. (60:07–62:29)
• Nicole: Hot dog cart, a stripper dressed as “Goofy Movie” characters Max/Roxanne, chef, cute house, brunch, and clothes optional vintage fair. (60:33–62:03)
• Both agree: “We should just do that anyway.” (62:47)

3. On Turning 40—Celebration Plans (62:54)

• Sasheer: Plans to visit Okinawa, Japan, where she was born. (62:56)
• Nicole: Wants to throw a funeral-themed party where friends give eulogies while she lounge in a casket, citing the merits of celebration while living. (63:14)
• Discussion of the logistics: “Can you rent a casket?” (63:49)
• Hilarity about “dancing pallbearers” and bottle service “popping out of caskets” at clubs. (64:28–65:16)

4. Comfortable Ending to Location-Sharing Friendships (65:34)

Writer shares pain over a drifting friendship and feeling hurt by seeing the friend traveling without them.

• Sasheer: Validates the hurt, encourages removing the friend to protect one's feelings: “For your own protection…” (67:09)
• Nicole: Suggests honesty—“I'm sorry, it wasn't a glitch. We're not as close,” and stresses, “When someone shows you they're a bad friend, they're telling you the truth.” (68:04–69:29)
• Both agree: "Un-find my friend them." (69:44)

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Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• Nicole, on running off at the bar:
  “You didn’t even look back to see if I was watching. She was just going.” (07:10)

• Nicole, on not being in her 20s anymore:
  “I started laughing because I was like, well, I’m not hungover. I feel like I’m in my 20s again. And then had to rest my head against the shower and I went, I’m not in my 20s.” (08:36)

• Sasheer, on pets high on edibles:
  “Animals when they're high are pretty funny. Don't know what's going on.” (14:40)

• Nicole, on superhero economics:
  “Honestly, that’s a commentary on the economy… that they have to keep a job for income while they're saving the world.” (47:22)

• Sasheer, on being a people-pleaser:
  “But I’m definitely not going to stay out if I don’t want to. I’m not like, Nicole needs me to stay out here, so I gotta stay. No. I’ll go home if I’m tired.” (54:44)

• Nicole, reflecting on friendship honesty:
  “When someone shows you they’re a bad friend, they’re telling you the truth.” (69:29)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [06:04] Nicole’s dinner joke fails & bar stories
• [07:10] Nicole demonstrates her speedy shoes
• [08:46] Not being young just because not hungover
• [12:03] Reunited with dog Clyde, pet stories
• [14:43] Pets and accidental edible ingestion
• [19:23] Embracing the wisdom of aging
• [32:04] Skincare routines: the “full body lotioning” debate
• [39:29] How to bring color and charm back to homes
• [44:07–49:09] Superheroes and their side jobs
• [55:41–57:34] Advice on delicate friends and sharing from personal experience
• [60:07–62:50] Bachelorette party dream planning for each other
• [63:14] Nicole’s 40th birthday funeral plan
• [65:34–69:59] Ending location sharing with a drifting friend

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Tone and Vibe

The episode is a relaxed, meandering, and joyfully candid conversation between longtime friends. Nicole and Sasheer are self-effacing, warm, sometimes mischievous, and openly affectionate—never shying away from gentle ribbing, personal sharing, or big, silly laughs.

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Conclusion

This episode is quintessential "Best Friends": candid, funny, occasionally poignant, with discussions that swing between the ridiculous (raccoon gymnastics, butt facials, superhero jobs) and the genuinely helpful (friendship advice, self-care routines, open conversations about growing older and changing priorities).

Whether reminiscing about wild nights out, musing about moisturizers, or offering wise and witty advice to listeners, Nicole and Sasheer deliver a soulful and laugh-out-loud weekly ritual of friendship.

Transcript

[Nicole]

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[Sashir]

Yeah, they're great.

[Nicole]

When I first started dating that nice man in my life, I was like, what was your favorite band in high school? I'll go first. Limp Bizkit. And he said, why didn't you just lie?

[Sashir]

And I was like, oh no. Cause he thinks it's embarrassing, I guess. What the hell?

[Nicole]

I'm a proud Limp Bizkiter.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And we went to Slovakia. It's not called that. It's North Slovang. Yes. Slovang. And we played Significant Other, which is my favorite Limp Bizkit album, on the way up. And then when we were driving back, I was. This feels. There we go. I was like, should we listen to Significant Other again? And he was like, no. And then I went, okay. And I put it on. And then he just started skipping the songs.

[Sashir]

Like, all of the songs.

[Nicole]

Yeah. So the album would be done. He was like, I guess we have to listen to something else.

[Sashir]

Rude.

[Nicole]

But I get it.

[Sashir]

Yeah. He let me listen to it the whole way.

[Nicole]

Like, not the whole way, but at least once or twice through on the way there.

[Sashir]

Do you listen to albums and songs, like, in repeat, like, over and over again? Yeah, same. But I feel like. I don't know if everyone does that, though. Like, I'll get in a mood where I'm just like, I only want to listen to tell our creator over and over again.

[Nicole]

I. Here's the wildest thing. I think everybody is the same until I'm told different. I thought everybody used mouthwash every single day, and apparently people don't.

[Sashir]

Yeah, I don't.

[Nicole]

Do you guys use mouthwash every day?

[Sashir]

I do.

[Ali]

Yeah, I do.

[Nicole]

Oh, this is crazy. I thought you would say no, because a lot of people tell me no.

[Sashir]

You're in the majority here.

[Nicole]

I guess I'm in the majority.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Finally. I'm a majority. Yeah. I'm a majority.

[Sashir]

You are a majority.

[Nicole]

Do you guys listen to songs over and over and over again?

[Ali]

Oh, yeah. Mine's right now. The Lily album.

[Sashir]

Lily album. Album. It should have been in the Lily album.

[Nicole]

The Lily album. She really missed out.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Mine's rent, and I've been. Now it's been rent. But I'm not listening to it in order. I'm listening to it on shuffle. It is in opera. In order is the play. So I'm just all over the place with it.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And I'm. I've been really liking it sometimes. I'll cover you. Reprise happens before I'll cover you.

[Sashir]

Oh, my God.

[Nicole]

Angel's dead. And then Angel's alive.

[Sashir]

And I'm like, what a whirlwind.

[Nicole]

It's crazy.

[Sashir]

That's funny.

[Nicole]

Also. Okay. In your old age, you like birds more?

[Sashir]

I do like birds more. Yeah.

[Nicole]

I love birds.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

What about plants?

[Sashir]

I do like plants more. Yeah.

[Nicole]

I, on the way here, pulled over my car to steal flowers that I liked.

[Sashir]

My mom does that all the time.

[Nicole]

But then I felt weird because there was somebody walking their dog. So then I put them back in the bush.

[Sashir]

Did you already take them out? Yes.

[Nicole]

And then I put them back in the bush.

[Sashir]

They're just, like, dead in the bush.

[Nicole]

Yeah. And I'm sure it was weirder if I had just. I think it was weirder that I put them back in. I should have just taken them.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And I was also late. Like, I was like, what am I doing? I'm wearing a leopard print raincoat, stealing flowers, putting them back in, talking to myself. I was like, I'm late.

[Sashir]

That's really funny.

[Nicole]

Boy, today's been a day. We had a. A Bill and Ted excellent adventure last night. We did.

[Sashir]

We went out.

[Nicole]

I've never seen that movie.

[Sashir]

I have seen that movie, but I don't remember anything about it.

[Nicole]

Well, it's probably just, like, our night out.

[Sashir]

Definitely.

[Nicole]

We went to dinner where the server wanted nothing to do with me.

[Sashir]

Well, I think you were just, like, putting jokes out, and she just didn't know what to do with them.

[Nicole]

Okay. If you're a server. And Sashira goes, I would like orange wine. And then I go, let's get funky. Thank you. Thank you. She didn't laugh. And then I said it again. Then I said it to the man.

[Sashir]

Who picked up the plates, and louder. And she.

[Nicole]

She didn't like it. Nobody bit. I was, like, really upset.

[Sashir]

Maybe she wanted to be in our business.

[Nicole]

Maybe. But I think I, like, looked at her and went, let's get funky.

[Sashir]

Yeah. It broke my heart, politely smiled, and walked away. Yeah.

[Nicole]

I think she did one of these and then left.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And then when she poured the wine, I called it back, and she still didn't laugh.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But then we went to High Tops, where I was accepted. I shuffled off a buffaloed. I ran around.

[Sashir]

We did a lot.

[Nicole]

We.

[Sashir]

Yeah, we were tap dancing. We were talking to so many people. So many people.

[Nicole]

I think at one point, I was running around in circles, like, actual circles.

[Sashir]

Because I like my shoes. Yeah, you. You were saying how speedy your shoes feel and look. And then you gave an example and started, like, fake running to the bathroom. And then you actually got into a sprint. I was like, oh, she's actually running. And you didn't even look back to see if I was watching. I was like, she was fully running. This is not even for me anymore. She's just going.

[Nicole]

Sometimes bits are for other people. But, like, I love these shoes so much. I was, like.

[Sashir]

Moving.

[Nicole]

And then when I got to the bathroom, I couldn't stop laughing. Cause I was like, you were really running.

[Sashir]

You were really running. It was so funny. It was like Just like, first a little trot. And I was like, oh, how funny.

[Nicole]

I was like, whoa.

[Sashir]

And then you just changed gait and it was like an actual run.

[Nicole]

And then I kept being like, it's like we've never been outside.

[Sashir]

I know. It was really funny.

[Nicole]

It really did feel like I had never been to a bar before. I felt so old and young at the same time. I was running around but then saying things that were like old ladies say, oh, my God, what a time. What a time to be alive.

[Sashir]

It was good. We were like, we're going to go out. And we did. And now I feel a little slow today.

[Nicole]

I feel so slow, it's crazy.

[Sashir]

Yes.

[Nicole]

I was in the shower and I started laughing because I was like, well, I'm not hungover. I feel like I'm in my 20s again. And then had to rest my head against the shower and I went, I'm not in my 20s.

[Sashir]

That's really funny.

[Nicole]

Just because I'm not hungover does not mean I'm youthful.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Oh, my goodness.

[Sashir]

I don't have a headache or anything. I don't feel sick. But, yeah, I was just like. Like a little.

[Nicole]

Well, it didn't help that there's. The sky opened up and started spitting at us.

[Sashir]

Rain. Yeah, rain is happening.

[Nicole]

I don't like the rain. I can't stand the rain on my window.

[Sashir]

I did. I told you. I put a, like, awning sun cover on my roof deck. And then I sat out there and listened to the rain, and it was so nice.

[Nicole]

That's really nice.

[Sashir]

Oh, maybe you should sit outside somewhere. Maybe undercover.

[Nicole]

Undercover?

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Undercover. Hey, rain. I see you. Yeah, maybe I will. Maybe it'll be nice to, like, read a book because I played on my phone for too long today.

[Sashir]

I feel like I'm inside and it's raining. It's like. But if I'm outside, I'm like, wow, how romantic. You know?

[Nicole]

Oh, maybe I'll make that nice, man. Kiss me in the rain. Do it.

[Sashir]

Do it.

[Nicole]

I've never been kissed in the rain. Oh, have you been kissed in the rain?

[Sashir]

Have I been kissed in the rain? Like, with rain's raining on you?

[Nicole]

No, just like rain near you. I feel like that's romantic.

[Sashir]

It's very romantic.

[Nicole]

Like a nice, warm, light glow from somewhere at night with the rain and smooches.

[Sashir]

Oh, I guess. Have I been kissed the rain? Maybe. I think so. But now I want to make it a point.

[Nicole]

I want to have a memorable kiss in the rain. Yeah.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

I think I'm Going to do that tonight.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

She going to be like, why?

[Sashir]

Like, come over.

[Nicole]

Come on over. Be romantic with me. Well, we are getting lasagna tonight.

[Sashir]

Okay.

[Nicole]

I'm so excited to get my fill.

[Sashir]

You got to get that lasagna.

[Nicole]

There's also a place, I think it's called Capri Club. They also have a pretty decent lasagna.

[Sashir]

Ooh, I haven't had it.

[Nicole]

I think we should make a exodus there. No. Pilgrimage.

[Sashir]

Expedition.

[Nicole]

Pilgrimage. Expedition's also a very good word.

[Sashir]

Yeah, let's do that. Oh.

[Nicole]

What did I have to tell you?

[Sashir]

Oh, shit.

[Nicole]

I can't remember. This is tough.

[Sashir]

Did this thought just come today?

[Nicole]

Oh, it just came right now and then it left almost immediately.

[Sashir]

Yeah, it's okay. Oh, boy, oh, boy.

[Nicole]

I went right to sleep. Oh, I wanted to text you, but I, like, picked up my phone and I went, oh. And then fell right asleep last night. Yeah, I wanted to text you. I don't have a car. I don't have a dog. I'm Whitney Houston. I have nothing.

[Sashir]

I have nothing. Nothing. That's really funny.

[Nicole]

I fell asleep laughing. But you know, like, sometimes when you're like, oh, I gotta go to sleep. You're like, oh, I simply can't lift my phone up again to do anything. I'm really glad I remembered that.

[Sashir]

I'm GL told me it's very funny.

[Nicole]

It made me laugh so hard. I was like, I got to tell her. And I was like, I'll have to tell her in the morning.

[Sashir]

I'm glad he did.

[Nicole]

I went and scooped up Clyde. I missed him so much. Yeah. I love him so much.

[Sashir]

Does he freak out when you pick him up?

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

He's so excited to see me and it feels so good.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And then usually he'll. If I'm like. Cuz I tried to go back to sleep after I picked him up, he'll sleep at the end of the bed, but then he snuggled with me. Oh. When he's a little snuggle bunny, it really means he missed me. And I was like, and I missed you. Am I gonna cry? I start sobbing about my dog.

[Sashir]

You love him.

[Nicole]

I really love him. And sometimes during shows. Not sometimes I do a joke about him and I'll be like, my dog, Clyde. And sometimes he gets an applause break. I was like, if only he knew.

[Sashir]

You should tell him.

[Nicole]

Let him know. I did tell him. He just went.

[Sashir]

He's like, I don't understand.

[Nicole]

He's like, you didn't say walk. You didn't say treat. You didn't say dinner. I don't know what the you're saying.

[Sashir]

He's like, who are these people? Your fans?

[Nicole]

There was a time he ran out on stage once and people cheered and then he got so scared. Oh, imagine.

[Sashir]

I mean, it's very overwhelming.

[Nicole]

You've never been on stage before, right?

[Sashir]

There's so many people and they're all.

[Nicole]

Clapping and yelling at you.

[Sashir]

Yeah. Like, this is a confusing message. Are they mad? Did I do something wrong?

[Nicole]

Isn't that funny? That should be scary.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Getting on a stage and having people like, whooping and hollering at you should be terrifying. And I'm like, I like it.

[Sashir]

I love it.

[Nicole]

Give me more of that. Give me, give me more, give me more, more.

[Sashir]

We just neutered Trix, our cat.

[Nicole]

Uh huh.

[Sashir]

And I think he knew. I think he knew it was coming. He was mad. He was like screaming in the little case in the car.

[Nicole]

Oh, no.

[Sashir]

And then. But now he's like, chill, but might be the drugs probably. And he has like a little, like a little cone. It's not a cone. Or I guess it's like a tube. Like a donut.

[Nicole]

Oh.

[Sashir]

Around his fun. Yeah.

[Nicole]

The dude I was dating years and years ago, I took his dog to get neutered. And that dog was so nice. The staff was like, he's the best. And I was like, I know he's the best. And then I brought him home and then he just stood there on the couch and stared at the wall. And I was like, buddy, are you okay? And then he was shivering, so then I put a blanket on him, but he was still standing. And then he finally like laid down and then we cuddled and I was like, are you okay?

[Sashir]

Animals when they're high are pretty funny. Don't know what's going on.

[Nicole]

They simply don't happening to me. Clyde ate an edible once, twice, three times he's eaten an edible.

[Sashir]

Really?

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sashir]

Oh, God.

[Nicole]

And neither time was my fault, I don't think. Yeah, he ate weed on a walk. Yeah, because we didn't have weed at the house at the time. He ate it on a walk. And then he came back and truly was like, what are trees? Like, what is everything? He kept like staring at things and being like. And then he would get up on his hind legs and just pee a little. And I was like, what? And then I tried to give him a treat and it just fell out of his mouth. And I was like, he's dying. He loves treats. And then the vet immediately was like, he's just Stoned. I was like, okay. The second time, I had weed. Like, weed chocolates. And they were in a package at the bottom of my backpack.

[Sashir]

Crazy.

[Nicole]

And this dog climbed into the backpack, moved things around with his little paws, grabbed them, opened them up, and ate them. And then John, when John was living with me, he was like, clyde's high again. And, like, on cue, he came, like, sliding into the room and was like. And then we just, like, had a h. Like, hold him and, you know, just, like, pet him and keep him wrapped up. And then the third time, I don't remember how he got it, but he was stoned again.

[Sashir]

Wow.

[Nicole]

He's a little. He's a bad boy. Just getting high all the time.

[Sashir]

He's getting influenced. He's having. Are there bad influences at his camp?

[Nicole]

Maybe. Maybe a doggy daycare. Like, one of the dogs is like, hey, man, you want to get high?

[Sashir]

And Clyde was like, huh, I guess. I'll. I'll try it.

[Nicole]

I'll try it. I'll get high by myself. He's such a little silly billy.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Wait, so. Oh, never mind. I know what neutering is. I was like, wait, what is neutering for a cat? And then I was like, the same thing as neutering for a dog. Oh, my God. Sometimes I worry about this brain.

[Sashir]

It's okay. We're also running on a slower speed today, Sasheer.

[Nicole]

But we could do this multiple days in a row.

[Sashir]

That's really crazy to think about that my body could take. Could drink this much alcohol. Yes. And be fine.

[Nicole]

And just be fine the next day. More alcohol. I used to drink a lot more same. And then would just be like, doop, do, do, do, do, do, do. That's crazy.

[Sashir]

It's crazy. I told you. I went to McManus with Alan in New York, and it was, like, fun to reminisce and be. I was like, ah. Over there. I remember standing in front of our friend Phil and being way too drunk and him being like, are you okay? And over there, I remember Nicole and I were just staring at each other, dancing. Again, way too drunk. Just all these haunting memories of being way too drunk in that place.

[Nicole]

That's really funny. Yeah. We were, like, bopping and staring at one another. And I think I was like, I gotta go.

[Sashir]

Yes.

[Nicole]

I can't be here anymore.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

The way I used to live appalls me now. Cause I would like, especially when I first moved out here. Cause I was touring a lot, so I would do shows, drink a ton after these shows. And Then get on a plane at 6:00am yeah. And then drink on the plane, land, take a nap, do a show, and then do the same thing ever. Like, yeah, I can't get a shit based. And then getting on a plane at 6A tough. That's crazy.

[Sashir]

But maybe because we were doing it regularly, it was like our bodies were used to it.

[Nicole]

Maybe. I don't.

[Sashir]

I don't know. We were younger.

[Nicole]

Yeah. I think it was just. We were younger and I think when you get older, the alcohol is just. Is bad. It's poison.

[Sashir]

It's poison.

[Nicole]

Poison. And I love it because last Christmas I was spending with that nice man and his family and we were playing like a drinking game. And like during the game, I was fine. After dinner, I was fine. The next day I was wrecked.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

I was like, oh, my God, I think I might die. And then we drank again that night. And then the next one, I was like, I think this is. I gotta figure out a happy medium.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Yeah, it's tough. It's tough in these streets.

[Sashir]

Tough.

[Nicole]

I don't want to, like, get old, but also, I guess it's okay.

[Sashir]

I like it.

[Nicole]

Do you?

[Sashir]

I mean, as long as I'm healthy. But yeah, I do like getting older. I like. I feel like I'm wiser and smarter and stronger.

[Nicole]

Faster. Stronger.

[Sashir]

I'm definitely not faster.

[Nicole]

I don't know if I like it. My knee hurts today. Yeah. From dancing a little and running a little. And then like the rain started out. I was like, oh. It's like amplified from the rain. I had to go down the stairs one foot at a time.

[Sashir]

Oh, no.

[Nicole]

I was like, ugh. Cause I was like, I don't want to slip and hurt myself more.

[Sashir]

Oh, my goodness.

[Nicole]

Getting old's for the birds.

[Sashir]

It's true. Oh, my gosh. A bird died in front of my house. I just saw the carcass. I think maybe it hit the window, but. Oh, no. It's really unclear because it's not like. Like there's not a clear path. That makes sense to me how this bird could have directly hit the window because it's like. Like close to the ground and like there's trees right in front of it. But yeah, there was a. There was a dead bird.

[Nicole]

That's sad. Did you remove it?

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

You did it. I did. Whoa.

[Sashir]

I swept into a dustpan and then just put it in the trash.

[Nicole]

Whoa.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

You're a man.

[Sashir]

I have had dead animals around outside and had called people because I'm like, ew, yucky. Y' all handle that. But I was like, I mean, it's not going anywhere. It's really dead, and I'd rather get it out of here before it starts, like, getting maggots and stuff.

[Nicole]

Yeah. I had a dead bird on my fountain, and then the other birds were just drinking the water. And I was like, guys, that's your friend. Like, go to a different fountain.

[Sashir]

Like, that was flavored different.

[Nicole]

Ew. But then the fountain man was like, you know, I got a dead bird out there.

[Sashir]

And I was like, can you handle it?

[Nicole]

I said, oh, no. Really?

[Sashir]

In the fountain? Sounds like your jurisdiction.

[Nicole]

Right? So he got rid of it.

[Sashir]

Recently.

[Nicole]

There was a dead mouse in the driveway. I, like, simply couldn't handle it. So then John had to come over while he was on his way to the gym, so he stopped over to sweep it up and dispose of it.

[Sashir]

It's also funny. I feel like I wouldn't imagine John's more equipped to do that. Yup.

[Nicole]

Yup. Jackson scooped a bird, a dead bird out of the pool. Wow. Yeah, they. And then meatball once came over, or meatball's boyfriend at the time came over to sweep a dead cockroach out of the garage.

[Sashir]

That's really.

[Nicole]

I just can't. I can't. And I know I've told this story. I go, once got by a possum.

[Sashir]

That's true.

[Nicole]

But a possum died. It was playing dead. I called a whole ass man to come scoop him because I was like, well, that's a big animal. I don't. Yeah, I don't think a friend can handle. He said, where's it at?

[Sashir]

And I said, oh, it's rude.

[Nicole]

I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And then that man was like, I think it. I think it was playing dead. And I was like, oh, yeah, you think it was playing dead? Humiliating.

[Sashir]

But, like, when you saw it, it already looked dead, right?

[Nicole]

Or did it.

[Sashir]

Did it look. Did it die, quote, unquote, in front of you?

[Nicole]

No, no, no. When I walked past it, it was just, like, dead.

[Sashir]

But wait, isn't that supposed to be a reaction to a predator?

[Nicole]

I think it heard me coming up the stairs and was like. And then my dumbass was like, oh, my God. Yeah. Just humiliating. Oh, my God. I saw the great raccoon who lives in my backyard. The great raccoon.

[Sashir]

It's huge.

[Nicole]

It's like a fucking horse.

[Sashir]

Oh, my God.

[Nicole]

It's so big.

[Sashir]

Whoa.

[Nicole]

And it falls. It's really funny. So it, like, tries kind of. It Tries to, like, weave through the bushes and then sometimes it can't and it'll like, tumble back.

[Sashir]

Pretty funny.

[Nicole]

I love him.

[Sashir]

The great raccoon.

[Nicole]

I love the great raccoon.

[Sashir]

Is he by himself?

[Nicole]

Yeah. I don't know if he's the same or part of the family that used to come and take baths in the.

[Sashir]

Pool, but they'd like their little hands.

[Nicole]

And I would just be like, laughing inside as they wash their little hands.

[Sashir]

They gotta keep them clean. They use them for so much. They gotta keep their hands clean because they use them for so much.

[Nicole]

They do. Raccoons are. They're a wild little creature.

[Sashir]

They're pretty wild looking.

[Nicole]

They're like real animal looking. But then they have those hands.

[Sashir]

Yeah, I don't like it.

[Nicole]

I don't like it either.

[Sashir]

One time I saw a raccoon, like, climbing down a fence upside down, like, head towards the ground. It was just like Tom Cruise, like, going down this fence. I was like, why? What's happening?

[Nicole]

That is wild. Yeah. Why would you. That's why. That way I would go ass first in case I fall down.

[Sashir]

Exactly.

[Nicole]

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[Sashir]

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[Nicole]

Speaking of ass first, this company reached out to me and asked me if I wanted a booty facial.

[Sashir]

What is that?

[Nicole]

I don't know. And I did not inspect it any further. It was. They just offer booty facials. Like maybe they exfoliate your butt.

[Sashir]

Yeah, I like, put creams on it.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Do you.

[Sashir]

Should I. Let's look up booty facials. And would it be a bushel? Because the facial is for your face.

[Nicole]

Yes, a facial is for your face. Oh, I hit my time limit on Instagram. I had to ask for more time.

[Sashir]

Please Instagram let me have more time.

[Nicole]

So it's Bumby Bumby Beauty, and they're in downtown LA and they specialize in booty facials.

[Sashir]

Wow.

[Nicole]

And. Oh, it's a little pricey. 200.

[Sashir]

I mean, that's about the price of a facial.

[Nicole]

Oh. So, yeah, they just seem to. Oh, they wax it a little bit. Oh, wow. Yeah. And I guess they, like, rub stuff on it. Should I go get a booty facial?

[Sashir]

Try it out? Maybe you want.

[Nicole]

Do you want to come with me?

[Sashir]

Sure. I don't want to get waxed, though. I'll get a rub down.

[Nicole]

Do you. Does your butt have hair on it? Is it a hairy butt? I don't think.

[Sashir]

I guess. I don't know. I don't think so. I guess I don't really like.

[Nicole]

It probably has, like, peach fuzz.

[Sashir]

Peach fuzz? Yeah.

[Nicole]

Wait, you don't. You're not touching your butt all the time?

[Sashir]

I do touch my butt. Yeah. When I, like, put lotion on, but.

[Nicole]

Lotion on your butt?

[Sashir]

If I'm putting lotion on my body. Yeah. Do you skip your butt?

[Nicole]

Yeah, I've nip. I've never put lotion on my butt.

[Sashir]

Where do you put lotion?

[Nicole]

I put lotion on my legs.

[Sashir]

Okay.

[Nicole]

Usually. I mean, I don't often Put lotion on my legs?

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Only in the summer, really, when they're, like, out. And I should be doing it more in the winter because they, like. I look like a real reptile right now. But I usually stop at the thigh and then my arms.

[Sashir]

Not even your torso?

[Nicole]

No. Oh, I have never put lotion on my torso.

[Sashir]

Never?

[Nicole]

No. My torso is never ashy.

[Sashir]

I guess my torso is not ashy either, but it's just, like, to moisturize so that my skin stays, like, softer, longer.

[Nicole]

Does everyone do that? Everyone puts lotion on their torsos.

[Sashir]

Am I back?

[Nicole]

How are you reaching?

[Sashir]

What? Just, like, reach my back Different. Whatever I can reach.

[Nicole]

I'm blown away. Me too. On your butt and your.

[Sashir]

Like, just. Yeah. Literally everywhere. Just anywhere there's skin, I put lotion on it.

[Nicole]

That's crazy.

[Sashir]

But I feel like, you know, because we put moisturizer on our face. Yes. I put moisturizer on my face because I don't want wrinkles. Mm. That's how I feel about my body, too. I don't want a wrinkly chest. I don't want a wrinkly butt. I don't want wrinkly thighs. I don't want wrinkly triceps. I put lotion everywhere, so it's all moisturized.

[Nicole]

You're going up under here.

[Sashir]

Where there is skin, there is lotion everywhere.

[Nicole]

That's so cr. Whoa. How long does it take you to get ready?

[Sashir]

Like, hardly any time. It's. I'm not, like, massaging it in there for, like, seconds. It's just, like, you know, I'm just putting it on.

[Nicole]

I think I gotta, like, get a routine or something, if you want. I'm always rushing. So, like, lotion is the thing that, like, I'm like, whatever.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Like, when I take off my pants, like, I'm gonna look wild because I only have lotion on this little part of my ankle.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

That's funny.

[Sashir]

I mean, I do. I feel, like, too, like, dry if I. If I take a shower and then don't put lotion on after. But I also wonder if that's because my skin's dependent on lotion now.

[Nicole]

Mmm. I mean, I feel dry all the time.

[Sashir]

You just go with it.

[Nicole]

And I just live my life like that.

[Sashir]

You're like, Yep. Just dry?

[Nicole]

Yeah. Cause I'm strong.

[Sashir]

You don't have to live that way.

[Nicole]

I know.

[Sashir]

You could just moisturize.

[Nicole]

It's okay. I'm gonna start.

[Sashir]

Give it a try. See if you like it.

[Nicole]

I'm gonna start moisturizing yeah. Also. Okay, if you have to be somewhere at 2pm, what time are you getting ready?

[Sashir]

Well, today.

[Nicole]

Okay, you have to be somewhere at 2pm it takes you 10 minutes to get there. What time are you getting ready?

[Sashir]

Takes me 10 minutes to get there. I would probably get ready. Well, I should get ready at 1:20.

[Nicole]

So it. And you're gonna leave it 1:20. You have to be there at 2pm so it only takes you 30 minutes to get ready?

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

With all the lotioning.

[Sashir]

Yeah, Yeah. I can take a quick shower. Lotion, do my makeup, get in the car.

[Nicole]

This is crazy. I need, like, an hour, like, minimum to get ready.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Do you never get lost in your thoughts in the shower?

[Sashir]

Not in the shower. I get mostly lost in my closet.

[Nicole]

Because I'm like, what do I wear?

[Sashir]

But in the shower, I can take a pretty quick, quick shower.

[Nicole]

I'm a long showerer. Because I really be thinking.

[Sashir]

Yeah. What you be thinking about?

[Nicole]

Everything.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Sometimes I think about jokes. Sometimes I think about how I want to word something to somebody, which is useless.

[Sashir]

What do you mean?

[Nicole]

Whenever I rehearse what I'm gonna say to somebody, they always say something I'm not expecting. And then I go, well, this conversation's now null and void because this isn't what I thought.

[Sashir]

Like, didn't you get the script? You don't say that.

[Nicole]

Maybe I should hand out scripts to people.

[Sashir]

Okay, so this is what I say.

[Nicole]

This is how I'd like this conversation to go.

[Sashir]

I mean, you can also just say what you have to say, and then they respond. However, we gotta, like, have space in between what you have you want to say for their response.

[Nicole]

I mean, sure, but, like, you've never rehearsed, like, a conversation.

[Sashir]

Definitely. Yeah.

[Nicole]

And then what happens when you have the conversation and it doesn't go the way you thought it was gonna go? Do you get really thrown?

[Sashir]

I guess. Well, I guess when I. If there's something I intentionally I want to say to somebody, I just say the whole thing as opposed to thinking this is. I mean, like, it will become a conversation because they're going to respond to it, but I just say all my thoughts and then they respond, and then we continue to have a conversation that I probably didn't rehearse because I think.

[Nicole]

I got to start doing that, saying all the thoughts and then being like, your turn.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Wow, this is pretty good. Yeah, I'm learning. I'm learning and grooving.

[Sashir]

I saw in a friend's shower a little. They had, like, a Shower notepad where you can, like, write your thoughts down when you're in there.

[Nicole]

I used to have one, but then I would return to the thought and be like, what is gorillas shopping? Like, it would just be random things that didn't make any sort of sense. So I abandoned it.

[Sashir]

I see. Maybe a little voice recorder. Oh, talk it out.

[Nicole]

Yeah, that might be nice. Speaking of showers, I had a huge crack in my shower years ago, and I had to retile it. I wish I knew that you could save tiles. I didn't know that at the time. And the lady who was helping me, the interior decorator, didn't tell me. Yeah, I was like, oh, I wish I could just reuse, like, these tiles. And she was like, yeah.

[Sashir]

Oh, no.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

So where are they? Just took the tiles?

[Nicole]

Well, I, I, I don't know. They might have just taken the tile or just, like, did a, Like, a full demo where they, like, smash the tiles out.

[Sashir]

Yeah. Well, does it take a lot longer to, like, individually take the tiles out?

[Nicole]

Yes, it takes a lot, lot longer. But those. They were tiles from the 1930s.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And them then. We've talked about this before, because I'm on the bad side of Instagram where I see bad remodels. I was like, maybe people don't know that they can salvage tile. Or do you think everyone is just kind of boring and wants, like, boring, basic shit?

[Sashir]

I think most people are boring. Ugh. They just want boring, basic shit.

[Nicole]

Ugh.

[Sashir]

It's really sad.

[Nicole]

It really is.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

How do we get people to have fun again?

[Sashir]

I don't know.

[Nicole]

How do we get people to bring.

[Sashir]

Color back and charm?

[Nicole]

Yes. I love knickknacks.

[Sashir]

Yeah. Yeah, me too.

[Nicole]

Oh, my God.

[Sashir]

My goodness.

[Nicole]

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I want lamps, but I want, like, funky, like, 80s lamps. And when I was in New York, I was trying to source them, and I was having such a hard time. I need to, like, figure out where the good vintage and antiquing in New York is.

[Sashir]

Ooh. I would guess, like, upstate.

[Nicole]

Mmm. You know, maybe there's this place in Tarrytown called Swan House. Ugh. They have some incredible things.

[Sashir]

Ooh.

[Nicole]

I think that's where I got my part of my giraffe family.

[Sashir]

Can you explain your giraffe family?

[Nicole]

Yeah. You don't know them. I do.

[Sashir]

Oh, for the audience. We're not just talking to each other.

[Nicole]

No, I won't just know. I have a family of giraffes in my house.

[Sashir]

They adopted you.

[Nicole]

I have brass giraffes that aren't, like, full size. They're. They're pretty small. But then I found, like, bigger ones. The mom and dad ones. I think those are from the Swan House. I love them so much.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Sometimes I'll sing the Lion King to them.

[Sashir]

Which song?

[Nicole]

Lion King's good as hell.

[Sashir]

It's so good.

[Nicole]

I haven't watched it in years. I should.

[Sashir]

I was. I was like, I should give it another watch. You know, I also really love what Lion King, too.

[Nicole]

That's funny, because I remember it was straight to video. Yes. I remember seeing it and not being like, this is not up to par with Lion King standards, but I think I should give it a rewatch.

[Sashir]

I think you should.

[Nicole]

I think I should give it another chance.

[Sashir]

The soundtrack slaps really so good.

[Nicole]

Oh, interesting. Should we have a Lion King party?

[Sashir]

Let's do it. We watch all the Lion Kings.

[Nicole]

The all.

[Sashir]

Well, There's Lion King 1 and 2, and then. And maybe there's more animated ones. I actually don't know. And then they. I haven't seen the CGI ones.

[Nicole]

I won't.

[Sashir]

I understand.

[Nicole]

I just can't do it.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Why did we. Why?

[Sashir]

More money.

[Nicole]

A live action Lion King. I don't need to see a realistic lion talk.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

That's just not real.

[Sashir]

It's strange.

[Nicole]

It should be a cartoon.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Lord. Lord. I mean, I only think some Disney movies could be, like. I think Snow White could be liveaction. That's all people.

[Sashir]

Yeah. They made many liveaction snow whites.

[Nicole]

They did.

[Sashir]

Yeah. One came out, what, last year? Two years ago.

[Nicole]

It did.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

I'm not up on the Disney movie. Gadot.

[Sashir]

Yes.

[Nicole]

I have an apple for you.

[Sashir]

I think that's the same line delivery she gave.

[Nicole]

It must be wild to be pretty because, like, I don't want to be rude, you know, it's not rude because not everyone is for everyone.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And I'm sure she works really hard. She does, like, character development and stuff. But, like, her delivery is very stiff.

[Sashir]

It's very stiff. Yeah. I really liked her as Wonder Woman, and I guess maybe that felt, like, more believable. Believable because she was like. Like, kind of. Were they, like, aliens or like.

[Nicole]

I think she's an Amazonian person, but.

[Sashir]

From, like, an Amazonian planet.

[Nicole]

Where's Wonder Woman from? Ally?

[Sashir]

See, one second. She's like, definitely not of this world. So it felt like, oh, okay. You know. Otherworldly.

[Nicole]

Huh? Yeah. So of course you don't know how.

[Sashir]

To speak.

[Nicole]

Because you're not from here.

[Ali]

So Wonder Woman is from the fictional island of Themyskira, which is a hidden place for Amazon warriors located in the Aegean Sea.

[Nicole]

Where's the agnc? Where's that closest to.

[Ali]

It's between Greece and Turkey.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Oh.

[Ali]

Arm of the Mediterranean.

[Nicole]

Okay. She's having a nice time. That's a beautiful location.

[Sashir]

I know.

[Nicole]

I would not save the world. Are you kidding?

[Sashir]

My home. Yeah.

[Nicole]

On the island.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

That's crazy.

[Sashir]

And then I didn't count our men.

[Nicole]

Wait, Sashir, if you got a superpower, would you try to save people?

[Sashir]

H, that's a really good question.

[Nicole]

Thank you.

[Sashir]

Huh. I think I would try to save some people I don't know about.

[Nicole]

Wow. And what is the barometer to getting saved? I'm blown away.

[Sashir]

If I know you, if you're my family, if you've been nice to me.

[Nicole]

Nice to me.

[Sashir]

Yeah. I don't have time to save everybody. Some of these superheroes, like, you know, make it their job.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Clock in, clock out, sunrise, sunset.

[Nicole]

Superman has two jobs.

[Sashir]

Oh, that is actually really crazy.

[Nicole]

He works at the Daily Planet, which why.

[Sashir]

And Superman, why is he working at the paper?

[Nicole]

Like, Spider Man 2. He'd be taking pictures for his Daily Planet.

[Sashir]

That's true. Are they both. They can't both be Daily Planets. I don't. Are all the newspapers Daily Planets?

[Ali]

Maybe Daily Planet, Superman. Daily Bugle. Is Spider.

[Sashir]

Wild Bugle.

[Nicole]

Daily Bugle. Oh, my God.

[Sashir]

But, yeah, it is like. I mean, I guess Spider man makes sense because he's like, silly teen and he's making money somehow, but Superman, he has this whole ice house or whatever his.

[Nicole]

Like in the new one.

[Sashir]

Yeah, he doesn't. I don't think he needs money.

[Nicole]

I don't think.

[Sashir]

Do you?

[Nicole]

I don't. Yeah, it doesn't seem like he needs money. Also, how did he get his Social Security number?

[Sashir]

Oh, wait. He was adopted, right?

[Nicole]

Yeah. But what did they say? This baby came in Iraq. Can we get him registered to the.

[Sashir]

The world? That is interesting. Yeah. How do they explain that?

[Nicole]

Yeah, and I feel like there'd be an investigation as to how he got there. Or did they, like, lie about it?

[Sashir]

They lied and said we biologically have this kid.

[Nicole]

Oh, maybe. Or maybe they're like, it was left on our doorstep. I still think they would, like, figure out. Try to inquire. Really? Well, I don't think that you can. I don't think you just get to keep a kid. I think if a kid was brought to your doorstep, I think they try to get that kid back to where it came from. I think. I don't think they just let you have it.

[Sashir]

I don't.

[Nicole]

Ali, can you Google, if a. If a baby is left on your doorstep, do you get to keep it?

[Sashir]

Yeah, it's like, finders keepers.

[Nicole]

I really don't think so.

[Sashir]

I don't know either, actually.

[Ali]

If you. Okay, no. No, you can't keep it.

[Nicole]

Yeah, but, like.

[Sashir]

But you can't give it back to the parent who left the kid because they clearly don't want it.

[Nicole]

I feel like our legal system is like, no, it's your kid. You. You take it. Or it, like, goes into, like, the system where those people are, quote, unquote vetted to take care of a kid, which is crazy.

[Sashir]

That is interesting.

[Nicole]

So the Kents are criminals. They kept a baby they shouldn't have kept.

[Sashir]

That's true. I mean, honestly, they should have gave it to the government immediately. This is alien.

[Nicole]

Iron man has a day job.

[Sashir]

That's true. He's like a tech billionaire.

[Nicole]

Yeah, it's. They all have jobs and they save the world. Honestly, that's a commentary on the economy. Yeah.

[Sashir]

That they have to have a job.

[Nicole]

That they have to keep a job for income while they're saving the world. Yeah. All the X Men teachers.

[Sashir]

Oh, yeah. Well, they're teaching other X Men. They're teaching other mutants. Still. Teachers, like, my side hustle is saving the world.

[Nicole]

Wait, which other ones? Who else are they? Who else are they?

[Sashir]

Who else are they? Who? Like, other superheroes.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I'm trying to. I'm trying to see if all of.

[Sashir]

Them have jobs, maybe. Yeah. Do they all have jobs?

[Nicole]

Dr. Strange. He's a doctor, right?

[Sashir]

He was a doctor. Yeah. And then he runs that.

[Nicole]

That school.

[Sashir]

That's. That. It's like. I guess.

[Nicole]

Is it a school?

[Sashir]

It's like a magic place. The Magic House in New York.

[Nicole]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ali]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

That's what it is. A magic house.

[Sashir]

The magic house.

[Nicole]

The magic house.

[Sashir]

Does Batman have a job? He's a billionaire.

[Nicole]

Bruce Wayne.

[Sashir]

He's. Yeah.

[Nicole]

His job is Bruce Wayne, Wayne Enterprises.

[Sashir]

Oh, but what do they do again? Everything.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I think they do, like, war. War Stuff.

[Sashir]

War. Like, they create, like, machinery.

[Nicole]

Yeah, like war machinery and weapons and stuff.

[Sashir]

Oh, no.

[Nicole]

Yeah. I think every single superhero has a day job. That's crazy.

[Sashir]

That's crazy.

[Nicole]

Saving the world.

[Sashir]

I have time.

[Nicole]

When do you sleep?

[Sashir]

That's also. I mean, like, some people. I don't have time to save everybody because I have to also go, like, me. My money. I guess if I see something, I'll say something, you know. Yes, I'll do something.

[Nicole]

I don't think I'm saving people.

[Sashir]

What are you gonna do with your superpower then?

[Nicole]

Have fun? It depends on what it is. Yeah, like just do party tricks like a dinner parties. That's funny because if you save someone who like doesn't want to be saved, I think they can like sue you. Or if you like injure someone while you're saving them, they can sue you.

[Sashir]

Whoa.

[Nicole]

I'm not getting sued. Not because I have special abilities. Should we take a break?

[Sashir]

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[Nicole]

Huff, Puff and Spin for even more.

[Sashir]

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[Nicole]

Uncommon Goods looks for products that are high quality, unique, and often handmade or made in the U.S. many are crafted by independent artists and small businesses, making every gift feel meaningful and truly one of a kind.

[Sashir]

The Uncommon Good site is so specific, you can type in anything like tarot or bath or scents, and then they'll just come up with things that you wouldn't have even thought of.

[Nicole]

You're like, this exists.

[Sashir]

I love it and I can give it to somebody in my life.

[Nicole]

Uncommon Goods has something for everyone. From moms and dads to kids to teens, book lovers, history buffs, die hard football fans, foodies, mixologists, avid gardeners. You'll find find thousands of new gift ideas that you won't find anywhere else.

[Sashir]

When you shop at Uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses. Many other handcrafted products are made in small batches, so shop now before they sell out this holiday season.

[Nicole]

And with every purchase you make at Uncommon Goods, they give back $1 to a non profit partner of your choice. They've donated more than $3.1 million to.

[Sashir]

Date, so don't wait. Cross those names off your list before the rush. To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com Best Friends that's UncommonGoods.com BestFriends for 15% off Uncommon Goods we're.

[Nicole]

All out of the ordinary. Well, we're back. What a lazy, lackadaisical break we took. Wow. Energy is low today.

[Sashir]

It's okay. We're doing our best.

[Nicole]

We really are. Oh my good. What are you doing tonight?

[Sashir]

Today I'm going to a concert.

[Nicole]

Oh, wow. Can you believe you're out and about?

[Sashir]

I'd be out in these streets.

[Nicole]

You'd be out in these streets. I. I don't know when I became a people pleaser because like, yeah, I'm like my own person. But like last night I kept being like, do you want to leave? Do you want to go home? Because I was concerned that maybe you had been out for too long and I don't know why that concerned me.

[Sashir]

Yeah, that was interesting because I couldn't tell if you were asking because that's what you want.

[Nicole]

No. Yeah, I was Having a blast. But I didn't know if your blast was happening.

[Sashir]

Yeah, well, I'm pretty honest, you know.

[Nicole]

Maybe instead of being like, do you want to go? I'll be like, are you having fun still?

[Sashir]

Okay. Which also would make me be like, do you think I'm not. Does it feel like I'm not having fun?

[Nicole]

I get. I. I don't know. The older I get, the more, like, in my head, I'm like, I want everyone to be enjoying their time, and I need to make sure everyone's enjoying their time.

[Sashir]

But I think. I mean, I. I don't know about everybody, because there's other people who are probably people pleasers too. But I'm definitely not going to stay out if I don't want to. I'm not like, Nicole needs me to stay out here, so I gotta say no. I'll go home if I'm tired, you know, Fair.

[Nicole]

And this is like, the third conversation I've had with somebody where they're like, I'll let you know.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

So I guess I just have to trust people that they'll let me know.

[Sashir]

Definitely. Yeah.

[Nicole]

Lord, Lord. Should we answer queries and questions?

[Sashir]

Yeah, let's do that.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Ali]

Amazing.

[Nicole]

I can't stop looking at my tiny little feet.

[Sashir]

They're so zippy.

[Ali]

Okay. This is from Emma. I'm a gay lady. She, her pronouns, and all of my best friends are white CIS straight men. They're wonderful. And as feminist as white men from Massachusetts can be.

[Nicole]

That's funny.

[Ali]

But sometimes it can be really frustrating to try to explain my experiences without fighting about their sweet, delicate, white male egos. Do you have any tips on having conversations with loved ones that are just kind of inappropriately delicate?

[Sashir]

Hmm.

[Nicole]

I remember when I told my uncle, my aunt, my sister, that, like, I was medicated, but I started taking ADHD medicine, and my uncle was like, why are you taking that? You don't need it. And I was like, huh? Yes, I do. And it was one of those things where I was like, just because you don't believe that you need to be medicated doesn't mean I don't need to be. I have found this to be immensely helpful in my experience. So anytime I talk to someone who. Who, like, has a very rigid way of thinking, I'm just like, well, from me and my experience, and sometimes I've explained things to, like, white people where I'm like, well, for me, as a black woman, I see it this way.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And the reason why I see it that way is just because of My experience and your experience might be different because you're of the lighter persuasion. So I think when you have discussions where they're, like, a little delicate, I think it's just, like, really hammering down, like, in me.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

I'm not saying you. I'm just saying for me.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I think that's really smart. I think maybe it's okay to point out the differences of, like, you might not get it because you're not a gay lady, and that's okay. Yeah. You don't have to get it.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I like that. I like when. I like saying, you don't have to understand it.

[Sashir]

You have to understand.

[Nicole]

You can just hear me.

[Sashir]

Totally.

[Nicole]

Listen, take it in. But you don't have to get it at all.

[Sashir]

Yeah. Just, like, you know, empathize. Yeah. I also wonder what she's sharing.

[Nicole]

Me, too.

[Sashir]

That's like. These men are like, yeah, get it.

[Nicole]

She's like, my pussy's itchy. And they're like, be you. We don't get it. What's a pussy? Do you mean penis?

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

I got one of them. I got balls, too. Imagine having balls.

[Sashir]

I can't actually.

[Nicole]

I would squish them all the time.

[Sashir]

Like, sit on them or you.

[Nicole]

Actually, I think I would play with them.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

If I had an external toy. You're gonna be like, nicole, get your hands out of there. And I'll be like.

[Sashir]

It is also fascinating. They're so fragile and they're just, like, out.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sashir]

Like, it feels like they should be tucked in somewhere.

[Nicole]

Yes. It's crazy, but they're just. Yeah. And they hit them. They hurt.

[Sashir]

And, like, I'm surprised no one invented. I mean, maybe they don't need it, but it's like some sort of like. Like, wearable cup that's, like, for the everyday, not just for sports. Aren't they scared? I'd be constantly scared that something was going to hit my balls or my shaft. I would be like, so.

[Nicole]

My shaft.

[Sashir]

The whole. The whole deal. I'd be so concerned because it's just like, Just under. Under one piece of clothing.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I guess two underwear. But, like. Yeah, that's not enough.

[Nicole]

Pretty crazy.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

There's nothing on my body that, like, if you hit it, I'm, like, down for the count. Punch my titty.

[Sashir]

Yeah, I'll be okay.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Honestly. Punch my. Punch my cunt.

[Sashir]

Punt my cunt.

[Nicole]

Punt my cunt. I think I'm fine.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But, yeah, I'm here for these men. I think you're onto something.

[Sashir]

Should I invent the Wearable.

[Nicole]

And let's go on Shark Tank. I'll just be there for support.

[Sashir]

Yeah. Hey, Sharks, are you ever walking around being like, oh, no, I hope nobody hits my balls? Not to worry.

[Nicole]

I don't know. Get Mark Cuban on the case.

[Sashir]

Yeah. He'll be like, I get it.

[Nicole]

Yeah. He's like, I'm walking around all the time going, oh, no.

[Sashir]

Okay.

[Ali]

This is from Rebecca. I have what I hope is a fun question for you all. I'm planning a bachelorette party. While I was listening to your podcast, and I was curious what you would plan for one another's bachelorette parties.

[Sashir]

Ooh.

[Nicole]

That was a fun question.

[Sashir]

It's a fun question. I would probably rent a house. I mean, I've sent you things that I think could be your bachelor party or your birthday party, but like. Like, there's a house with a. Like a race car track. Yeah. In. In the front of it. Or a house with, like, a water park in it.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I would like that.

[Sashir]

Yeah. I think those would be fun.

[Nicole]

I mean, obviously, hot dogs. There'll be a hot dog cart or truck or stand. Some sort of hot dogs.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

I would get you a stripper, and I would get it the lady from a goofy movie. I would have her dress up like her.

[Sashir]

Oh, my God.

[Nicole]

And as the boy. Yes. Because I think.

[Sashir]

I think you'd enjoy both. I would enjoy both. It'd be the burlesque show where she starts off as Max and then comes off as Roxanne. I die.

[Nicole]

Maybe that's what it is.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But, yeah, I would rent a house with, like, a chef.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Because you like to be eaten.

[Sashir]

I be eating. I love eating.

[Nicole]

You love eating good in the neighborhood.

[Sashir]

It's true.

[Nicole]

Mm. And then as far as activities, I think we go to a strip club. Mm. Maybe if it's, like, a weekend. So we're in the house. I don't think you really need a theme house. I think just, like, autonomous colors, lots of browns, just a cute designed house.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Strip club that Friday. And then hopefully there's, like, a vintage something fair that we go to during the day. At night, the stripper comes to the house dressed as a goofy movie. And then Sunday, a brunch out somewhere. Very cute.

[Sashir]

That sounds great. I love it. Yeah.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Let's see other activities. So, yeah, we definitely either race at the house or. Or swim at the house. And then maybe we can go to, like, a petting zoo or something. Yeah, I think that's nice. And maybe a drag show somewhere.

[Nicole]

That's fun.

[Sashir]

And or maybe a drag brunch, maybe we could do that. ATVs, maybe. Yes. Yeah. That's a packed weekend.

[Nicole]

It really is. That was fun.

[Sashir]

That was fun.

[Nicole]

We should just do that anyway. Yeah.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

What are you doing for your 40th?

[Sashir]

I think I'm gonna go to Japan. To Okinawa. Japan, where I was born.

[Nicole]

Oh, yes. Yes, yes.

[Sashir]

Yeah. What are you doing for your 40s?

[Nicole]

I don't know. Oh, yes, I do. I'm having a party here. And I'm having a funeral. Have I not told you?

[Sashir]

No, you haven't told me.

[Nicole]

I'm gonna have a funeral.

[Sashir]

Okay.

[Nicole]

I'm going to lay in a casket.

[Sashir]

Oh, my God.

[Nicole]

I'm going to invite a bunch of friends to come and talk nice things about me because I watched a video where this lady was like, we don't say kind things to the people when they're alive.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

We say all these stories and a moat about them after they're gone. We should start telling people how we feel about them when they're alive.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

So I said, great. I'm a rent a casket. I'm a get in it, and I'm going to make people talk nice about me. And then I think a dance party after.

[Sashir]

Definitely. I love it. Can you rent a casket?

[Nicole]

I don't know. I didn't. I haven't gotten that far.

[Sashir]

Okay.

[Nicole]

But I also decided at my funeral, my real one.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

When the casket is going down, you know, there's like pallbearers or whatever. I want them to play a Rihanna song and I want them to spin my casket around.

[Sashir]

Oh, that's fine. That's fun.

[Nicole]

I have to put it in the will.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

There's so much for you to do.

[Sashir]

Do you think there's, like, dancing pallbearers you can hire? Ally, will you look that up?

[Nicole]

Yeah. That would be incredible. Just like these really strong men will do whatever you want.

[Sashir]

Yeah. There should be a. If it doesn't exist, there should be a business for that.

[Nicole]

We should go on Shark Tank.

[Sashir]

Yeah. Sharks. Have you ever been to a funeral and you're like, this is not fun.

[Nicole]

The whole episode of Shark Tank is just like us going in and out.

[Sashir]

Now. We have mustaches now.

[Ali]

Okay. I'm not seeing dancing pallbearers for hire. But you can hire bottle servers to pop out of caskets at the club.

[Nicole]

You can hire bottle service people to pop out of caskets at the club.

[Sashir]

That is. What is that service called?

[Nicole]

That is so funny.

[Ali]

Penthouse Day Club. There's an article about them. Really? Outdoing themselves on one Sunday.

[Sashir]

That is. That's great. Doing themselves.

[Nicole]

That's very funny.

[Sashir]

That's funny.

[Nicole]

Solved.

[Sashir]

Solved.

[Ali]

One more.

[Sashir]

Yes. Yeah. Okay.

[Ali]

Love the podcast and love you both. I have a question for you about wanting to stop location sharing. I have a long time friend who I care about deeply but for some unknown reason has been removing herself from my life and almost never responds to me. She's shared her location with me for a couple of years and we live in different states now. Earlier this year I asked her to go on a girls trip with me and she said she couldn't swing it. Since then, when I checked Find My Friends, I've seen her travel to a few other countries and all over the us. It hurt my feelings that she can travel so frequently but not make time for me. So I removed her from my Find My Friends list. She then texted me that Apple had a glitch and that it stopped her location sharing, so she added it back. I let it go and didn't address it. After a couple months, I had a conversation with her about our relationship and why she's been distant. She said she loves me, misses me, and thinks about me all the time. But after a week of texting like normal again, she left me on red for over four months. I miss my friends so much and it truly hurts my heart when I open Find My Friends to check another friend's location and I see her in Vegas or Colorado or Mexico. We used to be so close and I have no idea what's going on with her life or why she won't go somewhere with me like we used to. Is it wrong to want to stop seeing her location permanently? If I remove her from Find My Friends Again, what should I say to her if she believes it's a phone glitch again? Thank you.

[Nicole]

That is tough.

[Sashir]

That is tough.

[Nicole]

It's weird that this girl wants to still be connected that way.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

For this person.

[Sashir]

But like won't.

[Nicole]

But won't just hang out with them. It's like, look where I am, but you'll never hear from me.

[Sashir]

Maybe it's like that really feels like actually ending something or like severing ties where it's like, I guess if you're growing distant, you know, that happens. Relationships ebb and flow. But if you're like, and now we're not no longer sharing yeah Locations. Now you are no longer in my community that I, I guess view that way or keep tabs on like that. That feels maybe like too extreme for the. For the friends yeah, probably. But I also. But the person who wrote in, I get that. Like, I get not wanting to see your friend's activity, and it probably hurts every time they see it. So. Yeah, I think for their own protection, they probably should stop seeing it.

[Nicole]

I think you just remove them and when they're like, oh, a glitch happened. Oh, no, I'm sorry. It wasn't a glitch. Since we're not as close as we used to be, I really just don't. I don't want to see your location anymore. I asked you to go on a trip, you couldn't go, but I see you traveling, it really bums me out. And I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings, but I was just getting bummed.

[Sashir]

That's good. I like that. That's really good.

[Nicole]

Thank you.

[Sashir]

Yeah, I think. I think it's totally fine, to be honest, especially because they've already had a conversation about their friendship. So. Yeah. Just being like, it does bum me out to see you doing all these trips and not doing any of the ones I invite you on.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

And then that you're. Then that friend can process it however they process it. And either, you know, maybe they'll be like, oh, I guess it really does feel like we are drifting apart.

[Nicole]

Or.

[Sashir]

Or maybe they'll try harder, but it's up to them to figure out.

[Nicole]

Yeah, for me, I think that friend is. Yeah, that ship has sailed on that friendship, unfortunately. And yeah, leaving someone on red for four months is not kind. It's rude.

[Sashir]

Especially after they.

[Nicole]

After you had a conversation about it and they're like, I'm gonna do better, and then they don't do better.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

When someone shows you they're a bad friend, they're telling you the truth.

[Sashir]

It's true.

[Nicole]

Because I. I try really hard not to be a bad friend. Or if someone has a critique for me, I'm like, okay, yes, I will try to amend the way I'm acting. I'm. I'm not leaving someone unread for four months if that's my friend.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Dang.

[Sashir]

Yeah, I think. Yeah. Un. Un. Unfind my friend them.

[Nicole]

And when you do it, text them, sayon.

[Sashir]

Yes. Solved.

[Nicole]

Well. Well, that's it. We gotta get out of here.

[Sashir]

We gotta get out of here.

[Nicole]

And if you're listening and you're like, oh, man, I have a query on my heart. You can email us at our email address, which is nicoleandsasheergmail. Com.

[Sashir]

And if you wanna call or text us and demand that we actually make those cups, the square oval cups, so you could protect your balls.

[Nicole]

If you want that, let us know.

[Sashir]

Let us know.

[Ali]

Our number is 323-238-6554.

[Sashir]

Thank you, Ollie.

[Nicole]

Hell, yeah, dude. I'll see you next time. I'll see you next time.

[Sashir]

Bye.

[Nicole]

Bye. Best Friends is a production of Headgum Studios.

[Sashir]

Our producer is Ali Khan.

[Nicole]

Our executive producer is Anya Konovskaya.

[Sashir]

The show is edited, mixed and engineered by Rochelle Chen.

[Ali]

That was a Headgum podcast.