Nicole Hates Mondays

Summary

Podcast Summary: Best Friends with Nicole Byer & Sasheer Zamata

Episode: Nicole Hates Mondays
Date: May 20, 2026
Podcast Network: Headgum

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Overview

In "Nicole Hates Mondays," Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata settle in for a wide-ranging, candid, and playful conversation about the realities of sleep habits, friendship dynamics, retail jobs, and the difficulties of Mondays. The duo shares personal stories, tangents about odd news, deep dives into therapy and mental health, and their signature advice to listener questions about tricky social situations, relationships, and even bridesmaid dilemmas. With their trademark irreverence and warmth, Nicole and Sasheer turn the everyday into honest, hilarious reflections on modern life and true friendship.

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Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sleep Struggles and Weird Dreams

• Exhaustion Over the Week: Both hosts discuss feeling tired, with Nicole connecting it to missing iron supplements during her period and “mental jet lag”.
  • [01:12] Nicole: “Last night at 11 was like, ugh, I'm so tired. And I've been tired all week. …It's because I wasn't taking my iron supplements during my period.”
• Sharing Vivid Dreams:
  • Nicole’s dream: Going to acting school with Sasheer, barricading a dirty communal shower.
    • Nicole: "In my dream, you were nasty as hell." [02:48]
  • Sasheer’s dream: Cartel members putting on her clothes, pigs on her land, and a wild sequence ending with a live show and police drama.
    • Sasheer: "We had a best friend's live show in a theater. …I had to figure out the situation with this guy in the truck." [03:34]
  • Their mutual amusement about dreaming of each other and their different subconscious adventures.
    • Nicole: "We had very different dreams. I'm just cleaning a shower. You're dealing with international crime." [05:21]

2. The Couch vs. The Bed—Sleep Habits

• Struggles with Getting to Bed:
  • Nicole’s story of falling asleep on the couch and refusing to transition to bed because of the effort involved in “getting ready.”
    • Nicole: “You don't have to do any of that on the couch. No, the couch doesn't care if you come correct.” [06:43]
  • Sasheer agrees, noting the relatability of losing her sleepiness after going through the motions.
    • Sasheer: “By the time I get up and go do all of those things now, I'm not tired anymore.” [06:55]

3. Experimenting with Floor Sleeping

• Sasheer Shares Her New Sleep Setup:
  • Tired of waking up sore, Sasheer tries a mattress topper and weighted blanket on the floor, citing videos about its benefits.
    • Sasheer: “I keep seeing these videos about the benefits of sleeping on the floor. …I am waking up, like, less sore.” [08:39]
  • Nicole’s memory of sleeping on the floor during a girls’ trip and childhood sleepovers, noting the discomfort and social implications.
    • Nicole: “If you're not mentally prepared for floor sleep. ...All the girls would, like, fall asleep, and then I would just be awake.” [10:03, 11:32]

4. Childhood Sleepovers and Cultural Oddities

• The Trappings of Sleepovers:
  • The social norms of bringing sleeping bags, Nicole’s first oversleeping bag, and random memories of watching a scary movie "The Dentist."
    • Nicole: “All the girls were like, ‘you don't have a sleeping bag?’ And I was like, no, I sleep indoors in my bed.” [10:17]
  • A tangent about a notorious dentist news story and the notion of “loser behavior” in abusers, leading to a philosophical digression on self-worth.
    • Sasheer: "Wouldn't, like, the cool thing... be like, wow, I'm so good at talking… Instead, I have to drug them." [13:42]

5. Magic, Hexes, and Manifesting

• Nicole’s Foray into Love Spells During the Pandemic:
  • She confesses to buying tea candles and trying a love incantation—ultimately unsuccessful and now discarded.
    • Nicole: “Did it for someone specific. ...didn't work.” [14:56]
  • Sasheer discusses the ethical discomfort of spells aimed at others and shares an anecdote of someone finding a real hex by a river.
    • Sasheer: “People in the comments were like, girl, that's a hex. Put that back. Don't open that.” [16:27]

6. Funny News & Mundanity of Mondays

• Garfield Phones Washing on Shores:
  • Nicole references a news story about lost Garfield-shaped phones washing ashore in Europe and jokes about divine intent.
    • Nicole: “I would be like, God has been blessing us with Garfield phones. What does God want us to do with these?” [17:25]
• Monday Malaise and Who Invented the Work Week:
  • The duo rails against Mondays and the five-day workweek; Allie, the producer, provides a factual interjection on Henry Ford’s role in standardizing the workweek.
    • Allie: “Henry Ford is credited with popularizing the five day, 40 hour work week…” [18:19]
  • Nicole: “Who made a five day work week? Why do we work more than relax?” [18:07]
  • They discover working conditions were previously worse (6 days/100 hours), briefly giving Ford reluctant credit.

7. Retail Woes & Real Woman Dollars

• Nicole and Sasheer’s Retail Experiences:
  • Nicole shares about Lane Bryant’s unpredictable retail scheduling, lack of benefits, and the real-woman-dollars coupon scam.
    • Nicole: “$7.50. No benefits. And I would steal overtime.” [20:38]
  • The girls bond over the absurdities of mall jobs, fake sales, and the labor required for store promotions.
    • Sasheer: “I think that's also like, most sales are like a scam.” [22:55]

8. Mental Health, Therapy & Nature as Joy

• The Value of Therapy:
  • Both discuss seeing multiple therapists and how therapy builds empathy and new perspectives.
    • Nicole: "She doesn't know me. ...She can also look at other people's perspectives since...she's not in my friend group." [29:22]
  • Sasheer finds unequivocal joy in butterflies and nature, encouraging others to look for external joys as a way to step outside oneself.
    • Sasheer: “Seeing butterflies in my yard is really nice… it takes my mind off of me.” [30:05]

9. Quibbles, Kit Kat Robberies, and Pun Wars

• The Kit Kat Heist:
  • Nicole reports the largest Kit Kat theft—12 tons stolen from a truck.
    • Nicole: “12 tons of Kit Kats. Oh, my God. Some hungry bitch was like, oh.” [32:48]
  • Sasheer sneaks in the pun, “Give me a break,” inciting Nicole’s mock outrage.
    • Sasheer: “And they're like, give me a break." [33:16]
    • Nicole: “Every time someone made a pun, they’d have to leave the room, drive home and think about the things you say to me.” [33:25]

10. Museums, Disney Rides, and Novelty Bus Stops

• If You Could Steal Anything:
  • Sasheer would steal a large Broad Museum exhibit chair; Nicole, a giant table, revealing their fascination with feeling “tiny.”
    • Nicole: “Sometimes I wish big hands would come out of the sky and lift me up, put me to sleep, just rock me around.” [36:04]
  • They rave about the Ratatouille ride at Disney World and Japan’s fruit-shaped bus stops as dream destinations.

11. Small Talk: Eyebrow Mishaps & 80s Movies

• Eyebrow Faux Pas:
  • Hilarious discussion about DIY eyebrow misses, “cousins not sisters,” and wielding a razor in risky fashion.
    • Nicole: “My makeup artist, Jen, was like, did you do your eyebrows again yourself? ...you could just fill it in.” [38:20]
• True Lies, Risky Business, and James Cameron’s Obsession with Water:
  • Musings about Tom Cruise’s early roles, James Cameron’s water-heavy filmography, and odd movie math trivia.

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Listener Questions & Advice Segment

Work Friendship Gone Cold

[50:40–52:46]

• Situation: Letter writer’s coworker-friend becomes distant and difficult after relationship stress, affecting other friendships at work. LW struggles to avoid drama but doesn’t want to be rude or escalate the issue.
  • Sasheer: “You can downgrade how you feel about this person... you can just be surface, keep it light, keep it moving, keep it civil. And do you.” [51:45]
  • Nicole: “Just, you know, hi, how are you? ...If that person really makes you feel a certain type of way... I just think walking away is a little childish and a little, like, overly sensitive.” [52:05–52:21]

Dating a Doppelgänger

[57:48–61:32]

• Situation: A gay man starts dating someone who looks just like his best friend. Both say it’s funny, but LW worries about how it reflects on him.
  • Nicole: “If no one else is saying they have a problem with it, you don't have to have a problem with it.” [60:52]
  • Sasheer: “You're attracted to who you're attracted to. …You like what you like.” [60:10–60:37]
  • Go with the flow; don’t overthink unless it becomes an issue for the people involved.

Bridesmaid/Wedding Party Overwhelm

[61:41–66:41]

• Situation: Future bride with non-traditional friend group wants to be mindful about choosing bridesmaids, avoid pressuring anyone, and balance support vs. practicality.
  • Nicole: “Overthink the email that you send to your friends when you ask them to be your bridesmaids. Do a financial breakdown. ...I'm okay if you say no, but I did the work for you.” [63:12]
  • Sasheer: “Decide what is necessary to you… You can make it as simple as you want or as, you know, over the top as you want. It’s your wedding, it’s your rules.” [63:45, 67:51]

Age Gap Friendships

[68:07–70:59]

• Situation: Listener (much younger than new friend) wonders if the age gap is a problem or if their lack of “depth” is dragging things down.
  • Nicole: “I don't think you're dragging or bringing that person down because they're choosing to hang out with you.” [68:48]
  • Sasheer: “It is beneficial for both parties to hang out with people of a different age. ...You are probably adding value to the conversations and this experience.” [68:53]
  • Enjoy it! Both younger and older friends bring value; age matters less as adults.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Couch's Invitation:
  • Nicole: “The couch doesn’t care if you come correct. Come as you are, fall asleep, love your life here on the couch.” [06:51]
• On Kit Kat Crime:
  • Nicole: “Some hungry bitch was like, oh. ...Sell it on the black market?” [32:48, 32:57]
• On Eyebrows:
  • Nicole: “My makeup artist, Jen, was like, did you do your eyebrows again yourself? ...you could just fill it in.” [38:20]
• On Workweeks:
  • Nicole: “Who made a five day work week? Why do we work more than relax?” [18:07]
  • Sasheer: “I mean, that's wild. That's why no one's smiling in their photos back then.” [19:37]
• On Puns:
  • Sasheer: “And they're like, give me a break.” [33:16]
  • Nicole: “Every time someone made a pun, they’d have to leave the room, drive home and think about the things you say to me.” [33:25]
• On Weddings as Performances:
  • Nicole: “I mean, a wedding is a show. You rehearse for a wedding.” [66:04]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Topic | |---------------|------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:20–03:00 | Catching up, sleep talk, and funny dreams | | 08:30–11:30 | Floor sleeping, childhood sleepovers | | 15:00 | Pandemic love spells & hex talk | | 17:07 | Garfield phones, Mondays, and inventing the workweek | | 19:45 | Retail jobs, Lane Bryant, real woman dollars | | 29:54 | Therapy, mental health, finding joy in nature | | 32:29 | Kit Kat robbery and puns | | 36:00 | Museums, feeling small, Disney/fruit bus stops | | 38:20 | Eyebrow mishaps and DIY grooming | | 43:10 | Movie talk: 6th Day, True Lies, James Cameron | | 50:40 | Question 1: Work friend becoming distant | | 57:48 | Question 2: Dating your best friend's doppelganger | | 61:41 | Question 3: Planning a non-traditional bridal party | | 68:07 | Question 4: Age gap friendships |

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Tone & Style

The episode is lighthearted yet genuine, full of playful banter and tangents. Nicole and Sasheer blend comedic timing with sincere friendship advice and a willingness to examine quirks and vulnerabilities. The intimacy and riffing read as a real conversation between best friends, where serious topics and the mundane get equal, loving attention.

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Conclusion

"Nicole Hates Mondays" is quintessential Best Friends: relatable stories, random but hilarious digressions (Garfield phones and Kit Kat heists!), plus heartfelt, practical advice for real-life friendship dilemmas. Nicole and Sasheer’s humor, empathy, and authenticity underscore every exchange, offering plenty of laughs and, ultimately, a reaffirmation that everyone could use a best friend (or a podcast) like this.

Transcript

[Host/Announcer]

This is a Headgum podcast. This is a Headgum podcast.

[Nicole Byer]

Hello, Sashear.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hi, Nicole.

[Nicole Byer]

How are you?

[Sasheer Zamata]

A little tired.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, no, I didn't get good sleep. Sleep. I'm sorry.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I started getting sleepy around 9 and I was like, oh, baby, I'm about to get some full sleep tonight. And then I think I hit the bed at like 10, and then slept. And then I thought I felt something crawling on my leg. And I like jumped up out of bed, like ripped the covers off, was searching. I think it was just the sheet moving, but it really, like, rocked me. And so then I was like full of adrenaline and I couldn't like, calm down enough to go back to sleep. So that was just up for hours.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm sorry. I hate when that happens. Yeah, that's happened to me before where I was like, something's on me. Then I'm like, well, it was nothing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It was nothing.

[Nicole Byer]

And now I'm awake.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, it's.

[Nicole Byer]

I get that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I. Last night at 11 was like, ugh, I'm so tired. And I've been tired all week. And I was like, what's going on? It's because I wasn't taking my iron supplements during my period.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That'll do it.

[Nicole Byer]

And I woke up a little. A little jet lagged.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Even though I've been nowhere but just mentally, mentally been places.

[Nicole Byer]

Just been all over the world. Oh, my God. I had a wild dream where you were in it. And we were going to acting school.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

We were living in the dorms and the shower was filthy. Yeah, it was so gross. So then I barricaded the doors so the other acting students couldn't get in. And then I bought bleach and I cleaned it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, interesting.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know what that's about.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hmm. Maybe like clearing out some dirt, maybe some old stuff.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. But it was such a dirty, gross shower. And I was like, how are these girls getting in here? Just shoeless touching it. Ugh, it was so nasty. And then I don't remember if I asked you if you were going shoeless or not. I just remember you being like, it's a shower, Nicole. We get clean in the shower. And I was like, okay, but it's dirty. You can't get clean if it's dirty.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, I like a clean shower.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, no, in my dream, you were nasty as hell.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, filthy. No, that was a fake version of me.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I would never.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. I don't know. I think there's a Version of you that wants to get filthy,

[Sasheer Zamata]

gonna get dirty. You were actually in my dream last night, too.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my God. What was I doing?

[Sasheer Zamata]

We were visiting each other in my dream. Let's see. It started with. I guess I was going after the cartel. Okay. They were like. They were like. I had a back house. They were going through my back house, putting on my clothes. And I was like, I gotta.

[Nicole Byer]

The cartel was putting on your clothes?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Taking a break from crime to get glammed.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I. I also had pigs on my land. And they were chasing the pigs. And I was like, this can't happen. And then I wrangled one of them and put them in my pickup truck. Cause also, I had a pickup truck in this dream. And then we had a best friend's live show in a theater. And so I drove to the theater, got out. You were getting ready. I think we had a guest. And then I had to try on a bunch of different. I was like, I'm gonna wear what I'm gonna wear. But then I wanna try on different shoes. And then maybe, like, a producer of the show or someone was like, here's a bunch of shoes for you to try on. But some were too tall, some were too pointy. Like, none of them were working. And I was like, it's fine.

[Ad Read Voice]

I'll just leave it alone.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Also, I was like. And I had to figure out the situation with this guy in the. In the truck. And so you started the show solo on stage. And I was like, I'll be right back. And I went outside, and then the guy's, like, tied up in the back of the truck. And I was, like, talking to people on the street. And I was like, you gotta help me, like, pin this guy down while I call the police. And so, like, we all pile up onto this guy. Well, first someone approaches him by himself. And that was a mistake. Cause this person was really strong. So they, like, whacked him in the head. And then that guy fell. And then I was like, no, we need to. We need to dogpile him. And then we dogpiled him. And I called the police. And I was like, we're on this street and this street. And they're like, you have to be in the embassy in order for us to arrest him. And I was like, oh, man. And then we all. I have a show to do.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm like.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And then we all dragged him to the embassy. And then the police came, and then they got him. And I came back to the stage. And then the show had ended, and I Was like, I'm so sorry. I had to deal with a lot of stuff outside. And you're like, it's okay. I took care of it.

[Nicole Byer]

Wow. We had very different dreams. I'm just cleaning a shower. You're dealing with international crime. There's a lot. Were we doing the show in Mexico or was the cartel here?

[Sasheer Zamata]

They were here.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, wow. That's wild.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I know. I. Yeah, I don't know. It was quite active. I haven't had an active dream like that in a while either. Maybe because I was so pumped up with adrenaline, looking for that spider that didn't exist.

[Nicole Byer]

And then when you finally fell back asleep, your body was like, we're going on an adventure.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We gotta fight something.

[Nicole Byer]

Wow, that's wild.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I know.

[Nicole Byer]

I fell asleep on the couch on Saturday. I was watching, I think, Drag Race and then I was like, I'm gonna close my eyes for a little bit. So then I rested my eyes and that. Nobody rests their eyes. You're going to sleep. And then I Woke up at 4am and I was like, oh, well, I guess I'll keep sleeping here. And then I slept for a little bit longer. And I was like, I should just go to bed.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I've definitely. Yeah, I've definitely fallen asleep like the whole night and been like. But my bed's not that far. Like, I could just go to bed.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But for some reason, getting up and then doing all the things you need to do to get ready for bed.

[Nicole Byer]

Cause you gotta brush your teeth.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

Maybe wash your face.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

But you don't wanna do that. You don't have to do any of that on the couch. No, the couch doesn't care if you come. Correct.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That is very true. Come as you are on the couch.

[Nicole Byer]

Come as you are. Fall asleep. Love your life here on the couc. Ouch.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And by the time I get up and go do all of those things now, I'm not tired anymore.

[Nicole Byer]

Exactly.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I lost the sleep.

[Nicole Byer]

That is a wild thing. I lose sleep all the time. I'll like. If I go to sleep too early. Too early for me is anytime before midnight, I will wake up at like 3 or 4 in the morning and be like, well, time to make the donuts. I gotta. I gotta get up and do things. Maybe I'll make myself a little snow snack. Oh, my God. Before bed last night, or maybe it was two nights ago, I was. I bought chocolate cake and I was having a nice time on that chocolate cake.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Nice.

[Nicole Byer]

And then fell asleep on the couch and Then woke up with a tummy ache. Times are hard.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Times are hard.

[Nicole Byer]

They're just so hard.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. I told you I've been sleeping on the floor lately. And you were like, are you okay?

[Nicole Byer]

Well, I was like, did something happen? Did your bed reject you? Is your mattress torn up? Are you going through it?

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, none of the above. I mean, I guess the mattress isn't great, but I keep seeing these videos about the benefits of sleeping on the floor. And I was like, it's gotta be better than what I'm doing right now because my body hurts when I wake up. And. And like my mattress, I was like, I couldn't really feel much of a difference than my last mattress. And I was like, I don't know, it feels fine. But then I started. I like put a mattress topper on the floor and I put a weighted blanket underneath it. And I was like, let me just try this out and see if I like it. And it's not like, you know, an immediate fix right off the bat, but I do. I am waking up, like, less sore.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm like, okay, that's good. And then I went back to my mattress to test it out and. And as soon as I like laid down, I was like, oh, I've been sinking this whole time.

[Nicole Byer]

I had no idea. Yeah, I think we all gotta get back to the mattress stores and try em out. Test em out, test em out. Take little naps.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Put your body on it.

[Nicole Byer]

Put your body right up on it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I once slept on the floor on a girls trip that we were on. Yes, we went to Palm Springs. We didn't have a say in the house that was rented, but I remember, I think I was the last one there. So I got the room that was left, and the room that was left had a little day bed on it that I was like, huh, this looks like it's for a child. And then I like sat on it and I was like, I think this bed is going to break. And then when I fell asleep on it, every time I turned over, I'd be like. And I was like, I'm going to break this bed. So then I slept on the floor and boy, oh boy, was it not nice. I did not have a mattress topper. I didn't have none of that shit.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Everything in that house felt like a model home.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes. It felt fake.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It felt like if you just touched it, it would fall to the floor.

[Nicole Byer]

And my big body laid on that day bed and it said, ma', am, no, you have exceeded the weight Limit to this.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. It's not nice to be on the floor when you're not expecting it.

[Nicole Byer]

No.

[Sasheer Zamata]

If you're not mentally prepared for floor sleep.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. And I think about, like, all of the sleepovers I went to where we. That was. You had to sleep on the floor.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

There weren't enough beds in this home.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's true.

[Nicole Byer]

You invited me here and I had to bring a sleeping bag. I remember my first sleepover, I didn't have a sleeping bag. And all the girls were like, you don't have a sleeping bag? And I was like, no, I sleep indoors in my bed. I'm not going camping. So then my mom had to go to Costco, and we had to get a. I think it was a Coleman brand. A blue Coleman brand sleeping bag.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And it had flannel on the inside.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Too warm.

[Nicole Byer]

It was very warm. Too warm. So then I always had to sleep with it open. Then I was like, now I'm exposed to the elements of your home.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And also, like, there's no point of the sleeping bag now.

[Nicole Byer]

No.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Could it be on, like, a little quilt or something?

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. Did you ever have to bring a sleeping bag to a friend's home?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I actually don't have a memory of that. I don't remember even owning a sleeping bag because again, also, my family didn't camp either. But I did have sleepovers. Maybe I just brought, like, covers. Like bed sheets.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I probably brought bed sheets in a blanket or something.

[Nicole Byer]

I remember lugging around this gigantic fucking sleeping bag and unrolling it out, being like, I guess this is the part of the floor I'll sleep on. Oh. And then all the girls would, like, fall asleep, and then I would just be awake.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

So then I remember I watched a movie called the Dentist while all the girls were sleeping. Oh, it's a up movie where this man just. He's ripping teeth out of people.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, God. I don't like that.

[Nicole Byer]

And there's titties at one point at the dentist. What? Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

My titties are never out of the dentist.

[Nicole Byer]

My titties are.

[Sasheer Zamata]

As an adult.

[Nicole Byer]

They've never. Wait, as a child, like,

[Sasheer Zamata]

I was like.

[Nicole Byer]

Only as an adult.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I hope they've never been out.

[Nicole Byer]

They have never been out. I don't know why I phrased it like that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No.

[Nicole Byer]

My titties have never been out of

[Sasheer Zamata]

the dentist since adulthood. They've never been out before that.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my titties were always out.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I actually remember, like, a news story when I was younger of this man, this dentist. Who got arrested because he had multiple cases of putting women under and molesting them. And then one woman suspected it. Cause I guess she, like, came to and, like, her shirt was disheveled, and she was like, what? And then I guess she, like, got a camera, which also, like, I feel like this was, like, the 90s. I'm like, what camera does she have? Like, a full camcorder. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Just with a cutout in her purse.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. But it had a good view. So she, like, had a camera set up somewhere where he couldn't see. And then she, like, went under, which is also, like. So that's so scary to, like, be like, I think this is happening, but I'm willing to risk my body again just to make sure this is what's happening. And then he, like, yeah. Put her under and was, like, kissing her and feeling up under her shirt, and it was, like, so gross and disappointing and. Yeah. And then you got arrested. Thank God.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. Good. But honestly, that's, like, loser behavior to me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

You got to put people out to kiss them. Yeah. Shoot your shot at a bar.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I mean, that's also how I feel about, like, sexual assault in general, where I'm, like, wouldn't, like, the cool thing or, like, the, like, conqueror mentality be like, wow, I'm so good at talking and, like. And, like, my personality so great.

[Host/Announcer]

Or.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Or I'm so hot that I can make women want to talk to me as opposed to, like, I have to drug them.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Or, like, force myself upon them in order to, like, have this experience. I would feel, like, so lame.

[Nicole Byer]

I would also feel lame.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I would feel like a loser. Yeah. Like, oh, man.

[Sasheer Zamata]

The only way I can get sex is I force it.

[Nicole Byer]

And then, like, people be bragging about it. People need to be like, whoa, dude.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Aren't you sad?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, you're sad. That's kind of pathetic, dude.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. You're not cool. We can't hang out with you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

That's how people should be responding.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Honestly. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. I can't even imagine. Like, it's never crossed my mind to be like, huh, what if I give this person drugs and then they love me?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Instead I go, let me find a book with spells in it and see if I could cast a spell.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, interesting. That's.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, you've never tried to cast a spell to get someone to like you? I haven't even bought tea candles and lit them in a pentagram. No. And read an incantation to say he will love me if I do X, Y, and Z.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And are you doing this for someone specific or, like, for anyone?

[Nicole Byer]

No, I did it for someone specific.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Whoa.

[Nicole Byer]

And I'll tell you something. Didn't work.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But also, like, I'm kind of glad it didn't. I feel. I don't want to know that that can work. I don't want to know that that's an option for people to access. I mean, like, I feel like it is. There is magic in, like, manifesting. If you put the right energy out, like, the. The things that you. That are supposed to be coming to you will come to you. But, like, specifically being like, I want this person to love me or I want to hurt this person or whatever, I don't like that.

[Nicole Byer]

We were deep in the pandemic and I was like, what if. What if I. What if I did the spell? What if I buy tea candles off. Off Amazon and I still have those two candles and right now they're in a box to give away because I hung up that cloak.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Great. I'm glad my cloak is hung.

[Nicole Byer]

No longer that kind of witch.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I actually saw a video where this girl was cleaning a river, just like with other people who were like, oh,

[Nicole Byer]

for whatever reason, in my brain, she had a wireless Dyson and was cleaning up the river. But I get it. They're, like, cleaning up the environment.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes. Yeah. And she found. I think it was like. It was like a mirror compact that had a couple's picture in there and needles going through the couple's eyes and their genitals and then like, a dollar bill and like, maybe something else was taped in there. And it was, like, taped around, was, like, written. Something was written on it. And people in the comments were like, girl, that's a hex. Put that back.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, put it back.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Don't open that.

[Nicole Byer]

Ooh. Ooh, that's scary. See, I'm not doing none of that. Don't do that. Mine was just, like, light love. He will come say his name three times. Name, name, name, name. Oh, my God. Did you know? I think it's in Germany. Wait, is Germany landlocked? I don't know. There's a place in Europe that's not landlocked where Garfield phones keep washing up on shore. I did see that, and it's because I guess, like, a carriership of, like, goods filled with Garfield phones sank, which

[Sasheer Zamata]

is also like, what. Where are they coming from? Where are they. Where is there a high demand of Garfield phones? That's really funny.

[Nicole Byer]

Isn't that funny? Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Also I guess that. I guess it's Plastic. I was like, also that they're light enough to float to shore, but yeah, they're plastic.

[Nicole Byer]

I would love to live in that town.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I would be like, God has been blessing us with Garfield phones. What does God want us to do with these?

[Sasheer Zamata]

You have to answer the call.

[Nicole Byer]

And the call is, please make me lasagna and let me sleep in on a Monday. What's today?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Monday.

[Nicole Byer]

I do hate Mondays.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I really am Garfield. I love lasagna. I hate Mondays.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's true.

[Nicole Byer]

Mondays are just so tough.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Because we really have to like get started.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, it is.

[Sasheer Zamata]

There's no warm up either.

[Nicole Byer]

It's like, bam, Monday happens. You gotta get the fuck up and go back to work.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I wonder who made a five day work week. Why do we work more than relax?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I feel like there is an answer to that. Ellie.

[Nicole Byer]

Ellie, hit it.

[Host/Announcer]

So Henry Ford is credited with popularizing the five day, 40 hour work week. He officially adopted it for his Ford Motor Company factory workers in September 1926. While labor unions had been fighting for shorter hours, Ford's move to five days without reducing pay prompted industry wide adoption and helped solidify the weekend norm.

[Nicole Byer]

Yuck.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Do we know what it was before that?

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, yeah, it was a work week before. Yeah, before Henry Ford came in and fucked. Shut up.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Tis, tis, tis.

[Nicole Byer]

I think it should be. There's seven days in a week. It should be four and three, definitely.

[Host/Announcer]

So before the five day, 40 hour work week, it was a six day work week.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, that's worse.

[Host/Announcer]

Actually, people were working 60 to 100 hours per week during the late 19th and 20th century.

[Nicole Byer]

So Henry Ford came in and saved us.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It looks like he actually made it better. Good job, Henry Ford.

[Nicole Byer]

Good job.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes, Henry.

[Nicole Byer]

That's six days a week, 100 hours.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yikes.

[Nicole Byer]

Whoa.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I mean, that's wild. That's why no one's smiling in their photos back then.

[Nicole Byer]

That's so funny. They're like, we have to get back to work.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So tired.

[Nicole Byer]

You want me to pose for a picture on my one day off? Oh, my God. That's wild. When I worked at Lane Bryant, I didn't really have weekends.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

No, because they would just schedule me whenever they wanted. Which is so wild to do in retail. Like, I feel like you should hire people to work on the. Like, let people choose. Do you want to work on the weekends or do you want to work during the week? Yeah, but it was just, it was a crapshoot as to whether I'd have a weekend off.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like how and how Far in advance. Would you know your schedule?

[Nicole Byer]

I think this schedule will come out on Fridays for Sunday. Sunday through Saturday.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think that's, like, very quick.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

To just be, like, available.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That sucks. It did suck.

[Nicole Byer]

And I wasn't even full time, so they would schedule me, like, 39 hours so I wouldn't get benefits or anything.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, wow, that's rude.

[Nicole Byer]

$7.50. No benefits. And I would steal overtime.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Nice.

[Nicole Byer]

Mm. Mm. I would take shifts. So I would switch shifts with girls or just take their shifts towards the end of the week. So then they would have a hard time trying to find someone with less hours to replace me. And then I would try to get time and a half and, baby. Ugh. Those time and a half checks.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, great.

[Nicole Byer]

Pay my rent and eat some chicken.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Well, pay my rent and eat some chicken.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, I used to love those. The man working in retail sucked.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I worked in retail, and the store I worked at was, like, cute and, like, the girls are all really nice. And I was hired, I guess. I guess we agreed on the weekends, and I wanted my weeks free to audition for commercials, but it was, like, such a small staff that, like, sometimes people had to sub in to, like, cover for other people. And they'd ask me to sub in,

[Nicole Byer]

and I'm like, no, no, I'm sorry. I'm a thespian. Have you ever heard of one?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I just have to be available in case somebody wants to see me audition for a commercial. And they're like, please, I can't do that.

[Nicole Byer]

No, I simply can't.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And I will mess up most transactions that I make on these registers, and you will have to clean it up on Monday.

[Nicole Byer]

That's so funny. When I worked at Lane Bryant, I think they're called real woman dollars or something. It was this long. Receipt or no. Yeah, the receipt would be long because you had to spend a bunch of money to get the real woman dollars. And then you'd have to staple these very thick, like, thing, I guess, coupons to the receipt. And then you'd be like, keep your receipt and these thick fucking coupons. And these women would do it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, wow.

[Nicole Byer]

They would keep these fucking thick things and then come in and use their real woman dollars. And I was like, this is. This is a scam. This is why you're not saving that much money.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And then you have to spend it within, like, three months of when you got it. And I'm like, I don't think you need more clothing. Yeah, within three months. Oh, no, girl. Just wild.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I Think that's also like, most sales are like a scam.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They're like, get, hurry up and get more before the sale goes out.

[Nicole Byer]

And you're like, I got to buy

[Sasheer Zamata]

more stuff just to get the free shipping and the thing. And I needed two for one. And it's like, it would have been costly anyway. You don't have to spend that.

[Nicole Byer]

It's wild when I'm like, you know, shopping for something online and it's like, get, get more. And I'm like, okay. And then sometimes I go, wait, the shipping is the same price of this like free item that I don't need. I'll just pay for the shipping. It's okay, I don't need more. But you know what I need more of?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Breaks.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, baby. Growing up, I had a very hard time washing my hair. I would always just leave the conditioner in. Turns out you have to use leave in conditioner, not just conditioner. You don't wash out all the way. And honestly, sometimes people would give me advice being like, Nicole, you should wash out all that conditioner. And I'd be like, get out of my hair. My business, not yours. But then I was like, oh, leave in conditioner actually does feel a little bit better than just conditioner I left in. And honestly, my hair growth was being hindered by all this conditioner that I was just leaving in my dang head. So something I have learned to use is stimulating scalp and hair balm from Basque and lather. It nourishes, it hydrates from the inside out and it has a hundred percent natural ingredients. A nourishing hair bomb for curly or kinky hair that helps reduce hair breakage and add shine. And when it's used regularly, users have seen results in about three months. And it's made with ingredients that can penetrate hair strands without clogging pores. A non greasy formula with no petroleum or other stuff. They also have a hydrating hair mist to keep any type of hair soft, shiny and hydrated. And it's combined with aloe vera and avocado oil to reduce frizz, treat dryness, detangle and redefine curls. And it can be used in combination with other products for a customized routine. Great for protective styles including locs, twists and braids. Bask and Lather is a black owned and family operated hair care that started with family. Loved when a dermatologist misdiagnosed CEO Shayna's younger sister and said that her hair may never grow back. The family said, not on my watch and took things into their own hands. Today her hair is down to her hips. Can you believe her hips don't lie? The hair is touching it. Shayna and her mother researched and formulated their own scalp and hair oil to stimulate growth and retain length. Explore viral bestsellers and products of healthier hair of all types from bask and lather. Go to baskinlather co.com and use code best friends for 20 off. That's 20 [e-mail] code best friends I've been having a lot of fun choosing my outfits lately. Whether that be considering different style combinations I haven't tried yet or trying out a new accessory or two. That little bit of extra thought and care puts a little pap in my step as I go about my day. Quince has been my go to. The fabrics feel elevated, the fits are flattering and everything just works without overthinking it. Quince makes it easy to refresh your everyday this spring with pieces that feel as good as they look. They use premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton, ultra soft denim. Their lightweight linen pants, dresses and tops start at $30 and are effortless for breathable and easy to wear on repeat. Everything at quints is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middleman so you're paying for quality and craftsmanship, not brand markup. I bought this like short sleeved sweater for this nice man in my life, this nice man who knows who he is. It's got buttons, it's this like olive green and it looks so nice on him. And honestly the quality of it is just so delightful and it's great to wear. And on Fridays when we get lasagna, refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use. Head to quince.combest friends for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q U I n c e.com Best Friends for free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com Best Friends support for this podcast is brought to you by Chamberlain University. I have to tell you, anytime I go to the hospital or a clinic, my anxiety is absolutely through the roof. It's just an overwhelming, scary place to be. But I feel like we've all experienced meeting an exceptional nurse who walks into the room and changes your day completely. They are so experienced and they know exactly what to say to take the panic out of the room and make a terrifying day feel completely manageable. And if you're looking for a new career path or you just want to do a job that truly matters. You cannot help but think, wow, that is exactly the kind of nurse I want to be. Chamberlain University is where you start. Discover your calling @chamberlain.edu. chamberlain University belong to something greater. Certified to operate by Chev May. M A Y is what?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Mental Health awareness Month.

[Nicole Byer]

And we partnered with all.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We love mental health,

[Nicole Byer]

But Alma does help you get a therapist. And I think therapy is super important.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I think it's important to meet with several therapists. Unless you click with, like, the one you meet, then, you know, trust those instincts. But if you're not clicking.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I've had a few therapists. I've had one, two, three. Three therapists individually, and I've had maybe one, two, three couples therapists.

[Nicole Byer]

So I've.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I've had a good share of therapists that I've talked to.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. And I think it's good. I think it's important. I think it helps you evolve as a person. It helps me be more empathetic, because, you know me. I'll say a blanket statement or something that doesn't make no sense, and you'll go, hey, friend. And my therapist will help me with that too. And it's nice. Cause she doesn't. She doesn't know me. She only knows what I tell her. She doesn't know my friends. She only knows what I tell her. And I try to be as truthful as possible, but she can also look at other people's perspectives since, you know, she's not me and she's not in my friend group.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

What's one thing, Sasheer, that just, like, brings you unequivocal joy?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Ooh, unequivocal joy.

[Nicole Byer]

Mm.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Butterflies. Really? Yeah. Seeing butterflies in my yard is really nice. Or, like, dragonflies or birds or rabbits. It's just, like, really nice. And I like being connected to nature and feeling like it's attainable and

[Nicole Byer]

kind

[Sasheer Zamata]

of takes my mind off of me. Now I'm like, now I'm thinking about things literally outside of myself.

[Nicole Byer]

I like that. That's really nice.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

My mind went to. There was a dragonfly in my pool the other day. It had passed on. And then I was like, don't think about that awful thing while your friend is going. This brings me joy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I saw a dead one.

[Nicole Byer]

Did you like that? It was dead as hell, all crunched up.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I hope I had a good time before it died.

[Nicole Byer]

It probably did. I also have been finding joy in nature, in flowers, and I'm a farmer, but I recently was like, oh, some of my plants are dead in a way that I don't think I could bring them back. So I went and bought some. Some flowers at an Armstrong garden center and was gonna say Anderson. I was like, that's not it. And then I repotted them, and it just feels nice to, like, have my fingers in the dirt. And I bought several different types of flowers, so I was, like, making my own potted bouquet, if you will. And then I got to just look at them and be like, look at that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I like that.

[Nicole Byer]

I made it so pretty.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's nice when you do it yourself, too. And you're like, I could do anything.

[Nicole Byer]

But then sometimes you buy a plant, and then it just sits there, there. And then you don't pot it. But then every time you look at it, you go, hey, I'll get to you eventually. I'll still water you. Will you grow and have a nice time? I just talk to the ones I neglect. But, yeah, I love therapy. And if you're thinking about getting into therapy, I would hit a bulma.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Because a year from today isn't that far away. And you can get started now@hello, Alma.com best friends.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's hello, Alma.com best friends. B E S T F R I E N D S

[Nicole Byer]

Mm, that break was good.

[Ad Read Voice]

Mm.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So good.

[Nicole Byer]

Did you hear about a Kit Kat robbery?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Not the Kit Kat robbery. I sure didn't.

[Nicole Byer]

Apparently, there was a robbery of Kit Kats from a truck causing a shortage of Kit Kats with Easter impending.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, no, wait.

[Nicole Byer]

Am I right? Am I making this up? Okay.

[Host/Announcer]

12 tons.

[Nicole Byer]

12 tons of kit Kats. Oh, my God. Some hungry bitch was like, oh.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh. You're like, what are they gonna do with it?

[Nicole Byer]

Sell it on the black market?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Who's demanding KitKats like that?

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. Whoa. I don't know. But imagine like, a Kit Kat heist. Like, the boss of your gang is like, all right, so the KitKat truck. And you're like, wait, what about money? No KitKats.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And they're like, give me a break.

[Nicole Byer]

I think you should go. I really just think you should get in your car, hit that button, turn it on, back out of the parking lot, drive home, park your car, go inside your home and really think about the things you say to me. That's what I think. That's what I think should happen. Yeah, get on out of here. Come on. If I was president, every time someone made a pun, they'd have to leave the Room, drive home and think about

[Sasheer Zamata]

why they said I would do it in a heartbeat. It'd be worth it. Like, whatever. I'll leave this situation. I'll leave this function on a high note.

[Nicole Byer]

You said a pun during your set, and the audience groaned, and I just screamed, and you went, good enough. It was really funny to me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't. I. I feel like when people groan at puns, I'm like, you're faking it. You're lying. You know, this is good. You know it's good. You know it's smart. It's quippy. It's fun. Why not laugh? Stop having. Stop trying to have not. Stop trying to not have fun. Uh oh.

[Nicole Byer]

Stop trying.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Stop trying.

[Nicole Byer]

You short circuited. Cause you're mad.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like, puns. Just look at the puns.

[Nicole Byer]

I think I don't love a pun because I never see them coming, but

[Sasheer Zamata]

that's the fun about it.

[Nicole Byer]

I think it's. I never see them coming, but I should have. Mm. But you don't have to give me a break. Was good. It was like, yeah, of course. And that's why I wanted you to leave.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. But it's like, I don't know if there's, like, a magician and they do a trick and they trick me, I'm not gonna be mad at the magician because I didn't figure out why they. The trick happened.

[Nicole Byer]

You're right. I'd never be mad at Criss angel for walking up a ladder the wrong way with no shoes on. Yeah. Choices. He's made a lot of choices. If you were to steal something, what would you steal?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like, anything in the world.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hmm. Maybe one of those big chairs from the Broad.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, that's good, right? Yeah. Yeah, I like that big table at the Broad. Oh, boy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Every time I get under it, I get wowed because it makes me feel so little.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

Sometimes I said this the other day to you. I was like, sometimes I wish big hands would come out of the sky and lift me up, put me to sleep, just, like, rock me around.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

They take me around, hold me like a baby. Wouldn't that be so fun?

[Sasheer Zamata]

It'd be very fun. There's a ratatouille ride in Disney World where you are the size of a rat. And so, like, there's a huge fruit and, like, huge tables, and, like. I mean, most of it's on screen, so there's, like, a person, like, trying to scoop you up or whatever, but there's also, like, big things in the room that are, like, bigger than you and it's fun. You feel like a little mouse.

[Nicole Byer]

It does sound like fun. And I'm not a Disney head. I am not. But that does sound like a nice time, right? Yes. They're in Japan. I think it's in Nagasaki. There are fruit shaped bus stops.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, yes, you showed me.

[Nicole Byer]

I gotta get there.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You do.

[Nicole Byer]

I gotta get there. I said to that nice man, I said, that's a stop I would like to make. Yeah. And he was like, well, what would the plan be? And I said to ride public transit around, take pictures in the big fruit, get on a bus, go to the next stop till we hit all the fruits.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And he was like, okay. And I was like, you just don't get it. You don't get it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It doesn't have to be a purpose. That is the purpose. Yes. The. Was it the destination is the journey?

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Or the journey is the destination.

[Nicole Byer]

Whatever. Who knows?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Either way.

[Nicole Byer]

Who's to say? Who's to say somebody said something funny? Oh, my stylist, Marco, he was. We were talking about eyebrows and he was like, they're cousins, not sisters. And I was like, yeah, they're cousins, not sisters. And then Grant, his assistant, was like, it's their sisters, not twins.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, that's funny.

[Nicole Byer]

And I laughed and laughed because that's funnier. They're cousins.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They're cousins, not sisters.

[Nicole Byer]

One's.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I mean, they're very different. Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

A whole completely different lineage.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes. One's red, one's blonde. Eyebrows. Eyebrows.

[Nicole Byer]

My makeup artist, Jen, was like, did you do your eyebrows again yourself? And I was like, yeah. How could you tell? She was like, well, you have a bald spot on this one. And I said, oh, okay. But, like, you could just fill it in. She was like, yes, but I don't know how to do my eyebrows by myself without causing big old bald spots.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Are you plucking them?

[Nicole Byer]

No.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Waxing them or what?

[Nicole Byer]

No, I'm using a razor.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wow. I'm going.

[Nicole Byer]

I hold them up and I go,

[Sasheer Zamata]

yes. Risky Business.

[Nicole Byer]

Call me. Tom Cruise. Never seen it. I just know he's got the sunglasses

[Sasheer Zamata]

and he slides in.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, he slides in, but I don't

[Sasheer Zamata]

know why, because I want to say he has a day off, but that's Ferris Bueller. But it feels like he's like at home, like without the parents or something.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. Is he young in that movie? Yeah, yeah, right. Risky Business.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But like teenage young or twenties young? I don't actually know.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know either. Hmm. Tom Cruise has had a career.

[Sasheer Zamata]

He sure has.

[Nicole Byer]

What Happens in Risky Business. Please, Allie.

[Host/Announcer]

So he was. He plays a teenager in the movie. He was 20 when he filmed it.

[Nicole Byer]

And

[Host/Announcer]

let's see, I haven't seen it in so long. He. He hires a sex worker, Right?

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, that is. I guess he did have a day off.

[Host/Announcer]

So it follows sexual exploits of high school senior Joe Goodson, who's staying home alone during his parents vacation trip and meets a call girl named Lana. And this was his breakout role.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, wow. Well, well, well. Okay. Who played Lana?

[Host/Announcer]

Rebecca De Mornay.

[Nicole Byer]

I wonder why it wasn't her breakout role. Yeah, Double standards. I don't know. I said, I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Some people have played sex workers and. And had a breakout role.

[Nicole Byer]

The Pretty Woman.

[Sasheer Zamata]

The Pretty Woman.

[Nicole Byer]

Julia Roberts. Wow. I was like, who is the pretty woman?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, Julia Roberts.

[Nicole Byer]

I just saw a tweet about that where she says how much she costs. And then he goes, how about I give you this for the week? But if you did the math, it's lower than her hourly rate. Oh, no.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, no.

[Nicole Byer]

But again, I don't know how true that is.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Can't believe everything on the Internet that's true. Because AI is making my heart swell with things. And then I find out it's just AI.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I hate it.

[Nicole Byer]

The thing I just told you about the other day was allegedly seven dogs had been kidnapped and then they found their way home and they were protecting each other and it was like a real life, homeward bound sitch and it wasn't true.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I know. It really sucks.

[Nicole Byer]

Bumm me the fuck out. Allie, did you see that?

[Host/Announcer]

No.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, I did see it.

[Nicole Byer]

I was so excited. I sent it to Tessa and she was like, this is so heartwarming. Is it real? And I said, definitely, definitely, definitely.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Didn't even fact check.

[Nicole Byer]

I sure didn't. I really didn't. No. I think it was like in the Guardian or something. And I was like, that's. I think that's a reputable news source.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Which also, like, that's scary too, right? If, like, papers are talking about AI things and not knowing it.

[Nicole Byer]

Well, I think if I was president, I would make all AI videos and pictures have a watermark, A little watermark that says, hi, this is AI. Don't believe it. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Be nice. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Because then I don't have to feel feelings about fake fucking dogs that weren't even lost because they're not real. I watched a movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't think you could say that.

[Nicole Byer]

How do you say.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think. I think it does have all those components, but you really broke it up and slowed it down.

[Nicole Byer]

It's a wild name. And it's crazy that he didn't change it. We were all running around saying, that man's name. That's crazy. Why isn't he Arnold Smith?

[Sasheer Zamata]

But he's proud of us, I guess.

[Nicole Byer]

But in the movie it was called the Sixth Day. And in the movie you could, like, clone your dead dog. And I don't want to get to that point where there's, like, a store I could go to that clone my dead dog.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We're here already. It's happening.

[Nicole Byer]

I know Barbra Streisand has, but has anybody else?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Probably.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, Lord.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think I did see a story where someone did clone their dog and then they were upset that I didn't have the same personality. Which, like, yeah, it's not gonna be the same dog. Like, I guess DNA wise it's the

[Nicole Byer]

same, but, like, doesn't mean that it's like the same. Same characteristics. Well, a woman in the movie was dying of a disease. I don't remember which one. And she was like, oh. And her husband's like, I'll bring you back. And she was like, please actually don't, because I'm tired of. I don't want to. What is. She was like, I don't want another person to have to try to live my life because she was living the life of the woman who died before her, who she was cloned from. Because you're not. It's not like a duplicate person.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

It's like the clone is the same DNA, but it's like different thoughts.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So had his wife died before this clone?

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

She keeps dying.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And he can bring her back.

[Nicole Byer]

Bringing her back.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, God.

[Nicole Byer]

Isn't that wild?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, yes.

[Nicole Byer]

Isn't that hell on earth? Yeah, let me die.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's sad.

[Nicole Byer]

It's a good movie, though.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What's it called?

[Nicole Byer]

Sixth Day.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sixth Day. Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

It's pretty. It's pretty wild.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, it sounds like it.

[Nicole Byer]

I've been watching a lot of old movies.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You have been? Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I just saw True Lies.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay. I've heard good things about that.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. I was trying to finish all of James Cameron's filmography. Yeah, you love I'm a Cameron head.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You're a cam head.

[Nicole Byer]

He loves water.

[Sasheer Zamata]

He loves water.

[Nicole Byer]

True Lies. Water. The abyss. Water.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Where's. Where's water in True Lies?

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, there is. Have you seen True Lies? No.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, but isn't it, like, about a couple or something?

[Nicole Byer]

Yes, it is about a couple, but there is a scene where they're fighting some bad guys, and then Arnold dives into water.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Water. That is water.

[Nicole Byer]

Love water. But Terminator and Terminator 2, I don't think have water.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But they're like the, like, metallicy gooey, like, effects kind of look like water.

[Nicole Byer]

Like water. They melt up into water. James loves water.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

God, I want to meet him.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I feel like that's possible.

[Nicole Byer]

How?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't. I don't.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. But, like, you said it. How will you make this happen for me? Set up a meeting, Tell your reps. They'll be like, about what? I'm like, just a chit chat.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Just a chit chat.

[Nicole Byer]

Because I'm. I have questions. So, like, when he made the Abyss, did he have the idea of Avatar? Because some things in the Abyss. I don't want to say what? I don't want to spoil it. In case you haven't seen it, it's from 1989. Don't want to spoil it. Some things from the Abyss remind me of Avatar. And I'm like, was he writing down, like, side notes to be like, other movie? These ideas are for the other movie.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Probably. Maybe just, like, keeping, like, little ideas. Yeah. You probably have ideas from, like, 10 years ago that you just, like, still have.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, you're right. But I don't have the drive of James Cameron to make them come into fruition.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

But maybe I will right after we meet.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You'll be so inspired. I will tackle that thing.

[Nicole Byer]

And one of my favorite things I've learned is the producer on the Abyss is also the producer on Armageddon, which is almost the same kind of movie. It is.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Trade water for space.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Mm. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Trade nuclear warheads for a comet hurling towards the earth. But other than that, same.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Oil riggers. Don't trade them for anything. They're still oil.

[Nicole Byer]

They're still oil riggers. That also sounded wild.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, should we do a quiz or should we do questions? It's a funky amount of time.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Odd amount of time. Maybe questions.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay. Yeah.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah. Hi, girlies. I love your podcast so much. Hearing your voices gets me through my work days. This is a long one, so I'm gonna jump right in. I have a question on how to move forward with a friendship. We work together, so I can't remove myself entirely from the situation. What I think is an important note. Everyone mentioned in this email is over 30 years old and has been over 30 for the entire timeline of this email. We're all employed at the same place, but in separate areas except my friend who this email is about and her boyfriend. They work very closely together. After three years, or about three years after the boyfriend got hired, my friend went on a date with him. They defined the relationship the same day. She immediately told her family but not her friends since he was hesitant on that front. They share a lot of friends at work and he didn't want it getting around and ruining their careers. I only found out because I asked her while we were hanging out after work one day. After nine months of dating, he still hasn't told his family that he's seeing anyone. My friend told me that she expressed discomfort about this with him frequently. Not in a tell your family right now way, but in a it makes me feel like you're trying to hide me so that you can cheat way. Instead of reassuring her, he simply ignored her and told her it was funnier if he didn't tell his family. This happened regularly. The timeline here isn't my issue, it's that she was in tears every time they talked about it and he continued to think it was funnier to not tell his family or to have a serious conversation about why he wasn't ready. Two years into his relationship he told his family, but it wasn't willingly. The worst part is that after his family expressed how fond they are of my friend, he said I should have waited even longer to her, not to them. This is only one example of his disrespectful behavior towards her. I have more examples, but anything else would make the email too too long. And it's already long. I started seeing my partner shortly before this incident. They told their family about me almost instantly, which as a person from a close knit family, I knew had very little to do with me. It's a reflection on their relationship with their family more than a reflection on their relationship with me. However, it really upset my friend and that was when she started taking her anger out on her boyfriend or anger on her boyfriend out on me. I've tried to have a couple conversations with her but nothing changed. I she continued to blame me for other people's actions, including both conversations, and refused to acknowledge her frustration with her boyfriend. After that I started to distance myself from her and we no longer communicate outside of work. Recently I noticed that she's been letting all of her friendships fall to the wayside for this dude. So it's not just me she's taking her frustration out on. How do I balance dealing with all of this but not completely isolating myself at work? She's Very frequently around when I try to chat with my other friends at work. So avoiding her is difficult. Plus, removing myself every time she walks up has resulted in people asking me what's going on. And I don't want this to be a bigger issue than it actually is. Also, I don't know if there's a realistic scenario where I can talk to her about this, since my last attempts ended so poorly. But I'd love to hear any advice you might have on that front. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. Y' all are amazing, and I can't wait to hear your thoughts. Best tired and burnt out.

[Nicole Byer]

Hmm.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I mean, it sounds like she's. This person who wrote in, has already distanced themselves or, like, put up some space. And I don't think you have to, like. I get the. The description of, like, removing themselves from the room when the other person walks in does sound dramatic. And people are going to be like, what's happening? I mean, I guess I don't know how you feel when you see that friend, but you can be cordial. Your co workers, you can. You can downgrade how you feel about this person and, like, have less expectations for them as, like, a close friend and be like, I can still talk to them. And. And at. When you're at work, hopefully her. Her personal issues in her relationship won't come up anyway. So it's like, you don't have to talk about that stuff. You can just be surface, keep it light, keep it moving, keep it civil. And do you. Because it also doesn't sound like this friend's even, like, trying to hang out with you more anyway, so it's like, you're not at risk of, like, having to, like, turn her down.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I agree. I think it's like, you don't need to remove yourself. Just, you know, hi, how are you? I got emails to send or whatever, but I think it's. I think, yeah. If you don't want to answer questions as to why you keep removing yourself from the situation, I think it's just, like, fine to just be there. You don't even have to, like, be there. You could disassociate, like, you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

If that person, like, really makes you feel a certain type of way. Yeah, just, you know, just. I just think walking away is a little childish and a little, like, overly sensitive.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Especially if this person has, like, removed other people from their lives as friends and stuff. It's like she's on her own journey.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Truly.

[Nicole Byer]

Let her be on her own journey. Y' all work together. You know, you don't want the environment at Enron to feel bad. You know, it's already bad. I don't even know if it's bad.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They're already doing well. Not doing well.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I agree. Just like keep it moving, keep it cordial.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, dissolved.

[Nicole Byer]

Ooh, another break.

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[Sasheer Zamata]

Just trying to like get it refreshed

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[Sasheer Zamata]

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[Sasheer Zamata]

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[Sasheer Zamata]

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[Sasheer Zamata]

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[Sasheer Zamata]

exclusions apply Starting something new isn't just hard, it's terrifying. So much work goes into this thing that you're not entirely sure will work out, and it can be hard to make that leap of faith. Trust me, I know. When I started doing this podcast I wasn't even sure what I was doing. Like, is anyone going to listen? Are we going to make fools of ourselves? And now I know I was right in believing in myself and launching a podcast despite all the fears and hesitations. It also helps when you have a partner like Shopify on your side to help. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Magic Spoon and Mattel to brands just getting started. Get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. Accelerate your efficiency. Whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones, Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography. Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you. Easily create email and social media campaigns

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[Sasheer Zamata]

Best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. If people haven't heard about my brand, Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to run email and social media campaigns. And what if I get stuck? Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer support.

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[Sasheer Zamata]

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[Sasheer Zamata]

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[Nicole Byer]

More questions now that we're back, more questions.

[Host/Announcer]

Hi Nicole and Sasheer. Love, love, love the pod and everything you do. I'm a gay 25 year old boy who's recently come best friends with another gay 25 year old boy. Despite initially meeting on Grindr years ago, nothing ever happened between us like that and never would. Especially as since then he's been in a years long relationship with a man I've also become good friends with with. Anyway, recently I've been hooking up with this one guy, but it's since gotten more serious and we're properly dating now. The thing is, he happens to look just like my best friend. Personally, when I look at them, they feel very different to me because I know them both very well. But I can't deny that there's so many similarities. And my best friend has concurred. They're the same ethnicity, have the same hair color and style, similar facial structure and even similar fashion sense. Is this weird? I've told my best friend and shown him pictures and he seems to think it's funny. But I don't want the guy I'm dated to be weirded out by it. Especially if the two of them would likely meet someday. Am I overthinking this or am I right to wonder how this reflects on me? Is it just funny and I should go with the flow and laugh along with it? And how would you. How would either of you feel if you started dating someone and found out their best friend was your doppelganger? Thank you so much for any help you could give me. Much love from New Zealand. P.S. when listening to the pod, I sometimes find myself singing to the tune of what dreams are Made of. Hey now, hey now. This is the Shears I'm made of. Did I make this up or did Nicole sing it once? Since I know you're a big fan of that song. Okay, sorry. Bye.

[Nicole Byer]

Whoa. That's very funny. I don't know if I've ever said that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't. It doesn't ring a bell to me. Hey now, hey now. This is she here is amazing.

[Nicole Byer]

That's really funny.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I mean, I love it.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't think I've ever sang it on the podcast.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't think so either.

[Nicole Byer]

But on every single Instagram post. That's just a static picture. It's that song.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I See, I see. Well, that's my walkout song now, I guess. So whenever I perform.

[Nicole Byer]

Hmm. What an interesting query that I've. I don't think I'd ever thought of.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Mm.

[Nicole Byer]

If my, if you started dating somebody who looked identical to me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I mean my first thought is like, you're attracted to who you're attracted to.

[Nicole Byer]

Mm.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And I'm attracted to my friends. Like I like I have attracted them into my life and I like, I am attracted to qualities that they have and separately I'm attracted to my partner. But they don't always have to be so different, you know? Like, so I guess to me I'm like, yeah, you like what you like.

[Nicole Byer]

So also they match with their best friend on Grindr. So like you. Yeah. Clearly you're upon. Upon seeing them, they said, let's get it. But then they were like, no, no, let's get friendship, let's get friendship. So I, I think it's fine. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think if no one else is saying they have a problem with it, you don't have to have a problem with it.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. And your best friend's like, haha, that's funny.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. So I don't think you have to like overthink it.

[Nicole Byer]

No, I think it's fine. Maybe though, they'll meet and they'll be like, whoa, we do really look alike. And then one of them will be like, well, I am adopted. And then they'll be like, whoa, are we brothers? And then they do a DNA test and then their brother.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh my goodness. All in the family.

[Nicole Byer]

Maybe.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wow.

[Nicole Byer]

Or maybe it's a fight. A fight club situation where their best friend is who they're dating.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh no, they just been imagining somebody else. Oh no.

[Nicole Byer]

I mean, all of these fun scenarios could happen. Let them play out. Solved

[Host/Announcer]

question. Future bride, current overthinker Nicole and Sashir. The two BFFs that have made me non stop. Tee hee hee. I have a friendship relationship bridesmaidship question I could use your advice on. I'm not engaged yet, but my brain has decided it's time to spiral about bridesmaids. Anyway, I need help choosing bridesmaids without overthinking it into oblivion. My fiance has a super clear tight knit group and meanwhile my friendships are a little bit more scattered. I have people I love but no obvious lineup. On top of that, I don't really want anyone I ask to feel obligated or blindsided. Being a bridesmaid is expensive and time consuming and some of the women I'd consider are new moms or just busy in life seasons. The last thing I would want is to accidentally put pressure on someone to say yes. So now I'm stuck between wanting a small, meaningful group and feeling weird about not matching his side or even whether I need a maid of honor at all. Are there good alternatives? Are there good alternative ways to structure a bridal party that feels less traditional or lower pressure? Is it okay to skip having one altogether to include people in different, more flexible roles? How do I make it clear that there's zero pressure to say yes? And how do I balance wanting support on the day with being mindful of people's time, finances, and life stages? Basically, how do I do this in a way that feels true to me and considerate of them without making it awkward? Thank you, podcast BFFs.

[Nicole Byer]

It feels like our listener who has written the email overthinks. So overthink the email that you send to your friends when you ask them to be your bridesmaids. Do a financial breakdown. Can you afford this? Here's the time that will be involved. Can you dedicate the time to do that and then be like, and I broke it all down for you because I really don't mind if, if you cannot afford this. If you cannot dedicate the time. I am okay if you say no, but I did the work for you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's a really good idea. I like that.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, right?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. And I guess also decide what is necessary to you because I think traditionally a lot of people do, like a bridal shower, a bachelorette party, a rehearsal dinner, I guess that's it. And then like the wedding. Right. But if you don't want a bridal shower, you don't have to do that. You don't want a bachelorette party. You don't have to do that either. You have a party with everybody and be like, that's, that's, that's what we're doing. And maybe you can talk to your partner and be like, because maybe if he has like 11 best men or whatever, you're like, can we shave this down? Like, maybe he doesn't have to have everybody. Or maybe like, yeah, maybe if you have like three people in mind or even two people, maybe you could be like, okay, you can still have your grooms party, but we only have two people standing with us up there.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So it doesn't look like so uneven. And he can still do like his bachelor party with all his boys or whatever else he needs to do, but the only people you see are equal

[Nicole Byer]

or keep all 11 groomsmen have zero bridesmaids. And during the ceremony go, oh, I'm alone, Wolf. I'm just kidding. Don't do that at all. But I like that. I like. It's like three can stand up, but like, they are part of the groomsmen party.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And then also it's just aesthetics. It's just like the vibe. Like, if there's 11 groomsmen and three bridesmaids, that's fine.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Maybe the bridesmaids can keep going down the aisle and walking with the next groomsmen.

[Nicole Byer]

I like that. Yeah. Turn it into a bit. Have a nice time. That is funny. I don't think I've. I used to think about who would be in my bridal party. I haven't thought about it in a really long time.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Have you thought about it?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. But also. I don't know what I mean.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

In my mind, I'm like. I don't know what I want it to look like. We might not have anybody up there. I don't know. We'll see.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. I officiated a wedding where there was, I think, two from each side standing there. And I thought that was lovely because it was like, yeah. Everyone else watch it, have a nice time. We're put on a show. We're putting on a show.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Be dazzled.

[Nicole Byer]

I mean, a wedding is a show. You rehearse for a wedding.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That is true.

[Nicole Byer]

Isn't that wild?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Which I'm also like. You're rehearsing walking, but then also, like, people have fucked it up.

[Nicole Byer]

You'd be surprised.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So you kind of do need to

[Nicole Byer]

rehearse the day of. Because we didn't rehearse with the staircase the day of. The wedding plan was like, go, go, go.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like a. Like a Runway.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. Because it was like going down the stairs took longer than anticipated. So it's like, you gotta. You gotta get the other person going as they're. They're halfway.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wow.

[Nicole Byer]

It was. It was very funny to watch. And I was like, huh? Yeah. Should rehearse with stairs. Oh, well.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, well. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

But, yeah, I think you can be creative with a wedding. Your wedding doesn't have to look like anybody else's wedding.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We went to a wedding that was super fun. And I don't think there were. There was a bridal party, but I feel like it was like. And I don't even know if anyone was officiating. There must have been an officiating, but I can't remember, but I feel like there was like an open time where it's like, if you want to speak, just get up and speak. Oh, do you remember this? You And I went to this wedding. There was, like, in a farm. There was hay.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. And there was also an improv show later.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

I performed at a wedding in an improv show, I believe.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So you can make up your own rules.

[Nicole Byer]

And I still have my glass from that wedding. I do, too.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

That's funny that I. The glasses have been in my possession longer than the marriage lasted.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I know. Yeah. That's a little unfortunate, but it was

[Nicole Byer]

a really great wedding. Great wedding. I had such a good time.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Such a good time.

[Nicole Byer]

That's so funny. You're like, you were there. And I was like, what?

[Sasheer Zamata]

You're like, that sounds fun.

[Nicole Byer]

I was like, you were there.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Now I remember. Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

I remember now.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

I also went to a wedding where there were no bridesmaids or grooms people, and it was a friend officiating. And I thought that was very, very lovely.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think you can make it as, like, simple as you want or as, you know, over the top as you want. It's your wedding, it's your rules. Yeah.

[Host/Announcer]

Hi, Nicole and Sashir. After struggling to make friends for a long time, I joined a women's networking club that has weekly social outings and made a new friend. She is smart, funny, outgoing, and always wanting to try new things. Things. The only thing is that she's 15 years older than me. I have no problem with this, but as the younger one, I wonder if I'm lacking in terms of bringing experience and depth to the friendship. Personally, I'm not a fan of folks much younger than me because I find them immature and naive. I might be overthinking this, but I just don't want to be dragging the friendship down or anything. Do you have any age gap friendships? Am I overthinking this or is this a cause for concern things?

[Nicole Byer]

I don't think you're dragging or bringing that person down because they're choosing to hang out with you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. And I think it is beneficial for both parties to hang out with people of a different age. Like, I don't know how old this person is that's writing, but, like, say they're in their 30s.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hanging out with someone 15 years younger than them probably isn't that appealing, but if this person's 15 years older than you are, you are a full adult and you are probably adding value to the conversations and this experience and.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Soak up all that experiences. She's giving you. Give those. Those wise words that she's giving you. Like, it's fun. That's like a cool Way to, like, bond with somebody who's lived a little bit more than you and. And has learned a little bit more.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. And that being said, this person who's older than you might have friends who are, like, married and have kids and maybe they don't have that experience. So they're happy that somebody who is an adult wants to, like, go do things with them.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

So, yeah, I think it's 15 years is nothing. Once you hit 30, it does feel that way.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like after truly after 40, everything's the same.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like it doesn't really matter.

[Nicole Byer]

40 year old and a 55 year old. Easy breezy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Easy breezy.

[Nicole Byer]

A 55 year old and an older person. I won't do that math. 70.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Are you trying to do 15 or just like, older?

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, 55.

[Sasheer Zamata]

60.

[Nicole Byer]

I think it's 70.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, I did do that math. Yes. Believe in yourself, girl. Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

Come through public school. Yeah. I think. And just enjoy it. Have a nice time.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Because also, I'm sure she's learning something from you too. Like technology, maybe. What's happening with the apps, you know?

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. What's happening with the apps? Apps.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I want to hang out with somebody younger to, like, explain what's happening with the apps to me.

[Nicole Byer]

What apps? What apps do you need explaining?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Any app, really. Honestly.

[Nicole Byer]

Any app.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Any app on my phone. There is something I don't know about it. Just tell me what's going on with it.

[Nicole Byer]

I didn't even think of that, I guess. Yeah. I don't really use my phone to its maximum capacity. I don't know what's going on. I charge it. I text, plug it back up at night.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Tells me the time. Yeah. The weather.

[Nicole Byer]

I go on Instagram. It's funny, I was wearing a watch today and I was like, what time is it? And that nice man in my life was like, look at your watch. And I said, it doesn't work. And I went, oh, it does work. And then I knew exactly what time it was. It was a good time.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Nice. And the time was a good time.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I thought it didn't work, but it definitely does. It is 405.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Ooh.

[Nicole Byer]

Ali, was I right? Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hell yeah. Well, if you have any questions or queries, you can call us or text us.

[Nicole Byer]

You good?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I couldn't tell if I wanted to do the number or the email. Okay. Call or text or leave a voice message at 323-238-6554.

[Nicole Byer]

We also have an email address. Nicoleand sashirmail.com Jamel. Yeah, put some sass on it gmail.com. well, signing off from this green chair

[Sasheer Zamata]

and signing up from this navy blue

[Nicole Byer]

satay, I'm Nicole Byer.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And I'm the shrews Amanda.

[Nicole Byer]

Hey now.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hey now. It's the Shears of Mater.

[Ad Read Voice]

Well, goodbye.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Goodbye.

[Host/Announcer]

That was a Headgum podcast.

[Nicole Byer]

Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sterling K. Brown.

[Nicole Byer]

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that was us now on Headgum. Each episode we're going to go into a deep dive from our show. This is us.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's right.

[Nicole Byer]

We're going to go episode by episode. We're also going to pepper in episodes

[Host/Announcer]

with different guest stars and writers and cast casting directors.

[Nicole Byer]

Are we gonna cry?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes, a little bit.

[Nicole Byer]

Are we gonna laugh a lot? A whole lot.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to. That was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.