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Ali
This is a headgun podcast.
Nicole Byer
Starting something new isn't just hard, it's terrifying. So much work goes into this thing that you're not entirely sure will work out, and it can be hard to make that leap of faith. Trust me, I know. When we started this podcast, we weren't even sure what we were doing. What if no one listens? What if I make a fool of myself? Now we know that we were right in believing ourselves, despite all the fears and hesitations. It also helps when you have a partner like Shopify on your side to help get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style, accelerate your efficiency. Whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones, Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography. Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you. You easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. Best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert. With world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping, to processing returns and beyond, it's time to turn those what ifs into Cha Ching with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.combestfriend friends go to shopify.com best friends. That's shopify.com best friends. Hola, mi amor.
Sasheer Zamata
Hola, mi amiga.
Nicole Byer
And that's where that stops. Okay, we've talked about it before, but I've been continuing my journey on Rosetta Stone.
Sasheer Zamata
Great.
Nicole Byer
La mujer Gorre. They're really stuck on the women.
Sasheer Zamata
Women are running.
Nicole Byer
El hombre is corre.
Sasheer Zamata
People are running.
Nicole Byer
The men. I think el hombre is the men. The men are running. Yeah, they're stuck on running, reading, escriba writing. Um, yeah, this is. It feels like what's happening with Rosetta Stone is the same thing that happened with Duolingo with me, where it was like, yo como mensanas.
Sasheer Zamata
They were talking about apples forever.
Nicole Byer
They loved apples.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, I do. I think I will get a lot of help by talking with people who are also learning Spanish. Because when I talk to people who know Spanish, they can say a whole sense of words that I know.
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
But it's so fast. Or it sounds in a way that I. For some reason my brain's not catching up that I can't get it. And I'm like, oh, man, I knew what you were saying, but I didn't because it Was so fast.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
But I think if I slowly talk with people who are also slowly talking, I can get it better, hopefully, and then eventually graduate talking to people who are fluent.
Nicole Byer
I think that's a good strategy. I've been insane. I was leaving a parking structure the other night and was paying on. It was like a tap thing on their phone and I saw that it said acceptar. And I said, tu tu Abraham or tu abro espanol. And he was like, si. And I said, yo aprente or a prendo espanol. And then he went, si. And then he said something. I can't remember what he said, but I was able to respond. And he was like, muy bueno. And I believe he said, keep going.
Sasheer Zamata
Good.
Nicole Byer
And I was, I. I drove home on fucking cloud nine. I was like, I love, I love communication. But it is interesting because I. I feel like everybody I speak to in Spanish who speak Spanish, they're all so nice to me and like, really patient and like happy to speak to me in Spanish. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I think they're like, excited that you're trying. Yes. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And that's all you of people.
Sasheer Zamata
That's all you can ask.
Nicole Byer
You can only ask for them to drive.
Sasheer Zamata
Just try.
Nicole Byer
Just try. I know you don't watch 90 Day Fiance, but I only talk about it with Marcy, who I host 90 Day Bae with. But I just want to tell you what's happening in the 90 day universe. Just real quick. There is a woman, Kim, episode one of 90 Day the Single Life, because she was dating Usman, Soulja boy from Nigeria, who is a singer. They break up. She gets back home, now she's single, she's looking to mingle. And at the end of the episode, you find out that she, well, she has a son named Jamal. But at the end of the episode, you find out there's another son that she gave up for adoption, Larry, who is Jamal's full blood brother, that she was in like a bad relationship with their father and gave him up for adoption. The end of episode two, you find out there's a third one. She gave up two kids for adoption, a boy and a girl. We don't know the girl's name. And then on Instagram yesterday, we find out she said on the show that Larry reached out to her via like ancestry.com or like, somehow he found her.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
But then she was like, I gotta clear something up. The reason why Jamal was so mad at me is because for three months I was catfishing Larry as Jamal.
Sasheer Zamata
She was catfishing her Son.
Nicole Byer
She was catfishing her son as her son who didn't even know that the other son existed.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, well, yeah.
Nicole Byer
And I was like, whoa, how do you start messy? And get. How does it get messier?
Sasheer Zamata
Messier. Which also, like, I guess you don't know how someone's gonna react when you're like, hey, I'm your mom who gave you up for adoption. So maybe she thought, as a brother, it would be better. But that's. But then also, like, they're gonna find out, and that's gonna make it even harder. You're making an uphill battle for this person to be like, I trust you now.
Nicole Byer
Now, nobody trusts her.
Sasheer Zamata
Nobody trusts her.
Nicole Byer
Isn't that wild?
Sasheer Zamata
Catfishing your son as your son, as your son. That's a lot.
Nicole Byer
It's so much. And I'm just like, yes. Reality television is back. That is messy. I'm loving it. People are really wild. Oh, my goodness.
Sasheer Zamata
My goodness gracious.
Nicole Byer
What are you watching?
Sasheer Zamata
All Her Fault. Have you seen it? No. Heard of it?
Nicole Byer
I think I've heard of it. It's on Peacock, right?
Sasheer Zamata
Peacock. With Sarah Snook and a bunch of other people.
Nicole Byer
That's a great name. Sara Snuff, right?
Sasheer Zamata
Isn't that her name? Yeah. She was on Succession, which I didn't see, but I know she's in that show.
Nicole Byer
Did she succeed?
Sasheer Zamata
I have no idea. It's funny, while I'm watching the show, all her fault. Anytime there's another woman on screen, I'm like, it's her fault. Oh, actually, it's her fault. You know what? It's probably all her fault.
Nicole Byer
Her fault.
Sasheer Zamata
And it kind of. It's really interesting. It kind of is a lot of people's faults. There's, like, different moments where it's like, oh, now I see why it's her fault. Oh, now I see why it's her fault. Interesting. Okay. But then also, there's a real strong theme of men being inept. Like. Cause it. There's. It's not. This is not a spoiler. Cause it's literally the first scene of the show. In the concept of the show, a kid gets taken, and no one's sure how or why or how we got to this point. But a lot of the dads of the show are like, yeah, his teacher's name is. And, like, looks at the wife to be like, what's the teacher's name? Like, they don't know about their kids or, like, the family life or what is involved with the daily schedule, so they can't Answer the questions for the police because they literally don't know. And I was like, damn, I hope everyone watches this and is like, ev, yes, dads need to step up. Some dabs are amazing.
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
But there's a lot like that. That's pretty normal for men to be like. But she. But you got it. You're the mom. This is your job. You got it.
Nicole Byer
I don't think my dad knew any of my teachers. I. My dad, I don't think he went to back to school. I think that was like my mom, that was her jam. That was. That was her thing.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. Which, like, especially in these times, in these modern times, women are also working full time jobs and taking care of their kids. Like, it's too much.
Nicole Byer
It is too much. So a kid goes, how deep are you into it?
Sasheer Zamata
I only have one episode left.
Nicole Byer
Do you know whose fault it is?
Sasheer Zamata
It's kind of everybody's fault. But then. But they're now pointing at one person where it really is all her fault
Nicole Byer
is Dakota Fan again.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes.
Nicole Byer
Okay, so I have seen this.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, you.
Nicole Byer
Oh, no, no, no. I know it exists. I know it's in the ether.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. Which I love. Dakota adult acting, like, as opposed to child acting, I guess. I love that she stuck with it. That she wasn't like, that's, that's, you know, that was my past.
Nicole Byer
I was like, you get to meet her and I hope you say that to her.
Sasheer Zamata
I'm really glad you're stuck with it. I'm really stuck with it.
Nicole Byer
You know, some kid actors, they give up.
Sasheer Zamata
Not you.
Nicole Byer
They stuck with it.
Sasheer Zamata
It's true, though. Or they're like disillusioned with the, with the industry and they're like, I don't like this doesn't feel right. Or they go do something else with their life. I do think she had a little bit of a break, but I'm glad that she's back.
Nicole Byer
What? She was in Sam. I am. Was that her big thing? Her first movie?
Sasheer Zamata
I guess.
Nicole Byer
I don't know any of her other movies.
Sasheer Zamata
She was Girls. Uptown Girls.
Nicole Byer
Oh, I've never seen that.
Sasheer Zamata
She was in a Denzel Washington movie.
Nicole Byer
Ooh, the Equalizer.
Sasheer Zamata
Was it the Equalizer?
Ali
I don't think so.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't remember. I don't think so.
Nicole Byer
Probably not. Gladiator 2. No, I'm kidding.
Ali
Man on fire.
Nicole Byer
I need to sit down and watch more of Denzel Washington's movies. Yeah. Because he is one of our legends.
Sasheer Zamata
Truly a living.
Nicole Byer
Maybe I'll add him to the stable. How old Is Denzel Washington. He is 71 in the stable
Sasheer Zamata
in your old man's table.
Nicole Byer
Yes. Thank you for saying that.
Sasheer Zamata
In case people didn't hear the previous
Nicole Byer
episode, this is the first one they listen to, and they're like, she has a stable where she's putting actors above 65. Okay. Yeah. Well, get on board, y'. All.
Sasheer Zamata
I feel like Denzel. I. I would be scared to have him in my stable because he seems like he suffers nose. No.
Nicole Byer
Fools. Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
And be like, I don't have time for this.
Nicole Byer
Like, I. I don't.
Sasheer Zamata
I. I don't want my feelings to be hurt. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I think he'd break out of the stable and be like, I have things to do.
Ali
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't have time to be in the stable.
Nicole Byer
His teeth are so magnificent.
Sasheer Zamata
Really great teeth. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Oh, my goodness. I love a good tooth, but I also love an interesting tooth.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And his are, like, big and strong, but they're also interesting.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, I guess so.
Nicole Byer
What a weird compliment to give someone. I love your big, strong, interesting teeth. Why? Just, I think, like, straight. Maybe all of his teeth are straight. What do the bottom teeth look like?
Sasheer Zamata
I don't know.
Nicole Byer
I'm only thinking about the top ones.
Sasheer Zamata
Those are the ones that we see the most. I don't know where. The bottoms one. I think in my mind they're all straight, Elliot.
Nicole Byer
Maybe they are all straight.
Sasheer Zamata
Put it on the screen.
Nicole Byer
Put on that screen for us.
Sasheer Zamata
Looks pretty straight to me.
Nicole Byer
Well, those bottom ones, I think, are a little. Oh, I think that's a little tongue action.
Sasheer Zamata
You can tell the difference between his tongue and his teeth.
Nicole Byer
I think those bottom ones are interesting.
Sasheer Zamata
I guess so. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
H. What a beauty.
Sasheer Zamata
I think that he's just, like. Has a natural good smile.
Nicole Byer
He does. Yeah. Looking good.
Sasheer Zamata
Really took you somewhere.
Nicole Byer
It really did. Oh, my goodness. What were you. What were you gonna say?
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, I've been seeing these clips of the.
Nicole Byer
Oh, Morgan Freeman, too, has interesting teeth. No. He can get on the stable.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Nicole Byer
I don't know. I'm really. Something's going on.
Sasheer Zamata
Something is going on.
Nicole Byer
Sorry, what were you saying?
Sasheer Zamata
The. I've been seeing clips from or like, snippets of the Tyra Banks top Model documentary.
Nicole Byer
We gotta watch it.
Sasheer Zamata
We have to watch it. Yes, but, like, talking about teeth and how they, like, actually did dental surgery to women on the show.
Nicole Byer
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Because they're like, you have a snaggletooth, you have a gap. Let's fix it.
Nicole Byer
Which is so curious to me, because I don't know Like, I always thought models, like, it's like, yes, you're beautiful, but you're also interesting. And it's like, teeth are a part of looking interesting, but I think that's more recent.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't know if that was, like. Oh. I think models used to, like, when it was like, supermodels, when that was a thing. I think you had to be, like, perfect in a way. You. They still looked very different than. Yes.
Nicole Byer
Average people.
Sasheer Zamata
But, like, I think the more interesting look or unique look, where it's like, yeah, you can have very fuzzy eyebrows, a gap in your tooth. Yeah. Just like, something that's not, like, obviously, like, this is quote, unquote, standard beauty. I think that's more of a recent thing than.
Nicole Byer
Okay. Back then about Kate Moss. I think she has interesting teeth.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I don't think she has perfect. Maybe she's the only one. But anyway, you're right. Like, Linda Evangelista. Stunning. Cindy Crawford. Stunning, Flawless, beautiful. Naomi Campbell. Naomi Campbell's so beautiful. I love that she throws telephones at people. Like, oh, my goodness. That's fun. She's having fun. She's always having fun launching things at people.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes.
Nicole Byer
I think she did her community service in a gown.
Sasheer Zamata
I didn't know that.
Nicole Byer
Yes. But, yeah, we do have to watch it, because it feels like the clips I've seen, Tyra's like, we did what we did to make good television.
Sasheer Zamata
I'm surprised she even said yes to that.
Nicole Byer
Maybe Top Models coming back. Is this what. Yes, I think this is to, like, introduce cycle 25 or something like that.
Sasheer Zamata
Wow. Honestly, with, like, as many people. Many clips of people are pulling from the past of, like, things that do not hold up well. I would stay away from the franchise.
Nicole Byer
Same. I would go, ooh, that's not for me. And then poor Ms. J, I believe, suffered. He suffered a stroke. Yeah. I was like, a lot of things happened. My goodness. And then I read somewhere that the portfolios they left the show with were too much for modeling agencies.
Sasheer Zamata
Of course they were, because they're, like, in pasta. They're, like, laying impossible with tomatoes on their head.
Nicole Byer
They're like, these aren't real. Ragu was, like, too much.
Sasheer Zamata
They're like a different race that doesn't really represent you. Oh, we can't really use this.
Nicole Byer
For me, I did. I was, like, not super deep in a top model. But the worst ones for me was, like, the makeover episodes where, like, somebody would have, like, long, beautiful brown hair, and they'd be like, all right, we're gonna Shave it and dye it red.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And then they'd be like, yeah. Tyrus says it looks better this way. And it's like, my goodness.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. They really put them through it.
Nicole Byer
Yes. And then apparently her. I was rooting for you. Yeah, apparently. I think I saw a clip that was like. She said more things that had to be cut and then, like, a lawyer was brought in. Or Am I right?
Ali
No, you're right. You're right.
Nicole Byer
We have to watch this. I want to watch it. It's on Netflix, right?
Sasheer Zamata
Is it ok?
Nicole Byer
We have to watch it at your house? Because I have ads.
Sasheer Zamata
Great. We'll do that.
Nicole Byer
Every seven minutes an ad pops up. It's tough.
Sasheer Zamata
I just saw this thing that said that Sony just patented a TV where when a commercial comes on it, something like it won't show you the show until you stand up and say the name of the product. And then I pledge allegiance pretty much
Nicole Byer
to Glad Trash bags.
Sasheer Zamata
Eggo. Eggo waffles.
Nicole Byer
That's nuts. Who's buying that tv? Someone who didn't do research.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
They're stuck in hell.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, pretty much. I don't know if it's actually made or if they just patented it, but it feels really dystopian.
Nicole Byer
Oh, my. Yeah, I. We don't need that.
Sasheer Zamata
No. Also, it's weird because, like, you're just selling the tv. It's not like. Like when someone buys the tv, they already bought it from you. There's not like there's a subscription or like, what. What benefit does the TV company get from ads?
Nicole Byer
I don't know, but we need.
Sasheer Zamata
Speaking of ads, we need to throw.
Nicole Byer
We gotta throw to an ad right now.
Sasheer Zamata
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Nicole Byer
Now. I hope after you heard what that ad was, you stood up wherever you were listening to this or watching this and you said the name of what it was.
Sasheer Zamata
Because that helps.
Nicole Byer
For some reason that helps. I hope you repeated code. Best friends.
Sasheer Zamata
B E S C I E N
Nicole Byer
D S. You said Eggo a while ago. I haven't thought about eggo waffles in a long time. Yeah, I haven't had one in a long time.
Sasheer Zamata
I haven't either. I feel like I probably have been to a restaurant where they served IO waffles.
Nicole Byer
Probably.
Sasheer Zamata
But I haven't bought eggo waffles in a long time.
Nicole Byer
I don't have a toaster. Like a. Oh. I guess I could put it in the. The oven. Toaster.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Well, to me, a toaster oven is the slits.
Sasheer Zamata
Ew.
Nicole Byer
The slit. So you put them in the slit. Flick it down.
Sasheer Zamata
No, don't flick it.
Nicole Byer
Come up.
Sasheer Zamata
No.
Nicole Byer
But I have the oven.
Ali
Oh.
Nicole Byer
Is there a difference? They're both called toast. Oh. One's just a toaster.
Sasheer Zamata
Mm.
Nicole Byer
And one is a toaster oven. Do you remember toaster strudels?
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, they were good.
Nicole Byer
Oh, you really lit up.
Sasheer Zamata
That was like my breakfast for a while when I was a kid.
Nicole Byer
I think I knew this about you.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I'm an old school pop tart head. Oh.
Sasheer Zamata
For some reason, toaster strudel felt like a little fancier.
Nicole Byer
It's like because you gotta open that icing pack and then drizzle it on.
Sasheer Zamata
I'm a chef. I'm a pastry chef. Chef.
Nicole Byer
It's like a lunchable when you're, like, assembling and you're like, it's the perfect cracker bite. Yum.
Sasheer Zamata
And it's got like a flaky outside. So it's kind of like a croissant.
Nicole Byer
It's got a flaky outside. This is so fun. We got to get you some Toaster Strudels.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't know if I would like it today, but I, like, really liked it when I was younger.
Nicole Byer
Maybe we've talked about this, but I loved the brown sugar cinnamon Pop Tarts. And I would cut them in half and scrape out the inside and just eat the sugary inside. And then I would eat the. I would leave the back. Cause that had no use for me. And then I would put the frosted side upside down so my tongue could really get it.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh. She said, let me get all the sugar immediately.
Nicole Byer
Yes. I said, I want diabetes any way I can get it. And I succeeded as fast as possible. I did it. It took a while, but got there. I also really love a strawberry unfrosted Pop Tart heated up with vanilla ice cream. Whoa.
Sasheer Zamata
That sounds really good.
Nicole Byer
It's really, really yummy. Oh, my Ninja Creamy update.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Nicole Byer
You didn't ask for it.
Sasheer Zamata
Didn't know there was one.
Nicole Byer
My ninja. You still haven't seen my Ninja cream with Creamify technology. So I was trying to make diet Dr. Pepper ice cream because I love diet Dr. Pepper and I love, like, a float. And I was like, what if the float was just ice cream? But I didn't put enough diet Dr. Pepper in it? And it was like a whisper of diet Dr. Pepper, and it wasn't good. This is my fourth creamy, and it was bad.
Sasheer Zamata
I'm so sorry.
Nicole Byer
Don't be sorry. I'm experimenting.
Sasheer Zamata
She's a scientist. I'm a cremologist.
Nicole Byer
I'm a cremologist. In the creamy kitchen. In the Ninja Creamy kitchen. I was like, out of four, one being bad. That's not bad.
Sasheer Zamata
Good. Average. Yeah. Is it, like, inedible or just, like, didn't taste how you wanted it to taste?
Nicole Byer
It didn't taste how I wanted it to taste. It was a vanilla base with the diet Dr. Pepper in it. And I think what I needed was more Diet Dr. Pepper than the base.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And, you know, experiments, you have your control, your variable, and your hypothesis. And the hypothesis was, this will be yummy.
Sasheer Zamata
Failed. Failed.
Nicole Byer
But I've made other delicious ones.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay. Maybe you can use that root beer light ice cream in a root beer float. Or I guess a Dr. Pepper's float.
Nicole Byer
Yes. But I got so mad that I put hot water on it and cleaned it out.
Sasheer Zamata
Wow. Okay. She said, no one will ever say this.
Nicole Byer
No one will say my mistake also. Okay. I didn't grow up with cable, so I didn't really watch the Food Network. So I'm very new to Aidna Gardner, the Barefoot Contessa, which is such an interesting. Was that the name of the show or is that like, her alter ego?
Ali
So the Barefoot Contessa was the name of her shop that she owned and operated. Like, that was in the. I think it was in the Hamptons. And then she became known as the Barefoot Contessa, and then she got her show.
Nicole Byer
This woman is a food scientist.
Sasheer Zamata
Ooh.
Nicole Byer
Every recipe I've ever tried from her is incredible. So I didn't make brownie pudding because I'm waiting for you.
Sasheer Zamata
Thank you.
Nicole Byer
But I did make brownies.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Nicole Byer
And these are the best brownies I have ever had.
Sasheer Zamata
Ooh.
Nicole Byer
Let alone made. And I made a gluten free version that was also incredible.
Sasheer Zamata
Wow.
Nicole Byer
I couldn't believe it. And I fucked it up.
Sasheer Zamata
And it was still good.
Nicole Byer
It was still good.
Sasheer Zamata
Wow.
Nicole Byer
Yes. I did not fold the flour incorrectly.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Nicole Byer
So when it baked and you cut into it, you can see hunks of flour, but it's still really good.
Sasheer Zamata
That's great.
Nicole Byer
Isn't it wild that you could fuck something up and it's still delicious?
Sasheer Zamata
That is wild.
Nicole Byer
And I followed. I actually followed the directions. I didn't take any shortcuts.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Nicole Byer
Not here.
Sasheer Zamata
No. Not now.
Nicole Byer
I took that. That left that she wanted me to. I didn't go right and go around. So you have to melt bittersweet chocolate with a bunch of butter. And she says to do it above simmering water. And I was like, what the fuck does that mean? So I was like, I think I've seen this happen before. So I put it in a glass bowl and let the water simmer. I. You. I would have just put it in the microwave and burn it and been like, whatever. But it was.
Sasheer Zamata
Wow.
Nicole Byer
It was so. It was so silky. It was so nice.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I couldn't believe.
Sasheer Zamata
Good job.
Nicole Byer
Thank you. Thank you so much.
Sasheer Zamata
It's really impressive.
Nicole Byer
I'm the barefoot Nicole.
Sasheer Zamata
Were you barefoot when you did it?
Nicole Byer
You know, I was. I was in my house and I don't wear a slipper or a sock.
Sasheer Zamata
You wear socks in your house? No, not since the fall of 2024 or whatever.
Nicole Byer
What was that? I wasn't wearing socks then either. That was 2020.
Sasheer Zamata
I see.
Nicole Byer
I believe it was October. No, it was the beginning of November 2020, because I remember Thanksgiving. I was in Mobile and was dictating to John Millhiser's now husband how to make sweet potatoes. Because I was like, I need sweet potatoes the way my mother made them. Because I'm dying. No, I can't wear socks in the house.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, okay.
Nicole Byer
Do you wear socks in your own home?
Sasheer Zamata
I do.
Nicole Byer
Most people do.
Sasheer Zamata
My tootsies get so cold,
Nicole Byer
I don't even turn my heat on until my feet hurt. Because sometimes, because I don't have like, like carpeting. I have rugs, so it's like a tile floors. And they'll get so cold in the winter that I'll step on them and be like, oh. I'll be like, oh, I guess I gotta turn the heat on so I'm not in pain.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, definitely.
Nicole Byer
Ali, do you wear socks in your home?
Ali
I do.
Nicole Byer
Oh, yeah. Okay. This is like a thing. People want their dogs covered. I want my dogs free to bark. I think it's a spectrum thing for me. Oh, where you ever step on something and it's stuck to your sock and then maybe you don't like, remove that thing very, like, quickly, and then you're like, oh, let me, like, look at it. If that happens, I get very upset and I'm like, this is disgusting. Like, it really does something to me.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Nicole Byer
I'd rather step on something barefoot.
Sasheer Zamata
That makes sense. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And I like to grip the earth with my toes.
Sasheer Zamata
You're gripping the earth?
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
How do you walk around stepping? I don't know if I can grip.
Nicole Byer
I grip to make sure I'm not falling down.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, great.
Nicole Byer
I have bad balance.
Sasheer Zamata
That's true. You do need all the help you can get.
Nicole Byer
Sometimes I'll get up from the couch and have to sit right back down cuz I'm like, I might fall over.
Sasheer Zamata
Do you pick things up with your toes?
Nicole Byer
Ew, no.
Sasheer Zamata
We're talking about grip.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, I'm gripping the earth, not items.
Sasheer Zamata
Well, I don't know if you're like, I wanna pick that up, but I wanna bend down. You can just, boop, use your toes.
Nicole Byer
So did you wake up this morning and you wanted to upset me? You said, I'm gonna come to the studio. I'm gonna make her. I'm gonna make her so mad.
Sasheer Zamata
You want to talk about feet?
Nicole Byer
Well, I'm gripping the earth to walk around. I'm not gripping things.
Sasheer Zamata
You could, though.
Nicole Byer
I guess I could. Maybe I'll strengthen my toes and maybe that'll help my balance.
Sasheer Zamata
Exactly.
Nicole Byer
I have maybe a pinched nerve in my heel. I don't know how to fix it. The Internet seems to think it's plantar fasciitis, but I feel like plantar fasciitis hurts when you're walking.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't know.
Nicole Byer
I don't know either. I had a. I do know I did have plantar fasciitis for a second. That's so funny that I was like, I simply don't know. But, no, I.
Sasheer Zamata
Did you have firsthand experience? Actually. Did it hurt when you were walking?
Nicole Byer
Yes. When I would get out of bed, it would hurt so bad. And I went to a foot doctor, and look, I can't believe. This is like a repressed memory. And he gave me a cortisone shot, and then it just didn't. Never hurt again. But now. Yeah. Like, if I keep my foot straight, reflect when I'm standing on it, and then keep my legs straight and bend over to touch my toes, my little heel hurts.
Sasheer Zamata
Hmm.
Nicole Byer
I don't know what to do.
Sasheer Zamata
Do you think massaging it would help? Theragunning it?
Nicole Byer
Maybe. But I'm. I don't know what to massage or theragun. Because my lower back pain is my it band or whatever. This band here. So I have to, like, massage that for my back.
Sasheer Zamata
Right.
Nicole Byer
So I'm like, do I massage the heel or the calf or, like, the ball of my. Or am I. Do I just do it all and see what happens?
Sasheer Zamata
I would do it all and see what happens. Gotta get there. It's a numbers game.
Nicole Byer
It is.
Sasheer Zamata
Chances are you might hit it.
Nicole Byer
And that's my issue about getting older. I don't mind the wrinkles. I don't mind, you know, life slowing down. It's the aches and the fucking pains.
Sasheer Zamata
It's really annoying.
Nicole Byer
I don't want that.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't want that either. I laid down last night and my neck hurt. I just, like, shifted, and I was
Nicole Byer
like, man, the hell that's happened to me too. Where I, like, I now in my sleep, in order to not hurt myself, I, like, protect my. I, like, woke up while I was doing this once. I sit all the way up in bed, pivot around, and lay back down. Yeah. Because I think one time I, like, was laying down and just rolled over and I was like, no, no. So now my body goes. Sit all the way up. Move your body around. Support it. Now lay back down.
Sasheer Zamata
So annoying. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I'm just, like, not here for it.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. I don't know if I'll try this or not, but I was thinking recently, I was like, how can I sleep in a way where I don't feel like I'm crushing my body? Like, my bones are just, like, crushing themselves. Like, if I lay on my side, it feels like. Like, everything's like sinking into itself. And then it's like, well, now my shoulder hurts. But I was like, if I slept in a hammock, I feel like everything's like, held, you know? Like, did
Nicole Byer
try it. Set up a hammock in your bedroom, please.
Sasheer Zamata
I might.
Nicole Byer
I. That's. This is what. I would like to see this. I'll come over on watch. Well, you could get one of those, like ortho. I think they're orthopedic beds where there's two tracks.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Where you sit up and you can like support your lower back with it, like going up into it and you just.
Sasheer Zamata
I do feel like I would be best suited to like kind of be in a chair.
Nicole Byer
We gotta take a break. Hi, it's Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamada, host of the podcast Best Friends.
Sasheer Zamata
We're here to tell you a little bit about something special coming up. Or as they say in Italiano serra speciale.
Nicole Byer
Mmm, no notes. You might not be able to drop everything and book a ticket to Italy, but you can go to the theater on April 10th to see you, me and Tuscany.
Sasheer Zamata
You, Me and Tuscany is a brand new rom com from Will Packer, the guy who produced Girls Trip and is starring Halle Bailey and Reggae John Page.
Nicole Byer
You, Me and Tuscany has all the ingredients of your favorite rom coms heart, huge laughs and sizzling chemistry.
Sasheer Zamata
Set in the enchanting vineyards of Tuscany, it's the movie escape we've been waiting for. It's the perfect film for date night or a night out with your girls. Get lost in the sauce with you, Me and Tuscany. Directed by Kat Coiro. Only in theaters April 10th. I thought GLP1s were a way to cheat weight loss, but they're a powerful healthcare tool that's now becoming more accessible than ever. With the new pill, there are many potential benefits to GLP1s for an overall health journey. In addition to weight loss, not only can patients lose weight, but they can also expect to have better lab numbers, more energy, new levels of confidence, and more benefits that go beyond the scale. If you've been thinking about trying GLP1s, a self administered shot can be intimidating. But now there's a pill that delivers comparable results that are both convenient and approachable. Ro offers the first FDA approved GLP1 pill for weight loss at the lowest cost around. The new GLP1 pill has the same weight loss ingredient as the shot and packs comparable results to the shot. It can help patients lose 14% of their body weight in a year on average. That's One daily pill for fewer cravings and feeling fuller with an innovative new formula clinically proven to maximize weight loss. The new FDA approved GLP1 pill is available at $149 for the first dose in addition to your RO membership fee and $299 a month for the higher doses. The robody membership includes access to FDA approved GLP1s, unlimited provider messaging, side effect management and more, all for just $45 for your first month and $145 per month thereafter. The ROE membership fee excludes the cost of GLP1 medication. In addition to the newly approved pillar, RO also offers a full suite of the most effective brand name FDA approved GLP1s all at the lowest cost. RO offers the lowest cost GLP1s whether you're using insurance or paying cash. After your first online visit, if you're eligible for treatment, you can expect to start your medication in less than a week if paying cash or about two weeks if using insurance. I trust this source because it's FDA approved and we like things that make people feel confident and are good for their health. Go to RO Co Best Friends to see if you're eligible for the new GLP1 pill on RO. That's RO CO Best Friends. To get started on ROE, go to RO CO Safety RO CO Safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP1 medications based on study and non diabetics with obesity or overweight plus a weight related condition with diet and exercise.
Nicole Byer
I'm back from Mattressential.
Sasheer Zamata
That was fast.
Nicole Byer
It was so fast. I zoom, zoom there. If you could have a superpower, would you rather be able to fly but you can't tell anyone or read people's minds, but only at night
Sasheer Zamata
fly.
Nicole Byer
Interesting. I don't want to know what people
Sasheer Zamata
are thinking at night or really anytime. I don't need to know your thoughts.
Nicole Byer
I picked. Or I would pick reading people's thoughts at night.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. And is it like, are you choosing whose thoughts you're reading? Or is like thoughts just come into your mind?
Nicole Byer
Oh, I think maybe you could choose. I don't. I don't think that far ahead.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Nicole Byer
Okay. If you could fly or move metal or make people do what you want, what would you do?
Sasheer Zamata
Hmm. Flying's pretty cool.
Nicole Byer
I pick making people do what I want.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Nicole Byer
I want everyone to act right.
Sasheer Zamata
So you want to be in everyone's business and make them do what you want?
Nicole Byer
Well, when you put it that way. Wow. But I guess, am I just nosy? Yeah, I guess so. I really am. Nosy. There was a woman standing in the cul de sac the other day. And I was like, what is she doing? So I sat in my car longer to see what she was doing.
Sasheer Zamata
What was she doing?
Nicole Byer
I don't know. She outlasted me. I was like, I have to go inside.
Sasheer Zamata
She was standing there.
Nicole Byer
She was just standing there. It. And then, like, the park is right there. So I was like, did she come from the park?
Sasheer Zamata
It was.
Nicole Byer
It was too much. I should have just asked, what are you doing?
Sasheer Zamata
Good.
Nicole Byer
But that's rude.
Sasheer Zamata
Maybe if you say like that. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
What are you doing?
Sasheer Zamata
Like, hey, you. You.
Nicole Byer
Okay. Okay. I bookmarked this in my brain to tell you, and I forgot about it for a very long time. This is the second episode we're doing today. I had a recurring dream.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Nicole Byer
I had. I had a dream that I've already had happen again.
Sasheer Zamata
You said it right the first time.
Nicole Byer
So I've had this dream. It happened again. So again it happens to me.
Sasheer Zamata
I had a dream once, and then another time I had that dream again. So it was recurring, I think I've
Nicole Byer
had this dream maybe three, four, or five times.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Nicole Byer
So in this dream, I have a house that is a very bright color, but the garage is on a different side of the house. And it's on a whole different street, but it's, like, connected to the house. But then if you walk past a pool and then, like, I guess into the woods, there's two more houses. And there's a man who lives in one of the houses. And he is a. Like, he hates me and he's mean to me, and he yells at me. And I was like, I'm gonna call the police on you. And he's like, and then I'll kill you.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, my gosh.
Nicole Byer
And it's really strange. And I don't know. And I, like, the house is very. It's very, like, visceral. And I can see it. And it's the same house. And the front door is the same and where the garages is the same. And then that man is the same, but he lives in. He either lives in one of the two houses in the woods or he lives in this, like, attached house over the garage. But he's taken over both of those.
Sasheer Zamata
Interesting.
Nicole Byer
And he won't let me take them back to do what I want with them.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, no, that's not nice at all.
Nicole Byer
No.
Sasheer Zamata
Is it scary?
Nicole Byer
Yes. He said he was gonna kill me.
Sasheer Zamata
I mean, that's pretty scary.
Nicole Byer
And then he, like, came in. Not this Dream, but like a dream I had before. He came into the house and was like, leave my house alone. And I was like, and it doesn't matter if you lock these doors, I can get in here. And I was like, ah. Oh. What do you think that means?
Sasheer Zamata
When do they start? Do you know? These are recent dreams.
Nicole Byer
These are over the span of years. Oh, wow. I can't remember the first time I had this dream, but it was a long time ago. And when it happened last night, I was like, oh, my God, the man's back. And the house is back.
Sasheer Zamata
Not the man.
Nicole Byer
Not that man.
Sasheer Zamata
I feel like an intruder in your house or like someone trying to get in your house is something about, like, privacy or, like. Like, I guess, literally feeling intruded upon or your boundaries being crossed. Allie, do you mind looking at us?
Ali
Yeah. It symbolizes vulnerability, anxiety, or violated personal boundaries. In your waking life, the intruder can represent unwanted, shameful, or neglected parts of yourself breaking into your consciousness. It also may indicate a fear of loss of control or unwanted influence.
Sasheer Zamata
Whoa.
Nicole Byer
I'm not feeling that right now, but maybe unconsciously I am.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And the man who's so mean to me, he looks like the scary man who isn't scary from home alone.
Ali
Oh, with the shovel.
Nicole Byer
Oh, with the show. We're recording this the day after Chinese New Year. Do you know what you are? I just moved on from my dream so quickly. I was like.
Sasheer Zamata
I didn't like that also. What am I?
Nicole Byer
Yeah. And what Chinese New Year was yesterday? What are you.
Sasheer Zamata
In what regard? Like, what year was I born? Like, what.
Nicole Byer
What do you mean? I'm a tiger.
Ali
Each.
Nicole Byer
And so I believe each year of Chinese culture is assigned an animal.
Sasheer Zamata
We were both born in the year of the tiger.
Nicole Byer
So deeply upsetting that I was like, you were born in a different. Why did you think it was different? I don't know. We're the same age. My God, The brain I live in is exhausting. Well, we're both tigers.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes.
Nicole Byer
This is gonna be a good year for us.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, yes.
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
Great. I'm glad.
Nicole Byer
I cannot give you any specifics
Sasheer Zamata
because
Nicole Byer
I read it yesterday and it's out.
Sasheer Zamata
But you got the important parts, which are that it's gonna be a good year.
Nicole Byer
It's gonna be a very good year.
Sasheer Zamata
I'm glad.
Nicole Byer
I can't believe how much I didn't like the answer about my dream. That I was like, we'll never talk about that again.
Sasheer Zamata
Truly.
Ali
There was another part that was good if. Yeah. Depending on how you react to the. The scary Guy. If you're trying to stop them or if you feel helpless, that can mean two different things.
Nicole Byer
I don't feel helpless, but I just go, well, all right. He doesn't want to leave.
Ali
Okay, then you are. Okay. It doesn't have anything for that one.
Sasheer Zamata
That's like. I mean, it kind of feels helpless because you're not like trying, you've given up. Like, you're like submitting to what's happened.
Nicole Byer
Okay, yeah, so I'm helpless.
Ali
It says then that that reflects anxiety or powerlessness over a situation.
Nicole Byer
I don't like that either, but this is terrible.
Sasheer Zamata
I mean, there probably wasn't gonna be a good reason why you're having a dream about someone breaking into your house and taking over and trying to kill you.
Nicole Byer
I was hoping it'd be like, gifts
Sasheer Zamata
are coming, good fortune.
Nicole Byer
Someone's gonna break in and leave you some treats.
Ali
But people who are born in the year of Taikar have personalities rooted in courage, strength, ambition, and really positive energy.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. This is gonna be our year.
Sasheer Zamata
Great. Can you see why the year of the horse is a good year for people born in the year of the tiger?
Ali
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
That way I don't have to remember anything.
Sasheer Zamata
She's a finger princess.
Nicole Byer
I really am.
Ali
Okay, so the year of the horse is excellent for those born in the year of the tiger because the two signs share a natural, highly supportive resonance, creating a high octane year for growth, career advancement and increased wealth. As a fire year, it provides momentum for the wood based tiger, while their similar bold, independent and action oriented personalities allow tigers to seize opportunities and lead effectively.
Sasheer Zamata
I like that.
Nicole Byer
Right? Isn't that fun?
Sasheer Zamata
Wealth, support.
Nicole Byer
I wonder what your girlfriend is. The nice man's a horse.
Sasheer Zamata
83.
Nicole Byer
What?
Sasheer Zamata
No, 89.
Nicole Byer
I was like, 83.
Sasheer Zamata
No, 89.
Ali
Year of the snake.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay. We just had a year. Last year was the year of snake, which was like, about shedding and stuff like that.
Ali
The. The year of the snake, 2025, symbolized wisdom, transformation, intelligence and introspection. It was a time for shedding old ha. Planning and focusing on internal growth rather than outward action.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Nicole Byer
I love Chinese New Year.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
There's so many rules. You're not supposed to wash your hair, take out the trash, give people money, go to your parents house if you're married.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, wow. That's.
Nicole Byer
That's a very specific rule. Isn't it funny that that's what I retain?
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I was like, good fortune, don't know anything else.
Sasheer Zamata
Well, you love rules.
Nicole Byer
I do love rules. And I was like reading about the year of the tiger, One of the things I retained was, it literally was like, chill out about your rules. Like, just let things happen. I was like, oh, my God, this is annoying. Everywhere I go, people are like, stop being so rigid.
Sasheer Zamata
And you're like, no, I love rules. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Oh, wow.
Sasheer Zamata
It'll happen when it happens.
Nicole Byer
Hey, thank you. I appreciate that. Thank you for giving me the space and the grace.
Sasheer Zamata
I'm here to give you the space and the grace.
Nicole Byer
Yes. Okay. Are you in town next week?
Sasheer Zamata
Nope.
Nicole Byer
Dang. I gotta see. Send help.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, yeah, Maybe when we're in Chicago. Okay. During the day.
Nicole Byer
Okay. Yeah. Then we gotta plan our romantic getaway.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes. The New York trip is gonna happen.
Nicole Byer
It's gonna happen.
Sasheer Zamata
The New York, New Jersey extravaganza. From the Poconos to the big city
Nicole Byer
and everything in the middle. Middletown, New Jersey. I'm coming for you. Middletown. And I'll get my spicy chicken. I have to figure out how to get it. Yeah, the french fries were also pretty good. I'm gonna be so upset if I do get this spicy chicken and it's not as delicious as I remember, which is like with the toaster strudel. You're like, I don't know if I'd like that.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, that's why I want to try. I want to have a nice memory. Because if I try, I'm like, my childhood was a lie. I had bad judgment back then.
Nicole Byer
I don't want my whole schooling to be a lie.
Sasheer Zamata
It probably is still good.
Nicole Byer
I think people were writing and saying
Sasheer Zamata
they were good, right?
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Oh, did I tell you that Someone told me what the cookies were? No, Otis Spunkmeyer.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, that's a good brand.
Nicole Byer
You know her?
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, it was at my school, too.
Nicole Byer
Every school has Otis Funkmeyer.
Sasheer Zamata
That's just two schools. I don't know.
Nicole Byer
Every school in America has Otis Bunkmeyer.
Sasheer Zamata
It must be every school.
Nicole Byer
That's crazy. Ally, did you have Otis Bunkmire?
Ali
No, I've never heard of it.
Nicole Byer
Every. Even Ali's school had it and she just wasn't informed. What a funny name.
Sasheer Zamata
It's very funny.
Nicole Byer
I wonder if, like, famous Amos if there was a notice.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, that took me a while to understand. So there actually was a Amos?
Nicole Byer
Yeah, he was a black man. Oh, I think Allie hit it.
Ali
So, no, Otis Funkmayer is not a real person. The brand name was created by the 12 year old daughter of the film founder, Kenneth B. Rawlings, who established the Cookie in Oakland, California in 1977. The whimsical name Was created by combining Otis Sistrunk with Orville Redenbacher.
Nicole Byer
I don't see that. I don't see that. I don't see that whatsoever.
Sasheer Zamata
No.
Nicole Byer
And then was Famous Amos a black man? Sometimes I'd be saying stuff that's lies. Yes.
Ali
Oh, Wallace Wally Amos Jr. Was black. He was a pioneering black entreprene and former talent agent who launched his famous cookie brand in 1975.
Sasheer Zamata
I love that.
Nicole Byer
Oh, the 70s was a big time for cookies. Lotus Bunk Myers, 77. Mrs. Fields, will you tell me what year she's 77? Whoa, whoa. The cookie boom.
Sasheer Zamata
That really was a cookie boom.
Nicole Byer
That's wild.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Somebody better get up in that and give me a full book report about it.
Sasheer Zamata
Give you a book rewards.
Nicole Byer
Well, I want to know if there's more than three brands that were created. Whoa.
Sasheer Zamata
I like that.
Nicole Byer
That's wild. The 70s was all about drugs and love and cookies.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes.
Nicole Byer
I'm gonna time travel. That's where I'm going to.
Sasheer Zamata
70s.
Nicole Byer
1977. Let me get them cookies.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, they're like, you need a little snack while you're high.
Nicole Byer
Just a little something sweet to bring.
Sasheer Zamata
But like you've been tearing it up on the disco floor.
Nicole Byer
You've been tearing it up on the disco fl.
Sasheer Zamata
Have a little sweet treat.
Nicole Byer
Have a little sweet treat. Oh, these Otis Spunk Myers are out of sight. Let's answer questions.
Sasheer Zamata
Let's answer questions.
Ali
Okay, this says from Lindsay. Hi, I have a super important question for Nicole. Can you please explain how car brands can sell the same model of a car for years but drastically change what the car looks like? For example, a Ford Mustang from the 60s looks wildly different than a Mustang made today. Why is it even still called a Mustang if it looks like such a different car? Is it just an advertising thing? At what point is a Mustang no longer a Mustang? Ah, I've been thinking about this for years. Please help. Thank you. You're all the best. And I love the podcast.
Nicole Byer
Unfortunately, I simply don't know the answer. But I will say I do think the electric Mustang is only a Mustang in name and speed, but to me, that's not a Mustang. I. If I were to make an educated guess, I would assume that car brands are just revamping models for the time. Like a 60s Mustang looks like a 60s car. It looks like a. Ooh, I can't think of the name of Looks like a Charger. It looks like other 60s muscle cars. And then the 80s. It looks like a Caprice. It looks like other 80s cars. And then the 90s, it like looks. They look like, like a, like a Pontiac Thunderbird. They all like have the same. They all share the same DNA of the time period. That's what I think.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. They probably also. It's probably brand recognition too.
Nicole Byer
Yes. Whereas, like. Oh, yeah, I know, I know.
Sasheer Zamata
I know what a Mustang is. I know what a Bronco is. My dad had this thing, so it's like, even if it looks different, you know, like the name of it, you're like, I'm familiar with this, so I'll get it.
Nicole Byer
I think so too. Like the Jeep Wagoneer came back. And an old Wagoneer is a big, sturdy, chunky car. And then what they brought back is a big, sturdy, chunky. It's huge.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, wow.
Nicole Byer
So I think, yeah, I think it's brand recognition. And then like the Bronco came back. That's a big, strong car. I do wish they leaned into a little bit of the classic. I think it's 62 to 76. That is like their like the most popular model of that car. I wish they dipped a little bit into it. But they didn't. But yeah, that's my educated guess.
Sasheer Zamata
That's a good guess. Solved.
Nicole Byer
Solved.
Ali
Hi, Nicole and Sasheer. Reaching out with a friendship query. My dad died pretty unexpectedly a few months ago, and while some of my friends have been incredible and supportive, some of them have not been showing up in the ways that I really expected them to. One friend in particular was really there for me a couple of years ago when I went through a breakup. But since my dad died, he keeps canceling plans after he canceled multiple times. I kind of gave up trying and he hasn't reached out since. Is it worth it? Trying to rekindle the friendship. It makes me really sad. Why are people so weird about death? For context, I'm also in my 20s and most of my friends parents haven't died yet, if that makes a difference. Any advice would be so appreciated. Loved seeing Nicole at the Wilbur and sadly was so ill that I missed the Shira's show at laugh Boston in 2022. Very grateful to both of Yalls. Effervescent effervescence during some hard times.
Nicole Byer
I love that. Four years ago.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes.
Nicole Byer
I couldn't see.
Sasheer Zamata
You can never forget about it.
Nicole Byer
Never forget. Death is weird for people who haven't experienced it. Yeah, like I remember one of my first stand up jokes was about my dead parents that like went over poorly. People were like, ugh. And it was like nobody could really relate in the audience because they were like in their 20s and still had parents. I think if this friendship is worth it, I think it's worth explaining that, you know, I miss you. If you find it hard to support me in this time, I just would love to hang out. Like, I don't. You don't have to, like, listen to me. I don't know. I think it's worth saying I miss you. I like this friendship. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, definitely. And maybe I don't. You know, I don't know how you're communicating with this friend. But sometimes even aside from death, you'll realize certain friends are good for certain things. And you can put them in different categories in your brain where, like, okay, this person's great for, like, light fun hangs or brunch. This person's great for partying or, like, going out at night.
Nicole Byer
This friend's good for funerals.
Sasheer Zamata
This is my funeral friend. Or, like, this person I can get deep with.
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
And some people don't have that capacity. Also, like, yeah, your friends in your 20s probably have. Haven't had anyone close to them pass yet, but they will. But even, like, there's people in your. In their 30s that. Who also don't, like, have the capacity or just don't know how to talk about it or approach it or. Or they get uncomfortable or whatever. Like, it. You just don't know. Some people just can't handle, like, that kind of stuff. So you could have a talk and be like, I would like you in my life still.
Nicole Byer
Or, like, you know, I want to
Sasheer Zamata
hang out with you and maybe ask, like, is there a reason they've been pulling away? And if there isn't, or if you don't feel comfortable having a conversation, you could just hang out with them in different ways. It's like, okay, I think maybe they're not, like, able to meet me at this place because also, like, you don't want to share that part of you to people who cannot hold that space for you. Yeah. Because that's also unsatisfying for you. So if you have found, hopefully you have found people in your life who you can talk to about your dad or, like, loss, and they'll. Even if they don't understand, they can at least allow you to have that space and grieve, but you can't get that out of people who don't want to give it.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, I agree. I also think therapy is very useful tool when you lose somebody, because
Sasheer Zamata
I
Nicole Byer
don't think it's fair to dump all of your sadness onto somebody or only depend on friends because it's like, yes, they're here to support, but also, like, a professional can really support you and help you through it. Yeah. I remember when my mom died, one of her adult friends said to me, a child, yeah, I'm not gonna go to the funeral. The funeral is just not my thing. And I was like, not your thing? You think it's my thing? I'm 16. What are you talking.
Sasheer Zamata
This is your friend?
Nicole Byer
Yes. And it was really interesting to find, like, adults who couldn't, like, deal with things. And when my dad died, it was like the same, like, kind of the same thing. Like, adults would be like, oh, no. You know, if you need anything, let me know. Then when you do tell them you need something, they're like, oh, I just. This is a bad day for me. And you're like, you actually didn't mean that. Yeah. And you can't take it from it personally. You just have to go, all right, that's not the person who's here to help me. Somebody else can help me.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
But it is hard. It's hard to figure out who those people are in your life.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. And I would imagine there's also like group therapy sessions or like, like different groups. There probably is like a young adult, like children of parents who have passed kind of group where you can like, like talk to people who have the same kind of experience. And that'll probably be a lot more satisfying than talking to your friends who.
Nicole Byer
Who don't have that.
Sasheer Zamata
Who don't have that experience. And maybe you'll make friends there too. Who knows? But like, it might feel more satisfying to share with people who get it and, and hear stories from people who are experiencing this too, and that, you know, hopefully you can have all of it. You can get. Get support from your friends, but also get support from other people who hopefully have a better perspective on it.
Nicole Byer
Hell yeah, dude.
Sasheer Zamata
Hell yeah, dude.
Nicole Byer
Solved. Solved. Let's do one more dude.
Sasheer Zamata
Hell yeah.
Ali
Okay. This is called Help me understand my friend. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. My name is Stanley and I'm 21. I have a friend who will call Megan. Something that you should know about Megan is she's a little difficult to talk to and is stubborn with her opinions. She always has to be right and she likes to stick to her own opinions and thoughts.
Nicole Byer
Thoughts.
Ali
She speaks her mind and doesn't seem to care about others feelings with what she has to say. In other words, if you were to tell her your body hurts, she'll be the type to tell you that pain is in your head and to grow up. If you try to explain yourself, she will say you're making excuses. Although sometimes she's just telling it as it is. It can be very annoying and ruin the vibe. Megan can definitely be fun to hang out with, but when it comes to texting her, it's hard to read her tone because she barely uses emojis. And I can't tell if she's emotional upset from what I said or what the emotional tone of the text is. Her responses usually seem to come out mean or dry. But according to her, aren't we barely had time to hang out because I moved away and we don't text as much anymore. I try to text her to see if she wants to hang out, but she always leaves me on red or barely replies with anything. How would you guys deal with a friend who is stubborn and hard headed? Or even with a friend who thinks they are superior than everyone? Your advice would be much appreciated.
Sasheer Zamata
I mean with the texting that just is hard because people text differently and you can't tell. I thought your text used to be pretty harsh because you would use periods all the time. And I'm not the only one who thought that.
Nicole Byer
Everyone thought that. I was like, that's just good grammar.
Sasheer Zamata
Like, yes, period. Like,
Nicole Byer
what did I do? It's just good grammar.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes. But in text messaging this, that's like a less formal format. Yes. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
You aren't the only one.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. Which I guess they've maybe talked about it and the friend was like, no, that's just how I text or whatever. I guess just don't take it personally.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. I also think the like the communication dying down a little bit because they moved away might just be a blessing in disguise. This person might not need to be in your life. What is it? People are in your life for a season for a reason. So I don't know, maybe the season's done.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Especially if you feel frustrated by them. I think it's a good, a good thing to like take stock, like be like, why am I friends with this person?
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
What are the good things they add to my life? Do I need to continue being friends with this person? And if there aren't enough reasons, then I think you could let it fizzle out.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. And some people aren't good at maintaining that same level of friendship that you had when you leave town. Like if you're no longer in front of them and available to them as easily as you used to be. Not that they like don't want to be your friend. Or like, can't. But it just is different. Like, they're like, I can't stop by and see you, or like, we can't go to the movies together. So, like. Like, to them, it might not be a conscious thing. It was like, oh, I just don't know what to talk to you about. So for them, for Megan, it might be harder to reach out or respond
Nicole Byer
because they're like, well, we don't hang out anymore. What are we gonna talk about?
Sasheer Zamata
What are we gonna talk about? And also maybe like, it feels like if we do talk, it has to be a catch up. And maybe they don't have the time for that or.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Or the energy for that.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. I think if you want to remain friends, you can ask how. How does. How does a long distance friendship work for you? I don't know.
Sasheer Zamata
I think.
Nicole Byer
I think. I think let it go does sound
Sasheer Zamata
like Megan's a lot.
Nicole Byer
A little tough.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. And if she's our. If she on her own is already, like, kind of receding.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. If I said my body hurts and someone said, it's in your brain, I'd be like, ma', am, my body. If I fell down in front of them, they're like, it's in your brain, people. I'd be so mad.
Sasheer Zamata
Mind over matter. Mind over matter.
Nicole Byer
Get up. Get up. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
And also just sounds like this person's young, so.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Which I guess the way they learn is by people saying, hey, you can validate my experience, but it all depends if you want to do that or not. You're not responsible for this person learning.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. So, well. Well, should we do another? Is that it?
Sasheer Zamata
Let's do one more.
Nicole Byer
Let's do one more.
Ali
First, I want to say that you are the most hilarious, beautiful, and stylish women on earth. Thank you for this wonderful podcast. Second, I'll get into my query. I've been feeling distant from my friend D for a few years. She says she loves me and calls me her sister and best friend. She frequently says yes to my invitations to spend time together, but rarely actually shows up. She almost always ends up texting me with last minute excuses for why she isn't coming. I understand that things come up, but after this happened consistently for a couple years, I mostly stopped extending those regular invites to protect myself and my feelings. I found that if I didn't reach out, we rarely spoke. Making things worse, I often run into D at our mutual friends events or see photos of her out with other friends on Instagram.
Nicole Byer
Them.
Ali
The reason I've chosen to distance myself instead of talk to D about my feelings is that she's confided in me that in the past about experiencing depression that causes her to want to stay at home. I've told her that I'm always there for her in those times. Also, she may be experiencing financial hardship as she has asked me to borrow a few hundred dollars here and there. She's always paid me back, except for the most recent time when she said she'd pay me back the following week, but I haven't heard from her about that again. I recently decided to try again with Dee. I had several extra tickets to an NFL game, which Dee and I attended together in the past. I invited her and her partner to attend with some of our mutual friends and me. I let her know that I was bringing a cooler with drinks and food for everyone to share so she'd know there were no costs involved without me mentioning money. I let her know that I'd love to see her and had missed spending time with her. Dee gave me an emphatic yes and said things like I can't wait to see you, I need sister time and I can't wait to hug my best friend. Fast forward to game day. She texted me early in the morning to say her partner wasn't feeling well and they weren't coming. I was beyond hurt and couldn't understand why she didn't just come without him, as we've done many times before. I was very upset and didn't want to say anything that I would regret, so I chose to just text back okay in that moment. I haven't really spoken to D since this occurred. I'm torn about whether or not I should talk to her about how I'm feeling. I feel bad having an uncomfortable conversation about her not showing up when she's confided in me about her depression. On the other hand, I feel sad that she doesn't seem to want to spend time with me and I'm just the person she texts when she needs to borrow money. Do you think I should initiate a conversation about this or do you think I should continue setting boundaries and bringing up Bring it up eventually if the time is right. Thank you, I think.
Nicole Byer
Have a conversation maybe. D. I think Dee's behaving poorly, but also I think maybe Dee finds comfort in this friendship and it's like I can come to this person when I'm down. I also tell them that, like, I think it's easy for maybe Dee to cancel because they've confided that they suffer from depression and it's hard to go out. So it's like you're the person I can cancel on because, you know, I get sad. Yeah. But that being said, that's not fair to our friend who's writing in. But maybe it's like, hey, maybe you don't invite Dee to outdoor things. Maybe it's like, like movie hangs inside where she doesn't. Or D doesn't have to feel pressure to go out. I don't know. This one's tough.
Sasheer Zamata
It's tough. Yeah. Because I was like, sounds like the person who wrote in is doing a really good job of like trying to figure out what is where D can hang out. That's like low pressure. You don't have to pay money. There will be other people. So it's not necessarily like a one on one. We're getting dinner and downloading. Like, Yeah, I. In my old age.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I'm kind of over trying to convince people to hang out with me. Like, either you want it or you don't. And I'm not in the business of like, like trying to bet, like begging to like, be in places I'm not wanted, so. Yeah. But not that this is what the writer's doing, but like, like if Dee's continuously bailing, that would make me feel like you probably don't want to hang out right now. And maybe it doesn't mean forever.
Nicole Byer
Huh.
Sasheer Zamata
And it may not have anything to do with this person at all. Like, it could be like, I mean, you and I have talked about people in our lives who used to be in our lives a lot and are currently not. And like, being like, what's going on? Did we do something? And it's like, maybe we remind them of something they owe one thing about. Or like, maybe like we represent something that we don't even know what that could be. But they're like, I just don't want to be around this right now. And that's okay. Like, we don't have to force it. Like, if it. Who knows what the thing is. But I, I no longer try to investigate. I'm just kind of like, you told me with your actions how you feel. So I'm here if you want to hang. If you don't want to hang. I'm, I'm, I, I'll leave it to you.
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
To be the one to initiate, because I have obviously initiated a bunch and you know, I want to hang out. So.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, I think that is one way to do it. I also do kind of feel like Dee's using our friend.
Sasheer Zamata
The fact that she's asked for money
Nicole Byer
for money and not made it back, Paying it back and then, like, not hanging out and cancel. Canceling, like, that all sucks.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I think that warrants a conversation that's like. So you're asking me for money? I know you've been depressed. I keep inviting you to things. You could have came to the football game alone. These are my grievances. How do you feel? Yeah, I don't know this D. Yeah, something's fishy about d Something's fishy about d Something stanking with D what is it? There's a rotten fish in Denmark. It's a Shakespearean quote, and I think it's wrong.
Ali
Something's rotten in Denmark.
Sasheer Zamata
There's a rotten fish in Denmark. There's one rotten fish in Denmark.
Nicole Byer
Someone's gotta find it. Stinking up that friendship. Ooh, the mind is wild. Solved. Solved. If you have any questions or queries, we got a phone number.
Ali
323-238-6554.
Sasheer Zamata
We also have an email. It's Nicole and sasheermail.com.
Nicole Byer
well, Sasheer, this has been fun.
Sasheer Zamata
This has been fun.
Nicole Byer
I hope we do it again someday.
Sasheer Zamata
I have a feeling we will. Goodbye.
Nicole Byer
Goodbye. Best Friends is a production of Headgum Studios.
Sasheer Zamata
Our producer is Ali Khan.
Nicole Byer
Our executive producer is Anya Khanovskaya.
Sasheer Zamata
The show is edited, mixed and interviewed. Pioneered by Rochelle Chen.
Ali
That was a hit gum podcast.
Sasheer Zamata
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Episode: “Nicole is a Creamologist in the Creamy Kitchen”
Date: April 1, 2026 | Host: Headgum
In this lively and candid episode, Nicole and Sasheer dive into their current obsessions, reality TV drama, experiments in the kitchen, aging struggles, and the nuances of maintaining friendships. Packed with hilarious banter, thoughtful advice, and the playful chemistry that defines their best-friendship, this episode navigates everything from ice cream mishaps to dream analysis and the weird rules of the Chinese zodiac, sprinkled with their trademark wit and empathy.
“I drove home on fucking cloud nine. I was like, I love, I love communication.” – Nicole (03:54)
“Catfishing your son as your son, as your son. That's a lot.” – Sasheer (06:30)
“I need to sit down and watch more of Denzel Washington's movies. ... Maybe I'll add him to the stable.” – Nicole (10:28)
“They really put them through it.” – Nicole (15:59)
“I'm a creamologist in the creamy kitchen. In the Ninja Creamy kitchen.” – Nicole (25:10)
“I like to grip the earth with my toes.” – Nicole (30:13)
“Everywhere I go, people are like, stop being so rigid.” – Nicole (48:16)
“The 70s was all about drugs and love and cookies.” – Nicole (52:10)
“If you have found, hopefully you have found people in your life who you can talk to about your dad or loss...but you can't get that out of people who don't want to give it.” – Sasheer (58:47) “In my old age, I'm kind of over trying to convince people to hang out with me. Like, either you want it or you don't.” – Sasheer (69:01) “I also do kind of feel like Dee’s using our friend…something’s fishy about Dee.” – Nicole (70:34)
On learning Spanish:
“I drove home on fucking cloud nine. I was like, I love, I love communication.”
– Nicole (03:54)
On reality TV:
“Catfishing your son as your son, as your son. That's a lot.”
– Sasheer (06:30)
On model beauty standards:
“They really put them through it.”
– Nicole (15:59)
On kitchen failures:
“I'm a creamologist in the creamy kitchen.”
– Nicole (25:10)
On bare feet:
“I like to grip the earth with my toes.”
– Nicole (30:13)
On aging:
“And that's my issue about getting older. I don't mind the wrinkles…It's the aches and the fucking pains.”
– Nicole (32:48)
On nosiness:
“I want everyone to act right.”
– Nicole (39:37)
On dream interpretation:
“I was hoping it'd be like, gifts are coming, good fortune.”
– Nicole (46:09)
On friend drift:
“In my old age, I'm kind of over trying to convince people to hang out with me. Like, either you want it or you don't.”
– Sasheer (69:01)
Throughout, Nicole and Sasheer maintain their playful, self-aware, and honest tone, blending heartfelt advice with off-the-cuff humor, and never missing a beat in their friendship dynamic.
This episode perfectly encapsulates the spirit of “Best Friends”—hilarity, honest self-discovery, and practical wisdom, all delivered with warmth and irreverence. Whether reminiscing about strange ‘90s snacks, diving into kitchen experiments gone awry, or unpacking the emotional complexity of friendships (and dreams), Nicole and Sasheer show how the best conversations cut between laughter and meaningful connection.