Nicole Knows Her Cars

Summary

"Nicole Knows Her Cars" — Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata

Date: November 19, 2025
Podcast: Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata
Episode Theme:
A lively, comedic ramble covering pet adventures, bike snobbery, signature musicals, failed holiday crafts, what your favorite car says about you, and thorny listener queries about betrayal, friendship, and dating.

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Episode Overview

Nicole and Sasheer deliver their signature blend of irreverent humor and genuine friendship as they dive into recent pet fiascos, nostalgic talk about musicals, quirky opinions on transportation, and ponder what kind of car they–and the listeners–might be. The episode also features playful banter about holiday traditions and decor, and wraps with thoughtful, funny advice to complex listener questions.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Escaping Pets & Leash Drama

[01:12–08:49]

• Sasheer recounts her cat's attempted escape—even with a harness: “He just bolted up the stairs of the balcony, jumped off like Tom Cruise, just like an action movie” (Sasheer, 01:43).
• Nicole confesses to dog-walking mishaps with her dog Clyde, accidentally dropping the leash more than once.
• They debate the pros and cons (but mostly cons) of cross-body and waist dog leashes:
  • Nicole: “You look like a freak. I hate them. I won't do that. You want me to look like a freak in my neighborhood?” (06:27)
  • Sasheer: “It does look like also the dog's pulled you from the dog is like, also walking you.” (06:48)
• Tangents about “nasty” bicycle styles versus "whimsical" big bikes and unicycles follow, with Nicole declaring, “Sit up! What are you doing? Go to sleep if you want to lay down” (07:46).

2. Whimsical vs. Nasty: Transport Opinions

[08:10–10:00]

• Nicole loves whimsical big bikes and unicycles but despises recumbent bikes and nonsensical e-transport: “I don't like those lime scooters. I don't like Segways. No, actually, Segway is fun. That's whimsical” (09:09).

3. Musical Theater Nostalgia

[10:03–13:35]

• Deep-dive into the legacy of Rent, with Nicole shocked at how Jonathan Larson died: “Wouldn't you think he died of AIDS? … Not even cancer. He had an undiagnosed heart condition.” (10:19)
• Nicole and Sasheer sing bits of “Rent” in increasingly absurd, repetitive ways, poking fun:
  • Nicole: “Rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent. How we gonna pay rent? Cause everything is rent.” (11:26)
• They discuss how musicals like Rent, Wicked, and Hamilton have each “defined” generations of theater kids.

4. Cursive, Calligraphy, and Uncovering Santa

[15:50–18:50]

• The hosts attempt to remember how to write in cursive, especially capital letters like Q and G.
• Nicole shares how her mother used to do calligraphy and forged “Santa” Christmas cards, and how she ruined the magic for her sister by discovering and sharing their gifts in advance.

5. DIY & Childhood Mischief Stories

[26:21–28:41]

• Nicole describes sneaking her mom’s calligraphy pens and drawing/crayon vandalism as a kid.
• “I came in like a wrecking ball and ruined her nice life.” (Nicole, 18:55)

6. Seasonal Decor & Holiday Limits

[33:03–36:09]

• Nicole and Sasheer share anti–holiday decor feelings—Nicole: “I think that's what it is. I don't want more work. I don't want to clean. I don't want to set up.” (34:26)
• Tangent: Nicole expresses confusion at fake snow sold on Shark Tank: “You had a cup of water or …cup of the shit, and then you put water in it. And then you mix it up. And then snow grows.” (36:18)

7. Inventions Wish List

[37:18–39:01]

• Nicole wants a “forward Yelp”: “I only want to go ahead. I walk forward.” (38:00)
• Sasheer wants a bed that “just snaps back into place” (38:13).

8. Which Vehicle Are You? (Listener Quiz)

[39:35–51:04]

• Nicole and Sasheer take a “What vehicle are you?” quiz, with hilariously subjective answers.
• Nicole shows off her knowledge: “I was really proud of myself … I'm such a good car, bitch. I knew what car this was.” (40:51)
• Both get “luxury car” as a result—“If everything's a luxury car, what's actually luxury?” (Nicole, 50:38)
• Nicole reveals her true car spirit: “A Mitsubishi 3000 GT or a Geo Tracker.” (51:04)
• Determines Sasheer would be “a second generation RAV4.” (Nicole, 51:18)

9. Advice Section: Listener Queries

[51:30–67:50]

A. Family & Friend Betrayal

[51:55–55:08]

• Listener: Ex-husband slept with best friend and cousin’s wife.
• Advice: “That cousin's not a friend. Even if she was manipulated, she still chose to do a thing that she knew would hurt you.” (Nicole, 53:05)
• Suggest maintaining civility but distance: “You can still, like, see this person, but you don’t have to be best friends anymore.” (Sasheer, 53:28)

B. Baby & Friendship Dilemma

[56:20–59:07]

• Listener feels isolated from friends after having a baby.
• Advice: “Get new friends. Make friends with people with kids.” (Nicole, 56:37)
• “Maybe it'd be best to find friends who do know that experience. …doesn't mean, like, don't have these other friends who don’t have kids.” (Sasheer, 58:47)

C. “How Do I Make Friends When Everyone Wants to F*** Me?”

[60:38–67:50]

• Listener: Queer, hot, newly single, struggling with friends-vs-flirting dynamics.
• Advice: Both agree: Propose group hangs, be clear about intentions, don’t feel you need to change your look.
• “Sluts have friends. …And if you wanted to, if you felt comfortable, like. It's also not a problem to sleep with your friends…” (Sasheer, 67:16)
• “You can also truly just out loud say, I want to make friends.” (Nicole, 66:38)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Nicole on waist leashes: “It’s nasty as hell. It’s truly one of the worst things I’ve ever seen in my whole life.” (07:03)
• Nicole on dog walking: “I don’t get walked. I walk myself. …I’m the dog walker.” (06:59)
• On musicals:
  • “It is a shame Jonathan Larson wasn’t able to see it because he would have made some edits…” (Sasheer, 11:55)
  • “Musicals… define a generation of, like, young actors.” (Nicole, 13:19)
• Nicole (about being a younger, chaos-inciting sibling): “I came in like a wrecking ball and ruined her nice life.” (18:55)
• Nicole on “forward Yelp”: “Tell me what's on the way to where I'm going. …I want to walk forward.” (38:08)
• On luxury cars: “If everything’s a luxury car, what’s actually luxury?” (Nicole, 50:42)
• On baby and friends:
  • “But she's a huge part of my life and they simply don’t care…” (Listener, 56:16)
  • “You gotta find people who have kids. …Go to a Mommy and Me class.” (Nicole, 57:00)
• On friend-flirt confusion:
  • “How do I make close platonic friends when most of everyone wants to f*** me?” (Listener letter, 60:44)
  • “You can also make obvious signs, too, and be like, I'm looking for friends.” (Sasheer, 64:46)
  • “Sluts have friends.” (Sasheer, 67:16)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:12–08:49] Pet escapes, leash mishaps, dog-walking gear
• [10:03–13:35] Rent, musical theater obsessions, and “generation-defining shows”
• [15:50–18:50] Cursive, calligraphy, and blowing up Santa’s cover
• [26:21–28:41] DIY vandalism, mischievous childhood antics
• [33:03–36:09] Anti–holiday decor sentiments; fake snow on Shark Tank
• [39:35–51:04] Listeners’ “What vehicle are you?” quiz, Nicole’s car expertise
• [51:55–55:08] Advice: Family drama and friendship betrayal
• [56:20–59:07] Advice: Post-baby friendship, adapting to new life phases
• [60:38–67:50] Advice: Navigating new friendship when others want more

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Tone and Style

Consistently playful, self-aware, and teetering between absurdity and solid real talk. Nicole is the louder, more declarative cynic with a flair for making even the mundane bizarre and hilarious. Sasheer is measured, empathetic, prone to reason but quick to roll with any tangent.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a perfect sampler of Nicole and Sasheer’s blend of chaos and connection: wild personal stories, pop-culture rants, oddball quizzes, and sincerely supportive (if blunt) advice for listener dilemmas. Fans of quick-witted banter, 90s nostalgia, and the joyful messiness of best-friendship will feel right at home.

Transcript

[Host]

This is a Headgun podcast.

[Nicole]

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[Sasheer]

Hi, Nicole.

[Nicole]

Hello, Sasheer.

[Host]

Hello.

[Sasheer]

Round of applause.

[Nicole]

How are you? I'm good.

[Sasheer]

I told you this already, but my cat made a break for it yesterday and it was crazy.

[Nicole]

Okay, walk me through how this happened.

[Sasheer]

Okay, so my girlfriend bought a leash for our cat and took the cat outside and you know, as far as we could see, cat was just like rolling around, being very chill, getting some sun.

[Nicole]

Now, has this cat been on a leash before?

[Sasheer]

Yeah, I mean, when it was a smaller kitten.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sasheer]

And then we also took it outside and walked him around and like showed him different plants and stuff and he loved it. And so we got a larger Lee or I guess harness because he's larger now. And we were like, let's try again. And I walked outside and I guess I served as a distraction because then he just bolted up the stairs of of the balcony, jumped off like Tom Cruise, just like an action movie. Landed on an awning outside a window and then like, like hit the ground. I guess I didn't hit the ground, landed on the ground and I ran around the front of my house to catch him on the other side. And then he got to like a little corner and then like looked at me and then bolted back towards the yard and I chased him back around and then he like almost went to a neighbor's yard and then like came back a different way and then I grabbed his leash and then we took him back inside. But I was like, I feel like he's been plotting this for a while. Cuz he keeps looking out windows, just like stare. He's just staring at everything outside the window and I feel like he was like, okay, there's an awning there and then there's stairs over here and then the, if I go to that corner, that's the street. Like, I feel like he's been like Mapping it out.

[Nicole]

Do you think he wants to escape? I don't.

[Sasheer]

I think maybe not. Maybe he just wanted to scare us, because he absolutely could have escaped. If he really wanted to leave, he could have. He was right next to the street, and he was like, I'll go back to the yard. And they went back to the yard. And then he also could have crawled to a neighbor's yard, and he, like, stopped there, and he's like, I'll go over here. And then I feel like he, like, positioned himself to be closer to us so we could catch him, because I. It wasn't because I was fast. I caught him because he was near me.

[Nicole]

Huh. And is he still looking out windows? Does he still seem to be yearning to be out there?

[Sasheer]

He's looking out windows, but not in a, like, plotting way, which I guess I didn't think he was plotting before.

[Nicole]

Well, do you think he's an outdoor cat?

[Sasheer]

I think he really wants to be an outdoor cat, but not like this. Never again, sir. Now, if you're gonna run like that.

[Nicole]

Well, how do outdoor cats become outdoor cats?

[Sasheer]

I don't know.

[Nicole]

Do people just put them outside and say, come back? When?

[Sasheer]

I don't know, because my girlfriend had a cat before who could be an outdoor cat and would. Could, like, sit out in the yard and be chill, But I guess he never tried to run.

[Nicole]

So.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, I don't know if they're. If you just watch their demeanor as they grow up, and you're like, oh, I think you can handle being outside, and little by little, trust them more. Or if you just put them outside and see if they come back.

[Nicole]

Because Clyde always has to be on the leash. Yeah, but in front of, like, when we go back inside, I'll take him off his leash, and he'll run up the stairs. But that's. I. I have to hold him. Yeah. Although the other day, this has happened multiple times where I. I thought I was holding his leash. I went to a park. I went to Prospect park with him, and I thought I was holding his leash, but then I, like, looked up, and he was over there running, and I was like, I'm not holding his leash. And then I.

[Sasheer]

Holding anything. Your hand was just like that.

[Nicole]

And then I was like, my dog. And then I had to run after him, and he had just, like, ran up to this other dog, and the lady was like, oh, he's 10 pounds, so she didn't have to do all that. But I was like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. He just wanted to Play.

[Sasheer]

Oh.

[Nicole]

And then the other night, we were walking, it was late at night, and I was trying to walk around this dog that was coming this way because all he wants to do is play. And I was like, people don't want to go through that. And then, you know, the dogs being like. And then barking or whatever. So I was trying to go around this car, and then they were trying to go around the car, and I went, oh, no, this way, Clyde. And then I was like, clyde. And there was nothing in my hand, and I had dropped his leash. And then I was, like, trying to step on it so he wouldn't run. And I don't know how or why that happens where I'm holding it. And then I see him in a different spot and I look down, I'm like, I don't have it.

[Sasheer]

Are you holding other things in your hands?

[Nicole]

No, there was nothing both times. Nothing in my hand.

[Sasheer]

Funny. Hmm. Yeah. Maybe you're just, like, thinking about something. You just open your hand a little bit too much.

[Nicole]

Maybe. But also, I don't put my hand through the loop. Sometimes I just have it in my. Just in my hand and then the hands close like that.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

So that makes it kind of easy to get loose.

[Sasheer]

You also get one of those that go cross body. So you don't even have to put your. You know how to hold anything. It's just, like, attached to your body.

[Nicole]

No, I'm sorry. I'm not a nerd. I just don't like the way those look. Those are really upsetting to me. What do you mean? You got your dog wrapped around your waist. What are you doing most of the time? Their arms are swinging. You look like a freak. I hate them. I won't do that. You want me to look like a freak in my neighborhood?

[Sasheer]

I really don't want you.

[Nicole]

You want people to look out the window being like, what a freak.

[Sasheer]

No, I understand. I get that. It does look like also the dogs pulled you from the dog is like, also walking you. Like, you're both on a leash.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I don't get walked. Yeah, I walk myself.

[Sasheer]

I'm a human.

[Nicole]

I'm the dog walker.

[Sasheer]

That's right. She's the dog walker.

[Nicole]

But also, It's like, giving me the ick to think about it. Like, it's nasty as hell. It's truly one of the worst things I've ever seen in my whole life.

[Sasheer]

Even the cross body ones. I've seen some cute ones.

[Nicole]

What do you mean, crossbody?

[Sasheer]

Like, it goes, like, diagonal across your body as Opposed to around your waist.

[Nicole]

Like a crossing walk operator. Then people would like a purse.

[Sasheer]

Like when you have a purse link, like going across your body.

[Nicole]

Wow.

[Sasheer]

Not an X. Just like, just one.

[Nicole]

And then where does the leash come out of?

[Sasheer]

I guess your waist. Still.

[Nicole]

That's disgusting. I don't want that. That's just as nasty as them laying down bicycles. Sit up.

[Sasheer]

Oh, where you're like where your legs are in front of you? Yes.

[Nicole]

Sit up. What are you doing? Go to sleep if you want to lay down.

[Sasheer]

Is it an easier way to ride or a more difficult way to ride?

[Nicole]

The dumber way. I don't know. I think it's disgusting.

[Sasheer]

What do you think about those really big bikes with like the huge, like, wheel.

[Nicole]

That's funny.

[Sasheer]

That's silly.

[Nicole]

That's whimsical.

[Sasheer]

It is whimsical.

[Nicole]

You're sitting upright and it's big. And you had to figure out how to get up there.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. How do they get up there?

[Nicole]

Who knows?

[Sasheer]

Who knows?

[Nicole]

It's a mystery. And if you're lucky enough to see.

[Sasheer]

It, What a good day you had.

[Nicole]

What a nice day you're having.

[Sasheer]

What about a unicycle?

[Nicole]

Also goofy and whimsical. That's okay. Yeah, I'll allow it.

[Sasheer]

Okay. All right.

[Nicole]

But you better practice.

[Sasheer]

Don't be bad at that.

[Nicole]

Do not come around here falling off. I will say, what's the point? Why did you do that? Or I'll giggle. Hehe. Haha. You fell down again. Give me more, give me more.

[Sasheer]

What about. Okay. Do you know those like, electric wheels that people just put in between their feet? It's like small. It's kind of like a unicycle, but.

[Nicole]

It'S just setting right. They go too fast. I don't like them. I don't like them. I don't like those lime scooters. I don't like Segways. No, actually, Segue is fun. That's whimsical. That's weird.

[Sasheer]

I haven't seen one of those in a long time.

[Nicole]

Me either.

[Sasheer]

You know the.

[Nicole]

The creator of Segways went right off a mountain on a Segway.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Which is honestly poetic.

[Sasheer]

It's really the only way to go.

[Nicole]

Right?

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

I think about Jonathan Larson a lot.

[Sasheer]

Who's that?

[Nicole]

He wrote Rent and he didn't die of aids. Wouldn't you think he. Wouldn't you think he died of aids? He wrote this whole musical that's like AIDS heavy. And then he passes away and you're like, obviously from aids.

[Sasheer]

I think it was just cancer.

[Nicole]

Not just cancer, but I think it was cancer.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, it is a little like. Wait, so you didn't dedicate your life to this, right? Yeah, It probably would make more sense if that. If Rent was, like, his last project or like his dad.

[Nicole]

Yeah, you're right.

[Sasheer]

His life's work or something. But yeah, I guess, you know, he just lived life and then eventually died of something else.

[Nicole]

Yeah, well, he died pretty young. Ah.

[Host]

He was 35. He died of an aortic dissection.

[Nicole]

Not even cancer.

[Host]

No, not caused by cancer. He had an undiagnosed heart condition.

[Nicole]

Oh, Died.

[Host]

I think it was opening night of Rent.

[Sasheer]

Oh, my gosh. Whoa.

[Nicole]

He never saw Rent. Oh, that's, that's wild.

[Sasheer]

That's wild.

[Nicole]

But I've seen Rent.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, you sure have. And thank God for that.

[Nicole]

I've seen it. I saw closing night of the touring company in New Jersey.

[Sasheer]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Nicole]

I don't know why I ended up in New Jersey seeing it. Yeah, I saw it on Broadway multiple times. Have you seen Rent?

[Sasheer]

Not on Broadway.

[Nicole]

How are we gonna pay? How we gonna pay this?

[Sasheer]

This year's rent?

[Nicole]

Last year's rent. Rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent. How are we gonna say rent?

[Sasheer]

Is that part of the song? Rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent. Really? Yes.

[Nicole]

You've never heard it?

[Sasheer]

I mean, I, I, I'm sure I have. I've seen the movie a couple times.

[Nicole]

Rent, rent, rent, rent, rent, rent. How we gonna pay rent? Cause everything is red. No, everything is red.

[Sasheer]

Doesn't even make sense.

[Nicole]

I swear to God. That is.

[Sasheer]

Hold on. That's the finale of the song.

[Nicole]

Everything is rent. Everything is rent.

[Sasheer]

Well, it is a shame that Jonathan Larson wasn't able to see it because he would have made some edits. But, you know, I say Rent too much in this song.

[Nicole]

It's called Rent.

[Sasheer]

You could, of course, but.

[Nicole]

Rent, Rent, Rent, Rent, Rent, Rent, Rent.

[Sasheer]

It's very. Yeah, it was very first draft.

[Nicole]

It is very repetitive. Oh, boy. I loved Rent.

[Sasheer]

That was like the musical that took a hold of my high school. We didn't do it at my high school, but all the kids would be like, 520 minute, and I was like, okay. Like, I didn't actually see the movie until I was an adult. And I also still haven't seen the stage production of it.

[Nicole]

But it's a good time.

[Sasheer]

It's a great time. I think it's great.

[Nicole]

Lovey boe lavie, boehp. Anyway, I went to school, acting school, when the Tides Turn, because Rent did have a chokehold on the youth who were trying to be actors. And then it turned to Wicked. So then the first, like, semester of school, you just heard a lot of people singing Rent. And then you heard a lot of Defying Gravity by a lot of people who simply couldn't divide it. Didn't have it. And I don't know if Wicked still has the chokehold. I guess Hamilton. I would say Hamilton. I think Hamilton took over.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But it is wild that, like, a musical will, like, define a generation of, like, young actors. Which is.

[Sasheer]

Which is cool that it still does like, that. That live theater, live performance is still, like, revered by the youth.

[Nicole]

I will sometimes see a show and be so inspired to, like, create. And then also, I've been to shows where I'm like, I don't know. I think we've created enough. I don't think we should ever be creative again.

[Sasheer]

We're done creating.

[Nicole]

This is. This is not good. This is pretty bad. I am not inspired.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole]

Have you seen Wicked? Are you gonna see Wicked 2? It's coming.

[Sasheer]

Wicked 2's coming in. Winter is coming.

[Nicole]

Wicked back again.

[Sasheer]

I do want to see it. I loved the first one. You still haven't seen it, right?

[Nicole]

Nope. Yeah, but I will see the second one.

[Sasheer]

Perfect.

[Nicole]

I love a sequel also. I've seen the play.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nicole]

I saw the original production with Kristin Chenoweth and Adida and Adele Dazeem. Boy. Boy, what a dream. That was delightful. Watching it live, I was like, am I okay?

[Sasheer]

All of us were having, like, a brain aneurysm.

[Nicole]

Yeah. I was like, oh. And I remember looking around being like. He said, Adele Dazeem. Right.

[Sasheer]

It was so wrong.

[Nicole]

The wickedly talented Adele.

[Sasheer]

Dude, come on. Didn't she, like, introduce him and, like, mispronounce his name or something?

[Nicole]

Maybe years later? But I think in the moment, everyone was like, no.

[Sasheer]

But, like, yeah, Years later or maybe the next year, I think she did something to.

[Nicole]

To, like, play wickedly talented young. How would you mispronounce John Travolta? Well, how do you mispronounce adult Adina Menzel? That's a pretty easy.

[Sasheer]

Especially when it's in prompter.

[Nicole]

I think they wrote it phonetically for him. Oh, boy. And sometimes that will you up.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Because I did. I don't remember what it was, but I had to announce a bunch of names, and they put them in the prompter phonetically, and I was like, oh, no, this isn't nice. This isn't nice at all. And then once everyone got on stage, I Said, please just reintroduce yourself, because I did butcher a lot of your names, and I'm really sorry.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Did you end up being close to any of them?

[Nicole]

A couple, but I was pretty far off of some. Like, when I heard them said out loud, I was like, that one didn't need to be phonetic.

[Sasheer]

Oh, that sucks.

[Nicole]

That one. I did too much work. But, hey, reading's hard.

[Sasheer]

Reading's hard.

[Nicole]

Do you know how to write in cursive?

[Sasheer]

Yes, I have in a long time, but I was. I was taught it.

[Nicole]

Allie, where are those dry erase boards? Yeah, I want to see how you write your name in cursive.

[Sasheer]

Okay.

[Nicole]

And a couple other words that we'll come up with on the spot.

[Sasheer]

Cool. Thank you. Yeah, I wonder if I'll remember all the letters. Okay. There's my name.

[Nicole]

Oh, See? How would I write Sasheer? That's how I write this year. It's pretty close.

[Sasheer]

Pretty close.

[Nicole]

Now write my name.

[Sasheer]

Okay. Do you write incursive often?

[Nicole]

No, but that nice man in my life was like, do you know how to write in cursive? And I was like, yes. And he was having some trouble. He's a little younger than me, which makes it sound like he's, like, in grade school or something, because they stopped teaching it. But he's only slightly younger.

[Sasheer]

He's a zoomer. He's an iPad kid. I might.

[Nicole]

You know what?

[Sasheer]

I might not remember how to do all the capital letters, because I'm for. I'm like, that's a G. Thanks. I was trying to do your name. Thank you for showing me the G. More concerned about the N. Oh, I.

[Nicole]

Don'T do the N's. Right. But the G is just so funny to me.

[Sasheer]

That is a funny G. How does it end? Okay, wait, no, it's. It's not gonna. Okay.

[Nicole]

I think that's. I think that's right. Yeah. This is fun for people who are listening.

[Sasheer]

It's, like, also, like, a little hard for me to connect all of it.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

Like, to remember how the loops go.

[Nicole]

It is hard. That's how I wrote my name in two different ways.

[Sasheer]

Ooh, that end's really pretty.

[Nicole]

Well, that's a calligraphy end. That's not a cursive end. My mother used to do calligraphy.

[Sasheer]

Ooh.

[Nicole]

And I remember one year, she did all of our Christmas cards from Santa in calligraphy. And my sister was like. And that's how we know Santa's real. Cause mom doesn't know how to write like that. And I was like, she Doesn't. Here are all the pens in the closet. She's been learning.

[Sasheer]

You outed your mom.

[Nicole]

I've seen the pens.

[Sasheer]

Yes.

[Nicole]

I've seen the paper, because I was nosy. Oh, and I would also go in her closet, root around and figure out what we were getting, and then I would tell my sister before we got it.

[Sasheer]

You ruined it for your sister.

[Nicole]

Yeah. So, like, I remember one year we got bikes, and my mom had put the. But because I think they were, like, assembled. So, like, the boxes were in the garage or the basement somewhere, like, up against the wall, and I found them, and I was like, we're getting bikes this year. Yours is pink and white. Mine's purple. And she was like, oh, man. And then when we got them, I was like, see, I told you. We're getting bikes. There is no Santa.

[Sasheer]

Damn. Really ruining the joy and wonder for your sister.

[Nicole]

I. The song Wrecking balls about me. I came in like a wrecking ball and ruined her nice life. She was having a lovely time as an only child. Like, my parents paid attention to her. She was. She was wearing nice clothes, getting her hair done, and then I came. And then they really. I don't want to say neglected her, but, like, they were like, you're fine. We have to deal with this.

[Sasheer]

We got to figure this out.

[Nicole]

This is doing too much. Yeah, I was always doing too much.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, well, why don't we throw to a break?

[Nicole]

What do you want? Not family, not friends, not society at large. You. What do you want and how do you want it? Without the noise of external opinions, you may have the space to find out. On the dating app, Field curiosity leads the way towards intimacy with others and yourself. Desire to interests, the space to change again and again. There's room for all of you here. If you have a fantasy, say it. If you have a desire, include it in your bio. You just may get what you want. If life on field interests you, here's a closer look at exactly what happens there. Field doesn't gatekeep connection. In an age where dating apps create hurdles to finding your people, field is built differently. They don't guide your desire. You will be neither, neither punished nor rewarded for exploring your desires. Unless that's your thing. You can change on field, who you were yesterday may not be who you are today. 62% of field members evolve their sexuality, interests, and desires within their first year on the app. In a place where there's no pressure to be anything, who will you be? There's no pretending. There's no need to write your profile like a job application and pretend to be what somebody else wants within within the field community. The cultural norm is to be radically honest. It helps you find the exact thing you're seeking, download feel on the App Store or Google Play.

[Sasheer]

You know what might be the best gift I give myself this year? Finishing my holiday shopping early Black Friday at Macy's is officially on, and it's not just the biggest deals of the year. It's the easiest way for me to check everyone off my list. Gifts for my sister, my partner, my aunt with a very particular taste. All done, all wrapped, all without leaving my couch. And a lot of these items are tempting for a nice gift to self. To be honest, I have my eye on some cashmere sweaters starting at $49.99 and also might finally get some KitchenAid appliances to get excited for cooking this holiday season. There's also 50% off select beauty products from Tarte Kiehl's and more. So this year I'm giving myself the gift of calm and maybe even a little extra leisure by shopping early. The Macy's Black Friday sale is happening November 10th to the 29th. The countdown is on. Holiday shopping season is officially here. Uncommon Goods takes the stress out of gifting with thousands of unique, high quality finds you won't see anywhere else. Don't wait. The most meaningful gifts get scooped up fast, and now's the perfect time to cross names off your list.

[Nicole]

Uncommon Goods looks for products that are high quality, unique, and often handmade or made in the U.S. many are crafted by independent artists and small businesses, making every gift feel meaningful and truly one of a kind.

[Sasheer]

The Uncommon Good site is so specific you can type in anything like Tarot or Bath or Sense, and then they'll just come up with things that you wouldn't have even thought of.

[Nicole]

You're like, this exists.

[Sasheer]

I love it and I can give it to somebody in my life.

[Nicole]

Uncommon Goods has something for everyone. From moms and dads to kids to teens, book lovers, history buffs, die hard football fans, foodies, mixologists, avid gardeners. You'll find thousands of new gift ideas that you won't find anywhere else.

[Sasheer]

When you shop at Uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and small independent businesses. Many other handcrafted products are made in small batches, so shop now before they sell out this holiday season.

[Nicole]

And with every purchase you make at Uncommon Goods, they give back $1 to a nonprofit partner of your choice. They donated more than $3.1 million to.

[Sasheer]

Date, so don't wait. Cross Those names off your list before the rush. To get 15% off your next gift, go to UncommonGoods.com Best Friends that's UncommonGoods.com Best Friends for 15% off. Uncommon Goods.

[Nicole]

We're all out of the ordinary.

[Sasheer]

We're back.

[Nicole]

We're back. Wow. I got thrown hard. Oh, boy.

[Sasheer]

What else should we write?

[Nicole]

Quiz nose.

[Sasheer]

Oh, It's really. Gosh, these freaking. Oh, a z. Whoa.

[Nicole]

Do I.

[Sasheer]

Do I remember how to make a z? Oh, boy.

[Nicole]

How do we think quiznos is spelled?

[Sasheer]

Wait, how do you think quiznos is spelled?

[Nicole]

Quiz nose. Q, u, I, z, z, n, o, s. Quiznos.

[Sasheer]

I thought it was just one z. Q, u. I. I think I did.

[Nicole]

It right, but it looks really crazy.

[Sasheer]

I'm messing this up so bad. Okay, wait.

[Nicole]

Mine looks crazier. Okay, I think a Q is like a weird two.

[Sasheer]

I don't remember what a Q looks.

[Nicole]

Like, but maybe you're right. Maybe that is.

[Sasheer]

I'm actually proud of myself remembering what a Z is. Because a Z is crazy.

[Nicole]

The Z is crazy.

[Sasheer]

And then I guess I probably should have connected the O and the S, but it's an apostrophe. S. What do you do when there's an apostrophe?

[Nicole]

Oh, no.

[Sasheer]

Curses.

[Nicole]

Ellie, would you mind looking up a capital Q? Yeah.

[Sasheer]

Can I see yours again?

[Host]

I think you were right.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Wow.

[Sasheer]

Good job.

[Nicole]

I know all of them.

[Sasheer]

I know all of them. Them. Have you ever tried to learn calligraphy?

[Nicole]

Yes, I would. So my mom, we had a laundry room, and my dad built shelving above it for my mom with, like, little doors that didn't slide well. I was like, you got to get somebody else in here to finish this, cuz this is not good. But, you know, whatever. And I would climb on top of the washing machine and pull out her calligraphy pins and play with them.

[Sasheer]

Oh, nice.

[Nicole]

We weren't allowed to play with them because they were expensive. Yeah, they are. And I loved doing it. And then I would, like, throw it away like the little paper so she would. She wouldn't know that I was secretly learning how to write better. I don't know.

[Sasheer]

It was funny that you had to, like, do it in secret. Of all the things we could be doing in secret. Are you learning calligraphy? I taught you that?

[Nicole]

No. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. And then she also had stamps in there. There was so much fun stuff above the washing machine.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And I remember my mom worked at a department store when I was little. A N S. She was in the gift wrapping department. I don't know what she did the rest of the year. And she left. And my dad was watching us. And I remember finger painting the wallpaper in the bathroom with blue ink. And I remember putting my finger on the ink and then putting it on the wall. And I was like, whoa, that's beautiful. And I was like, I better continue this.

[Sasheer]

And then I was like.

[Nicole]

And my dad was so mad. And then I remember on our fireplace, I was sitting on the fireplace because I used to just sit there and, like, talk. I remember being like, I don't know. This could be better. So I took out my crayons and I started drawing on it.

[Sasheer]

Oh, boy.

[Nicole]

My dad was so mad.

[Sasheer]

Oh, boy.

[Nicole]

My sister would never join in, of course.

[Sasheer]

She's like, I want to get in trouble.

[Nicole]

I remember the first time I stole. No, it's not the first time. It was one of the times I was like, you take something, too. And she was like, I don't want to. And I was like, you will take something. Yeah. I just ruined her life. She was making all the right choices. And I was like, you'll make some bad ones.

[Sasheer]

Together we will be bad.

[Nicole]

Were you bad with your brother? Was your brother bad? Mm, my brother.

[Sasheer]

We were not bad together, no. And I was actually never bad, so no.

[Nicole]

Oh, yeah, I forgot. You're like Miss Goody fucking Two Shoes. Talking about leashes around the. The waist. You would like a leash around the waist. I hate that you brought that up. It's so nasty. That was in my mind for the rest of the day, probably.

[Sasheer]

But then you have your hands free.

[Nicole]

For what? I'm walking the dog. What else? What am I gonna eat, a banana? I'm doing it. You could. I don't want.

[Sasheer]

If you pick a persimmon from your neighbor's house and now you have two hands free to open it up and eat it.

[Nicole]

You don't want me to wash it?

[Sasheer]

Well, okay. Now you have a persimmon in your hands. You can go to a neighbor, another neighbor's hose, rinse it off, and eat it.

[Nicole]

What do you think I'm doing in my neighborhood? Stealing. Just stealing and utilizing things.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

They're like, do you live inside? I'm like, not today. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

Just having a whole day using other people's stuff.

[Nicole]

You know what I learned about those persimmons? They're not ripe. I've been eating them unripe.

[Host]

Mmm.

[Nicole]

They're supposed to be soft.

[Sasheer]

And the ones you've been eating are hard.

[Nicole]

Hard as a rock. And I love them. I think I like nasty food. I don't think I have good taste in food.

[Sasheer]

I think you are open to food. Like, open to the varying tastes and degrees of quality of food.

[Nicole]

Fair.

[Sasheer]

But you also like good food. It's not like you don't like good food.

[Nicole]

Oh, yes, correct. Yeah, I do like good food, but I also love garbage. I eat Lean Cuisines all day every. I love a Lean Cuisine.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

They're so nasty. And then I wanted to say Paula Abdul, but I think it's Goldie Haunt. No, Paulie. Dolly Parton.

[Sasheer]

Took me a minute to get there.

[Nicole]

She has frozen dinners.

[Sasheer]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Nicole]

I haven't tried it yet, but it's in my freezer.

[Sasheer]

Great.

[Nicole]

I'm very excited. Wait, what was I going to say? Persimmons food. I didn't take my medicine today.

[Sasheer]

Oh, it's okay.

[Nicole]

So I'll probably never have that thought again.

[Sasheer]

Maybe you will.

[Nicole]

Having ADHD is so hard sometimes.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

What was I going to say?

[Sasheer]

Did it have anything to do with leashes? Rules, Sister.

[Nicole]

Rules. Sister leashes. Get it, girl Rules. Sister leashes. I was like, what?

[Sasheer]

It's okay.

[Nicole]

Will it be okay?

[Sasheer]

Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure it's fine. If it's really important, it'll come back to you. Sure. Okay. I think that's like a part of, like a trick where it's like if you do forget something, just do something else and then eventually come back.

[Nicole]

I don't know if that's ever happened.

[Sasheer]

Where's come back to you?

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

Oh, maybe not.

[Nicole]

Oh, well.

[Sasheer]

Oh, well.

[Nicole]

What's today? Wednesday. Got any weekend plans?

[Sasheer]

Yes. What am I doing this weekend? Well, I guess it's all holiday specific. And this is probably coming out of. Wait, like, months from now.

[Nicole]

Doesn't matter.

[Sasheer]

Okay, well, I'm going to a Halloween party.

[Nicole]

Ooh. Okay. This year was very strange for Halloween because I feel like there was a lot of activities the weekend before Halloween. And Halloween is on a Friday, I think.

[Sasheer]

Halloween. I think it's Halloween season. So, like, you can do anything anytime in October, and it can be Halloween specific.

[Nicole]

But a party at someone's house.

[Sasheer]

Could.

[Nicole]

Be on a Wednesday. On October 14th, it could be. You're gonna attend a Halloween party on October 14th on a Wednesday. Who? What?

[Sasheer]

What?

[Nicole]

You said Halloween. Things happen year round or all month.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

So I'm asking you, do you celebrate all month? Are you going to a Halloween party on October 14th on a Wednesday?

[Sasheer]

If someone invited me And I was free. I would probably would go because.

[Nicole]

Crazy.

[Sasheer]

I have a very free schedule right now.

[Nicole]

That's crazy behavior. That's crazy. I feel like Halloween should be limited to the week of Halloween. Oh, just like I do not believe a Christmas tree should be up before December 1st.

[Sasheer]

Oh, a lot of people disagree with you.

[Nicole]

I know. And I think it's sick as hell. Why do you need a tree so.

[Sasheer]

Much to get in the season.

[Nicole]

Are you a Christmas tree head?

[Sasheer]

No. I just had a tree in my house last year for the first time, and it. And it's kind of not really a tree. Cause my mom and I put these, like, dried flower arrangements together that, like, look like trees. And they're like. They could sit on the table. So I was like, there we go. That's something. But it's not a tree.

[Nicole]

Are you gonna do that again this year? I don't know.

[Sasheer]

I'm not really sure. I actually saw a video. I'll send it to you. Where some. Someone made an organza Christmas tree, and it looked really pretty. Like, it was like this, like, flowy fabric as opposed to, like, leaves.

[Nicole]

That's nice. I. Maybe I'm a Grinch. I don't decorate for any holiday. I'm not a seasonal person.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

My mother used to have, like, bins of things that would come out per season. Yeah, I can't be bothered.

[Sasheer]

I think I'm doing, like, little. Little things here and there. But I don't know if I'll ever decorate my house to be. Be season appropriate.

[Nicole]

Oh. I was dating somebody who did like Christmas, so I bought dollhouse trees and I put them on my. Where the little. The chest where I put my, like, car keys and stuff. There you go.

[Sasheer]

There's something.

[Nicole]

I was like, that's Christmasy, right? That's a nice time.

[Sasheer]

You see it whenever you walk in the door.

[Nicole]

He was like, why try? I was like, all right. That's not nice. I did try.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But, hey, whatever. Whatever.

[Sasheer]

My ex did buy these lights that you can shine onto the house that makes it look Christmasy. And I was like, okay, that requires no work for me. That's really nice.

[Nicole]

I think that's what it is. I don't want more work. I don't want to clean. I don't want to set up. I don't want to do that.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

My old roommate, John Milheiser. John Millheiser, my old roommate. He had a tree, and now he's got a train set, and he's got so many decorations, and he dresses up, like, right in front of the tv. And then I'll go over there and he'll be like, look at the train. And we'll just stare at that train for a little bit. And I'm like, that's nice.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

I don't think I understand decorations in my house.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But others. That's a nice time.

[Sasheer]

Maybe people are trying to connect to some sort of, like, childlike whimsy or, like, it's like there's some, like, nostalgia there or something like that.

[Nicole]

Probably. Did you decorate your house growing up?

[Sasheer]

No, I don't think so.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

I really don't have. I guess there was a tree in my house on Christmas, but then after my parents split, kind of. Not really. It really wasn't a thing. Or like, maybe, like, last minute, we would remember to, like, put up a plastic tree or something like that.

[Nicole]

We had a tree with branches. Like, it was a fake tree.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

That lived in a box.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But then you would have put each branch in one at a time. Oh, it was hell on earth. It made me so mad. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

It's work.

[Nicole]

Maybe that. Yeah. I think. I don't like the work. And I don't. Because it's. Then I gotta take it down.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. And.

[Nicole]

What? I just stare at a tree every night. I wonder.

[Sasheer]

There's probably. There's probably companies that will, like, come and decorate the house inside and out, and then maybe they'll take it down too.

[Nicole]

Oh. I was watching Shark Tank yesterday, and there was a man who was selling snow.

[Sasheer]

Like. What do you mean?

[Nicole]

Like, I won't explain it anymore. Oh. I don't know if it was cold. Maybe it was. But you had a cup of water or. No, a cup of the shit. And then you put water in it. And then you mix it up. And then snow grows.

[Sasheer]

Whoa.

[Nicole]

And then it dehydrates, and then it rehydrates based on the environment. So it was like. If you open it in the house and then, like, something leaks, you'll have.

[Sasheer]

Snow again, I guess. And was it for inside the house or for, like, your yard?

[Nicole]

I think it's for the children to play inside the house.

[Sasheer]

It's for the children.

[Nicole]

Just for the children. Don't know where, but, yeah, I think it's for, like, inside the house. And he said it was for, like, movies and television. Shark Tank is truly an interesting thing. Isn't it wild that everything hasn't been invented?

[Sasheer]

It is actually kind of wild. You would think, like, we probably got it covered. No technology's done. People are thinking of things. And that's nice.

[Nicole]

It is nice. What do you want?

[Sasheer]

Like, that hasn't been invented?

[Nicole]

I don't know.

[Sasheer]

Do you have an answer for this?

[Nicole]

Do you already? Yeah. As my hair grows out, I wish there was, like, a clampy thing that I could clamp on it to, like, make it re braided.

[Sasheer]

Ooh, that's good.

[Nicole]

So I didn't have to get it touched up as often.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, that's great.

[Nicole]

I wish there was a forward yelp.

[Sasheer]

Forward yelp.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I'll explain it. So, okay, when you yelp things and you're driving, it tells you stuff behind you and in front of you, but I want. I just want to go forward. I don't want to get off the highway to go back where I came from.

[Sasheer]

I see.

[Nicole]

I only want to go ahead. I walk forward.

[Sasheer]

Yo. I like that. Yeah.

[Nicole]

Tell me what's on the way to where I'm going.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. I think I'd like something that, like, would snap my bed back into place. Like. Like, make my bed for me.

[Nicole]

Oh, I was confused. I was like, snap your bed back into place?

[Sasheer]

I guess in my mind, I'm visualizing, like, if the sheets are, like, you know, in the middle of the bed, like, I push a button and like. Like, straightens up, snaps back into place.

[Nicole]

That, I think is actually hard.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Well, I mean, unless there's, like, wires in your sheets, how are they snapping back into place? I don't know. Like a snap bracelet.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Or maybe it's like some sort of loose string that when you hit it right, it straightens out.

[Nicole]

That's really funny. Just strings in your sheets. It's like, well, you can just make it. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

At this point, we just do it yourself. That's true.

[Nicole]

Should we answer questions or play the buzzfeed? I'm not. Okay.

[Host]

We actually got a listener email with some quiz ideas that weren't from Buzzfeed.

[Sasheer]

Oh, let's hear that.

[Nicole]

Okay, so I'll.

[Host]

Let me know what you respond to. What vegetable are you? What animal are you? Food discussed Quiz. Which vehicle are you? And then they have a Halloween One vehicle, please.

[Nicole]

Can I tell you a story?

[Sasheer]

Yes.

[Nicole]

I went to dinner with Madeline, our friend Madeline, and she was driving a different car than she normally drives. And I said, where's your car? And she said, oh, this is my brother's car, because he got an old SUV that's a stick shift, and he's having so much fun driving it. And he said that he had to make friends with the other people in the area who drive the same car. And I was like, so it's a rare suv. And I was like, well, what kind isn't? She was like, well, I'll ask him. And then she was like, oh, I'll scroll through our text to see if he texted it to me. And I was like, well, how many doors is it? She was like, definitely four doors. And I was like, okay, a rare SUV that's four doors. So I was like, it's not a Bronco. It's not a Dodge Raider. Or, like a Mitsubishi Pajero, which is like the cousin of the Dodge Raider. And then I was like, but that's the only rare SUV that I've seen in our area. I once followed one because I didn't know what kind of car it was. And I was like, is that a Pajero or is that a Dodge? It looks like a Pajero, but it says Dodge. So I followed him, and I think he knew I was following him because he started driving crazy and sped away. Turns out it was a Dodge Raider. And I was correct off of nothing.

[Sasheer]

Wow. Good job.

[Nicole]

I was really proud of myself. I'm proud of you too. I truly sent a voice memo to that nice man in my life. And I was like, guess what?

[Sasheer]

I'm such a good car, bitch.

[Nicole]

I knew what car this was. And he was like, good job.

[Sasheer]

I wonder if there's, like, car trivia games or, like, car trivia shows that where you, like, win something for your knowledge.

[Nicole]

I don't know. Maybe I just bought the encyclopedia cars from the editors of Consumer Reports and I squealed when I found it. I can't wait to just sit on my couch and look at cars, Excited for you. And then I didn't know this. I don't know how true this is because I didn't double check the facts, but I saw on a Reddit thread, I've always wondered why Dodge and Mitsubishi shared platforms for cars. Apparently Dodge or Chrysler at the time bought steak in Mitsubishi. So then they had, like, a percentage of ownership so they could interchange platforms. I don't know how true that is. I gotta double check. Yeah. Let's take a break. We're back. What vehicle am I?

[Sasheer]

Which is your least favorite candy?

[Nicole]

Peppermint lollipop, Gummy bears, Licorice. Jolly Rancher, Candy corn.

[Sasheer]

My least favorite's candy corn.

[Nicole]

Well, actually.

[Sasheer]

Interesting.

[Nicole]

I hate candy corn, but I would eat candy corn over licorice. I hate licorice.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, I was. That's the one. I was. I was like, I don't think I eat licorice either.

[Nicole]

I also don't like peppermint.

[Sasheer]

Like a little, like, mint.

[Nicole]

I don't. Yeah, I. I like. I could do the red and white ones. The suckums.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But sometimes they'll be soft. Have you ever, like, I had a soft pepper.

[Sasheer]

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna say licorice as well.

[Nicole]

If you took a few days off, what would you like to do? Go to the beach, go to the mountains, visit a museum for a few days, Take a. Taking a boat ride, party, relax at home. A few days off, I'd like to go somewhere. I think I would like to go to, like, a beach. I'd like to go to a beach town. I love the water.

[Sasheer]

You do love the water. I would probably relax at home. Which of these sports is your favorite?

[Nicole]

Basketball, baseball, soccer, football. I am a sports fanatic.

[Sasheer]

I don't care for sports.

[Nicole]

I like basketball.

[Sasheer]

I guess I don't care for sports. I was thinking maybe I would say football because I probably. I've seen football the most out of all of them.

[Nicole]

Yeah, but do you enjoy watching football?

[Sasheer]

No, Like, I don't watch it on my own, but if it's on and someone explains, like, the teams to me, I mostly care about the gossip. If it's like, ooh, they traded so and so to so over this team and now they're finally playing each other and, you know, there's like always gossip.

[Nicole]

That's very funny that.

[Sasheer]

I like.

[Nicole]

You like the gossip of sports.

[Sasheer]

I do. But actually watching it, I'm like, okay, fair.

[Nicole]

I like basketball. I think basketball's exciting. And I've been to many a WNBA game.

[Sasheer]

What is your least favorite holiday? Halloween, New Year's Eve, Christmas, Valentine's Day.

[Nicole]

A Thanksgiving. Easter Mistake. Easter's dumb as hell to me.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, I don't really celebrate Easter. I guess when I was a kid, for egg hunting, egg coloring, egg hunting.

[Nicole]

I just never heard it called egg hunting. But it is an Easter egg hunt. You just eliminated the Easter part of it. The egg hunt. The great egg hunt.

[Sasheer]

The great egg hunt. Yeah. That's the one I care about the least.

[Nicole]

Yeah. I don't give a shit. Choose a beverage.

[Sasheer]

Coffee.

[Nicole]

Smoothie, Beer, A beverage. Wine, energy drink, soft drink.

[Sasheer]

Okay.

[Nicole]

I'm going say coffee. I do love wine, though. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

I would say a.

[Nicole]

To me, smoothie is not beverage. Smoothie, food, Smoothie, food, smoothie, meal replacement.

[Sasheer]

Smoothie. It is.

[Nicole]

It is food.

[Sasheer]

It is a bunch of blended up food. Maybe I would say wine. Out of all these, Which of these dishes would you order at a restaurant?

[Nicole]

Sushi, fried chicken, seafood, pasta, steak. Mmm. Barbecue salad. Well, it depends on what restaurant I'm at. Am I at a sushi place or a barbecue spot or a steakhouse? Maybe? This place has all of the.

[Sasheer]

All of these options.

[Nicole]

That's crazy. I'm picking a steak.

[Sasheer]

I'd pick fried chicken.

[Nicole]

I do. Have you had Gus's fried chicken?

[Sasheer]

I think I have.

[Nicole]

Oh, that's nice. Which is your favorite kind of salad dressing? Ranch vinaigrette.

[Sasheer]

Caesar.

[Nicole]

Blue cheese is disgusting.

[Sasheer]

Honey mustard, Thousand islands.

[Nicole]

Pretty nasty. Ranch.

[Sasheer]

Obviously, I would pick vinaigrette. Oh, this feels lighter to me. Ranch could be light. I don't think it can. It's so creamy.

[Nicole]

I just love ranch. It's such a good flavor to me. Which of these animals would you choose for a pet?

[Sasheer]

A bird, Snake, Cat, Fish, Dog.

[Nicole]

Spider. Okay, well, dog, yeah, that's what I have.

[Sasheer]

I would say cat.

[Nicole]

I can't imagine having a snake in my house. Yeah, there's a snake in my boot.

[Sasheer]

There was a video of a snake, one of those really long yellow ones that was like.

[Nicole]

Like a python maybe.

[Sasheer]

I don't really know. I don't know the names of snakes, but it was laying, like, link, like, long ways next to a little girl, a child. And whatever the caption was is like, ah. Like, I don't know, the snake is cuddling with its owner or whatever. It's like it's trying to be as long as the kid. And someone in the comments was like, this snake is measuring how long this kid is to eat it, to be.

[Nicole]

Like, can I fill?

[Sasheer]

Can I get inside me? Yeah.

[Nicole]

Oh, my God. That's wild. Yeah. I don't want a predator in my house.

[Sasheer]

I know the world's scurry enough. Truly. If you were in a rock band, which member would you be? Lead guitar, Singer?

[Nicole]

Rhythm guitar?

[Sasheer]

Drums?

[Nicole]

Bass guitar.

[Sasheer]

Sound control. Man.

[Nicole]

That's so funny that someone's like, I want to be sound control.

[Sasheer]

It's also very important.

[Nicole]

It is important, but really, behind the scenes, I'm gonna be the singer. Are you kidding?

[Sasheer]

Maybe I'd be lead guitar.

[Nicole]

Can you take me higher?

[Sasheer]

That did look like the. The Creed guy.

[Nicole]

Scott staff.

[Sasheer]

Yes, I think so.

[Nicole]

I think that's his name. Uh. Oh.

[Sasheer]

Choose a color.

[Nicole]

But there's no color names.

[Sasheer]

Oh, no.

[Nicole]

Red.

[Sasheer]

Why would they do it like that couple? Okay, there's a mystery color.

[Nicole]

Mystery color. Red. Mystery color.

[Sasheer]

Blue, black, yellow. They also need to type it out, because what if someone's colorblind and they're interpreting these colors differently. Ableist much.

[Nicole]

Who.

[Sasheer]

What. What side is this?

[Nicole]

Yeah, what side is this? They're ableist.

[Sasheer]

Cancel them.

[Nicole]

I'm gonna say red.

[Sasheer]

I would say I like yellow.

[Host]

Cheery.

[Nicole]

Safety color.

[Sasheer]

Is it a safety color? Yeah, like caution tape.

[Nicole]

Is that me? This is you. I'm a luxury car. You enjoy the finer things in life. You are the one everyone turns to see as you enter the room. From young to old, people secretly want to be you. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

That makes sense. I'm also a luxury car. I feel like my answers are pretty different from yours. I mean, some are similar, I guess.

[Nicole]

This quiz says no one's different. You're all.

[Sasheer]

You're all luxury cars.

[Nicole]

You're all luxury cars.

[Sasheer]

And isn't that nice? But yeah, we're all luxury cars.

[Nicole]

Are.

[Sasheer]

Are we luxury cars?

[Nicole]

Yeah. That's interesting. If everything's a luxury car, what's actually luxury?

[Sasheer]

Exactly.

[Nicole]

But also, that's not a luxury car. That is a sports car. It's a sports. Luxury car. Yeah, because a luxury car is technically like a Cadillac, like a sedan.

[Sasheer]

But I thought that. I also thought they were going to be specific, which, like me.

[Nicole]

Like a Mitsubishi Eclipse.

[Sasheer]

Exactly. What car would you be?

[Nicole]

A Mitsubishi 3000 GT or a Geo Tracker or a Suzuki side or Suzuki Jiminy. What would you be?

[Sasheer]

You gotta tell me, because I don't know cars.

[Nicole]

You're a RAV4. Yeah, but not this generation. Second generation RAV4.

[Sasheer]

I like that. Reliable.

[Nicole]

Should we answer queries and questions and whatnot?

[Sasheer]

Let's do that.

[Nicole]

Does my crush like me Quiz. I've taken those quizzes before. And Truly, most of the questions are like, do they ignore you? Do they hit you? Have they spit on you? Do they close your eyes when. When. When you walk into the roof, do.

[Sasheer]

They know your name?

[Nicole]

Like Truly? Those are the questions. And there's been times where I'm like, yep, yep. They close their eyes when I walk in the room. They don't know my name. It's like they don't like it.

[Sasheer]

They don't like you then. That's funny.

[Host]

This is called I have a query. It's a doozy. So hold. I'm recently going through a divorce from my husband of 12 years. I found out shortly after the separation he was dating. So slash sleeping with a friend of mine. She wasn't a close friend, so it was easy to cut her out of my life. But now I just found out he also slept with my cousin's wife, who's also my best Friend. It happened two years ago, well before the separation and while I was sleeping downstairs. Apparently, they had an emotional connection that included texts, pictures, videos. Well before the hookup happened. So here's my question. What the heck do I do? First, she is family, and everyone knows how close we are, so family functions are going to be awkward if we're not speaking. Second, I know my evil ex manipulated her. She was going through a rough patch with her husband and took the opportunity. There seems to be similar patterns of manipulation that my ex used to sleep with my BFF and my ex friend. Should I factor this into how I feel about my bff? My cousin decided to continue with the marriage and work through things, but I'm still hurt. Help. Love you guys.

[Nicole]

That cousin's not a friend.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Even if she was manipulated, she still chose to do a thing that she knew would hurt you. I think if you can forgive and forget, do it. But also, you don't owe anything to that person. They actually really betrayed your trust.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And I think you don't have to not speak. I think it could be very cordial.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Yeah. You can still, like, see this person, but you don't have to be best friends anymore. And I agree. Like, I don't doubt that your ex was a manipulator, but everyone's an adult in this situation, and everyone makes choices. And also, it sounds like it wasn't like a heat of the moment. We, like, you know, we were drunk and we had sloppy sex. There was an emotional affair and texting before they even had sex.

[Nicole]

So it sounds like then you were time to think about it.

[Sasheer]

That sucks.

[Nicole]

Upstairs while you were sleeping makes even less sense.

[Sasheer]

Because if it's like, oh, we were out of town and none of our partners were here.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sasheer]

It's like, no, you know who you're downstairs. Yeah.

[Nicole]

They wanted to hurt you. That's grimy. Yeah. That's nasty. Yeah, I think nasty work.

[Sasheer]

I think it's like, it's okay to be distant with this person.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

If you feel like, you know it, you don't want to cut them out of your life completely because they're your family. You don't have to. But, yeah. No, you definitely don't owe them your no kindness.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

They lost personality privileges.

[Nicole]

I agree. I think you're bland. As bland as can be.

[Sasheer]

Sure.

[Nicole]

If you want to talk to me, tell me what you need to say.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Okay. Well, I got to go.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Hi. How are you? I'm fine.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Keep it civil.

[Nicole]

But yikes. I don't like her. She's disgusting.

[Sasheer]

I, you know. Yeah. I'm kind of like, throw everyone away.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

Throw the friends away.

[Nicole]

Yeah. It's like you start fresh.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Yeah. These people are. They suck.

[Sasheer]

They suck. I don't like that.

[Nicole]

They're waste leashes.

[Sasheer]

These are waste leash people.

[Nicole]

Nasty.

[Sasheer]

Solved.

[Nicole]

Solved.

[Host]

Okay. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. I'm such a big fan of you both, and I wanted to get your perspective on something, especially after hearing. Hearing you talk about babies on a recent episode. I had a baby one year ago, but it was quite late in life at 38, after I made a close group of friends without kids. At first, everyone was excited, but it has made. It has been made clear that my baby is not of interest to the group. I reach out and ask about their work, relationships, families, and I feel like when I write about the kid, they usually reply with a shallow, cute or something. Not engaged. I don't expect people to care about my baby as much as me, obviously, but she's a huge part of my life and they simply don't care. I think it wouldn't bother me as much except for a few of these friends. Love to say how they are such good aunties when we're all hanging out, but my baby could not pick them out of a lineup. When do I bring my baby? Or when I do bring my baby to see one. Or a few of them, they love a photo op, but I cannot tell you how quickly their faces fall when they hand her back to me, and then it's as if she wasn't there at all. Wild behavior. I want to stay close to them, so I've kind of learned to just not talk about my baby. But it kind of feels like I'm in the closet. Like I'm hiding a huge aspect of myself from the people who claim to know me best. What do you think I should do? Thanks so much.

[Nicole]

Get new friends. Make friends with people with kids. Because I hate to be an. I don't like kids. Like, and if a friend has a kid, I'll be nice, but I'm not gonna, like, go out of my way to hang out with this kid and do stuff. But also, I'm not walking around being like, I'm the best auntie or whatever.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But I think it's just like, you gotta find people who have kids. Like, get, you know, go to, like, a Mommy and Me class and, like, talk to people. Go to the playground, talk to people. Because those people, they made a choice to not have children.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

So I think it's Kind of tough to be like, oh, I'm going to force a child on you. But also, we as a society just have to be nicer about children as someone who doesn't like them.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. And that's. That's a lot coming from me because.

[Nicole]

I mean, they are a part of society. It's whatever. Yeah. I don't want to hear them cry on my plane, but, like, it was part of life.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Yeah. I also, like, I don't want to, like, question this person's experience, but I also wonder if maybe they're a little paranoid about how much their friends don't like kids. Because, like, yeah.

[Nicole]

Projecting a little bit, maybe.

[Sasheer]

Projecting a little.

[Nicole]

A little bit.

[Sasheer]

Like, maybe, you know, again, like you said, these are people who chose not to have children, so it might not be like, they dislike your kid. They might just not know what to say about it or, like, what to, like. Like, how to operate around your child or, like, what to even ask you, because they don't have, like, it is a totally different experience, and that's okay. Which, yeah. You. Maybe it'd be best to find friends who do know that experience and doesn't mean, like, don't have these other friends who don't have kids. Like, the longer you are friends and your child grows up, sometimes people come back into your life and they're like, I'm cool hanging out with a toddler. I'm cool hanging out with a teen. Like, some people are like, like, having a baby is such a.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sasheer]

Precious moment and, like, such a wildly different time for the mom and your friends.

[Nicole]

So.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, these people might not actually know what to do.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

But, yeah, I hope you can find a way to, like, keep these people in your life while also find people who you can connect with, because this is such a, like, monumental change in your life that you should have support for, but you might not be able to get it from these friends, unfortunately.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Salt.

[Nicole]

Because it is touchy. It's very, like, kids are a touchy thing because it's like, oh, we're friends, so you should accept that I have a baby with me now, but it's like, oh, I didn't sign up for that.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And it's. It's okay to not want to. Not want to be around a kid, and it's okay to want a kid. It's just. You got to find that, like, happy medium.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Yeah. And also, like, your friends probably want to just, like, talk to you as a friend, not as a mom.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

But if you're if you have a baby, your life is your baby and that is okay.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sasheer]

But you're just talking to the wrong audience.

[Nicole]

Yeah. To me it's like, oh, no, this, this is gonna be the worst analogy ever. I don't like pickles. So if somebody kept coming to the function with pickles, I'd be like, oh my God, this pickle bitch.

[Sasheer]

This pickle bitch.

[Nicole]

So they're like, oh my God, this baby keeps coming around.

[Sasheer]

I mean, it's kind of like. It's a very specific thing. If you, if we had like an engineer friend who wanted to talk about all the projects they're working on, I would have no idea what they're talking about, but I'd be like, cool, that's great. Good for you. That's. That you sound like you like it, so that sounds great. But I wouldn't understand what they're saying because I don't, I didn't study it, I don't do it. But I'm glad they're. They're happy. Yeah, I think it's just like it is different because they don't have that lived experience.

[Nicole]

Solved. One more.

[Host]

Okay. This is called how do I make friends when everyone wants to fuck me?

[Sasheer]

Cool.

[Nicole]

Just before you even get into it. Cool. You seem like a cool person.

[Sasheer]

It's like, have you seen when people are making fun of people and they're like, oh, my food is too good, my house is too large. Oh no.

[Nicole]

Oh my God, everybody wants to me. Okay, let's hear this one.

[Host]

Okay. Hi, Nicole and Sashir. I'm indie. They them late 20s. I love both yalls work. I take I or I have heaps of praise for both of y', all, but I'm gonna breeze past all that to try to keep this email short. My question is, I'd love to get closer to some of the people I met through a new hobby, but how do I make close platonic friends when most of everyone wants to me to give some context to this insane ask. I'm bisexual, slutty, polyamorous, and I've been out a lot longer than most people my age. I'm not the hottest person in the world by any means, but I'm an androgynous in a way that makes me relatively conventionally attractive to a lot of different types of queer people. More than anything, I have no filter and my interests in parentheses ADHD and and am non threatening, goofy and confident. I tend to gravitate towards queer focused and or sex positive communities because I feel the most welcome and uninhibited in these places and I'm actively looking to make new friends that are local because I only have two long distance friends right now at the same time. I'm taking a at least a year long break from all types of dating after my most recent ex, even casual stuff because I need better relationship boundaries before I try again. I was setting myself on fire to keep my last two exes warm for a total of seven years. Okay, I'm skipping ahead a little. I took your Yalls advice and joined a sports club thingy for queer and trans adults two months ago and it's been really great. I felt pos I felt possible friend connections with like four people amongst the 15ish regulars. There's one guy who's cool but seems unavailable time and energy wise. The other three of them seem more available and interested but have been flirting with me extremely obviously doing things like lingering looks and touches, explaining their dating availability, talking about general interest in non binary folks, complimenting the way I look. I haven't felt much of a connection to the other attendees yet, but I have noticed from several flirting with me as well. I don't really mind receiving that energy. I would probably be interested in different circumstances, but I'm not trying to flirt with anyone. I just like to share about myself and wear the clothes I enjoy. When I'm in a safe queer space, it's felt hard to get my foot in the door. Beyond friendly acquaintanceship with anyone, the only social part is loitering after class to chat, which means I'd need to ask people to hang out directly to get to know them better and could be misinterpreted. Interpret it as more than friendly. I'm more I'm worried I'm going to be too much of a bummer if I try to get louder and clearer about why I'm only looking for friends. While I'm okay to friend zone people, if I'm asked out directly, I'd like to avoid giving off the vibes that might lead to that scenario in the first place. So yeah, cat's already out of the bag that I'm a with no filter and I'm willing to change my crop top and beauty short wearing ways. But any suggestions for how to clearly ask people to hang out as friends? Should I just wait around for someone else to invite me to a social thing and adjust expectations as needed? Should I get a T shirt that says I love celibacy? Will it mix the message if I then crop that shirt? Help.

[Sasheer]

They they do sound hot, and I'm so glad they're so confident. And also, like, you can be clear. Just like the people who are flirting with you are making obvious signs because they're like, you're a new person to me. I don't know you. What's deal? You can be like. You can also make obvious signs, too, and be like, I'm looking for friends.

[Nicole]

I just. I've never had that problem. This is pretty foreign to me. I don't understand why you. Why they can't just invite a group of people, like, out.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And just be like, I love. I like that I'm making friends.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. It does sound like. Like they're complicating it a little bit more.

[Nicole]

They are leading with, oh, my, I'm horny. I don't know what parts they got. I was gonna say something about a, but I was. I don't know if they have one, but, like, if you're leading with sex.

[Sasheer]

Then people are gonna respond.

[Nicole]

Respond.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

To that. Yeah. I really. I don't under. I fundamentally don't understand this predicament.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. I mean, I've never been in it before, but I can. I can. I can hear what they're asking for, which is like, how do I ask these people in my circle to be friends? Ask them to go hang out. Like, if you're like, there's three people you're interested in, ask a group to go out and then hang with each other. And even if they're flirting, you can reject it. You couldn't not give the same flirt energy back. And then hopefully they'll either pick up the cue or while you're talking and getting to know these people, be like, yeah, I'm in a place in my life where I'm really trying not to date at all and trying to, like, you know, make good platonic connections. And hopefully they hear that and be like, okay, not in the place to have sex or. Or whatever right now.

[Nicole]

And then.

[Sasheer]

Then they get to decide, do I want to continue seeing this person as a friend, or am I just trying to. And I'll go find somebody else.

[Nicole]

Yeah. I think the answer is just a group hang. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

A group hang. Yeah. Be clear.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Yes. Clear with your intentions. Group hang.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

You can also truly just out loud say, I want to make friends.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

I'm looking to make friends. Would you all like to go do this? Have friendship night at Chili's? We'll all get skillet queso and have a nice time.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

It's so funny that I think. I think sometimes it seems easier to, like, have a hookup than to ask somebody to be. Be your friend.

[Nicole]

It's more vulnerable.

[Sasheer]

It is, yeah.

[Nicole]

Because it's like, all right, so you.

[Sasheer]

See my body and I might not see you again.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

But you're like, can I see you often?

[Nicole]

I want to see you often. I want to tell you things. I want to hang out with you.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole]

Just put yourself out there. Friendship wise.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, exactly.

[Nicole]

And I don't think you need to change the way you dress.

[Sasheer]

Sluts have friends.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Lots of sluts have friends.

[Sasheer]

You still be slutty.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

And if you wanted to, if you, like, felt comfortable, like. It's also not a problem to sleep with your friends. Don't immediately sleep with them because that might be confusing, but.

[Nicole]

And have boundaries about it. But this person said. I think they said that they didn't want to have sex at all or be romantically involved. So it's like, yeah, just. Just clean cut. Oh, no kissing here. No, no.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, yeah. Because you're in control of that part. You can always say no.

[Nicole]

No, no.

[Sasheer]

No means no.

[Nicole]

Solved. Solved. Well, that's it for this episode of Best Friends. If you have a question, a query, a concern, a compliment, our phone number is 323-238-6554.

[Sasheer]

And we have an email nicoleandsashirmail.com okay, well, goodbye. Okay, goodbye.

[Nicole]

Best Friends is a production of Headgun Studios.

[Sasheer]

Our producer is Ali Khan.

[Nicole]

Our executive producer is Anya Konovskaya.

[Sasheer]

The show is edited, mixed and engineered by Richelle Chen.

[Nicole]

What's going on? It's Lamorne Morris and Hannah Simone, and we host the Mess Around a New Girl Rewatch podcast now on Headgum. Now here's the thing. Every single week, we check about an episode of New Girl, and we really get into it. Like, we get up in there. We get up in there, you know, we reminisce about our times on set. We share behind the scenes tea. We react to rewatching episodes that we haven't seen in years. We talk about how Jake Johnson is dog.

[Sasheer]

That's not true. We talk about so many memories we have of working with the biggest stars on the planet. I'm talking Prince Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo.

[Nicole]

We're just two BFFs having a good old time. Okay. Sometimes we even talk to other co stars like Zooey Deschanel, Jake Johnson, Max Greenfield, and Damon Wayans Jr. And your dad, we talked to your dad on this show as well.

[Sasheer]

Make sure you subscribe to the Mess around wherever you get your podcasts, new episodes drop every single Tuesday.