Nicole Phones a Friend

Summary

Podcast Summary: Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata

Episode: Nicole Phones a Friend
Date: February 11, 2026
Network: Headgum

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Overview

This vibrant episode centers on friendship dynamics, dental horror stories, adventures in skincare, an impromptu "phone a friend" about snowboarding, and candid conversations about boundaries, credit, and relationships. Throughout, Nicole and Sasheer delight each other with playful banter, memorable anecdotes, and genuine advice—particularly regarding maintaining connections and personal wellbeing. The episode also features listener questions about managing old friends, outgrowing social groups, and building new friendships as an adult.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nicole's Dental Trauma & The Weirdness of Teeth

• Nicole shares her recent experience getting a tooth pulled, comparing it to her more traumatic wisdom tooth extraction where she was awake and left with "people in me" and an instrument in her mouth.
  • "It was wild this year." [02:03]
• The conversation turns hilariously to the anatomy of teeth:
  • "Teeth have feet. They got four little feet. They're crazy!" – Nicole [03:26]
• The two marvel at the grossness of bone grafts, including cow and cadaver bone, joking about Nicole possibly mooing or being possessed.
  • "I'm concerned that one day I'll wake up mooing or be possessed by whoever dead person bone is in me." – Nicole [04:33]

2. What Happens to Bodies After We Die?

• Nicole and Sasheer riff on body donation—museum exhibits, cremation, sea burials—and a story about a donated body being used as a car crash test dummy.
  • "Honestly, I wouldn't mind that. Maybe I'll donate my body to science and write specifically: Give me the Volvo." – Nicole [07:20]

3. Cremation, Ashes, and Airports

• Nicole unveils a wild (and illegal) former wish for her ashes after cremation: to be dumped at airport departure gates, so she could "travel the world."
  • "Don't take me to Burbank. Take me to LAX. You go places!" – Nicole [08:08]
• Sasheer notes the illegality ("You go right to jail").

4. Glittergate: Soapy Surprises

• Nicole explains how her body feels "glamourous" after showering—courtesy of a surprise glitter-infused soap gifted by her boyfriend’s sister.
• "I've had to wash my hands eight times because I keep touching my body. And then I'd be like, there's more glitter on me." – Nicole [09:30]
• Sasheer ponders why any company would make glitter body soap for adults.

5. Uphill Skiing & Phone a Friend

• The pair discuss skiing/snowboarding confusion—are there times snowboarding when you're facing uphill?
• Nicole "phones a friend" (her boyfriend's brother-in-law, Kramer) who confirms that yes, at moments when turning, your body/head can face uphill, especially for safety.
  • "When you're snowboarding, are there moments when you are... looking up, uphill, like up at the mountain behind you?"
  • "Absolutely, absolutely." – Kramer [13:37-14:15]
• "So whoever you were talking to knew what they were talking about." – Nicole [14:36]

6. Chicken Nuggets on the Mountain & The High School Spicy Chicken Quest

• Nicole hopes for chicken nuggets atop snowy mountains; Sasheer is skeptical but supportive.
• They discuss a listener emailing their high school lunch menu, confirming spicy chicken day is Wednesday.
  • "That's crazy that they have a posted menu somewhere." – Nicole [17:36]
• They’re amazed by the cafeteria’s menu, joking that it sounds like a food court or Sizzler now.
• Nicole reminisces about high school and wonders why there are stations like "Miss Ruby's" ("Who's Miss Ruby?").

7. Credit Cards: Stores vs. Banks & Financial Lessons

• Nicole tells stories from working at Lane Bryant and their fictional employee, "Sophie."
• She recounts teaching customers how to game the credit card system and being reprimanded by management.
  • "They wanted them to get into debt." – Nicole [27:02]
• "It's really wild that stores can have credit cards." – Sasheer [27:12]
• Both discuss learning hard financial lessons (Nicole after maxing out multiple cards and with her father's mantra: "Once it's gone, it's gone.").

8. Wearing the Nice Things You Have

• The two agree on enjoying possessions for what they're meant—not saving them endlessly.
  • "Wear the things you like. Things are meant to be used." – Nicole [30:43, 31:15]
• Sasheer shares a story about sneakers gifted by Tracy Morgan.

9. Celebrity Antics & Social Commentary

• Nicole and Sasheer discuss wild celebrity moments, including Will Smith’s infamous Oscar slap and Kanye West’s controversial behavior.
• "Get wild. Do something nuts. Yeah. Do something out of character!" – Nicole [33:00]
• Nicole critiques Jeff Bezos’ wife's fashion choices ("Her face is...gremlin-like." [36:20-37:22]), with Sasheer playfully abstaining.

10. Airplane Etiquette & Comfort—Then vs. Now

• They bemoan shrinking airline seat sizes and absurd suggestions to dress up for flights.
  • "Food is inedible—who am I dressing up for? Truly, I'm literally dressing for a sky-bed." – Nicole [38:30]
• They fantasize about the airplane dance floors and bars of the golden era.

11. Friendship Quiz Segment (41:00–46:53)

• Nicole and Sasheer take an online "What kind of best friend are you?" quiz, riffing on the questions and their answers with candor and their typical humor.
• Both get "the dad/mom friend" result.
  • "Things are meant to be used." – Sasheer [30:51]
  • "I'll be the dad." – Nicole [46:53]
  • "I'll be the mom." – Sasheer [46:54]

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Listener Questions & Advice Highlights

Q1: How to Suggest More Chill Friend Hangouts [54:10]

• Letter Summary: Listener reconnects with an old friend who's now a heavy partier; she wants more low-key hangs due to anxiety, safety, and personal preference.
• Advice:
  • Sasheer: Suggest specific fun daytime activities or brunches—"Gays love brunch!" [54:33]
  • Nicole: Propose finite activities with a clear end (bingo nights, bowling), allowing the friend to continue partying if desired.
  • Both: Framing—make the activity itself the draw, not just "hang in my area."
  • Nicole: "You could be like: and that's the end of the night for me."

Q2: Outgrowing Parts of the Friend Group [59:22]

• Letter Summary: Listener, part of a long-term group, now finds some members draining, but her close friends pressure her to keep joining group FaceTimes.
• Advice:
  • Nicole: "If it's not serving you, get rid of it." [59:22]
  • Sasheer: Limit group time, offer honest explanation to close friends; propose your own (smaller) hangouts; "You have the right to protect your peace."
  • Nicole: It's OK to leave group texts, even if it seems dramatic.
  • Sasheer: "It does feel dramatic. It's actually kind of rude that they...put it: this person has left."

Q3: Struggling with Making Friends When Partner Has Many [62:38]

• Letter Summary: Listener feels isolated as boyfriend makes more friends; she’s shy and finds it hard to meet people in a small town.
• Advice:
  • Nicole: "Get a hobby." It's the best built-in way to make organic connections. [64:17]
  • Sasheer: Even if you don’t make a friend, at least you enjoy the activity.
  • Suggest coordinating double dates via the boyfriend’s social network.
  • Nicole: Recognize the urge to be possessive; focus on building your own community.
  • Both: Try Bumble’s BFF feature; ask your one existing friend for intros.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Nicole, on her extracted tooth:
  "People keep saying, make it into a necklace. I'm not that kind of girl. She's glamour." [02:50]

• On body donation:
  "Maybe I'll donate my body to science and write specifically: Give me the Volvo." – Nicole [07:20]

• On modern cafeterias:
  "Is this a food court? Is this a Sizzler?" – Nicole [18:39]

• On using possessions:
  "Wear the things you like. Things are meant to be used." – Nicole [30:43]

• Celebrity slap:
  "Nothing has happened at an award show that was funnier than him slapping Chris Rock." – Nicole [32:43]

• On friend group tension:
  "Why am I pretending for this person who's being awful? Get out of there." – Nicole [62:21]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Dental story / Tooth antics: 00:26–05:04
• Body donation & crash dummy story: 05:28–07:20
• Cremation & airport ashes: 07:40–08:19
• Glitter soap story: 08:39–10:25
• Skiing debate, Phone-a-friend: 11:04–15:51
• Chicken nuggets & high school menu: 16:14–19:03
• Credit card woes: 25:56–29:30
• On using possessions: 30:27–31:15
• Quiz segment: 41:00–46:53
• Listener Letters:
  • Chill hangouts: 54:10–56:34
  • Outgrowing friend groups: 59:22–61:49
  • Making friends as an adult: 62:38–67:18

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Tone & Style

The episode is light, candid, and brimming with the duo's signature irreverent humor. Nicole brings lively storytelling and zany hypotheticals, while Sasheer grounds the exchanges with thoughtful perspectives and gentle ribbing. Listener questions are treated with warmth, empathy, and actionable advice.

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For New Listeners

"Nicole Phones a Friend" exemplifies what makes Best Friends so beloved—a space where the messy, funny, and sometimes tender parts of adult friendship are explored without filter or judgment. Whether you want insights, laughs, or permission to let go of old baggage, Nicole and Sasheer make you feel right at home.

Transcript

[Host]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[Nicole]

Hello, Sasha.

[Sasheer]

Hello, Nicole.

[Nicole]

How are you? I'm good.

[Sasheer]

How are you? How are you, Allie?

[Host]

Wow.

[Sasheer]

Ally, my God, she's drunk.

[Nicole]

She's like, nobody's asked me. I am okay. Yeah. I had a tooth pulled.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

So I. I feel a little just like sore. Of course, not as bad as when I had my wisdom teeth pulled.

[Sasheer]

Okay.

[Nicole]

That's good because I was awake for that. And I had a root canal, I think, at the same time. And I felt crazy after.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And I drove home after and I was like, oh, my God, that's not safe.

[Host]

No.

[Nicole]

And then I had a therapy.

[Sasheer]

They didn't put you.

[Nicole]

They didn't put me under. No. But I had a horrific traumatic experience for hours.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Where my mouth was open and there was people in me. And then I had a therapy appointment that I didn't cancel. So I was like sobbing on the side of the road, being like, mary, they took my teeth. And in hindsight, pretty dramatic. Pretty dramatic.

[Sasheer]

Taking your teeth is dramatic. They did take your teeth.

[Nicole]

They did. They took em. But this time I got put under. Cause I kept saying, I'm scared. And she was very, very nice. And I remember them putting a thing in my arm. And then the lady was like, do you want something stronger for after? And I said, if you don't mind. Cause the pain that I have or that I had last time was too much. And she goes, okay. And then she goes, what's your pharmacy? And I told her, she was like, can I get send it to the pharmacy downstairs? And I said, sure. And then I remember being like, keep your eyes open so you know when you fall asleep. And then I was like, when are you going to take my tooth? And they're like, we took it. And I was like, what? It was wild this year.

[Sasheer]

Why did you want your eyes open?

[Nicole]

Because I wanted to know when I was going to fall asleep.

[Sasheer]

But what? Like would like to see how fast the medicine would kick in or I.

[Nicole]

Wanted to know when it was going to kick in. Okay. But I didn't know at all. Yeah. And they just took my tooth. But they gave it to me. So they didn't take it.

[Sasheer]

Oh, that's nice.

[Nicole]

They took it out of me and gave it to me.

[Sasheer]

The last experience would have been better if they gave you your teeth.

[Nicole]

The last experience would have been better if they had put me out and not left an instrument in my mouth.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Yeah. That would have been mild.

[Nicole]

I think that would have been optimal. Best case scenario, five stars. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

What are you going to do with your teeth now that you have it?

[Nicole]

People keep saying, make it into a necklace. I'm not that kind of girl. She's glamour. Like, I'm not wearing my teeth. You could bling it out, Sashir. I'm not that kind of girl. I'm not wearing my teeth.

[Sasheer]

Got it.

[Nicole]

I don't know what I'm gonna do. Well, the piece of the tooth that broke off that is currently in my wallet.

[Sasheer]

Mm.

[Nicole]

This tooth is too dang big, I think, for my wallet. Sashiro, it's huge.

[Sasheer]

It looks big. The picture that you sent look big.

[Nicole]

I can't believe it was in my mouth.

[Sasheer]

Teeth are huge. Yeah. Cause, like, there's, like, a large part past the gum.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Teeth have feet.

[Sasheer]

They have those hidden feet that they don't talk about. They have.

[Nicole]

They got four little feet. They're crazy. Teeth are crazy. The human body is sick as hell.

[Sasheer]

It's sick.

[Nicole]

It's disgusting.

[Sasheer]

So is it now just a hole in your mouth?

[Nicole]

I have bone graft in this mouth.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

So, yeah, about hoes in the house. Yeah. Yeah. But you change it to a hole in my mouth.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Yeah. It's very quick.

[Sasheer]

Thank you.

[Nicole]

There is technically, I guess, a hole. A hole in my mouth, but there's bone graft in there. We even talked about this.

[Sasheer]

I think you mentioned it. I didn't know if it was happening, like, right after the surgery or if there's another step eventually.

[Nicole]

Well, there was an infection.

[Sasheer]

Oh, no.

[Nicole]

Which is why the tooth had to get pulled. So there was an instrument in me and an infection, and she was gross. She was like, I really had to scrape that infection out. And I was like, okay, you don't have to make me feel even more disgusting than I currently feel. She's infected. She's infected in patient zero. But then I guess after you scrape out infection, bone graft goes in. Okay. Which is cow bone and dead people bone. So I'm concerned that one day I'll wake up mooing or be possessed by whoever dead person bone is in me. By whoever dead person bone is in me. That was a terrible sentence. I know. I went to school, but sometimes it doesn't feel like it.

[Sasheer]

But we can blame it on the drugs.

[Nicole]

Thank you. Yes. I've been on some mild drugs that have put me right to sleep.

[Sasheer]

Do they. Is the dead person bone that's in you, is it also tooth, or do we not know what kind of bone it is?

[Nicole]

I didn't ask. Yeah, I figured it'd be tooth for Tooth.

[Sasheer]

That would make sense.

[Nicole]

But maybe it's just other bone.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

How do they get the bone? What? Whoa. What? Howard, What?

[Sasheer]

I guess.

[Nicole]

What?

[Sasheer]

Because aren't some. Because I guess if you're an organ donor, maybe. But that's not an organ.

[Nicole]

No, it's a bone. And that's like saving lives. This is vanity. This is pure vanity. I just don't want a hole in my mouth. I don't know. I don't know.

[Sasheer]

Sometimes I don't. I think. I feel like there are a lot of theories as to what happens with.

[Nicole]

Bodies.

[Sasheer]

After they pass.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Some end up in museums. Yeah. The bodies exhibit. Yeah. Some end up in the ground burials. Some end up burnt up, cremation. Some are buried at sea.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Some are just in the water. There was a story about this man who I think donated his mom's body to science. And then I don't even know how he found this out, but her body ended up being used as, like, a crash dummy for, like, for Volvo. I have no idea. Are they known for that? Why did you pick Volvo specifically? I don't know what brand of car it was.

[Nicole]

Volvos are really safe.

[Sasheer]

Oh, okay. So you're like, she helped the cause.

[Nicole]

So I was like, they probably use, like, real people. Cause they're so safe.

[Sasheer]

Maybe. I don't know. I don't know how many car companies actually use real bodies. But, yeah, she was used for as.

[Nicole]

Like, a. I mean, that's science. That's.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, I guess that's. I guess that is. But I think he was, like, hoping it'd be like, she helps solve a disease or something, as opposed to just throw in a car, like, hit a wall.

[Nicole]

Honestly, I wouldn't mind that. Yeah. Maybe I'll donate my body to science and write specifically. Give me the Volvo. I want to help them. I want to help them with the cars.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Do you want to donate your body?

[Sasheer]

I think I want to be cremated. I think I don't want anyone to do anything to my body.

[Nicole]

In the original version of my will, before I was told that I can't force people to do things, I had written that I wanted my sister to take my cremated remains to the airport and then dump me out at the departure gate, because you're not going to go home. You got to make that flight. So I go to a lot of different places, but I feel like, isn't.

[Sasheer]

There a law against that? I think so.

[Nicole]

I think she go right to jail.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. You can't. You can't put, like, remains on humans. On people who didn't ask for this.

[Nicole]

Yeah, but I want to go on trips international. Don't take me to Burbank. Yeah, take me to lax. You go places. You know how I feel about Burbank. That's not a real airport.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, but it's so small and quick.

[Nicole]

I don't like it. I feel like it's cosplaying as an airport. It's disgusting. These people are flying domestic. Like, I just. I don't know. I want to be with world travelers also. Sasheer, can you tell that I'm like, glowing? There's glitter all over me.

[Sasheer]

I do see a shimmer on you.

[Nicole]

So I talked about using lotion on this podcast, and the nice man in my life, his sister was like, oh, I went to this store and I got you soaps that also have lotions in them. So I got out of the shower and I was like, whoa, my skin is soft. And then I put on my glasses and I was like, I'm also covered in glitter. My whole body is covered in glitter.

[Sasheer]

Soap has glitter.

[Nicole]

I didn't realize that the soap had glitter.

[Sasheer]

Oh, but that's a weird choice for the soap company.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sasheer]

Why would they want to add glitter to it?

[Nicole]

I don't know why they sell it to a grown up lady who said, I'm buying it for another grown up lady. And they're like, maybe she didn't say those words.

[Sasheer]

I'm buying this soap lotion for my grown up lady friend.

[Nicole]

And I feel like my skin feel was smooth. Really smooth. Yeah, I like the results, minus the glitter. I've had to wash my hands eight times because I keep touching my body. And then I'd be like, there's more glitter on me.

[Sasheer]

Wait, so does the glitter transfer to other things? Like, are you leaving glitter on your clothes and on the.

[Nicole]

I'm pretty sure, fabric?

[Sasheer]

I can definitely see the glitter on your legs.

[Nicole]

Yes. I think there's glitter on the inside of my pant legs.

[Sasheer]

That's so strange. Why would anyone think people wanted that?

[Nicole]

I don't know. Maybe they're trying to teach me a lesson for not using lotion for so long.

[Sasheer]

Or maybe they're like, you see the spots that don't have glitter. You need to put moisture on that.

[Nicole]

You didn't wash that part. Yeah, but I wash myself good. There is glitter all over me. And it's funny because you can see where you didn't wash, because I washed my face with face wash, so my face did not have glitter. But down had glitter.

[Sasheer]

I Mean, thank God. Like, you don't want glitter on your face. That'll also be there forever.

[Nicole]

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Well, I didn't want to put that on because I don't put body soap on my face.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, I don't either.

[Nicole]

I put face wash on my face.

[Sasheer]

It's different for some reason.

[Nicole]

For some reason our faces are different. I think it's because it's more sensitive skin skiing.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, I can see that.

[Nicole]

Where's this sweater from? Other people skiing.

[Sasheer]

There's people skiing on the sweater. They're going places.

[Nicole]

They are up. Yeah. Which is kind of crazy. They should be going down, right?

[Sasheer]

Oh, I guess so. But then someone told me that, like, when you ski, you are going uphill.

[Nicole]

No.

[Sasheer]

And I still don't understand.

[Nicole]

No. Do you guys understand that's a lie?

[Sasheer]

I don't understand.

[Nicole]

Whoever told you that was messing with you.

[Sasheer]

But I think it's like, when you're carving or, like, go like zigzagging or something, sometimes you are going up.

[Nicole]

So she. You're absolutely not.

[Sasheer]

It doesn't make sense to me.

[Nicole]

No. Because you take that.

[Sasheer]

The thingy up for sure, you're going.

[Nicole]

Up that hill, and then you end up the gondola.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And then you got to take the God back up if you want to ski some more.

[Sasheer]

I know.

[Nicole]

Whoever told you that was really trying to mess with your brain.

[Sasheer]

It still messes with me.

[Nicole]

They want you to look stupid. They want you to say that on your podcast. Hundreds of people to hear.

[Sasheer]

Or maybe they were saying, you have to look up, like you're looking up at the mountain. And I was like, when would you look up at the mountain? They're like, when you're turning. And I was like, but aren't you going down? Wouldn't you be looking forward the whole time? Maybe that's just snowboarding, because I feel like skiing. You have to go forward the whole time.

[Nicole]

I don't know. Whoever you're talking to, you up. Wait. This is so wild. I'm 100% sure. Maybe you don't look down. Maybe you look up. Like with roller skating, you're not supposed to look down. You're supposed to look ahead. Maybe that's what they meant.

[Sasheer]

I really feel like she was saying, like, the mountain behind you, you're looking at it. I don't. I don't know when. Oh, I guess, because. Okay, so if you're. Okay, you're snowboarding, you kind of. You're kind of like, your feet are side to side. So you do have to, like, be perpendicular to the mountain at some point. And then I guess when you turn, maybe your back's now towards downhill.

[Nicole]

This is. So Should I call someone who knows how to snowboard?

[Sasheer]

Sure.

[Nicole]

Okay. Who do you know that nice man in my life? His brother. Brother in law.

[Sasheer]

Okay, great. We're gonna phone a friend.

[Nicole]

Do we know what the question is?

[Sasheer]

Are there times when you're snowboarding when you are looking up at the mountain, looking uphill?

[Nicole]

Okay, let's see if he answers. He has a job.

[Sasheer]

Stop what you're doing. Stop what you're doing.

[Nicole]

I have a question. See if he hates this.

[Sasheer]

Hey, Nicole.

[Nicole]

Hi, Kramer. Okay, you're on speakerphone. I am recording a podcast. I have a question about snowboarding. You can say, no, thank you.

[Sasheer]

Let's do it.

[Nicole]

Okay, Sasheer, what is the question?

[Sasheer]

When. Hi, Shashir.

[Nicole]

Hi there.

[Sasheer]

When you're snowboarding, are there moments when you are. When your body is turned in a way that you are looking up, uphill, like up at the mountain behind you? Absolutely, absolutely.

[Nicole]

Why? Why?

[Sasheer]

When you turn, you're either on your heel edge or on your toe edge. And when you're on your toe edge, your. Your body is kind of facing perpendicular, but your. But your head is somewhat uphill. You should be looking forward, but you. You have an opportunity where your body is facing the mountain, essentially.

[Nicole]

Oh, and it's a good idea to.

[Sasheer]

Look behind you in case somebody is coming down faster or you're cutting somebody off.

[Nicole]

Oh, and you're going downhill. Yep.

[Sasheer]

Wow. Wow.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Sasheer]

Okay.

[Nicole]

Thank you, Kramer.

[Host]

Of course.

[Sasheer]

Nice to hear from you.

[Nicole]

Nice to hear from you. Bye. Bye.

[Sasheer]

Bye. Bye. Wow.

[Nicole]

Okay. So whoever you were talking to knew what they were talking about.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But here's the thing. It was explained. I still don't really understand.

[Sasheer]

No, neither. It was fully explained to me the first time, and I was like, I still don't get it. Yeah, your toe edge.

[Nicole]

Oh, okay. I guess not the whole time. But since you're going down the mountain that way, you want to look behind you if you are cutting somebody off or if someone's coming down really fast.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

So I think you're looking, looking, looking, looking. I think we solved that.

[Sasheer]

I thought it was like, you truly are like your body's turned cause you're carving. Yeah.

[Nicole]

You're like. So you have heel, toe, and you're like. I see. Sometimes it's your back and sometimes it's your front facing the top of the mountain. This is crazy, because I feel like Kramer just said that, and I was like, got it. And then I was like, here's something totally different.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, you just made up a whole new theory because you're looking, you're turning your head.

[Nicole]

You didn't say that, but now I get it. When you go that way, you are looking behind, and then you go, ah, yeah. Should we go snowboarding now? I don't know. Now my phone's making lots of noises.

[Sasheer]

Oh, the potato.

[Nicole]

The potato wants.

[Sasheer]

Camera's like, I got more there. All right.

[Nicole]

The potatoes on do not disturb.

[Sasheer]

I can't tell if I would want. Well, I don't not. I don't really want to be cold. I don't really do a winter sport, but a lot of people I know do them. So it does seem like it could be fun.

[Nicole]

Well, I heard that you get chicken nuggets at the top of the mountain.

[Sasheer]

I've never heard that before in my life. At every mountain, any mountain that we go to, we can get chicken nuggets.

[Nicole]

I was told. I Kraber said, hey, Nicole, you want. You want to go skiing? There's chicken nuggets at the top of the mountain. And I said, I get a view and chicken nuggets. And I was like, I think I'll go skiing. But maybe not a maybe just the mountain he goes to.

[Sasheer]

I don't know. I don't know. I didn't hear that. I don't know either reason.

[Nicole]

Maybe they're telling me a story. Maybe there is no chicken at the top. There probably are.

[Sasheer]

There probably is chicken.

[Nicole]

And you know me, I'm on the hunt for chicken. Specifically spicy chicken from Middletown High School South.

[Sasheer]

Yes, but we got an email, didn't we? We did, yes.

[Nicole]

And I knew about this.

[Sasheer]

It was sent this morning. But you don't check your email.

[Nicole]

You know I don't. You know I don't. I'm learning all the time in real time, too. What does the email say?

[Host]

A listener found your middle school menu.

[Nicole]

My high school menu.

[Host]

Our high school menu.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Host]

Online and sent it. And spicy chicken, I think is on Wednesdays.

[Nicole]

Wednesdays. Wow, that's nice. I moved it to right in the middle of week. Something to look forward to every Monday.

[Sasheer]

And keep it going for the rest of the week.

[Nicole]

What is the rest of the menu? Let me pull it up. That's crazy that they have a posted menu somewhere.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Why is it online for everybody to see?

[Nicole]

Maybe more people can just show us.

[Sasheer]

Oh, you know what? I'm in the neighborhood.

[Nicole]

I would like some spicy chicken.

[Host]

Middletown High School's current menu is Is.

[Nicole]

It north or south? Or does it just say Middletown?

[Host]

It says it's plural. Middletown High schools. Okay, so it might be both. There's a lot of different stations. Okay. It's saying available daily. Pizza, pepperoni pizza, vegetable pizza. And then at the Coyote Grill.

[Nicole]

The Coyote. We didn't have a Coyote Grill.

[Host]

There's nachos, Mexican rice and veggies, tacos.

[Sasheer]

Sounds good.

[Host]

At Miss Ruby's.

[Nicole]

Miss Ruby's, which I think this is.

[Host]

There must be just different food stations. You can get hamburgers or cheeseburgers, turkey burgers, veggie burgers. I guess these are all saying it's available daily.

[Nicole]

Wow, this is a lot available daily.

[Sasheer]

Is this like a food court?

[Nicole]

Is this a Sizzler?

[Host]

And then there's the Great American, which is the sandwich station. And then there's assorted Boar's Head cold cuts.

[Nicole]

That there.

[Sasheer]

Wow.

[Nicole]

Wow. Boar's Head.

[Sasheer]

Okay.

[Host]

And. Well, and at Miss Ruby's, along with the hamburgers, cheeseburgers, and turkey burgers, that's where you can get the crispy and spicy chicken.

[Nicole]

Wow, that's crazy.

[Sasheer]

That's really elaborate for a high school.

[Nicole]

Don't remember our cafeteria being that big.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. I feel like that's what my college cafeteria was like, where we had, like, restaurants inside the cafeteria.

[Nicole]

You had restaurants inside the cafeteria?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

The only one I can remember is.

[Nicole]

Chick Fil A. Wow.

[Sasheer]

But South.

[Nicole]

That's the one you remember. Wow.

[Sasheer]

She's a bigot.

[Nicole]

Wow. She loves Chick Fil a On Sundays. She doesn't eat.

[Sasheer]

I just don't eat, period. Let's get a break.

[Nicole]

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[Sasheer]

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[Nicole]

Key party anyone.

[Sasheer]

And touching revelations, Big Age explores what it means to grow older without growing old at heart. Listen to Kenya Barris new laugh out loud. Audible original comedy Big Age, starring Jennifer Lewis, Cedric the Entertainer, and Niecy Nash Betts. Big Age age does funny things. Go to audible.com bigageseries to start listening today.

[Nicole]

And we're back.

[Sasheer]

We're back. That's wild. Will you go down to on Wednesdays to get Miss Ruby's spicy chicken?

[Nicole]

Well, I asked if you would come with me, and you said no.

[Sasheer]

I said yes eventually.

[Nicole]

Oh, yeah.

[Sasheer]

Then you sweetened it with a romantic hotel getaway in the Poconos. It was a romantic hotel getaway.

[Nicole]

Yes, I remember now. Yeah. If you come with me and if we go to the Poconos to sit in that champagne flute. Or no, I think it's a coupe. A champagne coupe Bathtub. We're gonna go to Middletown High School south, and we're gonna get chicken fingers from Miss Ruby's.

[Sasheer]

Nice.

[Nicole]

Who's Miss Ruby?

[Sasheer]

I don't know.

[Nicole]

I don't know either.

[Sasheer]

They probably just made her up. Cause it's telling me the spicy chicken existed before Ms. Ruby did.

[Nicole]

Unless Ms. Ruby was there and she was just not acknowledged while I was in school.

[Sasheer]

Oh, yeah. Maybe they're like, we're finally acknowledging your.

[Nicole]

Contributions to the school. Maybe it's like, when I worked at Lame Giant, we had a model employee, and her name was Sophie, and Sophie did not exist. And we used to have, like, employee of the month. And I remember once I posted just a blank paper and wrote Sophie on it. And nobody thought it was funny. Nobody thought anything I did at Lane Bryant was funny.

[Sasheer]

That is funny.

[Nicole]

Thank you. Thank you. I thought it was so funny.

[Sasheer]

So wait, Sophie was supposed to inspire the other employees to be as good as Sophie?

[Nicole]

Yes. And in the, like, employee handbook, it was like, sophie does this. Sophie doesn't do this. Sophie sells that credit card. And then we all had to be like, Sophie. And then it was called Sophie's closet, but I would call it Sophie's Palooza. That's when we get 55 off stuff to buy.

[Sasheer]

Okay.

[Nicole]

They want you to wear the merch.

[Sasheer]

I see. I see. Wow.

[Nicole]

Yeah. I was not a model employee. Do you wanna know what I did?

[Sasheer]

Sure.

[Nicole]

I thought it was good.

[Sasheer]

Okay.

[Nicole]

They didn't think it was good. So you had to push the credit cards on people. You go, do you want to open a credit card to get 10 off your purchase. 10% off. $100 is $10. It's not really worth it to fuck up your credit and get a ding on your credit score. Yeah. So when people had huge purchases, like a thousand dollars, it's $100 off, or. No, it was 15% off, so it's like 150 off. I'd be like, hey, do you want to open a Lane Bryant credit card? And they go, I don't know. And I go, you'd save this much, this. This amount of money? And I'd be like, I don't know. Maybe we're gonna pay with a debit card today. And they'd be like, yes. And I go, open the Lane Bryant credit card. It will put a ding on your credit. But if you pay it off today, that is. That might, you know, increase it. Increase your credit score a little bit or not knock it as much.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. And they'd be like, oh, okay.

[Nicole]

And then my manager heard me doing that, was like, you can't do that. You can't have them open the credit card and, like, essentially close it the same day.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And I was like, well, it open. I'm still opening the credit card.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, you still sold it.

[Nicole]

In fact, I'm opening more than most people because I'm giving them that option.

[Sasheer]

And you're helping them.

[Nicole]

Yes, but they didn't want me to help them. They wanted them to get into debt.

[Sasheer]

Rude.

[Nicole]

And pay that. That interest. Historic cards have insane interest. They do.

[Sasheer]

It's really wild that stores can have credit cards.

[Nicole]

Yes. Like that.

[Sasheer]

Anyone other than a bank can have a credit card.

[Nicole]

Yes. It's wild.

[Sasheer]

It's wild. It's also. While we even have a credit card system.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

It just keeps everyone in debt.

[Nicole]

Yes. I mean, the way we should explain credit cards to people is like, if you cannot pay that in full the next month, you can't afford it. And we don't do that. We just go buy now, pay later.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

It's crazy.

[Sasheer]

It's crazy.

[Nicole]

It's crazy. Do you have a credit card?

[Sasheer]

I do have a credit card.

[Nicole]

Oh, wait, I know this.

[Sasheer]

But I didn't have one until. Maybe after college. Yeah. Because I feel like my parents were like, you can have a debit card. And I just had a debit card because I was like, please don't spend.

[Nicole]

More than you have. And then. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

I can't remember when I actually signed up for my first credit card, but even then, I was still like, I'm scared to use it. I don't want to use it.

[Nicole]

And that's how you should be. I had so many credit cards.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

I had a Macy's card, a Macy's Visa. So I could use it at Macy's and other places. Oh, a hello Kitty Visa card. Okay. A capital one card. I think that was also Visa. And then maxed all of those out. And then after you max out credit cards, the real predatory ones start mailing you cards, being like, you can have this. You're just pre approved. This one has $500. You go, okay. You get another ones. Like this one has $500. You're like, oh, okay. And I just kept getting these like 500. I had like eight 500 limit cards that I just kept maxing out. It was wild.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, that's wild.

[Nicole]

Good times. Couldn't afford anything I was buying.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

So much stuff. Ugh.

[Sasheer]

When did you start closing them out?

[Nicole]

2008. Nice. Papa passed. And then I said, well, this will be the last time he helps me. And now I have the thing in the back of my mind, Once it's gone, it's gone. And that's what he used to say all the time. And now I get it. Now I get it. Once money's gone, it's gone.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, it's true.

[Nicole]

It is true. Where are these shoes from?

[Sasheer]

These are like old school. Like Velcro. Also describing to people who can't see it.

[Nicole]

Oh. I was like, oh, does she think I'm dumb?

[Sasheer]

It's a QVC commercial. So these are. Yeah. Velcro lace up Reebok sneakers.

[Nicole]

High tops.

[Sasheer]

High tops. And Tracy Morgan gave them to me.

[Nicole]

Oh.

[Sasheer]

Because I did last OG and he got a lot of the cast and crew, these old school Reeboks because I guess his character is like old school from New York. And I think it was like homage to that.

[Nicole]

And. Yeah, that's lovely. Yeah. Wow, look at you wearing your gift.

[Sasheer]

I actually have been doing that recently. I like stored a lot of like swag and things I've gotten from shows and was like, oh, I won't touch it. And I'm like, whatever, it's mine.

[Nicole]

Yeah, it's yours. Wear that shirt. Yeah, I'm trying to wear things that I bought that I was like, oh, but I love them and if I wear them, it'll wear them down. And I've been saying, fuck it, it's okay. Wear the things you like.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Like I've been trying to wear my rings more. Yeah. I'm like, what if I lose them? And it's like, well, that Means I had a nice time and I lost them.

[Sasheer]

Things are meant to be used.

[Nicole]

Things are meant to be used. Yeah. Yeah. Like, oh, and I got this this weekend.

[Sasheer]

I haven't seen it. Yeah, I like it.

[Nicole]

Yeah. I went to the Los Feliz flea market.

[Sasheer]

Oh, that's right.

[Nicole]

$5.

[Sasheer]

Wow.

[Nicole]

$20. Wow. $25. Wow.

[Sasheer]

This is all from the flea, huh? Oh, nice.

[Nicole]

I went wild.

[Sasheer]

That bracelet bend.

[Nicole]

No.

[Sasheer]

Okay.

[Nicole]

Oh.

[Sasheer]

Just sliding it off. There he goes. And you know what? If you didn't have moisture on your hand, it'd be much harder.

[Nicole]

So much harder.

[Sasheer]

Oh, I like it. Oh, I thought this was like. I thought this would be like.

[Nicole]

Like, flexible. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

Gummy. It's like, I feel like asmr.

[Nicole]

This.

[Sasheer]

This is a purple hard bracelet. A purple hard bracelet. One of those purple hard bracelets. It's made of metal and has a gold. Gold tip on it.

[Nicole]

And I don't know, Sashir. That sounded nasty. I don't know why.

[Sasheer]

Gold tip, gold tip.

[Nicole]

Purple hard bracelet, hard bracelet. Purple like an eggplant. Last night, I was watching Pole to Poll with Will Smith.

[Sasheer]

Speaking of eggplants, that title is wild. What? No one was like, Pole to Pole does sound like.

[Nicole]

It sounds insane.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And it really fucking feels like Will Smith is going to these extremes to, like, avoid his wife.

[Sasheer]

I'm gonna get the furthest I can.

[Nicole]

The furthest I can from my wife. Which is, like, sad, because they bring me constant entertainment. I maintain nothing has happened at an award show that was funnier than him slapping Chris Rock.

[Sasheer]

Absolutely not.

[Nicole]

The Oscars are next month.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

What's gonna happen?

[Sasheer]

Nothing that can top that.

[Nicole]

No. But I. Here is. Here's my. My plea for the celebrities this February. Get wild.

[Sasheer]

Get wild. Get wild.

[Nicole]

Do something nuts. Yeah. Do something out of character.

[Sasheer]

Celebrities are getting a little bit more wild, and I like it.

[Nicole]

I like it, too.

[Sasheer]

All the, like, Ashley Tisdale mom drama. Like, great.

[Nicole]

I love it. Call each other out. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

Feuds are back.

[Nicole]

Dudes are back.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Kanye west apologized for all that he did.

[Sasheer]

That was pretty wild.

[Nicole]

And I said, I don't know if I'm sorry. We'll do so.

[Sasheer]

It's been a while.

[Nicole]

It's been a while. It's been a while.

[Sasheer]

And you've done a lot.

[Nicole]

You did a lot of things. You did a lot of things.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. But he's also sick.

[Nicole]

He is sick. And to that, I say put out an album, and maybe we'll think about that apology.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. And you put out, like, three really.

[Nicole]

Great albums in a Row quiet for a little bit.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. To make up for the fact that you made a song about Hitler. The fuck? What?

[Nicole]

It's really actually crazy.

[Sasheer]

It's crazy.

[Nicole]

He also sold T shirts with swastikasada, and he's like, oopsies. And I think there's a lot of mentally ill people out there, you know?

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

A lot of people who have swings and moods. I have swings and moods. Not once have I ever said, I'm gonna sell swastikas.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nicole]

But maybe I'm not that sick.

[Sasheer]

But also not a competition to things that other people who are ill don't.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

You know, like, maybe they. Maybe other people would be doing this more, but they're just, like, screaming out to the ether, and he's like, I can actually make this happen.

[Nicole]

I can put this on the radio. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

That is.

[Nicole]

That is wild.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

I follow this lady. Or I don't follow her. She pops up on my for you page a lot. Her name is Stacy Kinnison, and the only reason why I know her name is because she says it before every video, and she says the wildest things.

[Sasheer]

Oh, no.

[Nicole]

She thinks Sandra Bullock is, like, after her.

[Sasheer]

I think you sent me one of these videos. Yeah.

[Nicole]

And she's, like, just saying things into the ether. But I feel like more people have, like, found her, and they'll comment. They'll be like, you better get Sandra Bullock. Or like, sandra Bullock is after you.

[Sasheer]

Or like, girl, like, watch out. She's coming out with a new movie for you. Yes.

[Nicole]

And I'm like, maybe that's not how we should respond to that.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But also it's like, how should we respond?

[Sasheer]

I don't know her.

[Nicole]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Times are getting wilder.

[Sasheer]

Times are getting very wild.

[Nicole]

And what we need is celebrities to be wild, not the regulars. I want the. The celebs to be wild. Wild, wild. Yeah. Also on Instagram. I was served. What is his name? He owns Amazon. Mr. Bae. Mr. Bae Bezos.

[Sasheer]

Mr. Bae. Yeah.

[Nicole]

Mr. Besos. His wife never looks good. It's, like, actually unhinged.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. You'd think with that much money.

[Nicole]

Yes, you. You would look good.

[Sasheer]

But also, like, maybe who. Maybe her stylists are, like, sabotaging. Oh, maybe from the inside.

[Nicole]

Maybe she was wearing this, like, fur thing that I was like, yikes, this looks tough. And then it was like, Dior, and I was like, what? How do you make Dior look like that?

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And then this is really mean. And I'm not, like, body shaming her. Face is fucked. Her face is like. It's like. It's very gremlin. Like, lady Gremlin. Like, I love how you're not participating. It's okay. I could be on this hill alone.

[Sasheer]

It's like.

[Nicole]

It'S. I can't really do it because of my mouth. But, like, her. Her mouth is so, like, wide. She looks like there's a toy or like a cartoon where like. Like, talk like that at their mouth. Like, the mouth split. That's what she looks like to me. It is so nuts. And, like, if I, you know, sold my soul for money and, like, became an evil person, I'm gonna look so good.

[Sasheer]

You would think, right?

[Nicole]

I'm gonna look like Cruella de Vil. Like, custom. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

This is wearing off the rack and making it look like garbage. Yeah. Wild.

[Sasheer]

It's wild.

[Nicole]

Wild, wild, wild. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest and not adding a single thing.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, you got it, girl.

[Nicole]

Should we answer questions and queries?

[Host]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Ooh. Whoa. Was that your neck? Oh, my God. Are you okay?

[Nicole]

No, I'm falling apart at the scenes.

[Sasheer]

It seems like I have to get.

[Nicole]

On a plane tomorrow.

[Sasheer]

Oh, my God. I. I do too. What time is your plane?

[Nicole]

9. What time's your plane?

[Sasheer]

11.

[Nicole]

Oh, I'll be there before you. Hopefully I'll be comfortable. My butt's a little smaller. That's honestly, like, the issue I have.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

My butt is too wide for economy seats. And honestly, the average woman is a size 16. A size 16 should be able to fit in an economy size seat comfortably. Right?

[Sasheer]

You're right. But he trying to squeeze more people on a plane to make more money.

[Nicole]

I get that. Do you remember? I think it was the travel man.

[Sasheer]

Who's the travel man?

[Nicole]

I don't know.

[Sasheer]

Points guy.

[Nicole]

No, he's like, a White House person. Somebody in the White House was like, people should dress up for flights again.

[Sasheer]

I didn't see that.

[Nicole]

You didn't see that? No. Wait, Allie, did you see that?

[Host]

Yeah, I did. He was like, if you dress nicer, maybe you'll be helped better and it'll go smoother for you.

[Sasheer]

When was the point of what he held a press conference for this? What was. What was the overarching conversation with what? Like.

[Host]

Like, back in the day when it was Pan Am and people were. Would wear fits. He was like, let's do that again.

[Nicole]

Yeah. And it's like, I'm sorry. You charge you nickel and dime for everything. The food is inedible. Like, who am I dressing up for truly, I'm literally dressing for a sky. A sky bed. I'm going to sleep. I don't want to be awake for this.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. People were dressing up when you got served full steaks.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sasheer]

Smoke cigars on a plane. And like. And there was a dance floor and a bar. Literally, there were planes that had dance floors and bars. It's like, I would dress up for that. Not like I'm squished in a middle seat.

[Nicole]

And like, imagine wearing a three piece suit in economy.

[Sasheer]

Ridiculous. And my. My outlet doesn't work. My screen is broken.

[Nicole]

Are you kidding me? No. No.

[Sasheer]

Wearing sweats.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I wear sweats. My sweats at least match.

[Sasheer]

There you go. You know, that's a set.

[Nicole]

That's a set.

[Sasheer]

That's.

[Nicole]

But I would dress up if flying was nicer. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

You know, give me an environment to. For it to be nice.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Imagine dancing on a plane in the sky.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

That would be so fun.

[Sasheer]

It would be really fun.

[Nicole]

Should bring back fun like that.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. I mean, I also feel like there was probably less turbulence back then, so it probably was. You would be like, we're really doing the twist.

[Nicole]

Wait, a map.

[Sasheer]

We're really doing the twist.

[Nicole]

Ooh, that got me good. But imagine they like had like little lassos that like attach to the wall for turbulence.

[Sasheer]

Like when like on subway. Like one of those straps that hang from the pole.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

Or like, is it around your waist?

[Nicole]

Okay. What you came up with was better. Like poles and you could like hang on to it. No, I was thinking you were strapped in and then it tethered to the wall. But I guess that doesn't really work if you go up.

[Sasheer]

Like when you leash a child.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Okay. Okay. Answer these questions to find out what type of best friend you are. You either have a chaotic bestie or you are one. I think we know the answers to this.

[Sasheer]

We all play roles in our friend groups. While we may be different things to different people, who are you to your closest friend? Says a lot about you. Your friend personality can be influenced by a variety of things. Maybe your zodiac sign. Maybe you. Your. Maybe your zodiac sign makes you bossy. Fire signs. Or growing up as the oldest child and your family has made you a natural caretaker.

[Nicole]

Which of these would you gift your friend if you were their Secret Santa?

[Sasheer]

Concert tickets.

[Nicole]

An all expense paid trip.

[Sasheer]

Dream date with a celebrity.

[Nicole]

A shopping spree. Whoa. We have money in this.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. This situation, like, money's unlimited.

[Nicole]

See? For my friend.

[Sasheer]

Mm. For Secret Santa.

[Nicole]

Yes. I'm going to pick. I was Gonna pick concert tickets. But there could be a concert in an all expense paid trip.

[Sasheer]

Oh. I mean, it's one of the expenses.

[Nicole]

I'm gonna do an all expense paid trip.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, I would do. I would do concert tickets because then we could do this together and maybe I get tickets for all of our friends and we do have a fun trip together. Y' all pick an iconic best friend.

[Nicole]

Charles Boyle from Brooklyn. 9.

[Sasheer]

9. Chandler Bing from Friends.

[Nicole]

Aditi from Yay. Jawani. Holly. Diwani. Yay.

[Sasheer]

Joanni. Hi. Diwani. Oh, I've even heard of this.

[Nicole]

Me either.

[Sasheer]

Circuit from Muna by mbbs. I also haven't heard of that.

[Nicole]

Interesting.

[Sasheer]

Well, I'm gonna say Chandler. Bang.

[Nicole]

This is oddly specific.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And I'm gonna say Aditi because she seems like fun. Actually, no, I'm gonna say Circuit. He looks like fun. Look at those gold chains.

[Sasheer]

And Circuit's a fun name.

[Nicole]

That's a great name.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Probably really energetic.

[Nicole]

Your best friend wants to get back with their ex. What do you do?

[Sasheer]

Be supportive.

[Nicole]

Make sarcastic comments.

[Sasheer]

Take them out. Oh, talk them out of it. I was like, take them out. My God, you're not gonna kill them.

[Nicole]

Set them up with someone else immediately. I think at this point in my life I'm gonna be supportive. Nice.

[Sasheer]

I think.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

I think it would also be supportive because you can't talk someone out of it. It's up to them.

[Nicole]

They're gonna make a choice. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

Pick an activity to do with your friend.

[Nicole]

Club hopping, trekking. Wine tasting.

[Sasheer]

Sit and do nothing.

[Nicole]

That picture is funny because they're stretching. It seems like they're doing something.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Their legs are in the air.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

I'm gonna say sit and do nothing.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Sasheer]

I like when you can hang out with people and do nothing.

[Nicole]

That is nice. You know, club hopping looks like fun. And honestly, catch me on a good day. I'll do it the rest of the year. Nah. So I'm gonna say I like wine tasting. Yeah. Wine tasting is lovely.

[Sasheer]

It's lovely. What do your friends like the most about you?

[Nicole]

Honesty, Sense of humor, Intelligence.

[Sasheer]

Kindness.

[Nicole]

It's really funny that honesty and sense of humor are blue, intelligence is black, and kindness is red.

[Sasheer]

Feels like there is like one of those, like, magic tricks where they want you to pick a certain one. The color.

[Nicole]

Yeah, like the color indicates what we to pick.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Ow. I think I'm going to say sense of humor.

[Sasheer]

I think I'm going to say kindness. I don't think. I don't know if my friends like my honesty.

[Nicole]

Maybe they like Your honesty. When they're asking for honesty, no, sometimes they don't actually. Okay.

[Sasheer]

Pick a classic Bollywood movie to watch together.

[Nicole]

Kabihi Kushni Kambi Gum Perry. Dilwale Dulhan.

[Sasheer]

Diwali Dulhania Le Jang. And then Zing Zind, Zindagi Nah Malegi Dobara.

[Nicole]

I think we did a really good job pronouncing those. I'm gonna say the first one because there's a woman in it. I watched a Bollywood movie on a plane. I wish I could remember what it was, but it was so fun.

[Sasheer]

They're fun.

[Nicole]

The dad slash mom friend. You're a neat guy. You're always armed with puns. A fanny pack full of snacks and dance move straight from the 90s. You're the responsible one of the group. But you. You sure are a joy to be around. You're indispensable.

[Sasheer]

That feels like it should be mine.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sasheer]

I always have a fanny pack and snacks.

[Nicole]

I never have a snack. I'm constantly so hungry.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna say Diwali Duhani La Ja Ange, because there's a guitar there, and maybe he's gonna serenade with me. And so I am the dad slash mom friend. Is everybody. What do you do with this quiz? Yeah, that's the only option.

[Nicole]

I wonder if we go back to mine and I pick a different movie, will it give us a different. Yeah, do Hera Perry.

[Sasheer]

I don't know if we can.

[Nicole]

Oh, we gotta do the whole thing again.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

You know what? That's okay.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. All right. We're the dad slash mom.

[Nicole]

I'll be the dad.

[Sasheer]

I'll be the mom.

[Nicole]

We have to take a break. Daddy, wait. Mommy, I forgot who you were. Support for this podcast is brought to you by Chamberlain University. Okay, let's talk about health care for a second. It's not just a job. It is a whole calling. It takes a special kind of person to do it. But I think a lot of us get stuck in that, like, dreaming phase. And if you're sitting there thinking, I really want to be a nurse or I really want to take my nursing career to the next level, but you're scared to make the jump. Stop sitting on that feeling. You need the right people in your corner. And it starts with Chamberlain University. They have been preparing healthcare professionals for over 135 years. As the nation's largest nursing school, they actually have the resources to support you. And look, they know you have a life outside of school. That's why they have fully flexible options. Whether you need online classes, hybrid learning, or evening and weekend schedules. 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[Sasheer]

Should we answer some questions?

[Nicole]

Let's answer some questions and queries.

[Host]

Hey Nicole and Sashir, I have a question about hanging out with an old friend. We originally were best friends in high school and drifted apart in our early 20s. I recently found his Instagram so we added each other and reconnected. I drove out to meet up and we decided to hit up a few bars. I'm all for having a couple drinks and chatting it up, but he was looking to take shots all night and stumble from bar to bar and partake in additional substances. No judgment, just not what I had in mind. Being blacked out around people or being hungover myself gives me too much anxiety now and I need 2 to 3 business days to recover. LOL. Apparently he doesn't feel the same way as he is always suggesting Going for bar crawls, staying up all night and offering to crash at his place. One detail is that he is openly gay, so I do get that there is a different party scene in the gay community. I love catching up with him and hearing about his adventures. I'm just not into the bar hopping scene anymore. He also doesn't live in the safest area. He's told me some stories of him getting into fights and being robbed, which as a woman also makes me hesitant to walk the streets drunk late at night. I haven't confronted him about this yet, but I have said things like, oh, those party days are behind me. He just keeps suggesting to go out and I say I'm busy. Or if I bring up him driving to meet me, he just says, well, there's nothing really to do in your area. How do I suggest a chill hangout without sounding judgmental or like, I don't want to hang out with him. Love to hear your take. Yours truly, a lightweight homebody, 30 something year old.

[Sasheer]

I get it. I get it, sister. I mean, maybe if the like deterrent for him to come to your area is there's nothing to do, Suggest something to do. Like be like, come to my area and let's get brunch. Gays love brunch. Get brunch. Do a daytime hang.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sasheer]

There's a museum I want to go to. There's a pottery studio I want to hit up. You know, like suggest an activity other than just come to my area and then hopefully I'll be a draw.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I think, I think that's a good idea. I also think you can do night things. Like do a night like bingo loco. Like do. Do an activity where like they can drink. You don't necessarily have to drink. There's a finite end to it. And you could be like. And that's it for me. And they can go out and go bar hopping if they want to after. Yeah. But I think planning an activity is like a good way to be like. And that's the end of the night for me. As opposed to bar hopping and whatnot.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, yeah. There's also some bars that have like fun activities, like the virtual golf club station. What are those things called?

[Nicole]

Topgolf.

[Sasheer]

No, not top. It's virtual where they have like a screen and you're like. It's like we. Where you're like, you like hit the. You have like a club and you like hit a pretend ball and it like goes somewhere.

[Nicole]

Oh, that's fun.

[Sasheer]

I forgot there's like a term for It. But yeah, those are like pool or pinball or duck pin bowling. What is it? Like the. It's like the smaller ball, and then the pins are attached to strings, like a little marionette, and then when you hit them, they go up and then they come back down. So it's like a small and it's a smaller lane or just regular bowling.

[Nicole]

I know that one. Yeah. But the regular bowling, there's places where.

[Sasheer]

There'S an activity and drinking can still happen. So. And like we said, if he still wants to party after, he can do that. But you don't have to come with.

[Nicole]

Yes, I think that's the plan. Make a plan.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

And if you feel like you want to say something, you can be like, you know, partying is not my vibe at this point in my life, so I'd rather do activities. But also you can just suggest things.

[Nicole]

And hopefully, yes, you can have a movie night. You can go see a movie, go to a bar, go see a movie.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, I. I did have a friend, or she's still my friend, but she used to get high a lot. Lot. And when we would meet up, it was difficult for me to, like, engage with her because I felt like there was like a literal cloud in front of me and we weren't really connecting. And I was like, oh, I kind of like hanging out with you to connect. And so I did bring it up and I was like, yeah, I kind of would like you to be less high or just not high when we meet up because I find it difficult to actually, like, have conversations with you and connect unless we're partying, but, like, if we're not, I. I don't want to be the only one in the situation who's not high. And she. She understood and she was like, got it. I will work on that. And. And then it made our experiences much better.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Sometimes you just have to say, hey, I want you.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Host]

Solved. Hi, Nicole and Sasheer. I'm so happy the podcast is back from hiatus. I'm so happy to have your lovely dynamic back in my feed, everyone. Wednesday. I'll try to keep my gushing to a minimum because I feel like this email is already novel length smiley face. I have a group of five friends I've known since middle school, and we're now in our early 30s. Over the years, we've scattered across the country and now mostly keep in touch via group chat and periodic video calls of the group. There are two people that I still consider some of my closest friends. However, I've drifted further and further from the other three and have very little in common with any of them anymore. When we do talk, I find myself coming away from any time spent with them, annoyed and sometimes even angry. I feel like they only want to talk about themselves and often are dismissive or condescending about my life. I've already begun the process of distancing myself from them and I haven't replied in the group chat in almost six months and no one seemed to notice, making me even more sure that my presence is not important to these people. The problem is the two people I remain close with are very resistant to me continuing to dis the people I. The two people I remain close with are very resistant to me continuing to distance myself from the group. If I ignore invitations to FaceTime, they'll text me and guilt me into joining in. Do you think there's a diplomatic way to maintain space from the rest of the group without jeopardizing the connections with the two people I'm still close with? Should I just suck it up and continue engaging with the other people even though it causes nothing but annoy and stress? Am I being selfish letting go of 20 plus year friendships? Thank you for. Thank you so much for all that you do.

[Nicole]

I'm very much like, if it's not serving, you, get rid of it.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But if the other two are like, kind of putting up a fight or whatever, maybe it's like, okay, you do do the face times, but there's a limit. You know, you do five minutes and you're like, oh, I'm so sorry I have to do X, Y and Z. It's so hard to, like, get a day where I'm free to do longer face times because I'm doing X, Y and Z. Yeah.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But I also don't love the mental gymnastics of trying to keep these people in your life that, like, you don't care about.

[Sasheer]

I know.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

I wonder, because you could just tell those other two people, like, I'd rather just talk to you guys. Like, we can have our own separate thing where we do FaceTimes and chat and stuff, but I don't really want to talk to the main group group anymore. And I don't know if that's worth a conversation with the other girls or.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I think maybe the ones that they still like, they can explain how they feel.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And why they don't want to do, you know, things with the other people. Because that's happened in my life where, like, it's like, oh, I don't really Want to hang out with this person anymore because of X, Y and Z. And I'm like, oh, okay, well, I'll still hang out with them. Oh, now I actually see what that person's saying. I don't really want to hang out with them anymore either.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. So, yeah, maybe the front. Maybe the friends that she does talk to don't know why she's feeling that way. So maybe, like, further explain, like, this is what I'm feeling. And maybe they'll see it themselves. And. Yeah. Because maybe those friends are also like, yeah, join the FaceTime. Because it just feels easier to be like, there's no problem here. But, like, once you have. Once you're like, there is a problem and I don't want to participate in this, then you have to actually, like, analyze it.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

And that's not fun. No. Yeah. But, yeah, I think be honest with yourself and the friends that you like to talk to. And you can also just remove yourself from the group.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

You can remove yourself from the group text. Yeah. And I will say, when you're left over from that, sometimes it hurts leftover. I've been in a group text where someone has left, and because it announces it, it goes so. And so has left the conversation.

[Sasheer]

And you're like, what? Yeah, yeah, it does feel dramatic. It's actually kind of rude that they. Yes. Put it. Yes, this person has left.

[Nicole]

Left the conversation.

[Sasheer]

Let them leave silently.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sasheer]

So rude. But yeah, but also, like, it could just be like, they're just protecting their piece.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sasheer]

And you guys can have your own thoughts about it, but they just want.

[Nicole]

They just gotta get out. They gotta get out. They gotta get out.

[Sasheer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think. I don't think you have to, like.

[Nicole]

No.

[Sasheer]

Figure out. Because also, I've tried to have a FaceTime, a group FaceTime with someone who I was not getting along with at the time, and I can't fake it. Like, it's just, like, it sucks your energy. And I'm like, why am I doing.

[Nicole]

Yeah, why am I doing this? Why am I pretending for this person who's being awful?

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Get out of there.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Do one more.

[Sasheer]

Let's do more.

[Host]

Hey, Nicole, Sasheer and everyone at Team Best Friends. My name is Jasmine, and I've been having a little bit of a struggle making friends. I live with my boyfriend of two years, and for most of our relationship, we've both had at least one friend. But recently he's been making a lot more friends and hanging out a lot more. I'm super happy for him to have new friends, but I can't help but feel alone when he's out. It gets me to a point where I make it about me and cry about how he doesn't have time for me as much anymore. But in reality, I guess I just feel a little left out. I understand he needs guy time and time for himself, so it makes me feel bad that I'm being a buzzkill and making it about me. I live in a small town, so making friends is kind of a challenge. I would love some advice on how I can make more friends and get myself out there. I'm kind of shy, so it's hard for me to talk to others because I'm always overthinking about how they won't like me. Thank you so much and I love the podcast. P.S. nicole, do you listen to Cupcake? If not, I highly suggest you listen to some of her music because I feel like you two match the same vibe about dicks.

[Nicole]

I understand that. I do listen to Cupcake. I have a cupcake shirt that I once wore to the gym and forgot I was wearing. Has one of her lyrics on it. It says, I want to blow bubbles with your sperm. And I was walking around the gym, LA Fitness in Hollywood, and people were staring at me and I was like, what the fuck? And then I went to the, the fitting room, the changing room, the locker room, and I looked in the mirror and I was like, that's why they're all staring. I forgot I was wearing this shirt. But yeah, I love cupcakes. She's nasty.

[Sasheer]

That's fun.

[Nicole]

Yeah. She's got a song about a dick looking like Squidward's nose. She is. Is delightful. None of her songs are like, safe for you to listen around other people. Like, it's. She's wild. I love her. But to our, to our friend, our listener, I think you gotta get a hobby. That's always my advice. Get a hobby.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Because you'll make friends doing that hobby because you already like the heavy lifting is kind of done. You have a shared interest. You have something automatic to talk about.

[Sasheer]

And even if you don't make a friend at the hobby, at least you're doing something fun. Like, at least you're doing something that you like. And maybe it's fun to have a solo activity.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sasheer]

But then, yeah, ideally you meet somebody that feels like minded and you can hopefully grow from there. You can also ask your boyfriend, like, are there any friends that have a girlfriend and we could do a double date or something.

[Nicole]

That's also a very good idea.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. And hopefully you vibe with that person and hopefully make a new friend that way.

[Nicole]

And I will say I feel like they need to resist the urge about crying and saying, you don't have time for me, because, you know, because you're saying on one level that, you know, it's just because they've made more friends and that you haven't. So you're, like, taking it out on him, even though, you know, it's, like, not a you problem per se, but, like, you know that you. If you had more friends, you wouldn't be feeling this way.

[Sasheer]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

So it's like, don't. Don't take it out on him because he has friends.

[Sasheer]

Yeah. Yeah. And like, you should want him to have friends. Like, that's gonna enrich both of your lives if you both have community outside of each other.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sasheer]

So, yeah. Yeah. It really is. Like, what can you do to help yourself get more community? And not necessarily. What does he need to do to make you feel better about this? Unless it is, like, ask your friends.

[Host]

Who.

[Sasheer]

Who else can I hang out with? And it sounds like they each had one friend when they went into this relationship. So maybe you also ask your one friend, hey, I'm looking for more friends. Do you have any that you think would. I would jive well with or drive well with?

[Nicole]

No. So sure, use those words. Hey, you got anybody I could jive well with?

[Sasheer]

I'm trying to drive.

[Nicole]

I'm trying to drive the crew, you know, trying to get a crew to drive. You know, get out there, drive.

[Sasheer]

That's why she doesn't have friends. She says jive all the time. Like, I would hang out with her.

[Nicole]

But she says drive too much and we don't like it. But, yeah, see if there's anyone you can jive with. Be a drive jerky.

[Sasheer]

And Bumble Bumble has that friend thing, which. Yeah, I think that's, like, there's no shame in that. Like, everyone's finding people online. May as well find friends too.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Why not? Yeah. So.

[Sasheer]

And if you have any questions or queries, you can email us at Sashir and Nicole at. Or is it Nicole, Nicole and Sashir, Nicole and Sashir? Gmail dot com.

[Host]

And we got a number, and it is 323238-6554.

[Sasheer]

Well, well, see you later. See you later. Ew. Don't touch me with your feet. What are you doing, guys?

[Nicole]

Saying goodbye. Goodbye. Best Friends is a production of Headgum Studios.

[Sasheer]

Our producer is Ali Khan.

[Nicole]

Our executive producer is Anya Konovskaya.

[Sasheer]

The show is edited, mixed and engineered by Richelle Chen.

[Host]

That was a headgum pod.