Nicole's Newly Into Tron

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata

Episode: Nicole’s Newly Into Tron
Date: January 28, 2026
Network: Headgum

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Episode Overview

This episode of Best Friends features Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata sharing stories and reflections on nostalgia, pop culture (especially their new and old movie obsessions), chaotic rideshare experiences, and answering thoughtful listener queries about friendship and self-acceptance. Throughout, Nicole and Sasheer’s playful banter and sharp humor are front and center, making even weightier topics accessible and cathartic. The show’s theme this week is a mix of nostalgia, growing older, and navigating life’s unpredictabilities with your best friend by your side.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nostalgia & High School Food Quests

[00:37-08:35]

• Nicole reminisces about her high school cafeteria’s legendary spicy chicken and cookies.
  • “Do you think I can go back to Middletown High School South on a Thursday or Friday as an adult and get some spicy chicken?” (Nicole, 02:01)
  • Nicole discusses elaborate schemes—posing as a student, contacting her old guidance counselor, or demanding to be in the “hall of fame”—all in pursuit of nostalgia.
• Sasheer shares her high school’s Hall of Fame experience.
  • “I’m in my high school's hall of fame.” (Sasheer, 03:13)
• Reflection on how nostalgic quests may disappoint, and how memory can sweeten the past.
  • Nicole’s “Nice man” warns: “They might not taste as good as you remember.” Nicole nearly tears up at the idea.

2. Romantic Getaways with Your Bestie

[08:04-09:12]

• Nicole proposes a girls’ weekend to Sasheer: nostalgia-food tour, NYC fun, Poconos with quirky themed bathtubs.
  • “Do you want to go have a romantic weekend with me in the Poconos?” (Nicole, 08:04)
• Laughter around being mistaken for a couple vs. sisters on their adventures.
  • “You’re having too much fun to be married.” (Sasheer, 09:03)

3. Marriage, Fraud, and Government Bucks

[09:16-10:40]

• Nicole reveals her (past) sham marriage; both riff on “frauding the government” in a joking tone.
  • “I frauded the government, but I was a youth.” (Nicole, 09:51)
• Tangent into frustrations about taxes, government spending, and wanting itemized receipts.
  • “Where are my government bucks going?” (Nicole, 10:12)
  • “I want names. What child am I feeding?” (Nicole, 10:39)

4. Adopting and Naming Pets (and Catnapping)

[11:17-18:32]

• Sasheer details “catnapping” an outdoor cat who became a new pet—Sesame.
  • “She had the world. She could go anywhere she wanted... And you said, no, no.” (Nicole, 14:09)
• Exploration of animal consent, the quirks of naming pets (e.g., Corn Cob, Jamal Simmons, Charlie, Clyde), and improv around basic vs. unique pet names.

5. Pop Culture: Movies, CGI, & the Tron Franchise

[24:34-30:07]

• Frustration about Hollywood’s over-reliance on reboots/remakes and their reluctance to experiment.
  • “Hollywood does a weird thing where they don’t allow the consumer to tell them what they want.” (Nicole, 24:37)
• Nicole’s newfound obsession with Tron; confusion over the sparse franchise.
  • “I want to watch all of the Tron movies. ...There’s just two other ones.” (Nicole, 26:23)
  • “I would like a sequel. I don’t think they’re gonna do a sequel for, like, another 10, 15 years. Because that seems to be the trajectory.” (Nicole, 28:50)
• Issues actors face with CGI-heavy productions and longing for practical effects.

6. Action Movies & James Bond Confessions

[30:07-39:20]

• Sasheer is watching Daniel Craig’s Bond films and enthusiastically describes their wild action: “All the transportation—trains, planes, automobiles... and it’s crazy. I’m screaming!” (Sasheer, 30:50)
• Nicole on why she’s never watched Bond: “I think the reasoning is he’s British.” (Nicole, 31:28)
• Discussion of Idris Elba possibly being the next Bond and Apple TV shows (i.e., Hijack).

7. Van Helsing and Monster Movie Madness

[34:01-39:20]

• Nicole hilariously recaps Van Helsing (2004) featuring vampires, Frankenstein, Dr. Jekyll, werewolves, and steampunk vibes: “One of the craziest movies I’ve ever seen. And Van Helsing—much like James Bond—very bad at his job.” (Nicole, 38:51)
• Kate Beckinsale’s accent and corset get special comedic attention.

8. Consumer Rants & Rideshare Disasters

[43:35-54:53]

• Nicole critiques the clothing brand Farm Rio, rants about failing at her resolution not to buy new things.
• Both trade wild Uber stories—reckless driving, lack of seatbelts, disputes with drivers.
  • “And do you think I put on a seatbelt? No.” (Nicole, 45:55)
• Debate: Is wearing a backseat seatbelt necessary? Nicole’s rationale: “I really don’t think there’s a need.” (Nicole, 50:11)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with Timestamps)

• High School Chicken Quest

  • “How do I say, put me on your wall and give me chicken?” (Nicole, 03:49)

• On Nostalgia Disappointment

  • “They might not taste as good as you remember.” (Nice man in Nicole’s life, 05:08)
  • “I can, like, taste it on my lips.” (Nicole, 05:19)

• About Marriage

  • “We’re, like, in the honeymoon suite, and we’re like, we’re married. And they’re like, no, no, you’re sisters.” (Sasheer, 08:57)

• Government Fraud Jokes

  • “Honestly, fraud a lot. Where are my government bucks going?” (Nicole, 10:08)
  • “If you’re not frauding the government once in a while, are you even living?” (Sasheer, 09:57)

• Absurdity of Hollywood

  • “They go, we’re gonna keep remaking things. And we go, please stop.” (Nicole, 24:47)

• Pet Name Antics

  • “I just think it’d be really funny...being like, ‘Jamal! Like, Jamal Simmons!’” (Nicole, 16:15)

• On Seatbelts

  • “She’s—no need.” (Nicole, on backseat seatbelts, 50:11)
  • “That’s not correct.” (Sasheer, 50:14)
  • “If I was wearing a seatbelt, my neck would probably have marks on it.” (Nicole, 50:29)
  • “I just don’t see that for me.” (Nicole, 51:50)

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Listener Questions & Friendly Wisdom

1. Attracting Toxic Friends

[55:04-59:16]

• Listener struggles with attracting “toxic” friends in new social settings.
• Key advice:
  • “Toxic people are enthralling at first...a lot of toxic people are narcissists, and narcissists turn on the charm in the beginning and then let their real selves be known later.” (Nicole, 56:34)
  • “Don’t invest too much in people at first...curate some get togethers so you can like, really get to know those people.” (Nicole, 56:45)
  • “Date them first.” (Sasheer, 57:02)
  • Make a list of desired friend qualities.

2. Handling Bullies & Building Confidence

[59:49-64:22]

• Late-diagnosed, neurodivergent listener asks about handling bullies and critical people.
• “It just takes practice and it’s an ongoing journey... just being aware of it is also on the journey to eventually having just less negative thoughts.” (Sasheer, 60:27)
• Nicole: “I dress strangely sometimes...and I pick and choose the days I’m okay with somebody saying something mean.”
• Coping with online bullying: “I know what I do. That’s okay...[I] move on.” (Nicole, 63:25)
• Sasheer suggests collecting positive comments for self-affirmation.

3. Family & Partner Criticism About Weight

[64:30-72:20]

• Listener shares the struggle of receiving ongoing comments about her body from her mom and boyfriend.
• Nicole: “I think gaining 40 pounds but being okay mentally is fine.” (66:37)
• On addressing the boyfriend: “This is a non-negotiable...I cannot be harassed in a relationship like this. It’s not nice and it’s not kind.” (Nicole, 67:19)
• Family boundary suggestion: externally agree to “tucker them out,” but internalize your own values.
• Sasheer: “If this person really has a problem...he should go live his life and find that person [he wants]. And you also deserve to have peace and not feel like your partner is adding to your stress.” (71:41)

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Tone & Overall Vibe

Nicole and Sasheer are candid, supportive, and irreverently hilarious. Even when offering serious advice, they keep things rooted in personal experience and gentle banter. The episode is packed with authentic friend energy, celebrating the quirks, struggles, and joys of adulthood—with a heavy side of movie love and a commitment to self-acceptance and humor.

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Quick Reference Timestamps

| Segment/Topic | Timestamp | |------------------------------------------|--------------| | High School Chicken/Nostalgia | 00:37-08:35 | | Bestie Weekend Planning | 08:04-09:12 | | Marriage & Government Fraud Anecdotes | 09:16-10:40 | | Pet Adoption, Names, Consent | 11:17-18:32 | | Pop Culture (Tron, CGI, Hollywood Talk) | 24:34-30:07 | | Action Movies/JBonds/Idris Elba | 30:07-39:20 | | Rideshare Chaos & Seatbelt Debate | 43:35-54:53 | | Toxic Friends (Q&A) | 55:04-59:16 | | Handling Bullies/Confidence (Q&A) | 59:49-64:22 | | Family/Partner Body Comments (Q&A) | 64:30-72:20 |

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For anyone who missed the episode: expect a mix of the absurd (seatbelt logic), the sincere (friendship advice), pop culture deep dives (Tron, Van Helsing, Bond), and some honest navigation of adulthood’s emotional, physical, and nostalgic minefields—all with laughter.

Transcript

[Host/Announcer]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[Nicole Byers]

New year, same extra value meals at McDonald's now. Get a savory sausage McMuffin with egg plus hash browns and a small coffee for just $5 for limited time only. Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California. And for. Hello, Sasheer.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hello, Nicole.

[Nicole Byers]

How are you?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Good. How are you?

[Nicole Byers]

Listen, I have questions and queries.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Nicole Byers]

Okay. So I was reminiscing, and I graduated high school a long, long time ago. But on Thursdays and Fridays, I think those are the days they had Spicy chicken day.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Whoa. I feel like my high school had a pizza day. But a spicy chicken day is wildly specific.

[Nicole Byers]

It was spicy chicken and French fries.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Nicole Byers]

And they had one of the most delectable chocolate chip cookies. And one of my best friends from high school, Nick, loves to remind me that I once caught. I got caught stealing one once, but I was quick, and I threw it under the vending machine, and I was like, I only have two.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wait, how many did you steal? I stole one. So did you pay for two and you were trying to steal.

[Nicole Byers]

Yes, I was trying to pay for two steal one, which is kind of like how I live currently.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And then did you retrieve the cookie later?

[Nicole Byers]

I couldn't. She had her eye on me. Oh, and also, I'm not eating off the floor. I'm not that fat.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It wasn't in a wrapper?

[Nicole Byers]

No. Oh, that is a good question. So if I remember correctly, they were cookies that were made fresh and they were in a drawer, and you open the drawer and you take the cookies, and I tried to, like, put more napkin around one of the cookies. And I'd gotten away with it before.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

So I was like, I'll get away with it again. But then she was like, you have three. And I said, no, I don't.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And I went, that's really funny.

[Nicole Byers]

But here's my quandary. My query. Do you think I can go back to Middletown High School south on a Thursday or Friday as an adult and get some spicy chicken? Do you think.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I mean, maybe you can. I don't know if, like, any adult can do that and be like, I used to go here, but maybe you can. They'd probably be so happy that you're even there.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't want, like, an announcement or anything. I just want the spicy chicken.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They might have to announce it or they don't have to, but I think it'd be a real treat for them to be like, Nicole Byers back in town.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't Think the kids know who I am at this point.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, does your. Oh, wait.

[Nicole Byers]

Maybe they do, because they're gen Alpha, I think. And I think they grew up watching. Nailed it. Okay, so maybe they do know who I am, and maybe that's how I'll get my spicy chicken. The children are.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Do you. Does your school have, like, a. Like a, like, alum list or, like, a. Like, hall of fame or whatever?

[Nicole Byers]

Absolutely. No. I don't know this.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Right. Okay.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't know. I don't know anything about how to get back into that school.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm in my high school's hall of fame.

[Nicole Byers]

What does that mean?

[Sasheer Zamata]

There's, like, plaques on the wall. It's like, in the school. In the school? Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

With, like, your face and stuff.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byers]

And people pass by and go, sasheer.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Or they go, yeah, that girl.

[Sasheer Zamata]

To be like, these people went to our school.

[Nicole Byers]

That's crazy. I don't know if they have that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, maybe. Probably.

[Nicole Byers]

Wow.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like, schools love being like, we did that. We're responsible for this person's education and career. Whoa. Maybe.

[Nicole Byers]

How do I. How do I do that? How do I say, put me on your wall and give me chicken?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Maybe, like, you guys need to create a ceremony where you award me a ceremony, and then I'll come back and I get chicken for life.

[Nicole Byers]

I have a badge. It's like, who's this adult? And I'm like, I'm not an adult. I'm here for chicken.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Or you could.

[Nicole Byers]

You could.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You could go undercover.

[Nicole Byers]

Okay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

There was a woman I don't know a couple years ago who dressed as a student because her kid was getting bullied or something. And so she, like, wanted to, I guess, bully the kids back, and she just, like, put a hoodie on it, like, walked into the school and then.

[Nicole Byers]

Beat the shit out of those kids. But she got caught.

[Sasheer Zamata]

She did get caught. Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

I'm sure her punishment would be more severe than me just getting chicken.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Definitely. You're not beating kids up.

[Nicole Byers]

But what if I find one that I don't like and I'm just like, chicken? Wait. I still talk to my guidance counselor.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, that's nice.

[Nicole Byers]

I wonder if she still works at Middletown High School South. And I'm saying. I'm saying the school's name a lot because I'm really hoping someone's gonna help me with this.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Someone might. Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Middletown High School south in Middletown, New Jersey.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's so interesting that they were so good.

[Nicole Byers]

They were. I remember them being so good.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wow.

[Nicole Byers]

And I was talking to that Nice man in my life. And he was like, I don't think you should seek this out because they might not taste as good as you remember. And then I almost burst into tears.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No.

[Nicole Byers]

Because I can, like, taste it on my lips.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Would it be a huge disappointment if you tasted it and you're like, oh, no. Everything I believed in is gone.

[Nicole Byers]

Well, it would be a huge disappointment, but that's why I'm, like, putting it out there. And then, like, I don't want to sneak in. I want them to be ready for me. I want them to make the best basket of spicy chicken. Like, I want them to, like, put their feet in it. You know what I mean?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm also, like, astonished that they had, like, fresh baked cookies. Were they baking them at the school?

[Nicole Byers]

Yes. And it smelled so good in the mornings. And it was not fair for this little fatty because I'd be like, wonder the cookies done.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I feel like, go to class. I feel like most schools, like, don't care. Like, they, like. They're like, here's spaghetti. You know, like, here's something we can make for the masses. I don't feel like the meals are made with love.

[Nicole Byers]

I feel like these meals were made with love.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wow, that's great.

[Nicole Byers]

My senior year, well, this was like. This wasn't like a hunger thing, but I went to lunch twice because the lunch period I was assigned, none of my fucking friends were in it. So then I would go out and smoke weed with Pete. And then I would. During English, I would go to that lunch period and hang out with my friends.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I see.

[Nicole Byers]

And then my English teacher was like, you have to come to class. And I was like, this is not my fault.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You guys scheduled this wrong.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't know why you did it like this. Because I didn't go there to learn. I went to hang out.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I came for friends.

[Nicole Byers]

I did.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Damn.

[Nicole Byers]

That's my mission for 2026. I. I'm going to get spicy chicken from Middletown High School South.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think this is attainable. I think it's going to happen.

[Nicole Byers]

Will you fly across the country with me to eat spicy? Jacob, please? It's my dying wish.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Are you dying?

[Nicole Byers]

We're all dying. If we're gonna be real about it, this is true.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We are all dying.

[Nicole Byers]

Every day we live, we're a day closer to death. Which is a bummer if you think about it, but.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

And the necessary truth that we need to be living.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, for sure. I mean, what if there's other stops?

[Nicole Byers]

Oh, okay, okay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like, if we're like, already in New York, and we can pop over to Jersey. Great. I don't want to make the trip just for this. Just for this Middletown chicken sandwich.

[Nicole Byers]

But what if we made the trip and then went to New York? What if the trip was the impetus.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Impetus.

[Nicole Byers]

The impetus for us going to New York and having a fun time?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay, sure.

[Nicole Byers]

Or have you been to the Poconos?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't think I have. No.

[Nicole Byers]

There's trains there.

[Sasheer Zamata]

One, I love trains.

[Nicole Byers]

Two, there's a hotel with a champagne bathtub.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, that's fun.

[Nicole Byers]

And then a heart bathtub. Oh, do you want to go have a romantic weekend with me in the Poconos?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, that sounds really nice. I would love to. Thank you.

[Nicole Byers]

Thank you so much. Maybe our weekend will be spicy chicken, two days in New York at the. And then we go to the Poconos and see. And see some. Some fun hotel rooms and trains. I'm crying.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That sounds really lovely. I would like that.

[Nicole Byers]

Okay. Thank you so much. Because I pitched it to that nice man in my life, and he was like, you're not going to trick me into going to Pennsylvania. And I said, I guess I'll just have to have a romantic weekend with Sasheer. And he goes, okay. I said, all right.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I mean, he's one of many. We have many romantic weekends.

[Nicole Byers]

We do. I would say a lot of our trips are rather romantic and like sisters. Your sisters sisters? Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We're, like, in the honeymoon suite, and we're like, we're married. And they're like, no, no, you're sisters.

[Nicole Byers]

No, no.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You're having too much fun to be married.

[Nicole Byers]

That's very funny. I didn't think about that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Right.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah. Married people are probably not having as much fun as us. Not as much giggles.

[Sasheer Zamata]

As much giggles. Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

That's sad.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And that is sad.

[Nicole Byers]

Oh, my goodness. Maybe I don't want to get married.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I do think it changes things. I mean, I've never been married, but I've heard, I've seen, I've observed from the outside.

[Nicole Byers]

I have been married.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's right. That's true.

[Nicole Byers]

And simply don't know. We didn't live together.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, it's true.

[Nicole Byers]

It was a sham.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's a sham of a wedding.

[Nicole Byers]

It was more than 10 years ago, so I think I can't get in trouble for it. And I've spoken about it publicly all over the place.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Can you get in trouble for it?

[Nicole Byers]

Oh, I guess.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. It is escape.

[Nicole Byers]

I frauded the government, but I was a youth.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I mean, are you even Living. If you're not frauding the government once in a while, we're all dying.

[Nicole Byers]

You gotta live like you're gonna die. Fraud. Fraud a couple times. Honestly, fraud a lot.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Where are my government bucks going?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't know.

[Nicole Byers]

It's crazy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's crazy.

[Nicole Byers]

I'd be driving sometimes, and I'm like, that's not a pothole. That's a sinkhole. That's like. I don't know. Like, that's too big.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Why? Why? Where's my government bucks going?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

I would like an itemized receipt.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Me, too.

[Nicole Byers]

Tell me where it's going.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We should.

[Nicole Byers]

They. I have to itemize my taxes and.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. I tell you what. I spend my money.

[Nicole Byers]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Tell me what you spend your money on. What? You spend my money.

[Nicole Byers]

Yes. Yes. How do you spend my money?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Exactly.

[Nicole Byers]

Which potholes did you feel? What child did you give lunch to? I want names. I want to know which. What child I'm feeding.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's like one of those, like, when you, like, adopt an elephant from a different country, and they're like, here's an update on. On shishi.

[Nicole Byers]

Just like, give me a little story. Update on Shishi. Wait, have you adopted an elephant from another country?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I haven't. I should, though.

[Nicole Byers]

I think you should. I think it would be really nice.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. I mean, I guess you're not adapting, but you're, like, sponsoring.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah. Yeah, I'd love to sponsor an elephant.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

I want to go touch more animals. That sounded wild. Touch.

[Sasheer Zamata]

With consent.

[Nicole Byers]

With consent. Well, yes. And. Well, listen, like, no, listen, listen. No, that's not where I was going. I was going. I was like, well, animals don't talk. They don't really consent. But when they come over, they're consenting.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's true.

[Nicole Byers]

And they're like, when they, like, present themselves. Yeah, that's consenting.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I. I just catnapped a cat.

[Nicole Byers]

Yes. That cat did not consent to being taken.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think it did this. Okay, so there was this cat that's been coming outside the house, like, every so often, but only comes around when I'm in town, and so it feels like it likes me and. And would present, would shake its little ass, would, like, whip its little tail and, like, rub about on my legs. And I was like, oh, my go love me. And then also would try to walk in the house whenever we'd open the door. And I was like, damn, you really want to get in here? And at first, my girlfriend and I thought, we're going to make it an outdoor cat. And we, like, Bought this little, like, kind of like plastic house patio. Oh, look at you.

[Nicole Byers]

I learned, and then I retained you. Retained?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

I've been waiting for months to say that. You're like, when can I use. When can I say catio to somebody? So it was like a plastic patio.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It actually wasn't a catio.

[Nicole Byers]

Well, all right.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But it was a little cat house. And. And, you know, we're trying to, like, put food in there and usher her into. Into the house. And she's like, I guess, but I like being in the dirt. And then she just, like, lay in the garden. And then eventually we're like, well, maybe she could be, like an indoor outdoor cat. But in order for her to come indoor, we need to, like, go take her to the vet. And so we turned her to the vet, and she was already fixed. So, like, I don't know. I don't know if she used to belong to somebody or, like, kind of belong to somebody or if we just stole someone's cat. I have no idea. But she did have fleas, and she was malnourished, so I was like, so she's not, like, actively being taken care of. And. And she's, like, pretty chill around humans. So I was like, okay, you're kind of used to humans. That's good, I guess. And they're like, yeah, she's all clear. Like, no diseases or anything like that. Here's her cat. And then we're like, okay, let's bring her inside. But then we were like, well, we can't have her outside again. Because then she's like, she might bring something like diseases or fleas or whatever to the other animals in the house. So now she's an indoor cat. And she was screaming the first night, like, screaming her head. Like, she was like, wait, why can't I leave?

[Nicole Byers]

Like, what do you mean? You imprisoned a cat?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I know. The. The vet was like, well, she got a home, but at what cost?

[Nicole Byers]

That's a funny that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's a really funny that.

[Nicole Byers]

She had the world. She could go anywhere she wanted.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And you said, no, no.

[Nicole Byers]

Wow.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But she's getting fed regularly. She's clean, she's safe. She's going to fight for her life out there.

[Nicole Byers]

Maybe that's what she enjoyed.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I know. Maybe she.

[Nicole Byers]

Maybe she was like, I love fighting for my life. I love one. Maybe she's like Jack from Titanic. We're like.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay, come on, Please explain further.

[Nicole Byers]

So he has that, like, monologue where he is, like, he goes to dinner with, like, Rose's, like, family and friends or whatever. And he's like, nope, don't really have a home. I'm just out here in these streets. I don't know what I'm gonna do when I get to America. You gotta live one day like there's not gonna be the next day. And everyone's like, here, here. You don't remember this?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I really don't. I didn't watch it as much as you did.

[Nicole Byers]

Okay, well, this cat is Jack from Titanic.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, she might be, but she is calming down. She's, like, getting used to the other animals, getting used to the house. And I think it's. I think it's okay. But I was. For a minute, I was like, did I ruin her life? Did I just ruin this cat's life?

[Nicole Byers]

Did she try to bolt every time the door opens?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Now she does not.

[Nicole Byers]

Now she does not.

[Sasheer Zamata]

She actually never did bolt. She was kind of like, well, I see you guys walking out the door. Why can't I walk out the door? Just like, this. Eye in the door. Like, I don't understand. But she doesn't. Yeah, she does not try to bolt when we open the door, which is nice. So.

[Nicole Byers]

Okay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think she's comfortable.

[Nicole Byers]

Or. What is that. Where. What did Belle from Beauty and the Beast have?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, Stockholm syndrome.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah, she might. She might have Stockholm syndrome. Or she's like, I don't know. This. This was better here, I guess, because.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I love my captors. I love it.

[Nicole Byers]

I love it. I love it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, but she's so cute, and she's mine.

[Nicole Byers]

What is her name now?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sesame.

[Nicole Byers]

Sesame. Yeah. I like Sesame. Yeah. I didn't know that you had finally landed on a name that was the working name.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think that's. That's. I haven't thought of a better name since we came up with Sesame. So I think that's.

[Nicole Byers]

That probably it. What was the name I came up with? Sally Woodward or something like that?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, yeah, Like Karen. Karen Johnson. It's like, you're like. It should be a normal name.

[Nicole Byers]

I just think it'd be really funny. Well, I guess you don't take a cat to a dog park. But I just like, in a dog park. The like, being like, Jamal, like, Jamal Simmons. Like, I think that's. Do I know a Jamal Simmons?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't.

[Nicole Byers]

I think it's Jamal Sims. Okay. It's Jamal Sims. That's who I was thinking of. Said a name adjacent to him.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. No, that is funny.

[Nicole Byers]

She didn't have, like, a collar or anything, so, like, she had a name.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Nothing she was. She was Jack. She was. She was of the world.

[Nicole Byers]

That's so funny. When Charlie. John Milhiser, my old roommate, when we found. Or when someone found him and brought Charlie to us. His name was Corn Cob. And I'm all about honoring an animal's life before. Before they came to me. But I was like, john, we have to change that name. We cannot call an animal Corn Cob.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No.

[Nicole Byers]

And then John was like, charlie. And I was like, charlie's a really good name. I don't think so.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I like it.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't know. I think it's like a really basic animal name.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

I think if you gathered a hundred dogs, there'd be at least 60 named Charlie.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, I don't know if I've met another Charlie, though.

[Nicole Byers]

Really?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Maybe I. No, I don't think I have. Sounds like a kid name.

[Nicole Byers]

Maybe that's what I'm thinking about. Children. Children. I feel like this is funny because I. Like, before I said that sentence, I was like, everyone's animals named Charlie. I cannot think of a single other person who has an animal named Charlie.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I can't either.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't know. I just feel like such a basic name, like, Clyde is such a fun name for an animal. Clyde.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They feel like they're in the same category.

[Nicole Byers]

No.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Clyde and Charlie.

[Nicole Byers]

It's like, no.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's either a child or old man's name. They both.

[Nicole Byers]

They feel like you think Charlie's an old man's name.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Clyde is for sure.

[Nicole Byers]

Clyde is.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, old man would be Charles.

[Nicole Byers]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Charlie to me is like a young white. Like, that's our little girl. Charlie. And Charlie's like, shall we check my name? She's a gremlin.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, my God.

[Nicole Byers]

Who shake my neck.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Foaming at the mouth. Why is Charlie like that? Oh, no.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't know. I don't know why she's like that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It was a little Charlie and chocolate factory.

[Nicole Byers]

Oh, yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

He took over a whole factory.

[Nicole Byers]

Does Charlie take over the factory?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think so. After all those kids die, that's a.

[Nicole Byers]

Stain on his legacy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I know. Now that's. I mean, that feels like a scam. Willy Wonka's like, now, you gotta deal with this.

[Nicole Byers]

This is your factory. Is there a sequel to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't think so. Was there a sequel?

[Host/Announcer]

There's a sequel book. It's Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator. And it's what happens after they break the glass ceiling of the factory and keep going.

[Nicole Byers]

Whoa. I'm so surprised.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That hasn't been made into a movie. They keep remaking the first one over and over again.

[Nicole Byers]

I think it's because nobody likes new things. Or rather the industry feels like people just want a rehashing of old things as opposed to, like new things. You know, it's really okay. We have to take a break.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh great.

[Nicole Byers]

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[Sasheer Zamata]

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[Nicole Byers]

Company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by.

[Sasheer Zamata]

The Bancorp Bank NA or Stride Bank.

[Nicole Byers]

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[Sasheer Zamata]

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[Nicole Byers]

But we're back.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byers]

We're still on Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Because like, okay, Hollywood does a weird thing where they don't allow the consumer to tell them what they want.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

They go, we're gonna keep remaking things. And we go, please stop. And then like something like sinners comes out and it does so well. And then they're like, that's crazy. We don't know why that happened.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I know.

[Nicole Byers]

We don't want more of that. We're gonna give you more. Regurgitation.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Like with girls. Trip came out. They were like an anomaly. And then like bridesmaids did. So it's so strange.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Well, I feel like the common denominator with that is like, it's people of color or women.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And they're like, that must have been a fluke. Like Waiting to Exhale was so, so successful.

[Nicole Byers]

Let's Adapt more Terry McMillan book.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. They weren't like, maybe we should have more black female leads. Like, like every so often they did, but they weren't like, wow, we need to take this as an example. Like, people will watch these things and.

[Nicole Byers]

It'S really confusing to me. And okay. I just watched Tron. Tron Aries 1. I'm a 9 inch nail head girl. I like them.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Amazing.

[Nicole Byers]

I said Nine Inch Nail head. Nine Inch Nail. They're the Nine Inch Nails.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Nine Inch.

[Nicole Byers]

I think the lead man's name's Trent.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Trent Reznor. Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Oh, I thought it was Razor. I'm really glad I didn't say that out loud.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I mean, I can see why you think it's raising.

[Nicole Byers]

Right. I'm a nine Inch nail. My name's Trent. Razor. I don't even know what he sounds like, but okay. Tron. Ares. And I said last night to that nice man. I was like, I want to watch all of the Tron movies. And he was like, there's just two other ones.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's so funny.

[Nicole Byers]

Then I said, there isn't a whole franchise. He said, no. And I said, what are you talking about? That he had to look it up also.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like, didn't the other Trons flop? Or like, were they not like.

[Nicole Byers]

Well, One is from 1982. That's the original Tron.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Uh huh.

[Nicole Byers]

And I believe the second Tron came out in 2010. Tron legacy. I know this cause I just looked it up.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wow.

[Nicole Byers]

And honestly, huge gaps. Yeah, huge gaps. And then 2010, and then 2025, another huge gap.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's a huge gap for sure.

[Nicole Byers]

And they really set it up for a Sequel. But I just feel like, okay, when you're acting with, like, cgi, this is a note for the director.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't know. I don't know who the director was. I think his name is Joaquin something. It was a J, but I was like, I think we're not saying the J part. I think when you haven't decided what things are going to be imposed, you gotta get all the levels. You gotta be like, that thing in the sky is really small. That thing in the sky is really medium. That thing in the sky is big and scary.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Because some of the reactions, I was like, I don't know. That was a medium thing in the sky.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That is really hard, like, to. Yeah. Just tell an actor this. Something really scary is happening in front of you, react. But, like, they can't see it and you don't know what it is until.

[Nicole Byers]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And they're just, like, guessing.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. There was one day when I was shooting Agatha where we had, like, a blue screen set up and all the actors were shooting this individually. And they'd be like, okay, now look at Ally and smile. And I, like, pretend Allie's next to me and be like. I'm like, well, I don't know what she's doing.

[Nicole Byers]

It's weird.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We're just guessing. It's really weird. I mean, I like.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I do prefer when things are practical, which, like.

[Nicole Byers]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

If it's space or, like, explosions. You can't always do that. Of course. But I would like things to go back to, like, let's have it in the room.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah. It would be nice. Because I barely like composite photos. Yeah. Where they're like, they're there. Smile. And I'm like, they're not. They're not. And I know it. I don't like it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't like this.

[Nicole Byers]

It's not even acting. It's just smiling for a poster that I simply don't like. Yeah. But okay, here's the thing. I'm back to Tron.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Nicole Byers]

I would like a sequel. I don't think they're gonna do a sequel for, like, another 10, 15 years. Because that seems to be the trajectory.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And. Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

And it, like, really upsets me because I love Tron.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But then in 10, 15 years, we're like, oh, my God, Tron's back.

[Nicole Byers]

Oh, my God, you're right.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You know, that is.

[Nicole Byers]

I gotta say, the vibes. That Trent, man, he knows what he's doing with the music. I think it would be huge.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think so. I think he has a Chance.

[Nicole Byers]

There's so much I don't know about.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Such as Nine Inch Nails. Oh, right, right, right, right. I don't, I don't. I wasn't a Nine Inch Nails head. I'm aware of them. And I know that one song that you sent me.

[Nicole Byers]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Closer. Closer. But I think I would like them. They seem up my alley.

[Nicole Byers]

I really like them. I feel like they're just like vibes and I'm just like, oh, wait, I worked out. I listened to the whole Tron Aries soundtrack.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wow.

[Nicole Byers]

I had a nice time. And then I was like, well, I gotta get on the treadmill now. So then I started listening to just like their Best of the Apple music. Compilate. Compel. Compilate Compels compilation. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Playlist.

[Nicole Byers]

Playlist. Yeah. And I was having a great time. I was just like, I was walking on the treadmill, like shaking my butt. I was having such a good time.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Oh, my God.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh my God. I'm watching the Daniel Craig, James Bond movies right now. Have you seen those?

[Nicole Byers]

No.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They're really good. I. My girlfriend was like, how did you miss this? Because you love action movies. And I was like, I guess it. James Bond as a franchise has felt like a boy thing or like just watching one man do stuff.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I was like, no, no, I'm not really sure. But these movies are crazy. Oh, I love it. Every, like the, every movie starts, at least in the Dana Craig ones. It's like a 14 million dollar stunt. It's like a helicopter is fighting with a plane and then they jump on a boat and it goes under. It's like so much stuff.

[Nicole Byers]

You.

[Sasheer Zamata]

All the transportation, literally, like trains, planes, automobiles. It's every piece of transportation. And it's crazy. I'm like screaming.

[Nicole Byers]

I'm like, oh my God, we just started.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And every movie. I'm like, he needs to be fired. He is so bad at his job.

[Nicole Byers]

Really.

[Sasheer Zamata]

He's good at his job, but he is killing people without asking them questions. He is fudgeing everybody. He's just a mess. And they're like, James is at it again. I'm like, he's always at it. He's never going to change. No matter how many times you punish him, he's going to mess it up.

[Nicole Byers]

That's so funny. I've never watched a single one.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You should.

[Nicole Byers]

And I think the reasoning is he's British.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

And then they're set. They're set in London or they said all over the world. All over the world.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But they're like main agencies in London. Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Sometimes the British accent and like, this is not me being really mean to our people, our friends over the sea. Sometimes I get tired of that accent a little bit.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I. I agree with you. I have to put subtitles on.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And my girlfriend makes fun of me too, because she's like, they are speaking English. And I'm like, But I have no idea what they're saying.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah. Sometimes the words run together in a way that I'm like, I don't know. You're gonna have to repeat that one for me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Pierce Brosnan.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Was.

[Nicole Byers]

Was he one?

[Sasheer Zamata]

He was one.

[Nicole Byers]

And then Sean Connery.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byers]

Oh, I know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So you do know.

[Nicole Byers]

I know so much about it. Yeah. Never seen it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Well, and then those are the three, right? Yeah. And now they keep teasing that, like, a fourth one will appear, will rise.

[Host/Announcer]

There's been a bunch. But right now we're waiting to hear who the newest one is gonna be. Daniel Craig.

[Nicole Byers]

Interesting. I wonder who it'll be.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I wonder who will be. I feel like Idris Elba was like, part of the conversation for so long, which I think actually people agree. They'd be like, honestly, if James Bond is not white, it can be Idris Elba. Like, people are willing to accept that.

[Nicole Byers]

That's really funny that you get so popular that people are like, the blackness is fine.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'll accept it.

[Nicole Byers]

Whatever. He's just tan. So Idris Elba is in an Apple TV show that's on season two.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Nicole Byers]

Because Apple TV be moving in darkness, they be moving at night. I never know what's going on over Apple tv, but I like it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They have so many shows.

[Nicole Byers]

They're doing a lot of fun shit where they are. I liked the first couple episodes of Purpose, but Hijack, okay, so the first season, he's on a six hour flight that gets what? Hijacked. It's called Hijacked.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, my goodness.

[Nicole Byers]

And then we got six hours to solve it. It gets solved because he comes back for season two and now he's on a train. I said, wow, transportation. And I am so excited to watch it. I love Idris Elba.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, me too.

[Nicole Byers]

My goodness. He's got such a nice voice and such a nice face.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't know what it's about other than hijackings. I don't know what he does. I know he's got a family and his wife was like, hey, he'll be okay, or something like that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't know.

[Nicole Byers]

She says something I wasn't really paying attention to her. I was like, get back to. Get back to him.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's great.

[Nicole Byers]

Last night, I watched Van Helsing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay. I don't know what this is.

[Nicole Byers]

So I knew that Van Helsing was a man who hunted vampires, but this movie was crazy. They. So It's a very 2004 movie. It stars Hugh Jackman. For some reason, in the 2000s, everyone was like, steampunk. Yes. And this is very steampunky. And Hugh Jackman plays Van Helsing, this vampire hunter, and he's bad at it, I gotta say. He's. He's got, like, this crossbow thing that shoots stakes. He be staking these bitches, and they don't die, but then suddenly he'll stake one and they'll die. And I'm like, what was different about that stake?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't. Did. Is it the heart? Is it the location? I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

The rules need to be clear.

[Nicole Byers]

Frankenstein is in it. What? I know. And get this. I'm not even done. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde is also in this.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay? So this feels like a fairy tale world.

[Nicole Byers]

Yes. And there's a bunch. Okay. So he goes to, like, confess at one point, and then they were like, ah, it's Van Helsing again. We know you've sinned. And he's like, come on in. And then there's all of the religions with, like. Like, in a laboratory. Like, all of the religions are, like, cooking things up to fight demons.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wild.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't know. It was very strange.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Then he has to go to Transylvania, and you want to. You want to know who's in Transylvania?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Dracula.

[Nicole Byers]

Kate Beckinsale.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh. Why is she there?

[Nicole Byers]

I don't. She's Transylvanian, okay. With coiffed hair that's never, ever undone.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Is she a vampire?

[Nicole Byers]

No. She just lives in Transylvania, and she's trying to protect her other Transylvanians from Dracula, who is in Transylvania, who was hanging out with Frankenstein's maker. And he's trying to get the codes of what the maker was doing to make Frankenstein, to make life, because he wants to make a bunch of vampire babies that he's birthing out of sex. Like the Matrix.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sounds like fanfiction.

[Nicole Byers]

It felt like fan fiction. Huh? And then. Kate Beckinsale. I'm all for having, like, women be in action movies and, like, get hit. They treat her like a rag doll. They throw her against rocks and the pavement and buildings. And then she gets up and she's like. Like, she's fine.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's really funny.

[Nicole Byers]

The only injury she had was just, like, a little bit of blood on her mouth, and I was like, what? Well, it was wild.

[Sasheer Zamata]

My goodness.

[Nicole Byers]

Her accent. I don't know if it's accurate.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Well, I have no idea how Transylvanians talk.

[Nicole Byers]

Me either. But I'm sure it's not like her. I'm a hundred. I didn't do any research, but I said, that's wrong.

[Sasheer Zamata]

My goodness.

[Nicole Byers]

And she's wearing a corset that cinches her so tiny. I was like, so they're bopping her around and she can't breathe. I hope she got paid. Well.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I hope so, too. Did she have her own franchise? Underworld? Is that a thing?

[Nicole Byers]

I believe so.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I didn't see any of those movies.

[Nicole Byers]

I haven't seen those either. I think so.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They did well, I think.

[Nicole Byers]

Is it Underworld?

[Host/Announcer]

Yes. Yeah. Underworld.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

And how many movies are there?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I feel like there's a video game, too.

[Nicole Byers]

Maybe it's based on a video game.

[Host/Announcer]

She played in four of the five films.

[Nicole Byers]

Whoa, that's great. That's nice. That means on that second movie, she probably got to renegotiate to something delicious.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I sure hope so. We're rooting for her.

[Nicole Byers]

We're rooting for Kate Beckinsale. She hasn't been in a movie in years. And I'm like, I'm rooting for you, girl.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I feel like she's doing stuff. I feel like she's, like, actively.

[Nicole Byers]

I. Yeah. I feel like I've, like, seen her out and about. And by seeing, I mean, like, opened Instagram and seen her.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, exactly.

[Nicole Byers]

She's beautiful in this movie. My God. And Frankenstein is crazy. It was one of the craziest movies I've ever seen. And Van Helsing, much like James Wan, very bad at his job. It was, like, actually crazy how bad he was. And then, oh, there was also werewolves in it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's too much. That's too much to keep track of.

[Nicole Byers]

It was a lot.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Have you seen the Blade movies? Oh, my God. People really like Blade two more than Blade one.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't think I've seen Blade two.

[Nicole Byers]

Blade one is incredible. Oh, my God. And then the woman who's, like, his kind of sidekick, I'm like, where is she? Where'd she go?

[Sasheer Zamata]

She was great. She was in stuff later.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't think so. And she's not in Blade too. Yeah, Sana Lathan is in it. I don't say her name righthan. Lathan. Yeah, she's great in it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Great.

[Nicole Byers]

Her hair was always Quaffed.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's great.

[Nicole Byers]

Oh, my God.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I brought a personal.

[Nicole Byers]

She probably did. It looks so good. Oh, my God. I do love an action movie.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I love an action movie.

[Nicole Byers]

And that's why I really wanted to watch Van Helsing. And we were gonna watch the trailer. And I said, no, I love Hugh Jackman. We should have watched the trailer. I think I would have made a different choice. It was a really wild movie. I couldn't believe it. And then the man who directed it had also directed the Mummy. And I love the Mummy. Yeah, The Mummy is a pretty coherent movie.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. This one I was like, too much going on.

[Nicole Byers]

What are we doing? It was a lot. Yeah. And you know what's really interesting?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't. Please tell me.

[Nicole Byers]

Okay, good. So they did. They rebooted the Mummy with a leap from planes. Mission Impossible, Tom Cruise.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And they were gonna do the Mummy with Tom Cruise.

[Nicole Byers]

I'm 100% sure.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Was it the same mummy 2017?

[Nicole Byers]

Yes, it was.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It was the same Mummy movie.

[Nicole Byers]

Like, it was like, oh, it wasn't like the Brendan Fraser mummy. It was they. So Universal owns, like, the Mummy, Frankenstein, Werewolves, like marry Somebody. And somebody else wrote Shelley. Yeah. And then a man wrote the books. And Universal owns those properties. So they were trying to make their own, like, monster universe.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Got it.

[Nicole Byers]

And they were gonna start with the Mummy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

And go so hot. And I was like, y' all should have looked at Van Helsing again and said, we gotta actually have a game plan if we're gonna do this. Because it was, dare I say, a little muddied.

[Sasheer Zamata]

A muddied mummy.

[Nicole Byers]

A muddied mummy. But I will say the performances were really fun.

[Sasheer Zamata]

All right. Nice.

[Nicole Byers]

Should we take a break?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Let's take a break.

[Nicole Byers]

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[Sasheer Zamata]

Doable.

[Nicole Byers]

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[Sasheer Zamata]

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[Nicole Byers]

We're back. We're back. I like this sweatshirt. This is Farm Rio, right?

[Sasheer Zamata]

It is Farm Rio.

[Nicole Byers]

Can I criticize Farm Rio?

[Sasheer Zamata]

If you want.

[Nicole Byers]

I feel like they used to make some really fun stuff and I don't know if the stuff is fun anymore.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think I've gotten some fun stuff recently, but I also don't. I haven't bought a bunch of stuff. I used to buy so much stuff from them but I have slowed down on buying period so I don't know what they got going on.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't know. I just feel like last time I looked there weren't like fun sweatshirts and stuff. It was a lot more structured pieces. That's all.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Dang. Sorry girl.

[Nicole Byers]

It's okay. I shouldn't be buying things anyway. I said 2016. I'm not buying anything new. I have bought so many new things.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh no, wait a minute. 2016? What did I say I think he's a 2016.

[Nicole Byers]

What year is it?

[Sasheer Zamata]

2026.

[Nicole Byers]

You.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You went back 10 years?

[Nicole Byers]

2026. It's crazy that we're in 2026.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It is. Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

We're in the damn future.

[Sasheer Zamata]

This is the damn future. Doesn't feel like it, though.

[Nicole Byers]

It's bad.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

No flying cars, nothing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Not the future I want.

[Nicole Byers]

It's not the future I want. I really do wish we had, like, at least hovering cars. Wouldn't that be fun?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm scared of that, though, because I just feel like people would crash more.

[Nicole Byers]

You're right.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like, because also, like, do we need air roads? Like, how. What's gonna dictate people, like, flying? Like, in a way that's structured as opposed to, like, everyone's just flying and good luck.

[Nicole Byers]

Like, no, you're right. Yesterday, when I was coming home from the airport, I got in the car. This man was nice. I asked him to turn on music. He said, sure. And then I closed my eyes, and then he took off in a way that I was like, we're still in the airport. I don't know how you're going this fast. And then he slammed on the brakes so hard. You know me. If I'm in the backseat, I'm not wearing a seatbelt. Those are my rules. And I flew into the passenger seat, and it had one of those hard things on the back. So, like, my whole body slammed into it with my knees going first, and it hurt so bad.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh.

[Nicole Byers]

And then this man, before he said sorry to me, rolled down the window, looked at the man he almost hit and went, this is my lane. What are you doing? And the guy goes, I'm really sorry. He goes, you should be my lane. Rolled up the window and to. And I was like, do I get out of this car? But then I was like, but if I get out, I have to wait for another Uber, which is going to chance my life. And do you think I put on a seatbelt? No. And he gets to. You know how you get off the highway? And my house is, like, pretty quickly off the highway. So he had a turn signal on, blew past that, right? And then just stayed in an active lane and went, was that where it was? And I was like, yes, but you could keep going and make another ride eventually. And he went, oh, are you sure? And I was like, yeah, move the car. And he was like, oh, okay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, my God.

[Nicole Byers]

And then we turn up my street. And then he goes, hey, do you have a dog? And I was like, yes. And he was like, here Take. And then as he's driving, fully turns and looks into his, like, thing in the middle.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

And I was like, oh, no, I'm okay, I'm okay. And then he was like, no, here's a car. And I was like, I don't want anything from you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What was he trying to give you?

[Nicole Byers]

I don't know, because I did not want it. If you drive like this, you're going to kill my dog. There's just no way you're going to be nice to my animal.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, 100%.

[Nicole Byers]

This human you almost killed twice. And then we, like get to the house and he's like, are you sure you don't want it? I was like, I don't want anything from you. And he was like, well, if you need another ride to the airport. I said, I will not call you never again. And he goes, is something wrong? I said, I don't want this. I don't want this.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Bad. It was a bad trip.

[Nicole Byers]

I was like, do you not remember? You yelled at a man. I slammed into your seat. You almost killed me again. You almost killed me twice.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Did you leave a five star review?

[Nicole Byers]

Sure did. And I tipped him. He knows where I live.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's true.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't want him slamming down the street trying to come to me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. I only put a bad review, which is an honest review for Uber driver, because he was legit driving on the wrong side of the road.

[Nicole Byers]

I was like, oh, no.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think he was like, sleepy. Oh, no. And also like, maybe didn't know the rules of the road. It was like we were truly like on the left side. And I was like, oh, you gotta go to the other side of the road. And he's like, oh, oh, okay.

[Nicole Byers]

Oh, okay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And I was like, I gotta. I have to tell Uber. Like, I can't let this person just be out in the world.

[Nicole Byers]

Wait, was that here or it was like out of the country?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I feel like it was here. I don't know if it was la, but was definitely in the States. And I was like, yeah, I don't think he knows the rules of the road. And I think he was also trying to, like, almost falling asleep. And Uber was like, we'll take care of it.

[Nicole Byers]

Oh, my God. When I was in Alpharetta, Georgia, I thought I was going to Atlanta. Was not in Atlanta. I was in Alpharetta. I got an Uber and this man, I think had just sprayed cologne all over himself in the car. And the music was good. And I was like, ooh, this is good music. And Then I looked in the. Like, the dashboard. This man was just watching music videos while he was driving. And I was like, I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

If this is safe.

[Nicole Byers]

And there was times where he'd be looking like the car was moving, and he'd be like, yeah, dancing along with them. And I didn't know how to be like, sir, please, please don't kill me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, it's crazy.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't, like. I don't like letting other people drive me around. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Because not everyone's safe.

[Nicole Byers]

No, I know I'm safe. Well, safe for me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Maybe we need to go back to taxis. I never. I have never felt unsafe in a yellow taxi.

[Nicole Byers]

I have. But very, very, very rarely. Rarely. It'll be like, whoa, this taxi is pretty rickety. Ooh wee. I don't know. These back tires might be leaving. Yeah, there's that. Sometimes they're, like, a little too aggressive, but, like. Yeah, I've never been like, oh, you're on the wrong side of the road. Or like you almost slammed into somebody, rolled down the window and said, this is my way.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Why don't you wear a seatbelt in the back seat?

[Nicole Byers]

She's. No need.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's not correct.

[Nicole Byers]

I really don't think there's a need. I think things will happen in front first.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You just told a story where you ran into the backseat and hurt your knees. That wasn't nothing.

[Nicole Byers]

No, but if I was wearing a seatbelt, my neck would probably have marks on it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, your neck would probably have marks on it. Dang.

[Nicole Byers]

I would probably be hurt even more if I was wearing something constricting me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, that's not true.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't know. I just feel like in the backseat, it's not necessary. And then those cars where it beeps when you have something in the backseat that's unnecessary. Grow up.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Trust me, you can't be trusted. Clearly, you won't wear a seatbelt.

[Nicole Byers]

No, you're right. And every time that nice man in my life we get in an Uber, he always puts a seatbelt in the back. And I go, okay, safety guy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, he wants to be saved.

[Nicole Byers]

I'm like, oh, my God. He, like, shaved his so much. And right now, in this moment, I'm like, oh, that's. That might be mean.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I mean, he. He's doing it right. He should be wearing. Everyone should be wearing a seat belt. Cars are dangerous, and even if the car you're in isn't causing an accident, someone could hit you behind and then you fly forward or.

[Nicole Byers]

I guess I just don't see that for me. Also, I'll just slam into the seat in front of me. There's no way I'm sliding between the seats.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sure, but slamming into the seat in front of you isn't great either.

[Nicole Byers]

I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I just feel like we have a friend who. Her cab got in an accident in New York, and she had to, like, go to physical therapy for a year after.

[Nicole Byers]

This is my friend, too, Tessa. Oh. Oh. I did know that she, like, dealt.

[Sasheer Zamata]

With, like, a lot of pain after.

[Nicole Byers]

Was she wearing a seatbelt?

[Sasheer Zamata]

No. Oh. But now she does.

[Nicole Byers]

And this is supposed to be a lesson for me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It should be.

[Nicole Byers]

Don't you hate that when you have a lesson for someone and they're like, no, I'm not gonna take it, because that's what's happening right now. All right? No one will ever make me wear my seatbelt in the back. I'll have to fly through the windshield.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But what do you not like about it?

[Nicole Byers]

I don't like being constrained in the back seat because there's a whole bench.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And are you laying fully down on the whole bench?

[Nicole Byers]

No, but what if I want to slide to the other side?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay. Take the seatbelt off and you slide.

[Nicole Byers]

That's a whole to do as.

[Sasheer Zamata]

All right.

[Nicole Byers]

It's just not for me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Nicole Byers]

And I'm sure there's things that aren't for you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Try me.

[Nicole Byers]

What's the safety thing?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't know.

[Nicole Byers]

Okay. These shoes, something could impale them.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They're my shoes, basically have a seat belt on it. I am strapped in. I am the most secure in these shoes ever.

[Nicole Byers]

Okay. Touche. I don't know. I don't really know any more safety things to test you on because I'm not a safety girl.

[Sasheer Zamata]

This is true. You wouldn't know. You wouldn't know. You don't do it yourself.

[Nicole Byers]

Wow. You know what I don't like on airplanes where they have, like, this. The car seat belts now?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. That is weird.

[Nicole Byers]

Why?

[Sasheer Zamata]

In case of rough air turbulence.

[Nicole Byers]

But then others just have the lap belt.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think it's for when you lay down, so you have something, like, secure on your body. Oh, that's what I assume. Because that's the only difference between those seats and those seats in the back that have just a lap belt.

[Nicole Byers]

Oh, I see.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think it's for when you lay fully reclined. You have, like.

[Nicole Byers]

That's really funny, because that's when I undo it. But I always keep my lap belt on. Okay, good, because I was like, well, I mean, if we do hit a pocket of air, I don't want to be airborne to the ceiling.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Exactly.

[Nicole Byers]

That doesn't seem like fun. That would be humiliating.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Embarrassing.

[Nicole Byers]

I'm the only one on the ceiling. Everyone's looking at me like, is this her first time on a plane? She's on the ceiling. Yeah. I don't want that. Yeah. I'm not trying to get injured in the sky.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay, well, that's good.

[Nicole Byers]

Only on land, where it's more likely. All right. Should we answer questions and queries? I think I'm qualified. Yeah.

[Host/Announcer]

Okay. This one is called how to Stop Attracting Toxic Friends.

[Nicole Byers]

Oh, hi.

[Host/Announcer]

Nicole and Sasheer. Love the podcast. I took your advice on doing a hobby to make friends. I joined a 200 hour yoga teacher training without or with about 20 other women. I made friends with two of them, D and J, and they seemed nice. Over the course of two years, I said I set D up with my partner's friend and she ghosted me shortly after. We later found out she yelled at him daily and told him she hated me because I forgot her birthday. Jay has been casually rude and cruel on more than one occasion. I called out Dee's behavior over text, but she never responded. B still reaches out, but never makes plans, and I rarely answer. I wonder. I think they meant D. D still reaches out but never makes plans, and I rarely answer. I wonder if it's my fault attracted these two toxic people out of a large group. How do I stop this pattern and spot unhealthy people before they infiltrate my life? Thanks so much.

[Nicole Byers]

Boy, that's tough. Yeah. Because I've met people and you've been with me on several of these occasions where I'm like, I love this person. And then on the next hang, I'm like, whoa, this person's nuts. This person's out of their gourd. My God. Oh, it is. I don't think it's this person that is attracting toxic people. I think toxic people are enthralling at first.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Because a lot of toxic people are narcissists, and narcissists turn on the charm in the beginning and then let their real selves be known later.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Maybe my advice is, like, don't invest too much in people at first. Like, maybe be like, this is fun. And if you like someone, just, like, maybe curate some get togethers. Like a bunch of get together so you can, like, really get to know those people. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Date them first.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like, yeah. Actually have a few hangs and be like, okay. This feels good. If red flags start popping up, then you could be like, okay, well, I have to invite them this weekend. Or slowing down on the hangs.

[Nicole Byers]

And I think, what was it, a 200 person yoga thing?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think that's what they said.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah. 200 hour.

[Nicole Byers]

Oh, 200 hours.

[Sasheer Zamata]

20, maybe 20 girls, 20 people.

[Nicole Byers]

200 hour. I think if this person were to do something like this over again, I think maybe curate a hang with everybody at first and, like, mingle with different people to see, like, who you like. Maybe do like, curate like two or three of them and then. And then pick your winners. It's like, I think if you start with a bigger. Because kind of like that's what improv was. Yeah. For me, because I would have class with these people and then I would do like indie shows, and then I would just like kind of mix and match people until I was like, oh, this person sticks. And then I found you. And I was like, I don't need another person. Turn into a demon.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, that is true.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

After class we'd be like, let's all get drinks. I mean, 20 is a lot of people, but, you know, if you just have like an open invitation, like, whoever wants to go hang, let's do it. And like, that is easy. And hopefully outside of that class environment, you can be like, actually, I like these qualities.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. And maybe pay attention to what qualities you're attracted to. Like, if it's like, man, I love how she just, like, tells it like it is. Well, maybe that's gonna be like, too much later. Or like, yeah, maybe just like, keep. Be aware of what things seem exciting and think like, will, I love that Later.

[Nicole Byers]

I think you're onto something. I think before the hangs, you should make a list of qualities you're looking for in friends. So it's in your mind that it's like, I'm looking for someone who asks questions about my life. I'm looking for somebody who is in. In a. In a relationship as well. So, like, maybe we could go on double dates or whatever. I'm looking for someone with no kids. I love that you can just like, weed out people. Yeah. I don't think we're making lists enough.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I love making a list.

[Nicole Byers]

I love making a list and checking it twice. I'm Santa. Imagine I was Santa and I just never told you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'd be like, that's so rude. All this time, you wouldn't tell me.

[Nicole Byers]

But would you hold my secret?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes, I would.

[Nicole Byers]

You would? I think you would too.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. No one would Believe me, like Nicole Santa.

[Nicole Byers]

Okay, Nicole.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Have you ever seen her on Christmas? Where am I on Christmas? Where is she?

[Nicole Byers]

Who knows?

[Sasheer Zamata]

In the sky.

[Nicole Byers]

I'm in the sky. Let's do another one. Okay.

[Host/Announcer]

This is from M. Hi, Nicole. Hi, Sashir. I'm a late diagnosed, neurodivergent, mocha hazelnut woman. I served my time in the military hoping it would build my confidence and make me unshakable, but that wasn't my experience. I wanted to ask you both how you deal with bullies, critical people, and how you clear their musty energy. How do you show up in the world with courage and fearlessness in your self image and voice, even after difficult or painful experiences? Thank you. I admire you lovely gals. I'm enjoying the podcast so freaking much and I appreciate your humor and empathy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think it just takes practice and it's an ongoing journey. Yes, I. There are probably people who are like, I'm unflappable. You can't bother me. I don't give a what people say about me. But that's rare and hard. I think a lot of people are affected by what people say, are affected by bullies. Can't help but be critical. Like take, like hear criticism and also be self critical. Yeah. But I do think, like, the more conscious you are of it being like, oh, you know what? This is a negative thought. I don't need like, that. Just being aware of it is also like on the journey to eventually having just less negative thoughts or less criticisms, like playing in your head or like, yeah, it just takes practice and. And actually being aware, like, oh, you know what? I don't need that.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah, I dress strangely sometimes to other people and I pick and choose the days. I'm okay with knowing that somebody might say something mean to me. I just kind of like when I pick out something, I look in the mirror and I go, well, that's a little wild. I go, am I okay with maybe somebody saying something mean or am I not? And if I'm not, I will change it to something still a little strange, but like more normal. And for the most part, I don't really mind, like, if people have criticisms, like on my comedy because I'm not for everybody or they don't like how I look. That's not really for everybody. I like how I look. But I will say I've been online bullied about lotion recently. I won't stop talking about this. I said I didn't use lotion on my whole body. Now I do. I'm. I Think two months on lotion and it's been really great. My skin has actively changed. And it was a note. Maybe I should have I needed earlier. And people, they keep calling me ashy butt. They're like, she don't use a washcloth either. And I'm like, but I do.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. That's not implied.

[Nicole Byers]

And I don't know how to turn off those notifications, so I don't see it all the time. But I was like. I, like, was. I was on Instagram and I was like, reading some of the comments and then I was like, wait, I don't need to defend myself. I know I use a washcloth. I know I was very ashy for a while. My butt was never ashy. My butt always looked good. It was fine. But then I was like, it's crazy that, like, I'm in, like, holding so much with this. So I was like, I guess if you want to read them, read them, but, like, maybe don't. And then just kind of like, I think owning that, you know, your truth is very powerful.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

To be like, I know what I do. That's okay. And I know I'm, like, complaining about being online bullied, but, like, in. At the end of the day, I'm not, like, up at night about it. I'll just complain about it for, like, maybe 30 minutes today.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

And then I'll just, like, move on.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think also it's much easier to remember all the bad things people are saying than the good things. And speaking of lists, I've. I don't do it all the time, but some. If I get, like, a really nice compliment or a really nice, like, thing that someone said to me, I'll try to write it down. Oh, and then, like, if I'm feeling, like, bad, look at it and be like, oh, so and so said this about me. Or like, I got a comment about my performance this time or whatever. Just like, to remind myself, like, oh, yeah, people do say nice things about me and I'm okay.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah, I think that's really nice. Because we do tend to remember the negative.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

And we gotta flip, flop that around.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Flip flop that around and remember the positive. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Solved.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Should we do one more or are we. Let's do one more. Yeah. Okay.

[Host/Announcer]

Hi, Nicole and Sasheer. I'm 32, female, and I started taking Lexapro, about 20 milligrams for my anxiety and depression in the fall of 2024. With Lexapro, PCOS and bodies changing in your 30s, I gained weight about 40 pounds. I'd rather have my mental health and be healthy even though I gained a few pounds. However, I constantly hear from my mother that I'm very fat now, I look terrible and she provides me with immigrant mom fat burning tips. Whenever I wear something that shows my figure, the comments start again. The worst part was she said this in front of my friends recently. She will watch me eat and force me to drink lemon water time to time. It's gotten to the point that I don't feel comfortable eating around her or wearing form fitting clothes. My boyfriend mentioned that he felt more attracted to me when I was less weight and he's not as extreme as my mom, but he's constantly asking if I went to the gym, what my diet is consisting of, what when my medication will decrease and calling me my cute chunky peanut. He's not as bad as my mom, but it still feels like shit when I have mentioned it to both of them. I don't feel great when they say these things. Sometimes they stop but then they start again. However they think if they say it, it will help and motivate me. I'm trying my best. I'm working out, I'm watching my diet, I'm going to therapy and I have a remote job until I have to travel for events. It's a stressful job but it's not enough for them. I've struggled with self confidence all my life and now I feel it more than ever. I look at myself in the mirror and think that maybe they're right. And so I know this isn't a friendship question but I enjoy hearing you both from making us laugh, talking about life, your stories. Thank you for always making me laugh while I'm working. It brings me a big smile. I got my sister into listening to you both.

[Nicole Byers]

That is tough. I think our friend does not sound like she wants to change her body right now. Yeah and I think that is fucking okay. I think gaining 40 pounds but being okay mentally is fine.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Huge way.

[Nicole Byers]

I think that's a really nice trade off. Yeah, weight is not the worst thing that can happen to you and to me is not a huge deal. Yeah, I think her partner, I think you really got to sit down that partner and say I don't like this. This is a non negotiable for me. If it continues we then have to actually talk about the longevity of this relationship because I cannot be harassed in a relationship like this. It's not nice and it's not kind and I assume that you loved me for me and it seems like my body has a little bit more weight, pun intended. Than, like, my personality and who I am as a person.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

So, like, that's a you problem, and it's not a me problem. So if we break up, it's because of you, and you can't get over this problem. I think with your mom, you can either have the same boundaries where you're like, I just simply won't speak to you anymore. But what I did with my grandpa was he would be like, you are fat. And I'd go, yes, I am. And he'd go, don't eat that. And I go, I won't. I just made him right. Because then he couldn't. He like, you can't say anything else if someone just goes, you're right, or you don't look good in that. I don't. What else are you gonna say if I'm just gonna start agreeing with you? And I think sometimes they would just, like, he would tucker himself out about saying mean things to me, and it stopped bothering me because I'd be like, yeah, I just know I'm in your right mode.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

And it's not fun, but it is a way to cope with that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I do it with my mom sometimes, too, where she'll, like, give a suggestion that I don't like or need or will use. I'll be like, thanks. You know, I go, oh, you know, that's a good idea. I'll look more. I'm looking to that. So, like, when this person's mom is giving, like, weight loss suggestions, they could be like, oh, okay, thanks for the tip. You know? Or, like. And just, like, you can ignore it. You don't actually. Yeah. You don't have to do it. You don't have to drink the lemon water. You don't have to, like, do it. You could just be like, oh, okay. Thanks for suggesting that. Because also, I mean, I don't know what.

[Nicole Byers]

Where.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like, where this person's family is from. I would imagine this mom, who is. Sounds like an immigrant, probably is doing it. They think they're being loving. They think that it's like, I want my daughter to have a good life. Then people have a good life. Or who knows, you know? Or. Or it's superficial, and they're just like, I just want my daughter to look good.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And so they're saying this because they think that's helpful. They don't realize how unhelpful that actually is. So, like. And it sounds like you've already had talks with her about this. So you could keep doing that, but I think that's just gonna stress you out more and, like, really exhaust you. It just. It's so much emotional labor to explain why this is a problem when you could just be like, okay, yeah. And, like, move on with your life, because there she's either gonna keep doing it or she'll get tired of it and be like, I guess I. She did accept my. My suggestion. All right. Job well done.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah. Cause my grandparents, they're from Barbados, so they are immigrants. Me explaining things to them has no effect.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Like, there's just not like a, oh, my goodness, we hurt your feelings. And. No, it's just, like, everybody I've met on my dad's side from Barbados who, like, lives here now, they don't have weight problems. I do. So, like, it would be like. It's one of those things where I think they felt like you were. There's something wrong with you, and we're not helping, but we're gonna fix it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

And we'll fix it just by talking at you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

And that's not gonna fix it. So.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

I just go, ah, yeah. Very big. Can't believe.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. And with your partner, I feel like that this person you can be. You can be real with. Yes. They should be able to understand what you're saying. And. And also, like, I don't. I would guess that the person who wrote in is expressing how they feel about their mom, but I'd be like, I can't take this from my mom and my partner.

[Nicole Byers]

Like, yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I cannot be surrounded by criticism like this. Like, I. You actually need to be on my team. And I'm aware I gained weight, but I don't want to feel like it's a problem every day or like. Or how ever often it is. Like, I like the way you can help me is actually support me.

[Nicole Byers]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And be happy that my mental health is improved.

[Nicole Byers]

But she did say she did talk to him. That's why I'm like, it's a him problem at this point.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Definitely.

[Nicole Byers]

And peace, like, gaining weight, but having mental health, that's a win. Being single and having peace, that's a win. So I. I. Because I really think if this person loved her for her, he'd be fine with weight gain, whatever. But I'm also like, if you have a preference and you don't want to be with somebody heavy, that's. That's you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

That's on you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Go find somebody. Like.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Like, it doesn't have to be a deal breaker, but it can.

[Nicole Byers]

It can be.

[Sasheer Zamata]

If this person really has a problem, like I. He just simply does not want to be with someone who's not thin. He should go live his life and find that person. And you also deserve to be like, have peace and not feel like your partner is adding to your stress.

[Nicole Byers]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byers]

Crazy, though. Crazy though. I would never break up with someone overweight. I would just be like, wow, they're not Winnie the Pooh. Who's cuter than Winnie the Pooh?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Winnie the Pooh's really cute.

[Nicole Byers]

Very few things, if you ask me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Very few things.

[Nicole Byers]

Very, very few things.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. So.

[Nicole Byers]

Yeah, break up with him. He. You get him out of here.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Well. Well.

[Nicole Byers]

That's it, Sasheer.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's it. Nicole.

[Nicole Byers]

You've been best friend.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I have.

[Nicole Byers]

We have. We have.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You've been best friends.

[Nicole Byers]

You've been best friends.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Goodbye. Bye.

[Nicole Byers]

Best Friends is a production of Headgum Studios.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Our producer is Ali Khan.

[Nicole Byers]

Our executive producer is Anya Konovskaya.

[Sasheer Zamata]

The show is edited, mixed and engineered by Richelle Chen.

[Nicole Byers]

Hi, I'm Drew Afualo.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And I'm Dason Afualo. And we host the Headgum podcast, Two Idiot Girls. Each episode, we're discussing plenty of topics.

[Nicole Byers]

That you would be giggling at at.

[Sasheer Zamata]

A sleepover with your weird cousins. We talk about all kinds of things, like weird dating, horror stories, maybe a really bad wedgie you had once, or.

[Nicole Byers]

Even a show you're loving and anything in between.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So you can listen to Two Idiot Girls on your favorite podcast app or watch full video episodes on YouTube.

[Nicole Byers]

New episodes will be posted every Tuesday.