Sasheer is a Daring Soul

Summary

Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata

Episode: Sasheer is a Daring Soul
Release Date: February 18, 2026
Podcast Network: Headgum

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Nicole and Sasheer dive into the realities of being sick, quirky travel dreams, dental mishaps, their love of fun, niche destinations, nostalgic sports memories, and honest advice on friendship and relationships. True to their signature, the episode is filled with laughter, random tangents, and candid reflection, exemplifying the power and hilarity of best friendship.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nicole’s Sickness & Dental Disasters

[02:01 – 10:13]

• Nicole recounts being sick and feeling frustrated since she hadn't done anything to “deserve” a cold.
  • “I was sick for the last few days and I hated it.” — Nicole [02:04]
  • Discuss the randomness of getting sick even when being careful, and LA's confusing weather.
• The two share dentist horror stories:
  • Sasheer shows Nicole an extracted tooth with a dental instrument left inside (!)
    • “That's the instrument… it was poking into my gum. Horrific stuff.” — Sasheer [06:47]
    • They discuss whether or not she should sue (“Maybe I’ll get my entertainment lawyer on the case.” — Sasheer [07:16])
  • Nicole talks about trying “holistic” dentists who still ultimately use pain-inducing picks:
    • “I was like, it hurts. Is there some other thing that can be done?” — Nicole [08:37]

2. Travel: Trains, Textures, and Unusual Destinations

[10:40 – 15:29]

• Both lament the pain of air travel and fantasize about snapping their fingers to travel.
• Sasheer wants to take the train to San Diego and stay in a hotel that matches her aesthetic cravings.
• Nicole consults an Instagram wishlist of quirky places:
  • Sandboarding in Colorado
  • Philadelphia Flower Show
  • A Neon Sign Museum in Ohio
  • Giant pencil sharpening festival in Minnesota
  • “I love dumb stuff. Fellowship. Community.” — Sasheer [14:39]
• They discuss making a shared Google Doc (or Notes app) for destination planning.

3. The Daring Soul — Wearing White

[11:50 – 12:15]

• Nicole dubs Sasheer “a very daring soul” because she frequently wears white and manages not to stain it, inspired by June Diane Raphael.
  • “She wears so much white and she’s never stained. That’s a woman.” — Nicole [12:13]

4. Button Collections & Internet Oversharing

[20:49 – 23:27]

• Nicole recounts an internet story where a woman is collecting a button each day of 2026, and refuses to explain why.
  • “You did kind of make it my business.” — Sasheer [21:24]
• They laugh about unusual Amazon reviews, including one where a woman slides down a hill in leggings:
  • “Here is me rolling and sliding down a mountain because I was too scared to get up. My leggings did not rip, not even a little bit…” — Nicole reading the review [22:00]

5. Roller Skating, Pandemic Nostalgia, and Being Prepared

[24:22 – 28:07]

• Both want to get back into roller skating:
  • Consider a roller-skating retreat; lament the difficulty of finding motivation to use gear.
• Reminisce about outdoorsy pandemic habits:
  • “It did feel like being a kid. I was constantly doing cartwheels in parks…” — Sasheer [27:22]
• Discuss the “transition period” of waking up and morning routines:
  • Nicole: “I do have a transitional period where I roll around and I’m awake…I like to just move side to side for a minute.” [28:19]

6. The Eternal Struggle with Time Management

[35:21 – 39:23]

• The stress of rushing and being late:
  • Nicole: “My cortisol goes up when I am running late and it does not make me feel good.” [35:21]
  • Sasheer admits she often snoozes until it’s too late and then scrambles.
• Both agree on needing more prep time, and resolve:
  • “In 2026, Let's try to get early.” — Nicole [38:42]
  • “Let's get early in here! Let's get it!” — Both, riffing on Black Eyed Peas lyrics [38:49]

7. Black Eyed Peas/Awkward Lyric Remixes

[39:11 – 42:04]

• Quick deep-dive into the release history and problematic original title of “Let’s Get It Started.”
• Ali (producer) provides fact-checking, explaining how the song was reworked for NBA promotion.

8. NBA vs. NFL: Company Values

[42:10 – 45:36]

• Nicole praises the NBA’s social consciousness and support for player expression, especially compared to the NFL:
  • “I just really like the NBA as a company. Doing really good things.” — Nicole [43:05]
• Discussion on NFL’s draft process being “slave trade”-adjacent and Jay-Z’s role in the Super Bowl halftime show.

9. Sports Memories & Gymnastics Trauma

[49:38 – 57:58]

• Both recount their experiences with sports:
  • Sasheer on basketball: “I was really good at boxing out because I got that ass.” [50:09]
  • Nicole was a volleyball setter and outside hitter, and wishes she had time to join a rec league.
  • Sasheer excelled in shot put, but chose not to practice.
• Childhood gym trauma: Sasheer quit gymnastics after a fat-shaming comment from another girl:
  • “I’ll never come back here. I wonder if it still exists... I’m at the combination Shrewsbury Gymnastics Pizza Hut.” [56:03]
• Both would love to try adult gymnastics now.

10. Listener Questions: Sexless Relationships & Dealing with Cheating Friends

[58:15 – 71:36]

a. Intimacy Struggles in a Long-Term Relationship

• Listener describes dwindling sex life after early years, possible causes being partner’s unresolved trauma.
• Both caution against jumping straight into opening the relationship — recommend therapy, patience, scheduling intimate, pressure-free time, and communicating needs directly.
• “Making it... out in the open: clearly we are on the same page... I miss the way we connect sexually.” — Nicole [61:03]
• “Try and fail is better than not trying at all.” — Sasheer [62:22]

b. “Jill” the Cheating Friend

• Listener is uncomfortable being in the know about a friend’s infidelity (with kids involved) and doesn't want to enable nor engage.
• Nicole: “It sucks to watch someone you love do something immoral. And... I don't want to be a part of this process.” [68:03, 69:51]
• Sasheer advises boundaries: “If she tries to tell you anything, be like, hey, I don’t feel comfortable listening to this... I don’t really want anything to do with that.” [68:56]
• Both encourage gently distancing, and protecting one’s own peace.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Sasheer flashing her extracted tooth:
  • “Everything’s reminding me of my tooth... That is her tooth. It is big.” — Nicole & Sasheer [06:13]
• On quirky travel goals:
  • “I love dumb stuff. Fellowship. Community.” — Sasheer [14:39]
• On being a ‘daring soul’ by wearing white:
  • “She always looks so good. That’s a woman.” — Nicole [12:13]
• On the NBA:
  • “Heard it here first. Sasheer loves the National Basketball Association.” — Nicole [43:05]
• Self-deprecating about sports:
  • “I could have been great, had I wanted to run, but I simply didn’t.” — Sasheer [50:21]
• On time management:
  • “In 2026. Let’s try to get early… Let's get early in here!” — Nicole & Sasheer [38:42]
• On advice for the sexless relationship:
  • “Slow and steady wins the race. But then there’s also a hare and a turtle.” — Sasheer [64:31]
• Boundaries with a cheating friend:
  • “Get rid of Jill. Not like, kill her. Just like, don’t be friends with Jill.” — Sasheer [71:20]
  • “She’s doing too much damage.” — Nicole [71:29]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 02:01: Episode starts — Nicole’s illness and dentist stories
• 06:02: Sasheer reveals her extracted tooth with a dental instrument
• 10:40: Travel fantasizing and destination wishlists
• 11:50: Nicole calls Sasheer a “daring soul” for wearing white
• 20:49: Button collection & hilarious Amazon leggings review
• 24:22: Roller skating dreams and pandemic nostalgia
• 35:21: Running late and morning routine struggles
• 38:42: Time management resolutions — “Let’s get early”
• 42:10: NBA praise, NFL criticism, pop culture riffing
• 49:38: Childhood sports stories and gym trauma
• 58:15: Listener question: Sexless relationship advice
• 67:50: Listener question: Boundaries on a cheating friend

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Summary & Takeaway

This episode is quintessential Best Friends: conversational, deeply relatable, and uproariously funny. Nicole and Sasheer blend personal anecdotes, pop culture, and listener advice seamlessly, mixing absurdity (giant pencil festivals, questionable dentist practices) with real talk (how to revive intimacy, setting boundaries with toxic friends). If you need a window into true friendship—messy, supportive, and hilarious—you’ll find it here.

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(For more: Questions or queries can be sent to their email or phone number as shared at the end of the episode.)

Transcript

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[Nicole]

Nicole.

[Sashir]

Hi. Hello.

[Nicole]

I was sick for the last few days and I hated it.

[Sashir]

I know. It's just the way you said it. I was sick for the last few days. Me.

[Nicole]

I was sick.

[Sashir]

I'm sorry that you were sick. Yes, you were sick. And we missed getting hot dogs and soft serve.

[Nicole]

I know. I was really looking forward to it.

[Sashir]

Me too.

[Nicole]

Yeah, getting sick really sucks.

[Sashir]

Gosh darn it, man, I hate getting sick. Heard it here first. Getting sick sucks. Yeah.

[Nicole]

Cause, like, you know, I think it's one thing if it's like, oh, I was stomping around barefoot in the snow or like, I was running around in the rain with no jacket, but it's like I was just living my life.

[Sashir]

What are these situations? I was stomping barefoot in the snow.

[Nicole]

You know, things that get you sick.

[Sashir]

When have you ever stomped barefoot in the snow?

[Nicole]

Well, I have it. I'm sure someone has. And they probably got sick right after.

[Sashir]

Okay, fair.

[Nicole]

But, you know, if you're just, like, living your life and I don't think I encountered any sick people, and then all of a sudden, a chew.

[Sashir]

Were you sneezing?

[Nicole]

I was sneezing, I was coughing. I. I guess that was it season?

[Sashir]

No. Runny nose.

[Nicole]

Oh, I had a runny nose. Blowing my nose a lot. Yeah.

[Sashir]

Was it allergies or was it sickness?

[Nicole]

No, it was a cold.

[Sashir]

Oh.

[Nicole]

Yeah. And people keep being like, oh, something's going around. I feel like something's always.

[Sashir]

Something is always going around. It is so annoying. If it's not covet, it's another mystery sickness.

[Nicole]

Truly.

[Sashir]

I don't like it.

[Nicole]

I don't like it either.

[Sashir]

How do we stop it?

[Nicole]

Vaccines doesn't actually stop it. It's still going around.

[Sashir]

Yeah, I. Yeah. In December, had a nasty little cold, but also, maybe it was allergies. I don't know. My allergies are crazy sometimes.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Well, it's also, like, hard because it doesn't get cold in la and it's, like, chilly. It's not like.

[Sashir]

It's not like, whoa.

[Nicole]

Yeah, whoa, whoa.

[Sashir]

The wind.

[Nicole]

Also, I feel like there was like. Well, I guess. I guess we're not out of the blizzard season. Or there's, like, a huge storm that's happening. And, like, people were like, well, it came late. Someone. Someone's like, this is a black storm because it came late. Also, like, it's not a lot of snow. It's, like, barely anything. And people are like, this is like, nothing. We were, like, harboring water.

[Sashir]

Came late, left early. That's a black blizzard. That's really funny. Did you see I'm obsessed with the mayor of New York? He's been making videos. He was shoveling snow.

[Nicole]

I didn't see him shoveling snow.

[Sashir]

Yeah, he's. He's out there.

[Nicole]

He's doing a lot of work. It's so nice.

[Sashir]

It's really interesting because I was. I don't know, I got, like, lost in a hole, and I was watching videos of Eric Adams. That man was crazy. That man was wildly insane.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I cannot believe he was the mayor and then the new mayor, you know, he's great. He's Mandami. Mandami. Oh, boy. But yeah, there was a. God, it was a. It was a video of Eric Adams, like, walking through a room, and he was like, this is where your kids could hide drugs. He was, like, obsessed with, like, talking.

[Nicole]

About kids hiding drugs.

[Sashir]

Oh, he is. I saw a tweet that was like, one day Tracy Morgan will win an Oscar for portraying Eric Adams. And I was like, I don't know if that's far off.

[Nicole]

And he doesn't have to act at all. Nope.

[Sashir]

It's so funny. Wait, where is this sweater from?

[Nicole]

It's a vintage store.

[Sashir]

I love it. Thanks. The bottom looks like teeth.

[Nicole]

Oh, does it remind you of your tooth?

[Sashir]

Everything's reminding me of my tooth. I can't believe you don't want to look at it.

[Nicole]

Show me your tooth. Oh, she's shoveling. She's so excited. I'm so ready.

[Sashir]

That's my tooth.

[Nicole]

That is her tooth. It is big.

[Sashir]

Isn't that huge?

[Nicole]

Yeah. Is this blood?

[Sashir]

Maybe.

[Nicole]

There's red on it. They didn't wash it off. And you didn't either.

[Sashir]

I didn't. Am I supposed to?

[Nicole]

You don't. I mean, it's yours now. You can do whatever you want with it.

[Sashir]

Well, it's like, sealed, so I didn't think I was supposed to open it up.

[Nicole]

You could take it out of there and wash it and then seal it up again.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

That's blood. Pretty gruesome, isn't it?

[Sashir]

Yeah. And then do you see the little thing poking out?

[Nicole]

Oh, wait, let me see it.

[Sashir]

That's the instrument. Whoa.

[Nicole]

But it's all the way at the bottom of the tooth.

[Sashir]

Yes. So it was like, poking into my gum. Oh, my God. Horrific stuff.

[Nicole]

Horrific stuff. Well, you can use that as evidence to friggin take those people to court. Yeah.

[Sashir]

I'm gonna sue. You should. I don't know how.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I don't know. Do you need a special, like, medical lawyer or like, can any lawyer do that? Personal injury lawyer, I think.

[Sashir]

A personal injury lawyer.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Maybe I'll get my entertainment lawyer on the case.

[Nicole]

Yeah. They at least help you find a lawyer who does that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you should. I should. Because that's crazy, isn't it? They can't be leaving things in you.

[Sashir]

I know, but then I was reading that that's like a normal thing that happens. Oh, my gosh. If a non specialist does it.

[Nicole]

Oh.

[Sashir]

And.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Just happens.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

But I don't think it happens where you can. Like, I. Mine went really low. Mine was poking out of the tooth. Isn't that crazy?

[Nicole]

Which, like, so was it? Did it the. That instrument go all the way through your tooth to the bottom or that's what you're seeing. Yes. Oh, my God. Of course you're. You were in pain for so long. Good Lord.

[Sashir]

Yeah. Isn't that wild?

[Nicole]

Really glad it's out of you.

[Sashir]

Me too.

[Nicole]

I might see your dentist, too, because I. I had a dentist that was, like, walking distance from my house, and I was like, hell, yeah, this is the best. But they're just, like, very old school, and I really don't. Like. I feel like I've talked about this before. When they clean your teeth and they use a little scrapy. Scrapy tool. Yeah. And it. I'm like, it hurts. Is there some other thing that can be done? And I went to another dentist that was like, it. On their website, they said, like, they're more natural. And, you know, it just felt like the word health was all over the place.

[Sashir]

Yes.

[Nicole]

It was greenwashed. And. And they're like, yeah, we can do, like. I can't remember the term, but it's, like, with water, like, more with, like.

[Sashir]

Like a water pick.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I guess. Yeah. A power wash for your teeth. And. But then he. He was like, but I really do want to use. Dennis was like, I really want to use a scraper, please. And I was like, but I don't like it. It hurts. And he was like, but I gotta. And I was like, all right. And then he got the little pick, and it wasn't as bad. He used it less, but I was still like, I just don't want that. And then he was like, we gotta replace some of your fillings. Which maybe we did have to replace my fillings, but I also feel like I got upsold. Like, they were like, since you're here.

[Sashir]

The dentist I'm going to now, I like. And she was like, things have been done incorrectly, but they're not. It's not urgent to have them fixed.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

So we'll just keep an eye on them. So I don't think she's into upselling. And then she made me go get a second opinion before I even had the tooth pulled. Yeah. So I do think she is good. I will give you her information.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

She's very nice. Everyone there is so nice.

[Nicole]

I like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also because, like, I went to the dentist, he, like, replaced one filling, and then when I came back, he wasn't there. Some other lady was there, and I was like, I want the guy who. Who already looked in here. I don't want a different person.

[Sashir]

Mm. I understand that.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I think there's only one dentist at this dentistry.

[Nicole]

That's nice. Dentistry dentist. Tree dentistry.

[Sashir]

They're like, that's not what it's called. That'd be really funny if there was just dead silence and nobody heard the siren. Yeah.

[Nicole]

They're like.

[Sashir]

They're like, why are they pausing? Oh, my God. I don't want to get on a plane tomorrow.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

If I could snap my fingers and be somewhere, that would be my optimal choice of travel.

[Nicole]

Me, too. I don't like the travel part. Like, going places.

[Sashir]

Same.

[Nicole]

I don't like the. The journey in between.

[Sashir]

It's terrible. Terrible. And. Okay. Maybe you'll want to do this with me. I want to take the train from here to San Diego.

[Nicole]

Okay. I want to do that.

[Sashir]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nicole]

And then pretty.

[Sashir]

Ooh. That's what I want. And then stay at this really beautiful hotel.

[Nicole]

Oh, I've seen many videos about it. It looks like your house. Yes.

[Sashir]

Oh, my. Have you been?

[Host/Announcer]

No.

[Sashir]

But a friend is there right now. Text them right now and ask if they're having a visit. I want to go, so. It looks so beautiful.

[Nicole]

It does look really beautiful.

[Sashir]

I just want to be overwhelmed with texture and colors and things of that sort of.

[Nicole]

I'm into it.

[Sashir]

What's another place you're trying to get to?

[Nicole]

What's another place I'm trying to get to? I don't know. I guess it's in my Instagram. I do say things on my Instagram, but I know I don't say them in my head where I'm like, I want to go. Here, let me get my phone.

[Sashir]

Get your phone. I'll vamp while you go. Okay. So she. She crossed the room. She is now looking in her white bag, which to me is crazy to carry a white bag. But Sashir wears white a lot. She's a very daring soul.

[Nicole]

Trying to channel June Diane Raphael.

[Sashir]

She wears so much white.

[Nicole]

I know.

[Sashir]

And she's never stained.

[Nicole]

I know.

[Sashir]

She always looks so good.

[Nicole]

That's a woman.

[Sashir]

She is a woman. This so wild that we've talked about her so many times, just being a woman.

[Nicole]

I was so impressed. I was stunned.

[Sashir]

I do remember the first time I saw her. I was like, whoa, she's such a beautiful woman. Yes.

[Nicole]

It just like. Yeah, just very poised, but hilarious. Yes. We love her.

[Sashir]

I wonder if she knows how much we love her and how often we talk about her. She's so pretty. I know.

[Nicole]

Together we really do. This will give her compliments, and the.

[Sashir]

Whole episode will be like, you're so pretty. I can't believe you're wearing white here.

[Nicole]

Did you talk to us I know.

[Sashir]

Yeah, I know.

[Nicole]

I did that on purpose.

[Sashir]

I did it.

[Nicole]

Okay, let's see. This is. Oh, there's a place that is sandboarding in Colorado.

[Sashir]

Sandboarding in Colorado.

[Nicole]

That sounds cool.

[Sashir]

That sounds wild.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Have you ever been snowboarding?

[Nicole]

No.

[Sashir]

I love that you're skipping the snow and heading to sand, but I guess.

[Nicole]

Because I don't like cold, so I'm like, I'll do it in the desert.

[Sashir]

Okay.

[Nicole]

And snow. Sand and snow are probably as hard to land on. There probably isn't one that's better than the other.

[Sashir]

Yeah, I don't think so, because snow is compacted, so it probably feels like a sand hill dune.

[Nicole]

Yeah. And then. Oh, there's a. A flower show in Philadelphia in March. I saved that. Oh, did you send this to me? This pencil? No, this. This is some. Is a neon sign museum in Ohio.

[Sashir]

I did send that to you. I want to go there. I want to go to the pencil sharpening in Minnesota.

[Nicole]

Oh, I do want to see that too.

[Sashir]

I. I've truly given no context. People listening. Be like, what? A man erected a gigantic pencil in his front yard. And every year there's a festival from. I believe it starts at noon and ends at 2 to sharpen that pencil. And thousands of people show up. And I want to go. Yeah, this year I want to go. I think it's in May.

[Nicole]

Great. I. Yeah, I like stuff like that.

[Sashir]

I love dumb stuff. Fellowship. Community.

[Nicole]

Community. What is this? Oh, this is also in Ohio. We can make a whole Ohio trip.

[Sashir]

Yeah, let's go to Ohio.

[Nicole]

Oh, this is. Maybe this is like a hotel. Like a fun hotel.

[Sashir]

This is a hotel. A fun hotel.

[Nicole]

It looks like a theater, maybe.

[Sashir]

Oh, a theater hotel.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I do monologues to get in the.

[Nicole]

Bed as I walked from the bathroom to lay my head down. I got a lot of train stuff on here. Yeah, trains and outdoorsy stuff.

[Sashir]

Okay, we. We should make.

[Nicole]

What is that?

[Sashir]

A shared document.

[Nicole]

Yes, we can make a shared document.

[Sashir]

What's it called, where we both have access to it.

[Nicole]

A shared document.

[Sashir]

Oh, we should make a shared document on Google Drive. Ah, A Google Doc.

[Nicole]

A Google Doc. Okay.

[Sashir]

That's what I was trying to get at.

[Nicole]

I see. I see.

[Sashir]

I knew there was a branded shared document, and I wanted to make sure I said it.

[Nicole]

We can also share a note.

[Sashir]

I don't think I knew that.

[Nicole]

Yeah. On the notes app, I've sent them.

[Sashir]

To people, but I didn't know they could, like, do stuff on it.

[Nicole]

There's like, a collaborate option.

[Sashir]

Oh, stop. Collaborate. And listen.

[Nicole]

We love that song.

[Sashir]

We love it so much. Who sings that?

[Nicole]

Stop, collaborate, and listen. But he's bad.

[Sashir]

He's bad, so we don't like him. Yeah. So we're not gonna stop, and we're not gonna collaborate, and we're not gonna listen. Stop.

[Nicole]

Ice. Stop. Even Vanilla Ice. Yeah. Stop all Ice. Vanilla Ice. Out, out. Yeah. Get Vanilla Ice out of here. Is he bad because he, like, did something Trumpy recently, right? Did he? I feel like.

[Sashir]

I know Kid Rock is bad.

[Nicole]

Yes. And he's been mad for a while.

[Sashir]

All the hard whites are bad. Yeah.

[Nicole]

Truly the rock.

[Sashir]

He's an ice cube.

[Nicole]

Oh, the icy ice.

[Sashir]

The hard.

[Nicole]

Yes. Hard white.

[Sashir]

Okay. Yeah.

[Host/Announcer]

Vanilla Ice performed his hit Ice, Ice, Baby at Donald Trump's New Year's Eve party at Mar a Largo in 2025.

[Sashir]

Dang.

[Host/Announcer]

So that. That was it. And then he's been associated with. With Maga.

[Sashir]

And then.

[Host/Announcer]

But he's also said that his performances at these events are not about politics, but about having fun.

[Nicole]

No, he wants a paycheck. Yeah.

[Sashir]

He wants money. That's a fun way to say I'm broke.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I would like for that check to clear. I wonder how much he's getting paid to do these things.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I wonder how much Nicki Minaj got paid. Yeah.

[Nicole]

That sucks, right? That's so sad. But then she had, like, a tweet recently that was like, you know, I came here, I came to this country as an immigrant, and what's happening is really sad.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah, girl.

[Nicole]

Yes, it is. It's devastating.

[Sashir]

She's just a little confused about everything that's going on.

[Nicole]

Yeah. She's like, yeah.

[Sashir]

You know, maybe. Maybe too much butt stuff, it gets to your brain.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Yeah, maybe.

[Nicole]

Maybe.

[Sashir]

The silicone's leaking. The juice is loose. Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. I want to leave the country on a trip, but I don't know where. I don't know where I want to go.

[Nicole]

Yeah, Europe.

[Sashir]

Europe's pretty big.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sashir]

Europe.

[Nicole]

I was just trying to start with, you know, we can get smaller and smaller.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I don't know. I'm, like, in the mood to plan something big and bold and beautiful.

[Nicole]

Oh, big, bold and beautiful.

[Sashir]

Big, bold and beautiful. Three Bs.

[Nicole]

B, B, B, B, B, B.

[Sashir]

Maybe Egypt. I've never seen the pyramids.

[Nicole]

I haven't either.

[Sashir]

Maybe we should go see the pyramids.

[Nicole]

I did see a video where someone was like, I waited hours for this, and they showed what it looked like on the inside. And you're like, in A line going up, like, really thin, tiny stairs, and you have to, like, duck.

[Sashir]

Oh.

[Nicole]

But I think the outside's still gorgeous. And it probably still is worth it to go inside. Be like, I have gone inside the pyramids. But, yeah, it was one of those Instagram versus reality things.

[Sashir]

We went to, like, Aztec pyramids in Mexico, and I remember they were like, you can climb to the top. And I said, see you later, sister. Was it nice up there?

[Nicole]

Yeah, it was nice. The view was really great. But it also was, like, a lot of climbing. And then to go down, you were just, like, waiting to go down because everyone. It was, like, a very limited space to go down, and people were, like, sliding on their butt. Because you couldn't, like. It weren't proper stairs.

[Sashir]

Oh, yes.

[Nicole]

So you couldn't, like, just walk down the stairs. Is it kind of dangerous? We're, like, sliding.

[Sashir]

That is a little scary.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Have you ever seen that review on Amazon? It's a picture of a woman on her back sliding down a hill. And the review is, I slid down a full hill in this, and they didn't even rip. I'm gonna buy 10 more pairs.

[Nicole]

It was, like, a review for her.

[Sashir]

Pants for, like, leggings.

[Nicole]

That's really funny.

[Sashir]

I thought it was very funny. The picture is deeply funny.

[Nicole]

It's.

[Sashir]

It's one of those things where you're like, why would you ever post that about yourself?

[Nicole]

That's a good review. You're like, wow, they really won't rip.

[Sashir]

People post such embarrassing things on the Internet to the point where I'm like, why did you. Why?

[Nicole]

Because I guess they thought I was funny.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Or they really thought it was just for their friends. Yeah.

[Sashir]

And then it reached more people.

[Nicole]

There was.

[Host/Announcer]

There's.

[Nicole]

This was, like, around New Year's, I don't know who this person is, but they posted something that was like, I want to, like. Like, celebrate every day. Or, like, really recognize time passing. So I'm going to collect a button for each day of. Of 20, 26. And people were like, and then, what are you gonna do with the buttons? And she was like, that's not your business. And they're like, but, like, are you, like, collecting the buttons to make it into something? Or, like, what are the buttons represent? And she's like, I don't know you. I don't have to explain this to you. It's just people being like, but what are the buttons mean?

[Sashir]

I love that.

[Nicole]

I love it.

[Sashir]

I love that so much. It isn't anyone's business, but it is funny because it's like, well, you did kind of make it my business. You told me that you're going to click buttons, and now I have follow ups. And it's like, I don't owe you an explanation for what I'm doing with those. What do you think she's going to do with those but melt them down and make one big button?

[Nicole]

That'd be great. But I don't even think she's thought that far. Oh, that's the lady.

[Sashir]

Oh, come on.

[Nicole]

She's in peril.

[Sashir]

Who took that picture of her? That was a mean friend.

[Nicole]

Do you understand what I'm saying?

[Sashir]

Like, she saw that and was like, I'm gonna post that to show the people that they should buy these leggings.

[Nicole]

That's so funny. Can I just say that I will be reordering them in every color. Here is me rolling and sliding down a mountain because I was too scared to get up. My leggings did not rip, not even a little bit. And I got stuck on rocks and trees. She got stuck on trees and trees. That's so funny. And her friends just like, click, click, click, click.

[Sashir]

Also, she is not wearing hiking shoes.

[Nicole]

Yeah, she wasn't.

[Sashir]

She was not prepared for this hike. It's so funny to me.

[Nicole]

It's funny to be fully on your back when you're sliding because you can't even see where you're going. Of course you got stuck on trees.

[Sashir]

I mean, neither of these positions are good, I think, for going down a hill.

[Nicole]

Yeah, she could just. Yeah, that's very funny.

[Sashir]

I wonder where she is now.

[Nicole]

She's like, I'm gonna hike some more in these leggings. Yeah.

[Sashir]

I wonder if she's still. A, has the leggings. B, if she's still hiking. See if she's still friends with the person who took that picture.

[Nicole]

I mean, clearly she doesn't have any qualms about the picture because she posted it.

[Sashir]

It's so funny.

[Nicole]

It's really funny.

[Sashir]

Oh, it's deeply funny to me. Yeah.

[Nicole]

I think that's what the button girl was experiencing too, where she's like, I just posted this for herself and her friends probably. And then it blew up because people were like, what do the buttons mean? And she's like, I don't know any of you. I'll owe you an explanation.

[Sashir]

I love that. I think that's genuinely so funny. I don't owe you an explanation. I hope somebody comes back to the post in a year and they're like.

[Nicole]

What did you do?

[Sashir]

With the buttons.

[Nicole]

She's like, I don't need to tell you. That's for my. My eyes only.

[Sashir]

I wonder if I've ever done anything where I was like, this is just for me. I tell people all my business.

[Nicole]

Yeah. I feel like what you post is. Is for public consumption.

[Sashir]

Yes. I guess I did post a picture like that lady falling down the mountain. I was learning how to roller skate in 2020, and I fell right in the gutter. Truly, like in the gutter. And John Millhiser. Quick. As Quick as thunder is what I was gonna say. I've never heard that phrase. Quick as lightning. Yeah.

[Nicole]

Quick as lightning.

[Sashir]

Pulled out his phone and took a picture, and it was deeply funny to me.

[Nicole]

This is very funny.

[Sashir]

I do want to get back into roller skating.

[Nicole]

Me too. Yeah, we should do it. Let's do it. Maybe you can find a roller skating retreat in a different country.

[Sashir]

Okay, let's do that.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

That sounds like a nice time.

[Nicole]

I think so.

[Sashir]

I was trying to roller skate the other day because I have that faux floor underneath my pole, and I was trying to go, like, around the pole. It was so hard.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I think I need more space.

[Nicole]

Yes. Because it's.

[Sashir]

It's not space. It's such a tight space.

[Nicole]

Do spins there.

[Sashir]

Yeah, I could. Yeah.

[Nicole]

Yeah. I feel like all the ground around my house has, like, lines in it or grooves, so it's not very long before I hit a divot.

[Sashir]

Yes. And my faux floor is just squares put together, so there's a ton of little divots. And then when I walk on it in heels, sometimes it's a little hard. I'll hit something weird. I'm like, oh, no. And I'll grab my pole.

[Nicole]

Yeah. There's, like, a skate park near my house, and there's, like, a flat area of concrete that I have skated on before, but something about just getting my skates in the car, driving to the place. It's. Those are only two steps. But even that, I'm just like, It's a whole thing.

[Sashir]

Yeah. Sometimes it's a little too hard to get in your car and go somewhere when it's like, oh, the destination is fun. I'm literally just going for fun. Yeah.

[Nicole]

It's not like something else is happening.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Maybe leave my skates in my car. That'd be easier if I'm passing it.

[Sashir]

Like, roll around a little bit, I mean. Yes.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I have a. I have a basketball in my car.

[Nicole]

Lots of activities in your car. You have so many things.

[Sashir]

I have my pole Shoes with me at all times. I do have my roller skates with me, although they're not in my car right now. I have a basketball, but it's now a little deflated because he. The heat, the cold expanding and contracting. So you can only shoot it. You can't dribble it right now.

[Nicole]

You also put an air pump in your car for the best.

[Sashir]

Oh, my Lord.

[Nicole]

I should.

[Sashir]

I absolutely should.

[Nicole]

During the pandemic, I had so many things in my car just because it.

[Sashir]

Was like, just in case.

[Nicole]

Well, I could go to a park at any moment.

[Sashir]

Someone might invite me outside at any moment, and I have to be ready.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sashir]

I used to have, like, a picnic blanket. Yeah. I had a ton of stuff, like.

[Nicole]

A tent for shade. I feel like I had a wagon because I was like, I'm going to work outside, too. So I would, like, set up and have my whole. My whole life so I can be outside for the whole day.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Those were the days. Interesting times.

[Sashir]

Those interesting times.

[Nicole]

Those were. Those were days, for sure.

[Sashir]

Yep. Those were days. Yeah. I don't spend as much time outside anymore.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Yeah, that is true. I was outside a lot. Felt like being a kid.

[Sashir]

It did feel like being a kid. I was constantly doing cartwheels and parks.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Not anymore. I miss it. Yeah.

[Sashir]

I mean, not like the global pandemic of it all.

[Nicole]

No.

[Sashir]

A lot of being outside.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sashir]

And doing cartwheels outside.

[Nicole]

Yeah, we can do that. Not during a pandemic.

[Sashir]

I guess we could. We could.

[Nicole]

Hey.

[Sashir]

We could. Hey.

[Nicole]

The Creamy sisters doing cartwheels in the park. Who are those Creamy sisters? Cartwheeling all over the place.

[Sashir]

I almost texted you this morning to be like, would you like to be the Creamy sisters today? And I forgot next time because I was like, I have to get dressed and I have to just get ready. I have to get ready. And thank you for the text this morning that was like, hey, just so you know, earlier time than usual. It's tough for me.

[Nicole]

It's tough.

[Sashir]

It's so hard to. I don't know how people just like, okay, one, just fall asleep. That's crazy talk.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I have such a hard time going to sleep, and I don't know how people just get out of bed.

[Nicole]

I actually have been setting my alarm earlier than I actually want to get out of bed, because it does. I do have a transitional period where I roll around and I'm awake. I'm just like. I need to just, like, move from side to side for a minute. And then, like, I like Tuck my legs underneath my body and just, like, lay on them for a minute.

[Sashir]

In a different.

[Nicole]

Like a little turtle, I'm like, okay, now I'm in this position was closer to getting up. And then eventually I'm like, all right, now I'm gonna get up. Yeah. But that takes maybe half an hour.

[Sashir]

See, I wish I could do that because I will set my alarm.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

For an hour before I'm supposed to get up. But every time I look at that alarm, I'll look at my calendar and go, well, this is much earlier than I need to be up. And then I'll hit snooze, snooze, snooze, snooze. Until it's past the time of getting up. And then I have to, like, rush around and yell at Clyde and throw on clothes and then, like, run out my door.

[Nicole]

Yeah, yeah. I'm also trying to, like, keep track of how long it takes me get ready. Because I, like, in my mind, I'm like, I can get ready in a half hour. I can never get ready in a half hour.

[Sashir]

That's a line.

[Nicole]

I will never get ready in a half hour. And so it's like, no, I actually do need the hour to get myself together.

[Sashir]

Honestly, I tell myself an hour. I need an hour and a half because I need to put on the outfit. Not like the outfit. Put on a different outfit, hang back up the old outfit, put on rings, decide, I don't want those rings. Put on a necklace, decide I don't want that. Put on earrings, take them out, do my hair. But, like, I need the time.

[Nicole]

You need the time. Yeah. Lord, Lord, Lord, Lord.

[Sashir]

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[Nicole]

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[Host/Announcer]

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[Sashir]

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[Nicole]

And we're back.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

But I also like for me, my cortisol goes up when I am running late and it does not make me feel good. And then where whenever I get to the thing, if I'm like meeting someone or if I have an audition or whatever, now I'm stressed.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And I do. And I'm like not at my best. I'm not chill. I'm not easy breezy and I'm like I should just get there earlier so I don't feel this way. Even if the person I'm meeting is like not upset. There's no stakes. Like it's actually fine. I'm actually not at my best. I'm not at 100. So it's like, you know what? Give yourself time. So when you show up, I feel good, and I'm like, okay, I'm ready to do whatever this thing is and. And do it the best I can. Instead of being like, sorry, I'm sweating. And, like, you know, like, I don't want. I don't want that feeling anymore.

[Sashir]

I agree. But anytime I'm running late and I do get there on time, I'm like, ha. I did it. I defied logic and reason. I got there so quickly, I cut several people off in traffic. I did it. I did it. And I'm so proud of myself. And I guess I'm like, ha, ha. I didn't have to wake up earlier. Joke's on you, world jokes.

[Nicole]

You didn't get me his time.

[Sashir]

And then every time I'm late, I'm like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And then I have to be like, I'm sorry I woke up. There's no excuse.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I just left late, and I've stopped making up excuses. I used to be like, traffic. Or like. And I'm like, why am I lying to these good people? There's no excuse. I found things to do in my home. I had to put laundry in before leaving.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Don't know why I had to water my guard. I don't know. Yeah. It would just be nice if I just left early.

[Nicole]

Yeah. I also, like, even if I'm not running late, I. My. My brain is not my. On my side. Like. Like, I can be my own worst enemy and criticize myself even when I'm doing well.

[Sashir]

So.

[Nicole]

So if I'm running late, I'm in the car being like, you piece of. What was wrong with you? You stupid. You didn't have to empty the dishwasher. And I'm like, going through the day and being like, this. I could have not done this. I could have not done this if I had not hit snooze. And it's like, I'm also, like, beating myself up before I get to the place. And it's like, I also want to eliminate that.

[Sashir]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Nicole]

That negative chatter, because it actually, like, it's hurting my feelings.

[Sashir]

I'm hurting. You're hurting your own.

[Nicole]

My own feelings? Yeah.

[Sashir]

I don't do that. I go, why? What was I doing? And I'm like, what? What was. Huh? Oh, the light turned green. Oh, this person won't drive. I'm really in the moment about being late.

[Nicole]

No, I'm living in the past, and I. And, like, you know, living in it, and I don't, like, It.

[Sashir]

Oh, no.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I'm sorry. Get like me and just forget about what you did 20 minutes ago and start yelling at the people on the street.

[Nicole]

I can't. That's not. My brain works.

[Sashir]

Afterwards, when I get home, I'll go, why did you do that? That's when I start beating myself up. Or, like, after a meeting, when I'm driving home, I'm like, you could have. You could. You could have just been early.

[Nicole]

Yeah. You what?

[Sashir]

Why?

[Nicole]

Yeah. In 2026. Let's try to get early. It.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

I don't.

[Sashir]

The way that was phrased was wild for me in 2026. Let's get early.

[Nicole]

Let's get early. Let's get early. Let's get early in here. Let's get it.

[Sashir]

Let's get early. And that's the remix to let's Get It Started, which was also a remix. Isn't it crazy that they released that song and then immediately had to be like, here's the remix.

[Nicole]

Like, there's so many people that checked that. Checked it off. And they were like, yeah, they cleared it. They're like. They saw the title. Yes. And they're like, sure.

[Sashir]

Then they heard the track and they're like, yeah, why not release it into the world? On the radio?

[Nicole]

You were like, what?

[Sashir]

Wait, Ali, can you look up when the original version came out as opposed to let's Get It Started?

[Nicole]

Yeah. What year was that? Because it was like, even. It's like, even then. 20 years old. Even then. It was too late to be doing that. Right.

[Sashir]

But it is wild that it came out was. I remember the original version on the radio. And then just a hard pivot to never hearing it again. Nevermind. Yeah. What year did let's Get It Started come out?

[Nicole]

So long did it take?

[Sashir]

It was a single. They said, this one. Get it out there. It was on an album. And then someone said, we have to highlight this song.

[Nicole]

Yeah. So it's also like, did it go under the radar on Ella Funk, where people like, I just. I want to address that.

[Sashir]

Maybe. Maybe Ella Funk was gaining steam. And they're like, oh, we should release this, like, as a single. And, like, pump it to the radio stations.

[Nicole]

This is. This is showing our best.

[Sashir]

This is the best showcasing we've ever.

[Nicole]

Made, which is a great song. It's just that one word.

[Host/Announcer]

So. Okay. Both of them came out in 2004.

[Nicole]

Okay. So very, very quickly. They were like, we gotta remedy this.

[Sashir]

That's so of the same year. They're like, uh, oh, and the beginning of It.

[Nicole]

When it's like Fergie, it's like, yes.

[Sashir]

It's.

[Nicole]

It's soulfully breaking it down.

[Sashir]

It is honestly wild.

[Nicole]

And they had to do many takes, probably. No, you don't see higher on this one part. So crazy.

[Sashir]

Yeah. Black Eyed Peas.

[Host/Announcer]

Oh, and then also I'm seeing on Reddit that the original version of the song was used for promotion for the 2004 NBA playoffs and was reworked. And that's why it was reworked to be appropriate for tv. And the new version was so well, well received that the song got its own official single.

[Sashir]

Oh, so they're like, that's so funny. Nobody had qualms about it.

[Nicole]

Yeah. You're like, yeah. But then the NBA was like, we should probably not put this on broadcast.

[Sashir]

No. The NBA was like, no, let's get it started. Let's get the playoffs started.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sashir]

There was no.

[Nicole]

It wasn't like it was offensive.

[Sashir]

I don't think so. Oh. And people are like, hey, I like this version better. I don't know why.

[Nicole]

I feel okay listening to this, actually. Good.

[Sashir]

This one feels really good. That's funny.

[Nicole]

I do like the NBA. Do I watch basketball or know anything about it? No, but I like the NBA company. What?

[Sashir]

What do you mean you like the.

[Nicole]

NBA as a company? Because they let their speak out and like, like, have their opinions if they are political or whatnot. They actually put their money to good causes. And I'm comparing it to the NFL where they're like, no.

[Sashir]

Like, they were mad at Colin Kaepernick for such a long time. I think they're still mad at him. Yeah. I don't even know if he's playing.

[Nicole]

And I remember during the pandemic when they had to, like, have no audience for the. For the NBA on the court. They. I feel like they had, like, Black Lives Matter on the court. So it's like, everyone's going to see this, which, like, that makes sense. Most of the players are black. Yeah. I just really like the NBA as a company. Doing really good things.

[Sashir]

Heard it here first. So Sheer loves the National Basketball Association. She loves it. I love that you feel so strongly about the NBA and I've never known this about you.

[Nicole]

Well, because at the time, I was dating someone who's watching football and basketball, and I was like, you know what? The NBA's doing really good things.

[Sashir]

The NFL. Not so much.

[Nicole]

Not so much.

[Sashir]

Don't really like them, but they.

[Nicole]

I do feel like Jay Z's why do I know so much about this? I do feel Like, Daisy is doing some good, like, sneaky good stuff with the super bowl halftime show.

[Sashir]

Oh, yeah, because he's the. He's the arbitrator.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I don't know. Did I use that word correctly?

[Nicole]

I guess he's the liaison.

[Sashir]

Yeah, he plans it.

[Nicole]

He plans it. Yeah. He picks the artist. Artist, probably artistly liaison.

[Sashir]

He's the artist. Liaison.

[Nicole]

But, yeah, I do feel like, you know, like, Bad Bunny. That's a choice.

[Sashir]

And Green Day.

[Nicole]

Yeah. He's like, you want white people? White people. I could find.

[Sashir]

That's really funny. Oh, y' all don't like Bad Bunny?

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Oh, you want me to get a white? How about a white who doesn't? American Idiot.

[Nicole]

Like, he's like, like, actively saying Trump all the time.

[Sashir]

That is very, very funny. I also. I don't love the NBA or not the NBA. The NFL draft process.

[Nicole]

Oh. Because it feels like. It feels like buying slaves. Yes.

[Sashir]

It feels like a slave trade. It's like, look at these bodies. And. Yeah, yeah, I don't love it. But also, I don't know if the NBA draft is like that. I feel like they wear suits and they're like, look at them dunk.

[Nicole]

Look at them dunk. I don't know. They all wear suits, I think. Oh, do they? Yeah, I think the draft might be, like, the same way. I don't actually know me either, but they're like. Yeah. They're watching it happen and happen in real time, and they're calling the families and.

[Sashir]

Yeah, I do like the NBA. I also love the wnba.

[Nicole]

Yes.

[Sashir]

We still need to go see Go to game. What is her name? Ellie the elephant for the New York Liberty. She's getting down and dirty. She wagging that butt.

[Nicole]

She's. She's spinning that pony.

[Sashir]

She really.

[Nicole]

Yes, she is. Yeah, she's fun.

[Sashir]

I wish I could remember which WNBA games I've been to. I've been to two.

[Nicole]

Oh, nice.

[Sashir]

And I wish I could remember. They were fun. I like that their. Their ball is smaller.

[Nicole]

Okay.

[Sashir]

Yeah. Because ladies have smaller hands. We gotta take a break.

[Nicole]

Let's take a break. Today's episode is brought to you by Alma. A year from today, who do you want to be? What version of yourself? Who would you like to meet? Do you feel less anxious or more like yourself? Or maybe your relationship is stronger or the grief feels smaller? What if that thing you've been secretly worried about just took up less space in your mind? I think therapy is great, and we often recommend it to our listeners because sometimes you need to talk things out and it's good to have a very, very objective and professional person who's listening to you. The right therapist can help you get there. ALMA will help you find them. ALMA has a directory of 20, 000 therapists with different specialties, life experiences and identities and 99 of them take insurance. You deserve to feel like that future version of yourself. A year from today isn't that far away. Get started now@hello Alma.com best friends that's hello Alma.com B-E-S-T F R I E N D S From visionary creator Kenya Barris, who created Blackish, comes Big Age, the hilarious and heartwarming Audible original comedy about love, aging and finding your own way in life's next chapter. Big Age stars comedy legends Jennifer Lewis, Cedric the Entertainer and Niecy Nash Betts Watts. Big Age follows recently retired couple Dot and Butch Watts reluctant relocation to their new Floridian home, Sunset Gardens, a senior community that is anything but relaxing. In Barris's retirement community, Dot and Butch encounter a parade of unforgettable personalities who push their 50 year marriage to the limit. There's Butch's flirtatious ex flame Ethel, played by Nash Betts, spiritually possessed neighbors, pesky pill pushing couples and the ferociously competitive Stevenator. Through its blend of outrageous comedy, Key Party Anyone and touching Revelations, Big Age explores what it means to grow older without growing old at heart. Listen to Kenya Barris new laugh Out Loud Audible original comedy Big Age Starring Jennifer Lewis, Cedric the Entertainer and Niecy Nash Best Big Age Age does funny things. Go to audible.com bigageseries to start listening today.

[Sashir]

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[Nicole]

First with Shopify by your side.

[Sashir]

Oh, wow. I dribbled so much on that break.

[Nicole]

You were all over the place. Did you play basketball?

[Sashir]

I did, Yeah. I played basketball in middle school. I didn't play in high school. Here's the thing. I was growing wider and.

[Nicole]

And not taller.

[Sashir]

Not taller. Just getting fat. And the thought of running up and down the court was just too exhausting for me. Yeah, but I was re. I was a power forward. I was really good at boxing out because I got that ass.

[Nicole]

Yeah, definitely.

[Sashir]

And I was, like, pretty good at, like, being able to, like, grab. I was good at, like, moving my body to move the girls out of the way to get a rebound.

[Nicole]

I can see that. That's great.

[Sashir]

I could have been great.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Had I wanted to run, but I simply didn't.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

If the court was smaller, I'd do it.

[Nicole]

Yeah. We're doing half court. I got you. Yeah, I. I did play basketball in middle school. I really can't remember what position I was in. I don't play. I didn't play that much. I wasn't very good at it.

[Sashir]

Oh. I would say forward or center.

[Nicole]

I think center, actually. And yeah. Even though, like, I also was at the. On the track team at the time, but I remember being pretty slow as a basketball player.

[Sashir]

Really?

[Nicole]

Yeah. Or maybe I just wasn't, like, quick like. Like with the ball. I don't know. But I didn't love it. And they didn't love me.

[Sashir]

Oh.

[Nicole]

Like, the players didn't love me. I just feel like the game. The game.

[Sashir]

The game didn't love you.

[Nicole]

The game didn't love me back.

[Sashir]

Do you. What did you do in track?

[Nicole]

I did the 4x4 and the 400.

[Sashir]

That's 400 meters for.

[Nicole]

Yes. Is it meters or feet?

[Sashir]

I think meters, right?

[Nicole]

Girl, I don't know.

[Sashir]

I don't know either. 400ft doesn't seem too far, but maybe it is. I don't know. I don't know.

[Nicole]

Learn just one fourth of the track. I just know that.

[Sashir]

Oh, I think. Yeah, it's 400 meters.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

And then that's it. Wait, what's a hundred then there's like 100 yard or dash.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Like a sprint.

[Sashir]

Yeah. I thought that was a quarter of the. Huh. What are all the races in? In track and field?

[Host/Announcer]

Okay, so there are sprints, which is 100 meters to 400 meters. Middle distance is 800 meters to 3,000 meters, and then long distance is 5,000 meters plus. And then there's also hurdles and relays.

[Sashir]

Did you do relays?

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Those are only two. The only two I did. And I can't remember where I would be on the relay because I feel like they needed the best person, like third, because they had that. I feel like that was gonna determine who was gonna win. Ah.

[Sashir]

I thought it was best person last, but I guess it's like, you want to get that lead on the third and then the fourth one brings it on home.

[Nicole]

Yeah. It is like, I think the last two are the most important. I don't remember. I just feel like whoever they were, like, you can pull forward would be third, and then the last one would have to be the fastest one. But I wasn't in either of those.

[Sashir]

What were you, first? Second, probably second.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

They're like, we'll just put her in the middle somewhere.

[Sashir]

Did you excel at any sport? That sounded really shady. That sounded so rude.

[Nicole]

Were you good at anything?

[Sashir]

What were you good at?

[Nicole]

I excelled in volleyball.

[Sashir]

Oh, yes, yes, yes. You were a volleyballer?

[Nicole]

I was a volleyballer. I was outside hitter and a setter, and I was. That I was really good at.

[Sashir]

I don't know what that means. Outside hitter and setter.

[Nicole]

So setter is the one who's at the front of the net and they set the ball for people to hit.

[Host/Announcer]

Oh.

[Nicole]

And I like that position because you. You have to find who's gonna hit it. And it. I don't know, it just feels like you're like you're. You're alley ooping the.

[Sashir]

Ah. A real teamwork.

[Nicole]

And then outside hitter is the one who spikes. And I also really love doing that.

[Sashir]

Oh.

[Nicole]

I'm really good at jumping high and. Yeah. And it just feels good to, like, slam it down and hope that somebody misses it.

[Sashir]

Would you ever get into an adult volleyball rec league?

[Nicole]

I would love to, but I don't. I'm not. My schedule's not open enough to do.

[Sashir]

It regularly to, like, really commit to it.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I would love to, like, drop in, but I don't know if there are drop in volleyball situations.

[Sashir]

I think you should get on it. Get on the horn. Research.

[Nicole]

I bought a volleyball recently. You saw It. I did see it.

[Sashir]

I have a video of you hitting it in inside your home. Yes.

[Nicole]

I found this like a contraption. Contraption where you attach it to the volleyball and then you put it around your. Wrap around your waist so you can do solo bump, set, spikes. And it was strange. It's not. I haven't figured out the exact mechanics of it yet, but yeah, I do. I was like, I miss volleyball. And so I have a volleyball in my house and just like to myself.

[Sashir]

Have you been using it?

[Nicole]

I've like held it a little bit and like walked around the house and like was like doing a little sets and like in the air. But. And I do want to take it outside eventually.

[Sashir]

I want you to take it outside.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Did you excel at a sport?

[Sashir]

Shot put? Yeah, I was good at shot put. Could have been a state champ if I just wanted to practice. And I said, no thanks, I'll just show up. Yeah. Throw my little shot put. Get either first, second or third.

[Nicole]

Usually that's what I would get at the.

[Sashir]

At states. I would like get like six, maybe fourth.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Then they were like, can you try harder? And I'm like, no, thank you. Yeah, just shot put. And then when I was little, I really loved gymnastics. Yeah. And I went faithfully to gymnastics. I wore my green little unitard until some little girl was like, you're too fat to wear that. And I said, I'll never come back here. Yeah, I'll never come back to Shrewsbury gymnastics. I wonder if it still exists. Can you look it up? Yeah, it was next to the Pizza Hut or near the Pizza Hut.

[Nicole]

Yeah, I'm at the Pizza Hut.

[Sashir]

I'm at the Shrewsbury gymnastics.

[Nicole]

I'm at the combination Shrewsbury gym gymnastics pizza.

[Sashir]

That Pizza Hut had a delicious salad bar and a blueberry pizza. Ish dessert. Oh, that I'll never forget. It was so good.

[Nicole]

Is it just pie? Is it just. Is a. Is a pizza dessert pie maybe because it's just pizza shaped.

[Sashir]

Yeah, maybe it's.

[Host/Announcer]

It's close.

[Sashir]

Good choose. Very gymnastics. Oh, I guess I shouldn't say the business. That little girl. Yeah.

[Nicole]

They didn't do that to you. It was a little girl.

[Sashir]

I would like to take an adult gymnastics class.

[Nicole]

Maybe that girl bullied so many people that people stopped going there and they.

[Sashir]

Had to shut it down. Oh no.

[Nicole]

I want to take adult gymnastics class too.

[Sashir]

I tried to do a handstand on Sunday.

[Nicole]

Oh.

[Sashir]

It'S hard.

[Nicole]

Yeah, it's hard.

[Sashir]

Is hard. I was trying to do it. It was impul class. I brought A video to Veronica. And I said, I want to try that. And she went, oh, okay. And her eyes got big. And I said, oh, no. When her eyes get big, that means it's tough.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Because she's, like, throwing so much at you.

[Sashir]

Yes, but this was tough. This was. You were in, like, I guess, downward dog, if you will. And then you kick up into a handstand, and then you wrap one leg around the bar, and then the outside leg, you, like, wrap it around the bar, and then your inside leg, you hook your knee onto it, and then you pull yourself up. It was crazy. I'll have to show you the video because it really rocked my world because I was like, I can do that. And then I tried it and I was like, I can't do that. Isn't that crazy where you watch a video and you're like, yeah, sure, I could do that.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

And then you try it and you're like, oh, yeah.

[Nicole]

No, it's really humbling.

[Sashir]

I was humbled real quick. She was like, do you want to try it again? I said, absolutely not. And she's like, well, we'll try it again next week. And I was like, joke's on you. I won't be here.

[Nicole]

I'm leaving.

[Sashir]

I'm leaving town. I'm getting out of Dodge so I.

[Nicole]

Never have to do this.

[Sashir]

Should we answer questions and queries?

[Nicole]

Let's do it.

[Sashir]

Let's do it.

[Nicole]

Dang. We were chair chattering.

[Host/Announcer]

Dang.

[Sashir]

We were chitter chattering. We were chitter chattering. I didn't realize how much time it passed.

[Nicole]

I didn't either. Wow.

[Sashir]

Wow.

[Host/Announcer]

Hi, Nicole and Sashir. First, can I say I love when you discuss Sex and the City, My hot take is that Anthony doesn't get enough scream time in the series and he's the only good thing about. And just like that, his dynamic with Charlotte is just shattering. Chef's kiss. Nicole, what was your big re. Or what was your reaction to the big moment in episode one of. And just like that. I can't believe Carrie's first move wasn't to call 91 1. Anyway, I'd love your thoughts on my predicament. So it's a two parter. I'm 32, female and my partner, male, 34, have been together for eight years. We had great sex, often for the first two years, but since then, it's been a steady decline down to three times a year. All we've done or we've done all the standard things to troubleshoot. He doesn't have low T self guided couples therapy and talking about it. The issue seems to stem from past trauma from his ex who he says treated him like a booty call. When he really loved her and wanted all serious relationship. It ended when he walked in on her having sex with his best friend.

[Sashir]

Yikes.

[Host/Announcer]

So here I am, a very sexual 32 year old woman wondering if I should stick it out with this lovely human. We connect on every level but sex. So I don't know if it's worth throwing that away so I can mess around with randoms. To put it bluntly. To add, I'd love to bring up the idea of an open relationship. I'd have no issue with him building up his own sex drive by having sex with different people. But I know bringing this up would probably trigger some bad vibes considering his trauma. What would you do in my situation? Love the pod. You both brighten my day.

[Nicole]

Well, I feel like if you started the relationship hot and heavy and you were having sex sex. So I feel like that's hope to be like you can do it. It's not like you've never been in a place where you're having regular sex. So I would. Instead of being like this is the situation we should other people I think like let's try to get back to that place. And. It's like you have to talk about it. Yeah. Which sounds like you are talking about it I think. But also talking about it so much puts a lot of pressure on the sex.

[Sashir]

Yes.

[Nicole]

So then if it comes up then it's like okay, well now it has to, you know, we have to be good. And it doesn't feel as like spontaneous or natural or smooth as it used to. Probably.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

Which it might. There might be a period where it's gonna be that unfortunately. And then hopefully eventually it feels like hey, I just want to have sex as opposed to like we have to have sex because we haven't had sex in months and. And if we don't have sex and it feels like our relationship is failing and you know. Etc. There's gonna be a lot of like stuff in the head that makes it not easy for either of you to have sex. So. Which also you can say that too. Like hey, I don't want to put pressure on this but like we. I would like for us to like have fun again and like, like get back to connecting in this way because we connect on so many other levels that. And I miss the way we connect sexually.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And he probably does too. But yeah. You I think make. I think Making it not such a big thing. Like making it out in the open. Like, clearly we are on the same page. We both want this. Yeah, hopefully. I hope he wants it. We both want to have more sex. And you know, and I also understand the reasons we're not. Because you're dealing with trauma and like past stuff and things that have nothing to do with our relationship or me. And, and I'm being patient with that. And we are allowed to try and fail. I'd rather try and fail than like actually just fail and then our relationship falls apart.

[Sashir]

I agree. I think saying that you'd rather try and fail, it's better than not trying at all. And maybe ask your partner, what's something I can do that makes you feel loved since you don't want to be treated like a booty call. And it's like we're in this relationship, so you're not a booty call. What is something I can help you with to make this a little easier?

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Or maybe you plan like a romantic date night and you're like, maybe I was thinking at the end of this we could, you know, try to have sex. But I do think it's like trying trying is better than not trying.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Maybe they said self guided couples therapy. Maybe you do couples therapy with an actual therapist and the therapist can give you.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Like activities to do. Oh my God, I did something weird in my.

[Nicole]

Oh no.

[Sashir]

Maybe the. The therapist can give you activities to do together and then since it's like kind of homework for both of you, you'll get it done.

[Nicole]

Yeah. And there are sex therapists too who can specialize in this and. Or a couple therapists who also specializes in sex therapy to help give you tips and tools to try it. And you can also, like, it's not sexy to schedule sex. But also it's like if you're just leaving it up to.

[Sashir]

Leaving it up to God.

[Nicole]

To God and, and like the universe and each other, it might not happen.

[Sashir]

Yeah.

[Nicole]

And it doesn't have to be like we're gonna have sex at. On Thursday at 8:00pm it can be 8 to 11. Yeah.

[Sashir]

Have a window.

[Nicole]

Yeah. It can be 8 to11. And it doesn't even have to be like we have. That's gonna be like, that's intimacy moment. Like an intimacy can be. We cuddle together, we looking into each other's eyes, we read letters to each other. It could be just, but like focused. Not like we're cuddling, watching tv. It's like we are actually focused on each other. Connecting from 8 to 11. And if sex happens, that's great. If not, if we just cuddled and made out, that's also fun. And maybe next time it'll actually go further.

[Sashir]

Yes.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

Slow and steady. The hare is too fast. Slow and steady wins the race. But then there's also a hare and a turtle.

[Nicole]

Yes. I guess the moral of the tortoise and the hare is that slow and steady wins the race. Thank you.

[Sashir]

Thanks for helping.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Solved.

[Sashir]

Oh, wait, they asked me about.

[Nicole]

Oh, yes, Anthony.

[Host/Announcer]

And what'd you think about Big dying on Peloton?

[Sashir]

Oh, honestly, I think it was great that Big died because set the series up to see Carrie be single again in her 50s. And then they didn't do that.

[Nicole]

I know.

[Sashir]

Which was confusing to me. But, you know, I was grateful that we got. We got more sex in the city. Yeah. Oh, they said something about her not calling 911 immediately.

[Nicole]

I thought that too, because she was, like, holding him in the shower and I was like, we could. We could get the phone real.

[Sashir]

Like, I will say, when something traumatic like that happens, sometimes your reaction skills are just. That's different.

[Nicole]

That's true.

[Sashir]

So I don't fault her for not immediately calling 91 1, but she does call 911 eventually. You just don't know when.

[Nicole]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's also like, you're not.

[Sashir]

Yeah. You're not thinking.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

You're like, oh, my God. Solved.

[Nicole]

Solved. Let's see one more.

[Sashir]

Hello.

[Host/Announcer]

I love the podcast. I saw Sashir live years ago and I was laughing so hard I accidentally hit a dude in the face.

[Sashir]

Nice.

[Host/Announcer]

I have a friend, Jill that I've known for a long time. She can rub me the wrong way occasionally, but we have known each other forever and we live in a pretty small town and cross paths frequently. So I figured it would be best to just gently put some distance between us. But we still chat and we'll occasionally link up for drinks and talking, usually with other people. I've historically had a hard time confronting friends, and I'm trying to work on that. Jill cheated on her husband in the past and shared it with me and other friends so much that it became almost common knowledge against small town energy. Her husband supposedly never found out. I suspect Jill is cheating on her husband again. At the very least, she's getting very, very near to cheating on her husband again. It is obvious to the point that other people, even those who don't know about her past, are calling her out to her face and telling her husband. She tells her husband it's bullshit that they're just jealous.

[Sashir]

Blah, blah, blah.

[Host/Announcer]

In addition, there are kids involved who are being kind of emotionally, like, who are being kind of emotionally neglected and having a hard time. I've asked Jill about it point blank and she swears nothing's going on, but I swear she's lying. When I ask her why she's spending so much time away from home almost every night, she says that it's good for her mental health. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. I would love to just walk away from the whole mess, but she's everywhere I go. How do I end this or her out or otherwise react? Thank you for reading all of this. There is of course, so much context I can include from years and years of friendship. Thank you again. Sincerely, Amaya Karen.

[Sashir]

She opens her closet.

[Nicole]

Jill's there kissing another person. Oof.

[Sashir]

That's tough.

[Nicole]

I mean, I guess to answer the question of like, why do I care? I can't remember how she phrased it.

[Sashir]

You're a good person.

[Nicole]

You're a good person and it sucks to watch someone you love do something immoral. And you also, probably, because this person's your friend, you're probably friends with their husband too. And you're like, ah, when we hang.

[Sashir]

Out together, I'm lying by omission.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

She. Jill, telling friends that she cheated, I think is giving friends an unnecessary thing.

[Nicole]

Yeah. Now they have to carry this.

[Sashir]

Yeah. I think that's really unfair.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I do think you could put up a boundary and, and honestly, like, just hang out with Jill in group settings. You don't really need to question what Jill's doing at night. Every night. Every night away from home. And you have kids.

[Nicole]

Jill, Jill, Jill.

[Sashir]

Get back down the hill.

[Nicole]

She's climbed way too high on that hill.

[Sashir]

Yeah. I think you just kind of have to remove yourself from the situation and if she tries to tell you anything, be like, hey, I don't necessarily feel comfortable listening to this. I am friends with your husband. What you do on your time is what you do. But like, I don't really want anything to do with that.

[Nicole]

Yeah. I also wonder if there's a way you can communicate. Like, because I feel like I have. I have had friends who have cheated and have. And I knew about it. And I feel like what I would. What I wanted to do if they were talking to me about it is be like, like, are we trying to get out of the relationship or are you trying to stop cheating? Like, I can talk to you about this if there's an action behind it. If you're like, I'm. I'm trying to actually end my marriage, or I. I am trying to stop other people, but if it's like I'm cheating and I like it and I don't want to stop, I don't want.

[Sashir]

To hear about it.

[Nicole]

I don't actually want to hear about it. Yeah. I don't want to be a part of this process because, yeah, it feels really gross to. To witness and. Yeah, it's. It's hard to watch your friend do that.

[Sashir]

Yeah. And there's kids involved.

[Nicole]

Yeah.

[Sashir]

I don't like kids, but they don't deserve that. No, they just deserve me complaining about them on planes.

[Nicole]

And the husband doesn't deserve that.

[Sashir]

No.

[Nicole]

Also, like, people are telling the husband too, is also, it's like, it's actually way beyond your reach.

[Sashir]

Like, it's like, yeah, this is.

[Nicole]

This has gone. This is town wise. This is global. We know about it. We know about Jill's infidelity. Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, there's nothing for you to do, but I guess to protect yourself and your peas, you can tell her, I don't want to hear about this anymore.

[Sashir]

I agree.

[Nicole]

And. And I. I probably would distance myself too, because it's icky, it's nasty. Yeah. And also it's like, you know, she's going through something. Obviously, you don't necessarily have to be a part of her life when this is happening. Maybe there'll be a day where she figures it out and is like, like, I'm actually gonna work on my marriage or I'm gonna end it, and maybe she'll be more tethered to the earth and you can, like, have your friend back or not. Or. Or this is it. This is who she is.

[Sashir]

An.

[Nicole]

Yeah. And this. And she's showing her behavior. She's showing herself through her behavior. And if that's something you don't want to cosign, you don't have to.

[Sashir]

You don't have to. Yeah, get rid of Jill. Not like, kill her. Just like, don't be friends with Jill.

[Nicole]

She's doing too much damage.

[Sashir]

She is. Jill's doing too much. Get rid of Jill.

[Nicole]

Get her out of here.

[Sashir]

Get her out of here.

[Nicole]

Solved.

[Sashir]

Well, if you have questions or queries, we have an email. It is nicole and sashirmel.com and we.

[Nicole]

Have a phone number that you can.

[Host/Announcer]

Call, text, or leave a voice message at 323-238-6554.

[Nicole]

Well, goodbye.

[Sashir]

Best Friends is a production of Headgum Studios.

[Nicole]

Our producer is Ali Khan.

[Sashir]

Our executive producer is Anya Khanovskaya.

[Nicole]

The show is edited, mixed and engineered by Rochelle Chen.

[Host/Announcer]

That was a Headgum podcast.

[Nicole]

Day or night. VRBO Care is here 247 to help.

[Sashir]

Make every part of your stay seamless.

[Nicole]

If anything comes up or you simply need a little guidance, support is ready whenever you reach out. From the moment you book to the moment you head home.

[Sashir]

We're here to help things run smoothly because a great trip starts with the right support.

[Nicole]

And, hey, a good playlist doesn't hurt either.