Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata

Host: Headgum
Episode: “Sasheer Knows That’s Right”
Date: December 4, 2024

Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Sasheer Zamata and guest co-host Kimmy Gatewood (filling in for Nicole) share hilarious personal stories, reflect on the unpredictable behavior of comedy audiences, talk about the quirks and perks of friendship, and answer listener questions about group dynamics and reconnecting after ghosting. The conversation bounces naturally between comedy industry anecdotes, self-reflection games, and heartfelt advice, maintaining their trademark mix of warmth, honesty, and delightful silliness.

Theme: Navigating friendship, audience dynamics, and personal growth—with a healthy dose of laughter.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Comedy Audiences & Unruly Behavior

• Sasheer recounts a recent show:
  • [01:21] “...I said something about Black people experiencing this thing more than any other race. And a Black woman in the audience went, ‘I know that’s right.’ ...She kept talking, like, in full sentences...”
  • Sasheer describes the awkwardness of wanting to appreciate an audience member’s support but being thrown off by the unexpected extended commentary.
• Kimmy brings up TI’s outburst at a comedy show:
  • [03:02] Kimmy: “TI was at a comedy show, and apparently the comic made a joke about TI that he didn’t like. So then he got on stage, grabbed the microphone, and started, like, screaming at her.”
  • They reflect on how audiences and even fellow performers are increasingly unruly, theorizing that post-pandemic social skills have deteriorated.
• Boundary-setting in performance spaces:
  • [08:13] Sasheer: “Yeah, you just watch. If you want to be a comic, you just be in the back and laugh… but don’t fucking heckle.”

2. Audience Interaction & After-Show Encounters

• Varied fan approaches:
  • [09:19] Sasheer shares a sweet interaction after a show, when a fan says:
    “...I understand that you’re probably tired and you want to go home and you can’t wait to sit down. And I was like, you are so right. Thank you for knowing me.”
• Different vibes for each host’s fanbase:
  • [10:19] Sasheer: “My audience will, like, send me articles and think pieces about my material. And your audience is like, sending you disgusting messages in your DMs.”
  • Kimmy (for Nicole): “That's so nice. I don't know that world. I don't know it.”

3. The Realities of Comedy Touring

• Travel exhaustion:
  • [12:13] Sasheer: “A couple planes in a row this past weekend… Indiana to LA… to San Francisco… and I gotta go back to Indiana Thursday...”
  • [13:16] “I love the shows. I just don’t like the travel. It takes up so much time—not just flying, but everything around it.”
• Dreaming of ‘jet life’:
  • [13:53] Kimmy: “One day we'll be on that jet life. Oh my God, that PJ life.”
• Celebrity sighting stories:
  • [16:35] Kimmy: “I saw Viola Davis on a plane. Dave Navarro. I love Ink Master...”
  • [17:17] They calculate the costs of private jetting to Vegas together, hilariously realizing it’s much pricier than they imagined.

4. Friendship Games & Toxic Traits

• The “I Hate / I Love During Sex” Game:
  • [18:00] Sasheer explains a party game—list things you hate, then incorporate them into the phrase “I love when people ___ during sex.”
    • Kimmy: “I love when people pick their noses during sex.”
    • Sasheer: “I love when people chew loudly during sex.”
• Buzzfeed ‘Most Toxic Trait’ Quiz:
  • [20:00] The hosts answer fun personality questions; results:
    • Kimmy’s result (for Nicole): “Judgment. You are quick to compare yourself to others... harbor some toxic judgment.” [27:49]
    • Sasheer’s result: “Overextending yourself. Your to-do list is never-ending... You feel constant guilt for not living up to expectations.” [28:37]
  • Both reflect on their results, with Sasheer candid about her busy day and tendency to take on too much, and Kimmy jokingly suggesting outsourcing chores.

5. Listener Questions and Friendship Advice

• Balancing Social Desires, FOMO, and Personal Limits:
  • [33:17] Letter from a listener struggling with wanting alone time but feeling left out from her new trio of college friends.
  • Advice:
    • Kimmy: “Encourage yourself to go out more. Sometimes you might surprise yourself by having a good time.” [34:54]
    • Sasheer: “Don’t beat yourself up for not going out... Remind yourself you can leave at any point... Respect your limits.” [35:12]
• Furniture Placement Tips:
  • [37:23] Caller recommends “floating” a couch to create zones, and “anchoring” chairs with art or a rug.
  • Kimmy & Sasheer humorously misinterpret “floating” before agreeing these are genuinely helpful tips.
• Body-Positive Adult Summer Camp:
  • [38:59] Email shares info about Camp Roundup—“the opposite of fat camp”—for plus-size babes.
  • Both hosts respond enthusiastically, expressing support and curiosity.
• Reconnecting After a Friendship ‘Ghosting’:
  • [40:06] Listener Christina asks whether to bring up a friend’s multi-year disappearance after she gets back in touch.
  • Sasheer shares a similar experience, explaining that sometimes friends disappear for reasons unrelated to us, and that direct but gentle communication (“Were you okay? I missed you.”) can open up honest dialogue without accusations. [45:54]
  • Kimmy adds that friendships have seasons: “If you can move past it and just be fine, there’s no need to bring it up. But if you feel yourself resenting your friend...be honest and open that conversation.” [45:17]

6. Support & Friendship Goals

• Mutual encouragement:
  • [49:02] Kimmy plans to take singing lessons, Sasheer promises support by taking swim lessons with her partner.
    • Kimmy: “I love you.”
    • Sasheer: “I love you, too. Sometimes someone just being somewhere when you’re doing something difficult is helpful.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [01:21] Sasheer: “She kept talking, like, in full sentences...I knew she was agreeing...but I just needed to finish this thing.”
• [03:02] Kimmy: “TI was at a comedy show...got on stage, grabbed the microphone, and started, like, screaming at her.”
• [09:19] Sasheer: “Thank you so much for knowing me. I want this interaction to end and I want to go sit down.”
• [10:19] Sasheer: “My audience will...send me think pieces about my material. Your audience is like, sending disgusting messages in your DMs.”
• [13:16] Sasheer: “I love the shows. I just don’t like the travel. It takes up so much time...”
• [18:52] Kimmy: “I love when people pick their noses during sex.”
• [27:49] Kimmy (for Nicole, quiz result): “Judgment. You are quick to compare yourself to others...”
• [28:37] Sasheer (quiz result): “Overextending yourself...it’s abysmal for your mental health and relationships.”
• [35:12] Sasheer: “Remind yourself you can leave at any point...respect your limits.”
• [45:54] Sasheer: “You could also phrase it like, ‘Were you okay? I didn’t hear from you for years...’ It doesn’t have to be accusatory.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Audience behavior and TI story: 01:21–08:28
• Meeting fans and fan dynamics: 09:19–10:42
• Comedy touring/travel talk, celeb spotting: 12:00–17:22
• Dreaming about private jets: 13:53–17:22
• Friendship ‘hate/love during sex’ game: 17:46–19:46
• Buzzfeed toxic trait quiz: 20:02–30:41
• Listener mailbag: social group FOMO: 33:17–37:01
• More listener feedback (chairs, camp): 37:23–39:53
• Advice: friendship after ghosting: 40:06–47:05
• Friend support, singing & swimming lessons: 49:02–49:56

Tone & Style

The episode has the classic “Best Friends” blend: loose, honest, and deeply funny, with plenty of tangents and personal anecdotes, but also genuine wisdom about relationships, boundaries, and self-care. Kimmy and Sasheer both playfully rib each other and their audience, grounding the episode in a supportive, bestie vibe.

Summary Takeaway

This episode shines as a testament to how real, silly, and supportive best friendship can be—whether you’re dealing with hecklers, calculating the cost of luxury travel, or navigating tricky periods in your social life. Through it all, Sasheer and Kimmy show that laughter and honest conversation are essential, both on stage and off.