Sasheer Loves Yuzu

Summary

Podcast Summary: Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata

Episode: "Sasheer Loves Yuzu" (September 3, 2025)

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Overview

In this lively and laugh-filled episode, Nicole and Sasheer welcome actor and writer Owen Thiele as their guest. The trio dives into tangents about package theft, insomnia, quirky neighbor drama, their love of citrus, pop culture generational gaps, concert etiquette, car troubles, and the enduring quirks of best friendship. True to the show’s spirit, it’s a celebration of hilarious overshares and highlights the special chemistry only best friends—and fun new friends—can have.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

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1. Introducing Owen Thiele and Hollywood Humility (02:10–06:07)

• Nicole and Sasheer gush over Owen’s recent TV work on Adults and Overcompensating, playfully dissect IMDb "star meter" rankings, and share stories of friends with blink-and-you-miss-it credits.
  • “IMDb star meter goes a little up because of the...” – Owen (03:22)
  • “Who’s rating it? What does it mean?” – Nicole (03:31)
• Owen describes the real-life blossoming of friendship with his Adults cast, joking how he’s become besties with strangers thanks to being marooned together in Toronto.

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2. The Great Smoothie Debacle & Postmates Woes (08:38–14:55)

• Owen confesses he was late because he postmated (and then lost) a smoothie, revealing a history of severe insomnia (“I sleep two hours a night” – Owen, 08:57) and recent package theft.
• The “across the street neighbor” gets accused of lifting his long-awaited delivery and his prized, brand-sent shorts.
  • Notable quote: “I saw my across the street neighbor in the same blue shorts.” – Owen (12:28)
• Nicole and Sasheer offer covert surveillance ideas: “I’ve seen it on Amazon, it’s a rock with a camera in it.” – Nicole (13:00)
• Hilarious side stories about neighbors stealing food and accidental hook-ups with food thieves.

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3. Lukewarm Water, Digestion, and the Magic of Yuzu (15:28–19:35)

• Sasheer shares her distaste for cold drinks and her sensitivity to cold due to perfect teeth and singing, leading to a niche “lukewarm water suicide” recipe.
• Owen raves about discovering yuzu lemonade, which spirals into a bit about not really knowing what yuzu actually is.
  • “Yuzu. Love it. Don’t know where it comes from.” – Owen (18:36)
• Nicole and Owen marvel over “friend collector” personalities and childhood friends.
  • “I’m a friend collector. I think I keep them. You’re not leaving my side forever and ever.” – Owen (19:58)

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4. "Why Were You Late?" Segment (20:47–24:00)

• Sasheer blames jet lag from a Japan trip and general Monday tardiness.
• Nicole’s tale involves waiting for hot water repair, taking “whore baths” (bird baths), being boxed in by work trucks, and getting into a full street horn-honking war—complete with phone-waving and threats of being recorded.
  • “What are you gonna do with that information? Sue me. We didn’t get into an accident. I’ll kill you.” – Nicole (24:25)

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5. Navigating Social Annoyance & Grocery Store Line Etiquette (24:29–27:30)

• Conversation on public confrontation: Owen is non-confrontational, Nicole actively polices poor driver behavior (and tells off grocery line cutters).
• Darkly comic moment: Owen drops a $10 glass bottle of heavy whipping cream while being too polite to call out rudeness.

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6. Home Cooking, Orange Trees, and (Not) Juicing (27:24–28:05)

• Sasheer has an orange tree and laments the minuscule juice yield. General agreement that "homemade" is overrated.

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7. Age, TikTok, and "Feeling Old" in Pop Culture (28:34–34:44)

• Owen’s age shock (28), and Nicole playfully laments turning 39 and being “disconnected from things.”
• An extended bit on TikTok trends, algorithm gaps, pop stars they’re surprised to have never heard of (Somber, Ethel Cain, Sabrina Carpenter), and the phenomenon of being “chronically online” yet missing what’s trending.
  • “I do not like TikTok. I don’t.” – Nicole (31:42)

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8. Concerts, Dress Codes, and Lady Gaga (35:35–39:59)

• Ruminating over how concert fashion has changed: “I think Lady Gaga could have done us a solid and told us what to wear.” – Sasheer (36:59)
• Mutual love for live shows, Gaga, and the absurdity of being told to sit at concerts (“If I give you some popcorn, will you sit down?” – Nicole’s story, 38:07).
• Everyone agrees Joanne is underrated, and country Lady Gaga is “on board” with the group.

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9. Vehicles, Parking Drama, and LA Life (45:00–51:59)

• Nicole and Sasheer trade car and parking war stories—ranging from impounded BMWs (Owen got 38 tickets: “I thought I really thought I was paying them” – Owen, 49:40), registrations sent to demolished houses, to “I once had temporary plates for four years.”
• Hilarity ensues over "red is a suggestion" lawbreaking (#relateable LA content).

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10. Parental Bonds, Only Child Energy, and Best Friendship Origins (53:35–62:05)

• Owen talks being an only child and “friend collector,” with a mother he’s “obsessed” with.
• Nicole and Sasheer recount formative moments with their parents, regale stories about siblings, and analyze how family dynamics shape friend relationships.
• Nicole’s mother once took her to Dairy Queen after a school suspension for a “threat” which was more comic than criminal.
  • “I told a girl I’d kill her. I’d sit on her and kill her. My mother threw her head back, laughed, and then we went to Dairy Queen.” – Nicole (55:28)

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11. The Nicole/Sasheer Friendship Story (59:34–62:22)

• Nicole tells a vivid story of first meeting Sasheer: “She was wearing gold pants and a big fro and was so funny. And I was like, but she’s pretty too. This isn’t fair… I need to be her friend.” (60:11)
• Both marvel at the immediate sense of “this is my assignment” in forming a lifelong best friendship.
• Anecdotes of impulsive behavior, including a memorable incident where Nicole threw a piece of bacon at a restaurant wall due to salad disappointment.

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12. ADHD, Edibles, and Freaky Friend Adventures (62:29–66:41)

• ADHD/ADD talk, with shared tales of being medicated and the varied effects of weed on their bodies (“The only time I took an edible, I ended up in the Coachella medical tent.” – Owen, 63:20)
• Remembering a chaotic, giggle-filled airport run post-edible: “Muffins are good. Yeah, muffins are good.”

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13. Chili’s, Outback Steakhouse, and Comfort Food (66:41–67:55)

• After all the adventure, nothing says “friendship” like a craving for a Bloomin’ Onion or Chili’s fajitas.

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14. Episode Wrap-Up and Plugs (67:55–68:20)

• Owen plugs his hit FX and Hulu show Adults and his podcast “In Your Dreams.”
• Everyone expresses mutual affection and hint at a cross-guest appearance.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I’m a friend collector. I think I keep them. You’re not leaving my side forever and ever.” – Owen (19:58)
• “What are you gonna do with that information? Sue me. We didn’t get into an accident. I’ll kill you.” – Nicole (24:25)
• “Yuzu. Love it. Don’t know where it comes from.” – Owen (18:36)
• “I told a girl I’d kill her. I’d sit on her and kill her. My mother threw her head back, laughed, and then we went to Dairy Queen.” – Nicole (55:28)
• “She was wearing gold pants and a big fro and was so funny. And I was like, but she’s pretty too. This isn’t fair… I need to be her friend.” – Nicole (60:11)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Introductions + IMDb/TV Talk: 02:10–06:07
• Smoothie theft, insomnia, neighbor drama: 08:38–14:55
• Yuzu, water temp, and digestion: 15:28–19:35
• "Why were you late?" and LA mornings: 20:47–24:00
• Aggressive driving, street confrontations: 24:29–28:05
• Age, TikTok, and missing trends: 28:34–34:44
• Concerts, Gaga, and dress codes: 35:35–39:59
• Vehicles, parking, impoundment: 45:00–51:59
• Parental stories and best friendship: 53:35–62:05
• ADHD/Edible adventures: 62:29–66:41
• Comfort food, Chili’s, Outback: 66:41–67:55
• Plugs and closing: 67:55–68:20

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a perfect snapshot of Nicole and Sasheer’s signature blend of humor and heart. Their dynamic with Owen Thiele brings out playful storytelling, chaotic detours, and a clear message: best friendship is a wild, loyal, and laughter-filled adventure—no matter how many parking tickets or package thieves life throws your way.

Transcript

[A]

This is a Headgun podcast.

[B]

I'm so excited to finally start wearing fall clothes. Don't get me wrong, I love summer weather, but nothing beats layering season. There are so many trends I've been waiting to try and it's finally time to start wearing them. I personally love going to Macy's at the start of the season because they have all the latest trends and best brands in one place. So no matter what direction I want to take my style, I know I can find it here. And. And let's be real, I'm a chameleon who loves to switch up a vibe, so it's directions. Macy's Fall Fashion Guide curates everything, which makes it so easy to find the perfect look for you. I'm personally excited to get into the romantic vibe. So I'll definitely be picking up some flowy dresses from CC and pieces from Inc. Then mixing it up with some textural layers. There's one specific faux fur bomber jacket from Karl Lagerfeld Paris I've been really thinking about adding into my rotation. I also have always been a fan of Steve Madden shoes and I think their loafers will be the perfect statement shoe. That's too cute to not become a staple item. Ah, I can't wait to wear it all.

[A]

Quick time to choose a meal deal with McValue.

[B]

The five dollar McChicken meal deal, the.

[A]

$6 McDouble meal deal, or the new $7 Daily Double meal deal. Each with its own small fries, drink and Four Piece McN. Actually, no rush. I'm just excited for McDonald's. Price and participation may vary.

[B]

Hi, Sasha. Hi, Nicole. We have a guest today. We do? Isn't that fun? You're better at introducing guests than I am.

[A]

I don't know why.

[B]

Waiting. I'm not good at that. I can do it. You just look like you were prepping. Okay, today we have a new friend. His name's Owen Thiel, an LA born actor writer, most recently known for starring at FX Adults and Primes. You're so funny on it.

[A]

Thanks.

[B]

That's so deeply funny. Thanks.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

And Primes Overcompensating, which I also love and has appeared in hit shows like Hacks, Doll Face and I Think youk Should Leave. It's oenc.

[A]

Wait, I love that bio.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you guys write that? We did a pretty Absolutely gorgeous. It makes me sound so. It's like Hacks. I was in one second of Literally Counts blanket. You'd miss me. No, it counts. Trust me, it counts on your IMDb too.

[B]

I will tell you, my friend worked at HA Comedy Club in Times Square, and one of the comics was introduced from. You know him from Talladega Nights. We watched Talladega Nights three times trying to find this man. He was in the background of the fair scene and.

[A]

Yeah, by the way, that counts.

[B]

It counts.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

I don't know. He didn't have a line. It was a drone shot.

[A]

I don't know if it came famously from Talladega Nights. It's like, where. That's hilarious. No, my. Somebody looked up. My family friend just looked up my IMDb and she texted me, like, so many times in a row, being like, you were in hacks. I've watched it all. You were in. I think you should leave. I've watched it all, like.

[B]

And I was like, that's rude.

[A]

You should go back. I'm in one second of it. But it does count on IMDb then star meter goes a little up because of the.

[B]

Just a little up. Just a little touch. No, I think it goes down.

[A]

Does it go down?

[B]

Why? No, I think the lower your rating, the better you are.

[A]

You're right, you're right, you're right. It goes down.

[B]

Yeah. When you're like, when you're in the thousands, you suck. You want to be single digits on imt. I actually don't understand the rating. What does that mean? Who's rating it?

[A]

What is a star meter? What does it mean? Is it the amount of clicks or is it the amount of times, maybe amount of searches?

[B]

I think it's the amount of search. I think it's an amalgamation. I don't know if I'm saying that word right. You're using it correctly. Say it correctly.

[A]

You are.

[B]

I think it's an amalgamation of clicks on your name, things you've been in, and articles written about you.

[A]

You're lying.

[B]

I don't know. I made it up.

[A]

Articles written about you is so dark.

[B]

Well, when you go to, like when you go to the IMDb like IMDb Pro, articles about you. You're right.

[A]

Come up.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Oh, my God. I'm going to start having really bad articles written about me.

[B]

No, don't do that. Just to get that meter.

[A]

Start writing about me. My star meter's gonna be through the room.

[B]

Yeah. You've been having a really great moment right now. Yes. It's so great.

[A]

It's so nice. I'm such a fan of both of you. You guys. I said that walking in, but I truly am. You guys are so. You guys are comedic geniuses.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

So there's that. So congrats on that. Thanks. I've been loving being in TV shows. It's been really fun.

[B]

It's really cool. No other way to say that.

[A]

Totally. Totally. You sound horrible. Idol.

[B]

I've had a really good time being on television.

[A]

I know, I know.

[B]

Personally, I like it. I like it.

[A]

It's good. Yeah, it's fine. No, it's been really fun. I. It's so funny because Adults is about five best friends, and I didn't know any of them before filming it. So hopefully we get a second season because now we actually became best friends. So now I'm like, wait, second season would just be working with your friends?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Whereas first season was like, I'm getting to know these people. I'm getting dinner with them every night. You know what I mean? Like, learning their intricacies and their beauty and their whatever. But now I'm like, wait, I just want to do this for the rest of my life because I can work with friends.

[B]

Oh, that's so nice. Was it immediate? Do you feel like instantly, as soon as you saw each other, like, oh, the chemistry's there, or was it like a gradual?

[A]

I always think the chemistry's there. I'm always like, well, we're best friends. And then they're like, I don't know you at all.

[B]

I simply don't know you.

[A]

I simply could not know you less. But I felt like it was there very quickly. But it's also like when you're put in a different. We were in Toronto. We had no one else. Like, I think if we were in LA and I had other people that I'd grown up with here, it would have been harder to, like, sit with them and bond. But it was kind of like a social experiment.

[B]

You're isolated.

[A]

We were so isolated in Toronto.

[B]

It is a little bit like camp. Yeah. So your casting director is very, very good. Because the chemistry. I can see the chemistry. The chemistry is there. It's so fun. I think you'll get a second season.

[A]

Let's knock on wood. Let's knock on wood. I know. I don't know where wood is.

[B]

Is this wood? It's wood. This feels like wood. Could be wood. Knock on stone. Oh, no.

[A]

My boyfriend always knocks on his dick.

[B]

That's really funny. That's really funny.

[A]

Is it funny or is it like a No?

[B]

I mean, it's kind of corny, but it's corny.

[A]

And it's also like, it's not wood. You know what I mean? It's like. It's barely wood. No, I'm joking. That's so mean. He has a great dick.

[B]

I'm dumb. I didn't get it.

[A]

Wait, what?

[B]

Like, what? Like morning wood?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes. That's what I'm reveling in.

[A]

What did you think?

[B]

I just thought he was knocking on his dick for, like, good luck. He was like, I don't know. Knock, knock my dick dick. And you're like, that's all I need. And that's funny as is. No rewrites, no punch ups. That's just knock on your dick.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

That's funny.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

And then I was like, oh, wood. Hard dick. And then I was like, whoa, your boyfriend's walking around just like. And then I was like, oh, no.

[A]

And that's why I said he's. And. But that's why I had to take it back, because he has no problems getting hard. And I just made it seem like he did.

[B]

Is wood only wood? We love Jared. Is wood only wood if it's hard? Yeah, right. Oh, I guess wood is hard. Yeah, wood is hard. Now I'm learning. Okay, got it, got it.

[A]

Wait. I love both of you not getting the joke at all. Being like, I'm sorry, that's genius. You're not understanding. Both of you had gut reactions. You were like, I love that. You were like, genius. Really, Seriously gorgeous joke.

[B]

I love that I had a conversation with a friend where she was like, I don't think you actually understand jokes.

[A]

I'm dead.

[B]

And she was like, and I don't think you tell jokes. I think you talk in a funny voice.

[A]

That is.

[B]

And those are your jokes. I think you're right, because I don't really understand jokes.

[A]

I love that. I love that. I really like that you didn't understand that. But now that you understand it, it's less funny, right?

[B]

I still like it. Oh, I like it. I like the layers. I think that's very. Yeah, you like it more. I love the layers. It's like a tiramisu. I love a deep.

[A]

You really have to understand to get it.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I really. Okay. So she wanted to do a segment called why were you late? Oh, yeah. We've never done this before, and maybe we'll never do it again. I can't tell if it's too confronting, but I think it'd be funny.

[A]

I was late.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

15, 14 minute. 14 minutes. But then I parked. So 16 minutes.

[B]

What happened? What happened?

[A]

So, hey, guys. Now I feel really confronted. No, no, So I woke up today craving a smoothie. But I wake up, I have two. I sleep two hours a night, two to three. On purpose or like, I sleep no time. I don't sleep.

[B]

Why?

[A]

It's a horrible thing that's gone on with me since I was very young.

[B]

Is it you just can't sleep?

[A]

I have horrible insomnia. When I was getting my wisdom teeth out, I fought through anesthesia, like, my body will not go to sleep.

[B]

I also fought a little bit through anesthesia when I had surgery on my ankle. I remember the lady going, you're getting pretty far with these numbers. And I was like, I'm trying. I'm sorry. No, but have you. Do you take.

[A]

Like, I've tried everything.

[B]

Ambien.

[A]

I have tried everything.

[B]

You've tried Ambien.

[A]

I've tried Ambien. I've tried Xanax. I've tried gabapentin. I've tried, like, every. I've tried normal Lexapro. Maybe it's my anxiety or whatever. Like, I've tried everything.

[B]

What about. Mm? Mm? It's not called tiramisu.

[A]

It's a. I've tried tiramisuazepam, lorazepam, Tarazepam. I've tried both. Maybe I've tried lorazepam.

[B]

Huh? Tryptophan. Trip to Japan. Have you tried.

[A]

The one thing that knocks me out is a plane. Is a plane ride. Maybe I should take a trip to Japan.

[B]

Trip to Japan.

[A]

Just sleep, and then I come right back. I don't even get out. So I don't sleep. So I woke up very early, and I was craving a smoothie. Craving. And I postmated. Oh, my God. This is where I get embarrassing. But I postmated a smoothie, which is something from where? From creation. But it's so embarrassing to postmate a drink.

[B]

No, it's not. This was postmated to me. Nikki B.

[A]

Wait. Did you get any food with it?

[B]

Yes, I got a lavender frappuccino and egg bites. This is from yesterday.

[A]

That sounds great, but see, at least you're getting egg. But, like, you have some. Yeah, mine's just a smoothie.

[B]

Well, sometimes I'll postmate that. The Bieber smoothie.

[A]

Oh, Haley Bieber. That. That feels like a smoothie, though.

[B]

That's number.

[A]

And also, that's expensive.

[B]

I'm on television, my love.

[A]

Best friends is doing well. I'm coming back, my love. I am coming back for these ad reads.

[B]

I'm absolutely coming back for these ad reads.

[A]

I'm Absolutely. Coming back. I opt in. So I postmated a smoothie and it got stolen.

[B]

Oh, gosh.

[A]

Off of my porch.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. That's very violating. That's wild.

[A]

I postmated it at 7:30 or 8, whenever it opened. And then I didn't go down to get it for about 30 minutes, which already is like, why did I not. It was smoothie. I should have gotten it right when it was there, but then it was stolen.

[B]

Do you. Do you think you know who stole it? Because I know who steals stuff off my porch.

[A]

That's so funny. You asked that. I'm scared of this person. But I have a feeling. I have a feeling it's my. Not next door. Not next door neighbor. Across the street neighbor.

[B]

Oh, they cross the street to get your stuff. Because I'm telling you, peeking out that window.

[A]

I'm telling you, I've seen my packages in their place. Like, I'm just telling. I know for a fact it's going to them.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

I know. I know for a fact.

[B]

Wow. Have you ever talked to this person? Do you interact at all?

[A]

No, but I was sent in the mail very kindly by this brand called Vuori. I don't know how to pronounce it.

[B]

A brand.

[A]

A brand, okay. I'm an influencer. I was sent Vuori or whatever. It's however, vuori. I don't know how to pronounce it. And I picked the shorts out because they dmed me asking if I wanted it. I picked them out. I was so excited about them. And then my package was stolen and I saw my cross the street neighbor in the same blue shorts.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

So I was like, is that a weird coincidence?

[B]

Okay, you gotta get a ring doorbell.

[A]

I know. The only thing is, I live in a building, like, with two other. It's a. It's only. It has four units.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I would have to ask.

[B]

I would have to be like a conversation.

[A]

A conversation with my. My, my.

[B]

With. Oh, with the neighbors.

[A]

With the neighbors. And I don't. I'm already loud. I don't think they like me.

[B]

I understand.

[A]

Like, who would have the login for that?

[B]

Like, get a rock camera.

[A]

What's that?

[B]

I don't know. I've seen it on Amazon. It's a rock with a camera in it.

[A]

Oh, I.

[B]

Or a Barbie doll with a camera on it and just like place it on your face.

[A]

Wait, I'm.

[B]

But what if he steals the Barbie doll? Well, then you'll have the footage of him. It's Just his face.

[A]

No, it might not be him.

[B]

It is him. It seems like it might be him. It's him.

[A]

I think he definitely stole his shorts. I would be surprised about him stealing the creation smoothie with.

[B]

Well, if maybe he steals and he was like, looking out the window is like, something was delivered. He's like, well, 20 minutes. It's communal property now.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Also, if he was stealing because it was, like, getting melted and looked gross, like, I actually applaud him. Like, that's actually nice.

[B]

No, don't do that.

[A]

Okay. Sorry. Well, I'm scared he's gonna watch.

[B]

He's doing me a favor.

[A]

He was doing me a favor. He what? Yeah, he knew that. Maybe he thought I forgot it. Maybe he thought I forgot the package too.

[B]

No, he's stealing from you.

[A]

No, he's fully stealing from me.

[B]

He's like my next door neighbor, when I caught her trying to eat my food because I went out to get it, and she was there, and I was like, oh. She went. I was just trying to check if it was yours. And I was like, that's not it.

[A]

That's not.

[B]

That's not an excuse.

[A]

My best friend hooked up with her neighbor and dangerous. And. Yeah.

[B]

I keep seeing this person I know.

[A]

In a building in New York. Big building in New York, but there's one elevator. So you're always constantly riding the elevator with this person. I was like, first of all. First mistake.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Second of all, she went into his house or apartment, and they were having sex and whatever. And then after she was done, she was leaving, and she looked. She, like, threw something away in the trash. And she saw her food from last night that got stolen. Like, her. Like, Taco Bell or whatever the fuck she got.

[B]

Batman's iconic. I will steal your things and your pussy. I'm just so used. Feed me, then feed me.

[A]

Literally, feed me, then feed me again. God, that's wild.

[B]

Did she say something or. She was like, bye.

[A]

But then she called me, being like, this is so awkward now. I've. I did not like the sex. She goes, so I hated that. That's awkward. And now I know that he takes my food. She's like, this is crazy.

[B]

That's really crazy.

[A]

I'm like, he took a lot from you, my love.

[B]

Wow. For bad behavior.

[A]

So anyways, I wanted a smoothie this morning. It got stolen. I needed a. I needed a drink. I was like, do you ever get in that thing where you're like, I need something cold, icy, and juicy and flavored?

[B]

I don't like cold things. So I don't get that. Which is. She loves a lukewarm. I like water temp. I make her water in a special way. I put. It's a little bit of cold water and then a little bit of hot water. It's like a suicide. Is that what they call the fountain drinks? Yes.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait. I. I'm shocked by this wait. On a hot day.

[B]

I just. I don't like ice. I don't like anything.

[A]

Because you have perfect teeth and it's cold for your teeth.

[B]

My teeth are so perfect and I.

[A]

Don'T want to ruin them.

[B]

Yeah, I do have sensitive teeth. And then also, it doesn't, like, feel good in my body either. Yeah. Yeah. I don't like cold. I want just room to.

[A]

Were you a singer as a kid? Are you a singer? She sings now you're a gorgeous singer.

[B]

Now I'm a gorgeous singer and I can't. This is my instrument.

[A]

Was that why. Because you were used to drinking, like, lukewarm?

[B]

Maybe? I guess so. I don't remember anyone telling me. Well, I do remember someone saying, cold water is not good for your digestion.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

I'm always trying to have good digestion.

[A]

I am too. And it's not working for me. I cannot use the restroom. Okay. This is another topic.

[B]

Sleep. You can't. Shitty.

[A]

No, it's a disaster. It's been since I was little. But wait, so I can't sleep.

[B]

Can't.

[A]

Can't do anything. So I was on the phone with my friend, and my friend was like, goop Kitchen.

[B]

I didn't know that kitchen. Humble Brad. Yeah. You didn't know Gwyneth Gwennith, I do know Gwyneth, but I don't know. I didn't say kitchen. There's a whole kitchen.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Thank you for the explanation. And by the way, like, more understanding of it now.

[A]

A salmon bowl is like $40.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you're like, where was the salmon.

[B]

Raised in her pussy. Totally next to the candle.

[A]

Next to the candle next to the egg. So we. So she was FaceTiming and she was like, the best thing you could have right now that you're. I know what you're craving. And you're craving, like, a frothy lemonade. Like strawberry lemonade. And I was like, actually, that sounds really good. She was like, the best one is from Goop Kitchen.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And I was like, oh. So I looked it up, Goop Kitchen, and it said, it's two blocks from my house. So I went, this was at 11:41.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I had to be here at noon, so I thought, I have 20 minutes to get this, and it takes me seven minutes to get here. So I was like, I timed this brilliantly. I stand outside, and it's a ghost kitchen. So there's not actually. Like, you don't walk in and order with somebody. You have to order on the app, but the app is Postmates. So then you have to say, pick up. So then there was a whole process. I, of course, said delivery, because this is who I am as a person. I always mess everything up. I said delivery, then I had to change it to, then you have to cancel the order, then pick up. Anyways, finally got my drink, but I was eight minutes late.

[B]

It's okay.

[A]

Then with three minutes of traffic, here I am. And then two minutes of parking. You see how that equaled? I see how that did the math.

[B]

Yeah, that equals that.

[A]

Math.

[B]

Math.

[A]

And let me tell you something delish.

[B]

Oh, good. I'm glad.

[A]

Yuzu.

[B]

I love yuzu. I don't know who she is.

[A]

No one really does.

[B]

Is it a fruit?

[A]

So it's a citrus.

[B]

Yeah, citrusy flavor. I love that. You both love it, and you're like, I don't know what it is. We don't know that wood joke. Love it. What does it mean? What does it mean? Yuzu. Love it. Don't know where it comes from.

[A]

I have no idea. There's this brand called Yuzuko. I'm not sponsored, obviously.

[B]

Yuzuko.

[A]

I don't know. But it's a friend of mine from high school. I'm always scared to say friend because what if they secretly hate me? But it's a person I knew in high school named Marcus, and he started the brand called Yuzuko, and he just collabed with them. And actually, when I was on my way over, loving it, I was like, oh, it's Marcus's drink.

[B]

Oh, that's nice. Why don't you tell Marcus to send you some? Yes. Marcus sends some free promo already.

[A]

It's actually free promo for him. Marcus and I go way back.

[B]

Back. Old friend. Old, old, old friend. What's your oldest friend? Like, how far can you go back? Elementary school? High school?

[A]

Yeah. Like two.

[B]

Probably two years old. Oh, my gosh.

[A]

I have friends that I. I'm a friend collector. Are you guys friend collectors?

[B]

That reminds me of that Queen Latifa movie, the Bone collector.

[A]

Wait, just a little word.

[B]

Collector. Like, there's actually no correlation.

[A]

Wait, it might be the same. What does it mean?

[B]

I didn't Know why? It was reminding me of the bone collector, but it's just. Cause it's just the same word. That's really funny. I don't know. I don't think I'm a friend collector.

[A]

I have like, you have a solid group of friends, but do you have them for years or do you have a lot of people who I know are friend recyclers, so they like, go through a lot of cycles of friends. I'm a friend collector. I think I keep them. And then I'm like, you're not leaving my side forever and ever.

[B]

Well, I found her and you've kept her. And then I said, nobody gets her.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

And no one's got me. Yeah, maybe I'm a friend collector.

[A]

I know it sounds weird.

[B]

I think I'm a friend collector where like, my core group stays the same, but then some people get recycled in and out.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

There's like people in the orbit. Yeah.

[A]

I think that's how it's supposed to be.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Even the bad friends, I'm kind of like, stick with me, you know what I mean?

[B]

The bad ones, the scary ones. I have one scary bad friend. The meanest person I've ever met in my whole life.

[A]

Totally still a friend. There you go.

[B]

Can't get rid of them.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Wait, you weren't late today. I was like maybe 1205. So slightly late. Why were you late? I was late because I just didn't get out of bed. I'm still on. I came from. Back from Japan on Sunday and I. My body's still like figuring out what time it's adjusting. So I didn't go back to bed till like 2:30 last night. Dang, girl. I know.

[A]

That's insane.

[B]

And then Woke up at 9 and then just kept hitting snooze. And then it was like, I don't know, 10:45. And I was like, I should get up. And then I was like, I'll order breakfast. And then breakfast came and I didn't have time to eat it. And then I just, like, did my makeup. Breakfast is just at home. It's at home waiting for me.

[A]

Where do you guys live?

[B]

I mean, well, I'm not gonna tell.

[A]

You on the on air, of course.

[B]

But I live in la.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

I also live in la and I.

[A]

Live and I tell you the exact address.

[B]

Steal my smoothie.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

12 minutes from here.

[A]

Amazing. Great. So we're neighbors.

[B]

We're all neighbors.

[A]

Amazing.

[B]

Yes. I was late because I woke up late because I don't have hot Water at my house right now.

[A]

What's going on?

[B]

The hot water heater was not to code and could have flooded my basement. And I'm getting a new one. And there was a manufacturing error, so they had to come back today. So I haven't had hot water in two days. Can you smell me?

[A]

You smell great.

[B]

Okay, great. Because I'm covered in perfume. And I've been taking whore baths, which is where you wash your puss and your pits and under your titties, lift them. Some people call them bird baths.

[A]

I like. It's so crazy.

[B]

And then as I was leaving, the truck was boxing me in. And then I'm also having other work done, and they were boxing me. And so it took me a while to get out, which is a lot of back and forth. And by the time I got out, the guy was like, do you want me to move? And I was like, bitch, I'm gone. And then I got into a fight with a lady on the street.

[A]

Wait, why?

[B]

Because, okay, this lady, we're at the light, and the light by my house, if you don't go when it turns green, it changes very quickly. And then you're stuck again for, like, another bunch of rotations. So the light turned green, the two cars in front of her, gone. She's still sitting there. So I was like, the light's gonna change. I don't know. I couldn't see. So I honked my horn, and then she slowly takes off, and I was like, you gotta go faster because I'm gonna get stuck here. You're just like the light. The yellow light turns so fast. So I'm like, on her ass. And then we, like, both make it through the light, but it's, like, red by the time I'm across it. I was mad. So then I wrote her ass a little bit, and then she pointed at the speed limit, and I was like, how dare you? So then I honked my horn again because I was like, move faster. I'm just amazed at how much you're able to communicate.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Through two phones facing each other.

[A]

It's really unbelievable what you've done.

[B]

Then she held up her phone and started recording me. So I waved at it, and then at the stop sign, I went around her and I went, because you're wrong. Drive your car. Go.

[A]

Wait. I get very, very frustrated when people are slow drivers. Especially in a time when you're late.

[B]

Yes, I'm late. It's my fault, lady. But get out of the way.

[A]

But it is our fault. But also it's their fault. For now. You're making me lazy.

[B]

Even later. And then she rode my ass and was filming me from behind.

[A]

So do you get nervous that that's going to be posted on Twitter?

[B]

Post it. Post it. Cause what if she knows who you are?

[A]

Good, Good.

[B]

What are you gonna do with that information? Sue me. We didn't get into an accident. I'll kill you. Wait, post it. Post it and then I'll talk about.

[A]

It, by the way. Totally.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love that you're not afraid of that.

[B]

She really isn't. What is she gonna do? What?

[A]

No, she's not gonna do anything.

[B]

What can she do?

[A]

You're right.

[B]

What? She's got the back of my car. She's got me waving. She's got me passing her. You don't know if it's two lanes or not. I do worry that one day you are going to have one of those, like, meltdown videos go viral. And I'm just going to be like, is that me in the background of it?

[A]

I'm obsessed with that. Is that your vibe?

[B]

Here's the thing. People behave so poorly sometimes that you need to tell them that they're behaving poorly.

[A]

I agree. I can't do it. I'm a people pleaser. But I'm glad you can.

[B]

I'm also a people pleaser, but not to strangers.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

I don't give a shit about strange people. My God. And not my what?

[A]

And not in your car. Like, you're protected by a car also.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Would you do it at a grocery store and person to person, Give me an example. The other day, I was waiting at a grocery store and I had a lot that I was carrying and I made the mistake. Do you know that feeling when you go into a grocery store and you don't get the cart because you're like, I'm not gonna get that much. And then suddenly you have so much in your hand, you're actually dropping bottles at this point. Bottles are shattering. So that was kind of the vibe. And this woman kept being like, come with me. To her friends. Come with me. And then she literally, like, two friends walked up and she was like, no, you're fine, you're fine. And I was behind her and I.

[B]

Was like, wait in line.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And I was like, well, yes.

[A]

At a certain point, I was kind of like, how many friends do you have?

[B]

It's a whole store.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Literally, she was like.

[A]

And Reggie, come over here.

[B]

We've never met, but I want you bring the kids.

[A]

Exactly. Bring Your pet fish. It's like, was kind of insane.

[B]

And you didn't say anything.

[A]

I stood there. I took it.

[B]

I would have been like.

[A]

I did drop a bottle. Fully. Fully glass bottle of milk.

[B]

Shatter. Glass bottle of milk. What are you, a farmer?

[A]

I was trying something. I was trying. I was trying a heavy whipping cream in a glass bottle. Oh, sue me. I wanted to make whipped cream. By the way, the glass bottle was this big.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

That makes, like, one dollop of whipped cream.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Why does nobody tell you that?

[B]

Nobody tells you that making stuff at home is harder than you've ever thought in your whole life.

[A]

Thanks. Nobody tells you that.

[B]

I've tried to make orange juice from real oranges, and it takes so many oranges. Oranges to make.

[A]

Do you have a juicer or are you juicing it yourself?

[B]

I do have a juicer. Yeah. Just like a citrus juicer. You stick it on top and then, like, spins. And I have an orange tree, which is fun, but it makes, like, look at your life. So many orange. That's nice. Look at your life. Wait. And I'm like, I'm going to get the benefits of my harvest.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

And then it's like, half a cup.

[A]

Yeah, that's. I can't. That's what I mean. Like, why? Why? Why make things at home, ultimately?

[B]

I mean, that's how I feel. But I'm also a farmer. I have a whole farm. We've asked nothing about best friendship. Oh, but we also are asking about friendship. We have to take a break.

[A]

We're taking a break.

[B]

We're taking a break. And then we'll recalibrate. Bombas makes the most comfortable socks, underwear, and T shirts. Warning, Bombas are so absurdly comfortable, you.

[A]

May throw out all your other clothes.

[B]

Sorry, do we legally have to say that?

[A]

No, this is just how I talk. And I really love my Bombas.

[B]

They do feel that good. And they do good, too. One item purchased equals one item donated. To feel good and do good, go to bombas.com and use code audio for 20 off your first purchase. That's B O M b dash.com and use code audio at checkout. And we're back. I do want to talk about best friendship, but I also want to talk about farming.

[A]

Tell me about farming.

[B]

I'm a farmer.

[A]

Well, actually, it's not more interesting than best friendship. We're on this.

[B]

Well, it's a shy relationship. We're having a nice time. We're talking. This is. Maybe you're our new best friend.

[A]

Well, there you go.

[B]

How old are you? That's rude. So you can guess. No, that's even ruder.

[A]

You're gonna guess older than. I mean, younger than. I'm older than people think. Wait, what? No, I'm young. No, no, sorry. I'm older than you think. No, but that's by myself looking young. No, no, no. I am older than you'd think because I think I act really immature.

[B]

Okay. I'm gonna say, oh, God. Yeah, this is a bad game.

[A]

No, it's fine.

[B]

I was like, I'm not 13.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so 10. Actually, I'll go on the other side of it and say 62.

[A]

Yes, well, and that's also sort of correct. I'm 28.

[B]

Okay. Okay. Yeah. I was like 27.

[A]

Okay, great.

[B]

Which is younger.

[A]

There you go. Some people either are like 35.

[B]

Oh, gosh.

[A]

Or they're like 23. Because I think I have like a frenetic, crazy energy that makes people scared.

[B]

You also play young characters.

[A]

I play young characters too, which is great. Which is great.

[B]

Use that baby face. Yeah, use that baby face.

[A]

Totally. And then sometimes people are like, that's a 30 year old man. Why is he ultimately in this show? And to them I say totally.

[B]

I would say you're correct.

[A]

Correct, correct. And I don't know, we were in.

[B]

New Orleans and the bouncer was like, let me see your id. And I showed it to him and he went, whoa, keep doing whatever you're doing, sister. And I was like, oh, my God. But then I thought about. I was like, he's probably saying that to every woman who walks in.

[A]

No, I don't think so. I don't know how old you are, but you look young.

[B]

Guess.

[A]

Well, I've been watching your stuff for a long time.

[B]

Since I was doing the math.

[A]

So 72, 33.

[B]

I don't know. How old am I? You're going to be 39. Can you believe.

[A]

I actually can't believe that.

[B]

Isn't that wild?

[A]

I actually was going to be totally honest. I was going older because I knew that I was. Had watched your stuff for so many years.

[B]

Goo Goo, Gaga.

[A]

Well, baby vibes. By the way, 39 is so young. Where I. I'm like, I'm up in arms. I'm gasping at 39.

[B]

39 is not young. I'm tired of everyone going, 40's young. That's old as hell. I'm getting old. I am so disconnected from things. I know. I didn't know what some video was where people were shaking hands the other day. What's it.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

Literally, everybody knows it.

[A]

My name's Pink, and I'm really glad to meet you.

[B]

Everybody knows it, and I feel crazy.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Can I be totally honest?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That is sad that you don't know that I'm just gonna be totally real with you.

[B]

That's what I was saying. I'm old. I'm old.

[A]

I don't think it's an age thing for that. I think that's just, like. You just have to just open TikTok. Just once. Just once.

[B]

But she's chronically online. I am, and I know. So how did you miss this? I don't know.

[A]

Actually, you're. It's not on your algorithm. It is a tre. If once you see it, you see it everywhere. But, like, if you don't see it, maybe it never comes up.

[B]

But also, I'm always online, but I wait for TikToks to get aggregated to Instagram because I'm elderly. I do not like TikTok. I don't. Okay, so is your phone in dark mode?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

But it's yours.

[B]

No, mine is. So people, like, TikTok is in dark mode permanently. I can't get the dopamine I want from dark mode, so I can't get the colors. I do. I need the brightness. I need the colors. It, like, it bums me out looking at TikTok.

[A]

Totally. I get that.

[B]

I don't do it.

[A]

I was recently. Okay, so there's a musician named. I'm gonna fuck up. His name Somber. Do you know who this is?

[B]

No.

[A]

S O M B R. Okay. Old.

[B]

We're old.

[A]

Ready for this? He's number 53 in the world on Spotify. He has 46 million monthly listeners. He has. His songs have billions of streams. I go, who?

[B]

Yes. That happens to me all the time. All the time.

[A]

And now, of course, I'm, like, obsessed with him and blasting his music at the time. I feel, like, so young. I'm like, I'm 16 again. It is, like, crazy that I had no idea. 53 in the world. Olivia Rodrigo's like, 40 in the world. I'm like, what's going on here?

[B]

It's wild. That happened the other day when someone. We're talking about rag and bone, man.

[A]

I was like, wait, I don't know what that is.

[B]

So I could be human after all, you know? That's all.

[A]

Wait, you guys. Don't let the blame. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Do you. That man. The artist is rag and bone, man. I was like, I've never seen that combination of words together like that.

[A]

Well, rag and bone. I have. Because it was this clothing store. Exactly.

[B]

Other than that, maybe he worked there. That's what we say. Created a man.

[A]

Totally. And that is crazy.

[B]

There's an artist I just found out about. She makes the saddest music. Ethel who?

[A]

Kane.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Gorge love.

[B]

I didn't know about her, but everybody knows about Ethel Cain.

[A]

But then, oh, Ethel Kane recently canceled.

[B]

Oh, no, I didn't see. Apparently, Ethel Kane was edgy in their youth and was posting racist stuff, because that's a fun thing white people go through. Did y' all go through that phase? What do you want? Thing to ask on camera to the.

[A]

Two white people in the room.

[B]

Do you want to say this publicly?

[A]

Pull up a mic and tell us your racist tweets. Pull up your racist tweets. We won't tell anyone you're live. No, that's. Yeah, I. That was. That was actually sad to see. Especially she's a trans artist. It's like, I'm like, wait, what? Yeah, you're racist. Trans are homophobic trans artists. What's going on here? Yeah, Very talented, though.

[B]

Very, very talented.

[A]

American Teenager. Me eyes. There's some great songs.

[B]

Yeah. Do you know Ethel Kane? I do. Okay. But I guess I didn't know this new tidbit.

[A]

No, the tidbit's bad.

[B]

Oh, the tidbit's brand new. Yeah. Okay, great.

[A]

A week old.

[B]

Okay, so not that.

[A]

No, no. A week old.

[B]

Sabrina Carper was another person that I was like, who is she and where'd she come from? But she's such a little cutie. She's a little cutie.

[A]

I just want number one on Spotify.

[B]

She's number one for me. Oh.

[A]

Oh. Like, number one. Like, it's const. It's. It's actually getting sad how much I listen to it because it's like, it's becoming kind of my inner monologue is just her lyrics and songs. And I will literally. She has this line that says, oh, I leave quite an impression. It's from the song called Taste. And I've walked into places and said, like, I leave quite an impression. But I'm like, what am I doing? That's a full Sabrina Carpenter and only makes sense with her next lyric, which is 5ft, to be exact. I'm 6 4. So it's like, what am I doing with this lyric? It's just become a part of my.

[B]

Like, I like it.

[A]

My dialogue. Yeah, it's very sweet.

[B]

You were like, wow. Full of himself.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. Literally.

[B]

I live quite literally. I've been listening to Lady Gaga non stop and I wish I walked into places, went abracadabra.

[A]

I just saw her live.

[B]

We did too. We just saw her too. I just had a. We just saw her.

[A]

Did you love it? Loved it.

[B]

We saw her last night.

[A]

It was a narrative piece.

[B]

Yeah. It was so fun.

[A]

It was unbelievable.

[B]

I love the end where you think she's gone and she's like, I'm not going anywhere.

[A]

Totally. And then she's taking off the makeup.

[B]

Yeah. Yes.

[A]

It literally made me cry. I was like, there she is, bare faced.

[B]

Did you dress up?

[A]

I didn't, but I wish I had.

[B]

Here's my issue with concerts. People aren't dressing up the way they used to anymore.

[A]

Totally. Except go to a Sabrina Carpenter concert. Oh, they'd be dressed up wearing baby doll dresses. Yeah, yeah. But, but, but I know it was surprising. Lady Gaga. I thought maybe it was because it was a Monday and people were like coming straight from work or something. You know what I mean? I was like, why is nobody in?

[B]

I was wondering if it was like because she had so many eras, people couldn't like decide and wasn't sure like what this era looked like. Like, you know, you were saying how there was like there was a bow era or it was like the hair bow was iconic look. Or like her poker face glasses or her bad romance outfit, you know, like. Or like her telephone look. You know, she definitely has looks from this era, but it's like. Yeah. I think it was hard for people to know what to do.

[A]

This era is just like gothic.

[B]

Yeah. And like red. I think Lady Gaga could have done us a solid and told us what to wear. Like when Beyonce said wear silver, I said, got it. Give me instructions. Let me buy some silver pleather pants that are gonna hold in that heat and you're not gonna be comfortable. And then Cowboy Carter. Yeah, Cowboy hats. Cowboy hats. Easy.

[A]

Totally. Did you go to Cowboy Carter?

[B]

Sure did.

[A]

It's amazing. It was amazing.

[B]

It's great. It was great. I love concerts.

[A]

I do too.

[B]

I do too. It's just nice to fellowship. It's fun. Dance with like minded people.

[A]

Totally. Where we were. We. I was sitting up high. This sounds weird. I was sitting up in the bleachers to see Lady Gaga and then for some reason a friend got us. What's it called when you're on the floor? Floor seats. And then I was like, up. Up in the bleachers was so fun. And everyone Was loving it, but it was more sitting and what? And then on the floor, it was like, ah, bro, you're dancing in the race. It was like, fun.

[B]

It's so fun.

[A]

You need to kind of be in the pit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You kind of need to be.

[B]

I. I like being on the floor because everyone stands. We saw Gaga in Vegas. Yeah. And we stood up and we were up a little bit. And then the lady behind us was like, hey, if I give you some popcorn, will you sit down? And. And I was like, I'm a professional fat. This is no mistake. Get me a hamburger and I'll sit down. Wait, that was weird that she offered you food, only me. She didn't offer you. She was like, oh, she doesn't eat.

[A]

Oh, my God. And did you sit?

[B]

No, it was weird. It was like. Because there was. The pit was like, people were jumping and dancing, but we were like, well, we like to have the option to sit. And she told us. She was like, just. The song's called Just Dance Dance. Just Get Up Dance.

[A]

You say that to her?

[B]

No, I just said no. But it was weird fodder. I think the, like, Vegas residencies, maybe, at least in that space, are strange because the tickets are so expensive. So people who are buying them may not be like, they're old and probably want to say. Or they're not like, they're like fair weather fans. They're not like Die Hards. They didn't stay with her through Joanne, which we did.

[A]

We all did.

[B]

We saw the Joanne tour. We did.

[A]

You guys did?

[B]

We did. We did. I love that everyone went to the bathroom whenever she put that hat on. Yep. As soon as the cowboy hat came on, they were like, all right, we're gonna get out of here.

[A]

Oh, my God. I. I love Joanne. I like some. I like Million Reasons.

[B]

I do like Million Reasons. Million Reasons is great.

[A]

I love that. What's that other big song from it that I'm forgetting now?

[B]

See?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And that's the problem. Yes.

[A]

But we love it. Seeing the Joanne Curse. I love. She, by the way, needed to do that. Everyone need. She needed a cowboy kind of.

[B]

I will say, I love that the public didn't love Joanne that much. And she said, you're gonna get country again. And then did A Star Is Born.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

And now I'm on board with her country. I'm on board.

[A]

I love To Star is Born that album.

[B]

Me too. Bradley Coops.

[A]

Gorgeous.

[B]

He should have came out. He's in la. Yeah.

[A]

Why did. Who came out for you? No one.

[B]

Right no.

[A]

Yeah, same for us.

[B]

I don't think she needs anyone to come out. She definitely doesn't. Yeah. She's great all on her own. Yeah. Oh, my God.

[A]

I agree. I agree. I love her, and I would love to see a concert with you both.

[B]

Let's do it. Let's do it. We'll go to. I will go to a concert with you. I like you very, very much. I like you very much, too. I was a fan of yours, just in general, and then meeting you. You're a nice time also. Do you get manicures?

[A]

Yeah. And you know what? I knew someone was gonna bring it up because they do actually look very good right now.

[B]

They look great.

[A]

You guys had a.

[B]

Are you leaving quite an impression? Do we have.

[A]

Well, I leave quite an impression. Um, no other dirty right now, actually. But it's a Russian manicure.

[B]

What does that mean? I know what that means. They cut your cuticles within an inch of their life. Oh, my gosh. But your hands look flawless.

[A]

Flawless after. And let me tell you, it took. I don't want to exaggerate, because I don't want to give them. It took four hours.

[B]

Because they're really cutting your cuticle within an inch of their life, literally.

[A]

And they're all. They're looking at it. They. I was waiting for the magnifying glass to come out. Like, they're looking at it so closely, and then they're matching each nail perfectly. They're doing, like, symmetry. It's kind of insane.

[B]

I mean, they look great. They do look fabulous. Don't we need our cuticles?

[A]

Yeah. So that's something that I was learning about actually, after this. No. I went to my mom and my dad, and I was like, look at my manicure. So excited.

[B]

And then they said, mom and dad.

[A]

Look at my manicure. That's me in a nutshell. Everything I do that I'm sort of proud of. I'm like, mom, dad, yay part today. Like, that's the vibe.

[B]

Do you have siblings?

[A]

No.

[B]

No. You really do give me only child energy.

[A]

I know. It's so horrible. I love it. So horrible.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

No, it's better at sharing than most only children. But, like, I'm like, have a sip of this. Like, that's like, not only child, but my starved need for attention. My obsession with being watched and talked about is just completely only children.

[B]

And also that makes a lot of sense why you are a friend collector. Because the only children I know do.

[A]

They're.

[B]

They're best friends from childhood. Are like their siblings. They're trying to create a family. Create a family.

[A]

Totally. Yeah, totally. That's. That's. I think that's very subconsciously in there where I'm like, I need. I need more than just myself up there at the altar. Whatever. You know, whatever it is, the altar.

[B]

I think only children and youngest children have a lot in common.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

Ivan. So. And insatiable need for attention.

[A]

Are you the youngest child?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh. And I was a problem.

[A]

How old is your oldest sibling? Like, how many years younger are you?

[B]

I am a year and a half. Exactly. Younger than my sister.

[A]

Great.

[B]

Which is devastating. To live a year and a half. You're like, I'm having a nice time. And then this monster comes. Totally a monster. Like, I grew up with a queen size bed and she had a twin bed because I was unexpected. So they set up her room, and then they had a guest room, and then I just got to live in the guest room with a queen size bed.

[A]

Absolutely, dad. They didn't change it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They go, and when someone visits, you'll figure it out.

[B]

And I got a new. I got a car. It wasn't a new one, but I got a car that was new to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then when my mom died, my sister got what? Her old minivan. And that's what my sister drove off to school.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

It was.

[A]

And how is your sister now?

[B]

You know, she's doing great. But I think if you asked her questions about me, it would start off a little terse.

[A]

Totally. Are you guys close?

[B]

We're close. Ish. We're just very different people.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

She is quiet. And that is my fault, because even as an adult, if we're together, someone goes, hey, do you guys want to go to dinner? She'll look at me first. Because growing up, I would be the one who decided if she was hungry or not.

[A]

I'm absolutely dead at that.

[B]

Maybe like, do you guys want dinner? And she, before she could answer, I'd be like, we're not hungry. And then she would just be hungry. Ruined her life in high school.

[A]

Now she probably doesn't know. What if she's like, nicole. Yeah, Literally.

[B]

Am I hungry? I simply don't know. When we had homeroom together, the homeroom teacher would be like, is your sister coming in? So she was also like, my keeper. I ruined her life.

[A]

Also, a year and a half is tough because you guys could technically share friends.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Right. Like, you guys probably had some cross up because it was just some crap. Isn't that just a grade or is that two grades?

[B]

It was. We were in the same grade. Oh, I didn't know that. From first grade on me were in the same grade. Oh, wow.

[A]

That's tough.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

That's tough.

[B]

Yeah. Did your parents hold her back so that they could be in the same gray? Probably.

[A]

That's hilarious.

[B]

I have a seven year gap. I'm the oldest child in my little brother's.

[A]

You are. You are. So you're put together like you feel like the oldest child.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

I would go to you if. If my car broke down on the side of the road, I'd call you.

[B]

Don't. Yeah. Don't ask me about cars. Don't. Look at the way she parked outside. You gotta stop parking in that spot.

[A]

Wait, is it illegal?

[B]

You did better than yesterday. Yesterday she took up two spots. Truly. Today she took up one and a half spots. You gotta just park in that second spot. But that looks hard. You just pull right in. But leaving. That's what I'm concerned about. But then you go zoop, boop, boop, boop. But your car. So your car's shorter than mine. I think I could do anything in your car. Anything I could do in my car, I could do in your car.

[A]

Wait, wait, wait. I'm actually dead. This is hilarious. Do you both have big. What? What?

[B]

My car's suv.

[A]

I always say svu. Which is so.

[B]

It is a special victims unit car and I'm the victim and I. Well, it's just like a tight. Since here is a person who barely ever takes a single person around the car before. This one had a third row of seats that she insisted on getting. Never unfolded. This car is a bigger car than that car.

[A]

A bigger car than a third row of seats.

[B]

It's actually a minivan. Kind of the same. Is it? But it's just like different proportionally. But it does feel bigger. It is big. But I like. She likes feeling, like having space. Yeah. And feeling. And feeling safe. And the option of having multiple people sit at any point. I put five people in there last night. You sure did. You sure did. And technically I could do that, but nobody would be comfortable. I drive a Jeep wrangler. A two door Jeep wrangler. I only drive two door cars because nobody ever asked me to drive anywhere.

[A]

It's actually so smart.

[B]

And I fit everywhere. I once fit in a parking spot so small that a man came out of his apartment to shake his finger at me. I rolled down my window and I said, I'll do it. And Then I did it.

[A]

Wait, you park anywhere? Is that what you said?

[B]

I can park anywhere? Oh, the smallest little spaces.

[A]

Do you park in the red ever?

[B]

Yeah, all the time. Sometimes they park on the curb.

[A]

We're the same. I think parking is. I think the red is a suggestion.

[B]

I also think it's a suggestion. I think the meters are a suggestion, too. I once had my car on Hollywood Boulevard for five hours. Never paid a cent. No ticket.

[A]

Oh, see? Okay. You're doing something weird to the universe in a really special way. I'm. I go, yeah, meters are a suggestion. And then I'm getting, like, hundreds of tickets. A police officer will come over. A traffic cop will come over and give me a ticket for parking in the red, and then realize that my registration's out of date. And then, like, I will just get, like, four tickets in one go. That's who I am as a person. But guess what I do. I take them all. I put them in a drawer, and I say, that'll work itself out.

[B]

I once got pulled over in my little Honda Civic that had plates from temporary plates from New Jersey, and the registration was expired, and I think the plates had been maybe four years old at that point. And the police officer's like, do you know why I pulled you over? And I was like, I don't know why, and I don't know what came over me. And then the lady was like, you've got a real attitude.

[A]

And I was like, you.

[B]

And then she was, like, gearing up to do something. And then she got a call, and she's like, it's your lucky day. I have something more important than this. And I said, oh, so, no, I'm not important. And I was like, what?

[A]

I'm. Oh, my God, You. To a police officer. So now I'm not important. Go off. Literally, go off.

[B]

And then I got scared, but go off. I'm scared. Got pulled over again because I had dealer plates on for three years, and.

[A]

My registration was, you and I are gonna get along.

[B]

And then I found out when I got my license renewed last year, my license was suspended.

[A]

So I didn't want to bring this up because I feel like I'm on a press tour for my car. Like, every podcast I do, I bring up my car.

[B]

What kind of car do you have?

[A]

It's not even about the car itself.

[B]

Please tell me. I love cars.

[A]

I drive a BMW.

[B]

But you don't have to say, like, that. I drove a BMW for years. It was a one series, though, so it's mine. Oh, My God.

[A]

You think I can afford anything else? No, I just wanted the logo, love. I just wanted the logo. I can't afford that shit. It's actually just the same price as a Toyota, actually probably less expensive.

[B]

Less expensive because they have run flat tires which are not great and they're so expensive and you have to replace them all the time. And the one one Series fun fact did not sell well because people were like, if I'm getting a BMW, I'm gonna get the. At least the three series, which is bigger. But I think the one series is really cute. Anywho, I love it. Keep going.

[A]

No, I feel like I'm on a press tour for this because I just went on two other podcasts and I just kept bringing up the fact that my car was impounded. My car's. My car was impounded because I got 38 parking tickets, which is I shouldn't be proud of. I know it's a lot.

[B]

No, I think you can be proud of that. That's great.

[A]

It's a lot. I thought, I really thought I was paying them, I really did. But then I looked up my license and then 38 was there. Anyways, my car was impounded and then I went to go get my car back and they said, can I see your license? And then I was like, where is my license? So then I went back to my house and I found a license that I thought was my license. And then I went back, gave them my license. They were like, this is six months expired. So then I realized, fuck, I had ordered a new license, but I had ordered it on the DMV website and had sent to my parents house which is now demolished because they moved out and the city demolished it or whoever bought it demolished it. So I realized that my license was probably at this demolished site. And then I realized, oh my God, this is probably why my identity has been stolen and why Kay Jewelers is calling me once a week being like, did you buy the diamond ruby ring?

[B]

I'm like, no.

[A]

Every kiss does not begin with K. So I was like, no. So then I would have to shut that down like weekly.

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

So I'm realizing that somebody probably stole my license from this site.

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

Do you know what I'm saying? And then stole my identity. Anyways, I just got the car back yesterday finally and it was in the impound lot for 20 days.

[B]

How much was that?

[A]

It was a lot of money and I had to take a driver's test again because I couldn't because once it's like six months expire once it's over 90 days or something. You. It's not just a written test. It's like, you have to get into the car.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Luckily, my guy was absolutely amazing. He got in. He was like, I. The first time I ever did a driver's test, I went to this place called Winnetka, which is, like, outside of LA because I heard it was.

[B]

Less.

[A]

Hard to get your license. And I literally looked at the man. He got in my car. I failed this driver's test, by the way. I looked at the man and I said, what tunes are we listening to? What are we bumping? And that's when ultimately he said, you fail. And so that was a tough experience for me. And then this time, the guy looked at me and goes, should we play the radio?

[B]

So I was like, that's nice.

[A]

Yeah, literally.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

And then I got my license, and then now I got the car back.

[B]

Good. I. I'm so happy for you.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

But also, doesn't this feel stressful? Like, this. This life. I wonder if you feel the same way I do.

[A]

That's a beautiful question.

[B]

How. How do you. I'll let you answer. I don't.

[A]

I don't. I. I don't feel stressed by. I'm like, ugh. The.

[B]

That's how I feel. I just go, it's above me. Like, I was flying to. I don't. I was flying to do shows, missed my flight, cried one single tear, went, it's above me. Texted my assistant was like, hey, I missed my flight. I'm not gonna try. You gotta try. Everyone else has to band together to figure out how to get me there if I make it. Either that or we cancel the show, because if I'm not there, there is no show. And then when my car got towed from. I was at a. I was in Koreatown and went to the mall down there, parked in a spot that was like, if your car is here after 5pm we're gonna take it. And I said, not my car. When I got back, they had taken it. And I was like, oh, my goodness, I can't believe I took it. And I was like, well, it's above me. Then I was like, well, I probably have enough time to get it back today. Well, this will be an adventure for tonight. And then it was a fun adventure. There was a fun cat sitting on my car when I went to go get it. So you, like. I got like, three minutes before it closed. I was like, I made it.

[A]

I'M the exact same way. And then you're in the car and you're like, woo. And then suddenly all the tires pop and you're like, yay, I'm totally with you. It's just not for me. The issues that I have, I'm kind of like, same.

[B]

It's not for me.

[A]

It's not for me. And I have tons of issues. My mom raised me really wrong. She really did something weird. She usually figures everything out for me, which is why she's like, I am. It's sad how obsessed I am with my mother. She would have come with me if I didn't say, stay at home. She was at my house if I didn't say, stay at home. I'm obsessed with her. And she is like my little assistant who shouldn't be because she's 60 years old and she should live her own life. And this is my psa for her to go live her own life.

[B]

No, I don't want her to.

[A]

I love when she's around. I love her. So she figures it out for me or she doesn't, and we just have fun not figuring it out which is the best. You know what I mean?

[B]

That's so weird.

[A]

Like, when the impound lot happened, she was like, let's get him a foot massages. I was like, yay.

[B]

Honestly.

[A]

So we went and got foot massages.

[B]

Your mom sounds like my mom. I got suspended from school because I threatened a girl. I told her I'd kill her and sit on her and. Which I think is funny, but, like, they took it seriously. We're going to kill her and then sit on her. I said, I. I don't know. I just said, I'll kill you. I'll sit on you and kill you. Okay, Statement. Like, I'll kill you. And then I was like, I should tell her how I'll sit on you and kill you and got suspended. My mother was like, what did you do? Sorry.

[A]

Were you gonna sit on her and then that's how she was gonna die? Or were you gonna sit on her and, like, kill her with a knife?

[B]

Oh, see, I didn't think. Yeah. Were you, like, restraining her and then you're gonna kill her somehow? I don't know. I think I just. I was fat. I've always been fat, so I think I was like, well, I think I was gonna use my fat to kill her. Right? Like, suffocate her. Use her strengths. Yeah.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But my mother was like, why did you get suspended? And I said, I told a girl I Would kill her. I'd sit on her and kill her. My mother threw her head back, laughed, and then we went to Dairy Queen, where then she allowed me to get a Peanut Buster parfait, which is not something you feed a child. It's a pint of ice cream.

[A]

Wait. I said, not only should she not have fed you that, also, she shouldn't have laughed. Yeah. She goes, and I approve of this.

[B]

Yeah. Like, that's hilarious. All the time. We would, like, we just had fun together in a way that is probably not right. No.

[A]

I feel that way about my mom. And now I am so lucky I have a mom that I want to have fun with. It is so nice. I think growing up, and I say this with absolute love, it was a little tougher.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

For me. Because I felt also like. I was like, wait, you should. Let's be mad at me for this. This is a little crazy of me. Like.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And then I was self regulating instead of like, like. Which was great.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In that way, I became an adult faster. But you know what I'm saying.

[B]

My mom was like obsessed with us. She was always like. She worked in the school, she was always there. When I got in trouble in class, I'd be like, go find your mom. So then that would be my activity. I'd have to, like, go figure out where she was. And then she'd be like, why are you here? And I'd be like, I talk too much. And she'd be like, okay, let's walk you back. And growing up, I was like, why are you always here? But now she's dead. And now I'm like, why aren't you here? It's fine. Look at her smiling.

[A]

That's sad.

[B]

It is. I'm sorry, but it is. It is.

[A]

I'm so sorry.

[B]

I do love just throwing that in there to get people going.

[A]

No, totally. That. That. That's horrible. I'm so sorry.

[B]

Can I ask who is your mom? Your best friend. Yeah, I like that. Does daddy ever feel left out?

[A]

Oh, my God. We have a group chat with. With all my aunts and uncles, everyone in the family, and my dad suddenly was like, like, why am I not on there? But also he removes himself. My joke about him, but it's not really a joke. It's just the truth is, everyone's like, is your dad in the picture? I'm like, yeah, yeah. He's just in the other room taking a nap. He just doesn't want to hear us talk. It's like that kind of vibe where it's like, you might never see him, but when you do, he's there, and he loves what. What we. What we're throwing down. You know what I mean?

[B]

We're throwing down.

[A]

Yeah, he likes it, I think. Or he's really sick of us. Or both.

[B]

Probably just like that. You crazy kids, like, you rascals. Have your fun. Also.

[A]

We're so, like. We are. I feel like when you're around, like, crazy people who are always getting up to crazy antics, it's, like, really frustrating to be the husband of that but. Or the father of that, but also, like. Like, you're laughing at least at the.

[B]

End of the night. You chose this.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

That's kind of like my dad. He's dead, too. But I'm so sorry. But, yeah, I would, like, do things, and my mom would do things, and he'd just be like, okay, totally.

[A]

All right.

[B]

He was a very quiet man. I remember someone called him Travis once, and that was not his name. And he answered, and I was like, wait, who's Travis? And he went, shh. Because he's like, he didn't talk enough to want to explain that that wasn't his name.

[A]

What was his name?

[B]

Trevor. So it was close. It was in. It was in the. The same house.

[A]

You going, why are you answering to Travis? Just blatantly calling him out.

[B]

That's wrong.

[A]

That's wrong.

[B]

That's not your name.

[A]

That's so.

[B]

No. I was insufferable. I came and wreaked havoc amongst my family.

[A]

I get it, my love. I'm. I'm there with you. Who are your best friends? Each other.

[B]

Yeah. Yesterday we did a podcast, and it ended with, how would you like to be found? She met on social media, but I instantly was, like, in my bed surrounded by loved ones. I thought she was talking about death, and then I then went on to.

[A]

Be like, I am dying. Wait, wait, wait. How would you like to be found? And you're like, probably in my bed.

[B]

Or, wait, wait, that's where my brain went, too. I was like, oh, I guess like, me on a boat.

[A]

Right, right, right. That's hilarious.

[B]

Yeah. But then I started thinking. I was like, like, well, we'll have to die at the same time because I don't want to live without you. And then started to cry.

[A]

You guys, this is actually a gorgeous podcast. This is gorgeous. Wait, so how did you guys meet?

[B]

Through comedy in New York in 2009. Yeah, I think it's 2008, but she claims she didn't live in New York. She didn't live in New York in 2008. But, you know, people's memories, they get up as they get older. And you're older than me, but I've always known that. I moved five months.

[A]

Five months.

[B]

Five months. But, yeah, we met, and I, like, have such a distinct. We've talked about this before, but I have such a memory of it. We were performing together in, like, a improv group that our teacher had, like, curated. And she was wearing gold pants, goldenrod pants, and, like, a deep turquoise teal top, and she had a big fro. And she was so funny. And I was like, but she's pretty too. This isn't fair.

[A]

It's really.

[B]

This is not fair. And then I was like, oh, I need to be her friend. And I don't know why, but, like, in my mind, I was like, this is. This is my assignment for now. I'm gonna make this woman my friend. And it happened. She got me.

[A]

That's actually crazy. I love that.

[B]

Yeah, it's.

[A]

It's cool when you know someone's gonna be your friend, like, you know it, like, in your gut.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? That's always a cool feeling.

[B]

Did you ever waver on our friendship in the beginning?

[A]

No.

[B]

I once threw a piece of bacon at a wall. We were getting dinner, and she got. So she asked for a salad. And this place had, like, crazy deconstructed salads for some reason. And they brought maybe crumpled up bacon or, like, pieces of bacon. You're like, that's not what I want. I wanted a slab of bacon or, like, a thick strip. A strip of bacon. They come back with, like, a thick cut of bacon. And she was like, that's not what I wanted. And she threw the bacon, and it hit the wall and slid down. And we were both silent for a minute. And then, like, after a few more bites, she was like, I probably overreacted. I was like, yes. Yes, you did. I'm so glad you knew that. But in that, you were like, I.

[A]

Never wavered on our friendship. I was like, like, whoa, what's that?

[B]

But I was like, okay, she's self aware. At least there's that. I will say I have adhd. This was before I was medicated. I was very impulsive, like, incredible. Like, more impulsive than I am now. So I would just do things and then later be like. Almost immediately be like, well, that wasn't the move. Well, I'm really.

[A]

Wait, so did you. Did you say. Did you say anything to the restaurant after or. Were you just like, I'm just gonna leave that bacon over there?

[B]

I think I picked it up and put it back on the plate and was like, this is still not the bacon I wanted.

[A]

That is just insane. I love, I love this friendship. It makes me so happy. You sitting there just completely wide eyed and you like, yeah, that was crazy.

[B]

Yeah, it was most of the beginning of our friendship where I was just like, wow, these are wild moves. I would never do that. But I support you.

[A]

I have a. I have. I have bad ADD too. We're similar in the.

[B]

Are you on. Are you medicated?

[A]

I was. I was deeply medicated. I was on tons of Adderall when I was a kid. And then now I got off it because I felt like it was actually like, I don't want to scare you, but I felt like I was like, I was. It was rotting my brain in a way.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

But are you on Adderall?

[B]

I'm on Vyvanse. Sometimes I'll do weed. Damn, she's bad. I said, damn, she's bad. Bad.

[A]

Yeah, Edibles are smoking.

[B]

Sometimes I'll do an edible and then fully forget I've taken the edible and be like, I feel wild. And then like, be walking around my house and be like, why do I feel like this? And I'll be like, oh, I took an edible. And then laugh and laugh and then absolutely laugh.

[A]

That's hilarious. The only time I took an edible, I ended up in Coachella medical tent.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Literally strapped to a bed because I was accusing the nurses of roofing me. Meanwhile, I took the edible myself. I was like, you guys did something to my system. They're like, no, love, you ended up here because of what you did to your system.

[B]

So funny. I went to the medical tent at Afropunk because I took an edible and I passed out.

[A]

You passed out?

[B]

I passed out. It's too hot. Didn't eat enough food. Took an edible, drink some wine. I was looking at Michelle Vito, like she was like in front of me talking and I was like, like, the words were getting slower. I was like, no. And like the light was like dimming. And I was like, I need to sit down. And she's like, huh? And then lights out. Woo wee. Yeah. Once we.

[A]

What did Michelle do?

[B]

Thankfully, she got people. She was like, help, help us. And then like this woman came and she's like, my dad's a doctor. Not a job, not a profession, but her dad's a doctor and she knows some stuff. So she like helped me out and like, like, got me some water. And then they walked me to a medical tin, like, gave me some snacks and stuff. We were once at a restaurant in New York, and we had eaten a bunch of edibles that somebody had brought. And at one point we were, like, laughing, having a nice time. And I looked in the corner, and so she was like. And I said to her partner at the time, I was like, oh, I think you gotta take her home. And then he, like, looked and went, yeah, it's time. Yeah, I had to stop doing weed because this doesn't agree with my body. I'll just go comatose. Yeah, I know, but I used to do it and go do things. We were trying to get on a plane to go to Canada, and I had eaten three cookies, three weed cookies from our. The third one in our group, Keisha. And I was, like, having a nice. I packed one item at a time for six hours. And then I didn't go to sleep. And I was like, oh, gotta go to the airport. And somehow we got to the airport at the same time.

[A]

So funny, you folding the shirt, being like, sam, that is a gorgeous fold. I work at American Eagle. Like, that's your vibe.

[B]

That was my vibe.

[A]

That is hilarious.

[B]

We got to the airport and it felt like you were high too, but you weren't. I was just sleepy. You were just sleepy? Yeah. And we had the worst conversations. One of them was, muffins are good. Yeah. And he went, yeah, muffins are good. And we just, like, giggled. There's like, a man in the elevator who's just staring at us. And then we passed a Chili's to Go. Just the signs of Chili's to Go. And we stopped and stopped dead in our tracks to stare at it. And you were like, chili's. And I was like, to go. And the man working went, waa. Cause I think he was like, they're both out of their minds. Then they held the flight for us, and we so mad. We were just, like, giggling on the flight. I was laughing so hard. I was like, I can't believe they held it for. And then sat down and promptly passed out.

[A]

Did you get your chilizigo?

[B]

No, we just were amazed that it even existed. And every time I see a chilizigo, I send her a video or a picture.

[A]

Wait, I. I didn't. Yeah, I. I'm actually kind of gobsed back by Chili's to Go.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. It's, I guess, like a sit down situation.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

You can take this to go. Maybe it's like, fajitas that are pre fajita'd.

[A]

Probably.

[B]

I just went to Chili's in Encino and had some of the best fajitas I've ever had in my whole life. There was a 30 minute wait. This Chili's was slam packed with people and. And truly one of the best fajita plates ever. Oh, my gosh.

[A]

You know what my favorite place on earth is?

[B]

What?

[A]

Outback Steakhouse.

[B]

I tried to go to Outback when we were in Mexico and everyone yelled at me.

[A]

It is amazing. I did a movie up in North Carolina, Wilmington. And the only place I went to every single night was Outback Steakhouse. And it was on. I'm obsessed.

[B]

Did you get a Bloomin Onion every time?

[A]

Of course.

[B]

I love a Blooming. So who came up with it? Put this big onion, cut it up wild, and then coat it up.

[A]

It's delicious.

[B]

It's so good.

[A]

Delish. I'm dying for it. I'm dying.

[B]

I do think we have to wrap up. We do. But I truly could talk to you.

[A]

Wait. I know. This was so much fun. This was so much fun.

[B]

I really love it.

[A]

This is amazing.

[B]

This is very fun.

[A]

This was so great. Thanks for having me.

[B]

Is there anything you want to promote? Your car got out of the pound.

[A]

Yeah. So not my car for this round. I want to promote BMW. I want to promote my show on Hulu fx. On Hulu. It's called Adults. And then I have a podcast, too. It's called in youn Dreams.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And you guys should come on.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You guys are coming on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. That's it.

[B]

Cool. All right, well, thank you for being here.

[A]

This is delightful.

[B]

I loved it.

[A]

Thanks for having me.

[B]

All right, well, that's it. Oh, man. We're done. Bye. Best Friends is a production of Headgum Studios. Our producer is Ali Khan. Our executive producer is Anya Koniskaya. The show is edited, mixed and engineered by the great Casey Donahue. That was a Headgum podcast. Hi, I'm Ilana Hope Levinson.

[A]

And I'm Dan o'.

[B]

Sullivan. And this is the Outfit, the new podcast from Higher Ground and Headgum.

[A]

We're two journalists who are slightly obsessed with the mob and organized crime and other nefarious stuff like that.

[B]

Every week, we're going to bring you a story about a mobster. Some you've heard of, some you definitely haven't. But all of them are going to help explain why America. America is like this, See, the mob.

[A]

Explains all sorts of things, from milk expiration dates to why we got into Cuba to Las Vegas gay bars.

[B]

Who knew?

[A]

Who knew the mob's involved.

[B]

All that and more. Subscribe to the Outfit wherever you get your podcasts and watch video episodes on YouTube. New episodes every Thursday.