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Caller/Listener
This is a headgun podcast.
Nicole Byer
Hello, Sasheer.
Sasheer Zamata
Hello, Nicole.
Nicole Byer
I can't get over Mike Tyson's ad in the Super Bowl.
Sasheer Zamata
It's really crazy. It's very funny.
Nicole Byer
It's one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my whole life. And then I was like, well, the comments must reflect how people must have found this to be so funny. The comments were not that. No, the comments were like, thank you, Mr. Tyson. Thank you. Thank you for saying the things that needed to be heard. And I truly was like, okay, we're all different.
Sasheer Zamata
Because I thought it was hilarious.
Nicole Byer
It was so funny. Yeah, it was. So we watched it yesterday because I saw, like, somebody posted. They were like, Mike Tyson did a Super bowl spot where he said he was so fat and nasty he wanted to kill himself. And I was like, well, that must be hyperbole.
Sasheer Zamata
No, that's literally what he said verbatim.
Nicole Byer
That man said, I was so fat and nasty, I wanted to kill myself. America's full of fudgy people. Fudgy people?
Sasheer Zamata
Fat and fudgy people or big and fudgy people? I can't remember.
Nicole Byer
Big fudgy people, I believe is what he said. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Do you think they actually had a script at first or they just let him go?
Nicole Byer
People are in my DMs because I posted it online. I posted on Instagram. I said, I can't believe this aired days ago and nobody told me about it. I don't know if I have a friend in the world. This is up my alley. And someone DM'd me and was like, my husband shot a commercial with him. He had one line, he could not say it.
Sasheer Zamata
That's funny.
Nicole Byer
Another person said they worked for NBC Sports or something. I don't know. I, I, I just read it, and they were like, they were waiting on the spot, and they were like, the spot was, like, delivered late. And then when they all finally saw it, they're like, what? The way he crunches on the apple and goes.
Sasheer Zamata
It's really aggressive. It's an aggressive crunch.
Nicole Byer
It is so ag. Everything about it. Can we watch it one more time? I'm so sorry.
Sasheer Zamata
No, not at all. It's also like, if I'm also like, what was on the cutting room floor? If that's what made it, they're like, this is the best we can do. We have to fill time.
Nicole Byer
I mean, it must be legendary. It must be something so funny that we're not ready for it.
Sasheer Zamata
I'm sure I wasn't ready for this at All.
Nicole Byer
I wasn't ready either, Sasheer. My mouth was open and I couldn't. I simply couldn't believe it. And it's in black and white. It looks here.
Sasheer Zamata
There was a single tear.
Nicole Byer
Single tear.
Sasheer Zamata
Like it's the. The tone's all over the place.
Nicole Byer
It sure is.
Sasheer Zamata
It seems like he's mad. Yes. But then he's crying.
Nicole Byer
Oh, my God. She died of obesity at 25 also. What is he looking at?
Caller/Listener
I was so fat, nasty anything.
Nicole Byer
I was like £345 when
Sasheer Zamata
I was like that. He wanted to kill myself.
Nicole Byer
Who's this person who appears at the end?
Sasheer Zamata
Is it his son or like another. I don't know, friend?
Nicole Byer
When he says the most obese, fudgy people, they cut to him laughing. I think the spider is a joke.
Sasheer Zamata
It feels like a joke. It feels like a parody.
Nicole Byer
It does.
Sasheer Zamata
It's.
Nicole Byer
He's not looking into the camera. At first, my sister thought of Will be Phoebe. And then they show him from different angles.
Sasheer Zamata
It is a lot.
Nicole Byer
It is art.
Sasheer Zamata
And this is a government ad. I couldn't believe it said real food.gov. i was like, what?
Nicole Byer
Wait, the government's not serious? Nobody's serious right now. It's really wild.
Sasheer Zamata
But it also makes me mad because I'm like, you guys want to talk about real food? Are you kidding me?
Nicole Byer
Yeah. Y' all have created food deserts and shit. You're the ones who don't regulate what the snack industry's putting in our snacks.
Sasheer Zamata
The companies don't have to reveal what chemicals they use anymore because of the government, because they don't require that anymore.
Nicole Byer
And then, isn't that the man who talks like this? What's his name?
Sasheer Zamata
Robert Kennedy?
Nicole Byer
Isn't he telling everybody to drink raw milk, which could kill you?
Sasheer Zamata
I didn't know that.
Nicole Byer
Oh, you didn't know there's a raw milk movement here?
Sasheer Zamata
I had no idea. I know. There was a beef tallow movement.
Nicole Byer
Beef tallow, raw milk and measles. We're on the up and up.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. Oh, I didn't know.
Nicole Byer
I have sent this spot to every single person I know.
Sasheer Zamata
It's very funny.
Nicole Byer
I went to dinner last night and they sent that video and I said, please be prepared to discuss.
Sasheer Zamata
Have your notes ready.
Nicole Byer
It's one of the best things I've ever seen. And honestly, this is my argument against AI. AI could never do that.
Sasheer Zamata
That's true. That's true.
Nicole Byer
AI could never. What prompts would you give AI to
Sasheer Zamata
give you fudgy people fat and nasty?
Nicole Byer
I wanted to Kill myself. No.
Sasheer Zamata
That's like, that's the beautiful erratic nature of humanity.
Nicole Byer
It really is.
Sasheer Zamata
Only a human can do that.
Nicole Byer
I'm like crying. This is going to get me through 2026.
Sasheer Zamata
Nice.
Nicole Byer
I'm going to watch it every day.
Sasheer Zamata
It's a really good way to start the year.
Nicole Byer
It's so funny. Crunch it. He m on that apple. And then the apple's so small.
Sasheer Zamata
And did he also bite a carrot?
Nicole Byer
He might have bite.
Sasheer Zamata
I feel like there's like three different food. Oh, wow.
Nicole Byer
What's bringing you joy today?
Sasheer Zamata
Let's bring you today. I mean, the sun's out for a little bit and that's nice. But then I'll go, truly, just a little bit. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I saw a chair that would not bring you joy today. It was one of those white plastic chairs and one of the legs was broken. And I said so. She would be so mad if she sat down and fell down.
Sasheer Zamata
I would be betrayed by a chair. I'd be very upset. What would you do if I fell down off a chair? I think I'd just be like, ouch. I don't know if I would do anything.
Nicole Byer
I'd leave.
Sasheer Zamata
Just leave completely.
Nicole Byer
I'd leave. I'd say, well, that's a wrap on me.
Sasheer Zamata
Can't be.
Nicole Byer
The Lord said, get out of here. Can't even sit in a chair. Gotta go.
Sasheer Zamata
I get that. Yeah. I went to, I was in Guatemala. Yes. And that was really fun. And I saw a restaurant that had chairs as decoration on the walls and the ceiling. And I was like, well, this is my favorite place.
Nicole Byer
Did it strike inspiration? Are you gonna buy chairs and hang them on the wall?
Sasheer Zamata
I don't think so. I, I, you know, of course I'm always like, how can I fit another chair in my house? But. And I have seen places that have them on the wall, but I feel like that's just too far. I just like, it's a bridge too far for me.
Nicole Byer
I think it's a bridge that's attainable. You don't have to do like full size chairs.
Sasheer Zamata
That's true.
Nicole Byer
If you could find children size chairs or like doll chairs that are funky and cool.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
You can put those on like a wall in your office.
Sasheer Zamata
That's true. But something about like doll size or children's size chairs are cute, but sometimes when I see them, I'm like, it looks haunted. Like it looks something about the energy. It just feels like, yeah, a child, Either a child or adult supposed to sit here. And I don't like that. I Don't know why.
Nicole Byer
It's very Annabelle coded. Yes. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. And just like an empty child's chair. It really feels like. What happened here?
Nicole Byer
Yeah. That's like baby shoes.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes.
Nicole Byer
Wait, what is it?
Sasheer Zamata
Never.
Nicole Byer
Never worn.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
For sale.
Sasheer Zamata
Never worn. Baby shoes. For sale. Never worn.
Nicole Byer
Oh, I can't believe that made me guffaw.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. The saddest sentence ever.
Nicole Byer
Well, don't count your chickens before they hatch. Don't buy baby shoes before it's here.
Sasheer Zamata
But what if it was here?
Nicole Byer
Oh, God. Ooh, that's tough.
Sasheer Zamata
Because if there's shoes this baby was able to walk, it, you know, like, is about to walk or maybe.
Nicole Byer
Well, no. People buy timbs for babies who can't walk.
Sasheer Zamata
They're not like, fresh babies.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, fresh babies get shoes.
Sasheer Zamata
No, but I feel like their feet
Nicole Byer
are all, like, people shove floppy shoes on them. Floppy ass feet. Yeah. You've never seen, like, a brand new baby with shoes, and you're like, oh. Oh, you're in shoes already.
Sasheer Zamata
I guess. I. I don't.
Nicole Byer
You're not really paying attention to babies.
Sasheer Zamata
I'm really not paying attention to babies.
Nicole Byer
I am paying so much attention. I love a baby. They smell so good. Their outfits are so cute. I got my cousin's daughter so many outfits that she got to wear maybe one time.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Because I was like, they're so adorable. And then I hopped on Etsy and bought a bunch of children's clothes in different sizes. And I was like, she'll grow. She'll grow into these. And I went over once, and she was wearing these adorable overalls. And I was like, oh. In my head, I was like, these are the cutest overalls I've ever fucking seen. I love kids clothes. And then she finally was like, those are the overalls you got her. And I was like, ah, yes. Okay, that explains why I like them.
Sasheer Zamata
That's fine.
Nicole Byer
These are.
Sasheer Zamata
Whoever got these are. They have good taste.
Nicole Byer
That's a good person. Oh, good eye.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. I saw these. Maybe I was shopping for, like, a baby shower gift or something, but I don't think I got it. But there's a brand that has clothes that will grow with a kid. No. What? Do you remember those popcorn shirts that were, like, popular in the 90s?
Nicole Byer
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
They're, like, stretchy, and I think they're coming back. So it's like that kind of material, like pants and shirt. So as a kid grows up a little bit more, they can still fit into that thing. And I'm like, everyone should get These like, this will save people so much money.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, it's very sustainable. But not a lot of, like, variety.
Sasheer Zamata
No, this is true. It's not a lot of variety.
Nicole Byer
It's like a Starburst all pink pack.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes. Yeah. It's like you look like a Teletubby. It's like one color.
Nicole Byer
You look like a Teletubby.
Sasheer Zamata
You're like, you're the purple one. You're the yellow. Oh, I didn't know you knew the names.
Nicole Byer
Tinky Winky for sure. Is the purple one okay? Because I was like, you've got the best name and purple's my favorite color. I believe Po is the red one.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay, that sounds right.
Nicole Byer
The yellow one. Steve Lala. Lala.
Caller/Listener
And then Dipsy.
Nicole Byer
Dipsy. He's green. Yeah. Oh, Tinky Winky.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Po Lala and Dipsy. I don't know, they sound like rappers.
Sasheer Zamata
They do actually.
Nicole Byer
Like, that's a rap group. Like. Yeah, they're good names.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. Do they have music on that show or they just like. Isn't that what they sound like?
Nicole Byer
I don't know anything about what they sound like. I just know that they romp around in a field and there's a baby in the sun. Yes, there is a baby in the sun.
Sasheer Zamata
Most, a lot of children's shows are like fever dreams.
Nicole Byer
Like, how.
Sasheer Zamata
What did they do? Like, where did the idea come from? Like, were they. Like, it really must have been a dream maybe.
Nicole Byer
Or someone's kid was like, and then. And then the red monster. And then. And then the pink, the purple one. And then they're like, the monsters look like, oh, they have weird humanish faces around these big. Yeah, I. I truly think children come up with these things. And then adults are like, well, I have, I have the reason I can make this.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. I think. I don't know, because part of me wants to be like, they, they must have like child psychologists involved that are like, oh, children really respond to these colors or like this kind of imagery or whatever. And then sometimes I'm like, I think people are just making things up and they're just like hoping K it maybe.
Nicole Byer
I know Ms. Rachel speaks the way she does because children actually do respond to it. They.
Sasheer Zamata
They like it probably.
Nicole Byer
Which is crazy. Cuz I always thought kids liked when you talk to them like normal people. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't know. I think they just like being talked to.
Nicole Byer
I think they do.
Sasheer Zamata
They just want to be seen.
Nicole Byer
They really do. Yeah. You know, it must be so hard being a kid. You're so small you're saying gibberish all the time. People don't get it. They're, like, annoyed by you.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. I feel like when we were kids, you didn't watch Nickelodeon that much. So I don't know.
Nicole Byer
Okay. You didn't have to say it like that. I grew up with.
Sasheer Zamata
How do you think I said it?
Nicole Byer
You were like, you just didn't watch it that much. Like, I had a choice. I grew up without Nickelodeon. We didn't have cable growing up. I couldn't do it. I just simply couldn't watch.
Sasheer Zamata
Why don't you just try harder? Try harder to watch it.
Nicole Byer
I couldn't. My parents pretended we were poor.
Sasheer Zamata
That's really funny.
Nicole Byer
It was awful. We drove everywhere. We never flew. When they died, I said, what? We could have been flying. We could have had cable.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, it's funny. It'd be funny if they had, like, a secret room where they got to enjoy all their money and then you just didn't see it.
Nicole Byer
That would be so crazy. Well, I mean, when my sister and I moved out, my dad did get cable, and I was like, this was mean. This was so rude. But go on about your Nickelodeon that you got to watch.
Sasheer Zamata
Well, just like, I feel like there was, like, a big, like, movement on the channel that was like, kids rights. Like, kids got. Kids deserve a voice, too. This is our. Our space to be kids and, like, speak up.
Nicole Byer
Speak up against what?
Sasheer Zamata
I don't know. I don't remember. But I do feel like that idea of, like, yeah, kids don't usually have a voice, or kids don't usually get a say or have a space for themselves. Nickelodeon was like, we got you.
Nicole Byer
Aw.
Sasheer Zamata
See this for you.
Nicole Byer
I remember I was at some kid's house, and Nickelodeon was on, and then there was just a title card that was like, go outside. And I was like, the one time I get to watch, just tell me to. Tell me to go outside.
Sasheer Zamata
That's really funny.
Nicole Byer
Like, really upset.
Sasheer Zamata
And now outside time.
Nicole Byer
And I remember it was during Gullah. Gullah Island.
Sasheer Zamata
I love that.
Nicole Byer
Or like, right after Gullah Gullah island, it was like, go outside. And I was like, well, all right.
Sasheer Zamata
Did you guys actually go outside?
Nicole Byer
No, I think we stayed in that basement. No, it was in a basement.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, Most things are in basement.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I feel like that's, like, a common kid space.
Nicole Byer
Parents are like, go get your ass.
Sasheer Zamata
Get downstairs. Either go outside.
Nicole Byer
And that's.
Sasheer Zamata
See, kids aren't being seen or heard.
Nicole Byer
No. They're being put in dungeons.
Sasheer Zamata
Go to the dungeon or go outside. To the streets.
Nicole Byer
To the streets. That's so funny. And, like, yeah, kids, places. All they have left is Chuck E. Cheese.
Sasheer Zamata
Is that even a thing still? Yeah, it is. I think it's pretty sure. Yeah. But, yeah, there's no Discovery Zone anymore.
Nicole Byer
No.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And I liked Discovery Zone.
Sasheer Zamata
Me too.
Nicole Byer
It was really fun.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
We had a place called the Liberty Science Center. I don't know if it still exists, but I feel like we would go every year on class trips, and they had a thing called the touch tunnel, where it was pitch black and you can only touch your way through it. It was scary.
Sasheer Zamata
Do you remember what the touch felt like? Like, what was it like? Soft, rigid, or the different types of touch?
Nicole Byer
I think it was different types of touch. But every time I went, a child would scream, and then they'd have to, like, pull them out of the middle.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, no. It was scary.
Nicole Byer
You were in pitch blackness. Yeah, pitch blackness.
Sasheer Zamata
Pitch black.
Nicole Byer
Pitch black.
Sasheer Zamata
Darkness.
Nicole Byer
Pitch darkness. I don't know. Both of those sound insane.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, I think it's. It's pitch black and then darkness. They're just two different things.
Nicole Byer
Yelling. They sound crazy. Pitch blackness.
Sasheer Zamata
Well, that does sound crazy, because darkness. No one says that. Like, why are you saying blackness?
Nicole Byer
Oh, pitch black.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah,
Caller/Listener
I don't.
Nicole Byer
I don't know.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, it does sound crazy. Why are you saying, like, I don't know.
Nicole Byer
Because it felt like that was the phrase until I said it, and then I didn't understand why it sounded so crazy until you were like, that's not it. Yeah. Boy, we got there. It's tough.
Sasheer Zamata
It's tough.
Nicole Byer
Oh, my God. Clyde went and got his. So Clyde had surgery, and he got his bandage changed today, and they sent him home with a bandage with chickens on it.
Sasheer Zamata
That's fun.
Nicole Byer
He's not a chicken. He's a brave little boy.
Sasheer Zamata
Do you think the bandage, like, the animal on the bandage is for, like, correlated to who the bandage is for? You think the chicken bandage only goes on chickens?
Nicole Byer
I didn't know what they were trying to infer about my good boy.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, you think chicken as in scared?
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, I see.
Nicole Byer
He's a brave little boy. Yeah. He's not a chicken. You thought I thought my dog was a chicken.
Sasheer Zamata
You thought the vet thought your dog was a chicken? My dog's not a chicken. He doesn't need chicken bandages.
Nicole Byer
If you stayed really calm, I would be like, wait, what? You think the vet thinks your dog is a chick? That was really kind. That was so kind that you were like, uh, oh, I think my Friend is having a crisis. She thinks. The animal specialists think her dog is a chicken, but we'll get to the bottom of why she thinks that. No, I thought, like, in Back to the Future, like, when Marty McFly is called a chicken, and he's like, ah, I hate that. I thought they were calling quite a chicken.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, yeah. Also, that's part. I mean, I don't know the reference because I don't remember Back to the Future that well. But also, that isn't just a phrase. Like, you're a chicken.
Nicole Byer
I know.
Sasheer Zamata
I. I understand it. That's like the Matrix all over again. You know that saying, ignorance is bliss from the Matrix?
Nicole Byer
Okay, maybe. I don't know that sayings are just a thing, I guess. I hear them in movies and I'm like. And that's why people say it. Well.
Sasheer Zamata
Well, sometimes. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Like that movie.
Sasheer Zamata
What are you doing that movie.
Nicole Byer
What is happening?
Sasheer Zamata
Why are you nodding your head like that?
Nicole Byer
That movie, they do this.
Sasheer Zamata
What is that?
Nicole Byer
There were hats. They ha.
Sasheer Zamata
What?
Nicole Byer
I don't.
Sasheer Zamata
That is. Give me more details.
Nicole Byer
There's two men.
Sasheer Zamata
There's two men, and they wear hats and their head banging. And I have the Roxburgh.
Nicole Byer
They're in the car, and they're singing that song. I see a little silhouette of a kind. Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew. Really?
Sasheer Zamata
Really.
Nicole Byer
Sighting everyone's. They're wearing hats.
Sasheer Zamata
Wayne's World.
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay. One has a hat.
Nicole Byer
Oh, only one.
Sasheer Zamata
Mm.
Nicole Byer
Interesting. So there's a bunch of stuff in that movie that's, like, part of pop culture that I think came from that movie. And I don't think they're, like, things that were around before.
Sasheer Zamata
Ooh, okay.
Nicole Byer
But maybe they were.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't know.
Nicole Byer
Maybe.
Sasheer Zamata
But I do think. I think you're right. Sometimes movies do inspire language.
Nicole Byer
But everything I'm saying is just a thing that's been around.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. But that's okay.
Nicole Byer
That was really tough that you didn't know that movie. I thought I was giving you a really good hint.
Sasheer Zamata
This. This part was hard. The head. The head banging was hard.
Nicole Byer
Are they doing that in the car? Aren't they?
Sasheer Zamata
Like, I can see a visual of that. Yeah.
Nicole Byer
As if. Yes, they say. And I always thought it was from Clueless.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, they say in the. Wayne's World.
Nicole Byer
Huh?
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, yeah.
Nicole Byer
And then they said something else that I was like, whoa, that's from something else. It really blew me away. I said, wow, this movie. Inspirational to all.
Sasheer Zamata
It really started everything, and I had never seen it. When did you see it? Recently.
Nicole Byer
I think I saw it. Last year I did a stage reading of it.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, that's right.
Nicole Byer
And I was like, well, I should watch the source material. And that's how I saw the Goonies. Cause I did a stage reading of the Goonies. I had never seen the Goonies. And I was like, whoa, this is what people are referencing sometimes in improv stuff.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, a lot of people have liked and enjoyed the Goonies and it sticks with them. And I still haven't seen it.
Nicole Byer
Oh, you haven't. You don't need to. I really don't think you do. Yeah, I think people, people might say you really do need to, but I think it's like one of those. It's like a kids movie that I think sticks with you when you're a kid. Yeah, like the Sandlot. I loved the Sandlot. Yeah, some people haven't seen it and I'm like, I don't know if it's worth it.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, I haven't seen it either.
Nicole Byer
Oh well, you have to take a break.
Sasheer Zamata
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Sasheer Zamata
From visionary creator Kenya Barris, who created Blackish, comes Big Age, the hilarious and heartwarming Audible original comedy about love, aging and finding your own way in life's next chapter. Big Age stars comedy legends Jennifer Lewis, Cedric the Entertainer and Niecy Nash Betts. Big Age follows recently retired couple Dot and Butch Watts reluctant relocation to their new Floridian home, Sunset Gardens, a senior community that is anything but relaxing. In Barris's retirement community, Dot and Butch encounter a parade of unforgettable personalities who push their 50 year marriage to the limit. There's Butch's flirtatious ex flame Ethel, played by Nash Betts, spiritually possessed neighbors, pesky pill pushing couples and the ferociously competitive Stevenator. Through its blend of outrageous comedy, Key Party anyone and touching revelations, Big Age explores what it means to grow older without growing old at heart. Listen to Kenya Barris new Laugh Out Loud Audible original comedy Big Age starring Jennifer Lewis, Cedric the Entertainer and Niecy Nash Betts. Big Age Age does funny things. Go to audible.com bigage series to start listening today.
Nicole Byer
Support for this podcast is brought to you by Chamberlain University. Okay, let's talk about health care for a second. It's not just a job, it is a whole calling. It takes a special kind of person to do it. But I think a lot of us get stuck in that like, dreaming phase. And if you're sitting there thinking I really want to be a nurse or I really want to take my nursing career to the next level but you're scared to make the jump. Stop sitting on that feeling. You need the right people in your corner. And it starts with Chamberlain University. They have been preparing healthcare professionals for over 135 years. As the nation's largest nursing school, they actually have the resources to support you. And look, they know you have a life outside of school. That's why they have fully flexible options, whether you need online classes, hybrid learning, or evening and weekend schedules. Plus, classes start every eight weeks, so you can start when it works for you. They build a program around your life so you don't have to quit your job just to chase your dream. So stop waiting for someday. Learn more at Chamberlain. Edu Chamberlain University belong to something greater. Certified to operate by shiv. And. Oh, we're back. I think I glued my eyelash too close to my waterline.
Sasheer Zamata
Does it hurt?
Nicole Byer
No, but it's making my eye tear a little bit.
Sasheer Zamata
I'm sorry. It is annoying. Like, how affected my eyes get by tiny things like lint or dust or. And I'm like, what are the lashes for? Aren't they supposed to be guarding? On guard?
Nicole Byer
They are supposed to be on guarding,
Sasheer Zamata
and they're not keeping anything out. And sometimes they themselves get in my eye, girl.
Nicole Byer
All the fucking time.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes.
Nicole Byer
They'll just be turned the other way. Just like windshield wipering my fucking eyeball. And I'm like, what are we doing? Get a grip.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, do your job.
Nicole Byer
Go out. And then I'd get, like, an eyelash curler. And then sometimes it just won't do it. So then I'll have to, like, tweeze that.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, God.
Nicole Byer
And I don't have enough eyelashes for that.
Sasheer Zamata
No. How much, like, when an eyelash falls out or comes out, how long does it take for another one to grow back?
Nicole Byer
Ally. Ally. I don't know, because I ripped out a lot of eyelashes in my 20s.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Just like, gluing lashes right on the lash.
Caller/Listener
It takes about six to 12 weeks, although that. They can begin to show visible growth in as little as three to four weeks.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay. Which is also funny because I've never seen, like, a short eyelash on my. I guess I don't study my eyelashes. But, like, you know, if, like, one is growing, I've never seen one that looks shorter than the rest that I'm. That makes sense.
Nicole Byer
Well, they're so tiny and thin that, like. Let me see. Well, you moved so much, I really couldn't get a look.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay, look up.
Nicole Byer
That's a tough case to crack. You know how sometimes you like, offer to do something. You're like, I don't know.
Caller/Listener
I don't know.
Nicole Byer
I don't know. I don't know.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't know. I don't know how to do this.
Nicole Byer
I don't know. And then you're like, hey, you didn't do that, right? Give me another chance. And then you did it. And I was like, I don't fucking know.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay, well, I think an eyelash. I found an eyelash on my face either today or yesterday. And so I'll just keep an eye on it, see if anything starts growing.
Nicole Byer
Keep eye on the situation, see if anything develops. That's so funny. Have you ever tried, like, Latisse?
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, no. But.
Nicole Byer
Oh, no. I guess I just.
Sasheer Zamata
My brain was like, I've heard of that. Oh, yeah. I remember this being a thing. No, but I did not try it. But I have tried other types of things like that. They're, like liquid that you put on the eyelash line. And I don't know if they ever worked.
Nicole Byer
I don't know if they ever work either. And I think I'm just gonna, like, give up. Do it, like, trying to improve myself. Well, I was watching something and I was like, ooh, I don't think I'm ever going to do Botox. And, like, no shade to people who do it. But I was like, I don't. I think. I think I want to, like, look my age. And then I really like my laugh lines. I was staring at them the other day and I was like, it's because I've laughed so much.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And I smile so much. So I like that.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, me too.
Nicole Byer
And then my little crinkles here. It's because I was
Sasheer Zamata
smiling so hard.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. Oh, my God. And I was watching Spider Man 2 last night, and there was a couple characters that I was like, ooh, you full of Botox. Early adopters. I was like, I don't. I don't want that.
Sasheer Zamata
Because you can always tell.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. Also Alfred Molina, a star.
Sasheer Zamata
Who's that?
Nicole Byer
He is Dr. October.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, he is, right? Yeah.
Nicole Byer
He's so good in it.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And then there's one shot where Tobey Maguire lands on his back and his dick looks huge. Ooh. And I was like, whoa, is that real? Is that cgi?
Sasheer Zamata
Or maybe they put, like, a cup. Is he wearing his suit?
Nicole Byer
He is wearing his Spider man suit.
Sasheer Zamata
I would assume they'd probably put a cup or something in the suit.
Nicole Byer
I would assume it's like, bow.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, it's loose.
Nicole Byer
It's the juice. Is Loose. I can't stop saying it. It's my favorite phrase to say when Clyde is out, since he can't move around too much. Me and that nice man, we say the juice is loose to be like, move slowly to not excite him so you can get him. But yeah, it's a fun thing. But yeah, to him. Why is juice is loose? Well, it's huge.
Sasheer Zamata
Well, yeah.
Nicole Byer
Maybe I should have taken a screenshot so then I could have like Google image search it to be like, is this really Toby Maguire's penis? Do you think Google would tell me?
Sasheer Zamata
I don't know how they would have. I don't know how they'd have verification of that. Like, how would they know?
Nicole Byer
Nah, you're right. Probably not though.
Sasheer Zamata
Because our friend Tess was trying to look up. What was she trying to look up? Like a football players relationship status or something like that. And the AI prompt was like. Like the. Their. Their personal relationship status is private or something like that. And she was like, damn.
Nicole Byer
Which is very funny for AI to be like, excuse you, nosy bitch.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes. Could you have some respect for their privacy?
Nicole Byer
It's so funny. Ooh, Sasheer, Did I tell you I altered a bunch of sweatshirts? Did I tell you this yesterday?
Sasheer Zamata
No.
Nicole Byer
Oh. So what I did was I cropped sweatshirts.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I cut them to nine inches from the armpit. Cause that seems to be the optimal length that I like.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Nicole Byer
So I cut them and then I took the bottoms and I cut the band, like close to the band. And then I sewed them to the edge that I cropped so the edges aren't. Like, they won't fray. And it looks like that's how it came.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, my goodness.
Nicole Byer
It took me maybe 45 minutes to an hour to cut them all, and then an hour and a half to sew. I think I did six or seven of them.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Call me a factory. I'm hitting the quotas.
Sasheer Zamata
That's amazing. Thank you.
Nicole Byer
And I bought one sweatshirt that was pretty cheap. And I was like, that will be my practice one. And then I was like, I don't like this sweatshirt. So if it turns out good, I won't wear it. And I'm gonna be mad about it. I'm just gonna go for it. So I went for it and I fucked up that first one.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay.
Nicole Byer
I really, really fucked it up. It looks like when I tried it on, it looks like it's just twisted. And I said, well, that's what it is. I don't know how to fix it. Cause I tried Seam ripping it and it frayed. Cause it's vintage and kind of old. And I was like, well, that's what that is. But I learned on that first one that when you're sewing something with an elastic band and then the bottom of a sweatshirt is smaller than the middle of it, so you have to pull the band as you're running it through the machine.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I felt so smart. I was like, wow. I like figured that out. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
Good job.
Nicole Byer
Thank you. I was so deeply proud of myself.
Sasheer Zamata
I'm proud of you too.
Nicole Byer
Thank you. I've been putting off making pants because I got about all this, like, incredible fabric to make, like little cute sets. And I know it's just gonna. It's gonna take me probably an hour to cut the pattern.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And then may probably an hour and a half. Cutting the pattern really sucks. And then sewing it will probably take me 45 minutes to an hour. And then I'll just have fucking new pants.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. I feel like we keep talking about having like a craft day or something where people bring over their projects and we just do it like co working, like around each other. We should do that.
Nicole Byer
We should. Because then I could get some done.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, you do your pants. What do I want to do? So something.
Nicole Byer
So something.
Sasheer Zamata
I do have a bag of things that like, need mending. Like, they have. They have holes in it or whatever, and I just haven't gotten to it.
Nicole Byer
I can mend. Probably not well, though.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, I can mend. I just don't do it because they're just sitting in the bag. And I'm like, I'll get to that later.
Nicole Byer
I was also proud of myself because, you know, Godoy, he got me chalk to like mark things and it was very, very sweet. And I was like, I need to use this gift.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Because it's a gift that's useful and I want to use it and I used it. And I was so proud of myself. Yay.
Sasheer Zamata
Good job.
Nicole Byer
I feel so good. I felt so accomplished.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. I mean, you literally accomplished something.
Nicole Byer
Ugh. I gotta get back into it and I really. Do you ever, like, do something small and then you go, I can be in the big leagues. I can fucking do this.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes.
Nicole Byer
I can take a swing. I really wanna make a jumpsuit. And I know that that is. That won't be an hour long process. That will be like a days long process. Yeah. And the thought of it is really daunting because I'm like, I don't want to abandon it.
Sasheer Zamata
Mm.
Nicole Byer
Do you know what I mean? I Don't want to start it and then, like, be like, whatever.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, I believe in you.
Nicole Byer
Thanks. And then I'll have to learn how to do, like, zippers and pockets and stuff. Also threading a fucking sewing machine with acrylic nails.
Sasheer Zamata
Ooh,
Nicole Byer
I'm an athlete. I was sweating. It was hard.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And also, I don't know who I have to talk to. Threading. The hole in the needle is so fucking tiny.
Sasheer Zamata
It is?
Nicole Byer
For what? Why can't it be bigger and adjustable or something?
Sasheer Zamata
I don't know. I'm not really sure.
Nicole Byer
I was, like, squinting. I was this close. I was, like, in it.
Sasheer Zamata
I wonder if you can use tweezers.
Nicole Byer
H. You. I hate you. Oh, that probably would have been. It never occurred to me. And it would have probably made my life so much easier than. I don't want to be here anymore. I want to go home. That was so upsetting. I hate when the answer is there and it just doesn't occur to me. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I'm sorry.
Nicole Byer
I'm so king.
Sasheer Zamata
Well, but now you know. Now that. Now you know that's an option.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
And you did figure it out. You did thread it.
Nicole Byer
My time would have been just. I could have really churned through more.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
If I didn't. If I wasn't hunched over trying to thread the needle. Oh, my God.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, I understand.
Nicole Byer
Pretty upset.
Sasheer Zamata
Do you recognize this sweatshirt?
Nicole Byer
Of course I do. It used to belong to me. Yeah, and it was too small.
Sasheer Zamata
I like it.
Nicole Byer
I love it. It's a. I thought it was just a straight up duck, but Tess said
Sasheer Zamata
it was a loon.
Nicole Byer
A loon. Which is from heated rivalry. I mean, the world.
Sasheer Zamata
No, it's only on heated rivalry, but
Nicole Byer
that's how I know a loon. Because there's loons being heard in the last episode, and Ilya's, like, scared of the loons, and then. Wait, what's the other one's name?
Sasheer Zamata
Hollander.
Nicole Byer
Hollander. He does a bird call, but not a loon burn call. Not a loon bird call. It's like they're predators or something.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, I thought it was a loon call, but it meant, like, back off.
Nicole Byer
Oh, maybe. Hey.
Sasheer Zamata
Or something like that.
Nicole Byer
I don't know. People tell me things, and I just. I keep them in my head until I say them wrong out loud.
Sasheer Zamata
Maybe it was a predator, but whatever it was is to protect Illiot, which is so sweet.
Nicole Byer
So, so fucking sweet. Heat arrival is so sweet.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Oh, my God, the author. Oh, wait, maybe I shouldn't say it.
Caller/Listener
We talked about it.
Nicole Byer
Oh, we did.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Nicole Byer
Oh, okay, then I don't have to say it again.
Sasheer Zamata
What was it?
Nicole Byer
Oh, just the author of Heat at ivaly. I reached out. She's gonna do why Won't yout Date Me? And I'm really excited to talk to her.
Sasheer Zamata
I don't think I knew that. Oh, did we talk about that?
Caller/Listener
We did. We did.
Nicole Byer
Oh, I forgot. Oh, Mom. Fun that my best friend doesn't listen to me.
Sasheer Zamata
I do.
Nicole Byer
It's really, really cool.
Sasheer Zamata
It's really, really, really cool. I forgot.
Nicole Byer
Oh, this is a continuation of talking about LA dwp. So the day yesterday. So two days. Two days ago. Had a man come out, fix my shit. Was like, it was our side. Hopefully they'll refund you. That was two days ago. Today, instead of adjusting my payment because it's on autopay, they just processed it and they never send me an email. And they sent me an email and said, thank you for your money. I was like, are you. Are you trolling me?
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Ooh. So now I gotta get on. I gotta get on their dicks and I gotta get my fucking money back.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes. That's crazy.
Nicole Byer
It was wild. I was like, what? Why are you thanking me? You should have adjusted this pay period.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes.
Nicole Byer
I have to go to war with them.
Sasheer Zamata
I really. I'm sorry.
Nicole Byer
I can't believe so many businesses want to do me wrong.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Air Bungee Fitness. La. Wp, glow. Modern Dentistry.
Sasheer Zamata
I'm gonna have to go to war soon, too, because.
Nicole Byer
Oh,
Sasheer Zamata
I was acknowledging that.
Nicole Byer
I think I know what you're about to say, but I was waiting for you to say it, and my. My O was maybe slightly too big.
Sasheer Zamata
No, no. It might be appropriate. But I was like, do you know, I think windows.
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes. So the windows I got installed, they won't keep. They won't stop bothering me or let the windows keep causing problems. So I have a leak that is going from my deck to the bedroom underneath it, and I couldn't figure out where the water was coming from. The roof guy came over and was like, coming from the door that got installed here. And he's like, yeah, they didn't properly seal it. And then he started looking at other stuff too, and he's like, they didn't really seal a lot of these. And so my girlfriend looked it up, and your home insurance can sue a company to make them pay for damage that they caused, so. Or like, that came from the work that they did. And I was like, I don't want to do that. But my girlfriend likes to fight.
Nicole Byer
There you go.
Sasheer Zamata
She's going to do it.
Nicole Byer
That's lovely. I mean, she doesn't even have to, because it goes through your insurance.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
When I got sued because my lovely dog bit somebody.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, yeah.
Nicole Byer
I don't know if we talked about it on this, but I've talked about it on. Why won't you date me, Clyde?
Sasheer Zamata
Bitch.
Nicole Byer
A server at a club. And then she sued me, and I was like, oh, my God. But then homeowners insurance covers pets, so they're the ones who dealt with everything and just, like, kept me in the loop with the payout and, like, the status of things. So honestly, I think you just talk to your insurance, and then your insurance does it.
Sasheer Zamata
Okay, great.
Nicole Byer
They. They are. They're paid every month, and then they finally work for you when things like
Sasheer Zamata
this happen, I mean. Yeah, it's like, please, this is. This is what I'm paying you for. You do it.
Nicole Byer
That is so annoying, though, because it's like, I don't know how to build.
Sasheer Zamata
I know.
Nicole Byer
You said you did.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, I trusted you.
Nicole Byer
Your door people. You do doors?
Sasheer Zamata
Yes, I did specifically ask, are you waterproofing this? And they're like, yep, they didn't. And I can tell is exposed wood. It's crazy.
Nicole Byer
Oh, that sucks.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I'm sorry. Yeah, it really. It just. It's not fun. I have a leak in my garage, and I was told that it was waterproofed and whatnot and had a contractor come, and they were like, it is not waterproofed. The people who lived there before me didn't waterproof a single thing because they lived there from 1995. I shouldn't tell other whatever. 95 to when I moved in, when the weather wasn't as rainy. So I think they were like, we don't need to waterproof anything. Yeah, but big old leaks, and it's fun. A year from today, who do you want to be? What version of yourself would you like to meet? Do you feel less anxious? Do you feel more like yourself? Maybe your relationship is stronger or the grief feels smaller. What if that thing you've been secretly worried about just took up less space in your mind? The right therapist can help you get there. Alma will help you find them. Alma has a directory of 20,000 therapists with different specialties, life experiences and identities, and 99% of them take insurance. You deserve to feel like the future version of yourself. A year from today isn't that far away. Get started now at hello, Alma.com/best friends. That's hello.com/b e s T F R I E N D as
Sasheer Zamata
starting something new isn't just hard, it's terrifying. So much work goes into this thing that you're not entirely sure will work out, and it can be hard to make that leap of faith. Trust me, I know. When we started this podcast, we weren't even sure what we were doing. What if no one listens? What if I make a fool out of myself? Now I know that we were right and believing in ourselves despite all the fears and hesitations. It also helps when you have a partner like Shopify on your side to help. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like road skims and rare beauty to brands that are just getting started. Get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style. Accelerate your efficiency. Whether you're uploading new products or trying to improve existing ones, Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write prompts, product descriptions, page headlines, and even enhance your product photography. Get the word out like you have a marketing team behind you. Easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling. Best yet, Shopify is your commerce expert with world class expertise in everything from managing inventory to international shipping to processing returns and beyond. What if people haven't heard about my brand? Shopify helps you find your customers with easy to run email and social media campaigns. And what if I get stuck? Shopify is always around to share advice with their award winning 24. 7 customer support. Tackle all those important tasks in one place from inventory to payments to analytics and more. No need to save multiple websites or try to figure out what platform is hosting the tool that you need. Everything is all in one place, making your life easier and your business operations smoother. And did I mention that iconic purple shop pay button that's used by millions of businesses around the world? It's why Shopify Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet. It also helps boost conversions, meaning less carts going abandoned and more sales for you. It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com Best friends go to shopify.com Best friends that's shopify.com Bestfriend friends
Nicole Byer
There's a lot of discussion about the effects of GLP1s nowadays with regards to weight loss, but there are a lot of other potential benefits to consider as well that can impact your health journey. Not only can patients lose weight using robody, but they can also expect to have better lab numbers, more energy, new levels of confidence and more benefits that go beyond the scale. RO offers the First FDA approved GLP1 pill for weight loss at the Lowest cost around the new GLP1 pill has the same weight loss ingredients as the shot and packs comparable results to the shot. It can help patients lose 14% of their body weight in a year on average. That's one daily pill for fewer cravings and feeling fuller. With an innovative new formula clinically proven to maximize weight loss. The new FDA approved GLP1 is available for $149 for the first dose in addition to your RO membership fee and $299 a month for higher doses. The robody membership includes access to FDA approved GLP1s, unlimited provider messaging, side effect management and more, all for just $45 for your first month and $145 a month thereafter. The RO membership fee excludes the cost of GLP1 medication. In addition to the newly approved pill, RO also offers a full suite of the most effective brand name FDA approved GLP1s all at the lowest cost. RO offers the lowest cost GLP1s. Whether you're using insurance or paying cash, after your first online visit, you're eligible for treatment. You can expect to start your medication in less than a week if paying cash, or about two weeks if using insurance. If this is something that you've been thinking about doing something that like a journey, a weight loss journey that you really want to go on. I really do think ROW is a good option and you know a weight loss journey is a hard thing to do. And maybe you could find someone that you know who's been on a GLP1 and you can speak to them because friends are who you need in life. Go to RO Best Friends to see if you're eligible for the new GLP1 pill on RO. That's RO CEO/Best Friends. To get started on RO, go to RO Safety for boxed warning and full safety information about GLP1 medications based on study and non diabetics with obesity or overweight plus a weight related condition with diet and exercise. I've had to do so much water stuff at my at my place that like they tell you like the American dream is own a home, have kids, get married, rent, rent, rent as long as you can. It's so wild like Unless you have the funds to, like, cover shit like when people buy a home. I was talking to my friend about this, and she was talking about a house that she, like, wanted to buy. And I was like, I honestly think you should, like, have cash on hand for what the house is worth. And she was like, that's crazy. And I was like, it might be crazy, but you want a rainy day fund for, like, if either of you, your partner loses their job, you want money for repairs, you want money for, you know, life stuff. You want to decorate the house. I was like, I think you need to have a huge surplus of cash when you buy a house. And nobody tells you that. Yeah, they're like, do you have the down payment? And I'm like, no, no, no. Yeah, maybe not like the full amount of the house, but you should have, like, you should always put 20 down. One, two. I think you should have like, maybe 50. 50% of the house. And I don't know.
Sasheer Zamata
I agree with that.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I mean, as soon as I moved in, like, pretty quickly I had to replace the roof.
Nicole Byer
It's crazy.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
You move in and you're like, I love this house. And it's like, hey, your roof is gonna kill you.
Sasheer Zamata
We have issues.
Nicole Byer
Hey, your pipes all need to be replaced. Your chimney, a thing that you've never thought of.
Sasheer Zamata
There's a crack in a valve and you're like, what?
Nicole Byer
Yeah, it's wild.
Sasheer Zamata
It's wild.
Nicole Byer
And I just noticed there's a hole on a part of my roof and I have clay tiles.
Sasheer Zamata
So.
Nicole Byer
Clay tiles, I guess are fragile, but they look beautiful. So I need to get that repaired. It's never ending.
Sasheer Zamata
It really is never ending.
Nicole Byer
But also, it's a. There's worse things in the world.
Sasheer Zamata
That's true.
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
I feel very fortunate that I have a house and a roof over my head. A house that I love.
Nicole Byer
Same, same, same, same. I. You were there. I cleaned out so much old clothing and stuff that, like, doesn't fit and whatnot. And I just noticed there's a good looking thrift store or vintage store across the street. And I was like, ooh, I gotta get in there. And then I was like, for what? Nicole? You don't.
Sasheer Zamata
You just got rid of stuff.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, but when there's room, I'm like, gotta fill the room. There's. There's a little gap on that bar. You gotta hang stuff up.
Sasheer Zamata
No, just spread it out.
Nicole Byer
I know, I know. It's sick
Sasheer Zamata
because also, your closet was packed. Like, packed to the brim. Let your Bra. Let your clothes breathe a little bit. Spread that out.
Nicole Byer
I know. And it was wild after you left. There was so much stuff in my closet that I was like, I've never seen this before. And it is wild whenever friends wear things I've given them. Sometimes it didn't happen with this because I've had that for a long time. And it just never fit the way I wanted it to. And I was like, I don't know if green's my color. Yeah. I went. It was a lot of back and forth and I was like, let it go. But things that I love that don't fit. Like, I gave Tess this really incredible purple jumpsuit with gold stars on it. And I just loved it. And I was like, I'll alter it. I'm not gonna. I'm not going to. That's above me. Because I'd have to find fabric, cut the seams. It was just too much for me to actually do and test. Wore it to dinner and I was like, it looks so good on you. And it did. It looks so good on her because it fucking fit her.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And I was glad that it has a life and it gets to be worn because it's so amazing. But I was like, it should have been me. It should have been me.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. That is hard.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. Because I find such good stuff.
Sasheer Zamata
You do? Yeah. I gave a bunch of stuff to our friend Joyell in New York. And there was a period where she would wear all of it at the same time. And she had an afro and I did, too. And, like, there was like a moment where I saw her at a show
Nicole Byer
and I was like, whoa, this is crazy.
Sasheer Zamata
Am I standing over there?
Nicole Byer
Is that me? Am I now very tall? That's so funny.
Sasheer Zamata
That's really funny. Not all at the same time, please. I wonder.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. Tess could probably be head to toe. Tess has so much of my stuff. I think she could be head to toe. And then I gave Tessa this little jumpsuit with flowers on it. Man, it looks so cute on her. And that was another one that I was like, it should have been me, but jumpsuits are hard. Thrifting a jumpsuit. Super, super hard. But I just found this amazing farm Rio jumpsuit.
Sasheer Zamata
Ooh.
Nicole Byer
I just. It, like, fell on my lap in depop. And it was like, under a hundred dollars. And I was like, well, I have to get it. I have to just chance it. It might not fit. But it might fit. I put it on. I was like, woo. She's snug as hell. So I bought A second one in a smaller size. And I am going to figure out because it fits at the waist, so I. And it fits. It fits everywhere. It's just slightly too small. And I think I'm going to be able to figure out how to cut that seam, take the other one, not cut on the seam, cut on the parallel to the seam, and then sew it. So I've created a new seam. Wish me luck.
Sasheer Zamata
Good luck, girl.
Nicole Byer
Thank you. And it's already been altered because I found the original one, and it has sleeves, but the one I have doesn't have sleeves. And I was like, she's already been altered, and I'm gonna do more to it.
Sasheer Zamata
And when you cut the other one to use it as a seam, you could maybe cut the top off, make it a little shirt or something.
Nicole Byer
Ooh, maybe I will do that.
Sasheer Zamata
She's got, like, a whole jumpsuit to use.
Nicole Byer
You're right. And it's like a patchworky jumpsuit. So, like, she's gonna. She's this new life that this jumpsuit's gonna get is gonna be good. She's gonna be so happy. Yeah. She's gonna say, wow. Wow. Should we answer questions?
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Caller/Listener
Hi, Sashira.
Sasheer Zamata
Nicole.
Caller/Listener
I'm a woman in my mid-30s and first friend breakup. Obviously, I've had friendships fizzle out or grow distant before, but this was different. I feel okay about how I handled my end of things, but am interested in your opinions. My family. I have a husband and a young teen kid, and I moved long distance within the US A little over a year ago. I made a friend by going to a book club who suggested I try Bumble BFF to meet more people. That's how I met this now former friend. Our first meetup was to go for a walk in a park. I got lost since I was new to the area and was late, but she was cool about it. The more we hung out, though, I realized she was really negative and judgy. I wasn't having fun with her. I didn't want to invite her to hang out with other friends I was making. I didn't have a reason to ghost her because she had never been mean to me, but she. And she even gave me a thoughtful birthday gift. I tried to do nice things for her in return, but more often than not, she would decline. And I wouldn't push the issue too much. She does a lot of flipping stuff on ebay, Facebook, marketplace, et cetera. And she had gotten a lot of stuff from helping a relative who was helping or she got a lot of stuff from helping a relative who was downsizing their home, including a bunch of equipment for Onstage audio production. My husband has worked over 10 years at a musical instrument store and then in parentheses yes, the big corporate one you're thinking of and my friend was often asking me to help him get her My friend was often asking me to get him to help her test up or test stuff or sell it to his job's used department. He had met her a few times and didn't like her for the same reasons I wasn't fond of her. He works really hard and mentally needs his time off to be spent on home responsibilities or leisure, so I wouldn't even ask him and I'd help her as best as I could with my own limited knowledge of the subject. I would discourage her from going to his job on his days off because I didn't want to add things he would need to catch up on because they were busy with customers while he was away. This past weekend we were going through this routine of her texting me to ask for my husband's help. After a while of me giving her different suggestions of how to deal with it that wouldn't take up his or his store's time, she made a bitchy comment about one of his hobbies saying he must be too busy to help a friend. I said she didn't have to be snippy about it and I was trying to help her while protecting my partner's peace of mind. She said she was looking for a ride or die friendship, but she realizes she she's all alone in this world. I said if there was a way I failed to be there for her that wasn't about my husband and her audio equipment. That I'm sorry and we could talk about it. She didn't reply for a couple days, so I texted that I'm sorry she's feeling isolated and like she can't depend on people, but based on the negative way she talks about everything and everyone, she might want to reconsider her expectations of relationships. That was a few days ago and as far as I know, that's the end of it. Anyway, sorry for the long story, but that's all the relevant details. Thanks for the pod and all your other entertaining delights. I shrieked with delight watching Long story short, when Kendra's hostage negotiator girlfriend had Sasheer's voice.
Nicole Byer
Wait, did she say yeah, Is there a question?
Sasheer Zamata
I guess how should she feel about
Caller/Listener
yeah, I think she just wanted to know your take on the friendship breakup oh, if she did the right thing.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
The last thing was that she said, like, your negative energy was it.
Caller/Listener
Yeah, she said. She said that she didn't have to be sniffy about it and she was trying about her husband and she was trying to help her while protecting her partner's peace of mind. She said she was looking for a ride or die friendship but realizes she's all alone in this world. I said if there's a way I'd failed to be there for her that wasn't a about my husband and her audio equipment, then I'm sorry and we could talk about it. She didn't reply, so I texted saying I'm sorry. She's feeling isolated and like she can't depend on people, but based on the negative way she talks about everything and everyone, she might want to reconsider her expectations of relationships. That was a few days ago and as far as I know, that's the end of it.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, I think it was handled pretty well.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I mean, anybody who responds with there's nobody in the world for me is rather dramatic and not for me, it's a little dramatic.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. I don't know if text was the best way to communicate that last part, but also whatever.
Nicole Byer
I think protect your piece. Yeah. I think sometimes when you're like, this person is not only like asking a lot from me, but asking a lot from my partner.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Maybe we don't need to have a phone call or a sit down or nothing. Maybe we just text and you respond how you respond and I can just like keep distance.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
Person sounds like a. I almost said a culture vulture, but I. I mean like a. Oh, an energy vamp.
Sasheer Zamata
Vampire. Yeah, yeah, definitely.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
And very like, there's a huge lack of self awareness and it's asking for too much. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's totally fine to like keep your distance and she'll either figure it out. She won't, but it's okay.
Nicole Byer
So.
Caller/Listener
Okay. This is called question for best DND Drama. Hi, Nicole and Sashir, first time writer, longtime fan, etc. Etc. Love y'.
Sasheer Zamata
All.
Caller/Listener
This question is about Dungeons and Dragons, but really it's about friendship. My partner and our friends have a DND group that's been running a campaign for a little over a year. One friend, let's call her best friend Betsy, has been annoying some members of the group. We love her a lot, but she can be a bit immature. I guess when we're scheduling sessions, she's always the first to say, that doesn't work I have work the next day or I'm tired or I need a day to myself, that kind of thing. All of us in the group have full time jobs. Some a lot harder than your, some a lot harder than hers. Just being real. But we make it work because we love playing together. It feels like Betsy's ready to cancel whenever at the slightest inconvenience. And more than that, during the games. When we do play, she's often distracted or doesn't understand the rules. So she's just doing the same thing every time and not contributing. It's clear she still hasn't learned the game even though we've had 10 plus sessions at this point. I get that it's complicated and it's not everyone's thing, but it feels like she's not even trying. The weird thing is when she talks about DND with other friends, she's always saying how much she loves it and how much it means to her. I feel like we need to talk to her to reset, but I'm worried she'll take this as us kicking her out or criticizing her. We just want to have fun during sessions and if she doesn't want to do this, it's bringing the group down. Any advice on how to approach this help?
Nicole Byer
That seems really funny.
Sasheer Zamata
Yes.
Nicole Byer
That's so deeply funny to be like, man, this does not get it. And then you're out with like other friends and she's like, that's my favorite thing in the world.
Sasheer Zamata
My guess is that Betsy's favorite thing is hanging with the friends but not playing the game.
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
Which is. Okay, maybe you can phrase it like that. Like, hey, like we all really are into this game and it seems like sometimes you're not into it that much because you're on your phone when we're doing it. You refuse to learn the rules. So like, maybe we can hang in a different capacity and the D and D heads can play without you.
Nicole Byer
Uh huh.
Sasheer Zamata
Or like, how do you feel? Are you really dedicated to doing the D and D stuff or would you rather us hang in a different capacity? Maybe give her a choice and see what she says and if she's like, yeah, I'd rather just do some. I'd just rather sit and watch TV with you guys or like be on our phones than play this long game, then hopefully she'll be honest about that.
Nicole Byer
I'm not super familiar with Dungeons and Dragons and their campaigns, but I'm like, can you play without Betsy or does Betsy have to always be there?
Caller/Listener
I'm not sure Either.
Sasheer Zamata
I do not know.
Nicole Byer
If Betsy doesn't always have to be there, I think it's okay to be like, hey, well, we're gonna play on Monday.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And we know that you can't make it, so, like, we'll just pause your character. I don't know. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
I wonder if it's a continuing thing where you have to do it with the same every week. I don't know. I actually have no idea.
Nicole Byer
Maybe, since Betsy's always doing the same things. So the nice man in my life, him and his friends play poker. I had no idea how to play poker, and I read half of Poker for Dummies. Okay. I asked that nice man to give me poker lessons. So we would pretend that there was other people when it was just the two of us, and we would do the cards. I could see them all. And he would go, well, what would you do if this were your. So maybe you can say, hey, Betsy, you've been doing the same things in Dungeons and Dragons. D and D. Can I maybe give you, like, a quick little lesson on, like, all the other things you can do if it's important to you? But, like, if. If you just want to hang, we could figure that out, too. So maybe offer to teach. Like, maybe Betsy just doesn't know.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, I know.
Nicole Byer
People tell me rules, and I go, like. And then that. That leaves.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah, I like that idea. Be like, are you interested in knowing other options and improving your gameplay?
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
And if she's like, no, then you're like, okay, well, cool. Betsy, we're trying to play this game.
Nicole Byer
Yeah, I think. I don't think it would hurt Betsy's feelings if you were like, hey, we're, like, all really super into this. And if you are super into it, I want to help you get better. I think that might be, like, caring and nice.
Sasheer Zamata
I think so, too. Yeah. I think there's been moments where. There have been moments where, um, like, I wanna do something, or you and I wanna do something. Someone wants to join. But, like, for example, you know, I like to thrift shop. And I think I told Tessa one time that we were gonna do that. And she was like, oh, I'll come. And I was like, we are going to shop. We are not hanging. We're not chatting. We'll probably barely talk to each other. We will be in different offices. We'll separate.
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
And she was like, oh, I don't want that, but I can get lunch with you after. And I was like, great.
Nicole Byer
That is very funny. Cause sometimes you do have to tell people. It is funny. I've had to tell friends that I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go thrifting. And they're like, oh, I'll come. And I'm like, well, this is pretty serious for me. I'm looking, and you'll be talking, and I'm not gonna be listening.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
We can regroup every, like, 20 minutes, but, like, I'm going for it.
Sasheer Zamata
Exactly.
Nicole Byer
Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
This is serious to me.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. I think. Just explain it to Betsy.
Caller/Listener
I think.
Nicole Byer
Yeah. I don't. I don't think that's a mean thing to be like. Well, we're really serious about this. Yeah.
Sasheer Zamata
And I think as long as you make it clear, that's like, you're not saying you don't want to hang out with her, which it really. I really feel like that's what she wants.
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
You're just saying this game that we love is important to us.
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
And we want everyone else to feel that way, too.
Nicole Byer
And at that poker game, sometimes girlfriends will come who don't like playing, and they'll just hang out, and that might be an option.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. Yeah. Maybe she doesn't have to play the game.
Nicole Byer
She could, like, be there with her friends.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. Solved.
Caller/Listener
Okay, this one is called Am I overreacting?
Nicole Byer
Yes.
Sasheer Zamata
No.
Caller/Listener
Hi, Nicole and Sashir and everyone else involved in this lovely show. Some friends and I went out for drinks tonight. And since we are all busy adults, we'd had it on the books for a couple of weeks. Our one friend, who definitely knew about it and even insisted it be kind of early so she could go after work, texted today saying to say she couldn't make it. Not a big deal. Things happen. But then just now, I was on letterboxd and saw that she had gone to the movies with her married Polycule, and that's why she couldn't make it to drinks tonight. Am I overreacting, or is that shitty? Thanks. Love the show.
Nicole Byer
Her married polycule.
Sasheer Zamata
I. I mean, I guess it is shitty to feel, to be, like, aware that someone bailed on your hang to basically do another hang, but we don't know what's going on in the Polycule. No, there could be drama.
Nicole Byer
She could. Or that person could be trying to fix something.
Sasheer Zamata
Exactly. They could be like, all of them are like, you don't spend enough time with us. And so she's like, I gotta fix all my relationships right now.
Nicole Byer
Gotta head to the Polycule. Mm. I used to be offended when people chose to do, like, something else other than hang with me. But in my old age, I've learned, well, they're doing something that's important to them.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And it might actually have nothing to do with how they feel about me, my standing with them, or the fact that maybe they did want to hang out with me and they just needed to do this other thing. And I've been guilty of canceling day of. Because before, before I got an assistant to, like, help me with my schedule, I would double book myself all the time. And then I'd have to, like, make choices. Do I do this show? Do I go to this dinner? Like, what? Sometimes I triple book myself. So I think sometimes it's nicer to just like, accept it and go, well, I think that person still went to drinks with their other friends. That was a nice time.
Sasheer Zamata
I was gonna say that too. Like, it's possible this person over committed and didn't realize it or like forgot or who knows?
Nicole Byer
You know, maybe.
Sasheer Zamata
Maybe they did agree and know that this hang was on the books, but maybe they also agreed to this movie thing and forgot, like, who knows? And yeah, it's not a reflection of hopefully how they feel about this friend group. It's just they had to do it.
Nicole Byer
They had to get to the polycule. Yeah. But I also think it's okay to say, hey, I'm really disappointed that you didn't make it. Did they say they do this a lot? That they cancel?
Caller/Listener
No, but it's been on the books for a couple of weeks.
Nicole Byer
I see.
Caller/Listener
And she asked for it to be early so that she could make it, and then she canceled.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
I don't think it's bad to be like, hey, I'm really disappointed we didn't make it for drinks.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And give him a little grace.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. Honestly, we're hearing that this person wanted it to be early makes me think that they did double book.
Nicole Byer
Yes. They probably were like, oh, it could be early and then I'll make it to the movie and then maybe realize the cause. I've done that before. And I'm like, oh, the distance between these two things are actually much more than I thought. And I'm not gonna make it to that second thing or the first one. Yeah. I think there was trouble in the polycule.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah.
Nicole Byer
And a polycule is more than three.
Sasheer Zamata
I think it's can be three or more than three. At least three probably right.
Nicole Byer
Three is a throuple, four is a polycule.
Sasheer Zamata
Oh, I don't know. I don't. I don't know the distinction.
Nicole Byer
I don't know either.
Caller/Listener
It's Google's being confusing. It's undetermined.
Sasheer Zamata
Google's like, it's none of your business.
Nicole Byer
None of your business.
Sasheer Zamata
None of your business.
Nicole Byer
It's fun for them.
Sasheer Zamata
Yeah. It's their business, actually. They define it however they want.
Nicole Byer
Salt.
Sasheer Zamata
Salt.
Nicole Byer
All right, well, that's it. That's it.
Sasheer Zamata
If you have any questions or queries for us, you can call us or text us or leave a voice message at 323-238-6554.
Nicole Byer
And we have an email. Nicole and Sashir gmail.com. type away, talk. Ask us questions.
Sasheer Zamata
Goodbye.
Nicole Byer
Bye. Best Friends is a production of Headgum Studios.
Sasheer Zamata
Our producer is Ali Khan.
Nicole Byer
Our executive producer is Anya Konovskaya.
Sasheer Zamata
The show is edited, mixed and engineered by Rochelle Chen.
Caller/Listener
That was a Headgum podcast.
Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata Episode: Sasheer Remembers Popcorn Shirts Air Date: March 11, 2026
In this lively, playful episode, Nicole and Sasheer dive into viral Super Bowl commercials, the erratic joy of human creativity, childhood nostalgia, sustainable kids’ fashion (including the return of popcorn shirts!), and the complex world of home ownership. As always, the friends answer listener questions covering friendship breakups, group dynamics in Dungeons & Dragons, and navigating flakey friends. The episode is filled with humor, sincerity, and sharp observations on the quirks of everyday life.
The episode is fast-moving, vibrant, and supportive. Nicole and Sasheer’s banter is honest, hilarious, and filled with punchlines, but there’s a core of warmth and empathy—a trademark of their friendship “pantheon”. They balance roasting life’s absurd moments with advice that’s both real and kind, championing boundaries and friendship above all.
Best enjoyed with your own best friend—or while considering how a “popcorn shirt” could fit into your current wardrobe.