Sasheer Waited For The Sunrise

Summary

Best Friends with Nicole Byer and Sasheer Zamata

Episode: "Sasheer Waited For The Sunrise"

Release Date: May 6, 2026
Host: Headgum

Overview

In this lively, laughter-filled episode, Nicole and Sasheer dive into topics ranging from hotel loyalty and machine mishaps to the nuances of friendship and self-care. Listeners are treated to a delightful stream of personal anecdotes, playful debates about light bulbs and fashion, and heart-to-heart advice on friendship dilemmas. The duo’s chemistry shines as they oscillate between deep, sincere check-ins and outlandish, joyful banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Nicole’s Hotel Obsession and Brand Loyalty

(00:18-06:23)

• Nicole gushes about her goal to become a "Langham Chicago hotel influencer," admiring the hotel’s details—from its signature scent to exclusive cups.
  • "I'm trying to become a hotel influencer... I just want the Langham Hotel to know how much I love them and how much I want them to let me stay there for free." – Nicole (00:33)
• Sasheer, meanwhile, is indifferent to making friends at hotels, preferring quick check-ins, while Nicole relishes befriending staff and feels deep loyalty to hotel brands (Gramercy Park Hotel, Yours Truly in DC).
  • "I cannot believe you don't have hotel friends." – Nicole (05:31)
  • "I'm not, like, chopping it up with customer service. I just want to go to my room." – Sasheer (05:43)

2. Why So Many Hotel Names?

(06:23-08:52)

• The hosts puzzle over hotel parent companies owning many brands and why they don’t use unified naming.
• Producer Ali explains it’s about market segmentation—different price points and experiences (07:31).
  • "So, yeah, that's why: business, luxury, budget bookings." – Ali (07:45)

3. Fashion Trends and High School Style

(09:45-14:57)

• A discussion on generational fashion cycles—from Abercrombie to the return of low-rise jeans and big belts.
  • "There's always a look... Everyone wore Abercrombie and like, tight flares, big shoes." – Nicole (10:33)
• Both reminisce about their high school looks, with Nicole wearing stretchy clothes and Sasheer recalling being mistaken for Braxton's brother post-shaved head.
  • "When I was playing basketball... I would wear big T shirts and basketball shorts." – Sasheer (14:01)
  • "If it stretches, it fits." – Nicole (13:48)
  • "Just because it stretches doesn't mean it fits." – Nicole's mom wisdom (13:51)

4. Gendered Language & Customer Service

(15:10-16:33)

• The hosts riff on being misgendered in public and why service workers cling to “sir” and “ma’am.”
  • "Hey, friend, what are you trying to eat today?...Look, pal, we got a menu here." – (15:36/15:43)
• Nicole notes it’s just ingrained habit in our "brain language" and shares about navigating gendered crowd work.

5. DIY Mishaps: Sewing Machine Adventures

(16:33-19:49, 27:40-30:12)

• Nicole recounts a sewing project with her friend Godoy, who serves as her "sewing fairy godmother," emphasizing a trial-and-error learning style.
  • "He lets me figure out things on my own, but then if something is too hard, he'll show me how to do it..." – Nicole (17:34)
• She hilariously admits to discarding important sewing machine parts and improvising poorly:
  • "I think I opened the box ... and threw it away." – Nicole (28:09)
  • "I'm sewing in spite of. Not because I've made it easy for myself." – Nicole (29:58)

6. Mental Health Awareness Month: Therapy Check-In

(24:05-27:31)

• In honor of Mental Health Awareness Month, Nicole and Sasheer share their therapeutic routines and strategies for managing anxiety.
  • "I sometimes lay in bed and I'm like, well, if I get up, then I have to start doing..." – Nicole (25:19)
  • "I try to go outside pretty quickly after I wake up. That helps me a lot." – Sasheer (25:53)
  • Sasheer introduces the concept of "later lists" to avoid overwhelming herself.
  • Nicole: "I do therapy, even though I don't want to, because it is nice to just check in with this person who cares about me, but, like, doesn't have any stakes in my life." (26:42)

7. Thoughts on Modern Tech & Planned Obsolescence

(30:23-34:06)

• Both lament how gadgets (clippers, sewing machines, ovens, bulbs) are now cheap and disposable, unlike older, all-metal counterparts.
  • "It's wild that things are made literally to break now." – Nicole (33:39)
  • "We need a company that's like, hey, you want old shit the way it used to be made? We'll sell it to you for a lot of money, but you'll never buy another one." – Nicole (34:08)

8. Light Bulb Bans, Incandescent Nostalgia

(34:23-36:59)

• Nicole and Sasheer bemoan the disappearance of incandescent bulbs, preferring their light and warmth over LEDs.
  • "I want to be hot and replacing light bulbs all day." – Nicole (36:01)
• Producer Ali weighs in with the regulatory reasoning: energy inefficiency and new federal standards (35:26).

9. Observations on Sunrises vs. Sunsets, and Breakfast Injustice

(37:55-41:11)

• Sasheer shares her rare experience waiting for the sunrise: "It took forever. I was like, I don't have time to sit here and wait for this." (38:19)
• The duo both “cannot stand” how hotels and fast food places serve breakfast in too-short windows.
  • "I should be able to get eggs until noon." – Nicole (39:52)

10. Ideal Eggs, Farmer’s Markets, and Egg-onomics

(41:17-42:55)

• A playful exploration of blue eggs, farmer’s market dreams, and unpasteurized eggs in Mexico vs. the US.
• Nicole debates the taste superiority of unpasteurized eggs and launches a global egg taste-test challenge.

11. Puns, Pride, and Missed Jokes

(42:30-44:13)

• The two riff on their friend groups' love of puns, and Nicole bemoans when her best jokes go unappreciated.
  • "Sometimes I am so proud of what I've said in a conversation... and I'll be like, excuse me, I said something really funny a minute ago, and I don't know if you heard it." – Nicole (43:09)

12. Pop Culture: Shawshank Redemption & Movie Mysteries

(44:13-57:42)

• The infamous "float away like a fart in the wind" quote from Shawshank (44:13).
• Recollection and analysis of Shawshank Redemption, wishing for a trip to Zihuatanejo.
• A fun aside into movie genres and the confusion caused by convoluted action plots.

13. Fun Segment: What Percent Unicorn Are You?

(50:41-62:16)

• The hosts take a "What Percent Unicorn Are You?" quiz, banter about favorite colors, glitter, animals, seasons, and ice cream.
  • Nicole is delighted with her 100% unicorn status: "My God. Now what do I do with that information?" – (62:14)
  • Sasheer gets 10%, and finds it surprisingly accurate.

14. Listener Questions & Friendship Advice

Question 1: Navigating a Friendship Rift

(63:46-68:46)

• A listener asks if she should feel guilty for confronting a friend (“Brenda”) whose difficult behavior led to the group fracturing.
  • "I don't think they should feel guilty at all. You said, what's up? Brenda said, brenda, stop hanging. That's Brenda." – Nicole (66:09)
  • Sasheer notes the importance of honesty and points out the need for more details, but ultimately agrees it’s on Brenda to respond how she chooses.

Question 2: Chronic Plan Canceler

(69:35-74:17)

• Another listener is hurt by a best friend’s frequent last-minute cancellations.
  • "On one hand, I'm like, yes, diva, cancel... But on the flip side, I'm like, you can't do that." – Nicole (71:32)
  • The hosts advise a gentle, honest conversation about feelings and expectations.
  • "It makes me feel like I'm low on the priority list, and I don't want to feel low on the priority list. And hanging out's really important." – Nicole (73:14)

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “If it stretches, it fits.” – Nicole (13:48)
• "That's Brenda for you." – Sasheer (66:09)
• "I'm sewing in spite of. Not because I've made it easy for myself." – Nicole (29:58)
• "I want to be hot and replacing light bulbs all day." – Nicole (36:01)
• "My God. Now what do I do with that information?" [upon getting 100% unicorn] – Nicole (62:14)
• "I have to see if I have a masquerade ball coming up with the Phantom of the Opera." – Nicole, on big hats (54:36)
• "Look, pal, we got a menu here." – Nicole in a bit about gender-neutral service greetings (15:43)
• "America is egg wealthy. There's so many fucking eggs here, everywhere." – Nicole (40:54)
• "You are more of a realist and you prefer the more logical side of things. That is true." [Quiz result for Sasheer] (61:51)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:18-06:23 – Nicole’s obsession with the Langham Hotel & hotel friendships
• 06:23-08:52 – Hotel branding and business models
• 09:45-14:57 – Fashion nostalgia and generational style
• 16:33-19:49 & 27:40-30:12 – Nicole’s sewing adventures and machine mishaps
• 24:05-27:31 – Mental Health Awareness Month check-in
• 30:23-34:06 – Tech and appliance durability gripes
• 34:23-36:59 – Light bulb ban and nostalgia
• 37:55-41:11 – Sunrises, sunsets, and breakfast policies
• 50:41-62:16 – Unicorn Personality Quiz (fun segment)
• 63:46-68:46 – Listener letter #1: Friendship rift ("Brenda")
• 69:35-74:17 – Listener letter #2: Chronic cancellers

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Tone & Style

This episode is brimming with joy, self-deprecating humor, and the warmth of long-term friendship. Nicole’s enthusiastic energy plays off Sasheer’s more laid-back, logical demeanor. Banter is peppered with playful exasperation, running gags (Langham Hotel, eggs, hats), pop culture sidebars, and heartfelt, genuine advice as they engage with listener questions. The show is as much about laughter as it is about genuine connection and growth.

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Transcript

[Producer/Ali Khan]

This is a Headgum podcast.

[Nicole Byer]

Hello, Sasheer.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hello, Nicole. Oh, what's that you got in your hand?

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, it is a reusable, insulated cup from the Langham Hotel in Chicago.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, is that a. Is that a hotel that you enjoy?

[Nicole Byer]

I love the Langham Hotel in Chicago. Boy, oh, boy, do I love it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm trying to become a hotel influencer. What that means, I don't exactly know. I just want the Langham Hotel to know how much I love them and how much I want them to let me stay there for free.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And how much I want upgrades.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I feel like that is a hotel influencer. You stay there for free and then you talk about it and, like, show it off, but you always have. You had a great time there. We were. Girl, that's a bad idea. Trying to balance it out on the mic. That actually is a really cute cup.

[Nicole Byer]

It's stunning.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's really cute.

[Nicole Byer]

It's a beautiful shade of pink. Not too pinky, but not too pale.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

It's really classic.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Classic.

[Nicole Byer]

And the manager there gifted me that, which is really, really nice. It's the start of me becoming a Langham Chicago hotel influencer. She also gifted me the smell of the hotel.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's right.

[Nicole Byer]

I love it. I can't find it anywhere to buy online. I don't know if they sell it to be shipped to me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, interesting. No, but they sell in the gift shop now. They do, but you just have to be there physically.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. To get it, which I love.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

How dare you try to pretend that you're at the Langham without actually being at the Langham.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Don't be a poser.

[Nicole Byer]

Don't be.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's a good word.

[Nicole Byer]

That should come back.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Poser. No, this is for Langham. Exclusive guest. Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

And that's what I am when I go to Chicago, a Langham hotel, exclusive guest.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I really did enjoy it. We. We stay. You, me, and Mateo stay at the Langham when you're shooting your special, your company special. It was so good. And, yeah, the language is really cute.

[Nicole Byer]

Isn't it beautiful?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my word. I just. I love it so much. I didn't get to go to the spa, but this spa seems to be explosive.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Explosive as a swag thing. I want to say it was like, swag from the MTV Awards or something. It was, like, years and years ago. One of the things was, like, two nights at the lame hotel, I think, in la.

[Nicole Byer]

In Pasadena.

[Sasheer Zamata]

In Pasadena, yeah. But I had no reason to come here, so I wasn't able to use it.

[Nicole Byer]

That's deeply unfortunate.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I know.

[Nicole Byer]

Boy, oh, boy. I think I also have one and didn't use it because I didn't realize how incredible the Langham Hotel is.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I know it is. That's the destination.

[Nicole Byer]

It really is. I just love it so much. Yeah. I'll never forget the first time I stayed there. I think I was doing Steve Harvey, the Steve Harvey show and the Steve Harvey Show. Spares or spared no expense. I went there twice, and the first time they put me up in the Four Seasons, like, on the top floor in this, like, stunning suite. It was so high up that when it went. When it winded, when the wind blew. Oh, my God. When it winded, when the. I love hotels so much. I, like, can't gather my thoughts.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, you're losing your word.

[Nicole Byer]

I love hotels. When it was windy, I could feel it, like, the building was shaking. I was like, this is crazy. And then the second time I went, they let me stay at the Langham. I was in just the most opulent of suites. It was so. And the bed was so comfortable. I love it there. I've never loved a hotel more. Everyone at the front desk was my best friend.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You're having a great time. I don't think I. I've been in a lot of hotels, but my memory for hotels is really bad. Like, they all kind of blend in. My. I can remember the really bad ones, and I had some really great ones. I'm not, like, remembering them so much. Where it's like, I gotta go back. Oh, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I am brand loyal. The Gramercy Park Hotel, before it closed, I was friends with the. The doorman.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, I remember this. Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

I believe his name is Carlos. Oh, I might be getting that wrong. We're still friends on Instagram.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Aw.

[Nicole Byer]

But I love just, like, hanging out with him. I would go sit in Gramercy Park. A gated park.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You have to have a key.

[Nicole Byer]

You have to have a key. If you're a hotel guest, you get the key. But there's only so many keys, so the whole hotel can't go down. It's still exclusive. Isn't it funny that there's an exclusive park? Yeah, but I loved being inside. People walking past, looking in. Get out of here.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Don't you wish you could be behind these gates?

[Nicole Byer]

Get out of here. But the Gramercy Park I would always stay in. He took me to see the suite that, like, Beyonce and Obama would stay in. Like, I made. I make friends at hotels.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You love a hotel.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And then there's another hotel. I think it's yours truly in D.C. love. Love. They're my friends. Love them.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm so glad.

[Nicole Byer]

I can't believe you don't have any hotel friends.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I. I.

[Nicole Byer]

But can't you. You.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's not crazy.

[Nicole Byer]

No, what I'm saying is normal. I cannot believe you don't have hotel friends.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But like me, I'm not, like, chopping it up with customer service. I'm not. I'm not rude. I just, like, I want to go to my room immediately, and I want. How can we limit this interaction? Like, make this as fast as possible so I can move on with my life?

[Nicole Byer]

Not me. When I checked in at the Langham Truly, another lady came over because we were having so much fun. The three of us were just like, ha, ha, ha, ha. And then this other man checking in. He was trying to be fun, and I wanted to be like, don't do that. I'm having fun. You're not fun. I can't remember the joke he said. It was really stupid. Kick him out. Kick him out.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Get to the Hilton.

[Nicole Byer]

That's so funny. And the Langham, I believe, is not owned by a larger corporation. I think it's owned by Langham proper.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I like that most are. I feel like most hotels belong to a Hilton or a Marriott or something

[Nicole Byer]

like that, and I wonder why that is.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't know.

[Nicole Byer]

They'll be like, here's our portfolio. The red roof in the comfort suite, like. And I'm just like, why are you tricking me by naming them different? Why aren't they just all called, like, Hilton one, Hilton two?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I guess different price points. But maybe you wouldn't, like, go to a Hilton if you knew it was connected to a red roof fan or something. I don't know.

[Nicole Byer]

That's it. Allie, I don't know how you'd even Google this. Why do. Why are hotels under the umbrella of a big hotel have different names? Nope, that's a bad Google. But I think you get what I'm trying to say, right?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Why are hotels named differently in the hotel group?

[Nicole Byer]

I think that was a very nice, succinct Google. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, that was nice. Thanks.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm terrible at Googling. Okay.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

They might be under the same parent umbrella, but use different names to target specific markets, price points, and customer experiences.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Mmm.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

Um, so, yeah, that's, like, why business, luxury budget bookings.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Mm.

[Nicole Byer]

Those types. Oh, okay. So, Shira, you were on it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think so. Yeah. I think it's, like, in both directions. Like, if you are looking for a more reasonably priced hotel, you might be like, well, I can't afford a Hilton. Let me look at the. Look at this cheap option. Not knowing they're under the same umbrella. Interesting. I actually don't know if these two are even under the same umbrella. I just keep using the same two.

[Nicole Byer]

I like that you keep using the same, too. They probably are. The Hilton sues you. They're like, that's not part of our collection.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Actually, didn't they do something cool recently? I feel like the Hilton. Yeah. I feel like they, like, canceled a bunch of rooms that ICE was supposed to be in.

[Nicole Byer]

I think that was one hotel. And then I think the brand as a whole was like, that. Don't do that. I actually don't know the ins and outs of it, so I actually shouldn't be commenting on it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Well, then let's forget it.

[Nicole Byer]

Set it and forget it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And forget it.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you know what that's from?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Is it Crock Pot?

[Nicole Byer]

The Showtime Rotisserie Grill.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes, I do this.

[Nicole Byer]

Now.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You have showed me this commercial before.

[Nicole Byer]

I have. And anytime I've shown you something and it's like, taking me a while to, like, find it, I'm like, just wait for it. Just wait for it. It's never good enough. It's never, like. It's never as outstanding as I want it to be. Do you know what I mean?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, it's. That's hard.

[Nicole Byer]

And then sometimes I don't get, like, the response that, like, I think things should get. Like when I showed you from Big Daddy. H pop, hip hop and UUs. Yeah, man, I stomped my feet in the street.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I remember.

[Nicole Byer]

I think it's so funny. I just rewatched Big Daddy and guess what? I laughed so hard at that part.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think, you know, sometimes we have different ideas of things that are really funny to us, and that's okay.

[Nicole Byer]

It is okay. That's what makes us different.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. It's okay to be different.

[Nicole Byer]

It's okay to be different. I feel like they're not teaching kids that anymore.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Really?

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Well, like, how do you know what they're teaching kids?

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. Cause whenever I, like, pass a high school and, like, schools out, they all dress the same, but I feel like that's always. Is it?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I feel like every generation there's a look because no one wants to be. I mean, I think there will be kids who want to be different, but, like, the norm, whatever the norm is, is safe because then you're not a Target for bullying. Bullying or whatever. So, yeah, they all look the same. But also some don't. Some probably don't.

[Nicole Byer]

No, you're truly right. Because I started thinking and I was like, oh, yeah, Abercrombie. Everyone wore Abercrombie. And like, tight flares, big shoes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

There's always a look. Was that your look in high school or not? Yours personally? Like the look of your high school?

[Sasheer Zamata]

The look of my high school, yeah. It was definitely like flared jeans and like tight polo shirts and sometimes the double polo. Do you remember those?

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. And whoever started that, why, like, it

[Sasheer Zamata]

couldn't have been comfortable.

[Nicole Byer]

No.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You're wearing two shirts.

[Nicole Byer]

They put one on, they're like, this needs a second one.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, and you remember the T shirt with a long shirt underneath the T shirt?

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like, it shouldn't work, but somehow it did.

[Nicole Byer]

It did. It looked cute.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Do I bring it back?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Why not? Things are coming back.

[Nicole Byer]

Things are coming back. But also, I don't dress to trends.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's true. You just see yourself.

[Nicole Byer]

I march to my own little drummer beat.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's nice.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm a little drummer boy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

She's a little drum boy. Yeah. I there. I will see people be like, I found this really big belt and now I'm just gonna put it over a dress. And I'm like, oh, wow, that's coming back. That's funny.

[Nicole Byer]

I think it is coming back. I think I saw some low rise jeans too.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, no.

[Nicole Byer]

And I was like, they got really low.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They got so low in a way

[Nicole Byer]

that's unattainable because, you know, you, like, see pictures of like, Christina Aguilera and her, like, dirty phase where she was wearing, like, the lowest jeans. Do you think she could sit down in the car to arrive to the function or do you think she was standing in a van?

[Sasheer Zamata]

She was probably sitting down. Oh, I don't know. But like, for the music video, probably sat down. But, like, everything was out anyway. So it's like, if her ass falls out, it falls out. Just pull them back up when you stand.

[Nicole Byer]

If my ass falls out, it falls out.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Because she definitely had a thong on. I remember that.

[Nicole Byer]

But how is that? I guess I don't have a body where that would work.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like, aesthetically or like, feeling, like, comfortable.

[Nicole Byer]

Feeling comfortable, yeah, Aesthetically, I mean, whatever. I'll wear whatever I want, but I just don't, I, I, I can't fathom that ever being comfortable.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't know if it was comfortable for them either. I don't know. Interesting. I never Dress like that, but I. It doesn't look comfortable.

[Nicole Byer]

You never wore like low rise jeans?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I really didn't. I think I wore mid rise jeans.

[Nicole Byer]

I haven't seen very many pictures of your youth.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'll find some.

[Nicole Byer]

I would like to see it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, she was just a dorky girl.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't think I was dorky, but I also don't. I think I was just like, hey, I exist.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But you had fun clothes, right? Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I did have fun clothes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You're like wearing tutus and stuff.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, that was in my early 20s.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, okay.

[Nicole Byer]

In high school I wore a lot of flares, big shoes, very tight shirts. I've always been like, if it stretches, it fits.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And my mother used to say, just because it stretches doesn't mean it fits. And I was like, I think you got it twisted.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I think you fucked it up.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What I'm saying is the opposite. Yeah. Yeah. I think I wore. What did I wear? Less sweatshirts and jeans. Mm. And then like, I feel like I wore a lot of free T shirts I got from like different organizations that I did. Okay. Actually I had when I was playing basketball, which was short lived, but I would wear big T shirts and basketball shorts and. Oh no, wait. So actually this was my first year after college. I went home and was wearing like basketball shorts and a T shirt and I had just shaved my head and. And what? My little brother's friends came over and they're like, I didn't know Braxton had a. Had a brother. And I was like, okay, I'm a woman.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm a woman.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm a grown woman.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, the hell? That's great. You're just dressed like Billie Eilish.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes, exactly. I was setting the trend. And then I immediately changed it. I started wearing earrings. Eyeliner changed at all.

[Nicole Byer]

That's very funny that you're like.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, I was.

[Nicole Byer]

I've been called sir a lot on planes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I still get called sir. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Like if I wear a little hat and I have no makeup on and just like a little baggy outfit, like, what would you like to drink, sir? And I'll be like a vodka soda. And they're like, I'm up. And I'm like, hey, as long as the booze comes, I don't care.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm surprised. In these times, people aren't trained to not say a gender term at all. Like, it's not necessary. Like, what would you like? Or hey friend, what's what? What would you like to eat today?

[Nicole Byer]

Hey, friend, what are you trying to eat today?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Look, pal, we got a menu here.

[Nicole Byer]

Look, pal, we got a menu here. I want that to be the standard at every restaurant. Hey, pal, we got a menu here. And you're like, okay, I'm looking at it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Thank you. Hey, buddy, you look at that menu?

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I'm sorry. We were catching up, but I'll get into it. Yeah. Really aggressive.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes. Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

That's what I want. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't know.

[Nicole Byer]

I think it's like, older people just naturally tend to.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I feel like I've seen younger people do it too. I was like, morning, sir. Oh, sorry. And, like, why did you even say sir? Like, what? Why?

[Nicole Byer]

I think it's just, like, built into our brain language.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Because sometimes I'll do crowd work, and I'll gender someone and then be like, actually, I don't know. You want to tell me? Do you care? What's going on?

[Sasheer Zamata]

What's going on?

[Nicole Byer]

Hey, bud.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What's going on?

[Nicole Byer]

What's going on, buddy? Oh, my God. Sasheer. So last night, I went to a sewing party, and by sewing party, it was just a couple people who needed to rhinestone and sew some stuff together. And my friend Godoy is my sewing sherpa, my sewing fairy godmother. And I brought three projects. We only got two because I brought a pair of jeans that were too small, but I bought a second pair, and I wanted to combine them, and I thought it was gonna be very easy. And I walked. Good toy. How I was gonna do it. And he was like, that's great. But then when I started doing it, I was like, oh, this is much harder than I anticipated. In order for me to keep the stripes, like, straight, I can't just add a panel on the side. I have to add a panel on the inside as well. And he was like, yes, daughter. And I was like, yeah. He, like, lets me figure out things on my own, but then if something is too hard, he'll show me how to do it, and then I have to do the other side and try, try, try, try, try, try, try. And then if I, like, really can't get it, he'll then do it and then walk me through how to do it. And I really like this way of learning.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, that's smart. So you did figure it out. I did, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. And he was very proud of me. He was like, I would eyeball it, but, like. And then I was like, I think the way we have to do it is I'll step into it when it's all open. And then take some paper to make the pattern for the panels. And he was like, yes. And I was like, is that how you would have done it? He was like, no, I would have eyeballed it. And I was like, yes. Because you're a professional. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You've been doing it longer.

[Nicole Byer]

And I, I asked him to show me how to self. Or how the machine self self threads the needle. Yeah, that. I'm using a tweezer. It's easier.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, it's actually hard.

[Nicole Byer]

I thought it was hard. What do you do?

[Sasheer Zamata]

How do you do it?

[Nicole Byer]

So you have to like loop it in and then a thing comes down and out and then you put it through there and then it flicks it through the hole or whatever. I didn't like it. I like my old school tweezers.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Great. Keep it simple.

[Nicole Byer]

We have to take a break.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Let's take a break. If you hit that mid afternoon energy crash, you know the routine. Another coffee or a bar or chips you probably didn't need. What if there was a better option? Brodo. This podcast is sponsored by Brodo. Brodo's bone broth is the simplest nutrition upgrade you can make to your daily routine. Their broths are made from scratch and no concentrates, preservatives or shortcuts. So you get the best broth money can buy. Brodo was launched by James Beard award winning chef Marco Canora 11 years ago. He started serving bone broth out of the window of his NYC apartment. Now Brodo ships nationwide, so you don't have to be in New York City to enjoy Chef Marco's masterpiece. My favorite flavor from the sampler pack is the classic chicken broth. It tastes so good. It's really great for when you're sick or when you're waking up in the morning or when you're going to bed. It's just like nice and warm, fuzzy. Each cup of brodo delivers about 10 grams of whole food protein along with collagen, building amino acid, electrolytes and nutrients to support gut health, immunity, joint skin and general wellness. All under 50 calories with zero sugar or fat. But is broth actually good for you or is it all just hype? Unlike the latest Instagram health fad, bone broth has been around for centuries, so it has proven results. A 2025 study actually found that the amino acids in broth heals leaky guts and strengthen the immune system. Fun fact, if you were curious, because I was. Brodo means broth in Italian. Shop the best broth on the planet with brodo head to brodo.combestfriends for 20% off your first subscription order and use code best friends for an additional $10 off. Once again, that's brodo.combestfriends for twenty percent off your first subscription order and an additional $10 off if you use my promo code Best Friends.

[Nicole Byer]

As best friends, we've taken a lot of really fun trips together over the years. A few years ago, we went on a trip to Lake Arrowhead where we booked a stay on Airbnb with a group of friends to celebrate one of their birthdays. It was important to us that we had a a private space that felt like our own while also feeling like we were on vacation. We ended up staying in this really, really cute a frame house with amenities like a hot tub in the backyard, a pool table for game nights, and even a grill for barbecuing. I still think about that trip all the time and how hard we laughed. And part of what made it so special was Airbnb. Airbnb gives you more space, more privacy, better locations and and beautiful homes to make vacation memories in. We'd rather meet up in a living room than a hotel lobby, and booking stays through Airbnb makes that possible. Oh my goodness. Hunger strikes. I'm exhausted. I've done 18 podcasts. I don't know what to do. My God, I'm pulling my hair out. I have a hankering for something to slide down my throat that nourishing to my body. And there's probably something healthy in my fridge or my pantry that I should be making, but ah, I just don't have it in me. For me, eating healthy isn't a willpower thing, it's a setup problem. Until I found Factor. Factor solves your your setup problem with fully prepared meals designed by dietitians and crafted by chefs. And guess what? It is delivered right ding dong to your door. With Factor, I'm hitting my nutrition goals this season without the planning, the grocery runs, or the cooking. My current favorite Factor meal is the Buffalo Ranch Grilled Chicken. Mm mm. Cluck cluck. I love the flavors and it makes me feel like I ate something not only good, but also good for me too. Factor is meals built around your goals, whether that's weight loss, if that's something you're into, overall nutrition, more protein or GLP1 support for strength and workout recovery. Check out Factor's Muscle Pro collection Fresh never frozen over 100 rotating weekly meals, including globally inspired flavors like Mediterranean and Asian. There's always something new to look forward to Ready in two minutes. Factor shops, preps, cooks and delivers straight to your door so you have more time for everything. You love this spot. Spring.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, boy.

[Nicole Byer]

I love Factor because when I hear ding dong, I say, I hope it's not a person. I hope it's food. Head to factor meals.com best friends 50 off and use code best friends 50 off to get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only while supplies last until September 27, 2020 26. See website for more details. Hello, Sasheer.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hi, Nicole.

[Nicole Byer]

It's May. It's May.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's Mental Health Awareness month.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. And I think we should do a fun thing with Alma.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. A little segment where we check in with one another and see how we're doing. For real. For real.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Since Alma is so good about connecting people with therapists and clinicians, I think it's appropriate that we talk about mental health.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. And we talk a lot about mental health on the podcast. Anyway, you're in therapy. I'm in therapy. We love therapy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

And if you do want to get into therapy with Alma, you can switch therapists, which I think is good because you need to find a good fit for yourself. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's like dating. You're trying to find people who click with you and people you feel safe with. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Let's check in. How are you actually doing this week?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I sometimes I wake up and I feel, like, a little overwhelmed because just, like, there's so many options of what I could do in a day as far as, like, my schedule and doing things I think I should be doing or, or like, feeling like I have to do tasks for other people. And then I didn't even get out of bed yet and I'm already feeling, like, anxious and I don't love that.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I get that. I sometimes lay in bed and I'm like, well, if I get up, then I have to start doing. And then if I start doing, I have to complete and then I have to finish. And a nice thing I started doing was being a little nicer to myself and just slowly getting up and slowly trying to figure out what the day will hold. And then I hadn't been doing my little exercise videos.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, those help.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, moving my body does help, and I find that annoying.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I try to go outside pretty quickly after I wake up. That helps me a lot. Like putting my foot, my feet on the ground and like getting sunlight on my face. And then it's like, okay, day starting.

[Nicole Byer]

I like that. Feet to the earth.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Feet of the Earth.

[Nicole Byer]

And also, I do therapy every week, even if I don't want to.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, that's good.

[Nicole Byer]

I think so.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Yeah. And a therapist did help me create something that we called later lists, where if I start thinking of a thing or a task I need to do, instead of just, like, doing it at that moment, I can write it on the list. And then if I'm in a moment where I'm like, I know I should be doing something, but I don't know what, I can look at the list and be like, oh, yeah, I had this task that I need to do.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, I do therapy, even though I don't want to, because it is nice to just check in with this person who cares about me, but, like, doesn't have any stakes in my life.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And I just. I really like my therapist. We've been together for. We've been together. Our relationship's going on, I think, two years. I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's great.

[Nicole Byer]

So she, like, knows me well and also will challenge me in a way where I'm like, sometimes she goes, what is easy? And then I have to go, oh, there's so many things in my life that are easy. I don't have to focus on the bad things.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I like that. Yeah, I like that.

[Nicole Byer]

Look at us.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Look at us. Taking care of ourselves and our brains.

[Nicole Byer]

Taking care of ourselves and our brains. And you can get started now@hello, alma.com. best friends.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's hello, alma.com./B, E, S, T, F, R, I, E, N, D S.

[Nicole Byer]

And we're back. And then. Okay, here's another thing I learned. Yes, Meatball was also there. So gojoy and Meatball were like, hey, where's that stick that you put at the top of the machine for the thread? And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. And they're like, all these things that came with your machine. Where are they? And I was like, I don't think I have them. I think I opened the box, and I was like, machine. And then I was like, I don't know what any of that is, and threw it away.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, I hope not.

[Nicole Byer]

I think that's what I did. I need to go look.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Compartment on the bottom.

[Nicole Byer]

I did. There's nothing in there.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay. I did bad, so maybe.

[Nicole Byer]

Mm. And both of them were like, well, how are you sewing if you don't have the thing that the spool sits in? And I was like, oh, I use the small thing, and they're like the bobbin. And I was like, yes. And they're like, do you run out of, like, thread all the time? I was like, yes, it's really upsetting. And I go through them so quickly and they were like, so are you. You're just buying bobbins? And I said, yes. So I guess I'm making it much harder for myself because you could buy a big spool of thread and make your own bobbins.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, yeah, that's really funny.

[Nicole Byer]

Are you going to.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Or is the stick that you can put thread on, are you able to buy just the stick? Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

I ordered all the stuff that comes in the little bag. I ordered all that. So then I'll have it. And I didn't know you could change the foot. So there's the needle and then under the needle's the foot that clamps onto the fabric to kind of hold it so, you know your seam allowances and whatnot. I didn't know you could change it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

To what?

[Nicole Byer]

Different feet.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Bigger feet.

[Nicole Byer]

Bigger feet. Smaller feet. Sharper feet.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sharper feet.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Stinky feet.

[Nicole Byer]

Stinky feet. Ooh, pretty feet. Feet that go on wiki feet. It's wild how I just jumped into this and like, didn't read a book. The only video I've ever watched is how to. How to thread my bobbin. And I learned I was doing that wrong. They were like, it's getting there. But you did do it wrong. And I was like, got it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But somehow you're doing it like you are sewing.

[Nicole Byer]

I am.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Despite maybe missing a lot of pieces.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. I'm sewing in spite of. Not because I've made it easy for myself.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I can't wait for you to have all the tools you need here. We fly in. I know.

[Nicole Byer]

And Godoy was like, you actually, like, you. You learn fast and then you do it well.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And I was really proud about that. Yay. Oh, and we also made a pattern for a jumpsuit.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, great.

[Nicole Byer]

And I just. I'm excited. Yeah. I'm gonna make things.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Gonna make things. Missing the. The thread holder reminded me of my hair clippers because I had this guard that was like. I think it's a fade guard. I don't. You know, I've watched and I actually watched a bunch of YouTube videos on cutting hair. Cuz I cut my own hair. And there's like so much. There's so many different types of guards, so many levels. And I was like, I just want one level. I don't want to do much, but so it's a fade guard, but that's the length. I like my hair to go all over. And some of the little, like, teeth on the comb fully broke off, so it's like a gap tooth.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, no.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And that wasn't working. I was like, maybe I'll just shave around it. One working.

[Nicole Byer]

That's really funny.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And so. But you I couldn't find. I couldn't buy just that. Like, just one fade guard. And then I was looking for. It was. It was a mess, so. And then also now my clippers just broke. So I was like, all right, I need to find new clippers, and I don't want to buy, like, just buy things from Amazon anymore.

[Nicole Byer]

And I was like, where do I

[Sasheer Zamata]

go to get clippers?

[Nicole Byer]

That's what Amazon wants.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's what they want.

[Nicole Byer]

They want us to go. Where do we ever get a thing from?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I know, but I went to Sally's Beauty supply. Yeah. And they had so many clippers. They didn't have any. That were the ones I had before, but then they had these other ones and they had a bunch of other, like, features to it. Like, one was like, turbo. And I was like, what does that mean?

[Nicole Byer]

I guess it just makes that noise. It goes the same speed.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like those e motorcycles, those electric motorcycles that, like, don't have to make a sound. But they do.

[Nicole Byer]

But they do. That's very funny.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So I did find some clippers, but they have. They have a. Like, a hat. They have, like, the guard has, like, a little hood, and it kind of catches the hair. But I don't want to catch the hair. I want to be free. Oh, I don't know how to fix that.

[Nicole Byer]

So your clippers are uncircumcised.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That is what it seems like. Things are getting caught in there. I have to open it up and clean it out.

[Nicole Byer]

And that's why men get circumcised. It takes too much for them to open it up, even clean it up. That's so funny. I wonder if you would have had to buy new clippers if you had, like, an old school pair of clippers, because I think you were with me in Palm Springs. Or maybe it was Joshua Tree. I found a pink sewing machine and I took a picture and I sent it to all my sewing friends. I was like, does anybody want this? I don't think I'd be able to, like, work this. And it should go to a home where it'll be used. And then Meatball was like, I want it. And he took it to get service. And he was like, yeah, this will never break. All the parts inside are like, nothing's been replaced and it's all metal. Everything now is made with, like, plastic parts. So things just fudgeing break.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, yeah. My old clippers were full of plastic and I was like, I don't know where anything goes. I took it apart. I was like, really trying to figure this out. I was like, put this here. And I was like, I have no idea how this is going to work.

[Nicole Byer]

I love that you took it apart

[Sasheer Zamata]

because I thought I was like, it might be like an adjustment thing, like something maybe went loose. And I think that is true, but I really couldn't figure it out. And, yeah, full of plastic parts.

[Nicole Byer]

It's wild that things are made literally to break now.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

There's this lady, I saw her on the Internet. Ever heard of it?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I've heard of it.

[Nicole Byer]

She services ovens.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

And resells, like, old timey ovens. And she's like, all these ovens need is to be serviced because they're all made with, like, good quality parts. Same with, like, old refrigerators. They'll last for, like, fucking forever. Yeah. Ugh. Everything now plastic Poo. Poo. Yuck. Yuck.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Boo.

[Nicole Byer]

We need a company that's like, hey, you want. You want old shit the way it used to be made? We'll sell it to you for a lot of money, but you'll never buy another one. Yeah, I would pay a lot of

[Sasheer Zamata]

money for something that's going to last, right? Yeah, I wish.

[Nicole Byer]

You know what?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I also want incandescent light bulbs. Everything's led. We need those old light bulbs because that is actually probably. That's, like, good for our eyes and our hormones and the LED actually, like, messes up our brain.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, is this like a. It's like a soft yellowy?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And not white. You're right.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

They only sell LEDs.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes. It's like you cannot actually find incandescent light bulbs, like, new ones.

[Nicole Byer]

How do you just discontinue a light bulb?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't know.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know. Thomas wouldn't like that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Thomas wouldn't like that. He's like, let them all have light.

[Nicole Byer]

People want us to all have a choice. Yes. A choice in our light.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I want to say it's, like, illegal to have to, like, sell incandescent light bulbs. Maybe. That's crazy.

[Nicole Byer]

Whoa. Should we start a light bulb prohibition?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Give us back the light. Take back the light.

[Nicole Byer]

Ally, can you look it up? Yeah.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

So incandescent light bulbs were banned primarily due to Their extreme energy inefficiency. They convert only about 5% of energy into light, and the rest is heat. And then There was a 2023 regulation that mandated a minimum of 45 lumens per watt, which is, like, favoring long lasting, cost effective LED alternatives to reduce carbon emissions and utility bills.

[Nicole Byer]

Ah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I mean, that's true. They definitely don't last as long.

[Nicole Byer]

They heat you up. They don't last.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And they heat you up, and you're

[Nicole Byer]

like, bring them back. That's what I want. I want to be hot and replacing light bulbs all day. That's so funny, Sasheer. Bring them back. I really want them. And Ali's like, actually, they kill.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. All right.

[Nicole Byer]

I wonder if there is. I think you could get, like, a different glow of an led.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think so. But I think the issue is, like, because I saw a video where they, like, recorded a light that looked like just a stationary light that was led and they slowed it down and it was, like, flickering like this. So it's like, we're actually looking at that all the time, because that's just what they do. Oh, and. And we shouldn't be.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't like that. I once was shooting this thing, and where they had the actors holding my light was just doing that all day long.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And by the time I left, I was like, I'm nauseous. I, like, don't feel good. Oh, no, it was not good. And then at one point, I did turn the lights off, but then I was like, well, now I'm just. I'm in the dark, and if someone comes to get me, they're like, are you okay? Are you feeling good?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like, hello.

[Nicole Byer]

Do you need something? What's happening in here?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I mean, sometimes it's nice to sit in the dark, get a little recharge.

[Nicole Byer]

Sometimes it is nice to sit in the dark. Sometimes I'll be in a room, just at home, doing things, working on, like, maybe the computer or something. And then the Sunwolf set. And then I, like, look around. I'm like, it's actually pitch black in here. Yeah. And then I'm like, do I get

[Sasheer Zamata]

up, sit in the dark?

[Nicole Byer]

There's times I've opted to just sit in the dark Also. I'm, like, gripping on this chair, and

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't know why it's not dark now. It's okay. It's okay.

[Nicole Byer]

Darkness is coming.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Darkness is upon us. It's actually really good for your sleep and your eyes, because I'm constantly looking for things that are good for My eyes to watch the sun rise and watch the sunset.

[Nicole Byer]

I could do one.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You can definitely do the sunset.

[Nicole Byer]

Watching the sunrise. I'm never awake for that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I actually was awake the other day for it.

[Nicole Byer]

Like, I.

[Sasheer Zamata]

My body just woke up, like, seven something. And the. It was like, a little bit of light, and I was like, let me go check out the sun. And so I went outside, and it took forever. I was like, I don't have time to sit here and wait for this.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm dying.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I was like, okay, okay, that's all right.

[Nicole Byer]

On with it. Come on. Get into the fucking sky. I feel like sunset. It happens pretty fast. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sunrise took forever.

[Nicole Byer]

I feel like I've been on, like, a sunset cruise around, like, a lake or whatever. And you're like, oh, the sun. Oh, it's gone.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

You're like, all right, well, it gets out of here. I guess I'll have some champagne. I don't.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's dark.

[Nicole Byer]

That's really funny that it takes a really long time for the sun to rise.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hello. I'm trying to see you.

[Nicole Byer]

Did you wait for the sun to rise? I didn't.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I went back inside. I was like, I can't wait forever.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. I'm not. I can't be awake for that. Anytime I'm at a hotel.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh. Like the Langham Hotel, and they tell

[Nicole Byer]

me what time breakfast is. I always say, oh, I won't be awake for that. And they always just go, oh, okay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It feels like they don't want you to have breakfast.

[Nicole Byer]

No.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They make it out of crate. There's like 6am to 8:30am that's when you have breakfast.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. What? Yes. It's wild. Same with McDonald's. I think they stop serving breakfast at 10am Rude.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So rude.

[Nicole Byer]

I should be able to get eggs until noon.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes, I agree. It's still morning until the a.m. stops.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Keep serving breakfast.

[Nicole Byer]

I agree. And I don't get it. That's like, if you're in the Delta Lounge, they flip it before noon. And I'm like, I want a bagel. It's 11. It's 11:30. Give me a bagel.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Don't give me fajitas.

[Nicole Byer]

It's 10am I don't want a fajita in the morning. No. I wonder who did that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Who did that? How do we stop that?

[Nicole Byer]

How do we stop it? Yeah. Who decided that, like, breakfast doesn't go until at least noon?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Also, like, in my mind, it's easier to make breakfast. So why would you want to, like, make easy dishes as long as you can before you have to start making, like, lunchtime meals.

[Nicole Byer]

Maybe it's, like, conserving eggs.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I feel like there's so many eggs. I feel like we're overwhelmed with eggs.

[Nicole Byer]

America is egg wealthy. There's so many surplus of eggs. There's so many fucking eggs here, everywhere. I mean, I guess you're right.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't know, actually. No, wait. There was no.

[Nicole Byer]

There was egg shortage. There was.

[Sasheer Zamata]

There was egg shortage.

[Nicole Byer]

And then. Yes. And eggs were really expensive.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

So maybe.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Never mind. I take it back. We gotta conserve these eggs.

[Nicole Byer]

I've been buying blue eggs. Ooh.

[Sasheer Zamata]

From the farmer's market.

[Nicole Byer]

No.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

Gelison's great. They're blue in shell, and then in the. In the middle, golden. Ooh, it's lovely.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That is lovely.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm never up early enough to go to a farmer's market. And then when they, like, go a little later, I'm like, now it's too hot.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's true.

[Nicole Byer]

I can't be outside in this heat.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's true. It's not. It's not as fun when you're, like, sweating.

[Nicole Byer]

No. But I wish. I wish one day to wake up to go to a farmer's market.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I believe in you.

[Nicole Byer]

I wonder if I could get unpasteurized eggs at a farmer's market. Probably.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm sure.

[Nicole Byer]

I think unpasteurized eggs taste better.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You know, I actually don't know if I know the difference. Oh, yeah. I don't know if I've clocked it.

[Nicole Byer]

Next time you're in Mexico, eat an egg.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay. And then take that memory with you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So eat it.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay. When you're in Mexico, eat an egg right before you get on a plane back here. And as soon as you land, eat an egg. That's an experiment.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay. That is an experiment. All right, I'll try that. An egg speriment.

[Nicole Byer]

I guess what I have for you is unconditional love. No conditions. I am not a pun girl.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But you're surrounded by pun people.

[Nicole Byer]

I know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I know.

[Nicole Byer]

Everyone in my life loves a fucking pun.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They're fun.

[Nicole Byer]

I think it's because I'm not quick in that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But sometimes you are, Arena. Sometimes you pull out a pun.

[Nicole Byer]

Every now and again, I will pull out a pun, and I'll be like, stop the presses. Stop the conversation. Did we hear what I said?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Listen to this, guys.

[Nicole Byer]

Get a load of this. Sometimes I am so proud of what I've said in a conversation. And it will, like, no one will clock it or acknowledge it. And I'll be like, excuse me. I said something really funny a minute ago, and I don't know if you heard it. Would you like me to repeat it?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I. I've definitely done that. Like, did you guys catch that? What I said? It was really funny. It was really witty.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. Because we should all be going. That was so funny.

[Sasheer Zamata]

When somebody says something funny, don't waste a funny line.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

People gotta hear this.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. You don't want it to float away like a fart in the wind.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What?

[Nicole Byer]

That's a quote from something. Or maybe that's a coalism. That's not how you say that word.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Close.

[Nicole Byer]

Colloquialism.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Colloquialism.

[Nicole Byer]

Colloquialism. Lord. Is it.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

It's from Shawshank.

[Nicole Byer]

I knew it. I knew it was from Shawshank Redemption, but I didn't want to just say it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You should have just said it.

[Nicole Byer]

Follow your heart.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Listen to your instincts.

[Nicole Byer]

I think Red says it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wow.

[Nicole Byer]

I love Shawshank Redemption.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Float away like a fart in the wind. So poetic.

[Nicole Byer]

Have you watched Shawshank Redemption?

[Sasheer Zamata]

It is a bummer. But doesn't. Isn't it nice at the end? Yes, but the whole movie is about.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. The journey to the. Because I feel like I've watched it so many times, and then I recently rewatched it, and I was like, whoa. This movie I love is really sad for one character. Well, two characters. Red keeps getting denied parole, and then Andy Dufresne has a rough time in prison, but they do both get to go to Zuatanejo. Zihuatanejo. Yeah, I want to go to Zihuatanejo.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Where is that again?

[Nicole Byer]

It's in Mexico.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

I wanted to say close to the border of Texas in Mexico, but I don't. I think that's just where Andy crossed. And I don't know where Zihuatanejo actually is.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

It's in the state of. I'm bad at this. Guerrero. On the Pacific coast of Mexico.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, okay. Pacific coast, where we are straight shot.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We just gotta go down.

[Nicole Byer]

We just gotta go down. Nice. I'm going down. I'm going down. Cause you ain't around, baby.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Perfect. You see our. On the marquee. This has been about best friends. No, it was like Nicole and Sasheer forever. Forever.

[Nicole Byer]

Aw, that's.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Listen to best friends.

[Nicole Byer]

I like that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, that's cute.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know how. I don't. I guess I don't clock it because I'm. I Hardly ever drive like past the studio.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I never. Lolita clocked it because she was in the passenger seat and she was like, oh, that's cute. I was like, oh, that is cute.

[Nicole Byer]

Ooh, let's take a break. Before Poshmark, I would be like, I don't know where to find a good vintage watch. I would just be in in stores going, these are all new. These are not vintage watches. I'd be in department stores going, where is your vintage watch section? And I'd be hunting all over and I would never find it. After I found Poshmark, I said, wow, this is a marketplace full of vintage watches and I can order them right to my home and I can look at a vintage watch on the Internet. Say I open Safari and I put in vintage watches and then I see one I like. I can, I can read the name and I can plug it into Poshmark and I can find it. Because Poshmark is the leading fashion resale marketplace shaped by real people and real style. Millions of new and pre loved items, from daily wardrobe staples to vintage and luxury fashion archive worthy pieces you thought you missed out on Forever Current essentials. One of a kind Vintage finds. It's all there. I was looking for a vintage Timex watch because I'm on a budget and I went on Poshmark and I found it. So when you're ready for a closet refresh, you can earn real money selling those pieces you're ready to part with. Reaching more than 80 million users on the platform. You guys, I was looking for a Time X watch because I'm on a budget and how did I find it on Poshmark? I said in the search bar Timex watch and I found it. I tracked it right on down and honestly, I was so surprised that the price was so reasonable. Yes, I was looking for a vintage forever watch and I found it on poshmark in about 10 minutes. And that was so nice. New deals and styles are listed every day, so don't wait. Download the Poshmark app and use code Best Friends when you sign up to get $10 off your first purchase. Or shop [e-mail] best friends and get $10 off your first purchase. That's P O S H m a r k.com Best Friends this episode is brought to you by Alma. A year from today, who do you want to be? What version of yourself would you like to meet? Do you feel less anxious or feel more like yourself? Maybe your relationship is stronger or the grief feels smaller. What if that thing you've been secretly worried about just took up less space in your mind. The right therapists can help you get there. Alma will help you find them. Alma has a directory of 20,000 therapists with different specialties, life life experiences and identities. And 99 of them take insurance. You deserve to feel like that future version of yourself. A year from today isn't that far away. Get started now@hello alma.com best friends. That's helloama.com B E S T F R I E N D S Support for this podcast is brought to you by Chamberlain University. I have to tell you, anytime I go to the hospital or a clinic, my anxiety is absolutely through the roof. It's just an overwhelming, scary place to be. But I feel like we have all experienced meeting an exceptional nurse who walks into the room and changes your day completely. They are so experienced and they know exactly what to say to take the panic out of the room and make a terrifying day feel completely manageable. And if you're looking for a new career path or you just want to do a job that truly matters, you can cannot help but think, wow, that is exactly the kind of nurse I want to be. Chamberlain University is where you start. Discover your calling at Chamberlain. Edu Chamberlain University belong to something greater. Certified to operate by Chev. And we're back. Should we do a quiz or something?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Let's do a quiz.

[Nicole Byer]

I bit my lip last night and it's, like, kind of hurting.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Does it feel, like, sore, like, open?

[Nicole Byer]

I don't think it's open. It's a little sore.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I hate it when you bite your lip and then you keep biting that same spot because it's. It's larger than usual so your, like, teeth keep running into it. G. It's annoying.

[Nicole Byer]

Terrible.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Terrible.

[Nicole Byer]

Also, biting your lip is, like, kind of humiliating.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's like, these are my own teeth.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, my own mouth, my own lips. And I just got, like, too excited to eat pizza. That's what happened last night. I was like, ow. Oh my God. And I was like, I gotta finish the pizza.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Or I've also, like, scratched the. The roof of my mouth a bunch with like, chips and it's like just shoving them into my mouth so hard. It's like, just.

[Nicole Byer]

Girl, just chew your food. Chew. Sometimes it. Ooh. What percent unicorn Are you okay?

[Sasheer Zamata]

What is your favorite color? Pink, purple, blue, red, orange, green. Oh, black, brown, yellow. Wow, that look at got hard.

[Nicole Byer]

That got so hard.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What is my favorite color out of these? I think I would say orange.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, yeah. Wait, what's Your favorite color in general, maybe gold. Gold, okay. Yeah, Mine's purple.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Surprise.

[Nicole Byer]

Purple. I'm wearing it now. The nails are purple.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Some of the rings are purple.

[Nicole Byer]

This ring is purple. I guess that's a shade of purple, too.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What do you think of glitter?

[Nicole Byer]

I think it's great.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's okay.

[Nicole Byer]

Not my strong suit.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Murderous.

[Nicole Byer]

Sure it was.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

It has pros and cons.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It has its pros and cons.

[Nicole Byer]

I think it's great.

[Sasheer Zamata]

When it comes to glitter, I would say it has its pros and cons, because I can think of a really strong con, which is that it gets everywhere.

[Nicole Byer]

It really does.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It takes so long to get it out of everything.

[Nicole Byer]

I once put a ton of glitter in a Father's day card for my dad, and he opened it in his office, and the noise he made was not the noise I thought he was gonna make. And boy, oh, boy, was he angry. And years later, we were still vacuuming purple glitter out of the carpet.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, it takes forever. Oopsies. There was a trend for a while where people were glitter bombing people, like their ex, or like, someone who cheated on them or someone who, like, deserved something. They would glitter bomb their room, and it's like, good luck cleaning that up.

[Nicole Byer]

Oof. That's wild. I read somewhere that, like, ladies would put glittered lotion on themselves if they went on a date. In case something not nice happened, they'd leave glitter around.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sucks that we have to booby trap ourselves.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But smart.

[Nicole Byer]

Smart. Yeah. But also devastating.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Devastating.

[Nicole Byer]

Pick an animal.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Dog.

[Nicole Byer]

Cat.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Bunny.

[Nicole Byer]

Sloth.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Tiger.

[Nicole Byer]

Owl. Lion. Swan.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Horse. Oh, I'm a say tiger.

[Nicole Byer]

Mm.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I am a tiger.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

Okay, you're both going tiger.

[Nicole Byer]

No. Okay, I'm going to say horse. I want to be a horse girl, and I'm not. I keep buying stuff with horses on it and going, I don't need this. I gotta give this away.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We should go to a horse race.

[Nicole Byer]

I would love to go to a horse race. We can.

[Sasheer Zamata]

There's, like, equestrian centers. Oh, yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I want to go to the Kentucky Derby and wear a big, nasty hat.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's fun.

[Nicole Byer]

What a dang treat that would be.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That'd be a treat.

[Nicole Byer]

A big, nasty hat.

[Sasheer Zamata]

A big nasty hat.

[Nicole Byer]

I can wear that purple hat that I got from the. That at stay sale.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's true. That's a perfect derby hat.

[Nicole Byer]

I love that hat, but I really have nowhere to wear it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And I could just wear it, but sometimes I really just don't want. I'm not in the mood for someone to look at me yeah. When I'm in the mood for someone to look at me, I don't want to wear the hat.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, it's. It's a specific. Like, there has to be something going on for the hat to come out.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like a masquerade ball.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, my goodness. I got to look at my calendar and see if I've got one coming up. Me and the Phantom of the Opera have a date. Go to the masquerade ball. I love that you said it's for something specific like a masquerade ball.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You know that yearly thing that happens when a masquerade ball comes up.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes. I gotta see if it's coming.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What season do you like the most? Spring, summer, winter, fall. Between spring and summer, Fall and winter.

[Nicole Byer]

It's pretty funny because I'm like, are those really seasons? I don't think so.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's like two weeks.

[Nicole Byer]

I like the two days between spring and summer.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

You know what's interesting? Theoretically, I love summer.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

But then I get so sick of summer because it's so fucking hot.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So hot.

[Nicole Byer]

And then theoretically, love winter because I love a sweater. But then it gets so cold. Yeah. Hmm. I'm gonna say. I'm gonna. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna pull the trigger and say an insane one. I'm gonna say between spring and summer.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That is insane.

[Nicole Byer]

Nicole, You crazy? I'm wild.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm gonna say spring. Official.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay, Pick a movie.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Genre.

[Nicole Byer]

Comedy, Action, sci, fi, fantasy, romance, Mystery. I don't watch enough mystery movies.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I guess I don't either.

[Nicole Byer]

I think I'd like to get into that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay. Is, like, Knives Out a missing movie. Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

And that's what I was thinking. I was like, I think I would. I would love to watch more movies like Knives Out.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sometimes I get frustrated with mystery movies because I'm like, what is it? Tell me what's happening? Who did it?

[Nicole Byer]

Sometimes watching a normal movie is a mystery to me. I will have eyes on it, watching the whole time, and be like, hey, who is that? And then sometimes I'll be like, don't ask, who is it? Because both of us are watching it. And, like, I'll figure it out. Later, someone will tell me who this person is.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Later, my girlfriend and I were watching James Bond, one of the James Bond movies, and someone had just described exactly what was gonna happen in the Mission. And then the scene changed, and I was like, so what are they supposed to do?

[Nicole Byer]

And she was like, they just said it. Literally just laid it out.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And I was like, oh, it's really hard to follow.

[Nicole Byer]

Sometimes it is hard to follow. And you're like, wait, how did they end up here?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I watched one movie that took place on a train. It was a Denzel Washington and I think Chris Brown Pine. Two hander, one location, this train. And you wouldn't believe the amount of questions I had the move. Like, the whole thing was like, this train's going too fast. Stop it. And I was like, wait, how did it get fast again?

[Sasheer Zamata]

And why are they on a train?

[Nicole Byer]

And I was like, and why is Chris Pine his friend?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like, it's really funny.

[Nicole Byer]

So many questions. Like, to the point where I was like, I gotta stop asking that. I just won't know. It's just. It's a train. They gotta stop it. Like, I think that's all I need to know. A movie genre. I'm a. Ooh.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What you gonna say? I'm gonna say action.

[Nicole Byer]

That's exactly what I'm gonna say. I love an action movie.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Same. Mm. What do you think others like about you? Smart, fun, friendly, reliable, funny, Comforting.

[Nicole Byer]

I think I'm fun.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Definitely.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm like, pretty down to clown.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You a fun girl? I would say comforting.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. I think I've gotten. Lately.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I've gotten some comments about my calm demeanor.

[Nicole Byer]

Wow. She's in her comfy era.

[Sasheer Zamata]

My comfy era? Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Vanilla, strawberry, chocolate, cookie dough, butter, pecan.

[Nicole Byer]

Neapolitan.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You have some opinions about that?

[Nicole Byer]

I do not like Neapolitan.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I see.

[Nicole Byer]

Who's ordering Neapolitan?

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's not the one. That's, like, different. Like chocolate, strawberry. Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

And vanilla is the three hits in one together.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. That's strange.

[Nicole Byer]

But you're never going to get, like, a scoop of all three. They're so far apart.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That is also true.

[Nicole Byer]

Mushes up. So it's chocolate and vanilla and, like, what? It's mud by the end. What is.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay, ignore it.

[Nicole Byer]

I need to know who created Neapolitan and why.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, is it someone named Neapolitan?

[Nicole Byer]

Maybe it was. No.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Napoleon.

[Nicole Byer]

Nope. Nope. That's what I was gonna say. And I was like, that's not. Those are not the same words. Neapolitan and Napoleon.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, it's not.

[Nicole Byer]

But I really do need to know why it was created.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm so sorry. I got so upset.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hmm. And, like, why were they like. Cause it's like, just get three scoops of the ice cream. Okay.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

It's from a. It's from 19th century Naples.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

And it was brought to the US by immigrants, and it was created to showcase multi flavored ice cream. And the early versions mimicked the Italian flag with green pistachio, white vanilla, and red cherry.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay, that makes more fudgeing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So much sense. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Also like. Yeah, who. Who took over that?

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

So those. The flavors changed in the late 19th, early 20th century because those are American favorite flavors.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They said, fuck Italians.

[Nicole Byer]

We ruin everything. I thought it was gonna be like a World War II thing where it was like, we have to ration the ice cream, but the kids deserve a treat. Combine. Get the scraps, give the children scraps. But my favorite flavor of ice cream is vanilla. And I don't care what anybody says. People are like, vanilla. People are boring. No, we're not. Vanilla's a flavor, and it's good.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It is a flavor.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I. Oh.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm 100% unicorn. You are definitely a unicorn in disguise. You see the entire world as a place filled with hope and positivity. You have a fierce imagination, and you are a very imaginative and creative person. Good luck, unicorn. Good luck, unicorn. I like the picture they picked of that unicorn. It's, like, kind of smiling.

[Sasheer Zamata]

He looks kind of tired too.

[Nicole Byer]

Well, he's doing too much magic with that horn.

[Sasheer Zamata]

The whole rainbow came out of his. His horn. Okay. And mine. My favorite flavor. I'm gonna say cookie dough because I mostly like the cookie part.

[Nicole Byer]

That's fine.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm only 10% unicorn. Only 10%.

[Nicole Byer]

That's wild.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's such a small percentage.

[Nicole Byer]

I can't believe you're only 10% unicorn. Yeah. What answer?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Some of our answers are the same.

[Nicole Byer]

Whoa.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You are more of a realist and you prefer the more logical side of things. That is true. Yeah, that actually is really true. Wow.

[Nicole Byer]

Okay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But just 10. Not even, like, 20.

[Nicole Byer]

That is wild. 10. 10 unicorn.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But the description is apt.

[Nicole Byer]

It is. It is. It's very accurate. Yeah. Wow. That was a treat. I'm a hundred. I'm a unicorn.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You're a hundred percent.

[Nicole Byer]

My God.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wow.

[Nicole Byer]

Now what do I do with that information?

[Sasheer Zamata]

You go be magical somewhere.

[Nicole Byer]

Imagine I just start floating. I would love to levitate.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Very cool.

[Nicole Byer]

Just hover. Mm. Should we answer some questions?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Let's get into it. When David Blaine would hover all over the place.

[Nicole Byer]

I had a friend. Yes, I do remember. I had a friend who said they saw David Blaine and his first trick was just throwing himself into empty boxes, and he, like, broke his arm. And I was like, yeah, he really wasn't doing, like, magic. He was like, what if I die in front of an audience?

[Sasheer Zamata]

He's like the jackass of magic.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Let me fit in this tiny box

[Nicole Byer]

and put me in water. Yeah. Like, some mistakes were like, watch me sleep up high. It's really funny.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It is funny.

[Nicole Byer]

I haven't thought about him in so long.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think he's still doing stuff. I don't know what he's doing. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I wonder how he is.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I hope well.

[Nicole Byer]

I hope well too. David Blaine, if you're listening, reach out to us. Let us know how you're doing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We're thinking about you.

[Nicole Byer]

We're thinking about you. Imagine someone showed that to him and he was like, why are these women concerned about me?

[Sasheer Zamata]

He's like, I'm totally fine.

[Nicole Byer]

I'm absolutely fine. I have a show where I'm going to hurl myself off the Empire State Building tomorrow. I don't break every bone in my

[Sasheer Zamata]

body and do it again the next night.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, they're gonna drag my bones up there, hurl me off again. All right, let's answer a question.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

Okay. Hi, Nicole and Sasheer. I am currently in a situationship. I'll call her Brenda. And we have a friend group of three other girls we hang with. Brenda and I have a good time together, but she has some problematic behaviors that affect our relationship and have affected the entire friend group. She's overly emotional, highly sensitive, and highly defensive. I'm working through some of these issues with her in our personal relationship, but the friend group has gotten fed up because of Brenda. Our group hangouts were becoming so stressful that they weren't enjoyable anymore. She tried to organize an out of state trip for all of us, and her behaviors ended up being so off putting it that the others in the group decided to cancel the trip completely. None of the other girls felt like they could talk to Brenda and tell her how they felt because she's so emotional and erratic. So about a month ago, when things came to a head, I decided it was time to say something. I got permission from the group, then had a conversation with Brenda to tell her the concerns the group had as a whole. Needless to say, this did not go well. She refuted all of my claims, denied any responsibility, and turned the blame back on me. Slash us. On top of that, she's now ousted herself from the group completely and is very clearly stated she will no longer be a part of it. She and I still see each other even though it's sometimes strained. I'm still hanging out with the group. Brenda is not. My question is, should I feel guilty about blowing this whole thing up? The group was talking about these behaviors consistently behind her back, and I'm just the one who decided to be upfront with her about it. Should any part of me feel guilty about her not being a part of the group anymore, even though it's fully her choice? I can't explain how much I love you guys. You are literally the sunshine that lights up my whole day. Thank you for reading Tiffany in Texas.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, did. Did I miss the part? Did they specify what the behavior was?

[Nicole Byer]

No, unfortunately.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Nicole Byer]

Just behaviors that the group didn't like. And I guess Brenda's very emotional, so it's hard to talk to Brenda about things. I don't think they should feel guilty at all. You said, what's up? Brenda said, brenda, stop hanging. That's Brenda.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's Brenda for you.

[Nicole Byer]

That's Brenda.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Like, you were honest and that's a good thing. And if Brenda didn't like what she heard, that's for Brenda to figure out.

[Nicole Byer]

And. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And Brenda chose to leave the group and that's kind of all you can do. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Because what the other other option was to not say anything at all and like, let her.

[Nicole Byer]

Let it wreak havoc. Esther.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

That is wild. That Brenda. It was Brenda who planned a trip out of state and then was acting up and everyone was like, oh, we can't go anywhere with you. Ye.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh,

[Nicole Byer]

I wonder. Okay, maybe I'm like reading into this too much, but maybe the person who talked to Brenda about their behavior threw the friend group under the bus. Because if the person who wrote in is confronting Brenda, but Brenda's still chilling with her.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, why is that?

[Nicole Byer]

Why? There's guilt.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, a sleuth. Come on, Tyler Perry. She created drama.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. I wonder if it was a thing where it's like, you didn't hear from me or like, yes, I don't think this, but the other girls think maybe you are crazy. Yeah, I wonder.

[Nicole Byer]

I need to know how it was presented to Brenda.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

And what Brenda was doing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I know.

[Nicole Byer]

I wish I want to know what

[Sasheer Zamata]

Brenda was doing, but. Yeah, like, that I maybe would feel guilty about if it was like you maybe didn't say that you aligned with these views.

[Nicole Byer]

Uh huh.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Because that is easier to be like, I think you're good, but everyone else.

[Nicole Byer]

But everyone else.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, but we don't know.

[Nicole Byer]

We don't know. And that was just a hypothetical. I'm not blaming our listener because I love that you listen. Don't think I'm, you know, I'm not being rude to you. I'm just saying what if, what if, what if?

[Sasheer Zamata]

But if that didn't happen, and the listener just, like, was straight up, like, here's the information. Here's the lowdown. Here's what we think. Which also, maybe Brenda still hangs with this listener because they're like, well, you're the only.

[Nicole Byer]

You're the only one.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Which is valid. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah. I don't think you should feel guilty.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sometimes it happens. And also, maybe Brenda might come back to the group. But also sounds like it wasn't working well, anyway, so it's probably for the best that maybe Brenda doesn't have that energy. Yeah. In this circle.

[Nicole Byer]

And then Brenda could go out and find other people to terrorize. Or maybe she won't be a terrorist with a new friend group.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Truly, sometimes people, like, have a different energy with different people. Maybe Brenda was, like, feeling erratic for other reasons. Like maybe she was feeling the reaction of other people to her personality.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And it was, like, heightening something. So maybe with other people she can be calm.

[Nicole Byer]

Who knows what's going on with Brenda?

[Sasheer Zamata]

What's going on Brenda?

[Nicole Byer]

There's something about Brenda there. Something like that movie. There's Something about Kevin. Never seen it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I thought it was a. I thought

[Nicole Byer]

you were talking about.

[Sasheer Zamata]

There's Something about Mary.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

We need to talk about Kevin.

[Nicole Byer]

We need to talk about Mary. Those are the ones I've seen. It's really funny. I really that up there something about

[Sasheer Zamata]

Kevin that's really funny.

[Nicole Byer]

Soft.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

Okay. Hi, Nicole. Hi, Sasheer. Me and my best friend have known each other since freshman year high school, and we're now in our early 30s. I love this woman to the ends of the earth. And we often tell each other we are basically soulmates in the form of friends. But there's something that she does that has really been bothering me lately. She's a chronic plan canceler. It doesn't happen every time, but it does happen often. Usually we make plans at least a week ahead of time. But when it comes to the actual day, she would cancel. Sometimes it's for valid reasons, like money problems, but other times I feel like it's something she can work through, like she started her period, but she will also cancel simply because she doesn't feel like it anymore. It seems like at almost any inconvenience, whether big or small, she would cancel. Just in the last week, she has canceled and rescheduled three times. And don't get me wrong, I'm very understanding and won't ever hold it against her. I get that shit happens. But lately, when she has been canceling on me, I've been feeling sad and frustrated. Mind you, I've never canceled on her, but I can't help but feel some type of way because I wouldn't cancel on plans I've made with someone. Even if I didn't want to go anymore, but I already made the plan, I would still show up. And more often than not, I will say I'm glad I went. I haven't brought it up because I don't want to come off as insensitive or not understanding of whatever her situation is. So I've been keeping it to myself. But being canceled on so often doesn't feel good. Especially the day of, why do you think? Or what do you think I should do? Or how can I deal with this? Am I wrong for feeling like this? Should I just let it go? I also will say, although she cancels often, often when we do get to hang, everything is all good and the negative thoughts and feelings go away as if none of that ever happened, but. So our friendship hasn't been affected. Anyway, I love listening to the podcast every week, and it's one of my comfort podcasts. You two ladies are such a light in this world. Love you both.

[Nicole Byer]

On one hand, I'm like, yes, diva, cancel. Yes, you have your period. Stay home. But on the flip side, I'm like, you can't do that. You have to show it for your community in order to have a community.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, it's not like, never cancel. Like, pick the stuff. Yes. Because also, like, one of the excuses was money. You know, you knew last week you didn't have enough money, girl.

[Nicole Byer]

You called her poor. You said you knew you were poor last week. You're poor today. Nothing's happened. You didn't scratch hard enough. You didn't win the lottery. I can't believe you called her friend poor like that. But, like, you know, you're absolutely like,

[Sasheer Zamata]

day of being like, oh, I don't have enough money for tonight. Like, you knew. You had to have known you were in a place to do that the

[Nicole Byer]

day of their hanging. She's like, wells Fargo, am I poor?

[Sasheer Zamata]

They're like, yeah, bitch, is there any money in my. I don't know. Can't go to cancel.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah, no, I know exactly what you mean. Yeah. If you're making a plan for next Thursday to do something that you have money and you know you don't have money. Don't make a plan that you got to spend money on. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And there's plenty of plans that don't require money. You can go to the park for free.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes, you can.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You can. Maybe a beach.

[Nicole Byer]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Beaches are free. Beaches are free. Come over to your house and watch a movie.

[Nicole Byer]

That's free.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's free.

[Nicole Byer]

Unless you gotta stream it somewhere.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Unless you gotta rent it.

[Nicole Byer]

Oh, Lord. Oh, Lord. But I do think that our listener who wrote in needs to talk to their friend. Yes. And say, hey, I love hanging with you. Hanging with you is really, really fun. But, like, it is really tough to make plans and then you cancel. It doesn't make me feel good. Yeah, it makes me. Makes me feel like I'm low on the priority list and I don't want to feel low on the priority list. And hanging out's really important.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I agree with everything you just said. Yes.

[Nicole Byer]

And then call her a broke ass bitch. Say, I don't want. No scrub your friend who makes the plan and can't afford it. She's a buster. Call her poor right at the end, color for it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And I'm gonna find some rich friends. Yeah, no, definitely. You need to have a conversation and it doesn't have to be like a confrontation. Like, like you said, the hangs are good, but you. And maybe you can highlight that. Be like, when we do hang, it feels so nice. And so when we don't, it is a bummer to me and I'd rather you say you're not available than actually make plans with me and say no, because that's a bigger disappointment than, like, me expecting to hang out with you and then we don't. Rather than you saying you're not available and I can just make a new plan.

[Nicole Byer]

Yes, because she could be overextending herself. We don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Mm. Yeah.

[Nicole Byer]

Solved.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Well, if you have a question or query, you can email us at our email nicoleandsheermail.com we also have a phone number.

[Nicole Byer]

And if you work at the Langham Hotel, Chicago, and you want to let me be a hotel influencer, let me know at 323-238-6554. Let me know with that number. Well, well, stay strong, Langham. Goodbye. Best Friends is a production of Headgum Studios.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Our producer is Ali Khan.

[Nicole Byer]

Our executive executive producer is Anya Konovskaya.

[Sasheer Zamata]

The show is edited, mixed and engineered by Rachelle Chen.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

Hi, I am Mandy Moore.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sterling K. Brown.

[Nicole Byer]

And I'm Chris Sullivan. And we host the podcast that was us now on Headgum.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

Each episode.

[Nicole Byer]

We're gonna go into a deep dive from our show.

[Sasheer Zamata]

This is us. That's right.

[Producer/Ali Khan]

We're gonna go episode by episode. We're also gonna pepper in episodes with different guest stars and writers and casting directors.

[Nicole Byer]

Are we going to cry?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes, a little bit.

[Nicole Byer]

Are we going to laugh a lot? A whole lot.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's what I'm hoping, man. Listen to that. Was us on your favorite podcast app. Or watch full video episodes on YouTube or Spotify. New episodes every Tuesday.