Sasheer’s Axe Ricocheted (w/ Big Dipper & Meatball)

Summary

Best Friends with Nicole Byer & Sasheer Zamata

"Sasheer’s Axe Ricocheted" (w/ Big Dipper & Meatball)

Episode Date: October 15, 2025
Guests: Big Dipper (rapper/podcaster), Meatball (drag queen/podcaster)
Podcast Network: Headgum

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Episode Overview

This episode is a lively, laughter-filled exploration of friendship as Nicole and Sasheer welcome their real-life friends Big Dipper and Meatball. The discussion bounces through the joys, perils, and sometimes gross realities of close friendship, sharing stories from their lives and podcasts ("Sloppy Seconds"), revealing how their dynamic works both on and off the mic. The group covers everything from gun ranges and ax-throwing mishaps to the intricacies of vacationing as friends, including the often undiscussed factor of money, all with their trademark sharp wit and warmth.

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Main Discussion Points & Highlights

Meeting of the Minds: Friendship Chemistry & Podcasting

• Nicole and Sasheer joyfully introduce Big Dipper and Meatball, highlighting their careers and friendship.
• The group jokes about podcast etiquette, ADHD, and how the Internet "diagnoses" everything.
  • [03:09] Sasheer: "Yeah. The Internet has. It's called the Internet."

Big Dipper & Meatball Origin Story:

• Meatball relays their first meeting at FUBAR (not Precinct), when she bought merch from Big Dipper before either was podcast-famous.
• Their friendship grew from working together on their own show, "Sloppy Seconds," before they truly hung out socially.
  • [24:16] Big Dipper: "We basically worked together two or three years before... we socialize outside the podcast."
  • [24:26] Meatball: "Yeah, we never really hung out."

Gun Ranges, Axe Throwing, and the Hazards of Group Activities

• Stories of visiting gun ranges, feelings around guns, and Nicole’s revelation:
  • [07:25] Nicole: "I was screaming, and then I was like, if I had a gun, I would have shot him."
  • Meatball finds shooting "horny," Dipper is less enthused.
• Group recalls a near disaster with axe throwing:
  • [13:55] Sasheer: "...I threw an ax so hard that it bounced back towards me."
• The group reflects on group event planning and activities that teeter into danger (water parks, ropes courses), always connecting it to both the fun and anxiety of doing things with friends.

The Sacred "Bed Day"

• Meatball explains the glory of "bed day”—a day spent eating (often naked) in bed, binge-watching TV, and decompressing from social obligations.
  • [09:15] Meatball: "So you just kind of resign to the bed..."
  • Conversation includes eating techniques, crumbs, hygiene, and FaceTiming during shared bed days.
  • [11:31] Sasheer: "If I'm doing bed day, I'm eating on my tummy."

Poop, Ice Machines, and Childhood Gross-Outs

• The conversation spirals (in the best way) into tales of vomiting in lakes, pooping in oceans, and the prevalence of "slime in the ice machine" (a Texas restaurant health scare).
  • [16:13] Meatball: "Well, I had to go real bad, and it was a Christian group trip, and there was no way to go..."
  • [18:19] Meatball: "There used to be a guy... called Slime in the Ice Machine..."
• The hosts debate how much podcasts discuss poop—“probably like 20%,” per Nicole.

Friendship & Money: Real Talk

• Big Dipper and Meatball candidly address how affording trips and experiences impacts adult friendship.
  • [59:38] Sasheer: "I think having friends with the same monetary means is an important conversation that nobody really talks about."
  • [59:41] Big Dipper: "And how shitty would it be if you can't afford it and you push yourself to do it and then you're miserable or in debt..."

Fatphobia & Bad Instructors: Bungee Fitness Gone Wrong

• Nicole recounts a fatphobic, dismissive experience at a Burbank bungee class, calling out poor treatment and re-affirming the need for inclusivity in fitness.
  • [32:04] Sasheer: "...And then at one point, she goes. And that's why it's very important to not lie about your weight. And then landed on me."
  • Group riffs on similar experiences, emphasizing that every body deserves supportive fitness spaces.

Best Friendship Games: "Besting Each Other"

The guests play a game designed to see who knows the other better:

Favorite Trip Memories

• [47:07] Big Dipper: "A costing Silky Nutmeg Ganache in the Delta Lounge in Atlanta together."
• [47:41] Meatball: "I put strippers in Atlanta."
• Both recall wild highlights, from impromptu celebrity podcasting to unforgettable (elderly!) strippers.

Admiring Each Other

• [51:05] Big Dipper: "Mine is that Meatball is funny."
• [52:31] Meatball: "I wrote that he does all the work and the planning. And he answers my emails."
• The duo describes their complementary friendship: Meatball brings charisma and openness, Big Dipper brings organization and drive.

Who Would Win "Survivor"?

• Meatball (an Eagle Scout) claims the title:
  • [63:11] Meatball: "I'm an eagle Scout and I've been camping before. I know how to start a fire and shoot a gun."
• Big Dipper jokes that neither would last, but gives kudos for Meatball’s survival skills.

20 Years From Now: Future Hopes

• Both joke about being dead, but also dream about opening a gay resort or club together.
  • [66:09] Big Dipper: "Owning a Big Gay Business."
  • Emphasis that their friendship means building business and life together—even into old age.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the “friendship application” process:
  • [60:27] Meatball: "So get out there and only be friends with people who make the exact same amount of money as you."
• On bed days:
  • [09:15] Meatball: "You just kind of resign to the bed, and you lay down a blanket... you got a food blanket. It's all food."
• On inclusivity in fitness:
  • [32:43] Sasheer: "I gave them 10 extra pounds because I said, I'm not dying in Burbank."
• On keeping friendships real:
  • [73:00] Big Dipper: "I think that friendship is way more important than a lot of us give it, like, credit or thought to..."
  • [74:31] Meatball: "I think three or four actually close friends that know you is better than having, like, 30 friends that barely care about you."
• True friendship is relying on each other’s strengths:
  • [51:59] Sasheer: "Do it. Make it serious."
  • [52:00] Big Dipper: "...sometimes I get really weird or awkward and Meatball is always there to be funny."
  • [52:31] Meatball: "...he does all the work and the planning. Annie answers my emails."

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Episode Timeline

• 00:00–01:32 — Intros, banter, and sponsors
• 01:32–03:09 — Welcoming guests, friendship dynamics, ADHD jokes
• 03:09–07:17 — Personality tests, TikTok “autism reveal” parties, quoting movies
• 07:17–13:02 — Gun stories, car accidents, drag queens with guns, Atlanta ribs story
• 13:02–16:38 — Bed days, eating in bed etiquette (positions, crumbs), eating nude
• 16:38–20:01 — Vomit and poop tales, “slime in the ice machine,” fast-food nightmares
• 21:48–24:16 — Friendship origin stories: how Big Dipper & Meatball really met
• 31:45–34:05 — Calling out a bad bungee fitness experience (fatphobia, bad instruction)
• 40:44–56:07 — Friendship games: favorite memories, favorite things about each other, karaoke, and dreaming of Broadway
• 63:03–69:47 — Would they survive "Survivor"? Travel and body inclusivity (zip lines & pole studios)
• 71:02–72:42 — Plugs: "Sloppy Seconds" podcast, YouTube channels, Fat Slut party, and Big Dipper’s NSFW event
• 72:39–74:46 — Parting wisdom about friendship: it’s quality (not quantity), honest communication, and gratitude

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Takeaways on Friendship (Final Thoughts)

• Meatball:
  [72:39] “Sometimes friendships go up and down on a rocky road... Sometimes nurturing them means not answering phone calls... Then the next time you see each other, it’s like you’re brand new friends again. So ignore your friends until you want to.”

• Big Dipper:
  [73:00] “I think that friendship is way more important than a lot of us give it, like, credit or thought to, you know...don't let Instagram fool you—those few very close friends are more valuable than a hundred acquaintances.”

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Closing Tone

Warm, rowdy, and full of quick wit, the episode captures the magic of chosen family, with the hosts and guests embracing candor, humor, and real talk. There's a little gross-out, a little wisdom, and a lot of affectionate roasting—perfect for anyone who’s ever wondered how best friends make it work, year after year.

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Find Big Dipper & Meatball online:

• Podcast: "Sloppy Seconds"
• YouTube: @sloppysecondshow
• Instagram: @meatballthequeen
• Events: Look out for Big Dipper’s adult parties and Meatball’s "Fat Slut" party

Nicole & Sasheer:

• Podcast: "Best Friends"
• Stay tuned for possible upcoming whale-watching escapades—with or without purple guns and ribs.

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Summary by Podcast Summarizer AI — Bringing you every laugh, insight, and friendship truth, minus the crumbs in bed.

Transcript

[Sasheer Zamata]

One of my favorite parts of fall is making my home feel super homey and cozy. Almost like giving it its own wardrobe refresh. One of my favorite places to shop for my home is Macy's because in addition to helping you curate looks for you, their fall fashion guide curates looks for your home. I'm personally loving the country floral vibe. There is a gorgeous matching kitchen set from Mackenzie Childs with the sweetest wild rose pattern. And for the bedroom hotel collection has some super soft floral bed sheets. I'm also going to add some textural pieces into the mix, like a plush throw from Ugh. And doesn't it just look great on the couch? It's also so warm and plush. Perfect for movie nights. Shop@macy's.com or in store. I'm right about a lot of things.

[Meatball]

That people have zero clue that they.

[Big Dipper]

Even know is going on.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, okay.

[Meatball]

HBO Max presents a new comedy series, the Chair Company.

[Big Dipper]

You've been distracted.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I feel like you're hiding something.

[Meatball]

There's so much badness in this world. From the creators of I think you should leave. People are nuts out there. Starring Tim Robinson.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, my God, you're disgusting. These are my work clothes.

[Meatball]

The HBO original series the Chair Company premieres this Sunday at 10pm on HBO Max. This is a headgun podcast.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sasheer. We have guests today.

[Big Dipper]

Yay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Big Dipper and Meatball are best friends and entertaintors who host the popular podcast Sloppy Seconds. Big Dipper is a rapper known for Body positive, Queer, Hip hop Queer, and Meatball's a drag queen, period period friendship. Hello, Sasheer. Hello, Nicole. We have guests. We have guests. Isn't that fun? It is very fun. And they're our friends. They are our friends. Can you believe?

[Big Dipper]

We can believe it. We're your friends.

[Meatball]

I believe it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't know. The M's really led me to believe that. You guys don't think we're friends.

[Meatball]

I believe we're friends. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You're coming in real hot.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I actually interpreted that because sometimes when you're on a podcast, you don't know when you're ready, when it's like your turn to talk. So I think they were just. They're doing polite. We acknowledge, but we don't know if it's our time to jump in. Ah, I get that. But it can be. It can be. Jump on.

[Meatball]

You can go.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hello, Antonio. Listen, I'm struggling. I forgot to take my ADHD medicine.

[Meatball]

I love that journey for you. This is gonna be real fun today. And you've had Two cups of coffee now.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Well, yeah, sometimes with coffee and my.

[Meatball]

Adhd, it helps me focus. And then sometimes I go the other way, and I just start running in circles around the house, chasing my cats, doing nothing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Since there's no cats here, I'm hoping it goes the other way.

[Meatball]

Okay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That I lock in.

[Big Dipper]

Always walk the other way. Is there a test for that?

[Sasheer Zamata]

For adhd?

[Big Dipper]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. The Internet has. It's called the Internet.

[Big Dipper]

It's on your phone, it's at home. It's 5G in the sky.

[Sasheer Zamata]

The Internet. You Google, like, ADHD tests. Like, I took an autism test on the Internet, and it said slightly, but.

[Big Dipper]

Who is the administrator?

[Meatball]

I think you actually have to go see, like, a therapist or a psychoanalyst.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah, but how do they know?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Just Buzzfeed will tell you. Take a Buzzfeed quiz.

[Meatball]

I recently saw on TikTok that someone had, like, a autism reveal party where they got their results back from the autism test. And then they threw, like, a big party, and they were, like, mildly autistic, and everyone was like, we knew it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And then I think they. Oh, they had the results in a pinata that they broke. And then they spent most of the party putting the results together.

[Meatball]

Cause it was a puzzle. Oh, that's what it was. Genius behavior.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I love it.

[Meatball]

God, we all have the same feed. Look at us. Real friends.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But also, like, what if you take the test and it's like, no, you're good. And you're like, but then what is it? Well, then you got to go to something. Then you got to go to therapy.

[Meatball]

You got to go figure it out.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Because you're like, something's afoot because you.

[Big Dipper]

Meatball. You just think autism is when you quote movies.

[Meatball]

No, I think that I have. I have a friend who has, like, a very strain. Like, she can just.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Cause you quote movies. You're right. I also quote the not famous part of movies.

[Meatball]

Yes. So I think if you have, like, an encyclopedic knowledge of, like, everything, and I say a word and you sing a song based on that, or you say a quote based on it. I'm like, something's not right.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Don't point at me.

[Meatball]

Something's right. They were shooting on Griffith.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Who is it? Who has it? That's the wild thing. I walked in, I said, I'm the latest a person can be.

[Big Dipper]

They were shooting on Griffin park.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And I'm in a movie. They're like, hollywood's back, baby. Gabby NY gave out those tax credits. He's got to do more.

[Meatball]

Yeah. Do more.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Do more. We know you're watching.

[Meatball]

Don't make us pay to use the streets. Make it free.

[Big Dipper]

Free streets.

[Meatball]

Free the streets.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Free the streets.

[Meatball]

Or there will be more shootings on Griffith.

[Big Dipper]

No worries. Well, you're not too.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You're not too far.

[Meatball]

I want to get a gun.

[Big Dipper]

Holster those. Put those away. You are my most vocally gun enthusiast friend. And I think the least. You're the person you should get along the least.

[Meatball]

Why?

[Big Dipper]

Because you're impulsive.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I. Have you shot a gun? Have either of you shot a gun?

[Meatball]

Yes, I've shot a gun. It made me so horny. It was crazy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It didn't make me horny. Wait, so sure. Have you shot a gun? I've only done the clay shooting with like a rifle.

[Meatball]

So he said, yes, but yeah, that's shooting a gun.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah, I was like a handgun gun range. Like we were on a private. We had shut down the gun range to do this like art project that I was helping produce. And so we had the full. We had like access to all the guns, including the, the automatic rifles.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, no.

[Big Dipper]

And all the people were like, hey, who wants to shoot them? Like. And I was like, I will. No thank you.

[Meatball]

Like, I want to feel the power of cold steel in your hands. You're fired off bullets. Small explosions in your head. This is why explosions really getting your body worked up for a night alone.

[Big Dipper]

Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I popped hop pop once and I went with John Millhiser, my old roommate. And the guy checking us in was like, so do any of you have any felonies, like as a joke? And I was like, actually, I might. I don't know. I've been arrested. And I didn't follow up. And all he said was, well, you don't sign in. Your friend can do it. And I was like, I just said I'm a criminal. I truly just said I was a criminal. He said, that's okay.

[Big Dipper]

What you actually said was you were forgetful.

[Meatball]

Yeah. You said, I don't know if I'm a criminal. One time I went and some at the gun range and the guy, they put a person right next to us and I was like, that's scary. And it was an old guy. And he kept on like he was learning from someone else.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So.

[Meatball]

So he kept pulling the gun out and like kind of waving it and like his friend would grab his hand and hold it. And I was like, this is how I die. It's like learning to shoot a gun.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, that's fucking scary. I once got Into a car accident. And I was like, this is why I don't have a gun. Because this man got mad at me. He thought I cut him off. I don't think I did. And then he, like, swerved around me in, like, the median lane and then tried to, like, cut me off, but ended up clipping me. And then we pulled over, and I got out of my car, and I screamed at him. I said, oh, you think you. You're a big boy. You think you're so fucking smart. I was screaming, and then I was like, you did no damage to my car. You have damage, and I don't care. And I got in my car and was like, if I had a gun, I would have shot him.

[Meatball]

Hmm.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Mm.

[Meatball]

See, I don't think my gun would leave the house, so that wouldn't be an option.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Are you kidding? I'm getting a teensy, tiny gun. It's gonna be purple. I'm putting it in my purse.

[Meatball]

I was just at a drag show in Atlanta, and a girl had a gun in her purse.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes. That's how people roll. Yeah.

[Meatball]

But no one decided. No one wanted to bring me ribs.

[Sasheer Zamata]

There's a gun here, but no ribs.

[Meatball]

There was a gun, but no ribs.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wait, you were in Atlanta, and they didn't bring you any ribs?

[Meatball]

No. Well, Tammy Brown let me have one of her ribs from the night before, and it really opened up something in me where I was.

[Big Dipper]

They own ribs.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Here's the thing.

[Meatball]

Really good. A cold rib right off the bone.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Here's the thing. I'm with you. That's nice. If it's a good rib, cold, a day old. That's nice.

[Meatball]

That's the best time.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, my God. Have you been to Bludsos?

[Meatball]

Yes, I love Bludsos. O. Oh, God. I almost ordered from them last night.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, my God. Sage twinsies.

[Big Dipper]

You almost ordered from them 10 minutes ago.

[Meatball]

I know. I really was gonna order them to the studio, and I was like, pull it together. So I've decided I'm gonna wait until Thursday when I have a day off, and I'm gonna eat it in bed.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Can you.

[Big Dipper]

You mention eating in bed a lot?

[Meatball]

Yes. It's called bed day. Have we never heard of bed day?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I haven't heard of bed day.

[Meatball]

Oh, you have a whole day off. You're exhausted from having to be fun and friendly with everybody and host shows and talk to all these people, and so you just kind of resign to the bed, and you lay down a blanket on the bed, and you have, like, a little piece of the food blank. And you have, you know, you got a food blanket. It's all food. You turn on the TV and you just binge watch something. And maybe you have a cocktail in bed.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That sounds really nice.

[Meatball]

Maybe it just. It's whiskey. But you order food. Too much food. Talk about so much food that you feel sick when you go.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Nice.

[Meatball]

And then you can't leave the house. And then it's bed day.

[Sasheer Zamata]

This is a poetic binge and I'm here for it.

[Big Dipper]

What is your body doing, though?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I said I was here for it.

[Meatball]

What is my body doing? It's gurgling and grumbling.

[Big Dipper]

Oh, I mean physically.

[Meatball]

Like, why don't we describe how I'm eating nude in my bed?

[Big Dipper]

I don't know.

[Meatball]

I'm butt ass. Nature how I would do it.

[Big Dipper]

Are you laying flat on your back?

[Meatball]

Yeah, but you take all the decorative pillows off the bed and then you put a towel over the pillows.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wait, you're naked?

[Meatball]

Why is that the part that makes you.

[Big Dipper]

Have you never eaten naked?

[Meatball]

You've never eaten fully nude in the bed?

[Big Dipper]

No, see, I'll eat naked by the bed.

[Meatball]

See, now, if I was you, bed day would be bed pool day, and it would be half naked in bed. And then I'd go down in the hot tub and really chill out. Help digest.

[Big Dipper]

Why half naked?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, why half?

[Meatball]

I'm sorry, four.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And which half? Yeah, which half? Top or bottom?

[Meatball]

It would be top off. Bottoms off, baby. Is it weird to eat in bed? Have you ever enjoyed. Okay, so you're on a trip, you're at a hotel.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Definitely eating in bed. Yes, yes.

[Meatball]

So it's that. It's that same vibe.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'll eat in bed if I know I'm gonna change the sheets tomorrow.

[Meatball]

Yes, it's also. Yeah, sheet day is the next day.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sheet day. Not laundry day, just sheet day.

[Meatball]

See, I know about bed sheets and blankets on the sofa all the same day.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, nice. That's smart. That's smart.

[Meatball]

I just. Now we're all coming around to naked bed day.

[Big Dipper]

I just don't. The laying down to me, that is hard for digestion. Think about, like, what have you ordered? Ramen.

[Meatball]

Well, that's not a bad day. Friendly.

[Big Dipper]

Well, even ribs. Well, even ribs is crazy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Roll over and eat it on your tummy.

[Big Dipper]

On your tummy?

[Meatball]

Yeah, yeah, you're on your.

[Sasheer Zamata]

If I'm doing bed day, I'm eating on my tummy.

[Big Dipper]

The weight of your body push down on your stomach while you're trying to eat.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'd probably do a Side.

[Meatball]

Lay a side.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And, you know, rib in hand, other hand, cradling my head.

[Big Dipper]

And then you.

[Meatball]

That's exactly how.

[Big Dipper]

Then you can toot easier.

[Meatball]

But then sometimes you go belly. And then sometimes you're feeling a little frisky, you do a full roll like a dog.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm doing belly with a pillow under my chest. And then, like, a little arched to.

[Meatball]

Keep knees bent, feet up, kick it back and forth.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Having a nice time. That does sound nice. I've eaten a lot of cookies in bed.

[Meatball]

Oh, I don't like crummy foods.

[Sasheer Zamata]

All right. But you're gonna eat ribs.

[Big Dipper]

Ribs.

[Meatball]

Okay, so why is everyone turning on me? I was giving you guys a wonderful idea. We could all do it together. We could FaceTime.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay, that's cute. Okay. I would do that.

[Meatball]

We could FaceTime and be like, we're both in bed eating ribs.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You said both. So all. I guess Werner met invited.

[Meatball]

I don't know how to do a group FaceTime.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Four people could be on a FaceTime. First of all, I don't know how.

[Meatball]

To do a group FaceTime.

[Big Dipper]

It's very simple.

[Meatball]

Well, okay, so maybe you have to do it. Maybe you organize. It was simple.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wait, Dipper, you are the organizer.

[Big Dipper]

But I really fallen. I know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I want to go whale watching, and I want to get on a boat.

[Big Dipper]

It's whale watching season now.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, it is.

[Big Dipper]

They're migrating.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Let's do it.

[Meatball]

It's supposed to be when it's cold. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay. I'll do it.

[Big Dipper]

I will. I promise.

[Meatball]

I will. Where do we have to meet up?

[Big Dipper]

You have to. We have to drive. Not to San Diego, but on the way. Yeah, it's somewhere in, like, Laguna. You drive, you park in a little beach town, and then they put you on this boat and you ride the. A lot of the seats on the boat are like saddles, and they have a little bounce to them. So you ride the waves.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's fun.

[Big Dipper]

It was really amazing. We went for my friend Ryan's birthday.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, so you could organize that.

[Big Dipper]

I will. No, he organized.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That was Ryan's birthday.

[Big Dipper]

That's how I learned about it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Well, I didn't know if you were organizing Ryan's birthday, but not our events anymore.

[Meatball]

No, no, because I believe the last.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Organizing Ryan's birthday and organize our events, please.

[Big Dipper]

No, no, no. I will organize the last one.

[Sasheer Zamata]

When we were talking about. When you were talking about the shooting range and, like, someone, like, maybe doing an accident, it made me think of one of the activities that we did together, which was axe throwing. And how I threw an ax so hard that it bounced back towards me.

[Meatball]

And I was like.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I didn't know. Why was that even a possibility?

[Meatball]

Right.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That was wild. It's wild.

[Meatball]

It was real. It came all the way back.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Like, it almost hit my toes.

[Meatball]

I watched a TikTok of someone, and they literally caught it, like it was coming at them. And he like, I don't like that. And I was like, okay, because it was fun. But then the idea of, like, getting my face sliced open, maybe no events where we have to sign something, being like, if we die, it's not your fault.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. At your own risk.

[Meatball]

I would do a high ropes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I would do a high rope.

[Meatball]

We were supposed to do a swimming.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Remember?

[Meatball]

We were supposed to go to a water park. A water park. And then everyone said no, because they were all like, I don't want to get. I don't love that band aid in my mouth. I don't want to get some sort of UTI or infection from the water.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Which is a bummer, because that's the joy of a water park.

[Big Dipper]

The band aids.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. And your hair. A child peeing in the pool, and you're like, that's not for me.

[Meatball]

A child puking near the pool.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Ugh, that's gross.

[Big Dipper]

I remember as a kid, one time I threw up in the lake.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Ew.

[Big Dipper]

And I was just like, how do you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What do you do from here?

[Big Dipper]

Clean it up.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Did fish not immediately go towards it.

[Meatball]

Or, like, in a pool?

[Big Dipper]

No, in a lake.

[Sasheer Zamata]

To eat it.

[Big Dipper]

Like, Michigan. Oh, so you're gonna be grossed out by the world, Nicole.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So she was like, did the fish immediately come and eat it with a big smile on her face? Cause that's what they would do.

[Meatball]

They would eat.

[Big Dipper]

Just let her live.

[Meatball]

They would probably eat it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

They would probably eat it. It's food. I just do better if it's cheese curds.

[Meatball]

Ew. Were you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Ew.

[Meatball]

Did the cheese curds make you throw up? Or was it, like, the motion of the lake and, like, being in the water?

[Big Dipper]

We had eaten some cheese curds, and then I was, like, wave jumping, and, like, water went down my throat, and I was trying to breathe.

[Meatball]

Just like, water is disgusting.

[Big Dipper]

Right. But I'm just saying, that's when I learned, Like, I was like, what do you do? I. How do I clean it up? You just let it just belong to the. And then I was like, oh, the world is full of disgusting things like children's urine in the pool.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Mm.

[Big Dipper]

I. One time, Nicole, I really took you there she's off.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I really. I just. I love the ocean so much, and to think that it's filled with children's cheese curd vomit is really upsetting.

[Big Dipper]

Oh, there's so much dookie.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Meatball]

I used to take poops in the. In the ocean.

[Big Dipper]

So does the cheese curd. The.

[Meatball]

We would go to. We went to Galveston when I lived in Texas. Galveston, which is the grossest Pull down your shorts. Well, I had to go real bad, and it was a Christian group trip, and there was no way to go to the bathroom. So I just kind of just pulled my shorts on and was like. And pooped in the water and then went back to play. Nicole, you ever do anything gross?

[Big Dipper]

Say a gross thing.

[Meatball]

Say a gross thing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Say a gross thing. I've never pooped in the ocean.

[Big Dipper]

Too classic.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I've never vomited in the ocean.

[Big Dipper]

You wish.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I did poop my pants in a hotel room once while I was sleeping.

[Meatball]

Oh.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And I discovered it when I went to the bathroom. I just had a pee and then poop fell out. I said, what's happening to me? And I was really drunk and I was so confused.

[Big Dipper]

Oh, you were drunk.

[Meatball]

That's worse than what we were saying. What?

[Big Dipper]

How dare you?

[Meatball]

That's worse than anything bad.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I feel bad. I don't feel bad.

[Big Dipper]

I went to pee and poop fell out. What percent of podcasts do you think just talk about pooping?

[Meatball]

Well, when it's us, it's all the time.

[Big Dipper]

It's gotta be a high number.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I would say probably like 20% of all podcasts get to poop. 30.

[Meatball]

That's right.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Meatball]

I wouldn't argue that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Right. I don't think it's all of them.

[Big Dipper]

No, not the news ones.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But what if the news is about.

[Meatball]

This America is poop related.

[Sasheer Zamata]

News can be poop related. I saw a headline so news that so new. So, you know, that's news.

[Meatball]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

First and foremost, that make the ice at. I think it was either McDonald's or one of the fast food chains has poop particles in it.

[Big Dipper]

Full of dookie.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't even know how it got there. It's because they don't clean the ice machine.

[Meatball]

They don't clean the ice machine.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Someone poop in the ice machine. Like, why?

[Meatball]

It was probably his dirty hands.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And then if you go and like, just wipe it, you're leaving dookie.

[Meatball]

There used to be a guy, Yeah, I was gonna say in Houston, Texas, that had a whole show called Slime in the Ice Machine. His name is Marvin Zindler. And he looked absolutely insane. Marvin. Marvin Zindler. Slime in the ice machine. And he had a whole segment on it and it was on the news. Self news. And he would go to different fast food restaurants and restaurants and test their machines for having like poop particles or like dirty ice machines. Because in Texas, everyone, every drink is like all ice and a little bit of liquid. And of the ice he'd be like, there was maggots found in the ice machine. And it was like really gross. And that's why I think you don't like ice. Cuz there's poop.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Maybe because you don't you taste the poop or the slime. Why would I know what that tastes like?

[Meatball]

Or the slime?

[Big Dipper]

Yeah, why would you?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I'm sorry, I wouldn't insinuate that you eat both bitches. That's what you do on bed day and just eat poop. Okay, you guys actually can't FaceTime me while I'm doing that. I need a private.

[Meatball]

That's why. Disgusting.

[Big Dipper]

Slime.

[Meatball]

Well, slime in the ice. He had the best son. Like he would always have blue tinted glasses. Old man, just. And he was the biggest white.

[Big Dipper]

Was he a journalist or he just couldn't.

[Meatball]

He was a journalist.

[Big Dipper]

To give him a segment.

[Meatball]

He was a journalist. He was like a news guy.

[Big Dipper]

He found his niche. It was about climbing the ice machine.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I like.

[Meatball]

And then I think he also was just like a huge like entrepreneur in Houston and would like throw events for like hungry children and stuff. He was like, really?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Throw events for hungry.

[Meatball]

Yeah, he'd be like, hey, kids.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Not to raise money. Just a party.

[Meatball]

Just a party with a bunch of little kids. Get in the bed.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Everyone half naked.

[Meatball]

Get in the bed. We're eating in the bed.

[Big Dipper]

All right. Not with the half naked about the kids.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh my goodness.

[Meatball]

It was adults too. Oh, is it target throwing a break?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hey everyone.

[Meatball]

We'll be right back after this break. Sorry about the poop stuff.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Support for this podcast is brought to you by Chamberlain University. Let's talk about that thing you keep saying you'll do. The new career, the next step, the dream you keep putting off. Because life is busy and change feels hard. But what if it didn't have to be? Chamberlain University has been preparing healthcare professionals for over 130 years. As the nation's largest nursing school, Chamberlain offers flexible programs built around your life. Faculty who genuinely care, and a community ready to lift you up. Maybe today is the day. Maybe your Sunday starts now. Because here's what Chamberlain wants you to know you've got this, and we've got you. Learn more at chamberlain.edu. chamberlain University. Belong to something greater. Certified to operate by Chevy.

[Meatball]

Mr.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Monopoly here. Monopoly is back at McDonald's. Register in the McDonald's app so you're ready to get your bag. Two ways to peel for a chance to get your bag. Physical peels with select items and digital peels with others.

[Meatball]

To get your bag, play Monopoly at McDonald's.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Ba da ba ba ba.

[Meatball]

No purchase necessary. See [e-mail] for full details and amoe.playadmcd.com to play without purchase ends November 23rd, but bonus play ends November 2nd. Monopoly is a registered trademark of Hasbro. Copyright McDonald's.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And we're back. I have a question.

[Big Dipper]

Oof.

[Meatball]

Oh, no.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Do you two remember how you met?

[Big Dipper]

Yeah.

[Meatball]

Okay, do you want the real story or the fake story?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Because I've heard Dipper's story. I don't think I've heard Meatball story.

[Big Dipper]

What's the fake story?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Well, yeah, start with the fake story. Yeah, what's the fake one that we.

[Meatball]

Met backstage at Precinct.

[Big Dipper]

Oh, yeah. Which is where I first met Meatball as a drag queen.

[Meatball]

But the real story is I had a friend who was a big fan of Big Dipper's music. And one time, Big Dipper was playing at FUBAR, which is that bar that doesn't exist in WeHo anymore that used.

[Sasheer Zamata]

To do the dick contest.

[Meatball]

Big guy wore the diaper. We're not gonna get into it.

[Big Dipper]

Always the diaper.

[Meatball]

It's always about the diapers. And he was performing, and so my friend was like, let's go. And then I watched a bunch of music videos of his, like, the night before. We were, like, on our way there, and I was like, oh, he's cool. Let me be nice. Cause he's over there sweating it up at a merch table, selling his own merch. Like, let me throw him a couple dollars. And I bought a tank top from him. And that was the first time I was like, I like your music or whatever.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Or whatever.

[Big Dipper]

And then the next day, he went to the beach and took a photo.

[Meatball]

And wore the tank top, and then.

[Big Dipper]

Tagged me in the photo as he.

[Meatball]

Wore the tank top.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's nice.

[Big Dipper]

It was very nice.

[Meatball]

That was the first time we met.

[Big Dipper]

And we only found out about that later because I thought the first time we met was backstage at Precinct when Meatball was in drag.

[Meatball]

But it was when I was actually out doing charity work for the gay community.

[Big Dipper]

And the charity work Would be buying.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Buying a shirt.

[Meatball]

That's why I just thought, I can't find it anymore.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah, it probably doesn't fit well.

[Meatball]

Hey, hey, hey. Yeah, true.

[Big Dipper]

But, you know, I. Because I have that, you know, annoying sort of like workaholism factor in my brain. Like when we met, we had a nice chill conversation and I immediately, the next day dmed him and was like, hey, we should do a podcast together. I think you're great to talk to. We could probably perform some.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wait, immediately? Did you guys even vibe? Like, how did you talk backstage? Okay.

[Meatball]

I've like seen him since then, like at other events.

[Big Dipper]

And I had just really moved to la. I had been coming here a little bit after I left New York, but I was like, okay, I'm planted. I moved here. What parties do you do? I'm going to come to precinct more often. And then the next day I was like, one of my goals is to make a podcast. I think you'd be a great co host. You want to do that? So our friendship only developed after working together.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wow.

[Big Dipper]

We basically worked together two or three years before. I would say we socialize outside the podcast. Wouldn't you say?

[Meatball]

Yeah, we never really hung out.

[Big Dipper]

We just would go and record podcast.

[Meatball]

And then in the early days, I would edit it and do all that.

[Big Dipper]

Oh my God.

[Meatball]

Remember that? I was editing.

[Big Dipper]

I was just remembering him, like participating in the workload. That was crazy. No, no, no, no. But you would.

[Meatball]

I did all the editing because he didn't know how to do it. And I was in there taking out all the ums and ands. And then eventually I was like, we have to find someone else to do this. Wait, I need more bedding. What was Josh doing? Oh, no. Once we got Josh, she would start doing so for the first two episodes.

[Big Dipper]

The first two episodes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's so funny.

[Meatball]

And in a couple ep.

[Big Dipper]

And they were our. And they were our demo episodes to try to sell it to a network. So who else was gonna fucking edit? We recorded them on my.

[Meatball]

Have you edited an episode?

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, I should have not. I haven't. Those are honest hour long episodes. Wouldn't even know where to begin. What is it? Garage. Rock Band Garage.

[Big Dipper]

Yes.

[Meatball]

That's exactly what this studio uses. Yeah, they use the free software that comes on the map.

[Big Dipper]

Rock Band.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wait, what?

[Big Dipper]

Rock Band.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's Rock Band.

[Big Dipper]

It's actually garage hip hop.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Is Garage hip hop?

[Big Dipper]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, I think you're lying to me.

[Meatball]

Why would you do that?

[Big Dipper]

It's garage R and B solo singer.

[Meatball]

But yeah, we Recorded, like, tons of episodes together. And then finally one day he was like, do you want to do an activity? And I was like, oh, no.

[Sasheer Zamata]

With a reactivity.

[Big Dipper]

I don't remember.

[Meatball]

I think we went to go see a show.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah. But I remember hanging out with you off mic was awkward in the beginning. Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Ooh. Cause we, like, what would you talk about if you all weren't hanging?

[Big Dipper]

We were. So our first show. Good question.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Thank you so much.

[Big Dipper]

Come on, journalism. There's slime in the friendship. When we first started hanging out, well, so the first bits of the podcast, we had this loose framework of it being a bear podcast. And we basically were trying to interview people and talk about our own experience as, like, being gay bears, but not feeling really identified with, like, grr, woof. Culture, which is, like, such a niche thing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hair bears.

[Big Dipper]

Yes. We were like, oh, we're like a way more faggy. Like, we're more artsy. We're more, like, interested in a queer identity. We just look like bears.

[Meatball]

We had you on that podcast, remember?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Meatball]

We recorded in a big empty warehouse with padded walls.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes. A lovely wig man. Who had made you a wig, who had rosy cheeks. Who was also there.

[Meatball]

Oh, Tony Medina, who does Michelle's hair on Drag Race.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Big Dipper]

Drag Race. I can't even speak Drag Race.

[Meatball]

Yeah. Tony loved Tony.

[Big Dipper]

Yes. So that's what we would talk about, sort of. We talked about ideas.

[Meatball]

We talked about ideas, not about people.

[Big Dipper]

And, like, life experiences and that sort of thing. And we were basically, like, always pushing towards this, like, mission statement. So it was a lot less like.

[Meatball]

What did we do when I guess I stopped doing the workload because I was like, I thought we were just there doing hahaha. You had a plan, statement, a thesis as well. Journalism.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah. That's what we did.

[Meatball]

Is it? I thought we were doing hahas, but yeah, that's how it started.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. It could be both.

[Meatball]

Could be both.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sometimes missions have hahas.

[Big Dipper]

Exactly. And I actually think that's what most people connect to.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I agree.

[Big Dipper]

I know you don't like that shit, but I think people do connect to it if it has a heart.

[Meatball]

Okay.

[Big Dipper]

Enlarged or not.

[Meatball]

You come for me because I'm chubby.

[Big Dipper]

No, I'm saying our collective hearts are enlarged.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Probably you come for because I'm chubby.

[Meatball]

How many bad days have I had this month?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm just thinking about eating the microphone. What is.

[Meatball]

I'm starving. I haven't slept. I haven't slept in four days.

[Big Dipper]

No one asked you that question.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Further back. Shoving it into Your mouth not doing well the way that you.

[Meatball]

I'm literally not doing well. Next question, please. Let's go to break.

[Big Dipper]

The way that you responded, as if someone asked you that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What are you gonna eat later?

[Meatball]

Chicken tenders.

[Big Dipper]

From.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, from pre.

[Big Dipper]

Chicken tending Tuesday. Disco party.

[Meatball]

Disco party.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Have you had Helen Ray's?

[Meatball]

Yes. Not a big fan of the chicken sandwiches there.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. What's wrong with that?

[Big Dipper]

I don't know.

[Meatball]

The. The bread is, like, always too wet.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh. You have to get everything on the side.

[Meatball]

We'll see. I've never. I shouldn't have to ask for that. They should send it to me on unorganized and then I get to put it together.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I like my sandwich unassembled.

[Meatball]

Unassembled? Unassembled.

[Big Dipper]

Separate.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, I like unorganized. I also get the St. Louis style.

[Meatball]

What's that one?

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's on like a. I don't know, a Texas toast, and it's really crisped up.

[Meatball]

That does sound good.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's really nice.

[Big Dipper]

Wait, when you guys started the podcast, you had been friends. Did you have a conversation in the early days about what to not talk about publicly?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, probably. Or maybe we found it as we were going. Yeah, I think we found it as we were going. Yeah, we never had, like, a conversation. Yeah. But we would either, like, self, like, edit in the moment. Be like, actually, let's cut that out.

[Big Dipper]

Or.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Or after the fact, be like, hey, I thought about. Thought about it. Don't love that. Yeah.

[Big Dipper]

You call Meatball to do your edits.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Meatball]

I got. Let me get in there. Slice and click. Wait.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Meatball]

When that stuff comes up, how do you handle it? You're just quick to be like, no, stop. Or shut it down. Okay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Be like, oh, I didn't like that. Can we take that out? Yeah. And sometimes it happens in the moment. Yeah. In the beginning. I would also listen to every episode and make sure we didn't say anything that we don't.

[Big Dipper]

Because sometimes you just get in a flow state.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, you definitely do get in a flow state.

[Meatball]

Drag her. Drag her.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's not a bad thing. It's just like, you're in the moment. And then I'll be like, did you want to say that about that person? And I'll be like, no. But sometimes you do have to call people out, like Air Bungee Fitness and Burbank.

[Big Dipper]

Wow.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I hate them.

[Meatball]

What'd they do to you?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Ooh, I love it. This is, I think, the third podcast.

[Meatball]

Bring it up, baby. Fuck you, Air Bungee.

[Big Dipper]

But just the Burbank Location.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We haven't talked about it. I guess we haven't. Which is strange. Which is strange because it happened with us. We were on hiatus. Oh, that's right. This is what happened while we were on hiatus. Yeah. We had a whole episode where we couldn't figure out what we had done for six months. We did go to air Bungee Fitness. This is big California. This is something we did for one day within the six months. Yes.

[Meatball]

We did it every day.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We go. And I had clarifying questions because I was bigger than some of the other people in that class. And I was, like, asking these questions. And she was kind of short with me. And at one point, I was like, so are you supposed to feel the tension on the bungee thing when you run backwards? And she was like, you just have to do it. You just have to do it. I was like, okay. Then we were doing these, like, burpee things. And I was like, I'm having trouble, like, getting up. And she goes, okay, well, we're all gonna do four, and you can do less. And I was like. Which is like, not. Not even answering the question. Like, that's not even. Doesn't make sense. You just do half of what we do. That's not even what you're trying to ask.

[Meatball]

I would expect her to be like, here, let's, like, go through the motion.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Isn't she wasn't a good instructor. She was very, very bad.

[Big Dipper]

What's her name?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I got it. I wish I could remember. I wish if I could remember, I would tell. And then at one point, she goes. And that's why it's very important to not lie about your weight. And then landed on me. And you have to, like, write your weight when you check in. So they, like, I guess, know what kind of bungees to put on. Yeah.

[Meatball]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But I was like. Like, my mouth was. Again, like. It was like, oh. And I looked at it. So she. And I went, did that happen? And she was like, yes. Because, you know, sometimes you're like, I made something up in my head.

[Big Dipper]

I was like, or you think that could only be on a TV show?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes. And I didn't lie about my weight. I gave them 10 extra pounds because I said, I'm not dying in Burbank.

[Big Dipper]

Absolutely right.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No. And then I was just like. I felt crazy. And then afterwards, I guess the owner. Have you ever seen Crybaby?

[Big Dipper]

Yes.

[Meatball]

Of the movie Crybaby.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hatchet face. She looked just like Hatchet Face.

[Big Dipper]

Knew it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

She did her makeup in the dark. She said, I Won't buy shades that compliment anything I was born with. You won't cosign that. That's okay. You're a nice girl. No, I agree. Okay, perfect. It was satisfied.

[Big Dipper]

Then, you know, the lady was ugly.

[Meatball]

Busted, honey.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And then she goes, did you guys have a good time? I said, no, I simply did not. I will not be back. And she said, what happened? I said, well, I tried to ask the instructor for adjustments, and she really wouldn't give them to me. And she said, that didn't happen.

[Meatball]

What?

[Sasheer Zamata]

And I said, well, now you're just negating my experience. And she's like, no, I'm not. And I was like, and now you're being defensive. And she was like, no, I'm not. I'm defending myself. And I was like, well, if you. The root word, you are being defensive. And then Sasheer said something, I guess more eloquently, and she went, I understand. And then looked at me and went, I hope that wasn't defensive. And I said, what's wrong with you?

[Big Dipper]

Oh, they're fat phobos. That's just all it is.

[Meatball]

That's crazy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It was. Was nuts. I felt insane. Yeah. Then I ate a muffin and we talked about we had to have a muffin decompress moment.

[Meatball]

Of course.

[Big Dipper]

What kind of muffin?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think I got a chocolate chip muffin. Those are my favorite. Have you had one from Porto's?

[Meatball]

No, but I love everything from Porto's. Those little potato balls with the cheese in the middle.

[Big Dipper]

The salads at Porto's are incredible. I know. That is.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Get out of here.

[Big Dipper]

Basically, I'm saying, everybody, everything is so good that even the salads are.

[Sasheer Zamata]

There.

[Meatball]

I'm not doing the salad. I'm roll. I'm going to get those.

[Big Dipper]

Let me unlock this for you.

[Meatball]

I don't really eat sweets, but Porto's. I'll have a couple little pastries.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Their chocolate, I think it's like the Parisian chocolate cake is so good and moist.

[Big Dipper]

That thing is a factory over there. They really.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And it's cheap as hell.

[Big Dipper]

Yes. Okay. I never ordered. Just let me get through the story.

[Meatball]

I don't like you eating.

[Big Dipper]

I never ordered delivery food until the pandemic. I didn't have a.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What?

[Big Dipper]

I said, let me get through this food. In Los Angeles, I didn't have, like, an app for delivery food until the pandemic. I did it. I sure would order pizza, but I would, like, call the place or whatever. So Porto's is where I popped my cherry using Uber Eats and other things. Like that. And I was so gobsmacked at, like, oh, they take a service fee and there's a delivery charge, and I wanna tip this person, and it's the pandemic, so I wanna tip them a lot of money, all this stuff. And I was like, if I'm ordering delivery, baby, I'm getting the menu. I'm getting breakfast, lunch, dinner, and lunch again tomorrow. And that is how I discovered the salad, because I was like, I can't just get 12 sandwiches and three entrees and a whole kitchen sink.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I can't throw a salad in there.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah. So I was like, this thing is incredible.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Anyways, Meatball shut down. What happened?

[Meatball]

That was good. Letting him finish. Good story.

[Big Dipper]

So highly recommend this salad.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Have you had their turkey sandwich with candied bacon? That sounds really good.

[Big Dipper]

The candy bacon's on the salad.

[Meatball]

Ooh.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So it's not a real salad.

[Meatball]

What are we doing?

[Sasheer Zamata]

What are we doing?

[Meatball]

There's greens on it a little bit.

[Big Dipper]

There's lettuce and cheese.

[Sasheer Zamata]

There's lettuce and cheese.

[Meatball]

They had a ham sandwich that had brie and, like, onions and ham and, like, really grainy mustard. It was so good. And they don't make it anymore.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, dang.

[Meatball]

That's. Every time I drive by, I'm like, maybe one day.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Maybe one day.

[Big Dipper]

I just wanted.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I didn't ask for it. Maybe it was, like, off menu. Yeah, maybe it's off menu.

[Big Dipper]

A lot of times they still have the ingredients at places.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. And they can make it for you.

[Meatball]

I'll do that.

[Big Dipper]

In high school, my favorite Jamba Juice smoothie was off menu.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What was it?

[Big Dipper]

Can't remember. Orchard's Oasis. Ooh. It was like a blueberry, sort of acai type tease. And my friend who used to work at Jamba Juice was like, this one's good. But they took it off the menu. But all the ingredients are still there.

[Meatball]

I always got the peanut butter one.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's okay. So there's a Planet Smoothie in Hard to drink. What was it in Penn Station that had a peanut butter banana smoothie?

[Big Dipper]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Maybe it was just. Maybe there was no bananas. Maybe it was just chocolate. I don't. It was, like, chocolate and peanut butter. But it was so good.

[Meatball]

So good.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And it was specifically from the Penn Station Planet Smoothie. I wonder if it still exists.

[Meatball]

Probably not.

[Big Dipper]

There's a lot that goes on in that.

[Meatball]

Yeah. Every time I go back to New York, everything is different. It's crazy. And it'll be, like six months apart, and I'll be like, oh, everything's changed in the uk.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think Penn Station is now a different name. I don't think that's true. Are you sure?

[Meatball]

Freedom Station.

[Big Dipper]

Are you talking about the Amtraks you're talking about?

[Meatball]

Oh, I think I know what you're talking about. It's like the Monahan. Monahan.

[Big Dipper]

That's for Amtrak, though. You go underneath. But Penn Station still does.

[Meatball]

They're also connected.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah. You can walk underground in New York City for miles.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. Some people live under there.

[Big Dipper]

The rats and the mole people. Have you ever seen the documentary about the mole people?

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, I've never.

[Meatball]

There's a documentary about the mole people?

[Big Dipper]

Yeah.

[Meatball]

And don't they just live in, like, the old subway stations that are unused?

[Big Dipper]

Yeah. And they haven't seen the light of day.

[Meatball]

Wow.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Have children been born down there? Probably.

[Meatball]

And their eyes are probably so adjusted to the dark, they're like rats.

[Big Dipper]

That's why they're called mole people. Google it.

[Meatball]

That's journalism. Google mole people.

[Big Dipper]

The news. The news.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, my God. Imagine. Okay, have you guys seen the movie Blast from the Past?

[Big Dipper]

Yes. No.

[Sasheer Zamata]

A mole person coming up would be like, blast from the past.

[Meatball]

Is that with Brendan Fraser?

[Big Dipper]

Brendan Fraser.

[Meatball]

And he can't. No, not caveman in. He was kept underground in a bunker with his.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Because his daddy, Christopher Walken, and his mommy, sissy space act, thought that the Cold War was going to have a meteor or something or a big bomb that was going to take out their. Their house. So he built a bunker underneath the house, and then an airplane crashed into their house, and they thought it was, like, a bomb or whatever from the war. So they went downstairs into the. The bunker underground, and then they stayed there because the locks were for, I think, 30 years. And then after 30 years, they went.

[Meatball]

Up and he comes out, and America exists like normal.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, wow.

[Big Dipper]

Like normal.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And he sees male lady and he goes, oh, my lucky stars, a Negro. And I still think it's really funny. Wow. Nobody laughed. Okay. We should take a break.

[Meatball]

Should we? Hey, we'll be right back after this break. I want to be in charge of that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I want to be in charge.

[Meatball]

Give me a job.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You got it. We're back.

[Meatball]

Yay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We had a bunch of things to ask you.

[Meatball]

Go for it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Should we play Besting each Other?

[Meatball]

Yeah.

[Big Dipper]

Oh, she plays that every day.

[Meatball]

What's this game?

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's called Besting each other, where we ask best friends in the group about the other best friend. First up. Keep going. First up.

[Big Dipper]

Well, no, say your joke. We'd have to get a best friend.

[Meatball]

We'd have to get a best friend in here for me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, my goodness.

[Meatball]

Y' all really don't like it when I'm mean to Big Jim Crow.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We love friendships.

[Meatball]

Every time y' all have both been on the podcast separately or something, I'll say something and you're like, do you guys really talk to each other? Like, you'll leave the room and be like, wait, you don't actually speak to each other? Like, I was like, yeah, we do.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Meatball]

I'm mean to that bitch.

[Big Dipper]

Here's.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Here's the thing. I love friendship. I watched Shawshank Redemption last night and cried at the end. I've seen it.

[Big Dipper]

It's a good film.

[Sasheer Zamata]

So many times I texted Nicole after watching the John Wick documentary, and I was like, it's all about friendship. Didn't know that was all about guns. No, it's about friendship, but it's also about the root of the movie. It's friendship.

[Big Dipper]

The documentary is about the films, or are you calling John Wick a documentary? Sorry, I just don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You know the four part documentary following question that was about the documentary about the production of John Wick. Yes. Where Eva Longoria stepped in and saved the movie. She financed the first John Wick movie she did.

[Meatball]

Just.

[Big Dipper]

Cause.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't. Yeah, I guess.

[Big Dipper]

Well, she probably wanted to make money.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And then this came up.

[Big Dipper]

Keanu was like, invest in me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

He didn't know that.

[Big Dipper]

Keanu, thank you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Put it on an audition tape. Get on snl.

[Big Dipper]

I've only auditioned, I think, maybe three times in my life. You go on auditions a lot?

[Meatball]

Yeah, I do a lot of auditions. I bomb them hard. If I'm gonna bomb. Baby, we're going down burning. I'm trying to get them laughing. Nothing.

[Big Dipper]

Well, they don't laugh in the room. And leave your guns at home.

[Meatball]

Leave your guns on.

[Big Dipper]

No. The last time I auditioned for something, like, legit, I was auditioning for, like, a little bit part on Shrill when that was happening, and it was like, to be a cabaret performer, and they wanted someone to, like, sing a song sort of poignantly. But then our friend Lauren was like, no, do what you do well. That's why they asked you to do it. I had a friend who was.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Lauren was leading you astray.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah, I had a friend in the writer's room, and they were like, do what you do well, or she. They wouldn't have asked you to audition if they didn't want you to be what you are. So I Then rapped the song and stripped while I did it, which is what I do at my live shows.

[Meatball]

How naked did you get in that strip?

[Big Dipper]

I was wearing a Speedo and a T shirt and overalls. So I was able to unclip the overalls and they could drop. And then I pulled the shirt off and then I was in a Speedo, which I was like, is inappropriate in an audition room.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What was the song about?

[Big Dipper]

It was a Beach Boys cover. So it was about love and friendship and the sunset on the beach. I love that.

[Meatball]

But you were wrapping it.

[Big Dipper]

Yes.

[Meatball]

And taking off your overalls. Your adult overalls.

[Big Dipper]

The thing that I didn't. They were shorts and the thing that I didn't. So they were baby shaped but adult size. The thing that I didn't take into account is they had me lavved up. Cause they were filming it. So when I took the overalls off the lav wire sort of went everywhere. And then I kicked them off and the mic pack flew, like neck almost hitting the guy who was running the audition. It was a disaster.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I love it. And you booked it.

[Big Dipper]

Nope.

[Meatball]

I love that story.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay, let's.

[Meatball]

Were you embarrassed at all?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Do you get embarrassed?

[Big Dipper]

Mortified, Anxious. Embarrassed. Mortified. All those things happen to me all the time.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I get embarrassed.

[Big Dipper]

I feel like. You don't get embarrassed.

[Meatball]

Well, you don't do anything embarrassing.

[Big Dipper]

No. You're so, like, self assured.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Thank you so much. Hmm. Do I get embarrassed?

[Meatball]

The fact that you even think about it. Think about it. Shut up.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. You don't get embarrassed. Yeah, I don't think you do anything embarrassing. Yeah, I do get anxious for sure. Like, oh, did I say something that I shouldn't have said? Or, I don't know, was that stupid? But not like, I don't know. Yeah, I guess I'm not doing things I consider embarrassing.

[Meatball]

I do shit. Like I embarrass myself every day. One time I got booked to do a birthday party. No, it was a college gig and they gave me the address. And so I park down the street and I'm walking over there and I see a house with balloons. So I go, this must be it. And I walk in and it's a children's birthday party. And I was like, these college kids are young. And so I turn to the mom and I just go, okay, where do I set up? And she was like, like, you're not supposed to be here. And I walked out. And I walked out like two more doors and it was like all these kids throwing a rager and Drinking in a backyard. And I was like, oh, this is where I'm supposed to be.

[Big Dipper]

How in drag were you?

[Meatball]

Like, I was.

[Big Dipper]

At least you were in complete drag. If you were in half drag, that would be way.

[Meatball]

No, it's even worse sometimes because I'll show up in just like. Like, boy clothes, but my body on and full makeup, but no wig. The body on and boy glued my wig on in the car because I was like, I don't know what the situation is going to be. So I was in full drag.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's funny. That's funny. I went to a party on Saturday, and I was wearing leopard print overalls, and I was walking down Sunset, and there was a group of girls in leopard print, but I didn't clock that. And this girl looked at me and she's like, here for the party? And I was like, oh, yeah, Jess's party. And she went, no, we're all wearing leopard print. I was like, well, I guess I'm the idiot. And I was so embarrassed for, like, for an hour or two, I was like, why did I think I don't know her? Why did I think she knew Jess anyway? You could have got got. It's that easy.

[Meatball]

Wow.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You've been waiting to say that. What do you mean? Because I said that you would get got real easily when you followed that man that one time. But that's not why I said that. I just said that because she said, here for the party. You're like, yeah, and you're gonna go in there. See, I thought you were hiding it in your heart and you were waiting for a moment. I didn't even remember what you just. That moment you just said, remember? That man said, looking good. Want some breakfast?

[Big Dipper]

Now I would.

[Meatball]

Well, now, wait a minute. I would follow anybody behind me.

[Big Dipper]

Camera bacon involved.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Looking good. Want some breakfast?

[Big Dipper]

Was the breakfast at Porto's?

[Meatball]

What was the Porto's?

[Big Dipper]

Where was the potato ball?

[Sasheer Zamata]

We were going to a meeting, and there was, like, breakfast for the staff.

[Big Dipper]

Well, that's why you're both gonna get.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Gosh.

[Meatball]

Okay, Breakfast. Okay, first question that would work on me down.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Let's skip that one.

[Big Dipper]

Insert any meal, it would work on me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What's your favorite memory of traveling together? So you write it on your board, and then we're gonna reveal and see how close you are to each other.

[Big Dipper]

Ooh.

[Meatball]

I write really slow.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Dipper.

[Big Dipper]

Yes.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Let's see what you wrote.

[Big Dipper]

I wrote a costing silky nutmeg ganache in the Delta Lounge in Atlanta together.

[Meatball]

I forgot I did that.

[Big Dipper]

In which we pulled out our recorder and made her do a impromptu interview on our podcast.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's really funny.

[Big Dipper]

Now.

[Meatball]

I would never do that. Really. I would do it at that moment. I was like, is that silky nutmeg ganache in the fucking Delta Lounge? Let's get her, girl. And I, like, ran up to her.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah. We sat down with our plate of cheeses and interviewed her.

[Meatball]

And she, like, didn't know who we were, but she like, that's not true. I don't think she knew who we were. That's really funny. Well, I put strippers in Atlanta.

[Big Dipper]

Oh, yeah.

[Meatball]

I saw some of the oldest titties I've ever seen in my life in Atlanta. 70 year old stripper, just legs spread, grabbing her nippies like this and shaking them.

[Big Dipper]

Torpedo titties.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, that's fun.

[Meatball]

But yeah, both Atlanta, same trip.

[Big Dipper]

It was the.

[Meatball]

Was that the most fun trip we've had? I think we had fun in New York.

[Big Dipper]

I think Tokyo was great.

[Meatball]

Oh, Tokyo was actually amazing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Was it all business stuff or fun?

[Big Dipper]

All business. We're not going to the Bahamas and having a good time.

[Meatball]

Also, it's because he's always busy. And if I were to be like, let's go to Palm Springs for the weekend, he'd be like, I can't. Or. Or like when we were in Tokyo, when we had a full week and I had to spend every morning alone because he was like, I have to work.

[Big Dipper]

No, no.

[Meatball]

And he was clickety clackity, clickety clackity on his mouth all goddamn day. And I was out here going, well, I guess I'm gonna try the local fair. You were, let me get on the train and ride around Tokyo alone.

[Big Dipper]

Oh, so you're mad. You had a solo beautiful experience in Japan.

[Meatball]

See how he turns it on?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Me too.

[Meatball]

To make it seem like it's my problem.

[Big Dipper]

I would wake up.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Did you see Lost in Translation?

[Big Dipper]

Yeah. Incredible.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Never seen Scott Johansson. Right here. Scarjo. You were Scarjo. Lonely, sad, waiting for your husband, Tim Burton. Wait, who's the other man in that movie? It was Bill Murray.

[Big Dipper]

Bill? Yeah.

[Meatball]

You're gonna bury Bill Murray?

[Big Dipper]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

This is Tim Burton, a director.

[Big Dipper]

You would text me. I would text you at like 10:30 in the morning and be like, good morning, what should we do about breakfast? And you'd be like, I've been up. I had three meals, I took 10 walks. Like you. I sound like 10 walks.

[Meatball]

The crazy thing is, though, we would.

[Big Dipper]

Be up until 3 in the morning. You would sleep for no time.

[Meatball]

I would get up And I'd be like, I'm in Japan. Sleep is for losers.

[Big Dipper]

I'm older than you.

[Meatball]

And then also, everything in Japan doesn't really open until. So I was like, really?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wait, really?

[Big Dipper]

That's why she took 10 walks for me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Things don't open until 11.

[Meatball]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, I love that.

[Meatball]

And then the clubs are open until 5am wow.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And so why isn't it like that everywhere? Why do we close so early here and start so early here?

[Meatball]

I don't know.

[Big Dipper]

Veganism, huh?

[Meatball]

Journalism.

[Big Dipper]

The health vibe. I think. I think the people want to be healthy here in California.

[Meatball]

Last time I was in New York.

[Big Dipper]

You want to take Sunrise?

[Meatball]

And I was like, I used to remember. Remember when this was open until 2.

[Big Dipper]

Correct.

[Meatball]

You can walk around anywhere.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Not till 2. I'd be out till like 5. But the restaurants and things would be open.

[Meatball]

Like if I was in the club and I was like, time for a snack.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, you could go get a snack. Yeah.

[Meatball]

Something to do. Yeah.

[Big Dipper]

I blame the church.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think I blame Covid, I was gonna say, because they were like, we gotta close early so the virus doesn't come out at midnight. I don't know.

[Meatball]

Don't worry. We're gonna put restaurants on the streets. We wanna be closer to the rats.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And do you remember? They were like, it's alla fresco. And I was like, what a. What a pretty name for eating in the street.

[Meatball]

In the. In the sewage.

[Big Dipper]

Smell the garbage.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Not for me. Okay, what is your favorite thing about each other? I like the little smiles as you guys write. I can't tell if that's because it's a genuine something real mean. Again, Dipper's done first.

[Big Dipper]

Yes. She says she writes slow. Mine is that Meatball is funny.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, I like that. Aw, you erased something. What was this? Just from her before.

[Big Dipper]

What?

[Sasheer Zamata]

It was like a lot of erase marks. And I was like, what was it?

[Meatball]

First.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wow. Funny looking. Oh, I didn't see it.

[Big Dipper]

That's not. No, that's a joke, Meatball.

[Meatball]

Not this Tweedle DS coming for me. Where's the little spinner on the top of your hat?

[Big Dipper]

I asked you. Hat with a brim. Hat without a brim.

[Meatball]

You said hat without the brim.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah, because she's preying on my downfall.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hey, that's not a backwards hat. No, just no brim.

[Meatball]

No brim. I like it doesn't look great on him.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes, this is it.

[Big Dipper]

So genuine and nice.

[Meatball]

I told you to put it on because it looked better than the hat with the brim.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay, well, there it Is.

[Big Dipper]

Thank you. No, Meatball is funny all the time. No matter what. Always can make people laugh. Good. In every situation. And I do not. To make it serious. Nevermind, keep going.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Do it. Make it serious.

[Big Dipper]

I was just gonna say I get in my head a lot. I have a lot of like anxiety. Whether I think to call it that or not. My brain drifts a lot. Cause I'm managing so many projects in my head. And so sometimes we'll be like trying to like represent ourselves or like be ingratiating to like a venue where we wanna do a show or like pitch a party or do something. And like sometimes I get really weird or awkward and Meatball is always there to be funny.

[Meatball]

Oh yeah. I do do all the talking when we're at those things.

[Big Dipper]

It's very charming.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I love that.

[Meatball]

I wrote that. He does all the work and the planning. Annie answers my emails.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And that's important. That is important. That's so nice.

[Meatball]

We wouldn't. Without him, I don't think I'd be getting like half the opportunities that I've gotten because I'm too lazy or don't want to plan things.

[Big Dipper]

Or sometimes they'll email her. On a bed day.

[Meatball]

Yeah, It'll be a bad day. And I'll be like, I'm not doing this. Or they'll email him and be like, hey, how can we get in contact with me ball? And he's like, just tell me what you need. And so instead of like a long email that I have to read with details, he'll just be like, this is the date. This is what they want. Do you want to do it? And I'll be like, yeah. Okay. So it's easier that way.

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's a good balance. That is nice. So she reads all emails. I do.

[Meatball]

That's crazy business.

[Big Dipper]

I like it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I do too.

[Meatball]

See, I like the front facing thing. I like getting there and then doing it with the people.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Same.

[Meatball]

I hate all the planning that goes into it and that's it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I agree.

[Big Dipper]

But you also get mad when things don't go the way you want them.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Same.

[Big Dipper]

So the planning has to happen. So having.

[Meatball]

Well, half the time I tell you.

[Big Dipper]

Having a paramour who can do that for you is helpful.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Why would you use a word like that? I know Paramore is a band. What do you mean by that?

[Big Dipper]

Wake me up inside. I was trying to impress Sashir.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wake me up inside me. Okay.

[Meatball]

Amy Jo. That's her name.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, but Evanescence. Yeah, yeah. Paramore is Haley Williams and they sang an Evanescence Song.

[Meatball]

Haley Joel.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes. Haley Joel Osmond, if you could guess what is each other's favorite thing about you?

[Big Dipper]

Oh.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like Dipper, what do you think Meatball's favorite thing is about you? Meatball, what do you think Dipper's favorite thing is about you? It's a brain cruncher.

[Big Dipper]

Oh, yeah.

[Meatball]

It's good.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Thank you. Call my name and save me from the dark Wake me up. That's. It's my favorite karaoke song to do with you. It's so hard to do. Yeah. You know what's funny? Tell me. In learning how to sing, when you hit the notes, it's so satisfying. Very. Okay.

[Meatball]

You're taking voice lessons.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Meatball]

She gonna be a songstress. Are you going to Broadway?

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm trying. I'm genuinely trying to learn how to sing because I do want to be on Broadway.

[Meatball]

That's amazing. I see it for you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I see it too.

[Meatball]

And I think that you are a good singer. I think you just don't trust yourself.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't. And I have a hard time hearing the notes.

[Meatball]

You should ask them for an in ear. Then when you're on the.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah, A little wireless transmitter where they plunge plunk the. Your melody right here. You know how you sound awesome when you're singing along with someone who's singing the melody. But when you're left to your own devices, you're not singing the melody. They can help you out.

[Meatball]

They can tell you what to sing.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, also, my issue is staying on key. It's hard. Like the doo doo doo doo doo is hard anyway.

[Big Dipper]

Riffs, I call it.

[Meatball]

What did Willem say? She was. It was like something about, like me trying to find a note. I can't remember, but I cannot find it. It for the life of me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's tough sometimes. You're looking and it's never to be found. What's your answer?

[Meatball]

I said, he likes that. I'm always on time and willing to work. And I definitely answer phone calls. The first two, because I'll show up and I'll be in a mood. But the minute it's time to start working, girl, I'll do the work. I will do the work. And with a smile on my face and the idea of ribs in my.

[Big Dipper]

Mind, I wrote dependable question mark, money. But then I also wrote money, because sometimes you have expensive taste. You don't necessarily have a lot of people in your life who can join you on those things.

[Meatball]

That's true.

[Big Dipper]

But I will do those things with you.

[Meatball]

I love my rich friends.

[Big Dipper]

Which feels Crazy to say that.

[Meatball]

That's a crazy thing to say because.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wait, what are some of the expensive things that you're doing?

[Meatball]

I love to just do like little trips or something. Or like when we went to Tokyo, I was like, I want to stay an extra four or five days. Will you do that? And he was like, yeah, I can afford that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Meatball]

Or like some things that we. Shows that we want to go see.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah, it does feel crazy. We're talking about like, oh, like we can be like, Beyonce. Let's go spend money on Beyonce. Hey, we want to see a show in New York. Let's buy a ticket and stay in a hotel and do that. And. And I will only say we've for.

[Meatball]

A weekend and film some stuff and like, we'll budget it so that we are paying for all of it or something.

[Big Dipper]

The reason we can do it is because of the podcast.

[Meatball]

Of the podcast. Yeah.

[Big Dipper]

So that felt a little gauche to say it like that. But we're a part of each other's.

[Meatball]

Space and I'm trying to convince him to buy a house out in Palm Springs with me so we could be neighbors.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I like that.

[Big Dipper]

But why we don't vacation together socially too much is because we both do a lot of sex on our vacation.

[Meatball]

Oh, we be fucking. Oh.

[Big Dipper]

And so we don't want to do that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I don't want to see that.

[Meatball]

We one time did an event together.

[Big Dipper]

Oh, it was a naked event.

[Meatball]

It was a nude event. So everyone in the swimming pool was nude. I was in full drag and I was tiny thong. And we were interviewing a porn star naked. And so it was just like, very funny because then at the end of it, I was like, I got out of drag immediately and I was. Was like, if I see you in the dark rooms, it's over.

[Big Dipper]

And I just went and closed the door, went to sleep.

[Meatball]

He went to bed and I was.

[Big Dipper]

Like, out until 3am and we were having a planning meet. We were at a nude nude, a clothing optional gay hotel with grounds. You can sort of like walk around and everyone kind of leaves their door open, swanging. And we were having like a pre show check in where we were deciding what we were going to do. And we're sitting on the bed, Meatball's like laying out on the bed eating.

[Meatball]

A pile of ribs.

[Big Dipper]

And we're sitting there talking and this very hot guy sort of catches my eye through the door and strolls up and he's naked with his dick out and he's like, what's going on? And I was like, oh, we're having a meeting.

[Meatball]

Didn't I invite him in? Yes, I made.

[Big Dipper]

Because he, like, came towards. And then you were the reveal.

[Meatball]

Or like, he couldn't see me. He couldn't see me, and then he saw me. And I go, come on in. And she's like, hello, Hello, Hello. How are you? What's your name? What are you doing? How long are you staying for? And Dipper was like, what are you doing?

[Big Dipper]

I was like, let's finish our meeting. Maybe you can leave and I can, you know, hang out with you the way I did. But it was also like, I guess we're just. Just having a meeting in front of an A guy. It was pretty wild.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's good to have boundaries.

[Big Dipper]

Oh, about. Not about.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Not like you don't vacation together because you all want to. But also, I think. I think having friends with the same monetary means is an important conversation that nobody really talks about.

[Big Dipper]

Cuz it's true.

[Sasheer Zamata]

For whatever reason, in this culture, it's like, it's rude to talk about money, but it's like, no, it's not.

[Meatball]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Can you afford to go on this trip? Don't front like you can.

[Big Dipper]

Yes. And how shitty would it be if you can't afford it and you push yourself to do it and then you're miserable or in debt or like, whatever.

[Meatball]

Or the whole time you're like, I actually can't afford to do that, so I'm just gonna stay at the resort.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. So you're not enjoying it together?

[Meatball]

I wanted you to come with me. I'll pay for you. Like, just. And then they're like, no, don't.

[Big Dipper]

Bridesmaids.

[Meatball]

That happened to me once where I, like, literally was just paying for someone to be on vacation with me. Well, it didn't suck, but it was just kind of like they kept on feeling bad about it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yes.

[Big Dipper]

That's where you're like, had I know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

If I offer, it is fine. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to do this.

[Meatball]

Exactly.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But yeah, I think it's important to talk about it.

[Meatball]

Yeah. So get out there and only be friends with people who make the exact same amount of money as you.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yep. When you accept your friendship applications, get those tax returns.

[Meatball]

Yeah. Show me your bank account. First date. First date.

[Big Dipper]

See, she's not even embarrassed for whatever that was was that you just said. She really doesn't get embarrassed.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Sashira is really encouraging. Sometimes it's cool. If I say something too wild, she'll go, and what do you Think that meant there was something. Very kind. Although I'll tell you later. No, do it now.

[Big Dipper]

Love when that happens on a podcast.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Is it about me?

[Meatball]

Oh, no. She's gonna cry. She's starting to cry. It's happening.

[Big Dipper]

She loves you so much.

[Meatball]

She set herself up.

[Big Dipper]

Oh, Nicole, Nicole.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I can't tell what direction it's gonna go.

[Big Dipper]

Sad.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I'm laughing. Okay. Do you remember? Okay. We were in a pitch and we were, like, riffing on something, and I said, I guess this bee has one more strength than you. I really. I didn't understand that. And you just leaned back and went, what? And it hit me, like, laughed so hard because I was like, usually she tries to. Usually I just accept it. I'm like, okay, usually you try to understand or accept it, but usually lean back and went, what? I don't understand that.

[Meatball]

In a bench meeting.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Big Dipper]

Does the number of stripes on a bee mean anything?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, the more stripes you have, the better you are. That was my thought process.

[Big Dipper]

No, that's your meaning.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But in the world at large, no.

[Big Dipper]

Oh, okay. Word.

[Sasheer Zamata]

No. I had made something wild, and I was so proud of myself. And she leaned back and said, what? Cause I think sometimes you'll say something that it feels like it could be a non sequitur, but because we've been around each other for so long, I can kind of see the math that happened to get there. But this was a rare moment where I was like, I don't even know where this came from, what you could be trying to say. It worked, though. They laughed. I think they just really liked the dynamic.

[Meatball]

What?

[Sasheer Zamata]

She leaned away. I was like, no, I'm not going.

[Meatball]

On that journey with you, man. Do a different thing. Say something else. Give me something else. I want something else. Turn the wig around.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And it is wild when I can stump you or confuse you because it happens so infrequently. And when it does, it's real big. It's really funny. Full of surprises. Okay, of the two of you, who do you think would do better in the long running CBS television series Survivor?

[Big Dipper]

Ooh.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Meatball.

[Meatball]

I said, me.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Ooh.

[Meatball]

I'm an eagle Scout and I've been camping before. I know how to start a fire and shoot a gun.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Wow, wow, wow. Cause, you know, notoriously on Survivor, they give you a gun.

[Meatball]

I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Can you really? I wonder if anyone's brought a gun.

[Meatball]

No, probably not. But I feel like I know how to fish.

[Big Dipper]

They're like, I'll show you survival.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Everyone else gone. That's so funny. It's like, what'd you bring from.

[Meatball]

Oh, my God, my gun.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's really funny.

[Meatball]

And I know how to forage for food and what to eat and what not to eat.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You know how to forage for food? I know how to forage food, Eagle Scout.

[Meatball]

I know what food is edible.

[Big Dipper]

I know how to.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Big Dipper]

Forage through a pantry for food like a little bear. I wrote neither.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, no.

[Meatball]

You don't believe in me.

[Big Dipper]

No, I do know you're an Eagle Scout, but, like, you know you can't do a bed day on Survivor.

[Meatball]

Frankly, I think you can hibernate. I think a lot of them do.

[Sasheer Zamata]

There's a lot of hours where you're just doing a thing.

[Big Dipper]

You do a bed day.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Meatball]

They have no energy because they're, like, not eating any food or anything. So most of the show is, like, literally two hours of their day day.

[Big Dipper]

We would have a leg up because.

[Meatball]

I got a lot of fat that I got stored up. Like.

[Big Dipper]

That's right. To burn off.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Like a cat burn it off.

[Big Dipper]

That's why I think Richard Hatch did so well back in season one.

[Meatball]

Wasn't he also villainous?

[Big Dipper]

Like, yes, he was awful.

[Meatball]

He would make everyone do all the.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Work, pay his taxes.

[Big Dipper]

Isn't that crazy?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oops.

[Meatball]

That's a crazy amount of money not to pay taxes on a million dollars.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I wouldn't want to. I wouldn't want to either, because you're gonna walk away with what, like, like, 650,000, 700,000? Taxes are really expensive.

[Meatball]

Yeah, I know that's true. I don't know.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Do you not pay your taxes?

[Meatball]

I do. I do. I do.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But someone. Do you do it for him?

[Big Dipper]

I don't do them. No.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Last question. Last question. What do you hope you're both doing 20 years from now?

[Meatball]

Oh, I know the answer to this one.

[Sasheer Zamata]

The year is 2045. That's crazy. It is crazy. What do you think is gonna happen in 2045? We'll just be in waymos. Will we be here? Huh?

[Meatball]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Will the world be here?

[Meatball]

Oh.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Will the country be here?

[Meatball]

Oh, Dipper's got a lot.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh.

[Big Dipper]

Oh, I know. Can I. When you turn it around, can I say what it is without looking?

[Meatball]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, that's fine.

[Big Dipper]

Okay.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Huh?

[Big Dipper]

Dead. Was that right?

[Meatball]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And you. Yeah. You did it with exclamation point. Dipper, what's yours? Meatball, do you think you know also meatball, how do you think you're gonna die?

[Meatball]

Probably motorcycle accident or something.

[Big Dipper]

Cocaine binge.

[Meatball]

No, I don't do drugs anymore. I don't know.

[Big Dipper]

You would binge on that one night and then get on a motorcycle.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, my gosh.

[Meatball]

And then just drive into the sunset. I don't. Oh, what would dippers be? Probably, like, producing a TV show or something.

[Big Dipper]

Sure. I wrote Owning a Big Gay Business.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. And still friends. I like that.

[Big Dipper]

Or Mourning my friend. Like, looking up videos on YouTube from when we were alive.

[Meatball]

We really did want to open up, like, a gay resort together. I think that we would be very good at that. We talked about this numerous times. You wanted to make it a sex club.

[Big Dipper]

It should have a sex club option. If it is a gay resort, it.

[Meatball]

Should be like a hotel where you can, like, like, stay.

[Big Dipper]

I think we could still do it.

[Meatball]

And yeah, I want to.

[Big Dipper]

And all the bungee cords would.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I think it's possible.

[Meatball]

And the bungee cords would. Would hold all weights.

[Big Dipper]

That's right.

[Meatball]

But you know what I hate? Events where it's like, weight. Weight limits. I don't like it. I understand why. Because I one time went into one of those. What is it?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Zipline?

[Meatball]

No, it's like a room where they try to make you feel like skydiving. And there's a 250 pound weight limit. And so I was, like, right at it. And now I understand why, because I was. I was barely floating. And I was also so hung over that I did my pants in their jumpsuit.

[Big Dipper]

It all comes back to.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And that's why there's a weight limit. They're like, we don't want another fatty.

[Meatball]

All over the place.

[Big Dipper]

That's your nickname.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We went to Mexico and there was a zip line, and I was like, what's the weight limit? And the man looked at me, he went, I think you'll be fine. I was like, well, I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it.

[Meatball]

It.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And then a very big man got stuck halfway there. And I think if you, like, composite our bodies together, we probably weighed the same. And they helped him, but they laughed at him before helping him. And I was like, I'm laughing.

[Big Dipper]

How do they help you when you're stuck in the middle of a Ziploc?

[Sasheer Zamata]

Someone comes towards you, like, oh.

[Meatball]

And then they hook you, and they.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Hook you and then they bring you back. It was humiliating.

[Meatball]

I saw someone get stuck on the one in Las Vegas on that strip. And you, like, fly over Fremont. But they are smart enough to have it, like, linked up to, like, a string already. So the person got stuck and they just, like, wheeled. But I want I was with a friend and he really wanted to do it. And I was like, I cannot promise you that I will do that in the jungle.

[Big Dipper]

That, like, look like they're.

[Meatball]

Oh, you're just like a hundred feet, 300 yards.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I've done one of those. It was cool.

[Big Dipper]

And you're on it for what, five minutes?

[Sasheer Zamata]

It was maybe more. It was a really, like a really long time. It was just trees. It was scary, though, because it is like you're completely horizontal, like Superman pose kind of. And you just like head first. And I was like, I don't love that. My head's the first thing going. Ooh, wee. That's.

[Meatball]

I don't like that. And like, how do you slow it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Down for that one? You don't. You were like. It was like a kind of like a little pocket. And then you like lay face down like you would on a bed and. And then they put like sandbags on top of you, like little weight weights to like secure you.

[Meatball]

I need to be strapped, buckled, belted, double strap to something else.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, I mean, we were strapped in too, but just like, I couldn't like, take an arm out and like grab anything. Oh, that's good though. Yeah, it was just like truly like a burrito.

[Meatball]

That would make me so like. That's so claustrophobic. So crazy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. There's weight limits on trampolines, and I don't think that's necessary.

[Big Dipper]

Have you ever seen someone go right through?

[Sasheer Zamata]

No, wait. Yes, I have seen. But like usually like an outdoor one that's like probably dry rotted.

[Meatball]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But like, I've never seen anyone go through a trampoline, like in a place.

[Meatball]

I like one of those jump parts.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah.

[Big Dipper]

It's because, like, once they bounce on.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It, they have velocity. Oh, oh.

[Big Dipper]

Maybe they're only so high off the ground. Like a weight limit hit the concrete.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay. Maybe. And then some poles.

[Meatball]

Yeah.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, dds, sometimes Pole Studios. That's a dentist, they know size. Sometimes Pole studios will have a weight limit and there shouldn't be because it.

[Meatball]

Should be secure for everybody.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. And it's because if it's not secure for, say a 600 pound person, that means it's not secure for a 50 pound person because it's like the velocity of the. The spinning around the pole, which is what would take a pole out. Isn't that interesting? That is interesting. Yeah.

[Big Dipper]

Also a scientist.

[Meatball]

I know precincts put a pole up and they have it like bolted into the ceiling so there's like no chance of anyone falling.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah. That truly means any weight can get on that because if you are £600, you're not going to be able to spin around.

[Meatball]

Okay, so I can't get on the pole.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, you can get on it. The more, you know, go down to.

[Big Dipper]

Chicken Tenny Tuesdays and pop that pussy on the pole.

[Sasheer Zamata]

There we go. Well, you two silly billies.

[Meatball]

No, you too, silly billy.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We've reached the end.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah, I got to drive to San Diego.

[Meatball]

I gotta go get in drag.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Is there anything you want to plug? Yeah, this.

[Meatball]

Okay.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah, we. Our podcast that we do together is called Sloppy Seconds. And we just launched a new YouTube channel. So you can find all our new YouTube content at YouTube.com/at sloppy second show.

[Meatball]

And don't let that double S confuse you. It's in there.

[Big Dipper]

YouTube now has the at symbol.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I didn't know. I didn't know that either.

[Meatball]

I didn't either. And neither did our audience. They keep on being like, it doesn't exist.

[Big Dipper]

And I'm like, there are thousands of people.

[Sasheer Zamata]

If you just like put it in the search, it doesn't just pop up.

[Big Dipper]

No, no. You have to put that for the brand new channel.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Okay.

[Big Dipper]

But anyway, it's brand new. That's why.

[Meatball]

And then you can catch me every third Friday at Precinct for my fat slut. Also, keep an eye on my Instagram because I travel the party and it.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Goes places and it's a very fun party. It's a good time.

[Big Dipper]

It's a great time. And I also host an adult sexual escapade.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It's a sex party.

[Big Dipper]

It's a party gathering called Drain youn Nut. So if that is of interest to you, check that out.

[Sasheer Zamata]

And you'll never see me working it because.

[Meatball]

And you'll never see me working it either. He won't let me go.

[Sasheer Zamata]

You won't let me work it. Well, it's gotta separate it.

[Big Dipper]

Thank you.

[Meatball]

Whose side are you on?

[Big Dipper]

The truth.

[Sasheer Zamata]

The truth I'm selling. On the side of the journalist.

[Big Dipper]

This is the news. And thank you for tuning in.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Before we leave, do either of you have something you want to leave listeners and viewers with about friendship? Oh, something I've never asked anyone before. Yeah.

[Meatball]

Hey, sometimes friendships go up and down on a rocky road. Which one's my camera? And you have to nurture them. And sometimes nurturing them means not answering phone calls for a few days. And then the next time you see each other, it's like you're brand new friends again. So ignore your friends until you want to.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I love it.

[Meatball]

That's my message.

[Big Dipper]

I think that friendship is way more important than a lot of us give it, like, credit or thought to, you know, like, it's easy to take your friends for granted, especially if you're, like, a social or bubbly person. We are constantly doing events or we're personalities, so we're, like, surrounded by people. But remember that really sad birthday party I had?

[Meatball]

I was there, though, as a friend.

[Big Dipper]

And how many people were there?

[Meatball]

About four.

[Big Dipper]

Yes. And I think you commented and you were like, is that a party? There was. There was some relation to Nicole.

[Meatball]

Right.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Awful people constantly are like, do you remember when you did that awful thing? And I'm like, no.

[Meatball]

Well, okay, this is gonna sound even worse. Which sad birthday party are you talking about?

[Big Dipper]

Was it. Cause the other one was the thing.

[Meatball]

There was one that was public and there was one that was private.

[Big Dipper]

I'm talking about the private.

[Meatball]

That was two different years. Okay, I know the private one. That was a nice one.

[Big Dipper]

Yes. So it was, like four people, and we had a nice dinner. And, like, you know, just when there was five other.

[Meatball]

There was six of us. Don't sell yourself.

[Big Dipper]

Okay. When you see the people on the Instagram having the huge whatever pool party and the hundred friends and the whatever, whatever, don't let that make you think that your four or five close friends are less valuable than the person, I would say. You know what I mean?

[Meatball]

I think three or four actually close friends that know you is better than having, like, 30 friends that barely care about you.

[Big Dipper]

Yeah, exactly.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Yeah, definitely.

[Big Dipper]

I value my close relationships. And it takes a lot to get in the inner sanctum.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I like that.

[Meatball]

Of sorrows.

[Big Dipper]

You really think my life is sad?

[Meatball]

No, I don't think your life is sad. I think you're sad. You have a wonderful life.

[Big Dipper]

She's excited because I have a new therapist and he's mean to me.

[Meatball]

Yeah, baby. Really put him in his place.

[Sasheer Zamata]

What do you mean mean to you?

[Meatball]

Letting him have. He's just saying things I've been saying for years to him.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Oh, my God. Is it just Meatball?

[Big Dipper]

No. In a way.

[Sasheer Zamata]

It'S a must be.

[Meatball]

You're like, I have to go meet with my therapist. And I'm like, ooh, I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go.

[Big Dipper]

Mrs. Doubtfire.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Well, thank you so much for coming.

[Meatball]

Hey, thanks for having us. What a wonderful afternoon.

[Big Dipper]

And we will go do an activity.

[Sasheer Zamata]

We have to.

[Big Dipper]

I've already forgotten what we decided it would be.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Whale watching.

[Meatball]

Whale watching.

[Sasheer Zamata]

I just want you all to know Meatball said it's like Mrs. Doubtfire. So she was like, thank you for being here. And I just went, hello.

[Meatball]

Whale watching. And I'll bring the gun. I want that flubber. Wait, is flubber what they have, or is that a movie?

[Sasheer Zamata]

That's the green stuff.

[Big Dipper]

They have blubber.

[Meatball]

Blubber.

[Sasheer Zamata]

But that is also a Robin Williams movie. Movie. Right?

[Big Dipper]

It is. And how about pierce Brosnan and Mrs. Outfire?

[Meatball]

Ooh.

[Sasheer Zamata]

Drive By Fruiting. A Drive By Fruiting.

[Meatball]

He was so hairy in that.

[Sasheer Zamata]

He was very hairy. All right, bye.

[Meatball]

That was a Headgum podcast. That was a Headgum podcast.