What if one sentence could change the entire direction of your life?

When Chief Kurt Holden’s foster dad introduced him as “my son,” something finally settled. After years of instability and separation, that moment of belonging became the foundation that carried Kurt from a fractured childhood to leading public safety at Wright State University and earning selection to the FBI National Academy.

In this episode of BeTempered, hosts Dan Schmidt and Ben Spahr walk with Kurt through the chapters most people avoid. Being split from his brothers in foster care. Learning to scan rooms for danger instead of approval. Losing stability during his senior year and facing homelessness. Kurt shares with honesty and grit how college became shelter before it became education, and how stability turned survival into excellence.

Law enforcement was never just a career path. It was shaped by childhood moments when uniformed strangers were the only ones who showed up when everything else fell apart. That calling deepened through marriage and faith. His wife saw leadership before the title and helped him move from inherited belief to a lived, grounded relationship with God.

Kurt is unflinching as he talks about reconnecting with his parents. Addiction’s emptiness. A father’s humor returning just in time for goodbye. The intentional decision to fund both funerals as an act of love, release, and closure. The conversation also sits with the difficult truths of foster care. Lunch tickets that single kids out. Gifts that come with receipts. The long, uncomfortable work of forgiveness.

From there, the focus shifts to leadership, wellness, and what lies ahead at Quantico. Psychology. Resilience. Practical tools that matter. A commitment to bring real support back to the officers he serves. Through it all, fatherhood reframes the story. The prayers Kurt once believed went unanswered became an invitation to become the dad he needed and to build the home he always longed for.

If you have ever felt defined by one chapter instead of the full arc of your life, this conversation offers perspective, truth, and grounded hope.

Listen to this episode of BeTempered, share it with someone who needs it, and support the show by subscribing and joining the community at
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