You’re not wrong for wanting things to be better. If you’re searching for a ‘prayer for my husband’ because you’ve been told that if you have enough faith, you can change him, you’re not alone. But here’s what most people don’t tell you…

5 THINGS TO CONSIDER AS YOU FIND A ‘PRAYER FOR MY HUSBAND’ TO HELP HIM CHANGE

1. You’re Faith is Enough

There’s something many faithful women are never told.The problem isn’t your faith. The problem is how your strong and incredible faith is being used, by people or systems, to confuse you instead of help you feel the love God has for you.

2. Prayer is Always Good, and God Loves YOU
God hears your prayers. He wants YOU to be emotionally safe and have a peaceful home. He may be leading you to see that this might not be possible if your husband is lying and refusing to follow the principles if he’s only pretending to believe.

3. The Harmful Message Behind “Pray Harder”
When spiritual leaders or loved ones say, “Just have more faith” or “You’re not a victim, you’re a co-creator”, it’s spiritual bypass. It minimizes real harm and leaves you powerless. The interview below will cover why this is so harmful.

4. You’re allowed to be angry.
Your anger about your husband’s mistreatment of you isn’t a lack of faith. It’s likely God’s way of warning you of danger.

5. God Hasn’t Abandoned You
If you feel like God isn’t answering your prayers for your husband to change, it might be because your husband doesn’t want to change, but he’s lying to you about it. That means he’s lying to God too. Your husband may be blocking you from feeling God’s love for YOU.

If you have heard this kind of messaging and need help getting out of the fog, my workshop will help you determine if you’re husband is lying about his faith in God to keep you from knowing his true intentions.

“The More I Pray The Worse My Husband Gets”

For many women, it might feel like “the more I pray the worse my husband gets.” If you’re feeling this way, here are 8 things to consider.

1. If Your Prayers Aren’t Being Answered, Maybe They ARE Being Answered

In the silent moments of prayer, many victims of emotional abuse question, “Does God even care about me?” or “Why won’t He answer my prayers?”

It’s a painful place to be, feeling as if divine help is just out of reach. However, expressing raw, honest emotions through prayer, including anger, can be a powerful way to stay spiritually connected and grounded in your reality.

If you’re husband is getting worse, consider that perhaps God is SHOWING you your husband’s true character. Perhaps God wants you to see who your husband really is, so you can make decisions that will lead to your emotional safety.

The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Living Free Workshop teaches women strategies to SEE the truth of her husband’s character.

2. Telling a Victim of Emotional Abuse That Prayer Alone Can Change Her Husband is Victim Blaming

Victims often hear clergy or friends say things that aren’t helpful. Telling a victim of abuse that prayer can change her abuser, is so wrong, that’s why it’s so important to recognize victim blaming.

If a victim hears this, she may feel like it’s her fault she’s emotionally abused by her husband. Nothing is farther from the truth. Consider that God may be trying to tell you that there’s nothing you can do about his character if you’re praying and feeling like God isn’t answering.

3. God Doesn’t Want You to Reconcile With Wickedness

Reconciliation with an emotionally abusive person isn’t safe for you emotionally.

Throughout scriputure, God continually asks the righteous to separate themselves from wickedness.

If you feel like, “the more I pray, the worse my husband gets,” consider studying these concepts in scripture: deliverance, separation from wickedness, and departing from wickedness. What do the scriptures say the righteous should do when they encounter evil?

4. Praying The You Can Forgive Might Mean Something Different Than You Think

In the scriptures, there are multiple times where the word forgiveness is paired with the concept of debt. Matthew 6:12 –
forgive your debtors.

If your husband owes you fidelity, love, and loyalty, what happens if you forgive him of that debt to you? That would enable you to move away from him (not closer).

Consider the debt your husband owes you, and how forgiving him of any debt will help you create distance between yourself and the harm he causes in your life.

5. Try Praying For Yourself

Shift the focus of your prayers from your husband to yourself. Ask for strength, courage, and clarity.

This self-focused prayer can empower you to make decisions that are right for you and your children.

We’ve also been commanded to pray for our enemies and those who despitefully use us, but scriptures admonishing us to do that don’t ask us to be in proximity to our enemies or subject ourselves to those who despitefully use us.

6. Pray For Emotional Safety

Pray for the emotional safety.

To be emotionally safe means to exist in an environment where one feels supported, understood, and accepted without fear.

If someone is lying to you, it’s not an emotionally safe situation. Trust and respect are necessary for emotional safety. If your husband lies to you, consider how limiting your exposure to his lies could help you.

7. Pray To Be Shown Correct and True Information

Many women who are being emotionally abused by their husband are unaware of what’s going on because they haven’t been educated about abuse.

To paraphrase Hosea 4:6 – My daughters are destroyed for lack of knowledge.

Clergy and therapists are sadly not aware of how to assess for emotional abuse and genenrally give bad counsel to women with emotionally abusive husbands.

The FREE Betrayal Trauma Recovery Podcast is a great way to learn about what an emotionally abusive husband looks and sounds like, so you have the right information.

8. Pray to Be Led To The Right Support

Feeling abandoned by God can make life seem impossibly dark. It’s easy to feel as though the suffering will never end. You’re not alone. His emotional abuse has isolated you, but reaching out for support can bring light back into your life.

Seeking support is vital for healing. Pray for guidance to find the right people and resources that can help you on your journey. Whether it’s a support group, therapist, or community resource, the right support can make all the difference.

Our online support group for victims of betrayal meet daily in every single time zone to provide the community, validation, and compassion that victims need.

You deserve peace. That’s why the Savior came – to deliver us from evil and bring us peace.

Transcript: When Praying For My Husband Isn’t Working

Anne: We have a member of our community on today’s podcast. Her name is Tracy, and she is a passionate advocate for betrayed wives. Discovering her husband’s addiction set her on a course of education about betrayal trauma, abuse, spirituality, and healing. Tracy is a devoted mother of four children, a compassionate friend, and an avid runner. Mountains and lakes are her happy place. Mountains and lakes are also my happy place, so we have that in common.

We’re going to start by talking about spiritual bypass. One of the most common ways it shows up is when abusers—sometimes supported by clergy or even therapists—frame the solution as simply offering prayer for my husband to change. That’s why there are so many effects of spiritual abuse as well.

PRAYER FOR MY HUSBAND WHEN I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO

Tracy: Absolutely. I’ll just give an example for myself. So my first D-Day was a month after I married. It was very traumatic, very, very traumatic. I didn’t know that I was in trauma. I didn’t know anything about trauma. There was so much I didn’t know. I didn’t have any support system or any real education.

So basically, all I knew was that I was in so much pain, in such a place of darkness. The only way out, it took me two or three days, I don’t remember. Truly being in this dark, dark pit before I realized the only way out was God. And so I went to God in prayer and said, I cannot keep feeling this. I felt like it was going to kill me.

Thinking, “I need to forgive my...