She has smile lines. The library has books.

It’s not really a library as I think of it. Low shelves with windows at waist height. Orchid plants without the orchids. All gifts for someone who lives here. But they call it a library, so will I. That’s where we sat for our visit.

I’ve been spending a lot of time with my grandmother. Yes, at my age I have one left.

One of the boys and I were with her other day. We brought her photos. She talked about the people in them. We asked her questions. She shared. What she could remember. What she kept saying, in one way or another, was be positive. She said she didn’t like that word. But the opposite was worse. “There is no reason to be negative,” she said. I don’t think she completely believes that. Sometimes there are. Then she talks about her husband.

She’s talked about wanting to be with him again. He passed away 20 years ago. That’s a long time to be without your person.

She will get her wish. Maybe in a month. Maybe in a few years. We will all be very, very sad. I’ll be crushed. And in some small way, happy. For her.

And when I think about her, I’ll remember the raisin toast with butter. Lots of butter. The strawberries in cream with a little sugar. And the way she always wanted me to be happy with no strings.

Her face has the wrinkles you’d expect, but they mostly go up. She has smile lines. It wasn’t 94 years of smiling. She had a rough childhood. But mostly 94 years of smiling. I’ll remember that. Her smile lines.

I hope I’ll have smile lines, too. I think hers took work. Mine will too.

Take care. Be good. -Kelly

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