← Beyond Blind Blaming
Beyond Blind Blaming
Breaking Through Self-Imposed Limits: Sales, Success, and Identity | Elyse Archer
00:43:25
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- [00:00]
A
I think that a lot of people think again that when I achieve X thing on the outside, I will be successful, I will be happy, I will be fulfilled. The challenge with that is that your results will never supersede your identity. The number one regret that people shared was I wish I had had the courage to live a life true to me rather than what everyone else expected of me.
- [00:24]
B
Today I'm joined by Elise Archer. Elise is a trailblazer in sales and business mindset coach coaching, helping entrepreneurs and sales professionals break through limitations and achieve record breaking success. As the founder of Supersize Life and a renowned speaker, she teaches high performers how to master their mindset, build authentic personal brands and transform their relationship with money.
- [00:46]
A
And I realized in that moment that no one was coming to give me permission to be powerful. No one was coming to tell me that it was time.
- [01:06]
B
Welcome to Beyond Blind Blaming. This is the place where we explore how easily hidden truths can hold us back, trapping us in cycles of frustration and blame, often without even realizing what's truly stopping us. Each week I'm joined by experts and professionals who share their journey of taking back control of their story and overcoming hidden challenges and stopping blind blaming from dictating their outcomes. The insights you're about to gain will help you see beyond your current limitations, find the courage to seek new perspectives, and ultimately live a life that's both purposeful and powerful. So if you're ready to break free from blind blaming and discover what's possible, you'll definitely want to listen to my next guest. I'm your host, Kevin Saint Clergy and today I'm joined by Elise Archer. Elise is a trailblazer in sales and business mindset coaching, helping entrepreneurs and sales professionals break through limitations and achieve record breaking success. As the founder of Supersize Life and a renowned speaker, she teaches high performers how to master their mindset, build authentic personal brands and transform their relationship with money. Her superpower, from what I've read, is helping people move beyond self imposed limitations and step into their full potential. Whether that means increasing sales, amplifying confidence, or creating a more fulfilling life. Through her programs, podcast and coaching, she's impacted countless lives by redefining success and teaching people how to earn more while living with purpose. Elise, welcome to the show.
- [02:32]
A
Thank you, Kevin. I think that you and I are very aligned in terms of what we teach and what we believe. So this is going to be a great conversation. I'm excited.
- [02:40]
B
Yeah, me too. Well, your work seems to be all about helping people break through their mental and financial ceilings. Especially when it comes to sales or more growth. What led you down this path and what was the turning point that made you say, this is what I was meant to do?
- [02:53]
A
Oh, my gosh. Yes. Well, I think that we, we all teach the thing that we are most meant to learn in life. Right. I'm a big believer of that for those of us who are coaches, consultants, thought leaders. And so, long story short, I do have a long background in sales. I went to school for journalism. And then I remember very clearly one day in my news editorial class, my professor saying how much you would earn as say, this will date me. But I, I was going to become a newspaper reporter. I remember him saying how much you would earn. And even in my young, I think I was like, not even quite 20. My young, you know, teenage brain at that point, I remember thinking, I don't think that's enough to, to support the shoe habit that I, that I heard. So I had always enjoyed sales. I'd always. It's just been something that I was good at and enjoyed. And so I got out of school, went into media sales, rose up the ranks in the corporate ladder. And I found myself in my late 20s, having checked all the boxes for what I thought I was supposed to do to be happy and successful. I was grinding at work. I was top of the leaderboard, had a nice house, a nice car, was married. And what I wasn't telling anyone was that on the inside I was feeling completely broken. Is struggling with anxiety, panic attacks, eating disorder. And I remember right before my 28th birthday in 28, just always been a special number for me. I was born on the 28th. I see it everywhere. It's kind of like my number. I remember looking around at my life and saying that there has to be something else. And I, I'm not available to take this 1 28th year of my life, at least that I get in this incarnation and, and live it the way that I've been living it. And so I was terrified to make a lot of changes because everything in my life felt like it was in misalignment at that point. But I knew I had to make a change. And so it was actually right around that time in my life when I had discovered personal development, which I really hadn't been exposed to growing up, grew up with, very academically smart, you know, Ivy League parents. We were. There was a lot of focus on academics in our household, but it was all about the analytical mind. It was nothing about what you and I now know and believe and teach in the personal development, neuroscience space. And so, because things in my life at that time were so misaligned, I didn't like sitting by myself and listening to my thoughts. And I had to do a lot of that in the sales job I was in. I was an outside sales rep in a media company, and you would drive around a lot to visit clients. And so I would have these drives that lasted hours. And that was how I discovered listening to podcasts, because I didn't want to be alone with the thoughts in my head. I was like, I've got to find something. And so through podcasting, stumbled into personal development shows. And it gave me the courage to make a lot of changes in my life. And so, in a very short period of time, right before I turned 28, I left the marriage, which I was petrified of what people would think of me. You know, having being divorced did that. I left my corporate job. I knew that I was good at selling and I wanted. It was like, I'm going to be a sales coach. Had no idea what I was doing. Had one client who had paid me $300 to review a presentation for him, and I was like, it's proof of concept. I can make money out of corporate. Let's go. And the, you know, best $300 I ever, ever made. But, I mean, I was. I was bolded. I took a lot of what a lot of people would consider big risks. But I thought, what's on the other side of this can't be worse than how I'm feeling and living right now. And so, you know, made a lot of jumps in a short amount of time. Started my sales coaching business. I started making money quickly because I had no other choice than to. So did that, you know, long story short, found a new partner. Amazing man. And went on to have a pretty successful sales coaching business and a brand in the personal branding space as well for about 10 years. And I'll pause because there is another part to the story that comes after that, and it has to do with my quantum leap, specifically around money and income and a lot of what I teach now. But I'll just pause before I share any of that. If there's anything you want me to go deeper into with that kind of.
- [07:15]
B
We will. And I'm going to get into it. I just want to see how you triggered me, because when you were. And I'm about to date myself, because when you said I had a sales job as well, where I was driving about 5,000 miles a month, I had seven states that I covered And I discovered audio tapes. Not CBs, audio tapes. And that's what made me laugh because I thought, oh, she's going to say she listened to audio tapes, too. And then I was like, oh, this is before podcasts even existed. So I picked up in a Kinko's. I don't know if anybody listening knows what a Kinko's is. Hopefully some of the older people are listening. It's now called FedEx office. But in a Kinkos, I picked up a Tony Robbins book, Awaken the Giant within. And that was my first audio tape that I listened to. And I listened to two, three, four audio tapes a week. And then if I liked it, I'd go buy the book. Anyway, it just made me laugh when I was like, oh, she's going to say it. And I was like, oh, hard cash.
- [08:06]
A
Well, what I didn't say, Kevin, was the media job. Now, I went on to do a lot of digital media and SEO and all of that, but my first media job was Yellow Pages. So there you go. So it's okay. We're on the sign.
- [08:20]
B
Okay, good. All right. I feel better.
- [08:22]
A
There you go.
- [08:24]
B
I had to do a white cloth ceremony. Sometimes I'll get into. I do both medical and other businesses, but I got invited to a white coat ceremony. And I. What am I saying is, was, you're only as rich as your Rolodex. Blank looks. Nothing. But they haven't even know what a Rolex is. And they're like, huh? Like, you know the little broly things in your clinics with all the manufacturers names and important numbers like, oh, yeah, yeah, that's a Rolodex. And then I kind of had them. And there was one woman in the backseat. Well, I knew what it was. It's my second career. But it was pretty funny.
- [08:52]
A
So funny. It was such a good quote until no one knew what a Rolodex was.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Oh, my gosh.
- [08:58]
B
So now I say your network is your net worth. That's an home for every age group. Anyway, enough about how old I am. But you do seem to focus a lot on redefining success. I mean, if you want to go into what you just said, we can go any way you want. But you just made me think of what are some of the biggest myths that people believe about success that actually hold them back.
- [09:18]
A
Yeah, absolutely. You know, I think one of the biggest things is that so many people approach success. And this is how I did it for so long in my life and in that early part of my career where I Shared that I was like checking a lot of boxes, but inside feeling quite broken, is that at some point I'm going to achieve a goal, whether it's a certain amount of money, a certain career milestone, maybe I'm going to buy this house and then I'm going to be successful, then I'm going to be happy, then I'm going to be fulfilled. And that was how I chased success for so long in my life. And what I found was when I was approaching it from that perspective, there was always this energy of lack within me. And so there's actually a concept that we teach within our methodology called selling from wholeness, which is the opposite of how, of what most people do. But I'll share that in a minute to kind of tee it up. I think that a lot of people think again that when I achieve X thing on the outside, I will be successful, I will be happy, I will be fulfilled. The challenge with that is that your results will never supersede your identity. Okay. And so let's say that I am a person who's maybe currently earning in sales or as an entrepreneur. Maybe I'm earning at the six figure level. This was my. I'm gonna, I'll give numbers here just for, for context for people. Maybe I'm currently earning at that level. And I know that for me to achieve the type of life I want, I really want to be making a million dollars or more a year again, not what some people may want to do. If I try to pursue making a million dollars from the mindset, from the beliefs, from the energy, from the embodiment of a six figure earner and I'm chasing that million and I feel distant and separate from it. I'm never going to do it, or if I do it, I may achieve it briefly. But nothing on me has changed, nothing on me has shifted. To be able to allow in greater energy, to able to hold more money, et cetera. And so I will go back to where I was or I'll get there and I'll feel super unfulfilled and I'll be like, why am I not satisfied? Why is this not changing? So the concept that we teach of selling from wholeness actually stems from. I shared earlier I had another quantum leap experience in my life and this was, oh gosh, about four years ago now, where had, you know, made a lot of changes in my late 20s and had gone on to realign a lot of my life with who I became. Once I discovered personal development and went down a strong spiritual path and all of that. But no matter how hard I worked, I was still always stuck earning six figures. And again, nothing wrong with that. It was just for me. I knew for my life I wanted to be able to do more. I wanted to be able to contribute more. And I knew I had more potential. And so again, I had rebuilt and changed and improved so many parts of my life, but my money story was still stuck. And I finally, before my 35th birthday. So everything happens around birthdays, right? It seems, at least for many of us. I had been reading a book by Bronnie Ware called the Top Five Regrets of the Dying. I'm not sure if you're. If you're.
- [12:35]
B
I'm writing that one down. I love it.
- [12:37]
A
It's a. It's a phenomenal book. So Bronnie was a hospice care worker and she sat on people's deathbeds and she shared that people on their deathbed tended to have five common regrets that they all shared. And the number one regret that people shared was, I wish I had had the courage to live a life true to me rather than what everyone else expected of me. Oh yeah, it struck me. I remember I would read that book and I would read it late night. Our first son was four months old. So I'd be sitting up late night, you know, nursing him under a dim light and just reading it. And it struck me how much in my life I was still hiding, how much I was still playing small. I had rebuilt a lot of my life. But in my business at that time, I was supporting a lot of amazing individuals, incredible individuals. New York Times bestselling authors, top 10 podcasters. I mean, really like phenomenal billionaires. I was supporting them in building their companies and their brands and supporting them and doing the things that I personally really wanted to do. I wanted to have a million dollar plus business. I wanted to be speaking on big stages. I wanted to make more money so I could retire my husband. I had remarried so I could retire my husband from his night shift respiratory therapy job and free him up to pursue his dream of medical school. But I was stuck in this loop of doing what I call putting my life on layaway, saying, someday I'll do that when things are convenient, I'll do that when I have more money, when, when someone tells me it's time. And I realized in that moment that no one was coming to give me permission to be powerful. No one was coming to tell me that it was time. No one was going to come say, you're good enough, you're worthy you can earn more, you can pitch yourself for the big stages, et cetera. And so I just decided in that moment, this was also around the time that one of my dear friends, and he was a podcast co host of mine for years, passed away in his sleep at age 39. And I thought, I'm not that much younger than him. Hopefully I have a lot more time on this planet. But I don't know. So I thought, I don't care what it takes, I don't care what it has to look like. I'm done playing small and I'm ready to do whatever it takes to finally step into the life that's been on my vision board for so long, but hasn't manifested for some reason. And so Ask in the Universe delivers. And again, it's a long story. I want to try to tell the brief, high level version here. I was presented with the opportunity to invest in myself in coaching. And the investment was $50,000. Didn't have the money, had made 100 grand the whole year before, hadn't been saving half of it for coaching. But I think we all have those moments that we get to self define. And I thought, if I'm going to be the woman who runs a million dollar plus business, who does the things that I say I'm, that I want to do for so long, I have to learn to think like her, I have to learn to invest like her and I have to be willing to put it all on the line to show up as her. So what you and I both know is that when something is a must, we always find a way, right? Our must will move mountains. So found a way to scrape together the deposit on a credit card. Total terrifying, but clenching moments, saying, oh my gosh, what am I doing? I'm the breadwinner. Am I in our family? Am I putting us in jeopardy? But I dove in. And what was powerful about it was because I was so uncomfortable. And this is where I think there's so much power in the work that you do. And I, and I appreciate it because there's so much alignment here because I was so uncomfortable, I had to get under the hood and look at every limiting belief I had ever held about myself, about money, about what was possible, about success. I started doing a deep dive into studying the power of the subconscious mind. Neuroscience, our belief systems. For me personally, I'm a big Joe Dispenza fan, do a lot of his meditations and work, et cetera. So I started diving into that and in a period of six weeks, I Went from having been stuck at the same income level for over 10 years, always working as hard as I possibly could but never breaking through to 10xing and turning my annual income into my monthly income and what I experienced during that time and I want to bring it back to your question about success and the concept we teach of selling from wholeness was that the inner work that I did during that time in a very intense short period of time to heal so many limiting beliefs, so much of my past story of self imposed limitations, the work that I did had me feeling finally for the first time I could remember in my life, whole again, feeling worthy, feeling abundant, feeling better. Even though nothing else had changed yet more money hadn't come in, my business hadn't grown, nothing had changed that I had rediscovered what it was like to have an open heart and to live with wholeness again. And from that place of a very different way of thinking, a very different identity that I had developed in self concept that I had developed from that place. More money naturally came the results that I've been chasing for so long but fell out of reach naturally came, but it was almost the cherry on top because I felt so good and felt so whole again. And so that is a long answer to your question, but hold context to me. Success, if we're, if we're chasing it from an energy of lack where it doesn't matter what the results are, we're always going to feel lack. When we learn how to feel whole again within ourselves, then the results will naturally follow. The money will naturally follow the income, the possibilities, the opportunities. So that to me is the biggest myth about success. And to me I, I love and appreciate money. I love living an abundant lifestyle. I care about that. That's part of our brand. But at its core, success is happiness. That to me is success.
- [18:30]
B
Now I agree. I, I don't know if you ever listened to the Mountain is you.
- [18:37]
A
I've heard of it.
- [18:37]
B
Yeah, yeah, I would. I was listening to it again on the way home. I had a big long trip at a drove home this time. It's just so good with where you're at now, I think you'd get even more of it because this is the second time I've read it and I think after writing my book, which you're right, you do stuff for yourself. I kind of wrote it for myself about chapter three realized, wait a minute, this isn't for everybody else, this is for me. So I love what you said and I love the short story long version, it's awesome. But you said a couple things that I wrote down that I love. First of all, investing in yourself is actually, you kind of stole my thunder at the end. That's usually something I ask at the end. So thank you for sharing that because I'm finding a lot of people don't do it. We have some high end mastermind groups and that. That price range that you mentioned, and it's interesting because the average person in the group grows 43% or more their first year. And we don't help them with their marketing, we don't help them with anything else except their mindset and. And breaking that ceiling that we all have. And a lot of it was what she said. But I'm anxious to have you come and speak to the group as well because they need to hear stuff like this over and over again. But I'm also super proud of you. Kudos for going from scared to success by taking that leap of faith and saying, you know what? I deserve this. I don't know if you want to talk about what you had to do internally with your identity to say, I don't know about this, because I'm sure if anybody else knew you were spending 50 grand. I've noticed that some people are like, what the hell are you doing? What are you thinking? This is so stupid. They're trying to keep you at their level. I don't know what you want to call it, but talk to us just a little bit about that.
- [20:00]
A
Oh my gosh. That's a great question, Kevin. And I was speaking to one of my coaching groups yesterday about this because that time period in my life, I remember I was so scared. I had. And I think we can all relate to our own version of this. I had an intuitive knowing that I needed to do it primarily to get so uncomfortable that I would have to face all of my limiting beliefs. Finally. And so that intuitive knowing was still and small and quiet, but it was calm and grounded. Meanwhile, my analytical monkey survival brain is telling me all the reasons why this is a terrible idea. And so I was very conscious in that time. And I'm glad that I was to speak to almost no one about it because my family has different thought patterns on this than I do. Pretty much everyone around me would have a different thought pattern than I do. I spoke to two people. I told my. One of my girlfriends who was my mastermind partner, who I knew was also on the same path as me. And I remember I thought she was gonna say, that's a terrible idea. What are you doing? And she what she said was, she said, well, how does it feel to you in your body when you think about expanding at that level? I was like, man, this woman I know and credit to her because she, she said, does it feel expansive? Does it feel exciting, even if it feels scary? And I said, yes. And she said, go for it. But the important thing is that you have to remember that the person who you're talking to, their paradigm, their mindset is creating their results. And so if they don't have the results that you want, why in the world are you going to ask them for their opinion on anything? Frankly, I don't think we need to ask anyone for an opinion on something. I think we have an intuitive knowing within us. But I, she was on the same path and I knew that she was expanding at that same level. And so I said, I'm going to just tell her. And then I told my husband because I thought, he's going to see this on the credit card. Well, we need to get them. Yeah. But here's one thing that I'll say, and I'm big on this because it sounds like you work with a lot of women. We work with a lot of women as well. And a lot of times I'll hear from a woman, well, I just need to go ask my husband or ask my partner. I didn't ask. I told him, I let him know, hey, here's why I'm doing this. I'm asking for your support in it. And so to his credit, he said, okay, you think you can pay it off? You think you can do it? I was like, I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't think so. And he was supportive. So if I had run that by anyone else, no doubt they would have simply mirrored their own fears back to me and I would have picked up on it. And I may not. Who knows, maybe I would have gotten stuck in my head and not done it. And my company wouldn't be here. My husband would still be working as a night shift, respiratory therapy versus being in his second year of medical school. We wouldn't have the life that we have now. And so I think just remembering that when you are in those periods where you have that intuitive knowing that you're being asked to do something that may feel big and stretchy and bold, that is your soul speaking to you. This is how I think about it. We are wired for expansion. You are going to be called on to constantly expand. You're never going to know the full how. You're never going to see the full picture. But one of the other things that I teach is your desires are green lights. So that calling to expand, to do something bigger, to do something stretchy, that's your invitation. No one else is on the same path as you. Right. And if you're like, oh, I need to go talk to this person or that person, they're just going to water that dream with their fears, with their limiting beliefs, they're going to end up ripping it out of the ground with you and you likely won't pursue it. So I think it's really important to, you know, to just to trust your intuition, to trust your knowing. And if you seek guidance from anyone, seek it from people who are at the level you want to be at versus people who are at your current level or not at all aligned with where you want to go.
- [24:00]
B
I found that nobody that's about or at or where you want to be will ever tear you down. It's only the people below you that will tear you down. I also believe that it's our subconscious mind, especially since I've been reminded. I really think you'll. And I would love for you to read my book first. First. But then the mountain is you I think would be you. You did into just like I did. But I do think that when we do things like that and we ask for people's opinion because we know what they're going to say deep down inside we know they're going to tear us down. I think it's our subconscious mind trying to protect us from what it feels like still might be a mistake. We're not all there. So I think it's being aware of when you do this is the first step because when you say I'm going to go ask so and so what they think, I think we need to stop and pause and say, what are they going to say? And are they going to talk me out of it? And maybe this is me protecting myself. Maybe I shouldn't do that.
- [24:46]
A
Yeah, I love that. Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah.
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B
I wrote down another thing that I loved, what she said. What'd you call the top regrets of the dying? Do you think some people have to hit rock bottom before they can make a change?
- [25:00]
A
Yeah, I mean, well, I don't think we have to.
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B
Right.
- [25:03]
A
But I think that, you know, I think that if we are not necessarily in this work or we're not consciously focused on changing, then there we'll get some sort of a wake up call. Maybe it's a health diagnosis, maybe it's a financial thing. Maybe it's a. A relationship shakeup. And like I said earlier, I do believe that this is my. My own personal take on it. So I don't ever ask anyone to believe what I believe. It's just how I think about it. I think of us as spir beings having a human experience. I believe that we are wired for expansion. And so as someone who is wired for expansion, that you're always going to be called on to grow. You're always going to be called on to evolve and to become a greater version of yourself. And so we're always going to be asked to change.
- [25:55]
B
Right?
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A
Nothing is ever stagnant. And so if we. If we aren't willing to do that and if we aren't listening to our soul's calling and if we're kind of ignoring it, and I think that's where. And I've certainly been here in my life, but I think that's where for a lot of people, addictions kick in, or bad habits kick in, or just toxic things, relationships, et cetera, start to manifest as you haven't been listening, you haven't been paying attention to the guidance from your. Your higher self, from your soul. So if we're not doing that, then your soul's got to get your attention somehow. And so in those moments where we suddenly. We feel like we lose everything that we thought was important to us, I actually don't think that's necessarily a bad thing because I think if you harness the energy the right way, you can rebuild beautifully. But I also think that we can grow and evolve and change without having to hit rock bottom. But I think it takes a level of being really aware and conscious. But one of the things that I firmly believe is that staying in the comfort zone is not the path. So your comfort zone becomes a cage at a certain point. And what was once the next level dream at some point will become your comfort zone. And you're going to be asked to evolve again out of that. So we've got to be willing to consistently get uncomfortable.
- [27:12]
B
Cool.
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A
Yeah.
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B
I'm going to shift over to some of the selling stuff that you've been teaching about. Loved your video, by the way. The free video that you gave was excellent. I found that many people, no matter what they're selling, get stuck in what I call the blameless bosses. Push scripts on people. As you talked about this morning, or at least it was this morning for me, salespeople hate scripts and see them as handcuffs. Potential customers can totally tell when it's a script. Talk to us about what and who people blame when sales aren't going well and how's the thing about it?
- [27:40]
A
Good question. I like that. I don't think I've ever been asked that. Well, we work with a lot of entrepreneurs as well as corporate sellers. So I think win when someone is conscious enough and when they're in this work and they're, they're doing the work that you teach or that I teach, they will take ownership. They will take ownership when they are not conscious of the fact that they are. That they're the common denominator in all of their results. It will be things like, you know, my market is tap, my boss is doing this, the company has no potential. It's all of those things. So it's always something outside of me which is at its core is victim mindset and victim energy. And so I work with a lot of people through that. And to their credit, our clients in our community are really open and conscious and aware. So I think anytime we're putting our results or even our feelings on something outside of us, we haven't taken full ownership and we're not in our full power in that moment to say, oh, wait a minute, I'm creating this, I'm manifesting this.
- [28:44]
B
So yeah, I completely agree. When I was writing the book, I discovered something called self serving bias. Have you ever heard of that?
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A
I have a sense of what it means, but I, I'm going to have.
- [28:54]
B
You pretty close to what you just described. It means when salespeople are doing really well. It's all me, baby. Yep, I had a great month. I am awesome. I am totally the salesperson that you guys want to work for you. But when it's a bad month, they revert back to what the subconscious makes them say, couldn't be me. Yeah, the market's down, they go on to Facebook, then they get into that confirmation bias. Is anybody else having a slow month? Oh, good, it's not just me. Well, it's definitely not me. And I think we go into protection mode subconsciously is what I've learned. Which leads us to blind blending and things like that. So it's instead of asking, well, gosh, did I make my 75 cold calls this morning or whatever else you're doing? Or did I actually get on video to start teaching people to start establishing me as a local, go to expert, things like that. So, but I just, I laughed because I am totally guilty of it. When I read, I was like, oh, self serving vice. Yep, that's me. Things are going well, man, I am so awesome. It's ridiculous. And when things don't go well, oh, man, the market must be down.
- [29:51]
A
It's. Yeah, I think we all do it right. We all do it to a certain level. And. But to know what it is and to be able to catch it is a beautiful thing. Because then in those moments of contrast, I call it contrast. In those moments of contrast, we're able to at some point kind of wake up and say, oh my gosh, all right, I'm the common denominator here, so what do I get to shift in my thought patterns and how I'm showing up? And I do think that when we're in those moments where we're experiencing either negative results or negative emotions, there's some part of us who's being asked to evolve, who's being asked to grow, to change. One of the really powerful things about this work, and we do. Sounds like you do as well. We do a lot of identity work with our clients is, like I said before, your results will never supersede your identity. So if you're someone who wants to go from maybe 10k months to 100k months, for example, the version of you who's doing 100k months, they have a very different way of thinking, feeling, and acting than the version of you at 10k months. And so a lot of people will get fixated on the money or the goal itself, self. And they'll say, let me go all in on that. Let me focus on that. And then they can. They usually approach it from lack and from I'm not there yet. And so they're in a spin, they're hustling, they're trying to achieve this goal, but they're doing it from their same level of consciousness that they were at before. And what we encourage them to do is focus not so much on creating the end result, but focus on creating the version of yourself who has the end result every day. And when we're in those moments where things aren't going our way, there's some part of the old version of us that's being near to us that we are being asked to evolve from. Maybe it's scarcity thinking, maybe it's lack and limitation thinking, maybe it's unworthiness. But looking at what's the pattern here? What's the thought that I keep telling myself, I'm alone, I can't do it. No one supports me. There's not enough. That's the thing that you get to change, that's being mirrored and highlighted to you in this moment. So you focus on shifting that the results will follow the. They're a byproduct of how you're thinking.
- [31:59]
B
I'm glad you said it because it's something I had to go through last year when I've. And probably there's gonna be new pictures on my website, but I've lost 40 pounds in a year and I've got 30 more to go now we're really pushing it to a fitness competition in September. But people are always asking, like, what'd you do? Give me, you know, the diet. Give me what you were doing physically. I'm like, it wasn't really that, guys. I started with the mindset and what I discovered was that I think what was holding me back. And I'm starting to learn this because we just went through this with salespeople and some people in the medical field who don't feel like they're a salesperson, even though they're taking money for a product or insurance doesn't pay for, they're totally selling. I always like to say sales is not a four letter word. It is five. You can count them, but that's what they feel like. But they never wanted to be that guy because we've always experienced the bad salesperson. I think when they try too hard, they end up being that guy and they don't even realize it. But I found that I didn't want to be that gym rat douchebag. And once I read that, I was like, oh my God, that's totally me. And so I had to become a different person to say, I'm an athlete, I eat like a pro, I train like a champion. And those three statements every day for about six months just helped me transform and get a little bit more fanatical about it. And eventually I started asking myself, about three months in, I started to say, why can't you be as fanatical about your health and fitness as you are about sales and brewing your business? And that was the one that really propelled me to the next level. That's when the fat loss started going just like this. Pretty cool. But so I'm so glad you talk about it because it really helped me and it's helped me be a better coach with people too, because we started starting with their identity and let them speak to themselves and the things that they say. Like, I had a recent client who's like, he said, what, Kevin, you on fat? And I was like, right, stop. And you have to start thinking a little differently. You have to start telling yourself, I've I totally stole this from Brennan. Burchard was who I love very much, and he taught me how to have a to be list. Everybody's got a to do list, but you don't have a to be list. Who do you want to be? And that has helped me help a lot of other people say, well, who do you want to be? We did it our mastermind last week. And people were coming up after, like, I don't even know where to start. I was like, well, let's talk about and what kind of woman you want to be, what kind of mom you want to be, kind of business owner. What kind of leader do you want to be? Wow. Anyway, it was a big one for us.
- [34:18]
A
That's huge. And one thing that you said that I'd love to just call out because I think it's so good is noticing and being aware of the judgments that you may have on your next level. So, like for you example with the health piece, there was some sort of belief of I'm going to be a gym rat douchebag if I really go all in on this. And I think people do this subconsciously and they're not aware of it unless it's mirrored back to them. So if I, you know, the whole rich people are greedy, rich people are this and that, that will stop you from making more money in your business or in your sales every single time. Or if we have a judgment of, you know, if I like, we're scaling our company right now in a big way. And I remember even looking at my friends and colleagues who are running companies at the level that I know I'm being called to, and I had a judgment on, like, they work all the time. That feels really heavy. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's too much responsibility. And I just remember, like, when I became aware of it, I thought, well, that's not a helpful belief. Like, let me look for other examples of people who are doing it in a way that feels good to me. And then also, what do I need to start thinking about myself in terms of leadership and visibility? So just noticing the judgments that you have on your next level and that once you release, though, if there's so much freedom in that and you'll, you know, like you said, the beliefs and the activity and behavior that you're taking will be very different.
- [35:39]
B
I think you'll be able to work harder than ever the people without even realizing it because 15, 500 steps a day is a lot. But I hit it even when I'm traveling and everything else. You Know you have your bad days and good days, but when you do it for a long time, it doesn't feel like work anymore.
- [35:56]
A
Right. It becomes who you are.
- [35:57]
B
Yeah.
- [35:58]
A
Yeah.
- [35:59]
B
Well, this is a big word. And I've actually had some podcast guests that think it's overused. I couldn't wait to ask you about it because I want to get your thought on it. Most many entrepreneurs and salespeople struggle with what's on going called imposter syndrome, which I think is thrown out there quite a bit these days. And this person was actually pushing back a little bit, but especially when they had new levels of success. Do you have any examples of when you've recently had to coach somebody through that mental barrier? Or how do you feel about the imposter syndrome?
- [36:25]
A
Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And I agree with you. I do think that we can tend to perpetuate it by just like a very continued dialogue culturally about it. But my perspective on it is I've experienced, I've certainly experienced my own version of that. Even not too long ago, we, we bought a new home a couple months ago. And I remember moving in and thinking there was a couple of weeks where I was like, is this okay? Like, is this really my. And what I realized in that moment was that it was really. I do inner child work with my clients and I, I believe in it. But I, I thought at first I was like, this is a big bunch of bull. Like, I don't know how this is going to help me grow my business. Before I had a coach take me through it, and once I did it, I said, wow, okay, that was the best thing I ever did, one of the most painful but best things I ever did. So what I'm aware of now is that when the small, younger version of me is still kind of stuck in her old paradigms and thoughts, or when I'm, when I haven't healed those old parts of me, she will show up and she'll be like, who are you gonna live in a house like this? Is this safe? Is this okay? Who are you to be stepping on that stage? And so, sure, you know, sure. It's, it's a thing we actually. Well, I'll speak to how I deal with it and then I'll share another, another example. But I think in that moment it's, for me, it's going back to inner child work and helping my. Whoever's showing up in that moment, my inner 5 year old, my inner 8 year old, feel safe and letting her know that this is okay. I'm in charge. I've gotcha. So I do a lot of that. And we had an amazing woman who's a friend of mine, you may know her, Amberly Lago. But she. She came in and, yeah, she's. She's great. She was speaking on a stage not too long ago with some pretty heavy hitters, like an astronaut and someone else. And she's. Again, she's a friend. And she came in and spoke to my mastermind a while back, and she shared this story that she was flying to the event and she was at the airport, and she recorded something on Instagram stories really quick. And she was like. And she's Southern. She's. She's Texas, too, so y' all would relate well in that. In that way. But she recorded something on her stories to her audience. She was like, y', all, you're never gonna guess who I'm speaking on stage with. I've got this guy and that guy, and, oh, my gosh, like, wish me luck. And she said her husband doesn't normally, like, call her when she's traveling and she's about to get on a flight. He calls her, though, and he says, what in the world did you just post on your stories? And because she's speaking on some pretty big stages now, she's doing things like big leagues in this space. And he said, do you think Mel Robbins is going to get on her stories and say, oh, I'm about to speak so and so wish me luck, or that Brendon Burchard is going to do that? And he's like, it's up to you, but I think you should take that down. She said in that moment, she was like, oh, my gosh, you're so right. And just own it. Own that I'm on this stage. Own that this is. Of course I'm here. So I think that's the other thing. I've practiced saying this in my life. When something really good happens, I say, of course. Thank you. Of course. Thank you. Just to normalize it and help get both the subconscious mind and the nervous system calibrated to that level of success.
- [39:38]
B
I love it.
- [39:39]
A
Yeah.
- [39:40]
B
Well, you've clearly invested in yourself over the years, and you believe in mastermind groups and podcasts. Anything else? Do you like to read? Anything else you'd advise people? It's one of my favorite questions asked. How do you prefer to invest in yourself?
- [39:51]
A
Oh, my gosh, I love investing in myself. So I. It's probably easy for me to answer your question. Yeah, I do it a lot of different ways. So I'm almost always in some sort of coaching or mentoring, and I invest in a lot of different ways. So I know for me, for one of the things that I value is beauty, my environment, how I feel. So I do invest in just having, like, a beautiful home environment. And I used to judge myself for that or make myself wrong for that, and now I've learned, like, I just thrive, and the energy that I'm in and the environment that I'm in matters. Wardrobe to me matters. I used to think, oh, that's so superficial. But I just. For me, I feel different when I'm taking care of myself, when I'm wearing things that feel a certain way. So I think it all comes down to your environment, which is the people you surround yourself with, I. E. A mastermind, group coaching, mentoring, as well as elevating physical environment, whatever matters to you. And so I think it's so important that we continually pour into ourselves and that when we invest in ourselves, whatever the investment is, that we use it strategically, saying, I am the man who does this. I am the woman who does this. I live at this level. I operate at this level, I think at this level, et cetera. And I did discover for myself when I made my first big, scary investment. I think part of why I grew so much was I had to finally feel worthy to invest in myself in that way, and that is what made a really big difference in my results.
- [41:24]
B
It's a huge step. Yeah. At the mastermind, we had a speaker last week who said, people get burned out or they stop liking what they're doing, especially when they're business owners, when their business outgrows their personal development.
- [41:39]
A
Wow.
- [41:39]
B
I know. That was a powerful statement. I sat there and I wrote it down. I was like, oh, my God. Yeah, that's really true. Because we stop growing, we get so busy that we stop investing ourselves. We stop reading books, we stop listening to podcasts. So, great point that you made. Well, I know you and I could talk for several hours, and I would love to have you back on the show again or have you one of our masterminds. But if people want to get in touch with you, I know you have an offer for the audience today, which we're super excited about, but if they go to share the offer, and then also how they can get in touch with you if they'd like to work with you.
- [42:08]
A
Thank you so much, Kevin. I so appreciate this. This was a blast, and there's so much alignment. I'd love to get you into our community as well, speaking about what you do, because I think it's, it's just really powerful. So. Yeah. So we have, for those who enjoyed this conversation, we have a free training on a methodology that we teach called the four quadrants of Quantum sales growth. So I share how I went from being stuck at the same level for over 10 years to 10xing in six weeks. And so we have a very special link for your community and your audience. So my assistant Senate. I want to make sure I get it right. It's elisearcher.com blind blaming. So if you go there to. Yep. If you go to that link, that will help you get the free training and we'll know that you are a VIP member of Kevin's audience and people can dive much deeper from there. And then I'm Elise Archer on all social media as well.
- [43:01]
B
Great. Well, thank you so much for taping the time. It was an amazing conversation. I can't wait to see the feedback that we get from it. I'm sure it'll be awesome. Thanks again.
- [43:10]
A
The n. Thanks, Kevin.
- [43:14]
B
Sam.