Beyond Blind Blaming

Episode Title: How to Overcome Fear and Confidently Transition into a Career You Love
Host: Kevin D. St.Clergy
Guest: Tammy Gooler Loeb (Career & Executive Coach, Author, Speaker)
Date: October 21, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode explores the unseen internal barriers—particularly fear—that hold high-achievers back from pursuing satisfying, meaningful work. Host Kevin D. St.Clergy is joined by Tammy Gooler Loeb, career and executive coach and author of Work from the Inside Out. Together, they discuss navigating career transitions, redefining success, reframing limiting beliefs and “blind blaming,” and practical strategies for uncovering fulfilling work—all while weaving in stories, research, and actionable advice.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Tammy’s Personal Journey Into Career Coaching

• Backstory (02:25–05:00): Tammy describes being raised with the mindset that one’s career should be purposeful and share her own path through various fields, her draw toward psychology and helping others, and ultimately her certification and career coaching.
  • Notable Quote:
    “Sometimes you start to get into something and you just feel like your two feet are planted firmly on the ground. You're exactly where you're meant to be.” — Tammy (04:18)

2. Writing "Work from the Inside Out" & the Central Role of Fear

• Book Origin (05:07–06:54): Tammy shares what prompted her to write her book—realizing common themes in client stories and wanting to spread the message of possibility beyond ingrained fears.
• Why Start With Fear? (07:01–09:38): Fear as both friend and foe: it can stop us, but it also signals what excites us and what’s worth exploring.
  • Notable Quote:
    “Sometimes we're more comfortable with our discomfort than making ourselves uncomfortable and making a change… it doesn't have to be some ultimate goal that you feel like you're never achieving.” — Tammy (01:16 & 13:18)
  • Memorable Analogy: “Courage means doing it scared.” — Kevin referencing a friend's story (09:38)

3. Redefining Success & Navigating Midlife Career Changes

• Shifting Definitions (10:17–13:14): Tammy challenges the notion of “success as destination,” encouraging focus on everyday value and fulfillment.
• Midlife Transitions (13:14–14:39): Stories of people making significant changes well into their 40s, 50s, or later, and why “starting over” isn’t really starting from scratch.
  • Notable Quote:
    “You're not starting all over again. What happened to all the things you've been doing up till now? Of course you bring some of that with you.” — Tammy (14:06)

4. The Real Meaning of Networking

• Beyond "Rolodex" (14:51–19:15): Shifting networking from transactional to relational. Gathering information via conversations is research; your local librarian is an underestimated networking resource!
• Making Networking Accessible (15:34–18:37): Every casual interaction can be networking; research reframes the challenge for those who find networking daunting.
  • Notable Advice:
    “If you call it 'research' instead of 'networking,' it might not seem so daunting.” — Tammy (18:34)
  • Pro Tip: Always offer to help the other person at the end of a networking conversation; be memorable for generosity.

5. Blind Blaming: Internal vs. External Barriers

• Defining Blind Blaming (20:49–22:20): Kevin explains “blind blaming”—misdiagnosing problems, sometimes blaming externalities (like bosses or industry) for dissatisfaction, when the root may be internal (mindset, clarity).
  • Personal Example: Kevin’s childhood vision problem and misplaced blame (21:35)
• Tammy’s Take (22:20–25:05): It’s both external and internal. Don't conflate a misaligned organizational culture with a personal failing or wrong career choice. The clarity comes from attuning to what truly matters to you now.
  • Notable Insight:
    “They misunderstand what's not fitting, or they start to put it on themselves and think, oh, I don't fit in here. What's wrong with me? And then they have trouble navigating the disconnect.” — Tammy (24:23)

6. Revealing the Real Barrier: A Case Study

• Coaching Story (25:14–28:32): Tammy’s client, a top-performing software engineer, struggles after promotion to management. The issue isn't technical skill but fit for managing people; ultimately finds satisfaction in returning to an individual contributor role.
  • Lesson: Sometimes the real barrier is expectations misaligned with strengths and interests.

7. Biggest Blind Spot in Career Shifts

• Attachment to “Stability” & Sacrificing Satisfaction (30:01–33:37): Many are stuck due to perceived financial or familial obligations and have internalized the idea that “a good job” means security, not happiness. This is often based on generational messaging.
  • Notable Quote:
    “There's a point where it starts to really take its toll on them and their health and their family lives. And you start to think, really, is it worth it?” — Tammy (32:03)

8. Reframing Rejection & Navigating Setbacks

• Dealing with Rejection (36:48–39:21): Ageism, setbacks, and staying motivated during career changes. Tammy’s reframing: Setbacks are signals to adapt your approach—have your “board of directors” or support system and keep learning.
  • Advice: Seek community and mentorship; don’t get isolated during transitions.

9. Finding True Fulfillment in Work

• Discovery Process (39:21–43:17): Tammy’s multi-pronged method:
  • Make a list of people to talk to and learn about their work/lives.
  • Notice internal sparks of interest during these conversations.
  • Look at job ads for recurring, appealing keywords (not to apply, but for inspiration).
  • Ask former colleagues for feedback on when you thrived.
  • Use alumni or library resources; seek patterns, not one-off answers.
  • Notable Quote:
    “When we get feedback from other people about what we are like to work with, it starts to make us realize, oh, yeah, I did like that project or I did bring that to the table.” — Tammy (41:54)

10. The Value of Coaching in Career & Beyond

• Importance of Coaches (43:17–43:46): Both host and guest stress that professional coaches and mastermind groups are invaluable for all levels of success.
• Personal Development Investments (43:55–44:49): Tammy shares that her coaching training not only shaped her career, but improved parenting and all relationships.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Tammy: “Sometimes we're more comfortable with our discomfort than making ourselves uncomfortable and making a change.” (01:16, 07:12)
• Kevin: “Courage means doing it scared.” (09:38)
• Tammy: “Your network is your net worth... but if you call it 'research' instead of 'networking,' it might not seem so daunting.” (14:52, 18:34)
• Tammy: “You're not starting all over again...of course you bring some of that with you.” (14:06)
• Tammy: “There's a point where it starts to really take its toll on them and their health and their family lives. And you start to think, really, is it worth it?” (32:03)
• Tammy: “There's no other Tammy Guler Loeb in the world, so I'm pretty easy to find.” (45:15)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Tammy’s Journey to Coaching: 02:25–05:00
• Book Inspiration & Fear: 05:07–09:38
• Redefining Success / Midlife Career Change: 10:17–14:39
• Networking & Research: 14:51–19:15
• Blind Blaming Defined & Internal/External Barriers: 20:49–25:05
• Transformative Coaching Story: 25:14–28:32
• Biggest Blind Spot: 30:01–33:37
• Reframing Rejection: 36:48–39:21
• How to Discover Fulfilling Work: 39:21–43:17
• Coaching & Self-Investment: 43:17–44:49
• Where to Find Tammy: 45:13–45:30

Actionable Takeaways

• Recognize when fear is simply a signpost to your potential, not a wall.
• Redefine “networking” as relationship-building and information-gathering.
• If you feel stuck, seek clarity on what truly matters to you now—not just stability.
• Treat “setbacks” as opportunities to refine your approach, not reasons to quit.
• Seek feedback from your network to uncover what you bring to the table.
• Invest in coaching or a mastermind group; even the most successful leaders do.

Resources & Further Connection

• Tammy’s Website: tammygoolerloeb.com
• LinkedIn: Search "Tammy Gooler Loeb"—she’s the only one!

Tone

Conversational, encouraging, and direct—both host and guest are passionate about practical steps, mindset shifts, and authentic career satisfaction over empty success.

“Why can't work be a pleasurable part of your life as other things are? Why is it so separate?”
— Tammy Gooler Loeb (33:38)