Beyond Blind Blaming — Ep. “How to Own the Room When You Speak: Master Public Speaking and Command Attention”

Host: Kevin D. St.Clergy
Guest: Robyn Hatcher, Communication Expert, Speaker, Author
Date: September 9, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Kevin D. St.Clergy sits down with Robyn Hatcher—an executive coach and sought-after communications strategist—to explore public speaking, the hidden mindset obstacles that derail high-achievers, and how to truly “own the room” when you speak. Through candid stories, sharp insights, and actionable frameworks, they unpack the links between stage presence, authenticity, and personal transformation.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Hidden Value Behind Speaking

• Adding Value, Not Just Sounding Smart
  Robyn opens by challenging an all-too-common misconception: "So many times we just think that we have to sound smart, but what we have to do really is we have to add value to somebody's life. Otherwise, just why are you talking?" [00:00-00:08]
• Every conversation is a presentation—a core belief in Robyn’s teaching.

2. Robyn’s Journey: From Acting to Communication Expert

• Origin Story
  • Years as a New York actor—"being a pebble on the beach."
  • Pivot: Teaching ESL revealed that people’s biggest block wasn’t technical, but confidence and application.
  • Developed a public speaking course, falling “in love with the beauty of public speaking and communicating.” [02:23-03:47]
• Lesson: Effective communication is less about technique and more about connection and purpose.

3. Personal Experience: Communication in Healthcare

• The Two Audiologists: A Tale of Empathy
  • The first audiologist used only facts and data, leaving Robyn feeling unseen.
  • The second built rapport, acknowledged her hesitance, and validated her stress, which led Robyn to embrace hearing aids.
  • “What it did is it made me feel seen, it made me feel validated, and it created a why that I didn't even know that I had.” [05:31]

4. The “Four V’s” of Communication

• Common Wisdom vs. Robyn’s Perspective
  • Typical: Vocal, Visual, Verbal.
  • Robyn’s addition: Value.
  • "What value are you bringing to the conversation? And what values do you have internally that you want to express?" [09:14]
  • Her guiding question: “Why are you talking?” [09:11]

5. Personality, Communication Styles & “Actor Types”

• DISC Profiles and Robyn’s Actor Typologies
  • Knowing your type is crucial; most assume others think and speak as they do. [10:44]
  • Four primary "actor types" (mapping to DISC):
    • Hero: Charismatic, big-picture, craves attention.
    • Buddy: Supportive, harmony-driven, craves connection.
    • Whiz Kid: Analytical/data-driven, risks being seen as cold or distant.
    • Superhero: Intense, driven, sometimes oblivious to others’ needs.
  • Misunderstanding these dynamics leads to friction and “drama” in workplaces and teams.
  • "You walk into a room... as a D... and you face somebody who is more of a Buddy... If the Buddy... is going through that, they're not getting their work done. They're obsessing over why I'm not being liked and what's wrong with me." [11:29]

6. The “Blame Loop” and Limits of Perspective

• Kevin introduces the “blame loop”: personal filters make some solutions literally invisible, reinforcing cycles of frustration.
• Robyn echoes: “People won’t hear what you say until you see and validate who they are.” [17:05]

7. Scripts vs. Spontaneity

• To Script or Not?
  • Robyn has a nuanced view:
    • Scripts provide structure—but can rob a speaker of presence and authenticity if overused.
    • Best: “Know what you’re talking about, but don’t be married to [the script].” [18:08]
• Fear of Coming Across as Inauthentic
  • Kevin’s struggle: “I never wanted to be one of those self-adulating douchebags on stage.” [20:00]
  • Robyn recounts a client with hearing loss who “cannot get to that level yet”—fear of being too loud or expressive because of physical or emotional restrictions. [20:27]

8. Structuring Your Message

• The Three-Act Model for Conversations
  • Setup (grab attention—think "teaser" from soap operas)
  • Act 2: Develop your content, keep engagement high
  • Conclusion: Wrap with a callback to the beginning—close the loop.
  • Applies to everything from speeches to “difficult conversations.” [21:59]
• LOVE Conversations (framework for tough talks):
  • Listen, Understand, Validate, Explore/Express [24:07]
  • “That framework can work on almost anybody. When you make a steak… it's got to be tenderized. The listening, the showing that you understand, and you validating them is like meat tenderizer.” [25:00]

9. The PowerPoint Debate

• Robyn defends PowerPoint—when used to serve the audience (“not the culprit, it’s the host’s use!” [26:41])
  • “Blaming PowerPoint for a bad presentation is like blaming the dining room table for a bad dinner party.” [26:41 & 28:23]
  • Visuals help different types of audience members connect and retain.

10. The Role (and Art) of Stories

• Stories create connection—the “Vulcan mind meld” effect; entire brain is engaged during storytelling. [31:57]
• Critical tip: Only tell the parts of a story that are relevant to your message—the art is knowing what to leave out.
  • “The biggest mistakes... people want to tell the entire story... Tell the part of the story that is relevant for the point.” [32:56]

11. The Golden Buddha Story

• Robyn’s favorite metaphor:
  • The gold covered in clay represents the “value within” each person, often hidden by layers of mindset, environment, or fear.
  • “Our life journey... is to help [ourselves] chip away at that clay and reveal the gold that’s always inside of you. My keynote, Own It While You Hone It, is all about that—owning the gold that’s already inside, while you continue to make improvements.” [34:46-36:50]

12. Awareness, Blind Spots, and Transformation

• Most challenges in communication are misdiagnosed:
  • Kevin’s baseball story: Everyone blamed attitude or technique; the real problem was undiagnosed vision loss. [28:45]
  • Robyn’s client: A brilliant leader, seen as abrasive—true cause was internal shame/fear from past sports experiences, not personality defect. [38:36]
• The RCD Method: Reflect, Connect, Decide—Kevin’s blueprint for breaking the “blame loop.” [41:00-42:37]

13. Lifelong Learning and Implementation

• Robyn’s learning formula: Daily podcasts (Adam Grant, Hidden Brain), reading, masterminds—but stresses the challenge and importance of implementing new knowledge. [43:04]
• Kevin’s “calendar trick”: Scheduling time post-event or post-read to process and implement ideas is his secret.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Value:
  • "Why are you talking?" — Robyn Hatcher [09:11]
• On Blind Blaming:
  • “You start fixing the wrong problem perfectly.” — Kevin D. St.Clergy [13:07]
• On Communication Styles:
  • “People won’t hear what you say until you see and validate who they are.” — Robyn Hatcher [17:05]
• On Scripting:
  • “You can write it and then you need to forget it.” — Robyn Hatcher [18:08]
• On Presentation Tools:
  • “Blaming PowerPoint for a bad presentation is like blaming the dining room table for a bad dinner party.” — Robyn Hatcher [26:41, 28:23]
• On Stories:
  • “[Storytelling] is the one time that your entire brain is engaged...” — Robyn Hatcher [31:57]
• On Hidden Value:
  • “We all have this gold hidden inside of us, and oftentimes it's covered in clay... Our life journey... is to help chip away at that clay.” — Robyn Hatcher [36:50]
• On Learning:
  • “The most important part is to implement stuff, which is one of my weakest areas, but I'm getting there.” — Robyn Hatcher [43:37]

Notable Timestamps

• 00:00–00:08 — Opening wisdom: “Add value, or why are you talking?”
• 02:23–03:47 — Robyn’s path: From acting to coaching.
• 05:31 — Old-school vs. new-school communication in healthcare.
• 09:14 — The Fourth V: Value.
• 11:29–13:47 — Actor types and miscommunication drama.
• 17:05 — Golden quote on validation.
• 18:08–19:27 — The script debate: structure vs. presence.
• 21:59–24:07 — The three-act structure and LOVE conversations.
• 26:41, 28:23 — PowerPoint and “blaming the table.”
• 31:57–34:31 — Storytelling science and strategy.
• 34:46–36:50 — The Golden Buddha metaphor.
• 38:36–40:47 — Case study: when the real root cause is hidden.
• 41:00–42:37 — The RCD (Reflect, Connect, Decide) method explained.
• 43:04–44:07 — Learning routines and scheduling for effective growth.

How to Connect with Robyn Hatcher

• LinkedIn: Robyn Hatcher
• Email: robin@peakectera.com
• Website: robinhatcher.com

Final Takeaways

• Every conversation presents an opportunity to connect, influence, and add value—not just perform. Know your intention.
• Effective communication is about meeting others where they are, understanding their style, and validating their perspective.
• Most “problems” are misdiagnosed—look beyond the obvious, and don’t “blind blame.”
• Stories and structure are powerful, but presence and authenticity are non-negotiable.
• Lifelong learning only counts when paired with implementation.

Episode Rating: Essential for coaches, leaders, and anyone seeking to communicate with impact—whether on a stage, in the boardroom, or around the dinner table.