Beyond Blind Blaming: The Science of Well-being with Stephanie Harrison
Release Date: June 24, 2025
In this enlightening episode of "Beyond Blind Blaming," host Kevin D. St.Clergy engages in a profound discussion with Stephanie Harrison, creator of the New Happy philosophy and an expert in the science of well-being. The conversation delves deep into the hidden mindset blocks that prevent individuals, especially high-achievers, from attaining lasting happiness and success.
Introduction to Stephanie Harrison and Her Journey
Stephanie Harrison begins by sharing her personal journey from unhappiness to becoming a beacon of positive psychology. Her quest to understand well-being was driven by her own struggles, leading her to explore scientific research and bridge the gap between academic insights and everyday applications.
"This experience and journey came out of my own personal unhappiness... There's such a misunderstanding about motivation in our culture... being cruel to yourself will motivate you to do more and achieve more. But the research shows that in fact, it prevents you from being able to reach your full potential."
— Stephanie Harrison [00:18]
Understanding Positive Psychology
The discussion transitions to Positive Psychology, a field initially pioneered by Martin Seligman. Unlike traditional psychology, which focuses primarily on alleviating suffering, Positive Psychology emphasizes building lives of meaning, purpose, and fulfillment.
"Positive psychology focuses on how to help people to experience greater flourishing in their lives."
— Stephanie Harrison [03:17]
Launching the New Happy Philosophy
Stephanie recounts the humble beginnings of the New Happy philosophy, which started as a simple newsletter in 2018. Over three years, it evolved into a full-fledged initiative aimed at disseminating scientific well-being strategies to millions globally.
"It was a humble newsletter that I started that I wrote once a week... When I left Thrive in 2020, I started the New Happy then, and that's been my primary focus for the last four years now."
— Stephanie Harrison [04:17]
The Happiness Myth and Redefining Happiness
A significant portion of the conversation centers around the Happiness Myth, Stephanie's production that challenges culturally ingrained notions of happiness. She argues that society often equates happiness with perfection, relentless achievement, and isolation—concepts that lead to frustration and diminished well-being.
"Many of us have been conditioned into an idea of happiness that comes from our culture and the world around us... perfection, trying to make yourself perfect and optimize yourself... isolation, being alone and being separate from other people."
— Stephanie Harrison [07:17]
Stephanie emphasizes that true happiness isn't about eliminating problems or chasing an ever-elusive perfect state but rather embracing one's current state and engaging deeply with meaningful activities.
"Real happiness, I think, is less about... trying to fix it, but more about embracing all that you have and finding ways to engage more in the things that matter to you."
— Stephanie Harrison [11:16]
Responsibility and External Factors in Happiness
The dialogue explores the balance between personal responsibility for happiness and the influence of external factors. Stephanie introduces the concept of the circle of responsibility, highlighting that while individuals can control their responses and choices, external circumstances also play a role.
"Imagine it as a permeable boundary where those things influence you and affect you... identify what it is that is within their control and what can be changed."
— Stephanie Harrison [12:25]
Four Steps to Happiness
Stephanie outlines four key steps to achieving lasting happiness:
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Spotting and Identifying Old Happy: Recognizing societal misconceptions about happiness that hinder genuine well-being.
"The first is to learn to spot and identify old happy... we have to clear the debris on the road."
— Stephanie Harrison [18:30] -
Reevaluating the Concept of Happiness: Pausing to reconsider what true happiness means beyond cultural definitions.
"Take a pause and really reconsider how we think about happiness... those experiences that really bring us joy."
— Stephanie Harrison [18:30] -
Discovering Unique Gifts: Identifying personal strengths and passions that align with one's true self.
"Discover our unique gifts... feel alive, to feel like we're doing something that's aligned with our... true selves."
— Stephanie Harrison [18:30] -
Expressing Gifts in Service to Others: Using one's talents to contribute to the community, fostering meaningful connections.
"Find ways to express those gifts in service of other people... experience of being yourself and sharing yourself with other people."
— Stephanie Harrison [18:30]
Happiness and Its Impact on Work and Relationships
Stephanie elaborates on the connection between happiness and success in various life domains. She cites studies indicating that happier individuals are better performers at work, less prone to burnout, more creative, and resilient. Moreover, happiness enriches personal relationships, making individuals more generous, present, and capable of nurturing strong, lasting bonds.
"Happier people tend to be better performers in the workplace... happier in the form of a positive emotion has all of these incredible benefits to your relationships as well."
— Stephanie Harrison [19:48]
Handling Unhappy Individuals in Personal and Professional Settings
Addressing challenges in managing or supporting unhappy individuals, Stephanie recommends a compassionate approach rooted in Nonviolent Communication, pioneered by Marshall Rosenberg. She suggests identifying and addressing unmet needs that may be causing persistent negativity.
"Any negative emotions are the result of an unmet need... Once you know about what their unmet needs are, then you can meet them."
— Stephanie Harrison [24:18]
Marketing and Building the New Happy Philosophy
Transitioning to business aspects, Stephanie shares insights into building and marketing the New Happy philosophy. Emphasizing the importance of meeting people's needs and providing valuable content, she highlights the role of service-oriented marketing in attracting and engaging a large audience without massive financial resources.
"Meeting people's needs and through really being mindful about how you're describing yourself... being there for them, giving them a helping hand."
— Stephanie Harrison [26:15]
Continual Personal Growth and Development
In discussing personal growth, Stephanie reveals her commitment to lifelong learning through reading scientific journals, embracing new challenges like learning the piano, and engaging with supportive communities. This dedication not only fuels her professional endeavors but also enriches her personal well-being.
"I love to read. I basically spend every night just reading scientific journals and studies... I love to try new things... being in communities with people who help you to see things about yourself."
— Stephanie Harrison [34:28]
Final Thoughts: Moving Beyond Blind Blaming
As the episode concludes, both speakers reflect on the concept of blind blaming—the tendency to attribute unhappiness to external factors without addressing underlying issues like personal happiness. They emphasize the transformative potential of recognizing and addressing true sources of dissatisfaction to foster personal growth and well-being.
"A lot of people don't realize what's really going on and they start climbing the wrong mountain... You're not failing at solving your problems, you're succeeding at solving the wrong problems perfectly."
— Kevin Saint Clergy [30:16]
"Happiness... it is like the hidden part of the iceberg... if that is the kind of driving force of human beings, then it has an impact on all of the choices that we make."
— Stephanie Harrison [28:56]
Connecting with Stephanie Harrison
For those interested in exploring the New Happy philosophy further or seeking to engage with Stephanie Harrison for speaking engagements, she can be reached at reach out@thenewhappy.com. Her comprehensive resources, including the New Happy newsletter, daily podcast, and educational materials, provide accessible pathways to cultivating lasting happiness and well-being.
This episode serves as a compelling exploration of the intricate relationship between happiness, personal responsibility, and societal influences. Stephanie Harrison's insights offer actionable strategies for individuals seeking to transcend superficial notions of happiness and achieve a more profound, sustainable sense of well-being.