← Beyond Blind Blaming
Beyond Blind Blaming
Unlocking Entrepreneurial Focus – Events, ADHD, and Beating Burnout | Stephanie Scheller
00:46:03
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- [00:00]
Stephanie Scheller
I don't like going to a lot of like the self help personal growth events. Like, I always hate the ones where like one, the music's too loud, you run into the room, you're exhausted by lunchtime, you've no clue what's happening. For the rest of the days, you're overwhelmed. And then like, you get back three days later and now you have a big long to do list of all the stuff you missed while you were there and what you got. And so I was like, if I'm going to do events, I want to do them in a way I appreciate, like what I want. And so that was where we started.
- [00:28]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Today I'm joined by Stephanie Scheller. Stephanie has been called the ADA Event Alchemist and she's earned that title. She is the founder of Grow Disrupt, a company built on a simple idea. What if the event itself was the product, not a sales pitch for something else? She's internationally known for understanding how the ADHD entrepreneurial brain focuses and for translating academic research into practical application that improves focus, motivation and follow through. She doesn't just talk about how the brain works, she designs around it.
- [00:59]
Stephanie Scheller
There's always something going on, you know, between two years that makes doing the thing hard. We have to get, we have to break through that. But then what I also learned is just having the breakthrough is rarely enough on its own. Like, you have to have some sort of structure and support.
- [01:30]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Welcome to Beyond Blind Blaming. This is the place where we explore how easily hidden truths can hold us back, trapping us in cycles of frustration and blame, often without even realizing what's truly stopping us. Each week, I'm joined by experts and professionals who share their journey of taking back control of their story, overcoming hidden challenges, and discover how to stop blind blaming from dictating their outcomes. The insights you're about to gain will help you see beyond your current limitations, find the courage to seek new perspectives, and ultimately live a life that's both purposeful and powerful. So if you're ready to break free from blind blaming and discover what's possible, you'll definitely want to listen to our next guest. I'm your host, Kevin Saint Clergy, and today I'm joined by Stephanie Scheller. Stephanie has been called the ADHD Event Alchemist and she's earned that title. She is the founder of Grow Disrupt, a company built on a simple idea. What if the event itself was the product, not a sales pitch for something else? She's internationally known for understanding how the ADHD entrepreneurial brain focuses and for translating academic Research into practical application that improves focus, motivation and follow through. She doesn't just talk about how the brain works, she designs around it. From lighting and food to a custom coffee blend and a scent developed to support attention and memory. And I just went through one of her courses, I was a speaker at one of her events and it was incredible the things that they do. Her aim is very simple. Help entrepreneurs break through what's holding them back and build support structures that survive contact with real life. She's a three times best selling author of marketing and performance books, a fiction writer, a creative producer, and a classically trained violinist. Stephanie, welcome to the show.
- [03:08]
Stephanie Scheller
Thank you. I'm super excited. First of all, I absolutely adored having you at the Gray retreat in January. You were one learned so much and then two, you were just like to be people that are actually good to hang out with and you're that. So I'm actually really excited to get to hang out again. So thank you for having me.
- [03:25]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Yeah, I had a great time and I learned a lot and I enjoyed connecting with other speakers and we even got some new clients out of it. So thank you for having me.
- [03:33]
Stephanie Scheller
Nice. Oh, I love hearing that. That makes me so happy. We have a great group of people there, so I love that.
- [03:38]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Well, let's start with your journey. What led you to focus on helping entrepreneurial scale strategically rather than just hustle harder? And it sounds like you kind of focus on ADHD entrepreneurs.
- [03:47]
Stephanie Scheller
Yeah, the ADHD entrepreneur thing was fully an accident. So we were, we started doing the events primarily because I'd built a sales training practice and it was doing very well. We're one of the largest and most active practices in Central Texas. And I just had this like, wake up, aha moment realized I didn't want to be a sales trainer and so I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do and started doing events. But I don't like going to a lot of like the self help personal growth events. Like I always hate the ones where like one, the music's too loud, you run into the room, you're exhausted by lunchtime, you've no clue what's happening for the rest of the days you're overwhelmed. And then like you get back three days later and now you have a big long to do list of all the stuff you missed while you were there and what you got. And so I was like, if I'm going to do events, I want to do them in a way I appreciate like what I want. And so that was where we started. And in Pursuit of. Let's build an event that Stephanie actually wants to participate in. We accidentally built it for my adhd. And so when we realized that was the case, then we kind of went, well, what if we do this on purpose? And that kind of led me down to, okay, let's start reading academic studies on what happens in the ADHD brain and what's the neurobiology and what's happening here. Wait a second. Cayenne pepper helps increase memory and retention. Okay, how do we use this without, like, just shoving a spoonful of cayenne pepper in people's faces when they walk into the room at our events? And then it, you know, it evolved from there. So, yeah, it's become the. The alchemist thing. We were brainstorming, like, what is it that I do? I was like, I give people custom scents and custom coffee blends and all of these crazy things. They're like, you're like an alchemist. I was like, I can go with that, so.
- [05:32]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Well, I love the scent. In fact, I've been spraying in my office, so it's very similar to what I got from another little spray thingy that I keep in here. So love that. Great. Definitely puts you in a different mood.
- [05:42]
Stephanie Scheller
Yes, it really does. I. You know, we don't sell the scent because part of the reason the scent is so effective is. Is the. The brain training that we do when people are on site at the events. But I've had so many people who are like, would you please sell this? Like, I would buy it online. And I'm like, we may tackle that eventually, but I. I have a hard time with that.
- [06:02]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Well, I mean, it is just, you know, it is a recurring revenue model for that. If people like it enough, it could be just a recurring purchase. Just a. Just a thought.
- [06:12]
Stephanie Scheller
That is, you know, that is true. I have to keep playing with that one.
- [06:16]
Kevin Saint Clergy
But I buy it just so you know. Well, so I gotta tell you, the looks I got from people when I said, and please, listeners, I'm not making fun of ADHD people. I just got the funniest looks, and people started laughing, and I'm like, no, I'm serious. It's awesome. It was one of my favorite events I've ever done. The people in there were so cool. And. But in the Mastermind, there was a car that backfired, and everybody stood up and went to the window, and it was really hard to get people back to the table. I was like. I was like, oh, right, Here we are.
- [06:48]
Stephanie Scheller
It is funny because especially with what we do right. People feel like, oh, I can take the masks down. Right. Like, instead of me sitting here and, like, arguing with my brain internally about, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look, don't look. We're just like, okay, just go look for a second. Get it out. Okay, now come back. Let's. Let's revoke. And it. It's interesting. I saw it post on LinkedIn this morning, and someone was talking about how, like, when I stopped fighting my own neurobiology, I started having more capacity to do things that I needed to do. And I was like, that's exactly. That's. I love that. That's exactly what it is. So. Yes. But it's hysterical every time. I love our group.
- [07:26]
Kevin Saint Clergy
It was fun. So, well, as you got into this, what patterns did you start to notice in business owners that made you realize growth isn't about just revenue, it's about structure and mindset growth as well.
- [07:36]
Stephanie Scheller
Yeah. So in my, like, trying to figure out, I always joke, what do I want to be when I grow up? Like that. That messy period where I was like, oh, I don't think I want to be a sales trainer. What do I want to do? Because I am. I will never be able to go back to working for someone else again. So clearly, I needed to be a business owner. I did some. Some coaching and consulting. I had people who were asking for it and along marketing lines, since that was my background. And then, you know, that always ended up leading to business, like, coaching, consulting as a whole. And that was where I started to first of all realized, I am not a coach. I don't want to be a coach. That is not my happy place. I don't mind those conversations every so often, but when that becomes the majority of my work week, I have a hard time. And that was really where I started to realize that, like, okay, you know, we talk, especially with our events, we're revolving, return to our roots with this breaking glass and the breakthrough and then the structure. And I. One of the things I always got frustrated with coaching was that people wouldn't do the stuff that, like, I'm looking at their business going, this is gonna fix it, and then they don't do it. And that was where I started to realize, okay, we have to have. There's always something going on, you know, between two years that makes doing the thing hard. We have to get. We have to break through that. But then what I also learned is just having the breakthrough is rarely enough on its own. Like, you have to have some sort of structure and support. And so it was really just working with, you know, several hundred small business owners over, I guess, a couple of years and realizing, okay, this is, you know, it's not just a matter of giving them the to do. It's not just a matter of giving them the mindset. Like, we have to have both pieces to it. And then I just found a way that I like doing it with the events instead of through coaching.
- [09:31]
Kevin Saint Clergy
I love it. Yeah, I love it. Well, let's. Let's switch to blind blaming because I know you brought your book if you want to show everybody. Thanks for being prepared. I got the most wonderful book.
- [09:40]
Stephanie Scheller
Well, it just lives on my desk now, so.
- [09:42]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Oh, cool. Well, there's somebody in the conference and I'm going blank on her name because we've started getting a lot of reviews on Amazon. She took a picture of your book that we custom did for you, the custom label. And you can see the grow retreat label on her picture in. In the review. It was really cool.
- [09:57]
Stephanie Scheller
This is my. The fact that we got like the, the icon on the back here. This is my absolute favorite part. I feel bad for everyone who doesn't get this copy of the book because I think it's much pretty.
- [10:08]
Kevin Saint Clergy
It definitely adds some flair to it and some color.
- [10:10]
Stephanie Scheller
Yes, yes. It's awesome.
- [10:12]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Well, in that adhd entrepreneurial world. And the interesting thing too is as I've gone around, told people about your conference and they should look at it for next year, I keep hearing, I guess I feel. I feel like my business created my adhd. Do you ever get that? I know you work with legitimate adhd. I've been diagnosed customers. But that's a couple of comments that I felt were interesting. I could. I added to the, to the show notes because I want to talk to you about it. Any comments there?
- [10:35]
Stephanie Scheller
Absolutely. So there's a few things to think through here and there's pro. There's two sides to this conversation. So let's address the one of like, oh, the, you know, created my adhd because there is this idea and we get these comments all the time on like our social media where someone's like, oh, well, we're all a little adhd. And, and, you know, my answer is like, okay, yeah, we all sneeze every so often. But like, if you're sneezing every few minutes and you're blowing your nose and your throat hurts and you're kind of lethargic and tired, you might be sick at that point, right? Like, yes, we all forget our keys every so often. But if you are forgetting your keys regularly and you have these other symptoms might not be everyone's. You know, everyone has the thing that an ADHD brain does sometimes, but not everyone has it all the time. And so there is that piece to keep in mind, right, That a lot of times people like, oh, everyone's adhd. No, not everyone's adhd. But one of the things I do see frequently is so we know that ADHD individuals are like, I want to say five, I think it was five times here, three or five times more likely to start a business than a neuron, normal brain. And a large part of that is because a lot of what entrepreneurship requires from someone, our brains are really well wired for that. We are wired for connecting the dots. We are wired for keeping track of multiple things at once. We are wired for risk taking. Like, we're wired for a lot of things that entrepreneurship really does demand. And where I think a lot of people get this idea that, oh, the business caused my ADHD is actually that when we had corporate jobs or, or we had school or we had hope, we had all of these external structures and systems that gave us support for that ADHD to not be as a parent or that pushed us to mask. And when we say, when we talk about masking with adhd, it's like this thing where, like, your brain says or does something and you automatically, like, you have this moment where your brain goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, no, we don't do that. That's not like, it's the conscious. Right. That most people would think of there. But with the ADHD brain, it tends to happen a lot more frequently. You're like, oh, I should do this thing. And your brain kind of catches up a second later. It's like, hold on. So what happens is we had all these things that made it a lot easier. We were required to mask a lot more. We had external structures supporting us. And when we become an entrepreneur, we don't have those. Not as much. We get to be in charge, we get to be in control. We get to unmask, we get to take all these things. And so a lot of times where people are like, oh, my God, my adh, my business created my adhd, it's like, or did it just give you permission to be who you've been this whole time? And so I think, I think I know that's two sides and I know I kind of monologued here, but, like, no, it's good. I think that's really Important to keep in mind. Right. Because I get that too, from people. Ah. I didn't used to have it. Now I do, right?
- [13:32]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Not really.
- [13:33]
Stephanie Scheller
Yeah, you might have always had it or it might have gotten worse. Because hormones do impact your adhd. And as we age, hormones change in the body. So that's possible, too.
- [13:44]
Kevin Saint Clergy
I'm glad you said that, because that's actually in my book. That was a good lesson for me. And a few people that I worked very closely with in our mastermind group said to change their lives when they got their testosterone fixed. And these were both women.
- [13:55]
Stephanie Scheller
It's really incredible. A lot of people don't think about that. And I will say, I always kind of. I think we do this with, like, blind blaming mindset. Anything that's not, like, physical, we tend to undermine or underplay its impact, I think. And so anything like hormones, right? Like, we automatically assume whatever we're living with, because we live with it all the time. Everyone else is living with the same thing. And short answer, they're not. And your hormones can really, really like the testosterone thing, the estrogen thing. It wasn't really till relatively recently that I started, like, really studying this. Cause I kept seeing people talk about, oh, your hormones impact your adhd. And I was. My con. Even knowing what I know, like, my automatic instinct was like, really? Y'? All, Come on. And then I started looking into it and I was like, dagnabbit, I should have paid attention sooner. Cause it really does make a difference.
- [14:56]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Well, I'm glad you brought up blind blaming. It's almost like we're in sync because I never share my questions before these. So it's always cool when you bring it up at the right time. So in that ADHD entrepreneurial world, blind blaming can look like blaming the market, the economy, software, even team members, and especially themselves. How do you see blind blaming showing up most often in those ADHD business owners?
- [15:18]
Stephanie Scheller
I think, and knowing that everyone is different. So I'm going to speak in generalities here, but I think where it shows up most often with ADHDers is blaming yourself.
- [15:27]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Oh.
- [15:28]
Stephanie Scheller
So there's a lot that goes on inside the ADHD brain. One of the things is that because the ADHD brain tends to fire really, really fast, we have a 10 tendency to fall into these imposter syndrome spirals a little bit more to fall into anxiety spirals. Our brain just starts going and going, and it's connected six dots and everyone else is still on dot number one. Those dots aren't always, like, connected to anyone else. But you know, that's what our brain did there. And so what it leads to is a tendency to over fixate on self. And so I think we blind blame ourselves the most. And it's, it's been kind of funny. I'm going through, I'm going through blind blaming again. I'm using the workbook again. I went through it, I think. Was it last year when you sent me the early copy of the book?
- [16:17]
Kevin Saint Clergy
It's been about a year. With the other cover?
- [16:20]
Stephanie Scheller
Yeah, yeah, with the early cover. So that one is down by my bed. This one is up in my office. Because this one is a nicer looking one.
- [16:27]
Kevin Saint Clergy
This one's like, it's kind of definitely better.
- [16:30]
Stephanie Scheller
Um, but so I went through it then. I went through it prepping for the grow retreat and then I'm going through it again now. And it's really been interesting to watch how there is something that I've been doing with my team that has created some challenges and some issues. Right. But I have spent the past like five years trying to overcorrect on communication to my team and creating more issues and blaming myself for not communicating well and not talking well and not giving them information. And what I realized is it's, it's, it is a communication issue. Ish. But instead of Stephanie, like, like I've reached. I almost made it worse by like pulling back and now I reached a point where like, I don't tell the team anything until I have it all figured out. And then I like try and type out all of the details all at once for them. And I'm realizing, like, it is a communication issue, I should bring them in while we're figuring out the details instead of waiting until the end when I am going to start forgetting things. And so, But I've spent like all this time sitting here being like, ah, I just need to send more detailed instructions. I'm just not communicating clearly enough at the end, ah, to stop. And it's just. So I was actually thinking about that this morning as I was working through some of the exercises and I was like, well, this is fascinating that I'm gonna go on the recording with Kevin today.
- [17:39]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Well, I'm glad you're going through the book again and I'm glad you're doing the exercise. That's the one surprise comment that I've gotten from a lot of people. In fact, I just got one the other day that's. It's always humbling when you get nice testimonials, but it's really good to Hear you going through the exercises again. Because I had that the other day. A real estate agent is. She's like, listen, you're the only book I've ever gone back and read again and did the exercises and the second time's even better. And then while I was doing that, I was listening to it on the. I mean, she went all in. She was doing the exercise in the book, rereading it, then she was listening to it on the treadmill and she's like, I finally figured out what my big problem was. And she went into it and I was like, wow, great job.
- [18:16]
Stephanie Scheller
I. I really do think I have a few books that I have. So I have one shelf in my office that is my reread shelf. So these are books that like, I've read that I'm like, okay, I think this is the kind of book that I, I need to reread every so often because I'm always gonna get something new out of it. And I think this is one in large part because what's going on in our brains changes so, so much. Right? And so we're always going to be able to see things from a different perspective, from a different place because we're always moving. And so our viewpoint's gonna. So I feel like the exercises are gonna be fairly consistently applicable, but like, for a long time it's not necessarily just a one and done. I love that read.
- [18:59]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Well, I loved your reread shelf. That's a great idea. I do not have one of those. But there are books that I like beyond or like my own. Like I read my book like your own. I mean, I mean, yes. That's so awesome. Anyway, it's. I always think of that movie V for Vendetta. This is one of the things that held me back. I had a coach one time was like, why aren't you more like we're getting to this video strategy. And he's finally like, why aren't you more like the guy that I spoke to yesterday on like that live interview? You're so into it and you're doing this and I'm like, I just don't want to be that self adulating douchebag. And I have this vision of in that V for Vendetta, there's that really popular guy that's on TV and he's the total platform for pushing that agenda of that, that corrupt government. And he's in his shower and he's like watching himself and he's repeating himself. And I just never wanted to be that guy. And he's like, okay, first of all, just because you're going out and doing this, you're never going to be that guy. And I'm like. And he's like, you need to go back to that mindset shift that you teach other people to do. You're not a self adulating douchebag either, by the way. But yeah, that's what pops into my head that keeps me holding back from being myself on videos because I just never wanted to be that cocky, arrogant guy that watches his own videos in the shower and he's all proud of himself. So anyway.
- [20:13]
Stephanie Scheller
Oh my God, that's hysterical. I've not had that. I've not watched. My husband has a hard time. He's like, you don't watch any videos. I'm like, I'm sorry.
- [20:22]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Good thing. That's a good.
- [20:24]
Stephanie Scheller
But I, I have kind of the same thing where I'm always like, what? Like I. And I feel like that is such a turn off to people when you get to where you are so like over the top. But I did have someone say something and I don't know if you're your listeners or fans of Jesse Cole with the Savannah Bananas and everything they've accomplished, but he said something once in when he spoke at the GROW retreat in 2020. And at the time I, he, he shared this with me and then he said it again from the stage the next day and I wasn't sure that I agreed with him, but he said, who is your number one fan? And I was like, oh, well, I. And I started like creating a list. He's like, no, no, no, no, no. If you are not your number one fan, like that's a problem. You need to make sure you are your number one fan. And it was so hard for me for a long time because I was like, but shouldn't other people be bigger fans? Because I don't want to be that like, so stuck on myself. And it took me a while to get to the point where I was like, oh, it's not so much about like, am I going to sit here and like, can't stop talking about me? It's like, am I so excited about the things that we're doing and the pieces of it? And it just was, it was a really good shift for me and how I was looking at what we do to where I can get really excited and talk about our events and I still will catch myself. And I'm like, I'm sorry. I get really into this sometimes. I know it's so fun I like
- [21:47]
Kevin Saint Clergy
funny when you get feedback outside because I think that sometimes when we do things like that that you just described, at least my coach is telling me you self sabotage yourself. Like I would stop when I had recording time blocked out. I would schedule over it.
- [21:59]
Stephanie Scheller
Oh.
- [22:00]
Kevin Saint Clergy
And so like really.
- [22:02]
Stephanie Scheller
So I was thinking like you'd like, oh, wow.
- [22:04]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Well, even when I'm talking, I was very hesitant to talk about my success. And everybody was like, but Kevin, it gives you credibility and you don't do it. You know, there's certainly a way that you don't do it, you know, but you know, share the fact that you took 21 years to get your dream car and share the fact that you built a business and you went broke six times. Just be honest with people about your journey. And, and that's what we've been doing and it's been working really well. I'm getting a lot more comfortable. But you don't just come out and just say I'm awesome and I'm this. That's what I didn't want to be exact. Well, Kevin, well, that one I'll agree with. Yeah, you don't want to be that guy anyway, right? Well, when a business plateaus or struggles, how can leaders determine whether the issue is external or something internal? So you just. In their systems or strategies? So you just mentioned what we found too. So we have this thing called M3 mastery. That's our coaching program. Mindset, Margins, momentum and mindset's the first thing because we've always felt if you can grow the business owner who grows the business, our coaching programs are much more successful. So when you find people that, that have that internal struggle and they fix that, what happens next when they're, when they plateaued?
- [23:06]
Stephanie Scheller
Well, when you can find the internal struggle and you can fix that. It's funny, actually, I was just, I was just laughing. I was, I was like, look. Oh well, I listened to this really great guy talk in January and now I'm feeling like a little bit. But he, he, he talked about this was my notes from, from January. He talked about this thing called the RCD method. For those of you guys who are all. I know. But it was kind of. If this is like you can even see. I've referenced this page so much like the pages, it's literally been back. But it's like. So the idea for those of you guys, I guess, who don't. Kevin can probably describe this one better than I can, but the, it's this idea that you reflect like when you, when you Reach that plateau. First you reflect, then you connect with other people to get outside perspective. And then you have to decide and you have to like I don't know if I allowed to say the MFD on your podcast.
- [23:48]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Oh yeah, go for it.
- [23:49]
Stephanie Scheller
You have to make a fucking decision and then go. And I think that once you're able to actually get the breakthrough, I'm trying to think, we, we create, we created this really great verbiage the other day and now I'm trying to remember exactly what it is. But it's basically it was like breakthrough without structure goes nowhere. Structure without breakthrough will do the same thing, right? Once you have the breakthrough and you're able to give people, here is the steps, the structure that's going to survive contact with your real life. I think a couple of things happen. One, I agree with Yalls point that when the business owner is healthier, the business is healthy too, right? When the business owner is unhealthy, they will find ways to self sabotage the business. I think two things tend to happen. One, I think the business grows in a much more stable and healthy fashion where they are taking profits and paycheck and taking care of their people and they have cash in the bank to take. Like the business is healthy and stable. But I also see the business owners are a lot happier and it's not, I mean they're, they're healthier but like they're really the external, like they just are happier, they enjoy their life more. Which to me I think matters in a big way because like one of the points of being a business owner is to have that, like to be able to build the life you enjoy. And not necessarily like for me, I won't go work a corporate job because I don't want to deal with that ever again. That hassle, that headache.
- [25:12]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Me neither.
- [25:13]
Stephanie Scheller
Like that, that to me I love seeing that. I love seeing the business owners reach points where they are, they're better, they're happier, they're enjoying their life more. They're doing more than just the business. That's always one of my favorites. We see people a lot that when they start coming to our events and stuff, they're you know, their whole life revolves around the business. And then you know, a couple years in they're like, oh, and I started doing this like non business thing and is that okay? Am I, I'm like, yes, that's okay. Do the non business thing. Like that's life. Enjoy that. So I don't know if that was even remotely the answer. You were looking for there.
- [25:46]
Kevin Saint Clergy
No, it's perfect. It's a great discussion. You've always been great. Well, you call your company Grow Disrupt. What does disruption mean in today's business landscape?
- [25:54]
Stephanie Scheller
Ooh, all right, That's a good question. So we are continuing to move towards an increasingly. I don't want to say monotone, but industrialized, commercialized. Like, everything is very much becoming the same. I saw a video on YouTube the other day, and they were testing to see, like, they were ordering food from different restaurants that all order from the same food provider. And. And they were like, it's really interesting. You're getting the exact same mozzarella sticks here as you are here, like, in different parts of the country. And I think that disrupt part, like, we have so much of the sameness and we have so much that is just people are. Want that. That different, that, you know, variety is the spice of life is an old adage for a reason. Human beings crave that. We need that. I think disruption in today's landscape is how you keep your business in business. It is. And this doesn't mean you have to. Working with ADHD entrepreneurs, I get to say this one a lot. This doesn't mean you have to disrupt things for the sake of disrupting things. We do not need to rewrite the business model on Monday. Like, but you do need to do marketing that is different and that stands out and that disrupts and that breaks through. Right. You do need to have a business model and something about what you do that is different, that stands out, that creates that community, that connection point. Because right now, that is a huge piece of what people are craving. And I think as we continue to become more globalized, as AI continues to become a bigger thing, that's going to continue to be the thing. Right. We now have so much content going out, thanks to AI, that when you're creating stuff that is really, truly human, it really does make a big difference. And it goes over so much better. But it still has to be disruptive. It still has to stand out and be different.
- [27:40]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Well, that's the challenge. Purple Cow is an old book that I used to love.
- [27:43]
Stephanie Scheller
I. That was. That was actually the marketing book that got me into marketing. Like, it really started me that. Yeah, I love that book.
- [27:50]
Kevin Saint Clergy
I had a chance. Who wrote that? Was it Seth Godin?
- [27:53]
Stephanie Scheller
Seth Godin, Yeah.
- [27:54]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Yeah, I had a chance to get him on the podcast. I had to get a little bigger before he would do it, but. And I have no idea how old the guy is now, but I love his stuff. Every now and then I'll go, I'm actually going to create the reread shelf. That was my big takeaway from the interview. I always learned something from guests. The reread shelf, I think I'm going to create today and actually put in the bag of my video stuff. So, yeah, thank you for that.
- [28:16]
Stephanie Scheller
You are welcome. It is my. I've got enough. I think I have about 10 books on there now, so I don't go through them all every year anymore, but I do. I do probably go through about every other year still and reread some of those and they're iconic for me. I really. Yeah, yeah.
- [28:32]
Kevin Saint Clergy
I might even do a YouTube channel that's a. I might. I'll give you full credit. But yeah, I think I'll do a YouTube video on that one. So. What? Whatever. And I would love to have people comment on what they think the 10 bucks should be. So
- [28:45]
Stephanie Scheller
I like that.
- [28:47]
Kevin Saint Clergy
So speaking of that, since we're on that subject, what are your top three favorite books? You don't have to say mine. I'm not fishing for a compliment is my point. But honestly, what are your top three favorite business books of all time that you feel like made the biggest difference for you?
- [29:03]
Stephanie Scheller
Well, so we have already talked about blind blaming, so I'll call that one my freebie and go for three other ones. Well, thank you. Find you'd. Yellow Tux by Jessi Cole has been absolutely one of the biggest game changers for me. That's one of the ones that I just pulled off the shelf and I reread. And just sitting there rereading it, I was like, this is still one of my rereads. Essentialism by Greg McKeon is another one that I have to go back to every so often and I get a full transparency. I do not do a great job embracing that constantly. I know he talks about this needs to be the thing that you like, you know, work towards. Cause it's a way of life. I'm like, madhd it's a way of life for about a month and then. But I think that has been. Those are the two biggest ones. And then I'm going to throw a random one in there for you that I actually just added to my reread shelf. And it is called To Find a Nameless Fae. And it's a fiction book and it is a. It is a retelling of Rumpelstiltskin. And I got to the end of the book and first of all, it was very well done. It Felt I know it's an original. Like, I know it's not an original story. Right. Like, this is a clap. Come on. Everyone knows the story of Rumpelstiltskin. This is not. But the characters felt fresh and new. The world felt fresh and new. The characters felt real and, like, deep. And the storyline, the way she kept to it, but also subverted, was a really fascinating takeaway for me to come back to when you can find a way to. Like, people are not necessarily looking for. Right. Like, the. The review that I left started with something to the effect of sometimes you read a book and at the end of it, you rate it 5 stars and you question why you ever gave another book five star review. And, like, that was where I was with this book. I was like, this book, like, just blew everything else out of the water. And I know the other books I gave 5 stars to all deserved it too. But, like, this one really shifted something. And I realized people don't necessarily need it to be new, but they do need it to be you.
- [31:08]
Kevin Saint Clergy
I like that because I kind of can't remember exactly what he said. It's not. It was a marketing TED Talk that we watched on treadmill time one morning, and it was talking about familiar versus new.
- [31:19]
Stephanie Scheller
See?
- [31:19]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Right? And it fits right into that framework that you. Yeah, I think it's good. Doesn't have to be brand new, but does have to. It could be new ideas, but familiar.
- [31:27]
Stephanie Scheller
Yeah. And I put that one on my reread shelf because I do think that one, that's a lesson that I get to relearn about every three years, it seems. And two, I think because it is a fiction book, sometimes you can get to the end of those books, and depending on where you're at in life, you'll get a different lesson out of it. That's one thing I've really fell in love with, reading fiction to learn from for my business. And so it was a good book to read. I enjoyed it, and I think it's one that I'll go back to and get different lessons from. Even if I maybe get the same lesson but need it all over again in a couple of years, I love it.
- [31:59]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Well, for a business owner who feels stuck, overwhelmed, or burned out, what's the first strategic shift they should make?
- [32:05]
Stephanie Scheller
Ooh. So, okay, so my answer is gonna be a hard one for the business owners who do feel stuck and burned out and overwhelmed. But the first shift you need to make is you need to get time for yourself back in there. And I think when we are Burned out. This is really hard to be okay with. And so even if we put time in the calendar for ourselves, we end up pushing other things onto, into that space. And so I think it's when you're in that space, it's really important to create some time. And the first few times you create that time, maybe you create 10, 15 minutes, but you are not allowed to do anything. Like you have to sit and get comfortable with doing nothing again in the silence, in the quiet. And especially for an ADHD entrepreneur, right, like that's really hard. But I think when we are in burnout mode, I carry a certification on emotional quotient that I have to recertify in every couple of years. And a large part of that is because it forces me to get back into this training every year, every couple of years. And remember that what happens in the brain when we are in burnout mode is we, we literally do not have the capacity to basically fire our higher level functions like our creativity, our ability to process and think and plan and hold the future and the present, that our ability to speak and communicate and translate what we are feeling into words that we can do something with. All of that doesn't work. And the only way it starts to work again is when we have that space to just sit back. And so I think like the first, this is why our events are events, right? It's a two day retreat, it's a one day retreat and people have to take time for that. And I understand that is hard, but I also know that until you are able to make that time, you're not going to be able to find the breakthrough you need, much less implement it because your, your brain literally doesn't have the, the gas to be able to do that. So it's really hard. But when you are in that, that space, it is when it becomes even more important. Even if you don't go to another person's event, you have to start making time. I usually recommend at that point go to some like do something that you are not going to back out of. Right? That was I, I did this once where I rented a really expensive house like out in the hill country because I knew that I wouldn't cancel the rental because it was too much money. And so like I put like that is one thing I've had people be like, your events are expensive. I'm like, first of all, they're not. Second of all good. Like if that is that then you will show up because the ticket was too expensive for you to waste.
- [34:45]
Kevin Saint Clergy
That's Right. Yeah, exactly. I love it when people say everything's too expensive. It just depends on, you know, perspective. Right. Perspective and the value that you get. But I didn't talk to one person. A lot of your people that I sat with and talked to, even getting to participate in the mastermind group had been there three, four, five years in a row. And yeah, it's just their one thing that they do. And what I loved about it is you actually gave them time to sit and think and do their thing. And that's why I think it's important you nailed it. I love that because just sitting there and getting used to doing nothing like we used to. I like my sauna time. It's a 15 minute. Just because you can't take electronics in there. And I do take my phone in there because it's waterproof. But it's kind of fun to watch the temperature go up on the phone. But I just play some nice relaxing spa music. I don't do anything or check email in there. I just set it aside and I try to close my eyes and sit there and just sweat it out.
- [35:36]
Stephanie Scheller
Yep. I love the sauna for that same reason. Like, I love putting myself in places where you. You can't sabotage yourself because we're very good at that.
- [35:46]
Kevin Saint Clergy
But I love just setting aside time for yourself because so many times I see people come to me and they'll say things like, kevin, I'm just. My schedule's overwhelmed. And I'm like, well, who's in charge of your schedule? And they're like, well, my assistant, my front desk. I'm like, I'm going to ask again, who's in charge of your schedule? Me. Is that a question or a statement? And so I think that they need to have a. I think I always recommend that people, the first big hire they should make or the best next hire is a personal assistant who can protect you from yourself. I call it the CC approach because Christina can is my executive assistant. She's been with me 11 or 12 years. Excuse me. She protects me from myself. Just put them here. How many of you have ever done that?
- [36:24]
Stephanie Scheller
Just, yes, I can fit it in,
- [36:27]
Kevin Saint Clergy
especially over my video recording time, because I don't want to do that. So she says, no, that's important. I can help them find another time. So, yep, that's what I think people need, is protect you from yourself. Especially when it comes to blocking out. Like, it's just really cool these days to look over here at my calendar and see 8, 8:45 walk and snack, lunch, walk, 3 o' clock, walk, and snack. And she just does a wonderful job of making sure because I have to walk 15,500 steps a day.
- [36:57]
Stephanie Scheller
Yeah. Which I still am so proud of you for it. Also think you're crazy, but.
- [37:01]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Well, I haven't done it the last couple weeks since I had the heart ablation, so that kind of knocked me down a little bit. But it feels so good to start walking again. You never thought you'd miss it, but I do.
- [37:11]
Stephanie Scheller
Yeah. I came down sick in at the beginning of February, and I started doing a lot more walking as well. Um, I'm. I'm currently walking the ring to. To. To Mount Doom.
- [37:20]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Oh, nice.
- [37:21]
Stephanie Scheller
Conquer Rap challenge. It's hilarious. But like, I. When I came down sick, like, I really did miss it, and I. I went back and I started walking again too soon, and then I made my sickness last longer than it should have. So that was on me. But, like, I really do miss it.
- [37:35]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Well, as we wrap up and thank you for being here, there's a one question that I like to ask every guest, and it's this. You clearly invest in yourself. And so what are your favorite ways to do that? Is it reading podcasts? Meetings? Masterminds? Having a coach? What. What is your favorite way to invest in yourself so that you keep moving forward and keep growing?
- [37:54]
Stephanie Scheller
My favorite way to invest in myself is I'm trying to think of the right way to frame this one because they're not always financial like it's with other people. Which is funny to say, because I'm very much an introvert. And so to say that is, some people who know me might be giving the phone or the wherever. They're listening to this through a dirty look. But I think I'm very careful about the groups that I plug into. I'm very careful about the people that I trust with allowing to have influence and insight into me. I've gotten myself in trouble a few times over the years with, you know, joining groups that really are not good groups for me to be part of or letting people, you know, become mentors to me that were not actually mentors and should not have been mentors to me. And so I'm very careful about which groups I do allow myself to plug into. But I think to me, one of the most important, like, the way I invest in myself is with allocating time to these groups. And sometimes there's fees associated, sometimes there's not. You know, you mentioned in my bio at the beginning that I do the fiction writing and the Fantasy writing too. And I joined a writing group and my initial thought was like, this is. I do not need this. This is a little bit ridiculous. First of all, I write an insane amount. You know, I will write a hundred thousand words in a month somewhere.
- [39:18]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Oh gosh.
- [39:19]
Stephanie Scheller
Wow. Like oh yeah, no, I go nuts. So I was like I do not need a writing group. And it has been one of the best one balancing pieces for me and keeping me from, from spiraling in my writing. But it's also just become a good place to like, I would say create accountability. I don't necessarily need accountability on writing or something that stuff. I usually don't but it creates a space that I can't think. Helps gets me out of my own head a little bit more.
- [39:49]
Kevin Saint Clergy
I like that.
- [39:51]
Stephanie Scheller
So yeah, that would be people groups.
- [39:54]
Kevin Saint Clergy
I love it. Well, if people want to get in touch with you or they're interested in coming to one of your retreats, how is the best way for them or what is the best way for them to get in touch?
- [40:03]
Stephanie Scheller
Yeah, if they want to get in touch with me. I spend far too much time on LinkedIn and by far too much time. I enjoy it and I meet really cool people. So it's probably not going to change. But LinkedIn is the best place to find me. It's Stephanie Scheller, it's the chick with the violin. So it's not hard to find if you want to come to one of our events. I believe this is actually dropping just before the Reflect and we should have not long but a little bit of time left of the. The ticket sales for the reflect. The Reflect is the online business intensive plus the field kit. So everything we do is built for usage, not for ideas. And so we. It is an online event to make it so people don't have to travel, make it accessible. And I will throw out there. You know, Kevin's material from January is going to be part of the reflex. So those who want to come here that one but it's. We anchor it with the, with the field kit. So you have a kit of pieces that help pull your ideas and your planning into the real world after the event. And that is April 17th. If you're listening to this afterwards and you've missed it, then I would just go to. Well either way you go to the website which would be grow, disrupt and check out where we're at with the what tier we're at on the ticket sales for the reflect on or what we have coming up next. That's probably the best place we have cool products that we're launching this year. The Sprints, the blind date with the books.
- [41:20]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Yeah, talk to us about that because that's on my list to do. That's what that was gonna be. My next question, I know you're working on something new and exciting. Would you mind just telling the listeners about that before we go?
- [41:29]
Stephanie Scheller
Yes. Okay. So this has been like for quite a while in the making. I was actually going back. We've been, we've been working towards this for like two years now. Really, really aggressively working towards us for the past eight months. And a big piece of this came from. Every time we wrap an event, I get about, I don't know, 15 emails from people saying you should sell more tickets, you should do this event for a hundred people, you should do this for more people. And I'm always like, Stephanie does not want to do an event that big. Right. So what we have found is that we do want to increase the amount of impact we're making. And so we have been working on how do we create a product, a kit, something that people buy that actually gets them to do the thing. So we've created the seven day Sprints. And so there it's a kit you buy, right? And they'll launch in September and that we're launching two. The first one will be your habit Kickstarter. And so it is a kit that is built for the ADHD brain, but I guarantee it will work for us and neuronormal brains do. How do you actually kickstart a habit in a way that not only gets it going but actually makes it part of your identity? So it will keep going after the sprint is over. We have one that is overwhelmed order. That one will launch at the same time in September. And it's like, how do you get out of overwhelm, create some order out of things, but then also ingrain that into your identity so it continues after the seven day sprint is over. Because we figure people can, can stay focused for seven days, especially if they've got the support tools they'll have in the Sprint. Right. So we've created those. We have a series of sprints we'll launch over the next few years. We have an Advent calendar we're dropping in in November. That will basically be 31 days of like, how do you wrap up your year and kick off the new year? But there'll be little things and some of it will just be fun. Like we're joking. We're like, one of the days is just going to be A piece of chocolate. Because that's just gonna make people excited, right? But then it'll be exercises. It'll be. It'll be, like, things to do. And then we also have the blind date with the books, because obviously I'm obsessed with reading. And they do this in, like, the fiction world all the time, where you can buy a blind date with a book, and it tells you, like, here's the tropes you're getting, here's the genre, and here's the stars.
- [43:30]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Oh, very cool.
- [43:31]
Stephanie Scheller
Do this. And I was like, what if we could do this for, like, entrepreneurs? And so then we sat down and we said, okay, you know, if we're going to do it for entrepreneurs, we want to do this in a way where they'll actually read the book and use it, because, come on, we all have a stack of books we haven't read yet. I have, I think, two shelves over there full of books I haven't read yet. So we were like, how do we do this? So we've been working on, like, putting this blind date with a book together. So you don't know what the book's going to be, but you know what the genre is. You know, your outcomes are going to be from the book. And then the kit is designed to actually help you get those outcomes out of the book. Whether you read every single page out of the book or not is irrelevant. And so I'm. Those will launch in May.
- [44:07]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Oh, can't wait. Yep.
- [44:08]
Stephanie Scheller
So excited I've got you on my beta tester list, Kevin. I'm going to, like, send you stuff.
- [44:14]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Oh, I'll do it. You send me whatever it is you want me to do, and I will do it. I owe you. Your conference is wonderful for us and for me personally. So whatever you need to test for you, I'm in.
- [44:24]
Stephanie Scheller
Oh, thank you. I'm so. I appreciate it. I figured you would be, but I was, like, just gonna start sending him. Some boxes are gonna start arriving.
- [44:30]
Kevin Saint Clergy
He's gonna be like, what is this? Oh, she knows where I live. Oops.
- [44:35]
Stephanie Scheller
Uh.
- [44:35]
Kevin Saint Clergy
Oh, cool. Well, thank you, Stephanie, for being here. I know you gotta go. And we're getting to the top of the hour. Anything else you wanna leave the audience with? Otherwise, we'll close it up.
- [44:44]
Stephanie Scheller
You know, the only thing I will leave with. We joked a little bit before we started rolling here about, you know, the iPhones, the androids, the Mac, the Windows, et cetera. And I talk about this quite a bit with what we do with the ADHD iOS, which is our education initiative on what ADHD actually is and how to use it. But I think a lot of times, I think this applies across the board, right? A lot of times we are looking up how to articles for the wrong operating system. We're looking at how to articles and how to do stuff that doesn't work for how our computer is hardwired or how our brain is hardwired. And so I would encourage people to think about that. Think about, just make sure that what you're doing is working for you. And that is probably one of the best things that if you can make that your metric, that would be my takeaways. I hope more people will start working on doing the things that work for them and how their brain, their body, their life really is wired.
- [45:40]
Kevin Saint Clergy
I love it. I love it. That is a great way to end the show. Stephanie, thank you for being here. I love you. I will see you soon and hopefully we'll have you back on the show again.
- [45:48]
Stephanie Scheller
I'd love that. Thanks, Kevin.