CRACKING UP AT COACHELLA- BFFs S2 Ep 15

Summary

Podcast Summary: CRACKING UP AT COACHELLA - BFFs S2 Ep 15

Released on April 17, 2025 by Barstool Sports

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1. Introduction to Coachella Adventures

Josh Richards and Brianna Chickenfry welcome listeners back to their podcast from the vibrant setting of Coachella. They share their excitement and the unique experiences they're having at the festival, setting the stage for a week filled with music, mishaps, and memorable moments.

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2. Unexpected Confrontation with Santos

[02:03] Josh: "I guess I kind of took it all."
Josh narrates an incident involving a person named Santos, who tried to associate himself with their stream and demanded they purchase shots. The situation escalated when Santos physically approached Josh, leading to an uncomfortable standoff.

[03:14] Brianna: "That she would slap Gabby."
Brianna explains that Santos began targeting Gabby with threats, which compelled Josh to address the issue publicly on their podcast. Their attempt to defuse the situation was met with persistence from Santos, who continued to escalate the confrontation.

[04:57] Josh: "Yo, what is up, everyone? Welcome back to the BFF's podcast."
Josh highlights the challenges of managing unwanted attention and maintaining their personal boundaries amidst the chaos of Coachella.

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3. Navigating Celebrity Encounters

The duo recount their encounters with various celebrities at Coachella, including Patrick Schwarzenegger and Dwayne Wade.

[12:06] Brianna: "I kept going up to people there. Coachella is insane with the fact that every real celebrity is just right next to you."
Brianna shares her excitement and nervousness while interacting with celebrities, emphasizing the surreal nature of meeting famous personalities in such a large gathering.

[13:04] Josh: "Yeah, no, it's been a fun. I mean, this is only my second one, so I guess I only have one to compare it to."
Josh reflects on his growing appreciation for Coachella, noting his positive experiences despite minor setbacks like foot injuries from headbanging to Green Day.

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4. Musical Highlights and Performances

[09:24] Josh: "Green Day, no doubt."
Both hosts express their enthusiasm for Green Day's performance, describing it as a unifying and electrifying experience that stood out amidst the myriad of acts at the festival.

[18:28] Brianna: "And she was like, bri, I cannot wait for Travis. She goes, that's all Coachella. That's the whole point of Coachella."
Brianna shares a humorous anecdote about Gabby's intense fandom for Travis Scott, illustrating the diverse range of music appreciation present at the event.

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5. Personal Mishaps and Funny Moments

Throughout the episode, Josh and Brianna discuss various personal mishaps that add humor to their Coachella experience.

[08:59] Brianna: "She texted me this morning, can I have that video? And she was like, zooming in. In the background, there's like 14-year-old boys."
Brianna recounts a funny moment involving a video of her performing energetically during a Travis Scott song, highlighting the amusing side of festival performances.

[21:04] Josh: "It was. I think it was 2016."
Josh shares a past story about a wild night involving a G. Eazy concert and an acid trip gone wrong, bringing a nostalgic and laugh-out-loud element to the conversation.

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6. Festival Logistics and Challenges

The hosts delve into the logistical challenges of attending Coachella, including extensive walking, dealing with extreme heat, and navigating the vast festival grounds.

[50:21] Josh: "Yeah. I mean, I'm sure it's crazy, right? Like, for the employees and the people, like, at the different gates."
Josh discusses the overwhelming nature of Coachella's layout, emphasizing the physical demands placed on attendees and staff alike.

[54:26] Brianna: "The first day was 103 degrees."
Brianna highlights the harsh weather conditions, underscoring the endurance required to fully enjoy the festival experience.

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7. Playful Banter and Pranks

Josh and Brianna engage in their trademark playful banter, making jokes and planning harmless pranks to keep the atmosphere light and entertaining.

[43:05] Brianna: "I've never done it. I didn’t crush anyone, and I was like, oh, my God, I might as well have just ball tapped."
Brianna teases Josh about their inside jokes and emphasizes the fun dynamics of their friendship amidst the festival chaos.

[44:15] Josh: "I mean, I'm probably not gonna be overly thrilled that I just got pushed over a human body and probably whiplash my head against the ground, but I..."
Josh responds to Brianna's prank ideas with humor, maintaining the lighthearted tone of their conversation.

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8. Closing Thoughts and Future Plans

As the episode wraps up, Josh and Brianna reflect on their Coachella experience, expressing gratitude for their friendship and the unforgettable memories they've created together.

[56:10] Josh: "Yeah. We're so back with Read the Room."
They discuss future plans, including potential new guests and the continuation of their podcast adventures, while sharing a mutual appreciation for each other's company.

[56:36] Josh: "I wouldn't go that far, but I think, you know, if you throw an old man in the mix. We got a podcast."
Josh humorously acknowledges the diverse range of topics and guests they might explore in upcoming episodes, hinting at the dynamic nature of their show.

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Notable Quotes

• Josh Richards: "I guess I kind of took it all." — [02:03]
• Brianna Chickenfry: "That she would slap Gabby." — [03:14]
• Josh Richards: "Green Day, no doubt." — [09:24]
• Brianna Chickenfry: "I'm not gonna do acid tonight." — [39:59]
• Josh Richards: "Let's do pranks." — [42:34]

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Conclusion

In this episode of BFFs with Josh Richards and Brianna Chickenfry, listeners are treated to a candid and humorous account of the hosts' adventures at Coachella. From unexpected confrontations and celebrity encounters to personal mishaps and playful banter, Josh and Brianna offer a relatable and entertaining glimpse into life at one of the world's most renowned music festivals. Their dynamic friendship and ability to navigate both the highs and lows of Coachella create a compelling narrative that resonates with audiences, making this episode a standout installment in their podcast series.

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For more episodes of BFFs with Josh Richards and Brianna Chickenfry, subscribe on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or YouTube. Prime Members can enjoy ad-free listening on Amazon Music. Visit barstool.link/bffspod for additional content.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Yes.

[A]

I guess I kind of took it all.

[B]

You did. But let's get into that.

[A]

Let's go.

[B]

My voice is kind of back. I lost it a little bit.

[A]

Okay. What? You did some, like, voice exercises before this? Get it back a bit.

[B]

I. Yeah, I did. I went to the bathroom. I did a.

[A]

Doesn't sound like you can do it still.

[B]

I can't. My throat hurts, so. I've never screamed so loud at Green Day.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

My whole life. Josh.

[A]

What a concert.

[B]

What? We're at Coachella.

[A]

We. Yeah, I guess we should open up with that. Coachella. Done. Two days. We're on day three.

[B]

Day three, and you're already fitted up, ready to go.

[A]

I'm already fitted up. I got to go to an event right after this, so. You guys are welcome for making time out of my day for your podcast.

[B]

That we do. That we have to do. Yeah. Thank. Thanks, guys.

[A]

You want to call it my podcast?

[B]

Thank him. Well, it's our podcast.

[A]

Well, you just called it mine. Yeah, but I didn't say it. I didn't say it.

[B]

You almost got your ass beat by. What's his name?

[A]

Santos.

[B]

Santos. Trying to beat you up. Can we talk about that?

[A]

Yeah, we can. Of course.

[B]

Okay. What the hell happened?

[A]

Yeah, so, I mean, this dates back a little bit and I hate even giving them like.

[B]

Well, that's why it's funny.

[A]

It's funny, though, because it's like, dude, this is the most views they've gotten ever.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, yeah, no, it's all started with the Sway Stream. Went to Saddle Ranch. This woman who abandoned their child was there and kept trying to, like, get into the stream. It's kind of weird. And then on top of that, was, like, trying to, like, demand that we buy our shots because we were walking around and it was just like, no, think we're good. And then Ant fills me in on all the drama. I didn't really know much about it. I honestly got mixed into all of this without even knowing who these people.

[B]

I know. I know. So it was like the height of the Ash Trevino stuff.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So fast forward like a week or whatever, and I guess that. That, you know, what do we. Like that bad mom starts going at my girl. She starts going at Gabby and said.

[B]

That she would slap Gabby.

[A]

I'm. If you want to talk on me all day long, I don't care. I really. It doesn't bug me. Doesn't bother me. But, you know, when you start talking about Gabby, that's. That's where it's like, all right, this is enough. So I went on the podcast, and I had some words, which I stand by and continue to stand by, and stood by when they were talking to me. So then they came up. This random dude with, like, a band aid on his face, looks like he was scratched by a kitten or something, comes up and, like, grabs my arm and turns me around. I, like, had to back up because his piano key teeth almost hit me in the forehead when he started talking. And he. He was going on about how, like, he has no problem with me. And I was like, I don't even. Like, I'm just, like, trying to digest what's going on.

[B]

Is this Santos?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, I was also a little under the influence of a couple things, trying to, like, figure out what's even going on right now, because I was in such a Zen vibe.

[B]

You were chilling.

[A]

And then I was. I looked over and I. I saw a bad mom chilling right there. And I'm like, no. Like, that's just what I said. They're like, you need to apologize. And I was like, no.

[B]

Well, they. They came up to him, and they're like, if you have something to say, say to her face. Say it to her face.

[A]

Yeah. And I was like. I was like, how about this? You know, I'll say whatever the fuck I want on my social media, and y'all can say whatever the. You want on yours. Right? And then they're like, you best believe we'll say whatever the we want on our social media. And I was like, all right, cool. We agree. See ya. Were they turn around again? They were all like videoing, right? So I noticed that. And I'm like, oh, they're clearly all trying to get a clip. Like, this is what they do, right? They, they want a reaction, they want to fight, they want something to go down. And he keeps like grabbing me, keeps turning me around. So eventually I was like, dude, stop fucking touching me. Yeah, there's. If you want to say something, you can say something, I guess, right?

[B]

They kept touching your arm?

[A]

Yeah. And kept like trying to grab like pull me around. It was just getting weird. And I think that's when like all my boys kind of noticed what was going on. And they were like, all right, Josh, let's go. Like, you're just going to leave? This guy's not worth your time. So we all start turning around to leave and they're like going on about how they have like thousands on the wrist or something. Like, and once someone starts flexing money.

[B]

Wait, they started saying they have thousands on their wrist?

[A]

Yeah, they're like, we got thousands on the wrist. We got thousands on the wrist.

[B]

Wait, why were they saying that?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I guess, hey, I want to fight you. I got thousands on this.

[A]

I didn't understand and like, it was like, I guess like some fake bust down or something like that. And I was just like, guys, what are we doing right now? So I was just kind of doing one of these as we were walking away and we left, we left. It was just like. It wasn't. What, what are we gonna do?

[B]

Yeah, I think they just want. Obviously wanted a clip. They saw you. I'm worried because I'm worried that I'm gonna have to get into a fight because I know that she, if she saw me, she's probably gonna try to fist fight me.

[A]

I will say.

[B]

I think, and I don't want to do that, but I'm kind of crazy.

[A]

I truly think that they're lucky, like my sister isn't here in the country.

[B]

Oh, I got. I know.

[A]

Like, if I'm going to be for real, the most about it person I think I've ever met in my life is my sister. Yeah, I've went out with my sister back in Canada, like since I've been on social media and started to like have some followers and whatnot. And when we've ever had a table or anything. She is a menace. She doesn't let anyone come by. She'll grab a girl by the ponytail and escort her out of a table like she doesn't give a fuck. She led her team in hockey with penalty minutes and points one year.

[B]

Oh, she's that girl.

[A]

She will slide. So, yeah, I mean, it's just one of those things.

[B]

It's so stupid is what it is. It's so stupid. And the only reason I'm gonna. I'm having a heart attack. The only reason I was, like, upset about it was because she said stuff about Gabby. So obviously I reacted to that. And I feel like she's gonna see me and be like, well, you have so much to say. Fight me now. Fight me now.

[A]

What do I do? I mean, they're just like, serial lies.

[B]

Practice, practice.

[A]

All right.

[B]

She comes up to me.

[A]

Okay. How do they talk?

[B]

Oh, yeah. What's up, bitch?

[A]

What are you going to say now? What are you going to say now?

[B]

And I'm going to start. Should I just laugh? That'll make me feel worse.

[A]

I don't know. This is terrible. This is going bad. Really? Right now? This is going really bad.

[B]

Oh, you know what I should do?

[A]

What?

[B]

You got something on. Shirt flicker in the nose.

[A]

That's a good one, actually.

[B]

Right? Classic.

[A]

Just absolutely daughter.

[B]

And then. And then run around circling her. Just make her weirded out.

[A]

Maybe I'll just get, like, ring around the Rosie going around them. Start chanting, ring around the Rosie. They're gonna be like, what the is going like, what was she doing?

[B]

Some culture.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

She's doing a witch's call.

[A]

Yeah, no kidding.

[B]

I just start doing the worm.

[A]

I throw up on her.

[B]

I just look at her.

[A]

You pull trig on a human being.

[B]

I just throw up all of her and start crying.

[A]

That's disgusting.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

That's like those animals. That's like those, like, lizards or bugs that, like, spit venom into people.

[B]

They're like, if she tries to fight me, I'm gonna throw up on.

[A]

That's vile.

[B]

That is really funny. I'm picturing it now. I hope she does come up to.

[A]

Me so you can throw up on her.

[B]

I think that's really funny.

[A]

Gotta be a form of assault.

[B]

100%. That's like, yeah, go to jail.

[A]

Yeah, I would hope.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. I'm gonna throw up on Brie Olsen.

[A]

That's terrible, dude.

[B]

Oh, my God. I can't wait. That is really funny. But other than that, Coachella has been a blast.

[A]

Oh, been a blast.

[B]

This is my first One. I've never had so much fun in my whole entire life.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's been a fun. I mean, I. This is only my second one, so I guess I only have one to compare it to. But I'm definitely having more fun this one than the last one.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, my neck, like, my neck hurts from Green Day. I've never head banged so much.

[A]

I think I got a concussion, actually.

[B]

Actually, my brain was rattling in my skull.

[A]

Yeah. Also, Gabby was jumping up and down, and she's, like, a little lower than me. And our up and downs were a little off. Synced at one point, and I came down when she came up and smoked me in the jaw.

[B]

Oh, Skull.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you throw up on her?

[A]

No, I didn't. I didn't. I didn't throw up ever this weekend.

[B]

Me. Until I see Briels.

[A]

Just saving it all up, eh?

[B]

Saving it all up. Drinking a cup of cream right now. This is crazy.

[A]

Sounds disgusting.

[B]

What's been your favorite part of Coachella? Other than hanging out with all the people with the thousands on their wrists?

[A]

Oh, man. What was my favorite part? I mean, Green Day, no doubt.

[B]

Green Day. Okay.

[A]

So cool. That's just what I've been. Was looking forward to the whole Coachella. I was like, this is the one I want to see. I want to see Green Day. I want to see Green Day. So that they. It felt like everybody in the, like, crowd, too, was just going.

[B]

I felt like the whole world was there.

[A]

Yeah. It looked like an ocean of people.

[B]

That, like, that could unite the world. Green Day could unite the world.

[A]

It was so good.

[B]

It was freaking awesome. Did you see Charlie xcx?

[A]

I didn't get to go to Charlie xcx. We were at Revolve festival, and we saw Lil Wayne, Cardi B.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

How's Cardi B look in person?

[A]

I looks good. I didn't do a lot of looking, if I'm gonna be honest. My girlfriend was on my ass.

[B]

I'm saying, like, that. I'm just saying, like, I love her. She's pretty.

[A]

No, I was doing a lot of this. I was kind of just like, I might drink in my hand.

[B]

And I was just like, well, there's so much to look at. Those, like, it's just like, wow, where do I look?

[A]

Because there's a lot going on like this all time.

[B]

Yeah. Eyes down, eyes down.

[A]

Look at the floor this way. I was like, damn, clouds are nice today.

[B]

Anywhere besides that ass. Oh, my God. But it was. She was pouring whipped cre in everyone's mouth her like cream.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Did you get a load of that?

[A]

No, I didn't get a load of her cream. Brie.

[B]

Just asking.

[A]

What a weird way to phrase that.

[B]

It's a load of her cream.

[A]

Like, it's not. It's like, you could. You could. There's so many better ways you could say that.

[B]

What would you have rather me have said?

[A]

I would have rather you have said. Did you per chance get a taste of the alcoholic whipped cream company that she has?

[B]

Did you get a taste of that load of cream?

[A]

No.

[B]

Alcoholic beverage, you know, company.

[A]

You got a cup of cream right now. But I don't want that.

[B]

Yeah, cream's on my mind. For real. I'm drinking a White Russian, guys. It is really bad. It is. Try it. It's actually really good.

[A]

See what trick cha. You just contradict.

[B]

Don't make me throw up on you. Do you like it?

[A]

Why does it taste like water?

[B]

Okay, you drink root beer and bay leaves.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

It's a White Russian. Try it again. You like it now?

[A]

No, it got worse with the second sip.

[B]

It's cream. Kahlua, vodka and ice.

[A]

Maybe it's just you guys got, like, what, shitty cream?

[B]

It's heavy cream. I'm drinking cups of cream. I'm going to poop on the podcast.

[A]

This tastes like water. There's, like, no flavor to that.

[B]

Whatever. I'll just sit over here and enjoy myself. Why don't you talk? This is a podcast.

[A]

This is my podcast. So I guess. What else did you guys get up to, man?

[B]

Oh, my God. Patrick Schwarzenegger.

[A]

Oh, you saw him?

[B]

Yeah. Okay, so I keep going up to people there. I mean, Coachella is insane with the fact that every, like, real celebrities are just right next to you. It's actually crazy. Like, I walked back. I think I almost ball tapped Will Ferrell out of. Out of instinct.

[A]

I know that's a bad instinct.

[B]

I know I'm throwing up on people. I'm assault. I didn't do any of that. I didn't do any of that. But, like, I just feel like he's one of the bros. I walked past him. We were walking in the artist section, and I'm freaking out because I see him coming my way. Just think, what do I do? What do I say? What do I say?

[A]

And your first thought was ball town?

[B]

No, no, no, no. I mean, yes, I didn't do that, obviously, but I just look at him. I humiliated myself.

[A]

What did you do?

[B]

I go, you're great. Then I go, why Did I say that?

[A]

It's not that bad. It's better than ball tapping. Just levels ahead of ball tapping.

[B]

Well, I would have. I would have got arrested if I bought. I don't want to ball tap him. It was just like. You know when you have, like. Just like. Oh, my God. Like an impulsive thought, an intrusive thought.

[A]

Yeah, sure, I've had impulsive thoughts.

[B]

But, like, when you're driving on the highway and you're like, I should ram into this pole.

[A]

Okay, I have had that. I'll admit that. Everyone.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Everyone's had the thought of, like, at a red light. Like, if I just went, should I run it? What if I just ran.

[B]

That was me with Will Ferrell. Should I ball tap him?

[A]

All right.

[B]

In my head, I was like, no, no, don't do it. Don't do it. Hands behind your back. You're great. It was wicked.

[A]

I don't like that you made that relatable thing.

[B]

Yeah, no, it was. It was really cool, though. Saw him and then saw Patrick Schwarzenegger, and. Yeah, went up to him. My friend, the boy smoke show.

[A]

Yeah. Cool guy, too.

[B]

Yeah, super. He was alone, and we circled him. My friends were like.

[A]

And you guys did ring around the Rosie.

[B]

Yep. Threw up all over him. My friend Megan goes up to him and goes, I love you to death. He goes, you love me to death? She grabs his arm, goes, you see Charlie xcx? He goes, yeah, I'm out of Charlie. She was like, it was great, wasn't it? It was so great.

[A]

That's cool.

[B]

I was like, wrap this up and.

[A]

Kind of take a picture.

[B]

He was, like, staring at us like, oh, my God, you guys are horrific. Yeah, we were being pretty horrific. We were just running around, just talking to people.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that's why when I had a DM exchange with him, we were, like, going back and for answering everything, and I was like, you want to come on the podcast? No answer. Well, listen, maybe it was because of you guys.

[B]

That was last night. When did that happen?

[A]

This morning.

[B]

Now he's actually.

[A]

Yeah, we were DMing this morning.

[B]

Well, he didn't know it was me.

[A]

Well, how do you know that?

[B]

That's for damn sure. He didn't know it was me. I had an invisible cloak on. I'm cracking up. Honestly, Having a really fun time.

[A]

Yeah. You guys are delusional over here.

[B]

Yeah. No one in this house has slept well.

[A]

I can tell. One of your friends came up to one of my friends, sweating profusely, demanding for acid. What's up with that? My friends think you. You guys are maniacs. My friends think you guys are absolute maniacs.

[B]

My friend.

[A]

Sweating, sweating, dripping. Look like he's withdrawing. Hey, Blake, I'm friends with Brie. I promise. Where's acid? It's like, yo, what? Okay, I'm sure you're friends with her. Dude, back away.

[B]

That's what he's doing. Like, and he will go off. He will go off, and he's going up to all of these famous people. Like, they know who I am. Being like, I'm friends with Bri. They're like, who is Bri? I'm friends with Bri. Got acid. I'm like, dude, first of all, you are not allowed to do acid. Second of all, you need to take a shower.

[A]

Yeah. Third of all, drink of water.

[B]

Stop bringing me up.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

He goes up to sketch. What did he do? He goes, bri, I met your boyfriend. I'm like, oh, my God. Who? He was like, I went up to sketch. I was like, I know Bri. She loves you. She's a great girl. You should really get to know her. He's like, yeah, she's my friend. I don't think you're friends with.

[A]

Nobody thinks this guy is your homie. Everyone thinks he's probably, like, a maniac fan that got, like, one or two photos with you before, and he's, like, going around claiming that you guys are best friends.

[B]

He said his lock screen as our.

[A]

Prom picture so that when people probably photoshop that they. He. They think he AI'd that photo.

[B]

He tells everyone his first opening line is, brianna was my first kiss. Seventh grade. Won't stop bringing up, we kissed one time. Tells everyone that we're in love and that we're gonna probably get married. Well, he horrified Blake.

[A]

Yeah, he did. He horrified. And I. Blake, the second time he introduced himself, and he comes up and he's like, yo, what's up, Blake? I just want to say I'm friends with Bri. Just doubled down. He. He didn't bring up the ass at that time. And it was a lot less sweaty.

[B]

Thank God he didn't get acid.

[A]

Blake was still like, yeah. And then Blake just kind of looks at me after. He was like, bro, that was awkward, as I was like, you guys have.

[B]

To buy into the bit. He's a walking bit.

[A]

I know he is. I mean, I. I think he's funny.

[B]

He's so funny.

[A]

I think he's funny.

[B]

Blake was a little horrified.

[A]

Yeah, Blake was horrified. Other Blake, also, I got two friends that Are named Blake. Oh, you do Huncho. Super funny. So we're all sitting there, we're dancing, and you have, like, a gay friend here with you, right?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I was hoping I was right. I was guessing off the mannerisms, but there's this gay dude at Coachella. This one gay dude. Anyways, so he. He starts, like, dancing with Grace, like Blake's girlfriend. And Blake knows that this guy is gay, so does not care. Also, Blake is, like, the least jealous dude I think I've ever met, but he's dancing with Grace. And Blake looks at me. He goes, yo, what the fuck? Like, as a joke, and then taps Grace. Like, after he's done dancing, he goes. And the guy turns around and watches it all go down, and then just kind of, like, turns back around and tries to, like, keep dancing, to play it off, pretending like he did watch. So he definitely thought Blake was actually super mad at him. Blake just started laughing so hard. Like, he kind of just kind of did, like. Like, he turned around. He turned around and was, like, kind of happy and a happy mood. He was like.

[B]

Throws up everywhere. Oh, you know what? That's so sad, because all night, he was like. I felt like I was at that concert alone, and everyone kept trying to, like, talk to him and, like, involve him, but he was, like, in his own world, and he's like, I have to go through this by myself. So he went out of his way to have fun and dance with Grace, and then it just got absolutely ruined. It got worse and worse and worse.

[A]

It's so bad.

[B]

I have never seen someone more excited for anything in my life than Grace for. No, not Grace. Gabby for Travis Scott.

[A]

Oh, yeah. She loves Travis. Travis Scott.

[B]

I don't know anyone that loves Travis Scott. And she is his number one fan.

[A]

It's funny because it's like, it was just for the song Nightcrawler.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

That was it. It was just. It's like. She's like. She just gets obsessed with songs. I think, like, she'll get, like. Like, one song from an artist, and that's it. And then she'll be like, they're my favorite. But it's. She just knows one song.

[B]

She was like, bri, I cannot wait for. I was like, I think I'm gonna leave for Travis. She goes, that's all a Coachella. That's the whole point of Coachella. I'm at Coachella for Travis Scott.

[A]

And then she goes like this for all the other songs. And then Nightcrawler comes On. She's going nuts. And then after Nightcrawler, she's like, do.

[B]

You see my video of her?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She texted me this morning, can I have that video? And she was like, zooming in. In the background, there's like 14 year old boys.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Like, what the.

[A]

What is this girl doing?

[B]

And I'm like, literally on my hands and knees, like, doing the craziest, craziest angles ever. Yeah, I got up down below under the ass. It was bizarre.

[A]

That is bizarre, actually.

[B]

It was bizarre.

[A]

Great clip.

[B]

I'll send it to you.

[A]

All right, cool.

[B]

No, thanks. We should put.

[A]

No, we shouldn't.

[B]

I've been a weirdo.

[A]

So what do you got on for day three, Bri?

[B]

Oh, man, I don't know. I think I gotta relax a little bit. Date. I mean, I'm just can't. This is the most fun I've ever had.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

I'm really having a fun time.

[A]

Low bar.

[B]

Okay. No, it's not. I'm with all of my best friends, and they half of my friends. So for the people that don't know, I'm here with High Noon. And they let me bring all of my hometown best friends. So I brought all my friends from growing up with. Half of them haven't even been to California before, and they get to go to Coachella. And we just like, the whole time, we're like. Our cheeks hurt from smiling so much.

[A]

So really, it's wholesome.

[B]

It's really wholesome.

[A]

Yeah. You sure you guys aren't smiling because you're rolling off acid?

[B]

I literally didn't take it. I couldn't find any.

[A]

Oh, you asked, you tried.

[B]

Have I ever told you my acid story? I did acid once in my life.

[A]

Maybe.

[B]

Have I? Do you want to hear it?

[A]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[B]

All right, guys, quick commercial break for Ghost Energy. Literally would be dead without Ghost Energy this weekend. I haven't really slept too much. Ghost Energy has been saving me. There's amazing flavors. They taste exactly like the flavors. There's zero added sugar. It's 2200 milligrams of natural caffeine. And there's no artificial flavoring in it, which is crazy. It's amazing. It's fully transparent, fully loaded, feel good energy. It is absolutely saving my ass this weekend. We love Ghost. We've been drinking it this whole time. And it's now sold nationwide at Circle K stores, and it's here to stay. Make sure to check it out. Like I said, a million flavors for you guys. And my favorite, personally, is the blue Raspberry Sour Patch Kid. Tastes exactly like it. Anyways, let's get back to the episode. Okay. I think I'm. It's awful. It starts off at a G. Eazy concert in Ohio. Cleveland, Ohio.

[A]

All right.

[B]

So I'm going to a G. Eazy concert with.

[A]

Feels very like 2015.

[B]

It was. I was. I think it was 2016. So this is when I stole my mom's car. I didn't steal it. She let me take it, but she thought I was going to Maine for the weekend with my friends. But I drove 16 hours to Ohio to meet up with this kid who I dated, who I met on a cruise. And I ended up dating him for, like, three years. But I needed to feel it out. I was like, do I really like him? Let me drive to Ohio and find out. Drove to Ohio, told my mom I was in Maine for the weekend. And we go to a G. Eazy concert. And he was, like, a couple years older than me, loved acid, which was crazy. He just would just, like, do acid at his house. It was really crazy. And he's like, you gotta try it. You gotta try it. I'm like, okay. I've never done. I've smoked weed before. And I was like, okay, I'll drop acid at G Eazy. Fucking. Who goes to a G Eazy concert to begin with?

[A]

Just to drop acid is even crazy.

[B]

Even crazier. I'm 16, so I drop acid. We leave the concert because we're all freaking out. We go to this restaurant called Winking Lizard. They have lizards in the front. So there's like a big. It's a. It's a bearded dragon. It's like this big, right? There's a bearded dragon in, like, an aquarium.

[A]

In its aquarium. What is it, dead?

[B]

What is it called?

[A]

Is a drown.

[B]

A terranium.

[A]

A terranium.

[B]

What is it called? A terrarium. Thank you. Right. That's what the lizards are in. There's a lizard in glass box in the front of the restaurant. So walk in. I'm like, whoa. I'm, like, looking at this lizard, right? Yeah. I think it's a dragon. So we go, we sit down, we order, like, 500 boneless wings. We don't touch them. No one's hungry. We're just at this restaurant because we're scared.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm in the back of my head, like, that dragon's gonna kill me. I'm thinking this whole time, it's a dragon in the front. I'm like, oh, my God. Gotta go to the bathroom and fucking Figure out how to get away from this dragon. So I go into the bathroom. I sit in the stall. I think five minutes has passed. I'm sitting in the stall. I'm like, in my head, I'm writing out a map on the back of this door, on the stall of how to break out of this restaurant and get away from this dragon. Because I'm convinced. I open the bathroom door, fire in my face. Dragon's gonna get me. Keep in mind, I think I'm in this bathroom for five minutes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Turns out it was two hours. They called the police. They thought I got kidnapped. They thought it went missing. I was in the bathroom for two hours devising a plan on how to escape this dragon slayer. I walk out of the bathroom, got my whole plan in my head. Police are out there. They're like, oh, my gosh, she's right there. I was like, what do you guys mean? They were like, you were gone for two hours.

[A]

So did.

[B]

They never did acid ever again.

[A]

They find out you were just tripping balls.

[B]

One look at me. Had to have known. But no, I was just like, oh, I was just. I was in the bathroom for so long. I was taking a poop.

[A]

I said, a two hour poop.

[B]

The whole time I'm like, where is this dragon? The police are talking to me. I'm like, this dragon.

[A]

This is a part of the dragon's plan. He can get me still.

[B]

I thought it was the dragon.

[A]

He probably called the police.

[B]

It was crazy. So I never did acid ever again in my life. Drove home and. Yeah, is really looking for acid, though. Let's bleep his name out. He has, like a job.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like a real one. Exactly. You're not gonna believe this. One of the smartest people I've ever met in my life.

[A]

He's an engineer and who. Oh, you're still tired. I couldn't fathom that you were gonna say that. One of the smartest people I knew. And you were still gonna be talking about insane, right? Wow.

[B]

Like actual genius. But he's just also a blast. I don't think he closed his mouth all weekend. Like, I just kept looking at him being like, the gaping hole is out of control like this all weekend. I just, like, would turn around and be like this.

[A]

He's gotta have a dry tongue. He's gotta have like a fucking sandpaper throat.

[B]

Warm of flies in the back of his neck.

[A]

That's too bad.

[B]

Yeah. But he had a blast. He's actually gone. He had to go to work tomorrow. So he got on a bus. He went to bed at, I think 8am and the bus picked him up at 9.

[A]

Came to the house.

[B]

Oh, yeah. He was in the hot tub all night long. He was boiling. I was like, you. He was like, roasting in a crock pot. You are going to die.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You're lucky you're not staying here.

[A]

No. Yeah, yeah. We have an Airbnb somewhere else far away. Yeah. Undisclosed location.

[B]

Oh, we talked about. We didn't talk about how you never wanted to show up for the wristbands.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it's not that I didn't want. Well, no, of course I didn't want to show up. You know, it was more of like, I had things to do.

[B]

Golf.

[A]

And then I had to. Whoa. Yeah, I had to golf. Dwyane Wade wanted me to golf.

[B]

You were golfing with Dwayne Wade?

[A]

It was his tournament.

[B]

That's why that's not the Rock. Right. As I said it, I should have threw up all over myself. I knew I was wrong. Dwayne Rock, the Johnson. Dwyane Wade plays basketball for the Miami Heat.

[A]

There you go. I was just gonna crush that. I was just gonna let you find.

[B]

It on your own that him and LeBron and. What was the other one? Jimmy.

[A]

No, Jimmy wasn't there at that point. But I.

[B]

No, but there was three people. No, there was three people on the Miami Heat.

[A]

Chris Bosh.

[B]

Chris Bosh.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Former Toronto Raptors.

[B]

He looks. Never mind.

[A]

What?

[B]

Nothing. I was gonna say he looks like 21 Savage. Right? Same haircut. No, you stab the same haircut.

[A]

Maybe I'd have to see, like, a side by side. I think.

[B]

I have no idea what I'm talking.

[A]

About to see a side by side. But anyways, Dwayne Wade, not Dwayne the Rock Johnson was the one hosting the tournament. So, yeah, we went and played in a golf tournament. And then I had to. We were streaming the whole thing too, so, like, I was streaming, so.

[B]

Oh, I know, I know. You don't answer your text. I have to get in your Twitch stream to get in contact with you.

[A]

Sorry. I just prioritized my. My loyal supporters.

[B]

I had to get on my Instagram story and say, can we please go tell Josh that I'm waiting for him? I didn't. Anyone that follows me has Twitch. The whole chat was like, you gotta go. Me?

[A]

They're like, yeah, go to Bri. Go to Bri. And I was like, oh, my God. Off.

[B]

I was like, thank you, guys. Thank God you did that. He wouldn't have came.

[A]

I went out of my way, got the tickets. It was just annoying because the day before I had to go do the same thing.

[B]

I know, but we weren't in. We didn't know that.

[A]

Like $175 on an Uber that I shouldn't have had to spend that money.

[B]

Aren't you a multi millionaire?

[A]

Yeah, but act broke. Stay rich, dude.

[B]

Yeah, I guess so.

[A]

Don't want to just throw around 170. $175 to 107.

[B]

I mean, yeah, that's $175. It doesn't change, you know, how much these passes were. $10,000 and we weren't going to be able to get them.

[A]

Yep. That would have been too bad for you guys.

[B]

Yeah, there's a lot of flies running around you.

[A]

What is going on, dude?

[B]

You must be stinky.

[A]

It's just one singular fly.

[B]

Did you hang out with Dwayne? Dwayne John Dwayne Wade?

[A]

I mean, I didn't really hang out with them.

[B]

I thought it was his tournament.

[A]

Yeah, I said hello and we said hi and stuff, but I was playing golf with, like the boys.

[B]

So how'd it go?

[A]

It was good. It was fun. I didn't play well, but it was a really nice course because it was hot. Unreal. It was 97 degrees.

[B]

I couldn't believe that you were golfing in that heat.

[A]

It was so warm out. And Matt was carrying around my stream camera.

[B]

I know.

[A]

So Matt had his, like, you know, 10, 15 pound camera in his hand, a backpack on with like batteries, which is pretty much just that built in heater. So he's got a built in heater sitting on his backpack, just drenching him, walking around everywhere. Eventually I was like, dude, let me take my golf towel that I used to clean my dirty clubs. I'm gonna soak it in this ice bucket for you and you're gonna put it under your hat.

[B]

When you guys showed up, I was like, he's gonna throw up all over himself.

[A]

He was warm. But I made sure I was. I was force feeding him. Like, I was like, you got to drink water.

[B]

You put. You put him to work.

[A]

Yeah, of course. That's his job.

[B]

Diva.

[A]

He's got to do his job.

[B]

Diva.

[A]

He's got to do his job. What are we talking about here?

[B]

You know what? You are a diva.

[A]

All right?

[B]

I think you actually are. Do you think you're a diva?

[A]

Maybe a little bit. Maybe a little bit.

[B]

A little bit. Also, before the pod, Hannah is Like our social media producer. Right. Call it that. Call it what it is. And Josh has known her for four or five years.

[A]

Yeah, a while. For sure.

[B]

For definitely at least four years. And her name and his phone. Wrong last name. And maybe 16 texts unanswered.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And you know, I'll say that I'm gonna get better at it, but I'm not.

[B]

You're not.

[A]

So why, why feed you guys those lies?

[B]

Yeah, it's true.

[A]

You know what I mean? I. I will learn your last name. No, it's. I feel like that's important. I was very close, by the way.

[B]

You're close. All right, guys, quick commercial break. So whether you're about simple mascara, gloss or you love to play with bold shapes and colors, there's always a trusty favorite used for every look. So Thrive cosmetics makes certified 100% vegan, cruelty free products that you can depend on for everything. For simple daily wear, you can wear show stopping self expression. This is the best part about Thrive Cosmetics is all made with clean skin loving ingredients, high performance and trademark formulas and uncompromising standards. So you're not going to break out. You know what you're putting on your skin. There's not all the crazy ingredients in it. I personally love the mascara. It's awesome. It's like the tubing one where you can peel it off and it doesn't smudge at all. It's the best. You can try the new trusty favorites with an exclusive set for our listeners. New customers can get the Liquid Eyelash Extensions mascara, a mini size brilliant eye brightener at a special set price with free shipping. Available at thrivecosmetics.com BFFS or you can save more than 20% off your first order at thrivescosmetics.com BFFS that's Thrive Cosmetics. C A U S E M E t I c s.com BFFs for 20 off your first order. It's the best. Make sure to go check it out. I've been wearing their mascara all weekend. Did you see JoJo Siwa getting wrecked on fucking Big Brother? No, by Mickey. I don't know who this Mickey guy is, but he hates gay people.

[A]

Mickey, the one with a bunch of tattoos and everything like that?

[B]

No, the guy with his face is melting off. Get eyes on this. He's just. I don't know who he is.

[A]

Melting off.

[B]

Once I show you, you'll be like.

[A]

I was faced with this guy in a freezer.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, let's look. Mickey Big JoJo Siwa.

[A]

Mickey Roy we were talking about a different Mickey, and I was like, that does not sound like the Mickey I know.

[B]

That's what he looks like.

[A]

So I was. He just asked her where the cigarette.

[B]

No, that was the wrong video. But he, like. He was basically just making fun of her for being a lesbian. And you know what he said? Give me. Give me a night with you, and I can guarantee you won't be a lesbian anymore. Like, 75, disturbing disgust.

[A]

I feel like, insane. She was still. I know she's like, I guess maybe older now, but in my mind, Joja, she was 14 years old forever.

[B]

Yeah, she is 114.

[A]

Say that.

[B]

I mean, that's insin. That's insinuating that you're going to, like, assault her?

[A]

No, I don't know if that's what it means.

[B]

I think give me one night.

[A]

And I was trying to say it's one of those, like, weird, like, egotistical guys that thinks, like, maybe they just are gonna give incredible dick and turn a lesbian straight.

[B]

That guy's pumping out incredible dick.

[A]

I've never experienced it. I can't speak for. You know.

[B]

I feel like he doesn't even have a dick. He has. He just has two sets of balls.

[A]

Two, like, four nuts.

[B]

Four nuts. No dick.

[A]

Four nuts, no dick.

[B]

No dick.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

Right. Can't you see that?

[A]

I mean, yeah, sure. I. I don't really want.

[B]

I don't want to have sex with him.

[A]

And that's a good thing, Bri. It's.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Good thing we found your bar. That's low. But we found it.

[B]

We found it. Surely did.

[A]

Really low.

[B]

Well, yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

I'm just having fun in my Coachella. Having a good time.

[A]

Yeah. So any guys out here for you this week or what?

[B]

No.

[A]

Good.

[B]

Absolutely not.

[A]

I heard you talking about the other night.

[B]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[A]

Can I not name drop that? Sometimes I don't know what I'm about to name drop.

[B]

Not even his last name? What? How'd you hear me talking about him?

[A]

I just overheard it in the background. You're talking to Gabby and Grace, and you were saying how you needed.

[B]

Okay. Okay. What are you about to.

[A]

Time to experience if you actually liked him or not or something like that.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

No, and, like, you needed to maybe get with other guys to see if you had a real connection with.

[B]

That is not what I said.

[A]

It was something close to that.

[B]

Do you want to know what I actually said?

[A]

If it's less exciting than what I said. Probably not.

[B]

I said no. No.

[A]

What do you Say okay.

[B]

It. I said that. Like, I was. This is mean. Not to him. This is mean to someone else, though. Oh, well, okay. I. I don't want to talk about this. I. Yeah, I love him, but I think he's, like, my best friend, and I love him, and I think one day we're gonna get married.

[A]

Who?

[B]

Yeah, we're bleeping the name.

[A]

Yeah. But I'm trying to figure out who you're talking about.

[B]

Yes. Yes. I think we are in love, but I also think I just want to be friends first, because, like I said, last weekend, emotionally unavailable, you were me.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

But, yeah, you did overhear that conversation. Stop eavesdropping on me.

[A]

It's not really much of an eavesdrop when you guys are shouting and you're right behind me.

[B]

It's loud.

[A]

I know. I'm just saying it's loud.

[B]

It's a concert.

[A]

My eyes, always loud. I think whenever I leave Coachella, I feel like my underwater still. Yeah, exactly what it is.

[B]

I came here with an ear infection, and my ears keep, like, popping. I think I have to get a hearing aid after this. Oh, it's gonna stink.

[A]

Yeah, it is. Am I making fun of you so much?

[B]

Why? You make fun of people with hearings.

[A]

No, but you're, like, 27, and you're gonna get a hearing aid.

[B]

Literally 25. Literally 25. What? You're a diva and you suck. So whatever. You're actually the worst. I can't wait to throw up on you. I'm gonna throw up on Josh. Should I throw up on Josh for the podcast? Spam in the chat. Are you gonna live stream today?

[A]

No, I can't today, sadly. Just because I have, like, other events. I gotta go. Oh, my God. That's a blimp.

[B]

Yeah, it's been. It's been there all the whole time.

[A]

Just in that one singular spot.

[B]

Aco Chella was like, that blimp is.

[A]

No, it's moving. I'm watching it move right now, but it, like, circles.

[B]

It circles like a crow.

[A]

Okay, that's a Goodyear blimp. What, is there only, like, 18 of those in the world or something like that? Right? Is that the number?

[B]

Remember that? Remember the Hindenburg blew up. That was tragic.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

I'm just saying that's. Every time I see a blimp, all I think of is the Hindenburg.

[A]

20 to 25. There's only 25 in the sky at once. Or are you saying there's only 20 to 25 still in existence? Wow.

[B]

How many people do you think are in a blimp at a time?

[A]

Cuz it's only a little piece in three.

[B]

That's a, that's a, an above water submarine.

[A]

So you don't really like. It's not like you're in the spot where there's all that air.

[B]

No, you're in that little piece at the bottom. It's just like a little like cockpit, I would assume. Actually really curious what the inside of a blimp looks like.

[A]

I feel like.

[B]

You think it's just a bunch of seats, like a bus?

[A]

No, I, I, I don't know.

[B]

Hey Siri, what's a blimp look like?

[A]

I feel like it's more similar to like a helicopter cockpit. Oh, that was my idea. Oh.

[B]

Why is it showing me what blimps look like? Yeah, inside of a blimp.

[A]

I want to see the, the, what.

[B]

Does the inside of a blimp look like? Like. Oh, it's a private jet. No way. What blimp is that? That's a Goodyear blimp.

[A]

So were they trying to create. That's a Dubai was. What, what was the idea behind it? They were trying to make like a new way to travel luxuriously. Yeah.

[B]

What is the point of a blimp?

[A]

They're just trying to travel luxurious travel. Wanted something different than a plane.

[B]

It was like for people like you and Santos.

[A]

Facts. Thousand on the wrist. Thousand on the wrist. Oh yeah.

[B]

Well, I wonder if like people are up there right now having fun.

[A]

Someone's got to be controlling it, Jeff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You gotta have a pilot.

[B]

Gotta have a pilot. But I feel like it just floats and there's just like a joystick.

[A]

I'm gonna say it's probably a little bit more complicated than that.

[B]

Probably 100. But in my head it's chill.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you got any acid?

[A]

No, no, no. Took all of it. He mugged me last night. Took all of it.

[B]

I'm like really sad that he's gone, but it's like a weight off my shoulders. I would just have to.

[A]

You know, it's like a friend that you kind of got to make sure doesn't run away randomly.

[B]

Liability.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I said that I was gonna put an air tag on him, but I forgot it. We got walkie talkies. I put one in his pocket. He like threw it away.

[A]

Oh, well.

[B]

And we got in yesterday. We got into the festival right at. You know how in the beginning there's the Ferris wheel, like right when you walk in. Yeah, we lost him at the Ferris wheel.

[A]

Oof.

[B]

Guess what found us all the way in vip. He found us somehow. And he came over with six drinks with his mouth wide open.

[A]

I just never could be the person that just, like, wanders aimlessly through a festival. No friends. Just let me ditch my friends. I'm just gonna wander around for what, three hours? And I'll find you. If I find you, it's great.

[B]

I like, something in me wishes I could be that person because it's so, like, carefree. Love the world in life. Yeah, I couldn't do that.

[A]

I just don't have enough love for the game.

[B]

Yeah, I need to. I like, need to be with my friends 100%. Have to be cracking up. Who's the. Did you see Timothy Chalamet?

[A]

No.

[B]

Me either. Dying to see him.

[A]

Dang. I did see Travis Scott perform the song that he wrote for Kylie and Kylie and Timothy are there. And I was like, oh, that's gotta hurt.

[B]

No way. They stay. Wait.

[A]

No way.

[B]

He has a bunch of babies with her.

[A]

Yeah. Like a couple. I don't know if it's a bunch, but I think it's like, at least two. I think it's two.

[B]

That's just a couple.

[A]

Yeah, it's only a couple.

[B]

Stormy in rain. Stormy.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Tyga.

[A]

Tyga's not there. No.

[B]

What is the other baby's name? Rain Cloud.

[A]

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[B]

I'm not gonna do acid tonight.

[A]

No, I mean, I'm not ever.

[B]

Yeah, I would. I don't know why. I just would Wanted to say that.

[A]

No, it's good. Let's establish it.

[B]

Everyone thinks I do so many drugs, and I'm like, no, it's just every time we say his name, we have to bleep it. It's so many times.

[A]

Half this podcast is gonna get bleeped out.

[B]

Half this podcast is gonna get. Whoa. Cops are here.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. Did you go to the Nylon party?

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

We've done no after parties, actually.

[B]

Actually, I know. I went to.

[A]

We keep going home, ordering a bunch of McDonald's, watching Zach and Cody. Sweet life is Zach, Cody and on deck.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then going to bed. That's what our nightly routine has been. Go to the shows until there's, like, the last main stage performer. Go home, McDonald's. Zach and Cody.

[B]

Yeah, that's what we're doing here. Come home, McDonald's. But then we just boil in the hot tub until the sun comes up.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Yeah. Little different.

[A]

Little different.

[B]

Little different. Same vibes, though.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm actually. I'm excited tonight. Everyone's feet that I'm with are bleeding so bad.

[A]

Yeah, I've been. I mean, I feel like it's a lot easier when you're a guy to not have to run into the. Yeah, you can just wear sneakers. You know, girls want to be able to wear, like, the cowboy boots or, like, maybe there's like, a little heel involved or whatever, but that just seems crazy.

[B]

So there's, like, pickleball courts on either side, and we were playing pickleball the other day, one before we got to the festival, so one of my friends was pickleball. Ended up having a blast.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Third degree burns on the bottom of his feet before the festival.

[A]

Now it's chosen cuz, like, the asphalt was so hot.

[B]

What his feet look like. Gosh, I don't even think you're. You're ready for this.

[A]

Is it, like, red and blistering and gooey?

[B]

Josh, it is so fucking bad. And he was, like, the most excited one for Coachella. His feet are raw.

[A]

Ish.

[B]

Shocking.

[A]

How did he not know that was happening while on the court?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Like, that looks like he, like, stepped on a frying pan, Honestly.

[B]

Trigger warning. We're gonna insert a picture. I don't understand.

[A]

Massive trigger.

[B]

And he wasn't even.

[A]

Look away.

[B]

He wasn't even drinking yet. Like, it was like. It was 10am Right?

[A]

There was, like, nothing numbing the pain?

[B]

No, he was just literally burning his feet alive. You know what he is or something.

[A]

What's that that they give you to, like, numb yourself?

[B]

Totally. Narcan is for when you overdose on fentanyl.

[A]

Well, I might need Narcan for that third degree burn.

[B]

I mean, that needs Narcan.

[A]

Yeah, probably.

[B]

That is totally.

[A]

What's that stuff? Liquidane, Lidocaine.

[B]

Dwayne, the rock joke.

[A]

There we go. Thank you.

[B]

Liquid Liquidane.

[A]

See, I'm just. I've just never had to numb anything.

[B]

Can't believe you were hanging out with a rock.

[A]

Yeah, it wasn't him.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

It was Dwyane Wade. But it was cool.

[B]

Should we do. Should we do pranks? Like, we tell each other one thing that we have to do at Coachella tonight and see if we can finish it?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Okay. What should we do? Well, you have to take acid.

[A]

No.

[B]

With Blake.

[A]

Yeah, Me and Blake Gray are gonna run around, mouths wide open. Gosh. What's a good.

[B]

Oh, let's just see if we can tabletop someone.

[A]

What is with you and physically harming others?

[B]

I've never done it.

[A]

I know, but what is the drive? You want to ball tap? You want a tabletop?

[B]

No. Ball tap. Because, like, I ball tap all my best friends. Friends never ball tapped you. I've actually never ball tapped anyone. It's like an ongoing joke because I cr. I didn't crush. And I was like, oh, my God, I might as well have just ball tapped, and that's how bad I fumbled that.

[A]

That's hilarious.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Super funny inside joke.

[B]

Honestly, it is. I've been cracking up all weekend. Sorry that you don't like to have fun and crack up.

[A]

Is it just an inside joke for yourself, or do you, like.

[B]

Yeah. I have so many inside jokes with.

[A]

Myself or other people in on it.

[B]

There's about 14 people in on it.

[A]

14 people are in on.

[B]

I didn't even start this joke. Hannah did. Don't talk to her, though. She'll make you cry.

[A]

Yeah, she will. I'm not even gonna look at her.

[B]

All right, so we won't tabletop anyone.

[A]

No, we can't be doing that.

[B]

I wasn't gonna tabletop random people. I was just gonna, like, tabletop you when you least expect it. Would you be mad at me if.

[A]

You somehow found a way to tabletop me? I'll let it slide.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You won't be mad at me, diva.

[A]

I mean, I'm probably not Gonna be overly thrilled that I just got pushed over a human body and probably whiplash my head against the ground, but I.

[B]

Won'T do it on. Okay. Okay. You can do it to me too.

[A]

All right.

[B]

All right, let's see who could tabletop.

[A]

See who can tabletop the other person first without it being noticed.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah. Like, we're, like, talking.

[A]

Yeah. If I, like, turn around and see you before.

[B]

If we catch, then it doesn't count.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It has to be, like, completely unknowing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Tabletop.

[A]

Okay. I like it.

[B]

All right, but are you gonna get on the ground? Are you gonna push?

[A]

I guess I think it can be either. Or whatever you think is gonna get the person tricked.

[B]

Probably. If we're on the ground, we'll see, because we're like, oh, no way. Someone's behind me, and someone's gonna push me, and I'm gonna fall on my head.

[A]

I guess we'll have to wait and see.

[B]

I guess. I can't wait to tabletop you.

[A]

This going to go really bad.

[B]

Yeah, someone's going to get hurt. Yeah, someone's going to get hurt. I can't wear a skirt. I'm going to get tabletopped.

[A]

Was that the plan for your outfit today?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Seriously, I got so focus here. I was like, who is this?

[A]

I was about to punch.

[B]

I thought you had a joke, and I didn't want to be.

[A]

No, I was about to punch in the face. I thought you were a random person.

[B]

Now, actually, would it be crazy if I just wore this shirt?

[A]

Probably a little bit crazy.

[B]

I have my Boston shirt on. I'm so sick and tired of getting dressed up for Coachella.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it's kind of easy when you're a guy. I just wear jeans.

[B]

And where are these from? Kind of want them. These are homie fem. Uptown for life.

[A]

Wait a second.

[B]

He's checking his undies. You don't have undies on.

[A]

No, I do. I was trying to test the tag, you freak. Where is the tag of the pants?

[B]

How are you gonna be able to see it? What the hell? Let that coochie breathe. I think it has to be home. Like, it says it everywhere.

[A]

You think they're called H o m.

[B]

M e. It's like saying it everywhere. All over your pants. It has to be the brand.

[A]

Maybe they're home.

[B]

Do you guys like his outfit? Rate at 1 to 10. Jesus. Anywhere Josh is not wearing underwear with jeans.

[A]

Talking about, what the. All right. I don't know. I don't know, somebody tag the brand.

[B]

It's home. It has to be.

[A]

I don't think it is.

[B]

Backseat Bandit.

[A]

See, there's a lot of on here.

[B]

There's a lot of. But home is like the. It's a reoccurring theme, you know? You know how I saw.

[A]

Very cool.

[B]

You know, I saw yesterday. Do you know Terry Joe.

[A]

Oh, it is home.

[B]

I told you.

[A]

I see a button, it says Om Femme on it.

[B]

Everyone. Literally. That was the first thing I said, like 10 minutes.

[A]

I think that just means man. Girl in French.

[B]

Oh, no. Yeah, in French.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And Spanish doesn't mean that.

[A]

Well, I would assume they're different languages.

[B]

I know. I thought you were thinking of. How do you say.

[A]

How do you say brother in Spanish?

[B]

Hermosa is sister.

[A]

Oh, brother. That's probably not it, right, hombre? Oh, what's up, homes? That's what it is. It's homes.

[B]

That's why. Yeah. Femme is like. Yeah, girl.

[A]

Cool. Yeah, Sweet.

[B]

My ears hurt so bad and I keep looking at that light and then looking at you and almost fainting.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, we do have incredibly bright lights. Where do you guys get these things? Oh, that's cool.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right, right, right.

[B]

Pretty cool. Wow. We got three camps.

[A]

Great answer.

[B]

Should we do BFFs after dark tonight? If we make it back.

[A]

If we make it back. I could. I could swing that. Maybe.

[B]

Should we bring someone on?

[A]

I think I have to stay up because I think I leave at like 5am to go.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, we got a film. I have to film my sketch show on Tuesday. So I want to get back and be back every day. You know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, but you. You have like a 20 minute flight. You live here.

[A]

Yeah, but the only time we'd be able to fly out is like 7pm, so I don't want to get back to my house at like 8:30.

[B]

You're doing that private jet stuff we have like that.

[A]

Yeah, we have like the.

[B]

Must be nice.

[A]

It's cool.

[B]

It's pretty cool.

[A]

But yeah, no, I got to get back. We got this Read the Room going.

[B]

Yeah. So we're so back with Read the Room.

[A]

So back.

[B]

Still waiting to be put in a sketch.

[A]

Yeah, I know. I'm just waiting for you to get funnier.

[B]

I think I've actually been crushing this pod.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

I'm cracking up. No, I don't know about you guys. I'm cracking up. Honestly, all that matters is I'm cracking up.

[A]

Yeah, you're a funny person.

[B]

You think I'M funny.

[A]

Yeah, I think you're funny.

[B]

Swear to God. Oh, shut up, you crack. You've been cracking her up.

[A]

No, you're funny.

[B]

Thank you. Yeah, that's all I got. So please give me that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Thank you. Please. Absolutely need that. All I got. The back of my thighs are sweating so much. It's crazy. Feeling good, though. Probably gonna hop in the pool. I've been getting my hair done at 9am every morning.

[A]

I was gonna say, like, how have you kept this going?

[B]

I keep getting my hair done. This is my makeup from yesterday. The setting spray girls and boys. The one size setting spray works charms.

[A]

This is the same makeup on since like Thursday.

[B]

No, I do my makeup every morning, but I sleep in it every night. Okay, so I wake up and it's still on.

[A]

Is that why? And then take a bit of lipstick on your teeth.

[B]

Do I actually, I think you got this whole podcast.

[A]

I think you got it off.

[B]

The mic's covering it. That's.

[A]

That's okay. The mic covered it.

[B]

The mic covered it yesterday.

[A]

I didn't even notice it until right now.

[B]

Okay, well, literally, someone at the festival yesterday was like, you have lipstick all over your teeth. And I'm like, I've been here for five hours.

[A]

Well, I would put my lips so.

[B]

Long ago to me.

[A]

I would way rather someone call me out for that.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

Like, if I had like a booger on my nose, I hope someone be like. Like a real friend would be like, yo, bro, you got a booger on your nose. Yeah, like a bad friend would just let you walk around with that.

[B]

It's not a friend. That's a foe.

[A]

That's a terrible person, man.

[B]

That is not.

[A]

That's a terrible. If I don't know someone super well, sometimes I get a little like, oh, I.

[B]

Sometimes. So I just try to.

[A]

I'll just try to signal. I'll just be like. I'll start just doing that a little bit. Just be like.

[B]

And it looks like you're.

[A]

And then I'm like waiting. I'm waiting. I'm like trying to like signal them to like, come on, bro. And you start wipe your nose. Wipe your nose. Because sometimes when you do that, people will like just like instinctively be like. Like, you know what I'm saying? Yeah. And if that doesn't work, then I'm like, hey, I know we just met.

[B]

They have a big fat, huge booger.

[A]

I know we just met, but that I can't get past this massive booger. Then you ball out of your nose and then you know, they wipe it, and we're close.

[B]

You know what is crazy? The I, like, everyone obviously talks about Coachella and how you have to walk so much. I don't know. I just don't believe anything and. Or I just. I think I underestimated how much you have to walk. You have to walk in. I don't understand why there's not, like, a VIP entrance.

[A]

Yeah, well, there's always, like, because you.

[B]

Have to walk through the campsites. Two miles.

[A]

Yeah. It's ridiculous. Ridiculous.

[B]

It's actually in, like. I know it's like. It sounds like first world problems or whatever, but it is. We pay so much for the tickets. You would think there would be, like, a side entrance or something, because you have to walk two miles to get to the festival through the campsite.

[A]

I've always found, like, also, like, I'm sure it's crazy, right? Like, for the employees and the people, like, at the different gates.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I'm sure it's nuts for them, and they've been told 50 different things, but it always feels like nobody knows where the entrance.

[B]

I know.

[A]

You walk around and be like, hey, which way? To, like, get to the closest entry point, and you'll start walking. You'll walk half a mile to a mile. You'll get there, and you'll be like, hey, do you guys know where the entry? And they'll be like, oh, it's back that way. And I just walked a mile the opposite way. What are you talking about, Josh?

[B]

Last night, after, like, so when you leave Coachella, you have to walk to wherever the. The meeting point is to get, like, your car or whatever. Yeah, but we walked. So we walked, like, all the way to the front, and we can see the bus. They're like, this is blocked off. We had to walk around. I'm not joking. The whole entire festival, which is like 70 acres. We had to walk all the way around. 70 acres. No, like, my feet. My feet. Because they were bleeding. It was. And we were walking through sand. I'm like, you know when you're walking on the beach, like, for one second and it hurts?

[A]

It's a calf burn.

[B]

Walking on the beach in heels for five miles, I just kept saying. I just. Everyone was really down bad, like, crying. There were people crying, and I was like, guys, wow. We are so lucky to have legs. A lot of people don't. Just please be grateful for these legs right now, please. We gotta look at this glass half full. We have to get to this bus.

[A]

Yeah, but, you know, started Dropping like.

[B]

Fries and crying on the ground.

[A]

To just look at the other side of it would probably be a lot less tiresome to get wheeled out of there.

[B]

Oh, my God. Yeah. There was a guy that broke his leg yesterday at Coachella and then came back in a wheelchair with a cat.

[A]

His friend have to push him around everywhere. He's probably gonna have a way better time.

[B]

Everyone left him. He was there in the same spot the whole entire time. He's like, yeah, no one's really coming back for me.

[A]

That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

[B]

I know. He was a smoke show too. And he was like, yeah, my wife's at the bar.

[A]

And then you were like, wow. Right? And you pushed him off a cliff.

[B]

Pretty much. Nice ball tapped him to hell.

[A]

You're like, that sucks. Like, I guess you won't be using this anymore because you're in a wheelchair. He's like, I just broke my leg. What are you talking about?

[B]

I take the wheelchair.

[A]

You pour hot coffee on his genitals.

[B]

I throw up all myself.

[A]

How much do you think you walked that day?

[B]

Oh, should we look at ourselves?

[A]

Yeah. I was just about to say. I want to look and see what is my average distance or which day did I walk the most.

[B]

Yeah, health. Mine has to be yesterday.

[A]

I gotta think it was a pretty. It was pretty big days since we've been here.

[B]

I did 7,000 steps at midnight.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Just midnight alone.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

That is bizarre. Total.

[A]

I did.

[B]

I did 17,000.

[A]

Wait, are you looking at miles walked, or are you looking at just your steps days?

[B]

Yeah, yesterday alone, I did 17,000.

[A]

Okay, I. I don't see the steps. I see my miles. Yesterday I walked 7.5 miles. Wait, how do you do miles walking plus running distance?

[B]

No, no, I'm saying it's like the tab.

[A]

That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

How do you not have that?

[B]

Wait, I don't. Can you look for me? I really. I'm curious how many miles I did. I feel like I have boogers.

[A]

Walking plus running distance. That was like, the easiest thing I've ever done. You walked 3.1 miles yesterday. You walked eight miles, though, on Saturday.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Eight miles.

[B]

I think I had to have walked eight miles yesterday. I walked way more yesterday.

[A]

3.1 miles.

[B]

Oh, my phone died.

[A]

Well, there you go. Yeah, there you go. Eight miles. That's a lot of walking.

[B]

That's a lot of walking.

[A]

A lot of walking back and forth. And through sand. That's the thing.

[B]

Through sand. And it's 100 degrees out.

[A]

Yeah, 100 degrees every single day, so. And that's not even an exaggeration. No, it actually was 1 00.

[B]

The first day was 103 degrees. Yeah, it was actually insane. But the thing about this is it's dry heat, so it's not so bad.

[A]

I mean, I would rather have 100, I guess, degree heat in a dry area than humid area, but still 100 degrees still.

[B]

I mean, like I said, dripping sweat right now. Absolutely dripping sweat. Well, Coachella's been fun.

[A]

Coachella.

[B]

Are we gonna hang out tonight?

[A]

I'll think about it.

[B]

Okay. Well, I'm hanging out with Gabby. I don't know about you. All right, do you guys want Gabby on the pod? Text her and tell her to come on the pod.

[A]

Yeah. Guys, all of you that have her number, make sure you text my girlfriend and say, come on the podcast. She was so tired this morning. She was so down bad.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I think she was just like, gosh, I'm starting to, like, feel a little sick now. Like, the throat is, you know, raw.

[B]

It's possible.

[A]

And, like, all of that stuff is just, like, three days of being here. You get a little tired on the last.

[B]

You get a little tired. Are you coming next weekend?

[A]

Next weekend is weekend, too. No, no, that's Easter.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

I'm gonna be. I'm gonna be with my dad.

[B]

Are you going back to Canada?

[A]

No, he's coming out to la. My lovely girlfriend, Gabby, she got a golf kind of weekend for me and my dad.

[B]

Is just. Your dad coming?

[A]

Yeah, just my dad coming. Just my dad coming. My mom and my brother came last time, so they usually kind of alternate who comes.

[B]

Are you ever going to see your deported sister again?

[A]

I mean, hopefully soon. It seems like we're getting closer and closer to getting her back in the country, so. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I thought it was going to be, like, year.

[A]

No, it's looking pretty good right now.

[B]

So let's go, Olivia.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Hopefully next time that I'm around Brielson, hopefully Olivia is with me.

[A]

Yeah. Man, she'll go nuts. Yeah, she'll get to port it again.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, that's a problem, actually. Yeah. I hope she's not around me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

All right. I'm gonna go swimming.

[A]

All right. I'm gonna go back to my house, I guess.

[B]

Okay, cool. It was nice talking to you.

[A]

You, too.

[B]

Yeah. Bye, guys.

[A]

Let's do this again sometime.

[B]

We should do it every week. Every Tuesday. Should we record?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Okay. I think we. I think we're best friends.

[A]

I wouldn't go that far, but I think, you know, if you throw an old man in the mix. We got a podcast.

[B]

Yeah. Well, let's find our next. All right. Bye, guys.

[A]

See ya.