Could this hurt be your refining?

God often uses the pain we experience in the church to shape us into more humble, compassionate, and Christlike leaders.

In this honest conversation, Pastor Mark Carter and co-host Erica Adkins dive into one of the most sensitive topics in church life—church hurt. Whether you’ve been wounded by leaders, overlooked, or misunderstood, this episode reframes your pain as part of God’s refining process. They unpack Hebrews 12, exploring how endurance through hardship develops Christlike character and how leaders can walk through hurt without running from God’s discipline.

📋 Key Takeaways

Endure hardship as discipline. (Hebrews 12:7) God isn’t punishing you—He’s parenting you into maturity.
Church hurt and God’s refining discipline often overlap. Even when others wrong you, God can use that pain to form Christlike endurance.
Don’t waste the trial. Running from discomfort may forfeit the growth and healing God wants to bring.
Think humbly, not just act humbly. Learn to see yourself and others through a humble, grace-filled lens.
Leaders model endurance. How you respond to pain teaches your team and congregation how to follow Jesus through difficulty.
Healing is your responsibility. Others may have hurt you, but you’re responsible to draw near to Jesus and let Him heal you.
Stay near to Christ. True healing and transformation happen only in His presence and through His Word.

💬 Quotes & Soundbites

“Endure hardship as discipline. God’s not punishing you—He’s forming you into someone who can help others heal.” – Mark Carter

“Running from discipline keeps us from growth, but endurance forms Christlike character.” – Erica Adkins

“If you want to be more helpful to people, you have to embrace the hard things that make you more like Jesus.” – Mark Carter

“You never know what future version of you depends on getting healed right now.” – Mark Carter

🕐 Timestamps

00:00–03:00 – Introduction: What is “church hurt”?
03:00–07:00 – Understanding discipline from Hebrews 12
07:00–10:30 – The danger of running from pain
10:30–15:00 – Endurance and humility as leadership formation
15:00–20:00 – Why we’re surprised when pain shows up in church
20:00–25:00 – God’s sovereignty in suffering
25:00–35:00 – How to walk with others through church hurt
35:00–43:00 – Healing, responsibility, and future fruitfulness

📖 Scripture Tie-Ins

Hebrews 12:7 – “Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children.”
John 12:24 – “Unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”
Romans 8:28–29 – “God works all things together for good… to conform us to the image of His Son.”
Genesis 50:20 – “You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good.”
Psalm 34:18 – “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted.”

🛠️ Next Steps

Reflect:

Where have you experienced “church hurt”?
What might God be refining in you through that pain?
Are you running from something He wants to use to grow you?

Journal Prompts:

“What does endurance look like for me right now?”
“Where is God inviting me to think humbly instead of defensively?”
“Who might need to see my faithfulness under pressure?”

Pray:

Ask God to help you interpret hardship as His loving discipline, not rejection. Invite Him to heal the wounds that still shape how you lead and love others.

Resources Mentioned:

Hebrews 12 Study
Planted, Not Buried by Pastor Mike Todd of Transformation Church
Try Not to Run, Sermon Series by Pastor Carter of Fierce Church