← Bill Monty's Guide For Getting Older: Aging, Living Well, and What Comes Next
Bill Monty's Guide For Getting Older: Aging, Living Well, and What Comes Next
A God of Your Understanding: AA, Aging and Daylight Savings Time
00:22:01
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Welcome to Bill Monti's Guide for Getting Older. I'm your host, Bill Monte. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for hitting that play button. On today's episode, I'm going to talk about something that most podcast gurus would tell me not to talk about. Basically, there are three rules. Kind of like Thanksgiving dinner with the family. Don't talk about personal issues, don't talk about politics, and don't talk about religion. Well, I've already broken two of those many episodes ago. So today I'm probably going to break the rule about the third one because we're going to talk about religion. Let's get started.
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Welcome to Bill Monte's Guide for Getting Older.
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Let me begin this by saying that the point of this episode is not to change anyone's idea about religion, about God, or anything else. I. I believe that every person has the right to believe whatever they want, to practice whatever they want, as long as it doesn't harm anyone else. But where this fits into a Guide for Getting Older is that one of the things that you begin to think about a lot more as you age is God. No matter what you believed when you were younger, and I have gone back and forth many times, there comes a point when you realize that you're getting a lot closer to finding out the answer to the question, is there a God, is there a heaven, etc. Than you used to be. This particular discussion came about as I was speaking with a friend. I'm not going to say a lot about them because I don't want to reveal too much, but my friend is a recovering alcoholic. They went to Alcoholics Anonymous in order to turn their life around, which this person has done amazingly well. We were talking about God and about the program that he went through. And as he was telling me about the 12 steps, he mentioned the one about surrendering to God. And I said, well, I guess if I ever had to do that, I would be in trouble because I don't really believe in God, not in the traditional sense, not in the biblical sense of God. And they said, honestly, really, neither do I. The beauty of AA is that it requires you to believe in a God of your understanding and to turn over your problems to that belief. I was a little puzzled by this, and I'm like, well, what do you mean? So you can just make it up, a God of your understanding? And they explained, yes, so you can believe God to be many, many things. As they explained this more and more to me, I came to understand that there's a way to make this work for us as we age. Now, look, here's the truth. If you're an atheist, there's nothing that can be said that's going to convince you that there is anything more than what we live from the day we're born until the day we die. And I'm not saying you're wrong or you're right again. Whatever you believe, whatever gets you through the night, as John Lennon once said, that's fine. That's fine with me. In Alcoholics Anonymous, there are 12 steps. And early in those steps is the idea of turning to a higher power. The thing is that, as my friend was telling me, AA does not tell you what that higher power must be. It isn't specific. It does not insist on a specific church or a specific religion or even a specific image of God. What it does is it offers something much simpler, a God of your understanding. In other words, your relationship with the idea of something greater than yourself is personal. So it's yours to explore. It's yours to define. And that idea has helped millions of people recover their lives. It also holds wisdom for anyone who is navigating the later chapters of life as we are when we're younger. I've talked about this in the last episode and before. We tend to believe that life will stretch out forever, right? Future is endless. There's always more time. As we get older, something changes. Not in a frightening way, frankly, in a more honest way. But we understand that life is finite. We've seen more beginnings than endings. Our friends are passing away, our parents are gone. Colleagues disappear from our daily lives. We gradually realize that we're getting closer to that mysterious doorway, ourselves. And when that realization arrives, a lot of us begin asking deeper questions, like, what do I believe? What do I hope for? And is there something beyond this life? Or is this life the entire story? These questions don't belong only to religion. They belong to being human. Now, for me, in my discussion with my friend, here's where the. The AA idea becomes incredibly freeing. You do not have to accept someone else's version of God. You don't have to accept churches. You don't have to accept whatever it might be. You can explore your own understanding because, all right, for some people, God is the traditional figure described in the Bible. For others, I kind of fall into this category. God is simply the force that created the universe. Some people see God in nature, in the ocean, in the sunrise, the sunset. Others see God in human kindness and compassion, in the way people show up for one another during difficult times. And some. I know people like this. Some people don't even like the word God. They like to call it the universe or the spirit or the great mystery. And that's okay, because the real point of the idea is not the name. The point is humility. And recognizing that we, the human race, we're not the center of the universe. And that something larger than ourselves might be guiding the story. Okay, so you might be wondering, that's an interesting philosophy, Bill, but what does it actually do for us? Well, I think it does quite a lot. Because believing in something greater than ourselves can lead to several powerful shifts in the way we think. First, it relieves us of the illusion of total control. I know when I was younger, I believed that if I just worked harder, I planned better, I pushed more, I could control everything. Well, my friends, I'm here to tell you, as you probably know, life eventually proves otherwise. Things happen that we never thought about, we never expected, like illness, loss, economic changes, family struggles. Recognizing that higher power, whatever it means to you, can help us let go of the need to control everything. And when we let go of that burden, something interesting happens. And I can say this is true for me. Peace begins to enter the room. There's a famous prayer often associated with recovery programs. And I asked my friend about this, and they verified it. And you may have heard it before. I first saw it on a poster in a Spencer's gift store in the mall. Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. That little piece of wisdom contains a lifetime of learning. Because as we get older, aging teaches us something very important. We can't control everything, but we can control how we respond to life. And that's where spirituality, however you define it, can become incredibly helpful. When you believe that the world has meaning beyond your immediate understanding, you worry a little less, you forgive, perhaps more, you hold on to anger a little less tightly. I'm still working on that one. And you begin to develop something very valuable. Serenity. Another interesting thing that happens when people adopt the idea of just a higher power. They often become more willing to help others. Why? Because humility leads to empathy. If we recognize we're all navigating the same mysterious journey. We're all in this boat together. We're all rowing together. No matter what people think about everything else. We're all on this little mud ball called earth together. And if we realize that, then suddenly other people's struggles make more sense. The person at the Grocery store who seems impatient. That's me, by the way. The neighbor who appears distant, the friend who's going through a difficult time. Everybody is carrying something. And when we believe there's a larger story unfolding, we often feel called to be a part of the solution rather than a part of the problem. Helping others becomes a natural extension of inner peace. Now, look, since this show is about aging, here's the truth, and this idea is valuable. I don't care how old you are. Young people face enormous pressure today. I think more so than when I was younger. Career pressure, financial pressure, social pressure. They feel like they must solve everything themselves. The concept of a higher power, of your own understanding, not anybody else's, can provide relief from that weight. That's what I think. That's what I believe. That's what I know from my own experience. All of this reminds us that life isn't just a series of problems to solve. It's also a journey to experience. And sometimes the best thing we can do is simply participate in the adventure with curiosity, humility, and, as I remind us at the end of each episode, kindness. Life tends to become simpler in its lessons as we age. Not easier, necessarily, but clearer. Older adults eventually arrive at a few core truths. Love matters, kindness matters. Forgiveness matters. And worrying about things we cannot control really doesn't matter. A spiritual framework, whatever that looks like for you. Again, I'm not preaching anything here about your religion. What you believe is great. But a spiritual framework, whatever it looks like for you, can reinforce those lessons. It becomes less about rules and more about how we show up for life. So here's a little exercise you might want to try. Ask yourself one simple question. What is my understanding of something greater than myself? You don't need a perfect answer. You don't need a theological explanation. Just start with curiosity. Maybe your answer is nature. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe it's love. Maybe it's the idea that consciousness continues in ways we don't yet understand. Or maybe your answer is simply, I don't know. But I'm open to the possibility that openness alone can be surprisingly powerful, because curiosity keeps the spirit alive. In the end, aging gives us something that youth often struggles to achieve. I talked about it in the last episode, Perspective. We understand that life is fragile and beautiful, temporary and meaningful. And the idea of a God, of your understanding, allows each of us to approach those truths in our own way, without pressure, without fear, without someone else insisting we must believe exactly what they believe. Instead, we're invited to explore, to reflect to develop a sense of peace with the mystery. If there's one thing many people discover later in life, it is you don't need all the answers to live meaningful lives. Sometimes it's enough to just understand we're part of something larger, something that connects us to each other, something that invites us to be nice to each other, something that encourages us to live fully while we're here. And perhaps that's what a God of your understanding is really about. So my friend actually lent me their copy of the Big Book as it's called an aa and I read it. Even if you're not in need of help with an addiction, you might want to give this a read. It's truly fascinating and I think a great guide for maybe how to help you understand your life or get your life back in order. If you feel it's kind of out of order, even if alcohol or drugs or whatever is not your problem, I'm going to spend the next several episodes exploring the idea of of how each of those steps can help us all lead a better and more fulfilling life. I hope you'll join me for that journey. If you would like to reach out to me and let me know your thoughts on this or any other episode, please do so@billmonte04gmail.com or just go down in the show notes and click on that Speak Pipe link and it will connect you to our Speak Pipe tool which lets you leave a free 90 second message. I look forward to hearing from you. Next, it's time for the Get Off My Lawn segment. And this one is one that really gets to me. A quick word from a friend of mine and then we'll be right back.
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Does the news cycle make you feel like you're on a tilt? A whirl of outrage, feeling like your brain is a political pinata getting whacked 247 there's an antidote Outrage Overload is the podcast where we hit the pause button on the outrage train. We dissect the headlines, peel back the layers of negativity, and explore the science behind why you keep wanting to throw your phone at the wall before you lose another brain cell to outrage fatigue. Check out the Outrage Overload podcast@outrageoverload.net or wherever you get your podcasts.
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And now it's time for the segment that I like to call get off of My Lawn. I am recording this episode on March 8, 2026. By the way, Happy International Woman's Day. It also is the day that we once again, as we do twice a Year move our clocks either backwards or forwards. In this case, we spring forward so we lose an hour. I think this is one of the dumbest things that we do. So I just want to say, daylight stupid time. Get off of my lawn. I have read many different variations of why we do this. Some blame Benjamin Franklin. Actually. He wrote a satirical piece about how Parisians could get back parts of their day. It was all in jest. He even wanted to tax burning candles. Again, it was a joke. I've heard that it was during World War I and or World War II so that we could have more daylight and we could see the enemy if they were attacking us. I've heard that it was so that farmers would have more daylight in order to do the work they do. That's the one. I don't know why we do that, because at least in America, we've done everything we can to destroy the farmer. I can't find one essential origin story for daylight stupid time, but we have it still. Unless you live in Arizona, apparently the people in Arizona are happy. Or you live in various counties throughout the United States that have said, we ain't doing that. Can we please stop? And can we please do it? I'm. I'm gonna be. Here's hubris for you folks. Can we do it my way? Really? Can we do it my way? My way is standard time. And here's my reasoning. And if you're my. If my family or close friends. You are so sick of hearing me say this every year. I'm gonna say it anyway. We just talked about God, okay? So if there is a God, God created the world and the way that the universe works. And all of that was a certain time. X amount of hours for sunlight, X amount of hours for nighttime. At some points during the year, the spring and summer months, you will naturally have longer days. It will stay lighter longer into the early evening. As you go into fall and winter, that time will become shorter. You don't need to turn the clocks back and forth in order to make this happen. The universe is already set up this way. So if you are a religious person who believes in God, you should be against daylight savings time because it goes against the nature of God and the rules that he and or she set up for the universe. It's proven by scientific fact that moving the clocks back and forth is harmful to seniors. It upsets that rhythm. We're old. We don't adjust to things very well these days. I know. For me, I have found out since I was probably in my early 60s. I don't remember the exact year that I spend the time between when we go to daylight savings time, when we go off it exhausted all the time, I never recover from it. When I was younger I did eventually. I don't anymore. So it's harmful to seniors. It's hard to recover from. It doesn't make any sense at all. Why do we do it? You want longer days? Well, you're going to get them in the summer. No matter what we do with the clocks, it doesn't really matter. And aren't we really tired of doing this twice a year? Let's settle on one time. And for me, that's standard time. I know my friends in Canada, British Columbia, just adopted daylight savings time time as the rule. No, no, no, no, no, you got it wrong. And I know, listen, I hear from my friends who live up north. I know up north when you don't have daylight savings time, I don't know, it's supposed to get dark like one o' clock in the afternoon or something. I have no idea. That's true. But it gets dark like 4:00 or 4:30 or something like that. Okay, it does down here too. Listen, when we turned the clocks back in, was it November 2025? I. I leave work at 5:30. I would have to turn on my car lights to drive home. As of last Friday, which was the last Friday before daylight savings time, I got home at a little bit at six or a little bit after six. It's still bright daylight out there. It already works. We don't need to do this. But if we're going to go to one time without changing clocks, please, Standard time, State of Florida, where I live, apparently it's already all been adopted. But again, they're going to stay with daylight savings time. However, they don't want want to actually vote on it to make it a law or a rule. That's Florida for you. Anyway, that's my rant. Daylight savings time, or daylight stupid time as I call it. Get off of my lawn. I just want to live my life here. All right, again, friends, please, if you haven't already, be sure to like follow, subscribe, comment and share. It really helps grow the podcast channel. I do so appreciate it. Until the next time that we talk, I remind you to please be safe and be kind.
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If it's warm outside but you're feeling cold or not sure what to do without a friendly shoulder, you're not alone. So start feeling bolder. Welcome to Bill Monty's guide for getting Older.
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Hi this is Bill Monti inviting you to take a talk down memory lane on the podcast Tales from South Florida, where we dive into the people, places and events that make our corner of the Sunshine State unlike any place anywhere. So sit back, grab your headsets, get a slice of Key lime pie and come along for the ride. Full episodes, music videos and more are available at talesfromsouthflorida.com Tales from South Florida, where the stories meet the sea.