A listener has issued a formal challenge: Doug must eat 100 deviled eggs on the podcast. Doug is not ruling it out. He has lost 26 pounds, credits deviled eggs as a core part of his diet, and has already changed his dating app profile picture to deviled eggs. The responses have been mixed. A 54-year-old match wrote back that she is allergic to eggs. A 79-year-old wrote back that she loves deviled eggs because she does not have to put her teeth in. Bill is rooting for the 79-year-old.

The episode records on St. Patrick's Weekend, and Bill arrives in the worst mood of the calendar year. The tech refuses to cooperate, the cameras will not connect, and Bill spent twenty minutes tearing his house apart looking for his car keys before discovering they were in his own pocket the entire time. He gets into it eventually and the limericks come out.

Cindy Crawford's morning routine went viral and the crew has thoughts. Two and a half hours of Bible app, dry brushing, red light therapy, apple cider vinegar, barefoot grounding, jacuzzi, Pilates, and trampoline work every single day. Bill's question is not whether that is excessive. His question is why success has become something people mock instead of study. The conversation gets into wealth resentment, the tax the rich argument, and whether any of it actually helps anyone.

The back half lands on a local story out of Wayne County. A 66-year-old technology teacher known by the nickname Major Hands has been federally charged with running prostitution parties out of his home in Macedon for several years. He organized them through email, set a cover charge, and sent guests parking instructions so the neighbors would not notice. Bill's take is genuinely curious rather than outraged. Gambling was illegal. Weed was illegal. Alcohol was illegal. If all parties are consenting adults making their own choices, where exactly is the crime? Doug and Bill work through it honestly.

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100 Deviled Eggs, Cindy Crawford’s 3-Hour Morning, & Wayne County’s ‘Major Hands’ Scandal