
Hosted by bisexualkilljoy · EN

Are friendships important? Can you be friends with folks of the genders they’re attracted to? Can bisexuals even HAVE friends? These questions have plagued us since we came out, and now we’re here to share our answers with you. Friendships are crucial for us to foster healthy interdependence and learn how to love selflessly. In this intimate conversation with Bailey and Jace, we cover all the basics on how friendship shows up for Bi+ people. Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com Resources: Cohen, R. (2024). The Other Significant Others. St. Martin’s Press. hooks, bell. All About Love: New Visions. (1999) Rich, A. (1980). Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence. Signs, 5(4), 631–660. http://www.jstor.org/stable/3173834 https://www.biwomenquarterly.com/against-the-hierarchy-centering-friendship-in-bi-womens-relational-lives/ Sound engineer: Richie Smith

For a lot of polyamorous people, being Bi+ is an important part of their lived experience. In this episode, our hosts expand on how both polyamory and Bi+ness are philosophically intertwined. From unpacking imposed relationship norms, to celebrating the abundance of love that surrounds us, this episode holds beautiful insights on what it means to nurture yourself so you can gift more to others. Jace is so looking forward to meeting you at the Bi+ World Conference! Haven’t registered yet? Check out all the details here. Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com Resources: hooks, bell. All About Love: New Visions. (1999) Klesse, C. (2017). Theorizing multi-partner relationships and sexualities – Recent work on non-monogamy and polyamory. Sexualities, 21(7), 1109–1124. https://doi.org/10.1177/1363460717701691 Spiedel, L. (2025). Relationships: Dating, monogamy, and consensual non-monogamy. In Bisexuality beyond binaries: Celebrating multiple bisexual identities in a world of erasure. Routledge. Weitzman, G. (2006). Therapy with Clients Who Are Bisexual and Polyamorous. Journal of Bisexuality, 6(1-2), 137–164. https://doi.org/10.1300/j159v06n01_08 Sound engineer: Richie Smith

The question that abounds in Bi+ subreddits and support groups is: If you’re already married, does being Bi+ even matter? This episode, we give this question the attention it deserves. From opening your marriage to Bi+ community involvement, we dive deep into the most common pain points for our married Bi+ listeners. Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com Resources: Give It to Me Bi: Learning to “B” Proud. An advice column on how to come out to your children. Frisk, M. J. (2021, February). Maintaining my bi identity while married. bi.org. https://bi.org/en/bi-stories/staying-bi-while-married/ hooks, bell. All About Love: New Visions. (1999) Parker, K., & Minkin, R. (2023, September 14). Views of divorce and open marriages. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/09/14/views-of-divorce-and-open-marriages/ Spiedel, L. (2025). Relationships: Dating, monogamy, and consensual non-monogamy. In Bisexuality beyond binaries: Celebrating multiple bisexual identities in a world of erasure. Routledge. Sound engineer: Richie Smith

This season is all about love, and one of the most important lessons we need to learn is how love cannot co-exist with abuse. Over a third of women in the US have been victims of intimate partner violence, and the rates for Bi+ women are even more worrisome. To help us navigate the stats, we’re lucky to welcome Katie W. Bogen as our guest. In her own words, Katherine Wela Bogen is “first, a storyteller; second, a scholar-activist; and third, a joyful little freak.” Bisexual and Jewish, she grew up in rural New England. A doctoral candidate in clinical psychology studying the intersections of bisexual identity, sexual trauma, sexual functioning, and kink, she has published more than forty peer-reviewed papers and is the host of the political podcast SuperHumanizer. Bogen’s 600k+ social media followers will recognize her as @k.w.bogen from her public-facing scholar activism. Queering Him, the first in the Avra and Kieran trilogy, is Bogen’s debut novel. Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com Where to Find Katie: Instagram: @k.w.bogen and @k.w.bogen_books Threads: @k.w.bogen TikTok: @kwbogen Patreon: @kwbogen Podcasts: 1) Super Humanizer and 2) Think Thirsty: A Podcast for Smart Sluts Where to Find Katie’s new book: https://booklife.com/project/queering-him-103299 Resources: Katie’s Responses to Disclosure Slide Deck Bermea, A. M., van Eeden-Moorefield, B., & Khaw, L. (2018). A Systematic Review of Research on Intimate Partner Violence Among Bisexual Women. Journal of Bisexuality, 18(4), 399–424. https://doi.org/10.1080/15299716.2018.1482485 Head, S. (2020). Understanding Power Dynamics in Bisexual Intimate Partner Violence: Looking in the Gap. In: Russell, B. (eds) Intimate Partner Violence and the LGBT+ Community. Springer, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-44762-5_7 Coston, B. M. (2017). Power and inequality: Intimate partner violence against bisexual and non-monosexual women in the United States. Journal of Interpersonal Violence, 36(1–2), NP316–NP340. https://doi.org/10.1177/0886260517726415 Corey, J., Duggan, M., & Travers, Á. (2023). Risk and protective factors for intimate partner violence against bisexual victims: A systematic scoping review. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse, 24(4), 2130–2142. https://doi.org/10.1177/15248380221084749 Flanders, C. E., Anderson, R. E., Tarasoff, L. A., & Robinson, M. (2019). Bisexual stigma, sexual violence, and sexual health among bisexual and other plurisexual women. The Journal of Sex Research, 56(9), 1115–1127. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224499.2018.1563042 Friedman, M. R., Dodge, B., Schick, V., et al. (2014). From bias to bisexual health disparities: Attitudes toward bisexual men and women in the United States. LGBT Health, 1(4), 309–318. https://doi.org/10.1089/lgbt.2014.0014 Johnson, N. L., & Grove, M. B. (2017). Why us? Toward an understanding of bisexual women’s vulnerability for and negative consequences of sexual violence. Journal of Bisexuality, 17(4), 435–450. https://doi.org/10.1080/15299716.2017.1364201 McCauley, H. L., Bonomi, A. E., Maas, M. K., Bogen, K. W., & O'Malley, T. L. (2018). #MaybeHeDoesntHitYou: Social Media Underscore the Realities of Intimate Partner Violence. Journal of women's health (2002), 27(7), 885–891. https://doi.org/10.1089/jwh.2017.6560 Salim, R. (2022). Sexual violence and revictimization risk among bisexual women: A systematic review. Trauma, Violence, & Abuse. https://doi.org/10.1177/15248380211073837 Turell, S. C., Brown, M., & Herrmann, M. (2018). Disproportionately high: An exploration of intimate partner violence prevalence rates for bisexual people. Sexual and Relationship Therapy, 33(1–2), 113–131. https://doi.org/10.1080/14681994.2017.1347614 Sound engineer: Richie Smith

Being a Bi+ monogamous person isn’t the oxymoron it seems to be. In this episode, Bailey shares about what it means to be monogamous while still holding on to her Bi+ identity. From defining monogamy to sharing our favorite romance gestures, this is the episode where we prove the biphobes wrong. Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at podcast@bisexualkilljoy.com Resources: Ault, A. (1994). Hegemonic Discourse in an Oppositional Community: Lesbian Feminists and Bisexuality. Critical Sociology, 20(3), 107-122. https://doi.org/10.1177/089692059402000306 (Original work published 1994) Diamond, L. M. (2008). Female bisexuality from adolescence to adulthood: Results from a 10-year longitudinal study. Developmental Psychology, 44(1), 5–14. https://doi.org/10.1037/0012-1649.44.1.5 hooks, bell. All About Love: New Visions. (1999) Mark, K., Rosenkrantz, D., & Kerner, I. (2014). “Bi”ing Into Monogamy: Attitudes Toward Monogamy in a Sample of Bisexual-Identified Adults. Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity, 1(3), 263–269. https://doi.org/10.1037/sgd0000051 Sound engineer: Richie Smith

Dating as Bi+ person comes with its own set of challenges. In this episode, we dive into what it means to be on the dating scene as a Bi+ person, and the role of self-love. Part philosophical musics, part practical dating tips, this episode is the Bi+ dating perspective you didn’t know you needed. Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at bisexualkilljoy@gmail.com. Resources: hooks, bell, 1952-2021. (2000). All About Love: New Visions. New York: William Morrow. Sound engineer: Richie Smith

Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! The world outside our windows gets more terrifying by the hour, and we aren’t here to pretend it’s not happening. Season 5 explores a crucial element we are missing in today’s world: Love. Grounding ourselves in bell hook’s longing for a more loving society, we begin this season by asking key questions about love. What is love? How do we know love? What does it mean to love in a time of terror? From now until June, we’ll be covering all kinds of love, relationships, and connections from a Bi+ perspective. From marriage to community interdependence, this season is all about new visions in the name of love. Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by joining our Patreon and following us on Instagram. As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at bisexualkilljoy@gmail.com. Resources: hooks, bell, 1952-2021. (2000). All About Love: New Visions. New York: William Morrow. More on on the Myth of the Alpha Wolf: https://www.sciencearena.org/en/interviews/selfcorrection-science-absolute-truth-david-mech-wolves/ Sound engineer: Richie Smith

Help Bisexual Killjoy by filling out this quick survey. We're closing this chapter the only way we know how: by looking backward, forward, and directly at ourselves. This week, we reflect on what this season of bi+ history, legacy, and movement-building has taught us and what it asks of us next. From archives and elders to Discord chats and living rooms, this season reminded us that bisexual history isn’t abstract. It’s personal, fragile, and alive. This episode is about honoring the bi+ leaders who came before us, including the late bi+ activist and scholar Loraine Hutchins, whose work shaped so much of what we now take for granted. We talk about leadership, burnout, decentralization, institutions, teamwork, and why movements don’t survive on passion alone. From accessibility and disability justice to racism, class, and intergenerational conflict, we name the hard truths that bi+ spaces must grapple with if we want a future at all. As we wrap the season, we ask: What does it actually take to sustain a movement? Who gets remembered, who gets erased, and who pays the cost? And how do we move forward in a way that’s rooted in care, accountability, and shared power? Stay bisexual. Stay strong. We’ll see you in the next chapter. Fill out our listener survey here! Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by subscribing to our Substack, joining our Patreon, and following us on Instagram. As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at hello@bisexualkilljoy.com Buy us a Coffee or leave us a tip here. Sound engineer: Richie Smith

Help Bisexual Killjoy by filling out this quick survey. Teamwork makes the Bi+ dream work! This week, we’re diving into a fellow Bi+ advocacy project, the Give it To Me Bi podcast. Co-host Steve joins us to reflect on the outcomes of meeting a fellow kindred spirit that’s ready to do some meaningful Bi+ change. From volunteer groups to online community building, we’re discovering all the overlaps that we Bi+ dynamic duos share. Chad Barnier and Steve Spencer are the masterminds behind the Give It to Me Bi podcast. A podcast with a mission to amplify Bi+ voices, challenge stereotypes, and build community for everyone under the Bi+ umbrella. Their podcast was born out of a desire to create something impactful for the Bi+ community, a space where they could bring their perspectives. With Chad’s background in marketing and Steve’s health research, they’ve created the Bi+ space they dreamed of. From legislative advocacy to passionate storytelling, this dynamic duo is uniquely committed to making sure Bi+ voices are seen AND heard. Fill out our listener survey here! Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by subscribing to our Substack, joining our Patreon, and following us on Instagram. As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at hello@bisexualkilljoy.com Buy us a Coffee or leave us a tip here. Resources Fill out our listener survey here! Bi All Accounts: An Anthology of Bi+ Voices, Volume 1. Edited by Bailey Merlin, Bi+ Book Gang. 2025. Order your copy today! Sydney Bi+ Network: Sydney Bi+ Network Where to Find Chad & Steve: Give It to Me Bi website: https://giveittomebi.com/about Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/gitmb/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/giveittomebi/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@giveittomebi Sound engineer: Richie Smith

By now we know that Bi+ people are everywhere, but are there Bi+ Cities? This week, we’re getting all the tips and tricks for building a Bi+ talk show that lasts for over a decade! With project leaders, Dr. Marge Charmoli, Dr. Anita Kozan, and Bill Burleson spill the details on what it’s like to run a cable talk show on Bi+ topics. Join us in this Alice-through-the-looking-glass moment as we chat about the importance of joy and teamwork in keeping advocacy sustainable. Bi Cities! is the world’s longest-running show dedicated to bisexuality. Since 2002, hosts Dr. Marge Charmoli and Dr. Anita Kozan have led weekly conversations with leading experts, activists, and cultural figures in the bi+ community. Each episode shares stories, research, and advocacy that deepen understanding and visibility, making Bi Cities! a vital platform for documenting bi+ life for more than two decades. Recognized as a leader in the Twin Cities by the Bisexual Organizing Project, honored with Producer of the Year by St. Paul Neighborhood Network, and awarded Changemaker of the Year by the St. Paul LGBTQIA Community Organization, BiCities! has welcomed guests from local pioneers to international voices, including Fritz Klein and Robyn Ochs. Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon. Get even more Bisexual Killjoy content by subscribing to our Substack, joining our Patreon, and following us on Instagram. As always, we want to hear from you! You can chat with us on our Discord Server, send us a message, or email us at hello@bisexualkilljoy.com Buy us a Coffee or leave us a tip here Resources Bi All Accounts: An Anthology of Bi+ Voices, Volume 1. Edited by Bailey Merlin, Bi+ Book Gang. 2025. Order your copy today! Learn More About BiCities!: BiCities website: https://www.bicities.org/ BiCities Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BiCitiesShows/ BiCities YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0QEvUVWUvmowkoEbm6tA2A? “How To Make a Bisexual Talk Show Last 20 Years: A Step-by-Step Guide” by Emerson Rice: https://www.biwomenquarterly.com/how-to-make-a-bisexual-talk-show-last-20-years-a-step-by-step-guide/ Learn More About Bill: Bill’s Website: www.williamburleson.com Bill’s Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/billburl Sound engineer: Richie Smith