How to Prepare for a Black Barbecue?

Summary

Black and White Advice: How to Prepare for a Black Barbecue? Released: November 5, 2024

---

Hosts: Turner Sparks (White) and Phil Duckett (Black)
Podcast Description: Comedians Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett tackle all your questions on race, even the challenging ones. Submit your inquiries to [e-mail] and get ready to be educated.

---

1. Introduction

In this episode of Black and White Advice, Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett delve into the nuances of preparing for a black barbecue. They juxtapose traditional etiquette as outlined by The New York Times with the authentic practices observed in black communities, highlighting cultural differences and offering practical advice for navigating interracial gatherings.

---

2. House Party Etiquette: NY Times vs. Black Barbecue Culture

The conversation kicks off with Turner expressing excitement about discussing party etiquette, referencing a recent New York Times list on how to behave at house parties. Turner shares the list's rules, which Phil promptly critiques for lacking authenticity to black party traditions.

Key Points:

• NY Times Etiquette: Emphasizes bringing something tangible like wine or napkins.
• Black Party Culture: Focuses on spontaneity and communal contributions, often termed as "kickbacks" or "cookouts."

Notable Quotes:

• Phil Duckett [01:09]: "The New York Times has really gone down lately. Let’s bring something practical, like napkins or forks, not just glamour."
• Turner Sparks [02:19]: "Now I know I don't even have to bring that. I can just be the wit person."
• Phil Duckett [05:01]: "Everyone brings napkins."

---

3. Organizing a Black Barbecue: Spontaneity and Collaboration

Phil elucidates the organic nature of organizing black barbecues, where plans are often made on the day of the event through a network of friends, ensuring a communal effort in contributing food and resources.

Key Points:

• Spontaneity: Decisions are frequently made on the same day as the barbecue.
• Collaborative Effort: Multiple contributors bring various food items, leading to a diverse and abundant spread.
• Venue: While upstate parties may be at someone's home, urban gatherings like in New York City often take place at communal parks like Brooklyn Bridge Park.

Notable Quotes:

• Phil Duckett [05:04]: "You call up your homeboy and say, 'We're having a little kickback. Bring the ribs.'"
• Turner Sparks [06:46]: "What if someone follows the New York Times and shows up to one of these parties with just their beauty and wit?"

---

4. Arrival Times and Cultural Expectations

The hosts contrast the NY Times recommendation of arriving 15 minutes late with the punctual expectations in black barbecue culture, where arriving on time can inadvertently involve guests in party preparations.

Key Points:

• White Etiquette: Arrive 15 minutes late to respect the host's schedule.
• Black Party Culture: Guests arriving on time may be expected to help set up, integrating them into the event's logistics.

Notable Quotes:

• Turner Sparks [09:39]: "Rule number two... stop bringing candles to people's homes."
• Phil Duckett [10:21]: "If you show up on time, you are now part of the party planning committee."

---

5. Comedy Culture: Black Rooms vs. White Rooms

The discussion shifts to the comedy scene, highlighting the distinction between predominantly black comedy rooms and white comedy venues. Phil shares insights into the challenges black comedians face in predominantly white circuits and the vibrant yet distinct atmosphere of black comedy clubs.

Key Points:

• Black Comedy Rooms: Often start late and offer a different comedic experience, sometimes paying less but fostering a strong sense of community.
• White Comedy Venues: More mainstream but may not offer the same cultural resonance for black comedians.

Notable Quotes:

• Phil Duckett [14:10]: "The black rooms start late, but when you're coming up, they pay more when you're first."
• Turner Sparks [14:46]: "The crowds are crazy. So, it’s a different side of comedy."

---

6. Audience Questions: Navigating Interracial Relationships and Roommate Conflicts

Turner and Phil field listener-submitted questions, offering advice on interracial relationships and roommate dynamics.

A. Preparing for a Black Barbecue

• Question: A white man invited to a Jamaican family barbecue in Brownsville seeks preparation tips.
• Advice:
  • Phil Duckett [28:48]: "Probably check yourself into the ER in advance."
  • Turner Sparks [30:24]: Suggests understanding the neighborhood's cultural and social dynamics for a respectful experience.

B. Roommate Conflict Over Bathroom Use

• Question: Olivia from Brooklyn asks how to address a black female roommate's excessive bathroom time.
• Advice:
  • Phil Duckett [32:02]: Recommends a respectful conversation over something casual like wine.
  • Turner Sparks [34:08]: Suggests as a backup, moving out if the conflict persists.

C. White Men Dating Asian Women: Fetish or Preference?

• Question: Kevin from Dallas inquires about the perception of white men dating Asian women, wondering if it's a fetish.
• Advice:
  • Phil Duckett [36:15]: Acknowledges the label of fetish but encourages personal preference without judgment.
  • Turner Sparks [38:24]: Emphasizes respecting cultural backgrounds and understanding preferences without stereotyping.

---

7. Carrot Top and White Comedy Preferences

A substantial portion of the episode is dedicated to discussing the popularity of Carrot Top among white audiences, examining cultural stereotypes and the evolution of comedy.

Key Points:

• Carrot Top's Appeal: Attributes his success to his prop-based comedy and distinctive red hair.
• Cultural Stereotypes: Phil and Turner debate why certain comedic styles resonate more with white audiences and question the lack of diversity among white comedians.

Notable Quotes:

• Turner Sparks [18:29]: "Why do white people love Carrot Top? What am I missing?"
• Phil Duckett [20:19]: "Or you see how that evolved? The original clowns of white folks."
• Turner Sparks [27:03]: "Carrot Top is on one end... Hannah Gatsby is on the other where there's a lot of thinking."

---

8. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts

In their closing segments, Turner and Phil recap the discussions, reinforce the importance of cultural understanding, and encourage listeners to embrace diversity in their social interactions.

Notable Quotes:

• Phil Duckett [40:52]: "They ain't always nice, but you can't think twice and get it black and white."
• Turner Sparks [40:37]: "See you next time."

---

Conclusion

This episode of Black and White Advice offers an insightful exploration into the cultural intricacies of black barbecues, the comedy landscape, and navigating interracial relationships and roommate challenges. Through humor and candid conversations, Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett provide valuable perspectives that bridge racial divides and foster mutual understanding.

---

Stay Connected:
Have a question you want answered on the show? Email [e-mail] and your query might be featured in the next episode!

---

Note: This summary focuses solely on the content-rich segments of the episode, omitting advertisements, intros, outros, and non-substantive sections to provide a clear and comprehensive overview.

Transcript

[Phil Duckett]

So. So you want to know how black party works?

[Turner Sparks]

Yes, I do.

[Phil Duckett]

Have you ever had a question you wanted to ask opposite race but you were too nervous to ask?

[Turner Sparks]

I'm Turner Sparks.

[Phil Duckett]

And I'm Phil Duckett.

[Turner Sparks]

And this is Black and White Advice.

[Phil Duckett]

Where we answer all your questions about race, even the scary ones.

[Turner Sparks]

This is black and White Advice.

[Phil Duckett]

You've got a question, but you're scared to ask. Just drop the boys a message. Cause they're up to the task. They're rolling the dice. They ain't always nice, but you can't think twice and get it like it. White and black and white.

[Turner Sparks]

I want to get to this today. So New York Times just came out with a list of etiquette for a house party. So you're going to a house party.

[Phil Duckett]

There's etiquette at house parties, according to.

[Turner Sparks]

The New York Times, there's etiquette for how you're supposed to behave on your way to the house party. At the house party. When leaving the house party, I want to go through some of these and.

[Phil Duckett]

See this was written by a white person for sure. Because first of all, nobody was saying how to act at a house party. First of all, it's called a kickback or a function. And you know, if I had to kick back, I'm chilling at the kickback. I'm at the function. Post it up.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm very excited to read you this list.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, let's see what they got.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, here's rule number one. When you accept an invitation. Are we already off track? Are they.

[Phil Duckett]

They're sending Evites.

[Turner Sparks]

When you accept an invitation, you have an obligation to bring something. I agree with this so far.

[Phil Duckett]

I agree with it too.

[Turner Sparks]

You can be the most beautiful person at the party. Who brings glamour.

[Phil Duckett]

Fuck no.

[Turner Sparks]

Fuck you. You can be the person who brings an expensive wine, or you can bring a sprinkle, which means you sprinkle joy or wit or personality onto a party. But the rules are you have to bring something.

[Phil Duckett]

Let me tell.

[Turner Sparks]

This is the New York Times.

[Phil Duckett]

The New York Times has really gone down lately. Um, let me tell you something. Glam and sprinkle. Keep your moochie asses at home. All right? You better bring something to my napkins, paper towels, forks. Don't just bring your fine ass to my house empty handed.

[Turner Sparks]

I used to be the napkins guy, which is fine. I go to napkins something.

[Phil Duckett]

Show me that you have contributed to all this money I've spent.

[Turner Sparks]

No, but for me, this is very exciting because now I know I Don't even have to bring that. I can just be the wit person.

[Phil Duckett]

That's Jen. This is Gen Z.

[Turner Sparks]

And then I can be like what the New York Times said I can bring wit.

[Phil Duckett]

The editors at the New York Times are.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm bringing beauty to your party.

[Phil Duckett]

You don't have enough beauty to pay me. Bring the napkins, Turner, please.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm a strong seven.

[Phil Duckett]

You are in Utah. But I'm going to tell you this.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm a Utah 7.

[Phil Duckett]

Utah 7 Sparks. Which is pretty good.

[Turner Sparks]

I'll take it. Utah people are hot. Mormons are attractive people because they don't drink. They don't smoke, they don't cuss, they don't. They don't throw rocks. They don't do. Yeah, anything that would age you they don't do. And so they just sit around and look good. I think they exercise and they like. They do drink a lot of soda.

[Phil Duckett]

I heard they do a lot of edging.

[Turner Sparks]

They might do that.

[Phil Duckett]

There's a documentary on. It's big in the morning.

[Turner Sparks]

A lot.

[Phil Duckett]

A lot of nut in the jeans.

[Turner Sparks]

They drink Robitussin. I know.

[Phil Duckett]

They drink Lean.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Because it's not like they pulling up syrup in Utah.

[Turner Sparks]

Dude, you open a fridge. I grew up with Mormons. You opened a Mormon fridge and the dads just got like wall to wall Robitussin because like, oh, I have a cult. Because it's their way of getting drunk. Because they're not allowed to drink alcohol.

[Phil Duckett]

No way.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. So they go full robo tripping like every week.

[Phil Duckett]

That's pretty sick. I feel like we might do some research. We gonna get canceled by you Tell. They're like that. Actually it's true. Yeah. He has an opioid problem. Turner.

[Turner Sparks]

There's an opioid epidemic. Rule number two. I don't even know if this is one, but I am excited that now I can just. I can bring absolutely nothing. Beauty rule number two, stop bringing candles to people's homes. We all know they're re gifted. There are only so many candles a house can take now in the. I don't know. I don't know this. I don't know. I. I don't think I brought candles. I've never had any.

[Phil Duckett]

I've never received. Unless it was a housewarming.

[Turner Sparks]

What is the. What is the. The typical thing is like a fruit pie or something, right? What is that called?

[Phil Duckett]

The white.

[Turner Sparks]

Do you know what I mean?

[Phil Duckett]

He brought you a fruit. Like a fruit salad.

[Turner Sparks]

That's a fruit salad. What? Joe, what's the term. The fruit.

[Phil Duckett]

Something like the fruit bowl. Cake.

[Turner Sparks]

Fruitcake.

[Phil Duckett]

Fruit cake. Fruit cake.

[Turner Sparks]

That does.

[Phil Duckett]

Fruitcakes. Fruit. I mean, yeah, you're 1954 is what they were.

[Turner Sparks]

There's like one fruitcake on planet Earth, and people are passing it around.

[Phil Duckett]

How old are you, Turner? Have you ever gotten a fruitcake at a party? Somebody handed you one? Was her name Esther Shirley? Dropped off a little fruit cake over here along with a honey baked ham.

[Turner Sparks]

What do people normally bring? What, at a black party? At a. Whatever.

[Phil Duckett]

Black party probably mean napkins. Silverwood.

[Turner Sparks]

Everyone brings napkins.

[Phil Duckett]

So. So you want to know how black party works?

[Turner Sparks]

Yes, I do.

[Phil Duckett]

You go, you're like, yo, I think I'm gonna have a party today. You call up your homeboy, like, yo, yo, yo.

[Turner Sparks]

He's like, you decide that day.

[Phil Duckett]

You decide that day, that day, that day.

[Turner Sparks]

Yo, already we're off.

[Phil Duckett]

Yo, yo, yo, yo. I'm having a little kickback. I already got the motherfucking chicken and shit. You just make sure you bring the burgers and hot dogs. And then call your boy. So then be like, bet. So then he calls his boy, yo, yo, we having a kickback already. We already got the burgers, hot dog and chicken. You just gotta bring the ribs. And so it's like a game of telephone. And the cookout builds. So the better the cookout, the more people you have, because you. Now you have all the food you need. But if you don't call enough people now you just there with three pieces of chicken.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

And it's not a cookie, you know, I mean, it's like, you really have to do it. But now that's how it starts. It'd be the day of. And he like, yo, like Labor Day. He was like, yo, like, it might be the. Like, this weekend. I already got a call. Yo, this is Labor Day. We having a little kickback. Yo, yo, such and such. Bring the hot dogs. You bring this, you bring that. So he's just organizing it. It's not really. We don't sponsor. We're not paying for everything.

[Turner Sparks]

And is it someone's home? It can be.

[Phil Duckett]

Well and. Well, down south, where I'm from, it's at somebody's house.

[Turner Sparks]

So New York City.

[Phil Duckett]

New York City, we're at Brooklyn Bridge Park. That's where it happens at. But. But. But down south, that's the thing. So the person who's throwing the party, he's like, you using my house in my grill. So I'm putting in less. So, you know, you relying on the other people. To bring shit. But the thing about a black cookout is you like, yeah, we gonna have a cookout around 3:00. If you get there at 3:00, white people. White people get there on time.

[Turner Sparks]

We're gonna get to that. We're about to get to that. Wait, wait, wait. We're gon. But here's my question for you. What if someone follows the New York Times and they show up to one of the, like, this party with just their beauty and their wit and their personality, and they go, no, no, no. I've brought me. I don't see what the issue is.

[Phil Duckett]

All the type of cookouts I go to, they're going to. They're going to put you in. First of all, they might not.

[Turner Sparks]

What if I came and I said, no, no, it's. I'm the gift.

[Phil Duckett]

They would look at me. They're like, phil, you brought this white boy. And then like, yeah, he was like, tell him to leave. Tell him to leave. He brought glamour. He couldn't bring. Not a napkin. He couldn't bring a piece of anything. No, you could bring a chip. You could literally bring the variety pack of lay's chips, the little lunch bag. Yeah, you could do that. You could bring. Go and just get a small bag of chips and put them on the table. At least she thought tried. You need something, you gotta have something. I'm leaving here with something.

[Turner Sparks]

All right. I think I'm trying to think of a white part. So a white party. Like it. So say. Let's say it's. It's a holiday party. Like, something the Labor Day, three months in advance. You're finding out about it.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, wow.

[Turner Sparks]

You're getting an e vite. And it's also very specific. It'll say you and your. You and your spouse. Or you. You and your spouse. Okay, if we're going real white, it's you and your spouse. If you don't have a spouse, you don't get a plus one. It's just you.

[Phil Duckett]

If you don't have. So you can't bring the stripper you met the night before?

[Turner Sparks]

Absolutely not. I had a guy.

[Phil Duckett]

Why can't. It's a plus one. Why do you give a damn who?

[Turner Sparks]

We had a Super bowl party and a guy brought a girl that he met on the subway over to our house. And this was like a day before the COVID outbreak. She gave everyone Covid.

[Phil Duckett]

No. She did.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. This girl on the subway, was she hot? She was pretty attractive. She was also, like, clearly nuts, of course. Like, a Psychopath. This Australian guy brought her over and he was like, hey, mate. Yeah, I'm on the subway. Yeah. He'd been in New York like a month that, you know when you just got here and you're just, you're still talking to everybody.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So, like, you're on the stand, standing on the subway, and you go, hey.

[Phil Duckett]

What do you got there? Yeah?

[Turner Sparks]

And she's like, it's my bag. And you go, you want to go to the super bowl party? Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

And she was like.

[Turner Sparks]

And she goes, yeah, I'm just looking for a meal, you know, I'm just like, so she's homeless, Hot homeless lady. Which, by the way, all the married guys are like, yeah, good for you. You know, we're like, I mean, they're.

[Phil Duckett]

Like, I'm not mad at them.

[Turner Sparks]

Go for it. But then the. But you can't be the guy.

[Phil Duckett]

The wife hate it. Why hate that?

[Turner Sparks]

Get her out. Get the subway trash.

[Phil Duckett]

Probably has chlamydia. We're like, put her. Going to find out.

[Turner Sparks]

Put her back underground where she came from.

[Phil Duckett]

The women always be hating on that, like, damn, let them live shit.

[Turner Sparks]

So you can't. And I think it's the. So, yeah, you can't do. She wasn't on the Evite.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, damn. See, I didn't see. That's crazy to me.

[Turner Sparks]

But it's three months early. And then it's definitely not because day of, if you start inviting people day of, everyone's already gotten an invite. Three months, they're committed to other houses.

[Phil Duckett]

They know my shit be popping, so they gonna call it. They're like, nah, my field shit trumps all the other ones.

[Turner Sparks]

So it's a confidence.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, it's a guy. You remember last time? Yeah, last time we were crazy. We did ketamine. I'm playing, but it was just wild. It was a good time.

[Turner Sparks]

Number three. Okay, this gets yours. Here's the New York Times. It says when to show up to a party. Show up 15 minutes late. Even the best host or hostess appreciates that grace period. It's beyond priceless. I 100% agree. The same Australian guy. I'm telling you, on time, every single time. We have a party at 3, he's there at 3 o'clock. And it's like, can you just, like, go away for a few minutes?

[Phil Duckett]

We don't have that problem ever.

[Turner Sparks]

You don't say.

[Phil Duckett]

Baby, the host loves us. You got more than a grace period, my baby. You got about three hours.

[Turner Sparks]

You know black people aren't on time.

[Phil Duckett]

Fuck you.

[Turner Sparks]

Stop the press.

[Phil Duckett]

Feed time is a real thing. But especially when parties are meant to become too fashionably late. But everybody knows that a black party. If you show up on time, you are now part of the party planning committee.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

You are now setting up the chairs. You are making sure we got the cups and everything and the silverware. Whatever's here is ready to go. You are. And the thing is, you just came to party, but now you are part of the event.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. You're all sudden, like, feeding the baby.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Hold the baby while I get ready and. Oh, no, no, no, no. So you learn. I'm never. But, you know, I'm normally my. To a good party. I'm going to be about an hour and a half, two hours.

[Turner Sparks]

Can I say Phil was late to my wedding. The wedding happened. We were already married. If you're married, and Phil comes in, he's like, all right, when we get.

[Phil Duckett]

This started, I swear to God, we'd.

[Turner Sparks]

Already walked down the aisle.

[Phil Duckett]

The church, maybe the reception was about to start.

[Turner Sparks]

They threw rice. I said, you guys are on your honeymoon. You're in Tahiti. And Phil walks in. All right, where's the wedding? He literally clapped his chair. Let's get this going. He's, like, tying it. He's tying his bow tie.

[Phil Duckett]

She's like, I'm already Mrs. Russell, Phil.

[Turner Sparks]

You guys have a kid nine months late.

[Phil Duckett]

Joe, I completely forgot. I felt so bad. I was like, I missed it. Oh, God.

[Turner Sparks]

How late does a black wedding start?

[Phil Duckett]

No black weddings. Well, I don't want to do that. I say no weddings are on time. It depends. It depends on if you're punctual. Like, I'm very punctual. Like you. I mean, like, I.

[Turner Sparks]

You just said you're two hours late to everybody.

[Phil Duckett]

That's a party.

[Turner Sparks]

That is punctual, though.

[Phil Duckett]

That's. That's To a party. Like, I'm talking about for any, like, regular meetings. And, like, I'm always going to be on time. But, like, weddings depends on the person. I've been. Some. They start 15, 20 minutes late. But I've been to a black wedding that started two hours late. And I was. I was mad as. Cause I've already sweated through my suit. All right, so now I'm. And. And it's in Texas, and you're sitting.

[Turner Sparks]

There for two hours, and I'm like, this is dumb.

[Phil Duckett]

Like, they're not even gonna make it. So why are we doing this?

[Turner Sparks]

And also then you're renting the venue. A lot of these places by the. Like any wedding, it's like you get the space for four hours and then we got another wedding coming in.

[Phil Duckett]

No, not them. They didn't have going for the day, so we were just there. Texas Heat.

[Turner Sparks]

What about comedy?

[Phil Duckett]

I'm always on time for comedy. But if you, if you. The urban.

[Turner Sparks]

I don't. It's gonna shock you. I don't get invited that often.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I could see. I could see that. You know, I could see that.

[Turner Sparks]

But are those on time?

[Phil Duckett]

Never, never, like. And I mean never on time.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Phil Duckett]

Like. And the thing is, certain shows I've done, if, look, if it's the only thing you got, okay, you're good. But I can't do the bounce around because the show on the flyer says starts at seven, at nine o'clock. They're like, we're gonna get this thing started about 15 minutes in New York City, Harlem, the Bronx.

[Turner Sparks]

Then how is anyone bouncing? They're not, because we're all bouncing around doing like four spots a night. So you gotta get. You gotta be in and out and in and out.

[Phil Duckett]

But if I'm being honest, most comedians who are doing the black circuit don't go and do the white circuit.

[Turner Sparks]

So that's kind of their show for the night.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, that's. Or they. Or they'll go and do another show that starts at 10:30 or 11. Yeah, and that' but like, it's just what it is. You know, it's very tough to get booked in New York City, period. But, you know, the diversity is changing in a lot of these clubs. But it's still mostly dominated by, you know, there's not very, like we said, the clubs I perform in there, I'm one of the few past black comedians. There's probably like a handful. Yeah, you know, I mean, so. And I'm always down there and I'm grateful for all that time, but that also in return, a lot of the black rooms, I'll go and support my homies who only do the black room. They were like, there go Hollywood. You know, he don't fuck with the black room. I'm like, I don't fuck y'all. Don't book me in the black rooms. Motherfucker. What am I supposed to not do to shows?

[Turner Sparks]

Well, well, well.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, that's how they treat me. Like I done sold out.

[Turner Sparks]

Must be nice.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. I mean, the thing is. But I tell you this, the black rooms start late, but when you're coming up, black rooms pay more when you're first. We remember we were at this at the Lantern. Hoping we can get a fucking slice of pizza after those spots.

[Turner Sparks]

If.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. And then you go do these other black shows and they give you 250 off the jump.

[Turner Sparks]

250 bucks in New York City.

[Phil Duckett]

250 bucks. That's a you to feature.

[Turner Sparks]

To do a spot or to do like 20.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, they pay in the headliner 600. So it's like shit, you know, I mean, like, it's different, but yeah, you also. The crowds are a lot more motherfucking. Hey, you got to.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm going to start updating my material.

[Phil Duckett]

The crowds are crazy. So, you know, it's just like one of those things. I don't know. It's what. It's definitely. It's a different side of comedy.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, we got to move on. We will be right back.

[Phil Duckett]

The New York Times is struggling. I'm sorry.

[Turner Sparks]

We gotta move on. We gotta move on. We'll be right back with your black and white advice questions after the break.

[C]

We all need a moment to really breathe. So here's your chance to take a deep breath in. Now give a nice long exhale and repeat another 10 or so times. This healthy suggestion is brought to you by Regents Blue Cross Blue Shield of Oregon. Together we Health.

[D]

How do you feel when you switch to GEICO and save on your car insurance? It's like going to work on one Thursday morning and thinking to yourself, just one more day until Friday. But then somebody in the elevator says, happy Friday. Then you check your phone quickly and discover today is actually Friday. So yes, Happy Friday, random stranger in the elevator. Happy Friday indeed. Yep. Switching and saving with GEICO feels just like that. Get more with geico.

[Turner Sparks]

Hey, you want to get bonus content, early episodes and have your questions answered on the show?

[Phil Duckett]

Well, then subscribe to our [e-mail] blackandwhite advice and subscribe right now.

[Turner Sparks]

Do it and we'll give you a shout out on a future episode and.

[Phil Duckett]

I might call you the N word. And we're back with your questions of the day. Hey, you like that?

[Turner Sparks]

You like that energy?

[Phil Duckett]

That was pretty. Like radio. Like, you know what I mean?

[Turner Sparks]

I've always wanted to be a radio host.

[Phil Duckett]

I think I could have had, you know, I mean, I'm too beautiful to be on the radio. You have a face for the radio.

[Turner Sparks]

But I think I the F. Out of my house. Leave.

[Phil Duckett]

I think I am quite good looking, Turner. I think I have to be in front of the camera. But you could be like an early morning this Is Turner Sparks.

[Turner Sparks]

Speaking of attractive people, we had a question about Carrot Top.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh. Oh, that guy. The comedian.

[Turner Sparks]

The comedian Carrot Top.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. I haven't seen him in, like, 30 years.

[Turner Sparks]

He's still killing it in Vegas.

[Phil Duckett]

Is he?

[Turner Sparks]

Dude, I was in Vegas a few months ago, and they were telling me. Doing the Laugh Factory, and they were telling me that for the longest time, this lady, like, manage. Used to manage Carrot Top. And she was like, he. He sells out the Luxor. That one. That's the pyramid. Still. Every single night, Carrot Top sells out the Luxor. And they were like, oh, yeah. She was like, yeah. Gallagher and Carrot Top. You remember Gallagher?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Smash the watermelon.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

She's like. They had this ongoing feud in Vegas for 20 years, and whenever they would see each other, it would just be like a fist fight.

[Phil Duckett]

Over what?

[Turner Sparks]

Over. Because they're both prop comics.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And apparently Vegas is, like, only big enough for one prop comic, so they were very territorial about their. About their.

[Phil Duckett]

Carrot Top came out on Top. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Carrot Top's like a steroid. I don't know if he's.

[Phil Duckett]

He's huge.

[Turner Sparks]

I don't want to say.

[Phil Duckett]

The last time I saw him, he was jacked.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, maybe. I guess he's like a big workout guy. And Gallagher, I think he died Rip. But he was a.

[Phil Duckett]

He had really been on a tear lately with these rips.

[Turner Sparks]

But he was just. He was like an old nerdy, like, what do you care at top? Get over here.

[Phil Duckett]

Don't. I didn't know. You know, that's. But that's the type of fame that I would like. Like, selling out those type of places. Nobody even remembers if you're alive or not, but I'm literally making a million dollars a week.

[Turner Sparks]

Not only that, but you live there. You don't have to tour at all.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Carrot Top lives in the suburban Vegas. He has, like, a mansion. You just drive in at 6pm at night. You drive in, you do your show at seven. You're home by nine.

[Phil Duckett]

That's pretty sick.

[Turner Sparks]

People come to you one day. It's the life.

[Phil Duckett]

One day.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, so here's the question. I'm a black man, 40 years old. I have a question for Turner. Why do white people love Carrot Top? What am I missing?

[Phil Duckett]

Okay, I'm with him on that.

[Turner Sparks]

Are we sure that everyone. Because you just kind of explained it. But are we sure that our audience knows who caretop is?

[Phil Duckett]

They probably don't. That's why we need to put a picture up of him when we do this, because I'm going to be honest, it's been that long, like, and I'm, I was born in 88. If we have any type of listeners from the 2000s, they'll have no idea who we're talking about.

[Turner Sparks]

I think the white people will know. But that's what the question's about. Why do white people like Carrot Top?

[Phil Duckett]

I think white people of your age, I bet you a lot of young white people have no idea. Who cares?

[Turner Sparks]

So basically his whole thing was he was a prop comedian with red hair.

[Phil Duckett]

Like orange, red hair. Not like Ron Weasley, but like orange, orange. And it was long and long and curly.

[Turner Sparks]

Here's why white people like Carrot Top because, and this is going to sound harsh, but Ginger's red haired people, right, Were the original clowns.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So clown we. Before we had clowns. Clowns didn't always exist. Before they could put on the makeup and dye their hair red, it was just, hey, where's the nearest ginger? Let's throw stuff at them. You know, I mean, I'm not saying me, I understand medieval times. I've researched. This is historical fact. So we like to. Hey, look, it's a ginger. Yeah, that's fun. That doesn't look like me.

[Phil Duckett]

Or you see how that evolved? Because if you rearrange the words of ginger. What you got?

[Turner Sparks]

Gingivitis. I don't know what, what are we getting at, Bill?

[Phil Duckett]

Hard art. And so they were the original laughs. Laughing stocks of the white folks until they went to Africa. And that's when they were like, we can change this ginger word around just a tad bit. And then they were like, do that little dance. I told you that boy about a Vegas. I'm always going to take it back to slavery. But no, you're right. Ginger, it's fun.

[Turner Sparks]

They're fun.

[Phil Duckett]

They are. But Ginger's what I've always noticed is just a black guy looking in is when it comes to gingers, you're either fucking gorgeous or just an ugly duckling. There's no in between. With the ginger, you're either hot as shit or ugly as fuck.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. So now we've gotten, unfortunately we've gotten to Carrot Top. He seems like a great guy. I think people. So there's that there's people just like a redhead. We just like it. Right. And especially in comedy, I don't understand why more white comedians aren't redheads.

[Phil Duckett]

They aren't like, you mean like dying their hair red or like. But why more redheads aren't in it?

[Turner Sparks]

That's What? I mean, the other. More redheads. Because. Because you're. You're starting out with, like, a leg up.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, a lot of them can't be in the sun very long, so.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, but it's an indoor art form. Your basement in the night, it's made for them.

[Phil Duckett]

Actually, you're right.

[Turner Sparks]

Especially the goofballs. Because, like, Louis CK Is a redhead. And then you got. What's his name? Santino. Andrew Santino. But they're neither. One of them is the goofy red. They're kind of, like, serious. And they either go, like, angry serious or fiery redhead or funny or like, a goofball.

[Phil Duckett]

Santino is pretty goofy, but he's not gallery.

[Turner Sparks]

I mean, he's not.

[Phil Duckett]

Nobody is, though, because that was 90s. Yeah. I think those people are.

[Turner Sparks]

And then the second thing, I think people like you could be deaf and enjoy Carrot Top. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Because he's doing all the acting.

[Turner Sparks]

It's literally. You couldn't be blind. If you're blind, you'd have an issue. Because he does. He's not very funny when he speaks, but his. You know, he's got the. He's got props, and he's banging stuff, and he's. Speaking of walking into things.

[Phil Duckett]

I had a show the other night.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

And there was this couple, and the guy was blind, and they sat them on the front row, and I just felt like, such a bad seating choice. Like, why would you not put them in the back? Like, of course they can enjoy the show, but you wasting prime time, real estate on one who literally will never. It's just.

[Turner Sparks]

They're gonna be happy wherever this.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, they would have been fine with it. And I was just like. I looked at the guy scene. I was like, why'd you do that? He's like, I just wanted. Wanted him to feel, like, left out. How do you.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay, I got a couple things.

[Phil Duckett]

You know what I'm saying? How do you mean, left out? He's still laughing and hearing it with the rest of us.

[Turner Sparks]

I was in Hong Kong doing comedy, and do you know how rich Stevie Wonder is?

[Phil Duckett]

Wonder is the man.

[Turner Sparks]

They told me the comedians were like, hey, so Dave Chappelle apparently had been in town, like, a month earlier, and they were like, dave Chappelle said from stage that he didn't get a hotel because Stevie Wonder owns a house in Hong Kong. And when he heard he was there, he said, dave, you're staying at my house. Stevie Wonder wasn't even in town. He just said, here's the keys. You're staying in My house that Hong Kong is an island. Hong Kong Island. It's a peak. At the very top of the island with the best view in the entire island is Stevie Wonder's house. He has the Top Mountain penthouse, $80 million home. A blind guy, good for him. Has the best view.

[Phil Duckett]

A ribbon in the sky.

[Turner Sparks]

How. What a flaunt of your money.

[Phil Duckett]

I know some shit.

[Turner Sparks]

You're like, I could live in a.

[Phil Duckett]

Parking garage and would not know.

[Turner Sparks]

Wouldn't know. I actually don't think he's blind, guys.

[Phil Duckett]

You don't think Stevie Wonder's blind?

[Turner Sparks]

Is this like deep Q and A? There's videos online of like, him, like, shit happening that you could tell that he could see.

[Phil Duckett]

Get that? No, Joe, we're not going to do this. We're not going to tarnish this.

[Turner Sparks]

Really? Yeah, I believe it.

[Phil Duckett]

I saw him shoot a free throw on TikTok. He is blind as a bat.

[Turner Sparks]

I saw him dunk from the free throw line.

[Phil Duckett]

Tell you, I don't know about that, but he threw that ball straight at this guy. I felt so bad. I laughed so hard.

[Turner Sparks]

I have one more. One more thought here about carrots, about blind people. I did a show one time. I've been wanting to say this for years. I haven't found the right forum. Thankfully, we've landed on it. I did a show one time and it was all. The concept was, it was like at this festival, it was all in the dark. The whole audience is blindfolded. They turn the lights out and you do stand up. And the idea being they can hear your voice but they can't see you. So like act outs don't work and stuff. But I kind of tricked. I started like, I did like old timey radio. I'm like. So I ran to the bedroom. Anyway, I did pretty good. But at the end of the show, I just thought it was a cool concept. At the end of the show, the host goes back up and he goes, thank you. I just want to let you know all the money we made tonight has gone to organization that raises awareness for blindness. In case apparently people aren't aware that there's blind people on earth. And this was odd. Does anyone not.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't understand. I don't understand what was so odd about they were raising money for blind people.

[Turner Sparks]

Nobody was like a blind awareness. Like, I don't.

[Phil Duckett]

It was a blind awareness show.

[Turner Sparks]

Is anyone not aware that blind people exist? No.

[Phil Duckett]

What's so hard about this?

[Turner Sparks]

Are we not aware of blind people?

[Phil Duckett]

I think just what they call it. So they can get money and steal it, but, I mean, they never.

[Turner Sparks]

That's my point.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, blind we. I got you.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Okay, who's not aware of who. Are there commercials on tv? Like, everyone stop. Are you doing. There's. There's this thing called blind people.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm telling you, though, if I'm some real. And I'm not trying because, I don't know. There's a comedian who has a bit about this, so I don't want to take their bit. But it is true. Technology has advanced in every realm, but in blind, they still got these motherfuckers banging sticks on the street. And that's some weird. Like, think about. That's the first tool they gave them when blind people first dropped. And now we have solo driving cars right now, and they still got sticks. Why don't they have any type of echolocation? Why don't we have VR headphones, like, eyesight? Why can't y'all give them vision?

[Turner Sparks]

Okay, but the money should go to that. And not just awareness.

[Phil Duckett]

That's what the awareness is. We aware that we fucking these blind.

[Turner Sparks]

People, but then what are we doing about it? But just being aware.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. I don't know why we haven't helped them out more. I think we think they're powerful well beyond belief and don't want to give them a leg up. Because when, you know, when you lose one sense, all your other shit gets way stronger. And if we start helping blind people out too much, well, it's a slippery slope.

[Turner Sparks]

It's competition for the rest of us.

[Phil Duckett]

They're probably X Men anyway.

[Turner Sparks]

Point is, they're not going to like Carrot Top.

[Phil Duckett]

They're not. All right, I'm over Carrot Top.

[Turner Sparks]

What do. Yeah, what do you think? Oh, you want to.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't. Yeah, I want. Because I'm just saying. I'm with the guy who asked the question. I don't get it. I've never thought he was funny. Back when I was a kid, I thought it was kind of like, what the is this? And now even still, I'm like, oh, he's still alive.

[Turner Sparks]

I defend him more now than I did when I was a kid.

[Phil Duckett]

Really?

[Turner Sparks]

Because of the fact that it's so hard to make a living.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, that's what I'm saying now. As a comedian, I respect that.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, Told me that.

[Phil Duckett]

But again, if you. You gave me tickets to go see Carrot Top, I wouldn't go.

[Turner Sparks]

You wouldn't go see him? I would 100 go. Just out of curiosity of, like, it's props I don't know.

[Phil Duckett]

Is he gonna put me on? I'm gonna get to be a. Give a guess what.

[Turner Sparks]

He's not giving you time.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, then I'm definitely not going to give you time. I got props.

[Turner Sparks]

I will say this in white comedy, okay? There is a spectrum of it, and it goes Carrot Top is on one end. The one where, like, you don't have to use your brain at all. You just show up and you laugh. Right. And literally there's no thought. And then there's. On the other end of this, I'm going to say, is Hannah Gatsby. There's not really much laughing going on, but it's a lot of thinking.

[Phil Duckett]

You name dropped him. You feel very solid.

[Turner Sparks]

How you know, what's she going to do?

[Phil Duckett]

How you know Hannah ain't going to take us on tour one day.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm pretty sure she's not going to take me on tour one day.

[Phil Duckett]

Name dropper. She sucks.

[Turner Sparks]

No, no, I'm just saying she's like a real thinker.

[Phil Duckett]

He is.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, it's a real. Hmm. You know, it's a lot of that when you go watch.

[Phil Duckett]

Let me tell you something. That's the last thing I want to do at a show.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, me too. I mean, of course. But me, the TED Talk, some people enjoy them.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Type of comedy.

[Phil Duckett]

Those are.

[Turner Sparks]

So anyway, that's what I'm saying. It's.

[Phil Duckett]

It does. And it's subjective. That's what makes comedy good.

[Turner Sparks]

You and I end up somewhere between characters.

[Phil Duckett]

I would pray. I would pray somewhere between the.

[Turner Sparks]

And the. Okay, but if.

[Phil Duckett]

As long as they spy on tickets, you. Right. They'll take all the way to the bank.

[Turner Sparks]

I would say. Yeah, exactly. Put me on Netflix all day long.

[Phil Duckett]

Shit.

[Turner Sparks]

All right. Luke and Queens. I'm a white guy who started dating a black woman. She has invited me to a barbecue party with her Jamaican family in Brownsville, Brooklyn, this weekend. Sheesh. We should let the audience know. Brownsville.

[Phil Duckett]

Brownsville. It is still 1983 in Brownsville. Do not go there. The gentrification has never touched it. It is the real deal. Yeah, Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

A good, good description.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

What do I need to do to prepare for this event?

[Phil Duckett]

Probably check yourself into the ER in advance. I would just go ahead and call out on this.

[Turner Sparks]

Like, you book a hotel room. Can you go on, like, whatever. TripAdvisor or not and pre book a ER visit?

[Phil Duckett]

No, no, I would just jump in front of an Uber. Like, somebody can hit you. Just. I just need a little touch, a little bump.

[Turner Sparks]

Just get out of it.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. And I'm. Oh, I'm. Yeah. Now this is my. I have. I'm at the hospital, babe. I was. I was hit by a car. Are you crazy?

[Turner Sparks]

Don't go to. Don't.

[Phil Duckett]

How long have you been dating her? That's what I want to know. You know what I mean? Because is she the one? Is it. Because if it's just a fling. Yeah, it ain't worth that.

[Turner Sparks]

Don't go to.

[Phil Duckett]

Don't even go. Don't even go, man, because I'm. I'm. Listen, I'm black as hell, and my. I got a couple. Some of my closest friends are from Brooklyn.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

All right. And the. When I moved here nine years ago, I'll never get it. He was like, a couple things. He was like. About the subway. He was like. And never go to East New York, he said. Ever, he said, unless I'm with you or somebody. He said, but. He said, but I don't go there, so you'll never go. He's like, I don't care if she bad as want to suck everything off of. He said. He said, do not go. He was like, Because I'm telling you, he said, it's different over there. And that was a real New Yorker telling me that. And I've. To this day, I've gone to East New York maybe one time, and I was with somebody from there, and he was like. He was like, no, he was like, we good. But, you know, be aware of your surroundings. When people have to tell you that when they get. When you get to their house, be aware of your surroundings. It's an uneasy feeling. So why am I here? I don't like being in places where I can't relax. You know what I mean?

[Turner Sparks]

It's amazing. Yeah, I've been. I've been to Brownsville once. No, I think twice.

[Phil Duckett]

You got more street credit than me.

[Turner Sparks]

I went because when I first moved.

[Phil Duckett]

Here, you repoed somebody's house.

[Turner Sparks]

I had no health care, so I just come back to the U.S. i had, like, no credit, no anything, no health care. So I signed up for Obamacare. And at that time, you had to go in person. You couldn't do it online. So I had my agent, or whatever the state assigns you to, was in Brownsville, so I had to go to her office in Brownsville. It was terrifying.

[Phil Duckett]

No, it's.

[Turner Sparks]

And I went at like 11am that's what I'm saying.

[Phil Duckett]

With the sun's out.

[Turner Sparks]

And the third time I went. She was like. I went three Times. Because I remember the third time, she's like, never come back here. We can do it all online.

[Phil Duckett]

You look like free lunch.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, Free lunch.

[Phil Duckett]

You look like, free.

[Turner Sparks]

I look like a salami sandwich.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Barbecue chicken. They're like, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

She's like, you shouldn't be walking around this neighborhood.

[Phil Duckett]

You were over waving at random people. Hi, guys.

[Turner Sparks]

Hey.

[Phil Duckett]

Beautiful day.

[Turner Sparks]

I was doing the Australian guy. I might. What are you doing? I remember just getting off the subway at the Brownsville stop and being like.

[Phil Duckett]

You know, Mike Tyson's from Brownsville.

[Turner Sparks]

Is he?

[Phil Duckett]

That's where he's from. Yeah. It's still the exact same, untouched.

[Turner Sparks]

It's rough.

[Phil Duckett]

It is terrifying.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay, so don't go.

[Phil Duckett]

Don't go.

[Turner Sparks]

That's a good answer. Next one. Oh, here we go. I have a list from Olivia in Brooklyn. Shout out, Olivia. I have a black female roommate who takes a long time in the bathroom every morning getting ready for work. It wasn't a problem at first, but now it's making me late for work and jeopardizing my job. How do I politely ask her to speed it up a little bit without making her mad at me?

[Phil Duckett]

The energy. Speed it up a little bit.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

I'd probably go in there with a little different energy. But here's the thing.

[Turner Sparks]

Would you go in clapping like, come on.

[Phil Duckett]

Hello. Can you fight? You go in there clapping and you gonna get clapped. That's all. Yeah, I would not do it like that.

[Turner Sparks]

It's a one bathroom situation.

[Phil Duckett]

One bathroom situation. And that's the thing. But I think. I think you. You have a talk with her, like just over a glass of wine on some friendship, like, hey, so can we get bathroom times, like, separate apart? Like, what time do you have to be overtime? And can we come up with a plan? Because I've been a little late and I don't want to rush you and I want you to have enough time, but I also need to. And just have a talk like that also, girl, but if you come in there, like, could you please move it along? You're gonna get beat the fuck up. That's just.

[Turner Sparks]

I think what you want to do is you bottle it up and then you let it explode at 7:30 in the morning when you're late for work.

[Phil Duckett]

That is one way to do it.

[Turner Sparks]

As I'm telling you, just ham sandwich in your mouth, like halfway through breakfast going, come on, let's go. Open up the curtain.

[Phil Duckett]

You're gonna be able to cut that tension in that house. And there's nothing worse than Beefing with your roommate, you know, and the thing is, you know what's crazy in New York, New Yorkers on very few. Like we're at our age where you might have a roommate, you know, I mean, like I live.

[Turner Sparks]

Adults have roommates.

[Phil Duckett]

Adults have. 40 year olds have roommates in New York City, anywhere else, people are laughing at you like, you fucking bum. Like in the south, you just. It's unheard of, you know, I mean, you just don't do that another play Midwest at our age, you just don't.

[Turner Sparks]

It's because you can rent an apartment for like 800 bucks a month, right?

[Phil Duckett]

Exactly.

[Turner Sparks]

The suburbs somewhere. Here it's like three grand.

[Phil Duckett]

Exactly. So we got to do it. So it's. It's totally different. But I just. You. The whole roommate thing is crazy because you want to have peace in your home. There is nothing worse than coming home from a long day at work and you fucking hate your roommate. It's just you don't, you don't, you don't rest well. It's. And because you're like any fucking thing he says, I'm a whoop his ass. That's how you think when you're at work. Yes, it's terrible. So I think you have to try to keep the peace no matter what. And you kind of have to diffuse the situation if you can.

[Turner Sparks]

I think the backup option if that doesn't work is you just move out.

[Phil Duckett]

Damn. Already I think you out of your own say shit like, that's it. I'm.

[Turner Sparks]

You want to be as. You want to be extra safe.

[Phil Duckett]

You want to be extra white lady, move out. Out in the middle of the night.

[Turner Sparks]

You just move out and you go bank. It's been a pleasure.

[Phil Duckett]

And leave the black lady with the rest of the rent. You piece of.

[Turner Sparks]

You gotta save yourself at some point.

[Phil Duckett]

You gotta save it. You're the worst type of roommate. I'm just gonna separate myself from the situation. You owe me some rent.

[Turner Sparks]

At some point you got to get out. You could, you could pay a month, you know, an extra month damn pay.

[Phil Duckett]

That you would pay. You would pay an extra month of rent just to get out early.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm saying there's a level of awkwardness that people sometimes don't want to deal with.

[Phil Duckett]

They're just saying could, could we like.

[Turner Sparks]

Come up with a time that doesn't work?

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, if that doesn't work. I'm like, that was your first. Okay, if that.

[Turner Sparks]

I said it's a backup if that doesn't work.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, no, I'M a fight for mine.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm just trying. I'm trying to help our listeners.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm like, last man standing gets the bathroom.

[Turner Sparks]

Are you ready to fight? All right, last one, Last one. I. Oh, my God. I think this one's. I did not write this, but this is very much directed at me. This is Kevin in Dallas. He says I'm a white guy that has only ever dated Asian women. That's not actually exactly true with me, but white guy has only ever dated Asian women. Lots of people say I have a fetish, but I don't think so. I just like what I like. Am I wrong? No, I think you're not wrong. Absolutely, you're not wrong. I'm going to take this one. My wife is Chinese. There is a way that people get a white guy with an Asian woman. Get treated. You get treated. It's an. By all accounts, this is an interracial relationship. Right? America 2024. We're supposed to love interracial. Oh, my. Especially like the liberals. It's great. Oh, my. Good for you. Yay. Interracial relationship. You know, white women, interracial. There's none of that energy when it's the white guy. Asian lady, really, it's the. Who's the creep with the Asian lady?

[Phil Duckett]

They think you're a creep.

[Turner Sparks]

100%. It's a FET. They call it a fetish. They look at the Asian fetish. The guy with the Asian fetish, yikes. Lock him up. What's wrong with him? Put him in prison. And I know. I think I blame Woody Allen.

[Phil Duckett]

I think it's Woody Allen, Woody Allen's stepdaughter, Asian.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. But the main part is that it's his daughter, not that she's an Asian.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

The headline that white people take out of it is that he dated an Asian. He's such a creep. And I go, no, he dated his daughter.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. And then John Lennon had Yoko. Me.

[Turner Sparks]

And. Yeah, but that was. Well, she was the weirdo in that Lennon was. Okay. I also blame. In. In. You ever see Coming to. Not coming to America? No, no, no. Like a Good morning, good morning, Vietnam.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. I'm with Robin Williams.

[Turner Sparks]

Robin Williams goes over there, starts dating, wants to start dating this Vietnamese girl.

[Phil Duckett]

And then find out she had a no.

[Turner Sparks]

Her brothers go, no, no, no, you're not allowed to date my sister. Not allowed to date my sister. And he's like, I don't care.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm an American.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm gonna date your sister. Finally, the girl, like, relents like 45 minutes into the movie. The first 45 minutes is he's just pushing. And she's like, no, no, no, no, no. Finally he says yes. And then you find out the reason why the brother didn't want to date him is because Robin Williams whole platoon blew up their village.

[Phil Duckett]

And so she was just.

[Turner Sparks]

And she's like, I don't want to date the guy who blew up my village.

[Phil Duckett]

She had no choice.

[Turner Sparks]

But then she had no choice, so Rob Williams did. And then Rob Williams leaves.

[Phil Duckett]

He Pocahontas her.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, he. Then he's, he's dating her and then he leaves and goes back to America. And then we're. That he's like the hero of the story. Yeah, I could see if you see that. You're like, yeah, those eight, those white guys are kind of like a holes.

[Phil Duckett]

Not kind of.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, but not all of us are blowing up villages.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, and also you had the opportunity.

[Turner Sparks]

Here's, here's the, here's the racism, the underlying racism here of the people who think this way. Asian people aren't poor anymore. This isn't like you're going into an impoverished village and dating like someone who has no other options. Crazy rich Asians exist.

[Phil Duckett]

That is like 1% not.

[Turner Sparks]

That's so untrue.

[Phil Duckett]

How many Asian rich Asians is it now? They're mostly rich.

[Turner Sparks]

I would. Millions.

[Phil Duckett]

They have millions of rich people.

[Turner Sparks]

Millions. When I was living in China, the middle class, and this is like 10 years ago, the middle class of China was the size of the United states. There's over 300 million middle class people in China.

[Phil Duckett]

Really?

[Turner Sparks]

But you go out there now, people are driving Corvettes, Bentleys. And this isn't just a tiny amount of people. This is, they've had now like since the like three decades.

[Phil Duckett]

How are they getting so much money?

[Turner Sparks]

Money, money, money, money. How do they get. Because they're sole focus, the government's sole focus is business.

[Phil Duckett]

Really?

[Turner Sparks]

Internationally. So they're making deals with the us they're making deals with Europe. They're making deals with everybody. Any good you buy? That shirt was probably made in China.

[Phil Duckett]

100%.

[Turner Sparks]

So then there's this idea that. Oh, it's like only there's these like children making these shirts. Well, guess what, there's also a guy who owns the factory. There's also middle management that employs a thousand people. All of them are Chinese people.

[Phil Duckett]

Damn.

[Turner Sparks]

Anyway, point is we gotta. I'm on this guy's side. Date whoever you want to date. Don't let racism.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't I think it's okay to have a preference. That's what I'm saying. I mean, unless you do some weirdo shit, you know, I mean, but, like, it's okay to have a preference in what you like. Like, that's. People have gotten so weird with this. Like, you. It's okay to, like, this is what I like. Like, when did that become a thing? Now, if you're. Now if you're putting down other races and then like. Like all these other people are ugly as. But these people. That is a weird. But if you're open, like, you know, you just. You have, like a certain look that you like, that's. That's okay. Like, I don't understand that.

[Turner Sparks]

Agreed. I also think there's. There is a respect issue you want to attach to it a bit. Like, I've met white guys who, like, date people from, say, China or the Philippines, Vietnam, and then they don't. They know. They've never been to that country. They don't know. They don't speak the language at all. They've never. They're like, I don't. I don't like Chinese food.

[Phil Duckett]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

And you're like, well, you probably should have some respect. Get to know the culture a bit, learn some of the languages.

[Phil Duckett]

Fucking shrimp chips.

[Turner Sparks]

Eat the shrimp chips.

[Phil Duckett]

You think your wife would like those? You think she would.

[Turner Sparks]

She loves. We talked to. She said yes. She's into these.

[Phil Duckett]

Y'all can keep them.

[Turner Sparks]

All right. I think that's it. That's the show.

[Phil Duckett]

That's it for me, baby. Y'all enjoy them chips. I'm out.

[Turner Sparks]

See you next time.

[Phil Duckett]

To the test. They're all in the dice. They ain't always nice, but you can't think twice and get it black and white at.

[C]

Got something on your mind you need to talk about? Forget texting. Just call up a friend so you can hear a voice. It might be old school, but it helps. This healthy suggestion is brought to you by Regents Blue Cross Blue Shield of Oregon. Together we help.

[D]

How do you feel when you switch to GEICO and save on your car insurance? It's like going to work on one Thursday morning and thinking to yourself, just one more day until Friday. But then somebody in the elevator says, happy Friday. Then you check your phone quickly and discover today is actually Friday. So, yes, Happy Friday, random stranger in the elevator. Happy Friday indeed. Yep. Switching and saving with GEICO feels just like that. Get more with geico.