Monroe Martin & "Why Do White Dudes Love Acoustic Guitar?"

Summary

Black and White Advice: Monroe Martin & "Why Do White Dudes Love Acoustic Guitar?"

Released on March 25, 2025

Hosts: Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett
Guest: Monroe Martin

---

Introduction

In this episode of Black and White Advice, hosts Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett welcome comedian Monroe Martin to discuss the intriguing question: "Why Do White Dudes Love Acoustic Guitar?" The trio delves into a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful commentary on race, cultural stereotypes, and shared experiences.

---

Patreon Updates and Live Show Announcement

The episode kicks off with Turner and Phil expressing gratitude towards their Patreon supporters. They humorously discuss their near-achievements, including the possibility of sending Phil to his first punk rock show and throwing him into a mosh pit.

Notable Quote:
Turner Sparks [00:10]: "If you join our Patreon, you get in for free."

They also announce their first live show scheduled for May 22nd at the New York Comedy Club, offering free entry to Patreon subscribers and outlining ticket pricing for general attendees.

---

Experiences of Black Individuals in China

Monroe Martin shares his experiences performing stand-up comedy in China, highlighting the unique challenges and curiosities faced by black comedians abroad.

Notable Quotes:
Monroe Martin [03:40]: "Phil feels so safe. Probably safe. Ever been?"
Phil Duckett [04:17]: "Why is your skin brack. That's crazy."

Monroe humorously recounts interactions where locals mistook black individuals for other races, emphasizing the feeling of being perpetually observed and examined.

---

Main Discussion: Why Do White Dudes Love Acoustic Guitar?

The core of the episode revolves around understanding why acoustic guitars are prevalent among white fraternity members. The conversation touches upon:

1. Fraternity Culture and Stepping:
   Monroe explains the tradition of stepping in black fraternities compared to the less choreographed stroll seen in white fraternities.

   Notable Quote:
   Phil Duckett [14:24]: "What's the context for me to show you that my fraternity is better than yours?"

2. Stereotypes and Musical Choices:
   The hosts humorously debate the prevalence of acoustic guitar among white men, suggesting it’s an easy instrument to master with minimal effort, often used as a social tool.

   Notable Quote:
   Turner Sparks [15:21]: "It's the easiest. You can learn, like, three chords in 30 minutes, and then you say 'Tim,' and then use it to try to get laid."

3. Musical Proficiency and Intentions:
   They critique the skill level of amateur acoustic players, comparing casual guitar playing to the artistry of professional musicians.

   Notable Quote:
   Phil Duckett [15:36]: "And the problem I have with white people in acoustic is they're never that good."

Throughout the segment, the hosts interject with personal stories and playful banter, offering a lighthearted exploration of cultural norms and personal preferences.

---

Wrestling and Representation: Monday Night Raw

Transitioning from music, the conversation shifts to professional wrestling, particularly Monday Night Raw. The hosts and Monroe discuss:

1. Cultural Influence in Wrestling:
   Analyzing the significance of black wrestlers and their impact on the sport's popularity among different demographics.

   Notable Quote:
   Monroe Martin [27:29]: "Black people love Triple H&DX. You know what I Mean, like, we can really."

2. Behind-the-Scenes Insights:
   Monroe provides insider knowledge about WWE’s operations, including managerial structures and the influence of prominent figures like The Rock.

   Notable Quote:
   Phil Duckett [24:36]: "They covering the WWE women."

3. Comedy and Wrestling Intersection:
   The hosts highlight the presence of comedians within the wrestling community, emphasizing the blend of entertainment and athleticism.

---

Final Segment: White Lies and Dark Truths

In the concluding part of the episode, Joe Russell joins to fact-check various claims made during the discussion, adding an educational layer to the humorous dialogue.

1. Guitar Abandonment Rates:
   Russell verifies Fender Guitar's statistic that 90% of new guitar players abandon playing within a year.

   Notable Quote:
   Joe Russell [39:05]: "That makes sense."

2. Identifying Jewish Individuals:
   Addressing the earlier discussion on distinguishing Jewish individuals from white gentiles, Russell underscores the importance of direct communication.

   Notable Quote:
   Joe Russell [39:20]: "The most respectful and accurate way is to ask them directly."

3. Skydiving Fatality Rates:
   Clarifying concerns about skydiving safety, Russell presents data indicating a low fatality rate in the United States.

   Notable Quote:
   Joe Russell [39:47]: "It's the fatality rate... the lowest ever recorded since it began in like 1961."

---

Conclusion

The episode wraps up with Turner and Phil encouraging listeners to join their Patreon for exclusive content and free tickets to their upcoming live show. The hosts maintain their signature blend of humor and candid conversation, leaving listeners both entertained and informed.

Notable Quote:
Turner Sparks [41:11]: "Patreon subscribers, stick around and we got more show."

---

Key Takeaways

• Cultural Stereotypes: The episode dissects and humorously challenges stereotypes related to race and interests, particularly focusing on the acoustic guitar trend among white men.

• Black Experiences Abroad: Monroe Martin’s insights provide a window into the unique position of black individuals in predominantly white or foreign settings, like China.

• Intersection of Comedy and Wrestling: The discussion highlights how comedy and entertainment sectors, such as professional wrestling, intersect and influence each other.

• Educational Moments: The "White Lies and Dark Truths" segment serves to fact-check and inform, balancing the comedic elements with factual accuracy.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Turner Sparks [15:21]: "It's the easiest. You can learn, like, three chords in 30 minutes..."
• Phil Duckett [14:24]: "What's the context for me to show you that my fraternity is better than yours?"
• Monroe Martin [27:29]: "Black people love Triple H&DX. You know what I Mean..."
• Joe Russell [39:05]: "That makes sense."
• Joe Russell [39:20]: "The most respectful and accurate way is to ask them directly."

---

This episode of Black and White Advice masterfully blends humor with meaningful discussions, offering listeners a thoughtful exploration of race, culture, and societal norms through the lens of comedy.

Transcript

[Turner Sparks]

Drop some.

[Phil Duckett]

We just. Bill Nye, have you ever had a question you wanted to ask the opposite race, but you were too nervous to ask?

[Turner Sparks]

I'm Turner Sparks.

[Phil Duckett]

And I'm Phil Duckett.

[Turner Sparks]

And this is Black and White Advice.

[Phil Duckett]

Where we answer all your questions about race, even the scary ones.

[Turner Sparks]

This is Black and White Advice. You got a question but you're scared to ask. Just drop the boys a message. Cause they're up to the task.

[Phil Duckett]

They're rolling the dice.

[Turner Sparks]

They ain't always nice, but you can't.

[Phil Duckett]

Think twice and get it.

[Monroe Martin]

Black and white and light. Black and white.

[Turner Sparks]

All right. On the show today. Oh, we got you guys. Our Patreons blowing up. Thank you very much. Go to patreon.com backslash, backslash, front slash, whatever it is. Black and white advice. Forward slash, black and white advice. We're very close to sending Phil to his first ever punk rock show and throwing him in a mosh pit.

[Phil Duckett]

Looking at the band now, there are a couple options we're looking at, but I've always wanted to stage dive. So that's the first Patreon. Like six, two.

[Monroe Martin]

Okay. All right, cool.

[Turner Sparks]

I got three shows I'm going to coming up. No matter what. I'm going to see a band called Nerf Herder, a band called the Dead Milkman from Philly, and a band called the Queers.

[Phil Duckett]

And so we're not going to see the Queers.

[Turner Sparks]

We're going to see the Queers.

[Phil Duckett]

You know that right now Queers are badass. I'm not stage diving in a room full of Queers.

[Turner Sparks]

If the shows are lined up, if we can hit 250amonth with. Which only takes five more people putting in 20 bucks, and then we're going. We. We'll go to whichever one's in the lineup. And giant announcement, May 22nd. We're doing our first live show, baby, at New York Comedy Club. And if you join our Patreon, you get in for free. Yeah, I don't even know if we're allowed to announce that.

[Phil Duckett]

What do you mean? It's major. We've got to promote it.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay, cool. No, I mean the free part for the pay. Well, I guess we have to tell people. Yeah. So pay the show's going to be. It's $25. 25 to 35 bucks.

[Phil Duckett]

Two drink minimum. You want to get on the Patreon, so all you gotta do is pay that two drink minimum with your broker.

[Turner Sparks]

You throw in five bucks on our Patreon, you get in for. You get on the Guest list.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, so just do that.

[Turner Sparks]

Just do that.

[Monroe Martin]

Even add like a. If they pay $50, then they get a free drink with. They take it.

[Turner Sparks]

Then we're just buying them drinks. Yeah, that's not a bad idea.

[Monroe Martin]

You get that money back, though.

[Turner Sparks]

That's a maybe. That's a 100.

[Phil Duckett]

Don't let Monroe have us go bankrupt with his ass.

[Turner Sparks]

So Bill's doing stand up. I'm doing stand up. Joe the Muscle Russell, AKA the Maharashi, is doing stand up.

[Joe Russell]

He's doing the check sp.

[Turner Sparks]

Now you're in seat. You're hosting the show. And then. And then we're gonna be taking your black and white advice questions live. And we're not recording this. I don't think this should come out as like an episode. This is for the live audience.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, you gotta come see this.

[Turner Sparks]

So come New York Comedy Club, May 22. All right? On the show right now, we got, you know, from the Tonight show, from the last OG inside, Amy Schumer. That damn Michael Shea show, everybody. Monroe Martin.

[Monroe Martin]

How you doing? Yeah, what's up? Hey, y'all. How are you doing?

[Turner Sparks]

From his performances in Shanghai, China.

[Monroe Martin]

That was fun, man.

[Turner Sparks]

Wuxi, China. He performed in China?

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He brought me out there. Kung fu comedy.

[Turner Sparks]

We've known each other for like 10 years.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, I know his whole Mr. Softy story because he owned that.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, he told me.

[Monroe Martin]

I just found out he was trapping. You know, this was trapping out the ice cream. He was a big worm and then got muscled out. Then these.

[Phil Duckett]

No, he told me.

[Monroe Martin]

He told me.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, the government.

[Monroe Martin]

How dare. Dare you sell ice cream over here?

[Phil Duckett]

That's crazy. As should have gone down coke.

[Turner Sparks]

They kicked me out.

[Phil Duckett]

You can't.

[Turner Sparks]

I might as well should just sold coke.

[Phil Duckett]

The way they treated you. I'd have sold the big.

[Turner Sparks]

You're getting kicked out anyway.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, let's sell opium it.

[Turner Sparks]

So what was it like? I've been trying to. Cuz Phil wants to go to China.

[Monroe Martin]

You should go. It's. It's. It's.

[Turner Sparks]

As a black guy in. What's it like for a black man in China?

[Monroe Martin]

Phil feels so safe. Probably safe. Ever been?

[Phil Duckett]

You're seven feet taller than everybody?

[Monroe Martin]

No, but not even that. Like you're never looked at. Like. Like you're like a predator or a criminal or some. Only thing you gotta worry about. Everybody touch you because they want to see everybody.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, everybody touches you.

[Monroe Martin]

Everybody. Because when I decided to like walk around by myself during the day, you know what I mean? And like, I would just Be walking? I didn't tell you that, but, yeah, I'll just be walking. If I'm in lines, I might get close enough and they'll be like, this.

[Phil Duckett]

Some show and tell.

[Monroe Martin]

Just like this.

[Turner Sparks]

Just to see what you feel like.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, just to feel it.

[Phil Duckett]

Why is your skin brack. That's crazy. I actually. I've actually. I follow a couple of, like, accounts of black people that live in China, and they're always like, why your skin dirty? And I'm like, dirty? Get the fuck out of there. The fuck? Yeah, they were just very curious. They thought it was dirt. And I'm like, so y'all don't never see no Negroes? That's crazy as hell. Yo.

[Monroe Martin]

It's so weird. I went to the Great Wall with. There was, like, somebody who I was hanging with out there.

[Turner Sparks]

With Andy, maybe?

[Monroe Martin]

No, it was a flight. It was a flight. Flight attendant. It was a flight attendant.

[Phil Duckett]

He was kicking it with the.

[Monroe Martin]

I told you that.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, I forgot about it because I.

[Monroe Martin]

Asked you if I can bring her.

[Turner Sparks]

I forgot about that.

[Monroe Martin]

I was like, yo, can I, like. Because he was like, yo, you want to see the Great Wall? And I'm like, yeah, but I got somebody.

[Phil Duckett]

On the 16 hour flight you met up. Like, this is some rush hour.

[Monroe Martin]

Go in.

[Phil Duckett]

And then she was like. She just like, what's up with you?

[Turner Sparks]

So it's the wildest request I've ever had as a comedy producer. Hey, so can I get two of everything?

[Monroe Martin]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

Not.

[Turner Sparks]

But not Bo.

[Phil Duckett]

You was kicking it.

[Monroe Martin]

I was kicking it. So I just met her on the plane. She was being flirty. I'm flirting. So she was just like, like, what are you doing here? I'm like, oh, I'm over here for comedy. Blah, blah, blah. She's like, oh, like, do you know any. Do you know anybody? I'm like, nah. But like, how long do you stay? Like, you fly right back. She was like, no, I can stay for however long I want. So I was like, bet, what's that? And that was the first time I ever downloaded WhatsApp. Downloaded WhatsApp. And it was on.

[Phil Duckett]

My boy was on that dim sum. He had a pork button.

[Monroe Martin]

Black. She was a black chick from Paris.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm thinking she was Asian this whole time. No, okay, that's. I'm like, okay.

[Monroe Martin]

But I did hook up with an Asian chick at the show that we met. The john. That's like. I remember walking there and she was like, why'd you walk? But it was.

[Turner Sparks]

You walked to the comedy club at home.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, but it was like. I'm trying to remember which show this was because this one was like in the. On like the side of like some weird road and shit. Probably raining that day. I don't think it was Shanghai.

[Phil Duckett]

Probably like when the Triads hangouts we went to.

[Monroe Martin]

Well, it was a bar. It was the only, like, bar bar. Because the rest of them were like.

[Turner Sparks]

That was in Sujo.

[Monroe Martin]

That was in Sujo.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, because it was.

[Phil Duckett]

Sujo was in Korea.

[Turner Sparks]

No, that's soju, which is a drink drink in Sujo is a city where my wife is from. That's where I lived for 12 years.

[Monroe Martin]

But it didn't count because she was Canadian. She was Asian, but she's Canadian.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was all excited and she was like, oh, I'm from Canada. But I was here, bummed out, and I'm like, this don't count.

[Turner Sparks]

I was.

[Phil Duckett]

Mr. Monroe, I was not familiar with your game, son. Oh, dog, my boy. Our tours were pretty good before I got married, dog. I was shaking.

[Monroe Martin]

Move.

[Phil Duckett]

Hey, that's that Philly bull. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

I mean, I would tell you, we thought when we started booking this tour, it was like 2012 and we're like, I don't know if anyone's going to want to come do this.

[Phil Duckett]

Why did you stop booking the tour? Because they kicked you out of the country.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah. Went on two years longer after I left. But I moved to New York to do Stand up, to Do It Ice Cream Gate. But. But when we start booking it, we're like, no, I don't know how. Who's going to want to come to China and do this thing? The first comic who did it just hooked up the entire time. And then he went back. He was LA comic. Went back to la. Just told every single comedian. We. We were flooded with calls of guys who like, when can I come? When can I come? Agents are like, I got nine of my clients wanting to go do your tour.

[Phil Duckett]

Bring it back.

[Turner Sparks]

And then the New York comics came and then they told everybody. And then it was, what would it take? What would it take? It would probably take the government going back to what they were in 2012.

[Phil Duckett]

They don't allow stand up anymore.

[Monroe Martin]

No, you got it. You can't say whatever you want. Because I remember after every show. So there's some people. No before show, some people in the crowd and they may be spies. So no jokes about.

[Turner Sparks]

But then it went from there maybe to, oh, there are. And we're all kicked out of the. You know, not me. I didn't get kicked out for that. I didn't.

[Phil Duckett]

But are you really banned from the country right now?

[Turner Sparks]

No, no, no, I didn't get kicked out of the country. My business got taken away. But I know people who did get banned from the country for saying the wrong thing. People were put on. Banned from doing stand up for six months at a time. It went from totally cool. Like, when you were there, it was basically just, hey, just don't say anything bad about this one specific topic, which you're probably is not going to be part of your act anyway.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And then everything else is fine. And then like three years later, there was raids during shows and all that kind of stuff.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah. So this is a good time, though. I'm telling you. A lot of black people. I met so many black people that were just expats and they were like teachers and. And it was fun. I had a good time.

[Phil Duckett]

See, I want to go with y'all scare me now, like, because I'm. Oh, because, you know, I'm say, I started drinking. I'm gonna say some bullshit.

[Turner Sparks]

We can't say it on stage. You can't say it on stage talking.

[Phil Duckett]

You can like.

[Turner Sparks]

And if somebody's like, I'm from the Shanghai Daily Newspaper, you don't say it into a microphone either.

[Phil Duckett]

I'll be like, fudge kimchi.

[Monroe Martin]

But I think that's fine. Right?

[Turner Sparks]

That's Korean.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, I think.

[Turner Sparks]

I think they'll be cool with that. They'll be like, we agree the wrong place. Like, yeah, I'll totally agree with you.

[Monroe Martin]

I'ma say this, though. As long it's like one of those places where if you stick to your set, you'll have the most fun. Like, if you just go, let me do what I do everywhere, you're going to have more fun than if you'd be like, let me riff and see. Yeah, you'll have way more fun just because they appreciate that shit.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

Even, like, people would do New York jokes. And half the crowd. These are like expats living in Shanghai. They've been around the world. They've all been to New York. They know the difference between Brooklyn and Queens. And in Manhattan, you know, listen, just.

[Phil Duckett]

Something to think about. Black and white, Shanghai edition. We do one live show over there.

[Turner Sparks]

As long as we're on our best behavior, we might be able to turn.

[Phil Duckett]

It's me.

[Turner Sparks]

I like how you'll. Out of ignorance. You'll be fine. You'll be like, kimchi. And they're like, yeah, I don't like sushi. Either.

[Phil Duckett]

What's the deal with Confucius?

[Turner Sparks]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Monroe Martin]

I bought. Remember that one show I bought? I basically gave the money back that you gave me because I did the whole shots thing.

[Turner Sparks]

You bought around a shots for like the whole bar?

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah. And then at the end they got the bill. I was like, damn, I just performed here for free.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, man.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, you was feeling rich Rich?

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, I thought I was, but that.

[Turner Sparks]

Was confusing because like in the city, I lived in Suzhou, which is an hour away from Shanghai, and in Suzhou, which is also a big city, it was like Philly to New York City. In my city, you could buy a round of shots. Shots are a dollar.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So people would for their birthday, buy literally 100 shots for the bar and then it'd be fine. But when you got to Shanghai an hour away, shots were like $8.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So you had to be careful.

[Monroe Martin]

I still turned up.

[Turner Sparks]

You should have bought those last night.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh my God.

[Monroe Martin]

Good time though.

[Turner Sparks]

That was a blast, man. All right, well, we got questions and I know we gotta get in and out. Should we get to our question?

[Phil Duckett]

Let's get straight.

[Turner Sparks]

Alright, we will be right back, everybody with your black and white advice, questions and answers.

[Monroe Martin]

Geico's motorcycle expertise means I'm covered by people who know bikes like I do.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm happy as a clam.

[Monroe Martin]

No conclusive scientific research has shown clams can experience happiness.

[Turner Sparks]

I just meant that I feel really.

[Monroe Martin]

Good about my coverage. I mean, even if you took the clam out for the best day ever, visiting the zoo, taking a scenic ride, knowing you're insured by specialists, and sharing a strawberry ice cream cone together, the clam would not feel happy and your strawberry cone would taste sorta clammy. Ew. Geico's motorcycle specialists who know bikes like you do assume no liability for clammy ice cream cones. GEICO expertise for your motorcycle.

[Turner Sparks]

Hey, you want to get bonus content early episodes and have your questions answered on the show?

[Phil Duckett]

Well, then subscribe to our [e-mail] blackand whiteadvice and subscribe right now.

[Turner Sparks]

Do it and we'll give you a shout out on a future episode.

[Phil Duckett]

And I might call you the N word.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, we're back. First question comes to us from Tony in Eugene, Oregon. He says, I'm a 19 years old and black. I just joined the Sigma Chi fraternity at University of Oregon.

[Phil Duckett]

Whoa, you went white? He went to a white fraternity at a white school.

[Monroe Martin]

That's where you messed up.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, like they ain't Got Q dogs at motherfucking Oregon. What you doing? Alphas.

[Monroe Martin]

Kappas.

[Turner Sparks]

He goes, this is my first full on experience with white dudes. Why do all white guys play acoustic guitar?

[Phil Duckett]

Stop worrying about what the fuck they do, Tony. We concerned about your ass.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, why'd you join a white fraternity?

[Phil Duckett]

All them interest meetings you could have gone to. And you seen them fucking khaki shorts was like, this is me.

[Monroe Martin]

This is me.

[Phil Duckett]

That is crazy as hell.

[Monroe Martin]

Do they even got a step?

[Phil Duckett]

No.

[Turner Sparks]

What is a step, Ab?

[Phil Duckett]

You see what I'm talking about?

[Turner Sparks]

I didn't join. I wasn't.

[Phil Duckett]

They stroll. They stepped. You know, I've never seen them step. Hey, I don't want to throw up the hooks. I almost got beat up. But. But no, you know, black fraternities, they step, they stroll. No, you've never seen a step?

[Monroe Martin]

No. White fraternity. I don't think I have embezzle.

[Turner Sparks]

Wait, what is. What is it? What is this?

[Phil Duckett]

They get away with sexual assault. That's all they do. Step team. Like, we'll have to look it up after the show. I'm sure people are really disappointed. You know, one thing I get from everybody that does listen to our. That, that they're like, I'm always shocked at what Turner doesn't know about black people. I'm like, in China. I said, yeah. I was like, he hasn't had a lot of experience with black people. They're like. But some of the things that he says is, like, mind blowing. I said, no, it is. Sometimes I'm shocked, too. That's why I'm like, damn, you just.

[Turner Sparks]

Said kimchi was Korean food.

[Phil Duckett]

And I think, first of all, there's nine black people that even know what kimchi is in general. So, I mean, let's get off me. But stepping is like, you ain't never seen stomp the yard. You ain't never see.

[Monroe Martin]

You gotta.

[Phil Duckett]

You all right, so you. I'm show you. I'll show you after this.

[Monroe Martin]

All right. Damn. I don't even know how to break it down.

[Phil Duckett]

It's like you. You step.

[Turner Sparks]

It's like.

[Monroe Martin]

So you remember what those Simones were doing at, like.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, like the haka?

[Monroe Martin]

It's that, but for college black people.

[Phil Duckett]

And it's not because. And there's way more rhythm. I don't want to say rhythm, because the. The Samoans are nice with that, and I like it. But stepping is a little different. And everything's on beat and every, like, all the claps come together, all the stomps are together, and it Makes.

[Turner Sparks]

I think I've seen that.

[Phil Duckett]

You have. Definitely.

[Monroe Martin]

The Samoan thing is for warriorship. This is for the.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, that was my question.

[Phil Duckett]

What's the context for me to show you that my. That my fraternity is better than yours? And the better. I step, the mo. Hose I get.

[Monroe Martin]

And it's coordination is style.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. If you step, you can fuck and.

[Turner Sparks]

You just walk through a college campus doing it, when would it be done?

[Phil Duckett]

It's on the yard.

[Monroe Martin]

It's on the yard. Is that step shows. It's fraternity parties and stuffing. Party.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Monroe Martin]

Living in Philly, they would just come to the club, and they all got.

[Phil Duckett]

Their jackets on with their green letters.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

It's. I went to an hbcu. It was a real big deal at my college.

[Monroe Martin]

I went to a community college, but I partied around, like, temple and stuff. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. White fraternity. Why does everybody play the acoustic guitar? Because y'all have pretty much lost every other type of musical genre. And so the acoustic.

[Turner Sparks]

I know the answer. It's the easiest. You can learn, like, three chords in 30 minutes, and then you say tim, and then use it to try to get laid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, actually. People who actually play an instrument. I grew up playing drums. If you play a real instrument, you're not playing it at, like, a party.

[Phil Duckett]

And the problem I have with white people in acoustic is they're never that good.

[Turner Sparks]

Not.

[Phil Duckett]

They're like, oh, hold on.

[Turner Sparks]

No, they're terrible.

[Phil Duckett]

Hold on. Fingers like, just play Guitar Hero. What are you doing?

[Turner Sparks]

I know. We know professional musicians. They're not playing at a party.

[Phil Duckett]

They don't break it out.

[Turner Sparks]

It's like.

[Phil Duckett]

It's like being a comedian. Something like, say something funny. Like you. Yeah, I'm not going to.

[Turner Sparks]

What am I doing? Street joke of comedian.

[Phil Duckett]

Exactly.

[Turner Sparks]

Acoustic.

[Phil Duckett]

That's my biggest. Just to the point now. I lie a lot. Somebody, like, people like, what do you do? I don't even say comedian because I almost hate it because they're like, you don't seem that funny. I'm like, what am I supposed to seem? Like, am I supposed to be a clown?

[Turner Sparks]

Tell me a joke.

[Phil Duckett]

You.

[Monroe Martin]

Do I amuse you?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Turn into Joe Peshy. That's literally where it said, I don't be me.

[Monroe Martin]

I just like, nah, I'm good. Right?

[Phil Duckett]

And they're like, come on. Yeah. They're like, you're not a real comedian.

[Monroe Martin]

I was like, okay, fine.

[Turner Sparks]

I always say, like, what do you do? They're like, I'm accountant. I'm like, do My tax.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, let's do some run numbers.

[Turner Sparks]

Do your work right now.

[Phil Duckett]

The. No.

[Turner Sparks]

Anyway, they do it to get laid. That's my answer.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, I agree.

[Turner Sparks]

And I don't even know if it works on that.

[Monroe Martin]

It got to work in order for people to do it in that high of numbers.

[Turner Sparks]

I guess it does.

[Phil Duckett]

You know, and acoustic guitars aren't cheap, so to get one to be bad at, it's pretty crazy.

[Turner Sparks]

You can get like a $51 at a pawn shop.

[Monroe Martin]

Really?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, you can.

[Monroe Martin]

What if you're a ukulele dude?

[Turner Sparks]

Electric.

[Monroe Martin]

Is more banjo.

[Turner Sparks]

Actually, you're right.

[Phil Duckett]

Ukulele is more impressive than an acoustic guitar.

[Turner Sparks]

It's easier to learn, but it's more unique at least. Like maybe you're Hawaiian or something, you know what I'm saying? They're like, I don't know how to.

[Monroe Martin]

Play like trap songs and rap songs. Cuz everybody like that. When you're like. When you take an instrument that isn't hip hop adjacent and then do some cool.

[Phil Duckett]

Let me tell you something. If I could fiddle, I'd fiddle a right out them draws.

[Monroe Martin]

Wait, what does about say Lelo? What does. What's the.

[Phil Duckett]

The big Liz.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, Lizo play the flute. Oh yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

She was just. She had Megan Stallion twerking when she was like. Yeah, I said she. She's a flute lady. She loves that.

[Turner Sparks]

I've never seen a dude get laid playing a flute.

[Phil Duckett]

No? No. Well, because they're looking for dick.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Well, so maybe they do then.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, they are.

[Turner Sparks]

Maybe they do. Next question mark. In Denver, Colorado. Oh, this is in reference to our last episode.

[Monroe Martin]

Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

He goes, last episode, Turner told a story of him and his friend being the only white guys at a Bob Marley festival. And the whole crowd of black people cheering for O.J. simpson when he came on stage. Then his friend said to him, I'm Jewish, I'll be fine. You need to get out of here. Something like that. My question is, can black people really tell the difference between Jews and white gentiles? I'm white and honestly, I can't tell the difference.

[Monroe Martin]

Absolutely you can.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, the nose.

[Turner Sparks]

Nose goes really that I couldn't until I moved to New York a couple years ago. And even that I get it wrong a lot.

[Monroe Martin]

It depends.

[Phil Duckett]

The yamaka gives it away.

[Turner Sparks]

No, not all Jews just wear yarmulke.

[Monroe Martin]

Real then Dark hair is usually like dark hair. What else?

[Phil Duckett]

Nosy.

[Monroe Martin]

It's a. The tent of the skin. Like you really find like that light Jew. Like are you Jewish? But you got it wrong. He's probably Italian. Yeah, you're Italian. And they look the same. So I can be like Russell's Italian name.

[Phil Duckett]

It's not his real last name, but.

[Monroe Martin]

They have the similar look. His name's like Andrew Dice Clay.

[Turner Sparks]

He's Joe Leibowitz.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah. But it's like the curly hair, dark hair, kind of dark features.

[Turner Sparks]

What percentage do you think you hit at?

[Monroe Martin]

I'm at least batting like 85% on no.

[Phil Duckett]

1 Jews.

[Monroe Martin]

I can either be like, you Jew, or that. So you Jew or are you Italian? But if you're like, like, if you're like, like a Middle Eastern Jew, I can nail it all the time.

[Turner Sparks]

We should do a game on here. Jew or not a Jew.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Jew or no Jew.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. At some point in the future episode.

[Phil Duckett]

So I'm never going to get an agent. Got it.

[Turner Sparks]

What do you think?

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, I just.

[Turner Sparks]

You can tell.

[Phil Duckett]

I call them all Jews.

[Turner Sparks]

Just all white people Jews.

[Monroe Martin]

You can tell, man.

[Phil Duckett]

Jews.

[Turner Sparks]

All right.

[Monroe Martin]

They proud of that, too.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Well, yeah, of course.

[Monroe Martin]

No, they ain't not gonna hide it.

[Turner Sparks]

Of course.

[Phil Duckett]

They feel like they chosen. They let you know pretty quick.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Monroe Martin]

So if you guess right, too, like Jewish. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

The other thing is, I would tell you, I, I, I've. People have thought I was Jewish at certain times in the past, I don't think, but it's never offended me.

[Monroe Martin]

I don't see it.

[Turner Sparks]

No, I don't either. I don't either. It's only when I moved. Only when I moved to New York and started doing comedy.

[Phil Duckett]

You're like Hitler.

[Turner Sparks]

There's a certain amount of people. I'm not blonde, though.

[Phil Duckett]

That would be blue eyes.

[Turner Sparks]

Are.

[Phil Duckett]

You're dirty blonde?

[Turner Sparks]

No, it's brown. Brown hair. But there was a certain amount of people who just put comedian New York City together every once in a while. People think I'm Jewish. I'm like, if you as a white guy with no real. You want something. You know what I mean?

[Monroe Martin]

We're part of. In New York.

[Turner Sparks]

California. Yeah. Northern California.

[Monroe Martin]

It's just, I was trying to see what type of, like, what is this?

[Phil Duckett]

Like, they ain't got them up.

[Monroe Martin]

There's just caucus mountains. Caucus mountains?

[Turner Sparks]

You talking about the Balkans?

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah. Like, where are you from?

[Turner Sparks]

Vladi and Pasha played for the King. So where are you from?

[Phil Duckett]

Like, you don't respect Vladi Divat was a Jew.

[Turner Sparks]

No, no, no.

[Monroe Martin]

We're talking about straight Caucasians.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My, they're, they're English. Just nothing.

[Monroe Martin]

Oh, okay.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. There's no real Just first Baltic. There's no crew. Everybody, like, he's got. What do you say? He's Italian.

[Monroe Martin]

He's Italian.

[Turner Sparks]

Columbus Day. There's. I'm not saying I. I'm saying any idea?

[Phil Duckett]

Something to be proud of. Let me tell you that, right?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

It is day you can be. Italians love it. They do, Yeah. I forgot. They don't care about that, but everybody else is like, that's.

[Turner Sparks]

It would be great to. So when people think I'm Jewish, I'm like, there's part of me that goes. That'd be kind of fun.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. It's probably not the ideal time to join right now worldwide, you know, with what's going on in the world.

[Phil Duckett]

Not the hottest topic, but either way.

[Turner Sparks]

It would be fun to do something.

[Phil Duckett]

Damn. Yeah, it's pretty crazy all together right now, so.

[Turner Sparks]

So you guys can tell that was.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I kind of have like inklings, but I don't ever like voice along. Probably Jewish. And then after he get up to the. Go to the bathroom when the bill come, I'm like, he definitely Jewish.

[Turner Sparks]

Once the stand up set starts and three seconds in, they mention they're Jewish.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, that's just like. Yeah, we get it.

[Turner Sparks]

Next question.

[Monroe Martin]

Are we going through these questions?

[Phil Duckett]

Well, you got somewhere to be?

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, I'm enjoying it though.

[Turner Sparks]

Going to Monday Night Raw.

[Monroe Martin]

Monday Night Raw on Netflix.

[Phil Duckett]

Is the Rock gonna show up, you think, or Stone Cold.

[Monroe Martin]

Raw? Probably not, but like WrestleMania is next month, so probably that would be.

[Turner Sparks]

Can you say who you're going with on air or not?

[Monroe Martin]

I'm going with Jay and a couple other people.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Michael Che, everybody.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, we're wrestling. There's like a whole community of comedian.

[Phil Duckett]

Wrestling, our big wrestling.

[Monroe Martin]

And we like really go and like hang out and have a good time. It's a great show. So you see a good mixture of like comedy. When you're watching wrestling, you can hear the writing. You can be like, oh, wait, they have writers. Absolutely. St. Germain is a writer, I believe. No, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

For WWE.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Comedians writing.

[Monroe Martin]

Absolutely. Yeah. Patrice O'Neill used to write for that. You gotta submit how I turn a.

[Phil Duckett]

Writing packet in for wwe.

[Monroe Martin]

I don't know, I've never tried.

[Turner Sparks]

Stanford, Connecticut. Yeah, it's their headquarters. Andrew Goldstein. Do you know Andrew?

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, man. He was right there for a very long time.

[Turner Sparks]

He wrote for him for a long time. That's how he gotta start. And then he wrote on. He writes on everything now.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah. Nah, it's really. I'm telling you, it's a really Good show. When you go to wrestling matches and you get you, it's instant gratification. When the music come out and I mean comes on, they walk out, the audience lets you know if they like them or hate them or don't give a. And you either need to be loved or hated.

[Turner Sparks]

The audience?

[Monroe Martin]

No, the audience that's genuine because the audience can be like, we don't with this. So we not saying nothing. We not booing you. We not even making no noise. We just watch. Walk to the ring and do your thing. Like you either want to get paws, applause or booed. Cuz those are. That's heat.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Monroe Martin]

Like if they're booing you, that means they're. They're reacting to what you're doing in your character.

[Phil Duckett]

Back when Triple H was how they used to boo him, I'm was like, so you can suck.

[Turner Sparks]

He's in charge now. He runs the whole thing.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, he's creative.

[Turner Sparks]

He married Vince McMahon's daughter. And now he's like the head of WWE.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, he lives in Connecticut.

[Monroe Martin]

Him and the Rock. The Rock is a part of the board of TKO Holdings. So it's like it's owned by the Saudis, but the Saudi Arabia. Yeah. That's why they keep going back and forth to like Saudi Arabia to do like the great American, not the greater, but the like the greatest Royal Rumble. Like every year they have like a couple of pay per views that are over there.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Monroe Martin]

And I think the Rock is like on the board to make sure that it's like still like has like an American influence on the business.

[Phil Duckett]

And let the women wear their hair out during the matches.

[Monroe Martin]

Oh no, they still gotta dress up. They still got.

[Phil Duckett]

They covering the WWE women.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, they make them wear like longer tights and stuff.

[Turner Sparks]

Really?

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

In Saudi Arabia.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

I'd be mad as hell.

[Monroe Martin]

Like, let's say Tiffany Stratton, she usually wears like, like her booty out a little bit over there. She'll have to wear like longer pants and stuff.

[Phil Duckett]

So I'm coming to see Tiffany and I ain't got no titty. Me. You in a hijab?

[Monroe Martin]

No titty? No, not a hijab.

[Turner Sparks]

They're in New York City though, right?

[Monroe Martin]

No, in New York they just how they want to. But in like Saudi Arabia and all those other like more like, what do you say? Conservative countries. Yeah, they got to be a little covered up. But not like a hijab type thing. But no, the thing. Because there's also Christians over there too.

[Phil Duckett]

They kill them. What do you Mean, I heard they stoned the Christians.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

That's what.

[Monroe Martin]

I don't think Middle Eastern is Muslim. Like Christianity.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Damn. Andrew Goldstein was telling me that when he worked at the wwe, he was a writer, you know, but you're in an office. You're in, like, a cubicle.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And he said that Vince McMahon, the owner of WWE, would hire retired wrestlers just to. Just to like, give him a job because they'd have to retire early to get hurt.

[Phil Duckett]

So.

[Turner Sparks]

Just to come work in the headquarters. So he's like, yeah. Like, you'd be walking down a cubicle and like, Hacksaw Jim Duggan would be on the phone being like, yeah, we need, like, more. 10 more paper orders. You know, just doing like, real.

[Phil Duckett]

How the mighty have fallen.

[Turner Sparks]

Like, the Million Dollar man would be at the water cooler. Like, you see the football game yesterday? Holy cow.

[Monroe Martin]

Eagles. Oh, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

I need Chipotle for the whole office.

[Monroe Martin]

In a couple of Slim Jims.

[Phil Duckett]

That's the voice you need to be doing.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah. I have no idea.

[Phil Duckett]

Every episode.

[Monroe Martin]

Who the hell would Russell in Bob sound like? I was like, who the. That's the worst. When you do an impression, everybody's like, huh.

[Turner Sparks]

A little extra guac.

[Monroe Martin]

Who's that? Christopher Walken.

[Turner Sparks]

That was my Macho man.

[Monroe Martin]

That's Macho Man. Randy Savage nose.

[Turner Sparks]

Come on, dude.

[Monroe Martin]

He was just.

[Phil Duckett]

You got it.

[Monroe Martin]

His was way better.

[Phil Duckett]

You got it. Yeah, yeah.

[Monroe Martin]

The cream of the cream of the crop. Cream on the side. Yeah. You're neglecting, like, the raspy like. Like you shitting. I love to you straining.

[Phil Duckett]

That's when the cocaine was pure.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Do you sit front row when you go to these things?

[Phil Duckett]

You do?

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, yeah. I've sat everywhere. I've sat front row. I've sat in, like, suites. I'm. You're good anywhere.

[Phil Duckett]

It's fun in the sweets.

[Monroe Martin]

It's fun in the sweets. It's better on the floor. Cause, like, you can, like, be around other people.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Monroe Martin]

You know what I mean? You can be around like a dad.

[Turner Sparks]

This is a real billionaire.

[Phil Duckett]

Who you think likes wrestling more, White people or black people?

[Monroe Martin]

Black people.

[Phil Duckett]

Really?

[Turner Sparks]

Really?

[Monroe Martin]

Absolutely. Come on now. I was going to say Flair because of his. Like. Black people loved Ric Flair.

[Turner Sparks]

How did Rick Flair.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, he's a Rolex wearing.

[Monroe Martin]

Exactly. I think that when the. When the character is really over is because he's transcending race. Like, you got to think of. People loved Ric Flair. They love Black people. Love Stone Cold.

[Phil Duckett]

Yes.

[Monroe Martin]

Black people love Triple H&DX. You know what I Mean, like, we can really.

[Phil Duckett]

The rock was our Rock was our Rudy Poo Candy.

[Monroe Martin]

And even back then, Dusty Rhodes.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Monroe Martin]

You know what I mean?

[Turner Sparks]

Dusty Rose the American dream.

[Phil Duckett]

The way he used to talk to.

[Monroe Martin]

Rick, he said, so I think you ain't over over until you got the black influence.

[Turner Sparks]

Who were the big. The biggest black wrestlers? Who am I for real?

[Monroe Martin]

Coco beware, Coco beware Junkyard dog.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, junkyard dog.

[Monroe Martin]

Did we take R.A. johnson?

[Phil Duckett]

Was Rashi considered black? Was he Samoan?

[Monroe Martin]

Yo, Samoan's kind of black.

[Phil Duckett]

Come on, dog. He was kind of a hot blocking and yeah, yeah, I gave him his card. I was like, he black as they.

[Monroe Martin]

Gonna say it anyway.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Monroe Martin]

There's Samoans that be dropping that hard y.

[Phil Duckett]

Because they were.

[Monroe Martin]

Hard. You like you Puerto Rican.

[Phil Duckett]

I seen one. I seen one episode. I forgot it was somebody's podcast. And God, I forgot. But Rakishi did his ass thing where he put his. But somebody said he had just taken a shit Kurt angle.

[Monroe Martin]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

And he said the nastiest smell. And I, like, almost vomited watching it. I said it was dookie and the.

[Monroe Martin]

G strings, that's the seed. So that's where it's like, even if it's fake, somebody's really sticking their ass in your face with real streaks in this real streaks.

[Phil Duckett]

And that's a big ass.

[Monroe Martin]

I hate that move.

[Phil Duckett]

I would have thrown that.

[Turner Sparks]

You don't like. You like a poo poo, but in your face.

[Monroe Martin]

Fucking just taking your ass.

[Phil Duckett]

Got to leave your groceries in front of 30,000.

[Monroe Martin]

That's not a good move.

[Turner Sparks]

You don't want to be. You don't want to be front row. You want to be in the box for that move.

[Phil Duckett]

Not.

[Monroe Martin]

I've never rooted for that move. I've never been like, oh, he did it. He put his ass in his face. Now I'm like, is there anybody around.

[Turner Sparks]

You is like, yes, dude.

[Monroe Martin]

I mean, for Rikishi to make that his go to move now, it's a move that's, like, done a lot in the wwe, people by like, yeah, but, like, the girls do it a lot more.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Monroe Martin]

Like, Rhea Ripley does it.

[Phil Duckett]

Give me the front.

[Monroe Martin]

If you don't do it right, Rhea Ripley does it. But there's dudes that do it, but they call it, like a hip thing where they'll just, like, run and, like, slam.

[Turner Sparks]

And to be clear, this you're talking about is you just rub your butt cheeks right here.

[Monroe Martin]

It's disgusting. I hate the spitting. Wait. And this is the butt shit.

[Turner Sparks]

That's Not a real.

[Phil Duckett]

No, you are. Your nose is really in that ass.

[Monroe Martin]

You know, Ain't no cgi.

[Phil Duckett]

Ain't no.

[Monroe Martin]

Ain't no. Goddamn. The dental dam in between your face.

[Phil Duckett]

To face with a sphincter.

[Turner Sparks]

When I was a kid.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

It ain't the same.

[Monroe Martin]

I don't with it. I don't. With the spit. Because there's, like, wrestlers that do, like, moves where they have, like, dye in their mouth, and then they spit it into the face of the rest. I'm like, you spit in my face.

[Phil Duckett]

It gets real now. Now it's real wrestling.

[Monroe Martin]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

Cause I'm gonna really you up.

[Monroe Martin]

Absolutely.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. No, there ain't no. We're done playing. Write that into the script. That's on you. You. You improvised.

[Turner Sparks]

Andrew Goldstein did not write out spitting.

[Phil Duckett]

That guy improvised spitting in my face. Now I got to improvise. Whooping your ass.

[Turner Sparks]

That's Jim Duggan's. Like, I don't see that anywhere.

[Monroe Martin]

Is they spitting ass cheeks?

[Phil Duckett]

What? Spit Nasty. This is sex.

[Joe Russell]

Now, what wrestlers do.

[Monroe Martin]

Black people.

[Joe Russell]

Not like. Like, how about Hulk?

[Monroe Martin]

He lost as he lost his.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Really?

[Phil Duckett]

The whole.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah. And they and Hawk think it's because he's Republican, and that's not true.

[Turner Sparks]

He's only recently Republic.

[Monroe Martin]

But Undertaker's Republican. Kane is Republican. Any of those Texas wrestlers are Republican?

[Turner Sparks]

Stone Cold probably Stone Cold.

[Phil Duckett]

Definitely our guy. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So then why not Hulk?

[Monroe Martin]

Because Hulk did the whole racist rant, remember? With the whole thing with his daughters.

[Turner Sparks]

I don't remember.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, Brooke.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah. Like a resident. He had, like, a rant. A racist rant. Okay, then I think it was just, like, some other. That had to do with wrestling where he didn't want. He was against them unionizing. Because a lot of wrestlers don't get taken care of after, like, if they're.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, well, of course he doesn't want to union. He's number one.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Monroe Martin]

If they're not the top guy, they're probably, like, uninsurable and all that. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

So alcoholics and. Yeah. I mean, we hear how Ric Flair was living. Yeah. If he wanted to. He was the top guy and still almost went broke, so.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, almost. He definitely was broke a bunch of times.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. That's true.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

So it's like.

[Turner Sparks]

Should we do one more. Yeah, one more question that we got to get you to. Raw. Raw.

[Monroe Martin]

Monday Night Raw. I don't know. I said it like that.

[Phil Duckett]

I like it.

[Turner Sparks]

Courtney in Palo Alto, California, she says, my boyfriend is black and refuses to go skydiving with me.

[Monroe Martin]

It's A trap.

[Turner Sparks]

He also claims that black people don't skydive in quotes. I'm so happy I found this show because I need to ask, is that true or is he just not as tough as he wants people to think?

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, watch your mouth.

[Monroe Martin]

Watch your goddamn mouth.

[Phil Duckett]

Drive the first of all, no, we. That is a black thing. Now, I know a couple brothers who have been skydiving. I'm gonna let Monroe take it after me.

[Monroe Martin]

But I've never done it.

[Phil Duckett]

I've never done it. My mama did it on her 50th birthday. She was like, next time you gotta go. I said, baby, yeah. I said, I'm black. There's enough ways for me to die on this street right here. I can just be on the corner and get my ass killed. So why the. Am I gonna go as high as Jesus to see if I can. If the parachute works, what are we doing, bro?

[Turner Sparks]

No, I agree.

[Phil Duckett]

Extreme sports are for white people.

[Turner Sparks]

I think so. Skydiving specifically. I don't understand it. I've never been in my life. I'm never gonna go in my life. I have no interest in just maybe dying.

[Phil Duckett]

Free falling.

[Turner Sparks]

Right.

[Phil Duckett]

And I'm terrified of heights. I am terrified. Like, actually terrified.

[Turner Sparks]

What do you think?

[Monroe Martin]

I'm not.

[Turner Sparks]

Would you.

[Monroe Martin]

I want to do it, but I gotta. I gotta go with a person that specialize in, like, shack size people.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, you mean like Big Nick? Yeah, I do six, five and above.

[Monroe Martin]

I need to see.

[Phil Duckett]

I'm gonna give you a five, two.

[Monroe Martin]

For real.

[Phil Duckett]

And you just pull him down faster.

[Turner Sparks]

How tall are you?

[Monroe Martin]

I'm six'five eighties. I need somebody. I need that gigantic parachute. I need that gigantic parachute. Like a parachute they need.

[Turner Sparks]

The parachute needs to be bigger. The bigger you are.

[Monroe Martin]

Absolutely.

[Phil Duckett]

I would be a little up because, you know, you're strapped to the front of the guy's chest.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

So imagine if Monroe, big ass, get up in there and they're like, this is our best guy. And he's five four. And he's like, yeah. I've never done it before, but it should be fine. Next thing you know, like, we're free falling faster than we've ever.

[Turner Sparks]

He's like a little Filipino. He's like, what do we do?

[Phil Duckett]

Pacquiao.

[Monroe Martin]

Absolutely.

[Phil Duckett]

That I need a specialized in big.

[Turner Sparks]

Like, this is the biggest parachute we have.

[Monroe Martin]

I need a big and tall skydiving.

[Turner Sparks]

You just want to be like. Like a. Like a. A blimp.

[Phil Duckett]

You might need to go skydiving with the Air Force or something. I don't know. If they gonna do that on a regular. Yo, that's crazy. I never thought of it like that. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So I had some buddies who were two bigger guys and they went skydiving and they said the whole flight up, the pilot, you know, the pilot takes you up and he was like, wow, this is crazy. It's never take. Taken this long to get to this altitude. And so he said. They said it took 30 minutes longer to get.

[Monroe Martin]

Because they're so heavy.

[Turner Sparks]

Because they were so heavy.

[Phil Duckett]

See, that doesn't make me feel good.

[Turner Sparks]

It was a tiny plane. You know, they're little planes. They put.

[Monroe Martin]

You tell me that.

[Phil Duckett]

Don't tell me no dumb.

[Monroe Martin]

Like that. Yeah, because you want like a big parachute. Because if you get the regular stuff, it just implodes.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, it's like a grocery bag.

[Monroe Martin]

Why are we going so fast?

[Turner Sparks]

You blast right through the strings. I do, but don't people. I was terrible at science class. But don't people fall at the same. Doesn't stuff fall at the same speed no matter how much it weighs?

[Phil Duckett]

Does it?

[Monroe Martin]

I think so.

[Turner Sparks]

I think it does.

[Phil Duckett]

Physics wasn't my thing.

[Turner Sparks]

Why we could.

[Phil Duckett]

That's a black. That's a. That might be a joke question.

[Monroe Martin]

No, you know, Joe.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, wait.

[Monroe Martin]

Definitely.

[Phil Duckett]

Because remember the Dropping the penny off the Empire State?

[Monroe Martin]

This bottle will definitely come down fast.

[Turner Sparks]

No, no, I think the same. Because I think I remember them doing it in science class. Don't.

[Phil Duckett]

I was. You're gonna drop the.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, don't drop the bottle.

[Phil Duckett]

It's just shatter it.

[Turner Sparks]

Don't. Don't like.

[Phil Duckett]

Yep.

[Monroe Martin]

Ready?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Same. This is like us drops.

[Phil Duckett]

We just bill n. He just dropped.

[Turner Sparks]

For our listeners, a pin. And our. Our bigger.

[Phil Duckett]

That's actually.

[Monroe Martin]

That was a dope times experiment right there. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

That was some Ms. Friz there inertia.

[Turner Sparks]

What's that? Everyone in sixth grade's like. Yeah, we knew that.

[Monroe Martin]

No, but the paper going far slower than the pen.

[Phil Duckett]

But that's because of the mass.

[Monroe Martin]

But that's what we're saying.

[Turner Sparks]

No, no, it's not because of the mess. It's because, like, the density. It's the surface area.

[Phil Duckett]

The surface area.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Monroe Martin]

Okay. Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

Wave doesn't. So we'll fall at the same speed. So you can. You could skydive.

[Monroe Martin]

I still need the bigger tall. I need them to call in somebody. Like, the biggest. Yeah, we'll Uber you here. Get here. We got a couple of them.

[Turner Sparks]

We talk parachute.

[Phil Duckett]

We'll give you two book bags. They got one on his chest, one on his.

[Monroe Martin]

I want Somebody, they wake him up, and he like, all right, I'll be there.

[Turner Sparks]

They strap three people to you.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, I need that. I need that. I'm not scared of heights. I'm just, like, terrified of heights.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm terrified of heights.

[Phil Duckett]

I only out one time shuts me down.

[Turner Sparks]

You what?

[Monroe Martin]

I only bitched out of something. Like, me and my lady, we went to Cabo and we went to, like, some sort of cenote, and they were, like, jumping off the joint. That was, like, 20ft. And I climbed all the way up there. But the way that it was positioned, like the rocks was, like, too close to the thing.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Monroe Martin]

And I was like, if I slip, I'm done. And I just crawled back down. I'm not doing this.

[Phil Duckett]

See, I can jump and do that because I don't think about. I'm like, don't be. No. Because everybody's looking up the crawl down. But, you know. Went to Dominican Republic with baby moms years ago, and she was like, I just. We gotta go parasail. I was like, it's not for me. She was like, phil, it's a rope. That messed me up so bad.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Because all I kept. I was like, if this string breaks, I am over the ocean for the rest of my life.

[Turner Sparks]

Dude.

[Phil Duckett]

I saw 300ft up, and I. And the thing is, they were playing with it so they'd slow down so you would, like, drop. I was like, stop with me. Like, I lost it. I lost my mind.

[Monroe Martin]

I don't even want that. Don't play with me. Even in the picture, she's doing a regular thing.

[Phil Duckett]

She's waving, and I'm just like, I'm so mad. Like, I am so mad. Like, I'm terrified. And then she touched us and. Stop touching me.

[Turner Sparks]

I saw a parasailing video one time where the wind took off. It did. Their string didn't even. The rope didn't break. But the wind took off, and they were too close to the land. And the. The dude in the parasail flew into the hotel on the beach and literally knocked into, like, the 15. Yeah.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, yeah. That's crazy.

[Phil Duckett]

You see what the I'm talking about? Yeah, that's that dumb.

[Monroe Martin]

And that's because they got a person that don't specialize in big people.

[Turner Sparks]

What do you do?

[Monroe Martin]

Because you would know if you was like, oh, all right. We too close. Let me. Let's go further out.

[Phil Duckett]

We need the extra big selling in Myrtle Beach.

[Turner Sparks]

Do you think that as we get it, we get enough. There's people who don't have like thrills in their life at all. You know what I mean? They just go to work, they go home. They go to work, they go home.

[Monroe Martin]

I don't get that. You need some sort of thrills. No one's getting out of here.

[Turner Sparks]

A lot of crowds every night. We get it somewhere else.

[Phil Duckett]

Right?

[Turner Sparks]

That might be it.

[Monroe Martin]

Everybody going. Everybody's dying.

[Turner Sparks]

All right. Speaking of going, you gotta go. We got one last segment.

[Monroe Martin]

One last segment. What's the question?

[Turner Sparks]

White lies and dark truths. This is where Joe Russell, he's been fact checking this whole time. Everything we say, he's going to tell us what we got.

[Phil Duckett]

Right?

[Turner Sparks]

What we got.

[Monroe Martin]

Okay.

[Joe Russell]

What's up, folks? You guys are talking about guitars. So Fender Guitars did a study and found out that 90 of new guitar players abandoned playing within one year.

[Monroe Martin]

That makes sense.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah. So that white guy with the guitar in his apartment, he's probably not even using it.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, not even using it.

[Joe Russell]

Another one. I looked this up to find out if someone's Jewish. The most respectful and accurate way is to ask them directly.

[Turner Sparks]

I think it is.

[Monroe Martin]

That's what Google said.

[Turner Sparks]

Are you Jewish or.

[Monroe Martin]

Just listen for like the. The flemminess.

[Turner Sparks]

I've never had a Jewish person.

[Phil Duckett]

I was going to say the complaints, but flemminess is funny.

[Joe Russell]

Slightly ill. Also, in 2023, 10 people died skydiving in the United States out of 3.65 million jumps.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, but they're all on my Instagram.

[Monroe Martin]

Wait, how many people?

[Phil Duckett]

10 out of 3.6. That's point. That's less than 0.01.

[Monroe Martin]

That's good. That's a good mark.

[Joe Russell]

It's the fatality rate.

[Monroe Martin]

I'll just be the lucky person.

[Phil Duckett]

Now straight down.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, it's 0.27per 100,000 jumps, which is the lowest ever recorded since it began in like 1961.

[Monroe Martin]

Oh, see, that's the thing. Maybe they not recording all the depths.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, what they don't tell you is all 10 of those, their parachutes are too small.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah, I'm telling you. Because there's like, look what they got, the regular parachute. Then they got that little parachute on top of the other John. So I just need this one to be bigger and this one to be the size of the normal parachute.

[Turner Sparks]

You both double the size.

[Monroe Martin]

Yes.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

And then the last thing, when you guys are dropping the objects. So yes, in a vacuum, two objects with different masses will fall at the same speed, but like a feather and a bowling ball. But they got to be in a vacuum, like with the paper. It's because of the wind resistance.

[Turner Sparks]

That's what I was trying to.

[Joe Russell]

That's why it goes slower.

[Turner Sparks]

But the pin and then the X, the buzzer.

[Phil Duckett]

We're not in a vacuum here.

[Joe Russell]

But, you know, like a feather, there's wind resistance. That's why a feather goes slowly.

[Phil Duckett]

Gotcha.

[Turner Sparks]

That's why the paper dropped.

[Phil Duckett]

But if it was in a vacuum, the feather and the pin would go the same.

[Monroe Martin]

Okay, that makes sense.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Monroe Martin]

Yeah. All right. All right.

[Joe Russell]

That's it, guys.

[Monroe Martin]

That was it.

[Turner Sparks]

That is the show. Monroe's gotta go get to WWE Raw. We will stick around, everybody. We will be right back for all you Patreon subscribers.

[Monroe Martin]

How you liking it?

[Turner Sparks]

So Patreon subscribers, stick around and we got more show. We got bonus questions. Phil and I are gonna get right to it. And Patreon subscribers, you get free tickets. You get a free ticket to our May 22nd show. How about that? Pretty cool. Everybody else, join the Patreon so you can get this bonus show. You can get the free ticket to May 22, but for now, stay black.

[Phil Duckett]

Stay black.

[Turner Sparks]

You've got a question but you're scared to ask? Just drop the boys a message?

[Monroe Martin]

Cause they're up to the task?

[Phil Duckett]

They're rolling the dice?

[Monroe Martin]

They ain't always nice? But you can't think twice when giving Black and white, black and white. At night, you don't wake up dreaming of McDonald's fries. You wake up dreaming of McDonald's hash browns.

[Turner Sparks]

McDonald's breakfast comes first. Ba da ba ba ba.

[E]

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