Why Do White People Love the Royal Family?

Summary

Black and White Advice: Episode Summary – "Why Do White People Love the Royal Family?"

Released on November 12, 2024

Hosts: Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett
Podcast: Black and White Advice
Description: Comedians Turner Sparks (white) and Phil Duckett (black) answer all your questions on race, even the scary ones. Have a question? Email us at [e-mail] and prepare to be educated.

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Introduction

In this episode titled "Why Do White People Love the Royal Family?", hosts Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett dive into a mix of humor and insightful discussions surrounding race, societal perceptions, and cultural phenomena. The episode features interactive segments, audience questions, and the introduction of new segments aimed at fostering dialogue across racial lines.

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Segment 1: Name the Criminal

Timestamp: [00:52] - [09:48]

The episode kicks off with a lively game called "Name the Criminal", introduced by guest Joe Russell. The premise involves presenting crime stories sourced from the New York Post, challenging Turner and Phil to determine the race and gender of the perpetrators based solely on the scant details provided.

Notable Interaction:

• Joe Russell: "Halloween mask wearing duo nabbed for stealing 8k in Magic the Gathering cards from a comic book store."
• Phil Duckett: Guesses "white male" but through humorous banter, they conclude it's actually two black males.
  [03:39] Phil Duckett: "I'll see you in Rikers."

The segment highlights the hosts' playful yet incisive examination of racial stereotypes and assumptions in criminal profiling.

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Segment 2: Main Discussion – Why White People Love the Royal Family

Timestamp: [11:27] - [19:18]

The core of the episode addresses the titular question submitted by Jordan in Chicago: "Why do white people love the royal family?"

Key Points Discussed:

1. Colonial Nostalgia:

   • Turner Sparks: "Simply fans of colonizing."
   • The hosts humorously critique the romanticization of colonial history, suggesting that white admiration for the royal family stems from a subconscious appreciation of colonial power dynamics.

2. Disney-like Aspirations:

   • Turner Sparks: "Women want to be princesses. This is the Disney culture of it all."
   • They draw parallels between the fairy-tale allure of royalty and Disney's influence on aspirations, particularly among white women.

3. Meghan Markle's Impact:

   • Phil Duckett: "All these white women who dreamed of being a princess one day see Meghan come in, strutting that little melanin she got, and they're like, this black bitch stole my dream."
   • The discussion delves into Meghan Markle's integration into the royal family and the racial tensions it may have sparked within its traditional fanbase.

4. Historical References:

   • Turner Sparks: "They slaughtered. Local people... built a couple houses... now it's like a boutique hotel."
   • The hosts critique the commercialization and cultural erasure resulting from colonialism, masked by the romantic narrative often propagated by admirers.

Humorous and Edgy Remarks:

• Phil Duckett: "They let them work in, but they could never afford to stay there."
• Turner Sparks: "They control this shit."

The conversation oscillates between sharp social commentary and irreverent humor, maintaining a balance that provokes thought while entertaining listeners.

---

Segment 3: Audience Questions

Timestamp: [19:21] - [37:14]

Following the main discussion, the hosts address additional questions from their audience, maintaining the show's interactive format.

1. Question from James in Florida: "I'm going to my first black wedding. What is a proper amount of money to spend on the gift?"

   • Phil Duckett: Advises adhering to wedding registries and personal financial comfort.
   • Turner Sparks: Suggests a range of "$50 to $100," emphasizing the importance of knowing the couple rather than adhering to strict amounts.

2. Question from Keith in Brooklyn: "I'm a white person who lives in Bed Stuy, Brooklyn, and I'm constantly aware that the locals view me as a gentrifier and that I don't belong. What can I do?"

   • Phil Duckett: Suggests "Go back to where you came from," initiating a candid conversation on gentrification.
   • Discussion Points:
     • Definition and Impact: Gentrification is dissected as both a potential revitalization and a form of cultural displacement.
     • Community Integration: Emphasis on contributing positively to the neighborhood while respecting its history and residents.
     • Cultural Preservation: The negative aspects of gentrification include erasing local culture and history, leading to tensions between long-term residents and newcomers.

3. Question from Jack in Buffalo: "Why do black people only smoke menthols?"

   • Phil Duckett: Attributes the preference to the "cool sensation" and richer flavor, albeit humorously admitting uncertainty.
   • Turner Sparks: Shares a personal anecdote about never having smoked, leading to a humorous back-and-forth about childhood experiences with smoking.

Notable Quotes:

• Phil Duckett: "Black people, we don't know the name of. We just... we call you."
• Turner Sparks: "It's like orange juice with pulp."

These interactions showcase the hosts' ability to blend humor with genuine inquiries, fostering an environment where sensitive topics are navigated with wit and insight.

---

Segment 4: Hate Mail

Timestamp: [30:24] - [33:04]

Introducing a new segment, "Hate Mail," Turner and Phil confront derogatory messages from listeners head-on, using humor to diffuse negativity and encourage open dialogue.

Featured Hate Mail:

• From Vinnie in Carlisle, England:
  "All you guys, all right? I'm not going to do the exit. Are you guys just an ugly version of Colin Jost and Michael Che?"
• Hosts' Response:
  Phil Duckett: "I never thought I'm gonna answer yes. Yeah... That's not hate mail."
  Turner Sparks: Engages with humor, acknowledging the insult while maintaining composure.

This segment underscores the podcast's commitment to addressing and dismantling racist attitudes through candid conversation and comedic relief.

---

Promotions and Closing

Timestamp: [33:14] - [37:52]

The episode concludes with promotions and announcements:

1. Phil Duckett’s Comedy Special – "Gentrification":

   • Release Date: October 25
   • Details: Available on all major platforms like YouTube, Sirius XM, iTunes, and Spotify.
   • Humorous Note:
     Turner Sparks: "You do, they named it after my middle name, Gentry."

2. Patreon Subscription:

   • Encourages listeners to subscribe for bonus content and early access to episodes.
   • Phil Duckett: Teases exclusive content and personal interactions for subscribers.

3. Final Remarks:

   • Phil Duckett: "Stay black, America."
   • Turner Sparks: Reiterates the show's mission to answer questions and promote understanding across racial lines.

---

Conclusion

In "Why Do White People Love the Royal Family?", Turner Sparks and Phil Duckett adeptly navigate through humor, personal anecdotes, and sharp social commentary to explore complex racial dynamics and cultural fascinations. The episode not only entertains but also educates listeners, encouraging thoughtful reflection on topics such as gentrification, cultural appropriation, and racial stereotypes. Through interactive segments and candid discussions, the hosts reinforce the podcast’s mission to bridge understanding between black and white communities.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Phil Duckett [03:39]: "I'll see you in Rikers."
• Turner Sparks [11:51]: "Loved colonization."
• Phil Duckett [17:00]: "Black people. You think we give a damn about what rich white folks are doing with their marriages?"
• Turner Sparks [21:15]: "What's up, everybody?"
• Turner Sparks [31:22]: "Send it to your kids school."
• Phil Duckett [35:09]: "Just laying up inside a Tarzan looking woman."

These quotes encapsulate the show's blend of humor and critical insights, reflecting the hosts' unique perspectives on race and society.

Transcript

[Turner Sparks]

I'm a white person who lives in Bed Stuy, Brooklyn. And I'm constantly aware that the locals view me as a gentrifier and that I don't belong. What can I do? I guess to fit in?

[Phil Duckett]

Go back to where you came from. What could I do? Have you ever had a question you wanted to ask opposite race but you were too nervous to ask?

[Turner Sparks]

I'm Turner Sparks.

[Phil Duckett]

And I'm Phil Duckett.

[Turner Sparks]

And this is Black and White Advice.

[Phil Duckett]

Where we answer all your questions about race, even the scary ones.

[Turner Sparks]

This is black and white Advice.

[Phil Duckett]

You've got a question but you're scared to ask.

[Turner Sparks]

Just drop the boys a message. Cause they're up to the test.

[Phil Duckett]

They're all in the dice.

[Turner Sparks]

They ain't always nice but you can't think twice. Black and White Advice. What's up, everybody? I'm Turner Sparks.

[Phil Duckett]

And I'm Phil Duckett.

[Turner Sparks]

Welcome back to the show. We got a lot coming up for you today. We have your black and white advice questions. We got White lies and dark truths coming up later with Joe Russell. But before all that, right now we have a brand new game called Name the Criminal.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, and I'm, I'm pretty good at this, guys. I'm not gonna lie to y'all.

[Joe Russell]

I made sure I found some like, kind of confusing ones, guys. So I was wondering if they were.

[Phil Duckett]

Going to be black and white or were you going to really challenge us?

[Joe Russell]

I'm going to challenge you.

[Turner Sparks]

So the idea being Joe went and found a bunch of criminal story, crime stories, and then all from the New.

[Joe Russell]

York Post, by the way, all from.

[Turner Sparks]

The New York Post, the paper of record. And then we need to. We're going to have to decide if it's. Could it be any race or is this just a black. We have to decide the race.

[Joe Russell]

So we will do different races in the future, but the first time out the gate, it's going to be black and white. And then I also want you to guess for bonus points if it's a male or female.

[Phil Duckett]

Okay?

[Turner Sparks]

Okay, sounds good.

[Joe Russell]

Halloween mask wearing duo nabbed for stealing 8k in magic the Gathering cards from a comic book store.

[Phil Duckett]

White male.

[Turner Sparks]

Is nerd a race?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, white male, 100%. Lives in his mom's basement.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, but it's a duo.

[Phil Duckett]

There's two white males.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, okay. Yeah, I thought it was like a lovers magic.

[Phil Duckett]

Lovers kind of hang together. It's, you know, I mean, like this a tight knit group. Ask Joe.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, that's. It is called Magic the Gathering. So it's More than one person.

[Phil Duckett]

What is that, like Dungeons and Dragons or some shit?

[Turner Sparks]

I think it's for. Yeah, but if you're, like, an extra nerd. Did you have magic kids at your high school? Magic the Gathering kids?

[Phil Duckett]

I'm sure we did, but bullying wasn't outlawed yet, so we killed them. Oh, we murdered them.

[Turner Sparks]

Was that South Carolina going to school? Yeah, South Carolina high school, man.

[Phil Duckett]

We don't like a lot of bullshit, pretty cookie cutout people.

[Turner Sparks]

They would always be around a corner, no matter where you were. If you came around a corner, you'd run into, like, eight kids playing Magic.

[Phil Duckett]

The Gathering, black trenches.

[Turner Sparks]

And they. Black trench coats, like, loading their gun.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, for sure. And you knew where they were going to be at every day, ready to.

[Turner Sparks]

Shoot up a school.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And rarely they was. It was all dudes. It was never. There was never, like, females in the bunch, at least. Well, no, now that I think about it, I wouldn't.

[Phil Duckett]

There was always. There was always a couple weird chicks that hung out with.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, there were a couple weirdos.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Always a couple of weird chicks that I would hang out with. Them. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

All right. What do you think, Phil?

[Phil Duckett]

I said two white males.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, two white males. I think this is Joe trying to throw us off. And this is going to be the rare. This is going to be the black nerds. So I'm going to go black. Black nerd. Oh, and also, we just know it's 2p. Oh, yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

The duo.

[Turner Sparks]

The duo. I'll go to black males.

[Joe Russell]

Phil, you're correct.

[Phil Duckett]

Thank you. Yep. Trying to trick you. Trying to trick you.

[Turner Sparks]

I didn't know we were starting easy.

[Phil Duckett]

This is right there in front of you.

[Joe Russell]

It was like the 100 question from millionaires.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay. Okay.

[Phil Duckett]

That's what he wants me to pick.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, I would. I would have guessed wrong.

[Joe Russell]

All right, number two. A hungry prowler was arrested after breaking into Wisconsin home to cook shrimp and pasta dinner.

[Turner Sparks]

Shrimp and pasta. Do I guess first on this one?

[Joe Russell]

Sure.

[Turner Sparks]

Shrimp and pasta to me sounds very, like, white, because it's kind of the thing your mom would always cook when there just wasn't much. Like. All right, what do we got in the fridge? Yeah, and there's, like, shrimp from two weeks ago. And then, you know, if she cooks it long enough, at some point it'll turn pink. And then. And it's grayish pink when you're eating it. And then pasta is just like. There's always pasta somewhere around.

[Phil Duckett]

They said. They said shrimp and pasta is what he made. They didn't Say shrimp linguini. So he's not white.

[Turner Sparks]

Shrimp and pasta.

[Phil Duckett]

Wait, but this is the guy who broke.

[Turner Sparks]

The criminal broke into the house and.

[Phil Duckett]

Then made a dish.

[Joe Russell]

Yeah. A hungry prowler arrested after breaking into a house.

[Turner Sparks]

I think it's gonna be white people because, like, it's. It harkens. It's a childhood thing.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

If you look around a house, if you. If they got shrimp, they got pasta. You go, yeah, I could figure something out.

[Phil Duckett]

I think you're about to be over 2. I'm going black male.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm gonna go white male.

[Joe Russell]

So it is a white person, but is a white woman that did it a white woman with dreadlocks?

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, that's basically always.

[Phil Duckett]

That's basically what? Black.

[Turner Sparks]

That's basically a black person.

[Phil Duckett]

No, I'm like, basically what? Hell, no.

[Turner Sparks]

I have a question for Phil. Is there anyone more despised by the black community than white people with dreadlocks?

[Phil Duckett]

I hate. I hate white dreads. I hate white. You know, because I don't think people realize why, like, black hair is naturally, like, crinkly, like, coarser. It locks very quickly. Like, you don't brush and you just leave it with the. Well, it's going a lot for white people to lock their hair. Do you know how nasty you got to be? Like, you know how much dirt and soot and oily it has to get for it to even get to that type of texture? Because yalls hair is too fine.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. You got to put it in.

[Phil Duckett]

You have to. And then you have to, like, not bathe because, you know, y'all get your hair wet. They would come out. So they're not bathing for not only.

[Turner Sparks]

Not bathing, they're adding peanut butter and to the hair.

[Phil Duckett]

I don't think they use peanut butter.

[Turner Sparks]

You don't think it's peanut butter?

[Phil Duckett]

It's beeswax. What most people use.

[Turner Sparks]

Is that what it is?

[Phil Duckett]

It's beeswax. But I'm like, peanut butter.

[Turner Sparks]

Something gross.

[Phil Duckett]

That's going to be on the white lies. Peanut butter.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm pretty sure it's peanut butter. How do you know this? Have you. Because you are. You address back in 2006. Look at that.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So that's pretty good. Did they. How did they smell?

[Phil Duckett]

Mine smell fine. But I mean. I mean, any. All of them. If you. If you wash a regular. If you see those big ones that look all messy and the two dreads in there, those a lot of times stinking stuff. Because they're not washing.

[Turner Sparks]

Here's a question. What about because you Know Adam Diritz? He's the lead singer of counting crows.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, Mr. Jones and me.

[Turner Sparks]

Mr. Jones and me.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

He's Jewish.

[Phil Duckett]

I met him.

[Turner Sparks]

I thought he was black, for I did Forever.

[Phil Duckett]

I thought he was, too.

[Turner Sparks]

No, no. He's like a white, but a Jewish guy. But he has threads. You met him.

[Phil Duckett]

He was at the show. At the Pair, like, two years ago.

[Turner Sparks]

No, he was not at the Pair.

[Phil Duckett]

I love.

[Turner Sparks]

I went to see him. I've seen him in New York.

[Phil Duckett]

I was wild. Cause they were like. I was like, Mr. Jones. That's what I said to him. I said, Mr. Jones.

[Turner Sparks]

So does my. Here's my. That's funny. You see, Mr. Jones.

[Phil Duckett]

White black people we don't know the name of. We just. We call you. What you were in the movie.

[Turner Sparks]

You call him Mr. Jones.

[Phil Duckett]

Mr. Jones, man. What's up, buddy? That's how we do it.

[Turner Sparks]

But he had a. So essentially, does the Jew fro. Cause that's like.

[Phil Duckett]

That's. That's their. That's their.

[Turner Sparks]

I think you could get. That's what I'm saying. I mean, the pro.

[Phil Duckett]

The pro is the natural look you have to do to get dread.

[Turner Sparks]

To dread out the Jew from.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, white hair just ain't naturally dreading.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, so they don't get a pass. The Jews. Fuck.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, They've maybe. I don't know. I don't want to get canceled. We still need to make it. You know, they control this shit.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. I like how you say, I don't want to get canceled, and then you say, Jews control the media.

[Phil Duckett]

Listen, man, all I'm saying is this is on this type of shit, and I. Because I don't. And I think Kanye is unhinged, and I think he said some wild shit. But for him to say Jews are in the media, and then they blacklist him from being in the media. He lit. They. They proved his literal point. Which kind of crazy.

[Turner Sparks]

It's not the best way to. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

So now we take everything from you. So what he said was accurate.

[Turner Sparks]

He also said that. He said, like, Jewish doctors.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. He said. That's what I'm saying.

[Turner Sparks]

Trying to kill you.

[Phil Duckett]

You know what I mean?

[Turner Sparks]

Like, Hitler was good, right?

[Phil Duckett]

I didn't agree with none of that. One thing that he did. And then they went by showing him that we do run out.

[Turner Sparks]

More than one thing. You're picking out. Okay. One of the one thing.

[Phil Duckett]

One of the one. That was the only thing that he said. I was like, that's not that crazy.

[Turner Sparks]

And then it happened.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I was like, this kind of seems accurate then, right?

[Turner Sparks]

Listen, if you got the hammer, use it. Next. Okay, go ahead.

[Joe Russell]

Okay, last one. In America, there's a sitting mayor who's just been charged with illegally accepting over $100,000 from a foreign government. Is he white or black?

[Turner Sparks]

Nah.

[Phil Duckett]

I'll see you in Rikers. Eric Adams.

[Turner Sparks]

Listen, Turkish money spends just like anyone else's.

[Phil Duckett]

I called him being dirty from the time he got.

[Turner Sparks]

Everyone did. Everyone knew he was a criminal when he got elected.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I was. I. Something didn't seem right. I was like, he don't seem stand up.

[Turner Sparks]

He's also out every single night partying.

[Phil Duckett]

And every time there's a photo op, he's like, yeah, I've noticed that he's.

[Turner Sparks]

Been on like a two. I think he's been in there for two years. He's been on this two year victory tour. Like, he thought once he won, that was the end of his job.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, that's.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, his job was to win, and now he's just celebrating out.

[Phil Duckett]

He's like.

[Turner Sparks]

It's like a Disneyland parade when we win the super bowl, but for two years long.

[Phil Duckett]

Meanwhile, the subway's $2.90 and it's getting later by the minute. So I don't know what are we doing?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

So is he white or black?

[Turner Sparks]

Shout out to Eric Adams. He's still our mayor, by the way. Biden's still our president and Eric Adams is still our.

[Phil Duckett]

America is in shambles.

[Turner Sparks]

How about that?

[Phil Duckett]

America's in sh.

[Turner Sparks]

About that.

[Phil Duckett]

Period.

[Turner Sparks]

All right. All right.

[Joe Russell]

Good job, guys.

[Turner Sparks]

Thank you, Joe Russell. We will be right back with your black and white advice questions.

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[Turner Sparks]

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[Phil Duckett]

Well then subscribe to our [e-mail] blackandwhiteadvice and subscribe right now.

[Turner Sparks]

Do it and we'll give you a shout out on a future episode and.

[Phil Duckett]

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[Turner Sparks]

All right, we're back. First question, woo comes to us from Jordan in Chicago. Jordan wants to know why. What, excuse me, what is white people's obsession with the royal family?

[Phil Duckett]

Great question, great question. I have always had that question. I wish I knew why.

[Turner Sparks]

I've had the answer to this for a very long time.

[Phil Duckett]

Let you take it.

[Turner Sparks]

So my fan, my mom, first of all, when you say white people, I, and I think I'm fair. It's white women. I don't know white men who sit down to watch the royal wedding like it's Super Bowl. But I don't know white women who don't do that.

[Phil Duckett]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

Every white woman I know in my life, my mother, that's probably the only white woman I know. My wife's Chinese.

[Phil Duckett]

Yes.

[Turner Sparks]

But anyway, they love, they love the royal family. They love the royal wedding. They love England specifically. But any type of royalty. Here's why. First of all, loved colonization. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

That's what it is.

[Turner Sparks]

Simply fans of colonizing. And you know, because when people go, everyone when they're like 19, they want to go to Europe and live in like a colonial town and that they always talk about colonial, like went on vacation. Oh, it was like we were in Thailand. But it was formerly a French colony. So all the architecture was French.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And that's presented as a positive. Not like they slaughtered.

[Phil Duckett]

They ruined the whole culture.

[Turner Sparks]

Local people.

[Phil Duckett]

Right.

[Turner Sparks]

And then built a couple houses and. But now it's like a boutique hotel that you can pay like a thousand.

[Phil Duckett]

That they let them work in, but they could never afford to stay there.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah. So we love colonizing. That's big with our people. And then secondly, women want to be princesses. This is the Disney culture of it all.

[Phil Duckett]

Got you this Is real life. Adult Disney adult.

[Turner Sparks]

Becoming a princess is the white female version of a man wanting to. If you win the super bowl, if you're. I made it to the NFL. Not only did I make the NFL, I'm now winning the Super Bowl. I'm the best player. I can have this ring for the rest of my life. That's who Meghan Markle is, a hero.

[Phil Duckett]

I was about to say no. That's why y'all gave Megan such a hard time. All these white women who dreamed of being a princess one day see Meghan come in, strutting that little melanin she got, and they're like, this black bitch stole my dream.

[Turner Sparks]

Well. Well, I don't. I. Every single white woman I know, this is where it comes into different kinds of white people.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

They obsessively love Meghan Markle.

[Phil Duckett]

I thought Megan Marco was dope. I loved her in suits. She was fine as hell. So, you know, I mean, I didn't really. But I didn't like how they did her and then made. You know, made them leave the family and shit. It's because they didn't want no chocolate in that damn royal bloodline.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, of course. The royal family.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. They're all inbred. Look at the new dude. What's his name? Charles.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, of course. Those buck teeth.

[Phil Duckett]

Buddy, let me tell you, there is inbreeding 101.

[Turner Sparks]

I do think it was a little naive on Meghan Markle's to think that.

[Phil Duckett]

Her black ass would be accepted.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

And then her mama came out looking like Whoopi Goldberg. Just a beautiful black woman. But I was like, you thought they was going to let this black lady make collard greens in Buckingham Palace?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, it was. It was never going to. And then when she came back and she did the Oprah interview, and she's like, oprah, you're never going to believe it, but the royal family is a racist. And it's like. And then Oprah acted like she was shocked. She was like, what are you. Are you telling me the truth? It's like, oprah, you're smart. You're one of the. I thought we had just all accepted a long time ago that the. Of course, the royal family of England, the one who colonized the world.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Doesn't like non whites. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

What did you. Have you read a history book?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, but that's why it was just kind of.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

It was a whole situation.

[Turner Sparks]

Anyway, so that's why people love also. Have you ever heard of this? Still, I think, put it in Perspective. You ever heard of Queen Noor of Jordan?

[Phil Duckett]

Why does that. Game of Thrones.

[Turner Sparks]

No, this is a real life person.

[Phil Duckett]

Got it. Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

So to a white American lady who, in growing up in my family, in. In a white mother in California in the 80s and 90s, we learned all about Queen Nor. She was like, this something to aspire to because she was a white lady who. The king of Jordan was business partners with her dad in America for something. And then his wife died or he got divorced or something. And then he married his business partner's daughter who was like, 30 years younger than him.

[Phil Duckett]

Was this in, like, 1800s?

[Turner Sparks]

No, this was in, like, 1996.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, wow.

[Turner Sparks]

And then all of a sudden, she became the princess of Jordan because she. And maybe even Queen of Jordan. Queen. Queen. Speaking of the Queen of Jordan. And did some charity work so then that she's like a hero to white women because it's like, oh, my God, we could all become a queen.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, we could all be. This could just marry the right guy. Sure.

[Turner Sparks]

Jordan. What do we care? We get. We never heard of the country, but y. In. I will do that.

[Phil Duckett]

That's pretty sick, though.

[Turner Sparks]

It is a pretty baller move. And so now their kid. Her kids are like, actually, this. Her kids are, like, in their 30s, maybe now, early 40s. And they're all the princes of Jordan, but they're, like, basically American, you know, And I've heard stories that they. Russell Peters will perform for them privately when he goes over there to do tours. He'll also do private shows at, like, the princess. He's, like, best friends with the princes. Now, that's pretty. I mean, best friends, they'll, like.

[Phil Duckett]

They'll throw them some call, just do a private show. Yeah, it's just me, Beyonce, Jay Z, just doing a little show for them. They want to hear the new stuff.

[Turner Sparks]

Come to the palace. Yeah, like, come to the castle.

[Phil Duckett]

That's gotta be sick. Okay. I didn't know. I've never heard of this Queen Nora.

[Turner Sparks]

So that's it. The white people, we grow up idolizing.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Okay.

[Turner Sparks]

This is the height.

[Phil Duckett]

We have NBA players, and y'all have.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, you got Kobe, we got Queen Nora.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I'll take the king.

[Turner Sparks]

And we got Vladimir, Vladi. Z. God. So anyway, why we love her. I think I answered, why you did.

[Phil Duckett]

I literally didn't have any really, input on this, because I was listening to the answer. Because as soon as you read the question, I was like, I've always growing up.

[Turner Sparks]

Did your family ever watch the royal wedding any of the royal weddings as a family.

[Phil Duckett]

Black people. You think we give a damn about what rich white folks is doing with their marriages? We got bills to pay over here. I ain't got time to worry about the Right.

[Turner Sparks]

What about what.

[Phil Duckett]

Where were you when Princess Diana got killed?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. Well, was that a big deal?

[Phil Duckett]

It was a big deal for the world. I was eight years old. I. I didn't know what happened. Now that I'm older, you know, I've, like, read up on it, because I was always wondering, because I remember being very big deal, and I was like, why is it? She got in a car accident, which was sad, but I. And then my mom's like, well, she was the royal. She was supposed to be the queen. And so I was like, oh. So I remember. And then as I got older, I was like, oh, they killed Diana.

[Turner Sparks]

They killed her. They killed because she left her. Because she got divorced and she was dating, like, a Middle Eastern.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Like an Egyptian prince or something.

[Phil Duckett]

Got her ass up out of there.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, you think?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And then again, Meghan Markle's like, wait a second. They're not treating me well.

[Phil Duckett]

Can you kill their own.

[Turner Sparks]

Megan killed the last lady.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Yeah. And that's what I wonder if this kid. If the sons know. I wonder if that's why William so, like, easily able to step away from the family. Like, man, y'all up.

[Turner Sparks]

Why he took her to America.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Because I think.

[Turner Sparks]

You think he knows his mom. They killed his mom.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. That's wild.

[Turner Sparks]

Wild.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, I didn't know she was divorced. She had divorced.

[Turner Sparks]

She had already gotten divorced, which is highly not allowed.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

So she gets divorced, and then. Not only that, but then starts dating an Egyptian guy. And they're like, okay, okay.

[Phil Duckett]

That's African. She was dating a black man.

[Turner Sparks]

She was dating a North African out of here. Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

And that's why he got with Megan, out of spite. He's like, I'm getting me a sister, too.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

See if they'll kill me.

[Turner Sparks]

Well, they were probably going, if he.

[Phil Duckett]

Didn'T get out of there, he would have had a slip and fall in the palace.

[Turner Sparks]

Turns out she's right. Spotify, she got a bunch of money and did nothing for them, of course. And Netflix, I believe, for she had suits already. She turns out the princess is doing fine.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. News to us. The princess ain't hurting.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, next question. Good one, Jordan. I like the question, by the way. Name, Jordan. That's ironic. James. In Florida, I'm going to my first black wedding. What is a Proper amount of money to spend on the gift.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, I don't. I mean, don't cheap out on them, but it. They normally have a registry. Buddy, why don't you just get something off the list? What, are you just gonna freestyle it? I mean, we're gonna freestyle and get him a car, get him a card in. But they normally have a wedding registry, and then you can find something within your.

[Turner Sparks]

What do you normally spend on a gift?

[Phil Duckett]

What I can afford. I'm not going broke trying to impress nobody.

[Turner Sparks]

I think I'm at this point, I'm like 50 to 100 bucks. 100 bucks? Depends on how well I know.

[Phil Duckett]

And that's the end. Yeah, but like, 50 to 100 bucks, and I'm not afraid of getting the cheapest thing on your list. You still need it, you know?

[Joe Russell]

Why would a black wedding gift be different than a white wedding gift? Amount of money?

[Phil Duckett]

I don't know.

[Turner Sparks]

I don't know.

[Phil Duckett]

That's what I was kind of curious about, but that's why I was like, the whole situation seems fucked up. He's like, oh, well, the white wedding, they get 400. The Black Wedding, we got Amazon gift cards. Like, why can't we get the money? But no, I think it just depends on what type of person you are.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Phil Duckett]

And what your financial situation is, you know?

[Turner Sparks]

But that just sounds exactly like any wedding.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. I've never, like, tried to break the. Break the bank for a wedding gift.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. The people who put those, like, 500 things on the registry, that's just for, like, grandma, right?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Somebody close relatives about to die, and they're like, you're going to be getting this money anyway, Right, In a couple years. So let me just get real close.

[Phil Duckett]

That's what saying. Nobody.

[Turner Sparks]

500 bucks now. Next question.

[Phil Duckett]

Absolutely.

[Turner Sparks]

Keith in Brooklyn. Oh, this is a good one. I'm a white person who lives in Bed Stuy, Brooklyn, and I'm constantly aware that the locals view me as a gentrifier and that I don't belong. What do. What can I do? I guess to fit in.

[Phil Duckett]

Go back to where you came from. What could I do? Seems pretty simple.

[Turner Sparks]

I will say Bed Stuy's only. I don't want to give out exactly where I live and where we are right now. But it's only a few neighborhoods away, right?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. And. But the thing is, I don't feel.

[Turner Sparks]

Like I don't belong here. But this is a different.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, no, this whole building, you know, this is a different this is a different area of town. Yeah, I mean that. I'm not sure if it was ever. I'm sure at one point it was a crack neighborhood, but probably not. Not. But Bed Stuy was a real black, like, strong black neighborhood back in the day.

[Turner Sparks]

Bedside do or die, if I remember correctly.

[Phil Duckett]

Exactly. So now, yeah, the people that grew up there, it looks nothing like how they remember. So they're going to keep staring at you like that. You just got to prove to them that you're a nice guy and you know, you're in the neighborhood. Like I'm be honest, most time black people, we don't just bother people to bother them. You know what I mean? Like when this is the difference, I'm be honest. This is how I feel. White people wake up mad at the world and just start waking up and start shooting. That's what y'all do. Black people, when you get killed, it's out of money, drugs, or respect. That's normally the three things that get you. Other than that, we just, we don't. We got too much going on to just be walking up on white people like, you know, again, money, drugs, respect, you know.

[Turner Sparks]

What do you mean by respect?

[Phil Duckett]

Disrespect. Like you.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, disrespect.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Okay.

[Phil Duckett]

Lack of respect there. Yeah, that's what. That'll get you hurt, you know? You know, I mean, but you mean if you see like we don't go into post offices just gunning down co workers and go. You know what I mean? Like, that is so I think that's what I'm saying. You don't have anything to worry about. They might look at you because they're like, look, another one. But it is what it is. You knew you were a gentrifier when you signed the lease.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, exactly.

[Phil Duckett]

So don't feel weird now.

[Turner Sparks]

And is it.

[Phil Duckett]

That.

[Turner Sparks]

Is gentrifying wrong.

[Phil Duckett]

So this is a, like a, I guess like double sided quote because. Yes and no. You know what I mean here. Gentrification would not be wrong if they gentrified a neighborhood and then it was still affordable enough for the people who were from that neighborhood to still live in that neighborhood.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

The reason gentrification sucks is the neighborhood. Nobody gives a fuck about these black neighborhoods the whole time they're black. Soon as enough white people move in and they start changing shit and making it nice. Now y'all want to take all the culture, all the history and call it your own, Change the name. And then the people that made it what it is can't Even be in this vicinity without the cops bothering or what. They can't. You know what I mean? Like, it's like, that's what makes gentrification so messed up if you did it. So you were just renovating a neighborhood. Yeah, yeah, that'd be great. I mean, you. These. A lot of these neighborhoods need to be gentrified. That's what. Like, they need new businesses. They need.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, they need. Like, everyone jokes about the cupcake shop. That's like an old bit. But you do need something. Somebody to rent the spaces on the street corner. It's not empty.

[Phil Duckett]

So. That's what I'm saying. It's a weird thing, because. Yeah, no, I don't mind. Because, I mean, I live in a gentrified neighborhood, but I'm giving back to my community. That's why I always. I'm the one brother in that area.

[Turner Sparks]

You're giving back by staying.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, yeah. There's still some relics of home.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

You know?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

But. Yeah, that. I don't know, man. Yeah, it's one of those things. For me to.

[Turner Sparks]

My favorite thing about living in a. I would say this is like a mixed neighborhood. Where I live right now is like, all the old black grandmas there. It's. It's a type of person I never would have run into before.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. Grandma.

[Turner Sparks]

I mean, I lived in China for 12 years before that. I grew up in, like, a white suburb.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And they're the most hilarious people.

[Phil Duckett]

Black grandmas are the absolute best.

[Turner Sparks]

And fun and. Well, like, funny, too funny and. Well, there's people that we know in our neighborhood now who, every time you see them, they'll just fill you in on talking shit about everybody.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. And it's the best when they start giving you the tea. Oh, run down everything. Well, you know she's cheating on her.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. It's all that kind of stuff. And it's like. It's all about not only the other grandma on the other side of the street, but her kids.

[Phil Duckett]

Oh, kids ain't shit. Mom was. No, she knows she strung out on drugs, bless her. Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

And it's all nicknames because you talk with. I'm like, do you know that lady you talking about? Crazy Kathy?

[Phil Duckett]

Crazy.

[Turner Sparks]

Who doesn't know? Of course I know.

[Phil Duckett]

Crazy Ben had a nickname for it. Yeah. That is Top. And the thing is, they just want conversation because they're normally lonely, too, so it gives them a chance.

[Turner Sparks]

It's the best.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. I do enjoy.

[Turner Sparks]

And being a comedian, I'm home all day, so, like, I'm the one on the street who can mix it up. Everybody else is, like, at work. Their kids are at work. All the other neighbors are in some office somewhere. I'm just hanging out in the courtyard, being like, yeah, let's hang out shucking.

[Phil Duckett]

Peas with an old black lady.

[Turner Sparks]

They're all my new best friends now.

[Phil Duckett]

I like that.

[Turner Sparks]

There's a lady down there on our floor who. The other day, she was like, this is like six months ago. She goes, hey, Turner, there's an election tomorrow, and I'm running a local election. I'm like, all right, cool. She's like, you gotta vote for me. I'm like, done. I'll vote for you. And then I sat there on this. On the. In the courtyard with her. Every single person who walked by, she just stops him. She goes, hey, this is my name. I'm running. There's an election. No one even knew there was an election. It was local only. She goes, there's an election tomorrow. Vote for me. There's an election tomorrow.

[Phil Duckett]

Vote for you.

[Turner Sparks]

She said about 10, 15 times in the 10 minutes we were there, and every single person was like, yeah, okay, why not? I didn't know. No one asked. What's her politics?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

What are we running for? It's just like, yeah, we'll vote. And then, guess what? I voted for her. I see her two weeks later, I'm like, how'd you do in the election? She goes, I won. Now she's like, our comptroller or something.

[Phil Duckett]

Really?

[Turner Sparks]

I don't know what it is.

[Phil Duckett]

So you're in Now I'm in.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, yeah. So now I have a. I have a. What do I have? A link to power so I can start really grinding.

[Phil Duckett]

Eric Adams got started. That's awesome.

[Turner Sparks]

I'm gonna make Grandma the new Eric Adams.

[Phil Duckett]

That'd be sick. She'd love it, too.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, last one. Let's see another question. I don't know if this is the last one or not. This comes from Jack and Buffalo.

[Phil Duckett]

He says, the whole setup of that question was outrageous.

[Turner Sparks]

What do you mean?

[Phil Duckett]

I thought it was going to be some nasty. You said this comes from Jack. Involves, like. What are you about to say? What is really about to happen right now?

[Turner Sparks]

I was trying to find where it was on my computer.

[Phil Duckett]

Jack. I was like, off.

[Turner Sparks]

Jack in Buffalo wants to know, why do black people only smoke menthols?

[Phil Duckett]

Have you ever hit a menthol? It's a very cool sensation in your mouth. Pause. And we cool people, so we gonna do the coolest shit you can do. We're gonna take the coolest version of it. Like, you know, Newports is just. I'm just making shit up. And be honest with you, I have no idea why we love menthols, but I love a good menthol. If I'm gonna have one, I'm probably gonna take a menthol over a regular. I mean, I do like, but I don't like smoking cigs. But if I'm drunk and they somebody gives me a cigarette. Yeah, I'd prefer it.

[Turner Sparks]

I've never smoked a cigarette of any kind in my life.

[Phil Duckett]

You're adorable.

[Turner Sparks]

Never really are.

[Phil Duckett]

I always had my first cigarette when I was eight, I think. Eight, I think. No, I was. I was. No, my uncle gave me my first cigar and I was nine. So.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, Seriously?

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, we had a car show. Car and bike show. There's girls walking around in thongs. And he gave me. He lit up a Swisher suite. He's like, you want one? I'm like, yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Casually. Not even like, hey, this would be crazy. Just like, oh, I should. It would be rude because he had.

[Phil Duckett]

Stolen some before but got caught. So he already knew I was thinking about smoking at nine years old. He was like, you gonna do it?

[Turner Sparks]

Do you know how small like a 9 year old child looks? Can you imagine giving a 9 year.

[Phil Duckett]

Old no to this day? He's like, you should have seen. He's like, I've never been more proud of you.

[Turner Sparks]

He's like.

[Phil Duckett]

He was walking through that. He was like puffing that cigar like a grown ass. I said, the fact that they didn't.

[Turner Sparks]

Lock you up totally in public. This wasn't like at Christmas when no one was around.

[Phil Duckett]

No. But we were also in Winnsboro, South Carolina at a car show. Car and bike show. So it is the hood rims, spinners, you know, I mean like it was.

[Turner Sparks]

That type of everything's leak that's basically international water.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, buddy, let me tell you. So I had no business being around women in G strings and I hear. But I was like smoking my uncle.

[Joe Russell]

There's a whole section just for general le.

[Turner Sparks]

C and walking around, definitely cussing big cussing.

[Phil Duckett]

By nine I was cussing heavy.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, for sure.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. I never spoke. So what was a menthol? It's. It's minty. I guess it's the idea.

[Phil Duckett]

It's cold. It's like cold on your throat. It's like, like somebody put Vicks vapor.

[Turner Sparks]

Up and I think that might be it. Although don't black People love Vicks Vapor up, right? I know this from like. I think it's a Wanda Sykes bit.

[Phil Duckett]

I mean, we use it during cold season.

[Turner Sparks]

I know it from stand up.

[Phil Duckett]

Cold and flu season is pretty big. But we don't just rub it on daily.

[Turner Sparks]

It's not a thing.

[Phil Duckett]

It's not lotion, Turner. It's Vicks. It would burn. It's not daily. No, no. Use as needed.

[Turner Sparks]

Wanda Sykes steered me wrong.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I think it was for the bit.

[Turner Sparks]

I think it was for the bit. All right, let's. We have one more. One more to close it out with. This isn't really much of an advice question. This is just an attack.

[Phil Duckett]

An attack. And it's this hate mail.

[Turner Sparks]

This is our first hate mail. Yes. This is a new segment. Should we debut it right now? Okay, we have a brand new segment, everybody. It is called Hate Mail. Most shows will not only. They'll not only run away from their hate mail, they will delete comments when people leave them on Instagram, social media, whatever they go through, delete. Only have the good ones. We are not like that because we.

[Phil Duckett]

Know this is a racist ass podcast. So it's going to rub some people the wrong way that don't realize that it's all in good fun and that we're joking and that, you know, I mean that we're just here to discuss things, to help us understand each other.

[Turner Sparks]

Ultimately, what we're doing is productive. We're promoting dialogue among races with the.

[Phil Duckett]

Questions that you don't want to ask, you know, because so this the dialogue, like you said, but there's always going to be a hating ass motherfucker. And this is why I'm here.

[Turner Sparks]

This is why we're here.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

We are cut from a different cloth. You send us hate mail, not only will we not delete it on the Instagram, we're going to read it, we're going to read it on it and.

[Phil Duckett]

Then we'll put your name on it.

[Turner Sparks]

Then we'll put your name on it. I'm going to call you.

[Phil Duckett]

Send it to your kids school.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

All right.

[Turner Sparks]

Whatever he just said, we'll do that too.

[Phil Duckett]

All right.

[Turner Sparks]

Something about your kids school.

[Phil Duckett]

Send it to your kids.

[Turner Sparks]

Send it to your kids school along.

[Phil Duckett]

With your wife's nudes. Okay, that was too far.

[Turner Sparks]

If we can get a hold of them.

[Phil Duckett]

If we can get a hold of them.

[Turner Sparks]

First piece of hate. And we only have one for this episode. This comes from Vinnie in Carlisle, England. He says hello.

[Phil Duckett]

Hello, Governor.

[Turner Sparks]

Hello, Governor. All you guys, all right? I'm not going to do the exit. Are you guys just an ugly version of Colin Jost and Michael Che? Wow.

[Phil Duckett]

I never thought I'm gonna answer yes. Yeah. The fact that you think we are that successful says all I need to know.

[Turner Sparks]

I do like that.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. You know what? That's not hate mail.

[Turner Sparks]

Big ups.

[Phil Duckett]

Big ups to England, huh?

[Turner Sparks]

And Carlisle. Panic on the streets of Carlisle. You know that song, Joe the smiths. Hang the DJ. Hang the DJ. Hang the DJs. Anyway, white music.

[Phil Duckett]

We've never heard of white music.

[Turner Sparks]

We've never heard of Hang the Djang the dj.

[Phil Duckett]

That's what he says.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Phil Duckett]

It's all about lynching in your white songs.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. If you're. Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah. I mean, it's England.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, that's true.

[Turner Sparks]

Are we assuming it's a black DJ in England?

[Phil Duckett]

No, I was assuming this was in South Carolina.

[Turner Sparks]

Are we the ugly version? Yeah. I mean, I'm going to say yes. I'm not as good looking as Colin.

[Phil Duckett]

Jost and I'm better looking than Michael Chase, so I don't really know how to answer that. Yeah. But we are the new up and comers.

[Turner Sparks]

We're taking over.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. About to say I don't really know. There's. I'm sure they're really nice guys, but they ain't doing what we doing and we ain't doing what they doing. So I think we just all going to be in our different lanes, counting the moolah.

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah, baby. Here we go. I think that's it. That's the show. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. Also White Lies. Oh, oh. And you wait promote. And we're going to. We're going to put some at the beginning, but tell them again.

[Phil Duckett]

October 25th is the release of my debut comedy special, Gentrification. It'll be out on all platforms. What a great name. We were just talking about it.

[Turner Sparks]

It's called Gentrification.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah. You know my middle name is Gentry, so I named it Gentrification.

[Turner Sparks]

No way is it.

[Phil Duckett]

No. Philip Gentry Ducket.

[Turner Sparks]

Are you named after Alvin Gentry the basketball?

[Phil Duckett]

No, I'm named after a classy Gentry, gentleman of the upper class. That's what it means. Just like the name. It was a tuxedo shop in Kansas where I was born. Some you didn't know about me.

[Turner Sparks]

Look at that.

[Phil Duckett]

Yeah, I don't remember. I was born in Kansas. I think I moved when I was 2.

[Turner Sparks]

Born in Kansas because I sell everybody.

[Phil Duckett]

From the Carolinas because I am both my parents from North Carolina and I grew up in North Carolina. I went to high school in South Carolina, but I was born in Wichita, Kansas.

[Turner Sparks]

Look at you.

[Phil Duckett]

Couldn't tell you shit about man of the People. I am, baby.

[Turner Sparks]

From the heartland. Come on. John Cougar Mellon, camp of podcasting.

[Phil Duckett]

I like that. That is dope. Yeah, baby.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, Gentry Vacation Gentrification, October 25th.

[Phil Duckett]

Man.

[Turner Sparks]

And that might be out depending upon when the show comes out. That might be out right now. So they can get on. Go to YouTube.

[Phil Duckett]

They go to YouTube. You can go to Sirius XM. It'll be on itunes. And Spotify.

[Turner Sparks]

All right, just type in Phil Ducket.

[Phil Duckett]

Phil Ducket.

[Turner Sparks]

Two T's.

[Phil Duckett]

Yes, sir. One L in Philip. Thank you.

[Turner Sparks]

And now, last thing we gotta do, Joe Russell to the show, White lies and dark Truce. What did we get right? What did we get wrong? Excuse me. What were we lying about?

[Joe Russell]

I'll just tell you a bunch of stuff here, guys.

[Turner Sparks]

A bunch?

[Phil Duckett]

I don't want a bunch.

[Joe Russell]

Well, Phil is saying that.

[Turner Sparks]

Is this hate mail.

[Joe Russell]

White ladies put peanut butter in their dreadlocks.

[Turner Sparks]

I said that.

[Joe Russell]

You said that?

[Turner Sparks]

Yeah.

[Joe Russell]

Okay, so it is true. Some people do do it. But if you consult the professionals, all the hair professionals online say that's not a good idea. You should just use your natural oils to maintain your dread.

[Turner Sparks]

Listen, here's my question. Who's been to a 311 concert and who hasn't? I've seen peanut butter and dreadlocks in these audience.

[Phil Duckett]

What are their pillowcases like? Are they just covered in mold and peanut butter?

[Turner Sparks]

I haven't hooked up with any of these people.

[Phil Duckett]

Just laying up inside a Tarzan looking woman.

[Turner Sparks]

Oh, boy.

[Joe Russell]

Is it the chunky peanut butter?

[Turner Sparks]

Extra chunky. It ain't. It's not jiff, let me tell you that much.

[Phil Duckett]

Y'all like crunchy peanut butter?

[Turner Sparks]

No.

[Joe Russell]

I do.

[Turner Sparks]

My parents did, though.

[Phil Duckett]

I just had it recently. Maybe like two years ago. It's not as bad as I thought it would be.

[Turner Sparks]

It's an odd sensation.

[Phil Duckett]

It is.

[Turner Sparks]

It's like orange juice with pulp.

[Phil Duckett]

Don't mind. As a kid, I hated it. As an adult, I don't mind.

[Turner Sparks]

Really. Okay. Yeah, it's caught in my throat. Anything else?

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, yeah. So when it comes to weddings. So this is the pay scale of what you should give people. So co workers or distant relatives, you should spend 50 to $75. Friends or relatives, 75 to 100. And for close friends, family members, or if you're in the wedding party, $100 to $150. Or more.

[Turner Sparks]

Or more. No, no, no.

[Phil Duckett]

No, no. So distant, distant friends are getting 75 gifts.

[Turner Sparks]

50 to 70 to 75. Listen, I don't think it is a.

[Joe Russell]

Free meal in drinking for you that night.

[Turner Sparks]

No. But if you're in the wedding party, they make you. I was. I had. I was forced to buy a suit one time, buy my own suit. Not only that, they're like, let's all pitch in on a gift for the groom. You're in for a grand just by showing up.

[Joe Russell]

Me and my wife, we have a piece of paper where we have all the money that everyone gave us for our wedding and we just give them the exact same amount of money back.

[Turner Sparks]

That is.

[Joe Russell]

We even do like a funny joke in the car. We go, and here's the money you gave us back. Thank you.

[Turner Sparks]

Hilarious.

[Phil Duckett]

Sick.

[Joe Russell]

And then we have one more thing about the menthol cigarettes. And I couldn't really find much about this except Cat Williams said it's got to be true. Black people prefer menthol cigarettes because they. They have a richer and stronger flavor. Because black people prefer that. That's what he said.

[Phil Duckett]

Well, we like flavor.

[Turner Sparks]

All right. Is that it?

[Joe Russell]

Yeah, that's it, guys.

[Turner Sparks]

That's the show. Everybody. Go to our Patreon patreon.com Black and white advice and subscribe. Stay black.

[Phil Duckett]

Stay black.

[Turner Sparks]

Yes.

[Phil Duckett]

Stay black, America.

[Turner Sparks]

Stay black. You've got a question but you're scared to ask? Just drop the boys a message? Cause they're up to the task.

[Phil Duckett]

They're all in the dice?

[Turner Sparks]

They ain't always nice but you can't.

[Phil Duckett]

Think twice and get it like it wide advice.

[Turner Sparks]

Black and white at once.

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