A Case of the Clam Slams

Summary

Bloodline Banter – “A Case of the Clam Slams”

Podcast: Bloodline Banter
Host: 2M Media Group (Riley & Landon)
Episode Date: July 16, 2026

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Episode Theme:

This episode is a freewheeling, humorous catch-up between Riley and Landon, touching on everything from sleep habits, food rants, southern identity, reality TV (specifically "Love Island" and the infamous “clam slam”), personal stories about health and relationships, and candid life advice. The hosts also respond to listener questions in their signature “Cousin Council” segment.

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Table of Contents

1. Casual Catch-Up and Sleep Talk (00:00–03:36)
2. Vacation Planning and Health Updates (03:37–06:46)
3. Family, Food, and Spending Sprees (06:47–08:07)
4. Reality TV: “Love Island” & The Clam Slam (08:08–10:44)
5. What’s Southern and What’s Not (22:44–26:47)
6. Life, Health, and Pet Insurance (13:19–16:47)
7. College, Roommates, and Adulting (16:47–19:01)
8. Vaping, Quitting, and Fidget Devices (19:29–22:20)
9. Listener Questions: Cousin Council (54:03–59:45)
10. Bloodline Brain Check & Lightning Round (41:51–54:03)
11. Miscellaneous Memorable Quotes

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1. Casual Catch-Up and Sleep Talk (00:00–03:36) <a id="segment1"></a>

• Riley opens the episode mid-chaos, Landon is eating a barbecue sandwich (“There’s enough mayonnaise on here to choke a cow.” – Landon, 00:20)
• Banter about sleep scores (Riley 76, Landon 71); new sleep tracking group; Riley's anxiety after hearing noises at night leading to a comic recount of home defense strategy and snack habits (“You couldn’t hit a bull on the ass with a bass fiddle.” – Riley, 02:15)
• Discussion of strange food habits: Landon saves last bites; Riley finds this baffling (“That is the most dumb... finish strong.” – Riley, 03:08)

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2. Vacation Planning and Health Updates (03:37–06:46) <a id="segment2"></a>

• Riley contemplates booking a spontaneous trip to the Maldives.
• Upcoming appointments: Ozzy (dog) needs vaccinations; Riley reschedules his dentist appointment for Botox. (“My forehead won’t know whether it’s happy, mad, sad, or upset.” – Riley, 04:39)
• Discussion about canceling appointments, Monday meetings, and “Dancing with the Stars” watch parties.
• Cooking & Diets: “75 hard” program, debates over what counts as processed food, food app scanning fiascos.

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3. Family, Food, and Spending Sprees (06:47–08:07) <a id="segment3"></a>

• Landon admits to a $700+ shopping spree at Alo (“Jesus saves so I can spend.” – Landon & Riley, 07:26)
• Debate around who cooks, DoorDash, and ordering out.
• Love for Mexican food, especially local favorite El Trio: (“I could eat Mexican every damn day.” – Landon, 12:08)

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4. Reality TV: “Love Island” & The Clam Slam (08:08–10:44) <a id="segment4"></a>

• Riley’s new “Love Island” obsession, describing it as “the slutty Bachelor”: “The only thing you have to do to be on that show is to be a whore.” – Riley, 08:26
• Kinsey, a contestant, notorious for her splits is given the nickname “clam slam.” (“They call it the clam slam.” – Landon, 08:54)
• “They all not — that’s not played the whole roster... pick one, shit!” – Riley, 09:11
• Banter about the absurdity of reality shows and potential for an “old Love Island” spin-off.

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5. What’s Southern and What’s Not (22:44–26:47) <a id="segment5"></a>

• Listeners question the claim that Texas isn’t “the South.” Riley clarifies: culturally Southern but geographically “the West.”
• “You cannot tell me that you are Southern if you grew up in Florida. North Florida... maybe.” – Riley, 24:17
• “If you don’t drink sweet tea, you’re not Southern in my opinion.” – Riley, 25:44
• Lively riffing about regional identity, food, and the Texas vs Deep South debate.

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6. Life, Health, and Pet Insurance (13:19–16:47) <a id="segment6"></a>

• Relationship status rumors: Riley addresses TikTok speculation about being married. “I’m single as a Pringle. Not fuckin’ nothing, nobody.” – Landon, 13:21
• Pet care expenses: “I’d rather pay that than him get sick and have rabies. But he has vet insurance. Covered in the blood and in the...” – Riley, 14:37-14:47
• Dogs and the afterlife: “Chihuahuas go straight to hell.” – Both, 15:00

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7. College, Roommates, and Adulting (16:47–19:01) <a id="segment7"></a>

• Hilarious recount of why neither host wanted to go to college: “That’s how you end up on a Dateline documentary.” – Riley, 17:52
• Roommate horror stories, ACT scores, “Dateline” jokes.
• Regret vs. relief about not finishing college; weighing the value of “the experience.”
• “People are carrying more diseases than a damn armadillo.” – Riley, 18:19

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8. Vaping, Quitting, and Fidget Devices (19:29–22:20) <a id="segment8"></a>

• Both hosts share stories about quitting vaping—illness, fidget devices like “Fume,” and the journey to being vape-free.
• Humorous mention of Riley throwing his vape “into grandma’s woods,” and a single slip-up from peer pressure: “If you ain’t choking, you ain’t smoking. You was smoking.” – Landon, 22:12
• Endorsed fidget products: “TryFume” (promo plug, code BLOODLINE).

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9. Listener Questions: Cousin Council (54:03–59:45) <a id="segment9"></a>

• Advice on swingers: “As long as you’re not harming anyone and everyone’s consenting, do what you want... The only swinging I’m doing is on the porch.” – Landon, 55:40
• Awkward family hookup secrets: When listener confesses that her husband’s cousin is an old hook-up, hosts encourage honesty (“It looks suspicious if you don’t say anything, and they find out later.” – Riley, 57:44).
• Toxic in-laws & wedding planning: Listeners planning to marry quietly due to unsupportive family: “Just because you’re blood don’t mean you’re family.” – Riley, 59:15

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10. Bloodline Brain Check & Lightning Round (41:51–54:03) <a id="segment10"></a>

• Rapid-fire trivia and banter: fun facts, geography, math questions, animal trivia, and comedic misfires (e.g., “Kilimanjaro” vs. “Mount Everest”, 48:25–48:36).
• Lightning round includes “What is the opposite of north?” and “What color is Shrek?” with plenty of self-deprecating humor from both.

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11. Miscellaneous Memorable Quotes <a id="memorablequotes"></a>

• On snacking habits:
  “You eat almost everything but leave one bite, like that’s your last hurrah... That one bite is what makes me feel completely bloated and disgusting.” – Landon (03:08)

• On food and the soul:
  “Healthy food might be good for your body, but it is not good for your spirit. And at the end of the day, your spirit is what's going to heaven.” – Riley (30:25)

• On southern credentials:
  “You cannot tell me that you are Southern if you grew up in Florida.” – Riley (24:17)
  “If you don’t drink sweet tea, you’re not Southern in my opinion.” – Riley (25:44)

• On reality TV culture:
  “It’s just a bunch of horny people who explore their connections with everybody... Then they eat each other’s throat on the couch.” – Riley (09:31)
  “Old Love Island—can you imagine as much fucking as they do on that show, somebody would have a heart attack.” – Riley (10:16)

• On relationship rumors:
  “I’m single as a Pringle—there’s no marriage, no nothing.” – Landon (13:21)

• On quitting vaping:
  “Let me tell a story on how I quit vaping. December 21, 2025... I came down with something called the flu and it put me on my deathbed... Then I just didn’t want to hit it after that.” – Landon (20:20)

• On money and shopping:
  “Jesus saves so I can spend.” – Landon & Riley (07:30)

• On honesty in relationships:
  “That looks suspicious if you don’t say anything, and they find out later.” – Riley (57:44)

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Additional Highlights

• Cooking: Riley gives a detailed, step-by-step steak recipe (35:01–37:41) including medium-rare secrets, compound butter, and favorite seasonings. Riley and Landon agree on a love of A1 steak sauce (“You will pull my A1 out of my cold, dead hands.” – Riley, 37:34)
• Random trivia and quick wit: The “Brain Check” section is as much about laughter as knowledge, peppered with intentional wrong answers and quick comebacks.

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Final Takeaway

Bloodline Banter’s “A Case of the Clam Slams” is equal parts hilarious overshare, regional pride, and candid real-talk around adulting, family, and pop culture. Expect light bickering, impromptu advice, regional debates, and enough one-liners to fill a t-shirt line—or at least a series of memes. And if you’re in Texas (statistically you are!), consider yourself well-loved by your digital cousins.

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For further banter, behind-the-scenes, or to submit your own dilemma for Cousin Council, follow Riley and Landon via their socials or subscribe on Apple Podcasts and leave them a review!

Transcript

[A]

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to Bloodline Banter. I'm Riley.

[B]

And I'm Landon.

[A]

I was not ready and he's already on the phone, ladies and gentlemen.

[B]

No, I'm eating.

[A]

He's eating a barbecue sandwich. If that's not the most bloodline banter thing in the world, I don't know what it is.

[B]

I got it earlier at Dolly's Travel.

[A]

I'm kind of jealous because it smells good. Out of one to ten, what do you rate it?

[B]

A seven. Oh, there's enough mayonnaise on here, though, to choke a cow.

[A]

As there should be. Is there enough? Is it better than Bucky's equivalent? Okay. Well, how'd you sleep last night?

[B]

I slept wonderful. My sleep scores is 71.

[A]

Okay. Mom was a 76.

[B]

So I'm also in a new sleep circle with some friends. I'll check this morning, all theirs was, like, 58.

[A]

Okay. You're also wearing those. God, forbidden.

[B]

Oh, I've got my flops on today. How you think about. What do you think about that?

[A]

You got one Time for me to hear the. And I'm gonna throw them off the balcony.

[B]

No, they're actually really comfortable. And this is what I wore home. So I've been in Tuscaloosa for a couple of days because my friend Kate, if you're watching, was promoted at work.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

To assistant manager.

[A]

Well, congratulations.

[B]

Which calls for a celebration, a celebratory drink or 40 drinks.

[A]

Okay, so we're back on the alcohol train.

[B]

Yeah. I'm just saying we celebrated.

[A]

Well, I. My sleep score was such a 76. It's been like in the high 80s past week, week and a half. It was 76 because at 3 o' clock this morning, I woke up to go pee because I have the bladder of an 85 year old.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And when I woke up, I went, laid back to. Went and laid back down. Yeah, about said. Went and laid back to bed. Went and laid back down to go to bed. And I kept hearing something. I was like, what the hell do I hear? Like, I thought, there's somebody in my apartment. Like, I'm gonna get shot.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But I had locked my doors, so,

[B]

you know, there was nobody in there.

[A]

I laid there for like 15 minutes. I was like, I still hear it for 15 minutes. Before you got up to check to

[B]

make sure there was nobody in your apartment.

[A]

Yes, because I didn't want to get shot. I still hear it even though I have a pew pew. That I could have shot with, but

[B]

I wouldn't trust you, Landon.

[A]

You couldn't hit a bull on the ass with a bass fiddle. Don't even come at me saying you couldn't.

[B]

Trust me, you definitely couldn't either.

[A]

Well, let me tell you something. There's enough bullets in the magazine. I'd have hit something.

[B]

That's why I got a shotgun.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

It blows.

[A]

But I kept hearing something. I was like, what the hell do I hear? And so I rolled over, and Ozzy was laying in his bed. So I was like, it's not him. Rolled back over, my fan was pointed to my nightstand, and it kept ruffling some papers. And what kind of papers? I just. I don't even know.

[B]

Little Debbie wrappers?

[A]

Huh?

[B]

Little Debbie wrappers?

[A]

No, bitch. I wish I was a Little Debbie wrapper. Why do you do that?

[B]

What?

[A]

Landon will eat all but one bite of something and then wrap it up in a paper towel.

[B]

It's not even that I wrap it up in a paper towel. I eat all of one bite of, like, almost everything. I have no idea why.

[A]

That is the most dumb. I've like that one bite is the last hurrah. Finish. Finish strong.

[B]

I know, but that last bite is what makes me feel completely bloated and disgusting.

[A]

So would you rather them take a bite out of your Big Mac before they give it to you? That way you finish all of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so you'd rather risk it in syphilis, but I'm happy to report there was nobody in my apartment.

[B]

Wonderful.

[A]

It was.

[B]

We got anything fun coming up? Like, at all?

[A]

Not that I know of.

[B]

We probably need to book a vacation here soon.

[A]

Well, I've been trying to get you a Pigeon Forge for a couple.

[B]

I don't want to go to Pigeon Forge.

[A]

Well, where do you want to go? Back from the beach?

[B]

I want to go to the Maldives.

[A]

But you don't want to go on a cruise. This is the first I've heard about a vacation, folks.

[B]

So just kind of want to go to the Maldives and say, in one of them little bungalows, well, let's go.

[A]

Okay, book it. Okay, but don't book it for a week and a half. Or like, a week, three weeks from now. Book that shit today and let's leave tomorrow.

[B]

Because I thought you were about to say, don't. Don't wait.

[A]

No, I don't want to have to wait.

[B]

Okay. You're going back home today to Georgia.

[A]

I am? I have an appointment. Ozzy has an appointment tomorrow to get caught up on his vaccinations, and then I actually canceled a dentist appointment. That I had for tomorrow. He always does, because I have another appointment.

[B]

I have to cancel mine for next Monday.

[A]

I have another appointment that's more important.

[B]

What?

[A]

I'm going to get Botox tomorrow. So, folks, the next time you see me, my forehead won't know whether it's happy, mad, sad, or upset.

[B]

It ain't gonna move.

[A]

Shit's gonna be frozen like the damn glacier that the squirrel and ice age runs on.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Why are you canceling your dentist appointment Monday?

[B]

Because I don't want to go, okay?

[A]

I have to go next Wednesday, and

[B]

it's my last Invisalign tray.

[A]

I have to go next Wednesday now. But you know what Monday is, don't you? Well, we have a meeting with our agent, but.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

12 dancing with the stars.

[B]

The next pro comes out. Yeah, I don't know that I'll. Yeah, I'll be watching it. I'm excited. I don't know.

[A]

We're watching it with Kirsten.

[B]

Family night.

[A]

Family stop comes back. No, we said we were cooking.

[B]

I'm not cooking. I'm ordering doordash.

[A]

We had made a pack. Well, we have to cook because Kirsten's in 75 hard.

[B]

Well, she can eat a wing.

[A]

She can't eat wing. Stop. She gets not eating any processed foods.

[B]

A wing ain't processed.

[A]

She's not eating any, like, refined sugar or anything.

[B]

I don't think there's anything in there like that.

[A]

I went to Dolly's travel stop with her yesterday, and we were trying to find some food for her to eat, and everything she scanned on her app, she couldn't eat. She had to get green beans and baked chicken at the damn buffet.

[B]

A wing is practically baked.

[A]

Okay, but after you add all that to it, it's not on 75 hard.

[B]

Well, I make wing stops. Y' all can have some broccolini and rice pilaf and some damn baked chicken.

[A]

I'll be eating Wingstop with a large on day 76. We're going to get frozen espresso martini.

[B]

Not espresso.

[A]

Espresso.

[B]

Espresso, yes. Okay. How long we think she's gonna make it?

[A]

She said last time she did it, she lasted 45 days. She showed me some of the. She had been eating like she's serious.

[B]

She'll be serious for about 45 days.

[A]

45 days longer.

[B]

More power to her. But I got news for her. She's around me. I'm. She's gonna cheat.

[A]

Well, she didn't cheat yesterday, but, yeah,

[B]

actually, you've got to have the Will and the power to not be able to buy that cinnamon bread.

[A]

I didn't buy any yesterday.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Just. Cause, first of all, I didn't know where they sold it.

[B]

At the coffee shop.

[A]

Okay, well, the line to the coffee shop was wrapped around the building.

[B]

Okay. They were triple wrapped.

[A]

I was not going to get a cup of ambition. But I did stumble through the door and head to the kitchen and sat at the table and ate the buffet food.

[B]

And was it good?

[A]

It was good.

[B]

Good. I'm on a money spending spree here lately.

[A]

What have you bought?

[B]

All kinds of shit. Ordered. Ordered $700 worth of shit from Aloe the other day. For what? Just because I wanted it.

[A]

Why am I just not finding out about this? We could have just went because I

[B]

didn't have what I wanted on in the store.

[A]

When's the last time?

[B]

You've been about three weeks.

[A]

It's been longer than that because I had.

[B]

They got a new color out too.

[A]

Three weeks.

[B]

Anyways, I've been ordering all kinds, but

[A]

a lot of times, you know what?

[B]

This is what I have to say about spending money Jesus saved so I can spend.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

And that'll preach.

[A]

Yep, sure will.

[B]

Jesus saves so I can spend.

[A]

Jesus saves. Riley spins.

[B]

That's right. Put it on a shirt, folks.

[A]

But send us our cut. Yeah, pretty sure that's already actually on a shirt.

[B]

I'm gonna take a sip. You think it is? It has to be.

[A]

I've seen people wear shirts.

[B]

I'm taking a sip of my Gatorade. Sponsored, by the way. But it could be.

[A]

By the time this airs, the show will be over and you're not gonna know what I'm talking about. I got into watching Love Island.

[B]

Oh, hell.

[A]

And I've been playing catch up because a new damn episode comes out every day except Wednesday. I know, like six days a week.

[B]

Can you imagine being the people that produce that show and edit it that quick?

[A]

I started the other day and I'm already on episode 21, so I'm trying to finish.

[B]

You're trucking on along.

[A]

I'm trying to get caught up before the finale on Sunday. I have come to the conclusion that the only thing you have to do to be on that show is to be a whore.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, they will couple up with someone, get to know them really well, and then they'll have a challenge where a bombshell enters the villa and they all fuck on the couch and they all have to watch it.

[B]

I'm like, I've never watched it.

[A]

Oh, my God. Don't watch it. It's abuse. Like, I feel bad for these people.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes. It's just a bunch of sluts.

[B]

Well, all I've seen is that Kenzie does a split when she's mad, when she's sad, when she's mad.

[A]

Kinsey does the splits on everything she does.

[B]

They call it the clam slam.

[A]

She's clam slamming. Let me tell you.

[B]

Because.

[A]

Let me tell you something. You know, she went to school in Kennesaw.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Like an hour and a half from where we grew up. Yes, absolutely. Yeah. Kenzie goes through them.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Kinsey, if you see this, I love you, you're funny, and you can dance. But damn, girl, pick one. Shit. Because they all not. That's not played the whole roster. I'm telling you right now. She. She's not happy with none of them. I swear to God. She's not.

[B]

So what's the point of the show? Like, what do they do on there? Do I need to watch it?

[A]

It's just a bunch of horny people who explore their connections with everybody. She's like, I really like so and so. Not Kenzie, just in general. I really like so and so, but I really want to explore my connection with this person. And then they'll be around this person. She'll be like, oh, my God, I'm so content with you. I don't want to explore my connection with anybody. And then they go in another room, they pull each other for chats. They go in another room, and they eat each other's throat on the couch. I'm like, holy shit. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Well, yeah, that's. That's a show.

[A]

It's like the slutty Bachelor.

[B]

It's like the slutty Bachelorette.

[A]

In a couple years, they're probably going to come out with a damn love island. Old love Island. Like, they imagine Bachelorette. Could you imagine as much fucking as they do on that show? Somebody would have a heart attack if they did an old version of Love Island. Okay.

[B]

I have never in my life watched the first episode. I don't see clips of it on Tick Tock.

[A]

They'd be clam slamming. They'd be slamming the clam, let me tell you.

[B]

Okay, well.

[A]

But it's a fun show. It's entertaining. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

You watch it?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Other than that, I don't know what

[B]

I'm watching right now. I don't have anything to watch.

[A]

That's all I'm watching right now. I did watch. I will find you. I tried to get you to watch it.

[B]

You would not watched it yet.

[A]

It's good and it's right up your alley. Anyways, people were really up in arms that you've never watched Toy Story, and they wanted to know what you watched as a kid.

[B]

Fast and the Furious.

[A]

White House down.

[B]

White House down.

[A]

Nikita.

[B]

Yeah, just like that. I probably shouldn't have watched that young of an age, but I. If it ain't got no action or no thrill in it, then I ain't watching it. They got to be slicing people's necks open and shooting people.

[A]

Yeah, I watch Blues Clues growing up, so that's probably.

[B]

Probably why I was a little bit violent growing up as a kid.

[A]

I'd say so.

[B]

But other than that. That's kind of the shit I watched.

[A]

What were you gonna say before I interrupted?

[B]

I think I'm gonna go home in the morning, too, to see the fam. Anita El Trio Mexican restaurant in La Fit.

[A]

That's where I'm going tomorrow night. You want to meet there for margaritas?

[B]

Margaritas? Yeah. Two margaritas there, and I'll have to have a dd.

[A]

Yep. There's this one Mexican restaurant Lana needs to work at back home. Y' all heard us talk about it. El Trio. It doesn't. I could go to every Mexican restaurant in Nashville and it would not be better than Altria.

[B]

I go to every Mexican restaurant on the east side of the country, and it would not be.

[A]

I don't think I've ever had food better than Altria.

[B]

I haven't. And maybe it's because I work there and I'm biased and like. But that tells you something. If I work there and I'm still going back to eat it, it's good shit.

[A]

Yeah. You write that shit every day.

[B]

I ate it every damn day. I could eat Mexican every damn day.

[A]

I could, too.

[B]

That's just busting.

[A]

But we need to go back. Damn. What you got pressing on your heart?

[B]

I don't know if I have anything really. Oh, I have something pressing on my heart.

[A]

What?

[B]

Right now. The search com. The search bar on Tik Tok and Snapchat and everywhere else, people are wondering when I got married, everyone.

[A]

If these would use the two common sense that God gave them. They would know that whenever you film a video, it inverts it on Tick Tock. The ring isn't even on his wedding finger. It's on my right hand.

[B]

But when I film a video and put it on Tick Tock and Instagram and Snapchat, it inverts it and they think it's on my left hand. It's not. It's on my right hand. I'm not married. And if I was married, do they really think that I would be able to hide that? I mean, I don't know how you can't hide.

[A]

I mean, not to mention we're content creators. We post our entire life.

[B]

Yeah, if I was married, that'd be the first thing I did.

[A]

You post on your damn Snapchat story so much you wouldn't have time to have a wedding and it'd be a secret.

[B]

I don't have any secrets. I tell everybody everything. So here's. Here's the lowdown for everybody want to know about my marriage life.

[A]

There's dating life in general.

[B]

There's no marriage. There's no nothing. I'm single as a Pringle. Not fucking nothing. Nobody. Just. Just single as a Pringle.

[A]

I've come to the conclusion, and I

[B]

love it that way. And the search bar on some of your videos is, who's Riley Mitchell's girlfriend?

[A]

Well, I've come to the conclusion that, well, I just got out of a relationship, so that's kind of more understandable.

[B]

Yeah, but.

[A]

But I'm content with myself.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

I'm content being single. I don't have. I don't want to have to put up with anybody. I don't have to have to explain what I'm doing, where I'm going, what I. Nope. I don't want to do that shit. The only person that I care to do what I explained my life to is my fucking dog.

[B]

You can't even talk about it.

[A]

I'll see. I'll be back, buddy. And I leave my apartment and he barks at the door for a couple of hours.

[B]

And I ain't even get no damn dog. Cause I don't even want no damn kids. And that's like having a kid.

[A]

It is.

[B]

And I ain't got the time nor the.

[A]

I have to take him to the vet in the morning to caught up on his vaccines. And that shit's probably gonna cost $300.

[B]

Is that all?

[A]

$300 to get a couple shots, be in and out in two or three minutes. That's a good bit, I think.

[B]

I mean, yeah, it is, but I don't know how much like stuff like that.

[A]

I mean, it could be different. I'd rather pay that than him get

[B]

sick and have rabies.

[A]

But he has vet insurance. He has pet insurance.

[B]

They make pet insurance. You got that shit?

[A]

Yeah, that's my child.

[B]

How much Is it every month, like, 20 bucks? Well, hell yeah.

[A]

My. My dog is covered. Covered in the blood and in the.

[B]

Your dog is saved.

[A]

Well, of course. We're a Christian household.

[B]

All dogs go to heaven.

[A]

We're a Christian household.

[B]

I don't think all dogs go to heaven.

[A]

No.

[B]

Chihuahua. Chihuahuas go straight to hell.

[A]

Them chihuahuas are going straight to hell. Oh,

[B]

yeah. That's all I have pressing on my mind today.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's just to let everybody know that

[A]

people don't, like whenever we plan our episodes. So we didn't.

[B]

No. Hell, no. I'm about to run out of. To talk about over here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you can believe it, I'm. I'm running out of. To say.

[A]

Well, I will say this. I'm about sick and tired of. I was tired of the heat, okay. Because it's 128 degrees Fahrenheit outside. Not Fahrenheit fair. And hell, I'm tired of the damn heat. And I said the other day, I wish it would rain. Like, just rain. Come in here, cool it off. It'd be gone.

[B]

It rained and didn't it?

[A]

It fucking rained and rained and rained and rained and rained and rained. And if it keeps raining, we're gonna have an arc building party in Nashville. So bring your own beer. Bring a covered dish.

[B]

I'm ready.

[A]

We're gonna meet up in a parking lot somewhere in the walmart parking lot. We're gonna build a boat.

[B]

Amen. Because we're gonna need it.

[A]

I'm tired of this shit.

[B]

And I'm ready for our arc. There's not gonna be any animals. Animals.

[A]

Don't bring your animals.

[B]

Nope.

[A]

Nope.

[B]

And I'm ready for winter. I'm ready for winter.

[A]

I'm not even ready for winter because I don't really. I don't want it to do anything. I just want it to be about 70 degrees with a breeze.

[B]

I'm ready for football season, too. And, like, the fall and the show.

[A]

I would have never expected him to,

[B]

but I've got sponsors are sending me to damn football games, so we do. If you want to. If you're listening to this and you're a sponsor and you want to sponsor a weekend at the Alabama football games, just let us up. But, yeah, I'm gonna throw. I'm gonna throw a shindig. I've actually got three Alabama polos in my car right now that I bought. Well, you don't like Alabama.

[A]

I don't have a problem with Alabama. Georgia has always been my number one. But Alabama's my number two because I respect Nick Saban. Yeah, I don't have a. I mean, I would go to an Alabama game. I don't have a problem with it.

[B]

Well, you know, I most went there. Do you remember that picture that's on my Facebook? And sorry, I dropped.

[A]

He dropped his barbecue bite. He dropped a 16th of a barbecue sandwich in the floor.

[B]

Well, hell, anyways, remember that sign I have posted on my Facebook?

[A]

I'm going to Bama.

[B]

I sure the hell was.

[A]

And I got accepted there, too.

[B]

It's because I didn't accept the ACT score because it was during COVID They

[A]

didn't accept it when they accepted yours either?

[B]

Hell no.

[A]

But I'm just saying, I know I made a 17 on that. You're looking at a dumb. I. I didn't take that. I took that Act 1. In hindsight, I wish I made a 17. I took it the second time. Made a 15 so. Please subscribe down below. Because

[B]

go to college. There's one reason and one reason alone.

[A]

Because you didn't want to roommate with someone else.

[B]

I didn't want to room with someone.

[A]

That's my reason, too.

[B]

And you have to room. Like you don't. Unless you live there and have went

[A]

to school and gotten an apartment my freshman year. I'd have done it.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

I don't want to live with somebody else. I'm not living with someone that I've never met. That's how you end up on a Dateline documentary. And I'm not dealing with somebody else's ass that don't wash their ass and don't pick up after themselves because I can be a little messy. It's my space. It's my. I pay the rent in that. I enjoy my rent. If it gets a little cluttered, guess what I pay that don't come. But I'm not going to sleep five feet away from somebody else who might not wash their ass. It's 20, 26. People are carrying more diseases than a damn armadillo.

[B]

I don't know. Yeah, that's the only reason I didn't go to college, because I didn't want to room with somebody the first year. And you had to have like an address or a house or something there within the general vicinity of the school to not have to room with somebody. And I wasn't damn rooming with no damn body. I don't want no damn roommates. I got one now. I never had one. I ain't doing it. And so I didn't go to college. But looking back, I'm glad that I didn't go.

[A]

I am too. But part of me wishes I would have went just for the experience. Just to get a degree.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, we can still do that.

[A]

Well, I know, but. And I don't really need one. But, like, I would still like to have something to fall back on.

[B]

Yeah. I have 12 credit hours left.

[A]

Yeah, I have a lot.

[B]

And I ain't finishing that until they see me.

[A]

I actually went to school.

[B]

You just keep interrupting everything I say.

[A]

Well, go ahead.

[B]

No, I'm done.

[A]

I'm hopper over here. Well, you too, people. Pick up your sandwich. Eat the last bite.

[B]

No, that's not. I don't want to be fat.

[A]

Well, anyways, if it comes down to me eating my very last bite of a barbecue sandwich and being fat, I think I'll take the latter.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Because anymore though, I've gained about £20.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. I need to get back with the program.

[B]

I've left my thing at home.

[A]

What?

[B]

My smoker, My fake smoker.

[A]

I was about to say, better not make no damn smoker.

[B]

No, it's my fume. My fume.

[A]

Your fume?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Fume is a fidget air device. It helps, like with the hand to mouth motion to quit vaping. And I love to just sit and twist it because, like, it makes a little noise.

[B]

I fidget with it, I spin it, I twist it, I bop it, lock it. I don't even know.

[A]

I pop it and drop it. I'm telling you, it's a flavored air device. It comes with cartridges. And you just pop the cartridge into the device, put it back. No battery or anything.

[B]

No battery. I mean, it's literally just flavored air. But it helps that hand to mouth,

[A]

you just take a draw like you would.

[B]

And I'm telling you, it's helped. Like, how many people?

[A]

Like 700,000 people from smoking.

[B]

700,001. Because I do.

[A]

Landon and I used to vape and we quit vaping back in December, and it really helped, like in the trans.

[B]

You know. Let's let me tell a story on how I quit vaping. Cuz Everybody ask.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

December 21st, 2025. Not 2025. 2020.

[A]

2025.

[B]

25. Yeah. That was last year. I came down with something called the flu, and it put me on my deathbed. It felt like I was in the middle of the damn I75 out here, got hit by them. This is I40, but Mack Truck Interstate. And I just didn't want to vape. Like I just didn't feel good enough to vape. And then I quit for like a week. And then I just didn't want to hit it after that. Like, I just felt terrible that flu lingered around in my system for a week or two after that. I just. It was out of my system and I didn't want to hit it.

[A]

Well, the last relation.

[B]

But I will say this. Sometimes I crave it, sometimes I don't. But that's why I got my theme. Because when I'm craving something on my

[A]

theme, the you guys can go to trifium.com and you guys can go to try fume.com and use our promo code bloodline for a free gift with your purchase of a Journey pack.

[B]

Yes, you can.

[A]

I quit vaping because my ex wanted me to quit vaping. But also just like, it wasn't adding anything to my life. And so I actually was at my grandma's. It was like nine o'. Clock. And so I hit the vape one last time and then I threw it in the woods. So if you're a conservationist who doesn't like to litter, then you can go pick my vape up out of my grandma's woods because it's been there for about seven months and I haven't hit one since. Actually, I hit one in the parking lot of Walmart in like February. Okay. Because Caitlin was like, try my vape.

[B]

And it was she peer pressure.

[A]

She did.

[B]

It was Shout Out Caitlin, this episode.

[A]

It was cherry cola flavored.

[B]

Was it good?

[A]

She was like, try my vape. I was like, no, I don't really want to. And she was like, okay. I was like, yeah, give it to me. It felt like someone punched me in the throat. It hurt so bad. I was coughing. Landon, they say if you ain't choking, you ain't smoking.

[B]

You was smoking.

[A]

I was like, literally, like, I about passed out. I about died.

[B]

Died, dead. Do you have anything pressing on you today?

[A]

I don't think so.

[B]

Only me, I think.

[A]

I mean, I don't really. I mean, I've really not done anything because you've not been home.

[B]

I had to go celebrate, Kate.

[A]

I know that. But I mean, I have not. I've been lonely. I've not been able to do anything promoted.

[B]

I already said that. But you've been what?

[A]

I've been bored. I will say people are up in arms about the fact that we said Texas wasn't the South.

[B]

Oh, hell.

[A]

Okay, let me.

[B]

Let's give our.

[A]

Allow me to clarify for all of our Texas loving people, honorary Cousins, I will say this. Y' all in Texas really know how to throw down on the bloodline banter. Because Texas is our leading state for downloads. By far.

[B]

By far.

[A]

By 15,000 plus.

[B]

Oh, it's insane.

[A]

Like, y' all are beating our home state of Georgia and our Tennessee. So all my family out there in Georgia who are telling everybody that you're related to me and not streaming the punk. Whooping your ass.

[B]

Whooping your ass.

[A]

Kicking it. So if we ever go on tour, we're coming to a city near you, Texas. Maybe Austin, Dallas, San Antonio, Fort Worth, wherever, Wherever.

[B]

We'll do a show in the damn stockyard.

[A]

Yep. Damn right. And I'm friends with some of the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders. So, yeah, like, we'll just throw a damn party.

[B]

We'll have a damn shindig.

[A]

But when I say that Texas isn't the South, I'm not saying that Texas. They don't act Southern in Texas. I'm saying, yes, they do act Southern in Texas. When I say Texas isn't the South, I'm not referring to their culture, their way of life. I'm saying geographically. In my opinion, Texas is not the South. Texas is in the West.

[B]

But you also have to agree. I agree. No, listen, even on the cultural side of things, like how they live, how they talk, all that stuff, like, it is Southern, but, like, it's a completely different kind of Southern.

[A]

Well, from here, that's with every state. Because I would argue that Florida isn't the south either.

[B]

No. Hell, no.

[A]

Florida is geographically the South. But you cannot tell me that you are Southern if you grew up in Florida. North Florida, like the people in Florida are. You can tell that they're from the South. Most people in Florida don't even have a Southern accent. No, I'm not saying a Southern accent makes you Southern, but geographically, in my opinion, the south, honestly, when I think of the south, the Deep South, I think of Alabama, Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, North Carolina, South Carolina, Kentucky.

[B]

Sometimes not even really Kentucky.

[A]

Yeah. That shit stops in Johnson City, Tennessee, if you ask me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And like, Mississippi, that's the Deep South.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

When I say the South, I'm referring to the Deep South. Like, we grew up in the damn. In the South. I mean, we. Sometimes for dinner, we just ate damn cornbread, pinto beans and fucking cabbage.

[B]

Yeah. And we drink sweet tea down here.

[A]

Telling you, y' all don't even put beans in your chili in Texas.

[B]

Really?

[A]

No. That's like, a huge argument. Beans do not go in chili in Texas. Okay, bitch, we put eight cans of different beans in our chili.

[B]

And then Kirsten, she doesn't even drink sweet tea. But is that a Kirsten thing or is that a Texas thing? Because, well, I know a lot of people in Texas that don't drink sweet tea. They order iced tea. Well, just iced tea.

[A]

I don't give a fuck if you live at the. In the damn foothills of Appalachia if you don't drink sweet tea. You're not Southern in my opinion.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

That is a staple.

[B]

No, it is.

[A]

And before you say I can't have sweet tea, Riley, I'm diabetic.

[B]

So am I.

[A]

Okay, I'm not referring to you.

[B]

I do got to go get my blood sugar checked.

[A]

Did that ever come in?

[B]

Probably. It's there. I need to go get it.

[A]

I went down to the package room earlier and I mean, I really wasn't looking, but I.

[B]

He was snooping to see if I had any packages.

[A]

No, I just realized that you had one because it was cowboy cluster and I saw it. Yeah, but. And I had one too.

[B]

No, I need to go get my blood work done. I think I probably am a diabetic.

[A]

Well, I think you might be type one.

[B]

What is that?

[A]

It's the kind you're born with. Type 1 like. Because you are pretty hypoglycemy.

[B]

Well, I'm hypoglycemic. I like my blood sugar stays so, so low. But the other day I checked, my sugar was 268.

[A]

Yeah, you're definitely top one. So you know you're probably a type one diabetic.

[B]

That's just how it goes.

[A]

But I mean, there's a lot of people.

[B]

But it's never been that high before ever. Cuz it. It never. I never knew it went high. I thought it was just always like.

[A]

Well, diabetes runs in both sides of our family. Diabetes. I don't know if it runs on your dad's side, but it runs in heavy.

[B]

Nothing. Running on my dad's side. Them live to be 107.

[A]

Yeah, well, diabetes runs on both sides of my family.

[B]

Only thing that runs on my dad's side's arthritis. And I done damn sure already got that. I got the restless leg syndrome too.

[A]

Oh my gosh. I couldn't go to bed the other day and I laid in bed and tossed and turned till 2 o' clock in the morning. Really? I was like bouncing my leg in the bed. I couldn't fall asleep.

[B]

Well, restless leg syndrome, you're laying there and it feels like you're still Walking and running.

[A]

Yeah, I don't really have. Ever have that. My nana has it, though.

[B]

It's not. It doesn't hurt. It's just miserable and uncomfortable and you have to get up and run or walk.

[A]

Yeah. Same where Landon posted on a Snapchat story, like at 11 o' clock the other day. I was like, where the hell's he going?

[B]

My legs was still wanting to walk.

[A]

He goes for a walk. And I was like, oh, he's pissed.

[B]

No, I had to take him for a walk.

[A]

He. He.

[B]

I had to take these knees for a walk.

[A]

Yep, them legs were made for walking. Ain't that a song?

[B]

I thought it was in? Boots were made for stomping.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

All I know is way down yonder on the Chattahoochee.

[A]

Yeah, it's harder than hoochie coochie and

[B]

it's harder than the hoochie coochie outside.

[A]

But, yeah, the Fourth of July was fun.

[B]

Fourth of July was wonderful.

[A]

We went over to a friend's house, had a good time. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

What are you doing this weekend? Oh, we're going home. What are you doing next weekend?

[A]

I feel like we have something next weekend.

[B]

I don't think we do.

[A]

What is next weekend? What's the dates?

[B]

I have no idea what we got going on.

[A]

Uno momento.

[B]

Uno momento.

[A]

July 17th and 18th, 19th. I don't know. I don't think I have anything today but

[B]

July 18th, 19th. What am I doing that weekend? I don't think I have anything to do either. But I know the following weekend. We're going to Montgomery, Alabama.

[A]

Yes, we are. We're going to Leanne Morgan show. Yes. We need to book a hotel for that. We talked about that last week. We never did.

[B]

Okay, well, you know what?

[A]

You have the car.

[B]

Company car, just like I do. Book that bitch if you want it done any sooner than I done it.

[A]

And if I book a hotel that you're not content with, I will never hear the end of that fucking shit. So guess what?

[B]

You take what I'm content with.

[A]

Okay, well, you can book it. I mean, I'm not blaming you for not booking it. Okay, well, then we need to do it.

[B]

You want it booked right now? Right this instant

[A]

anyways, guys.

[B]

This is my right hand, by the way. I'm flipping it off with my bird finger. This is not my wedding finger, okay? I don't have a bitches Louis Vuitton, don't have a marriage certificate. But when I do, you'll know because Riley's marrying me.

[A]

As in, like, I'm gonna be the minister. Yeah, but I asked you that the other day. You said I couldn't do that and be your best man. So true. And I kind of feel like nobody else should be able to be your best man. No, I'm gonna do both.

[B]

Could you imagine that?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Officiate and then go. Walk down and then.

[A]

Well, it would be. I'd walk up and then I would just.

[B]

Because Riley's an ordained minister.

[A]

I am. I paid 13 for that one time on Facebook.

[B]

So if you need married, Riley's doing house calls.

[A]

Sure am.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. That's how you're gonna get paid wedding cake.

[A]

But not yet, because I gotta shed a couple pounds. Yeah, but, you know, I mean, I've really not got anything.

[B]

Preston, we have rambled the hell out of this episode. We've not given them anything. Anything.

[A]

Anything of value.

[B]

Nothing. We don't really don't give anything of value. Unless you're one of our sponsors, then,

[A]

you know, I have.

[B]

That's where we give our.

[A]

I've gained weight, and it, like, I just have, because I've gotten to where I just would just eat whatever I wanted to. But I've come to the conclusion that if you eat healthy food, it might be good for your body, but it is not good for your spirit.

[B]

And at the end of the day, your spirit is what's going to heaven. Your soul.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so it really. Does it matter if you. If it's a little obese?

[A]

You know, I.

[B]

As long as it's in the blood of the Lord, it is.

[A]

There's just more of it to wash and see. The thing is, is whenever we get to heaven, we're all going to be like, have no pain, no suffering. So I won't even have arthritic joints if I'm big. But like, I said something that was keto approved. That really just sat right with my soul, which I'm not even on keto. But that's just. I'm just saying, like, only thing that I think has ever sat right with

[B]

my soul is them late July chips.

[A]

That is healthy. It's like a piece of fruit. Pineapple.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I ain't never met a pineapple I didn't like. I love pineapple. I could eat a damn. Do they grow on a tree?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Do pineapples grow on a tree?

[B]

We're in the ground.

[A]

Hey, Siri, how do pineapples grow?

[B]

Pineapples grow on short stems above a spiky pineapple. Plant in a tropical environment. The pineapple grows from the central stem of the plant, which grows a purple flower first. So it's just a plant.

[A]

A plant. So.

[B]

So it's a pineapple plant. They grow in a pot.

[A]

I could eat a pineapple plant. I love it. I love pineapple juice. I love. Yeah, I love it.

[B]

You know what I love?

[A]

What?

[B]

A nap. I'm gonna take a nap when I get home.

[A]

What time did you wake up this morning?

[B]

Nine. Okay, probably 8:30.

[A]

So you woke up before me? Probably.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't. Yeah, but I don't know. I didn't. I don't even know what time. Woke up.

[B]

Woke up. Went to the tea shop. Loaded tea shop. And so you're in a small town

[A]

without saying you're on a small town.

[B]

Took Kate by the pants store. A loaded tea. Got my hat. Hat back from her.

[A]

Okay,

[B]

where'd I go after that? Home. Here.

[A]

Well, how was the drive?

[B]

You know, it wasn't bad, actually. I never have problems on the drive. But I will say this. I was on the phone with Kirsten earlier and since my car drives itself, I don't really pay attention. Like, I pay attention enough to know that, like, I'm not going to wreck, but since it self drives like I. I'm clocked out. Yeah, okay. I'm. I'm clocked out. And it does a good job at self driving. It drives better than me.

[A]

What'd you and Kirsten talk about?

[B]

Well, we talked about how I. Since I don't pay attention really, when I'm driving because my car drives itself, I stumble upon a new location every time I drive.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And it's the same damn drive every time.

[A]

Well, if you're not driving, you would think you'd have more time to look around.

[B]

No, I look on my phone.

[A]

Oh, okay. The truth comes out.

[B]

I look on my phone. I eat sometimes I set my computer up and watch Netflix and my. I do everything but drive.

[A]

So don't listen to anything that we're saying because we'll get you in an accident.

[B]

No, we won't. That Tesla Tammy knows exactly what the she's doing.

[A]

You know, somebody is really gonna have to call Morgan and Morgan because you're going to hit their ass.

[B]

No, I'm not.

[A]

Anyway.

[B]

Anyways, I'm just saying, like, even Kate was like, why do you put in the address everywhere we go here? And I was like, well, I don't know my way around. She's like, you've been like, you've known me for three Months now you've stayed at my house. Like, why do you need the address? Because, Kate, whenever I'm. My car's driving itself, I'm not paying attention. So I'm telling you, if you don't actually, like, drive it yourself, you really don't know where you're at. Would you agree with that? Yeah, I started putting the address, so,

[A]

I mean, I still don't even know whenever I'm here. Like, I know my way around Nash.

[B]

For now, I only do little bit.

[A]

Yeah, I know my way around Asheville. If I put in. Sometimes I do put in the directions just because I want to know if there's traffic somewhere. So I know which way to go. But I've gotten to where I don't need the directions, especially to go to the Walmart. I mean, it's pretty much a straight shot. What you doing over there?

[B]

I was texting somebody,

[A]

but.

[B]

Are you ready to get into bloodline brain check?

[A]

I mean, we can. I just figured we'd ramble for a minute. Oh, I don't know. I'm having a good time. Just shooting the shit. You know, I hadn't seen you in four days.

[B]

Okay, it's been four days.

[A]

Three days.

[B]

Two and a half.

[A]

But you left at 5:00 clock in the morning the other day. That's a day to me. You think I'm a. It's not like I'd have seen you before 5 o' clock anyways.

[B]

No, but like, it's been like two days.

[A]

I cooked a steak last night. It was busting.

[B]

Was it? How'd you do it? Tell us. In the iron skillet.

[A]

So I went to Whole Foods, got a New York strip, got my steak. This is how to cook with Riley101.

[B]

I think I've seen a picture of on your story. It was medium.

[A]

I set it out for about 45 minutes to get room temperature.

[B]

That's important.

[A]

If you cook it cold, it's going to cook. It's not gonna cook evenly, so it's gonna cook the outside before it cooks inside. Set it out. I put kosher salt and black pepper on it.

[B]

Did you pat it dry?

[A]

Well, yeah. And then I put kosher salt and black pepper on it. Then let it sit out for about 45 minutes. Got my cast iron, put some avocado oil in it.

[B]

Okay. High smoke point oil. Good.

[A]

Laid it in the pan. And then I made a compound butter.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I got some butter. Put some garlic. Garlic. Fresh garlic. I didn't even use garlic powder.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Thyme, rosemary and Then some cowboy butter seasoning and then wrapped.

[B]

Cowboy butter seasoning from where?

[A]

Kinder's.

[B]

Kinder's is the best.

[A]

Kinder's is the shit. Kinder's. You really need to sponsor us.

[B]

Yeah, you do. That's all my cabinet. That's all I. Other than sav your mama, that's all that's in my cabinet.

[A]

Every damn thing they have.

[B]

I do, too.

[A]

So rolled it up in Saran Wrap, put it in the freezer so it get hard, and then I started my steak, put it in the cast iron, put a cast iron weighted thing on top of it. So good. Good sear, good contact with the pan. Waited three minutes, flipped it over on the other side, waited another three minutes. Before I did that, I seared the fat cap for one minute, and then I threw the butter in there, basted it with the butter, forked it over on top of the steak for one minute after I turned the temperature down on low. Okay, and then did you let your

[B]

steak sit before you ate it?

[A]

I put it out on my cutting board, set a timer for. I normally do 10 minutes, but I was hungry, so I did eight minutes. So then in the meantime, I made some roasted potatoes in the air fryer.

[B]

And it don't take long at all to roast them bitches in the air fryer.

[A]

And so then I cut into my steak. It was a perfect medium. And then I enjoyed my steak. And I used the butter from the pan and I dip my steak in it. That's probably why I'm gaining weight. So I was just fat and grease, sopped it up like a dog and ate it. And then I also dipped my potatoes in Wingstop Ranch.

[B]

Now that'll shout.

[A]

And I used A one for the steak because I don't care what you say about a good steak. Don't need seasoning. That's bullshit.

[B]

You mean don't eat sauce.

[A]

Seasoning sauce, whatever. That's bullshit. You will pull my A1 out of my cold, dead hands.

[B]

I could eat A1 on it. I could drink A1. It's not even for the. It's not even the fact, like, if you. I know. It's like an insult to the chef sometimes. If you use steak sauce.

[A]

I don't think it is.

[B]

It's not to me.

[A]

I don't care if the chef feels insulted by my steak sauce.

[B]

Me either. Because it's.

[A]

I mean, Bobby Fl could make me a second. I'd pour A one on that.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's not because the steak's not Good. It's because I love A1.

[A]

Yeah, I ate that.

[B]

I dip shrimp in A1.

[A]

I sell that for a reason.

[B]

A1's just good.

[A]

As I eat ranch on my steak too.

[B]

I do too. And you know what I do? I'll take a bite of steak and I'll dip half of it in ranch

[A]

and half of it. Eat that whole pit. Yep, sure. Well. But yeah, I enjoyed my Definitely doordash

[B]

and wing stop later. I've not had it in over two months, probably.

[A]

Oh my gosh.

[B]

I know. Three months. Really?

[A]

In my. In my fridge.

[B]

I'm about to get a large one. Well, no, cuz I'm leaving tomorrow, so it ain't going to do me no good to do a large ranch because I won't be here to eat it.

[A]

You'll be back in two days. You keep that in the fridge. Landon, you ate a seafood bowl three days after you get it.

[B]

No, I don't. A day the next day.

[A]

You ate it the other day, like two minutes after.

[B]

No, it was the next day.

[A]

You've done it like that before. You've done it like that before because I've told you about it and you were like, riley, it's okay.

[B]

Not a seafood bowl. Maybe like the potatoes out of it and stuff, but not like the shrimp. I'm not trying to get damn food poison.

[A]

I have a hard time.

[B]

I would have to bend over and shit from here to the damn.

[A]

It don't matter if I eat it the day of or the day after. I give it 15 minutes and I'm damn squenching my ass.

[B]

You're ready to blow and go.

[A]

I could bend over and she would dart. That is like. Because it's just a bunch of butter and oil just runs right through you.

[B]

Which I've not. I think I'm immune to it now. Coffee used to make me poop.

[A]

Coffee doesn't me. It never has. Everybody's like, if you're constipated, go get your coffee. Don't work on me.

[B]

It used to work on me. I could drink a Starbucks coffee and within five minutes.

[A]

Yeah, at first, like a long time ago, but now it's like, it doesn't do anything for me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But. Yeah, so that's.

[B]

What do you got on the agenda for the rest of the day today?

[A]

Oh, you're leaving the rally? I'm leaving as soon as we get up.

[B]

What's your favorite meal to make?

[A]

I really like making steak.

[B]

It's just so easy.

[A]

Yeah. And I pulled my fire alarm off. The wall.

[B]

So the smoke doesn't.

[A]

So the smoke detector. And if you work at my apartment complex. I really didn't.

[B]

No, you did. He just pulls it off whenever he's cooking steak.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then he plugs it back in,

[A]

pull it out of my drawer. But probably steak.

[B]

Yeah, probably mine, too. Do you know what I like?

[A]

What?

[B]

A little hamburger steak.

[A]

Oh, I do, too. I made some the other day.

[B]

I did, too. I made three and ate all three.

[A]

You made three of them? And then I made two. I made. I pattied out three, cooked two.

[B]

If you don't know hamburger steakhead, it's pretty much just like a hamburger patty fried in a skillet with some, like, grilled onions, grilled bell peppers, all that.

[A]

Mushrooms. Yeah, okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I won on that.

[B]

And you know what I don't do? I don't make a gravy for mine. I don't like a gravy. You know what I do? I pour. My gravy is a one.

[A]

I'm not opposed to a gravy, but I don't necessarily love it.

[B]

I don't want a gravy unless I'm eating down mashed potatoes, you know, And

[A]

I really don't care for gravy with mashed potatoes. I do if it's from Popeyes sometimes. If it's a Popeyes, I will, but they're great. Or Wingstop Landon. Every time we doordash Popeyes, they cancel the order or the shit's wrong. If you want Popeyes, go get it,

[B]

and I ain't going to get it.

[A]

Yeah, I've learned not to doordash Popeyes because they always it up doordash.

[B]

We'd be shouting y' all the hell out. Yeah, we'll take some dollars.

[A]

I'm a Dash Pass member.

[B]

Oh, I mean, too. $10 a month.

[A]

I had something the other day. I doordashed like 10 times in two weeks. The other day they told me that I unlocked a 30 reward, but I couldn't use it for 30 days. That's the dumbest I've ever heard. If I get my reward, I want it now. Are your eyelids heavy today? I know it sounds to me like you didn't sleep too good this last night.

[B]

No, 71. I slept wonderful.

[A]

Well, are you getting sick?

[B]

No.

[A]

Well, if you are, you better check it out.

[B]

I just feel like a little bleh. I did get an iv, though.

[A]

When?

[B]

In Alabama. I did. They come to your house there if

[A]

I ask you to go get an iv, you never want to anymore.

[B]

They didn't use one of them little butterfly needles. It was a big one.

[A]

That's what you get for going without me.

[B]

Yeah, I did.

[A]

Anyways, we can get into bloodline brain channel.

[B]

Okay, give me two seconds. Let me get my stuff prepared because I.

[A]

Okay, well, I'll ask you questions first.

[B]

Well, no, I need to get my stuff prepared first. Give me.

[A]

I told him earlier he was going to have to be prepared because I already had mine in my notes. And make sure they're not questions that you've already asked me before because I can't feel smart after that. I just feel like you don't pay attention.

[B]

What do I even ask? Like, is this.

[A]

You ask me the same every week. You've asked me what state doesn't have a Q in it? Or the only state that you've asked. You've asked me, like, something about fingerprints and koalas 12 times.

[B]

Well, what the hell do I type into Chat?

[A]

You say, give me more. You've already give me all of these, you dumb bitch. That's what I told mine earlier. I talked chatgpt like it's the dirt on my shoe.

[B]

4.

[A]

Speaking of, they're building these damn data centers everywhere, Apparently, and everybody's pissed off about it. And I would be too. Then they're like, well, don't use ChatGPT, okay, bitch? Well, Google needs to get better.

[B]

It just gave me like 400 questions.

[A]

Okay, are you ready?

[B]

Yeah. Oh, God. And it's not even like, what is

[A]

the only US state whose name can be typed out using one row of a keyboard?

[B]

You know, I don't even think I know what letters are in the middle of the keyboard.

[A]

You have Q, you have A, you have S, you have W, you have.

[B]

Are these all on the top?

[A]

I've memorized the keyboard.

[B]

Yeah, I'm sorry that you're just a human typewriter.

[A]

I'm just on my phone somewhere. I don't know.

[B]

Alabama.

[A]

A, L, A, B, A M, A. No, I don't know. Alaska.

[B]

Oh, I was close.

[A]

Kinda. Okay, which country is both in Europe and Asia?

[B]

Which country is both in Europe and Asia? It's like a popular country. Like what? I know this country. Or is it like.

[A]

I wouldn't say it's a tiny ass?

[B]

Little.

[A]

No, it's not like Uzbekistan or some bullshit.

[B]

Well, I know that.

[A]

Well, if you know that one, then you should know this one. What?

[B]

It's definitely not right. What is it Greenland?

[A]

No, I don't.

[B]

Well, what is it then?

[A]

Turkey.

[B]

Gobble gobble, bitch.

[A]

What was Invented first a can opener or canned food.

[B]

Canned food, probably. But then how the fuck they get in it?

[A]

I guess they had to throw it in a rock, like the caveman. They had to grit an arrowhead and throw it into it. Cause let me tell you something. Whenever I can't find my can opener and I'm trying to open green beans, I try to stab the shit out of that little bitch with a knife, and it don't ever work. I get a little bit of it open, and I have to, like, get the damn. It never works. How many numbers follow? How many zeros are in 1 billion?

[B]

Nine.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What are. What is the only continent with land and off or hemispheres?

[B]

I don't know what a hemisphere is. What is that?

[A]

Just a guess.

[B]

What continent.

[A]

What continent has land in all four hemispheres?

[B]

North America?

[A]

No.

[B]

South America?

[A]

No.

[B]

Asia?

[A]

No.

[B]

Europe.

[A]

You're not even trying at this point.

[B]

Yes, I am. Africa. Yes. Okay. And Shakira is not from Africa.

[A]

She's from Colombia. Then why does she sing that song?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Which US State has the shortest official name?

[B]

I feel like this is kind of common sense. It is the shortest official name. Utah.

[A]

Well, I mean, that you would think it'd be tied, but the. It says Ohio.

[B]

They ain't got. They got the same amount, right?

[A]

Yeah, I got four. That's true. I don't know.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Which country has the most pyramids?

[B]

Egypt. No, that was a good guess.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't even know that this other country had a pyramid. They're not important because they're not the pyramids of Giza.

[B]

I don't know, Riley.

[A]

Sudan. Oh, yeah, like you knew that. I don't even know where Sudan is on a map. The only thing I know about Sudan is that they stole Olivia Pope one time.

[B]

That's all I.

[A]

Which is further north, Rome or New York City?

[B]

New York City.

[A]

No. Rome.

[B]

Oh, I don't know. Why?

[A]

Which is further south, Detroit or Canada?

[B]

South of what? That's because. Detroit, north, Canada. South of us, dumbass.

[A]

I don't. I don't know. That's a stupid question. What is the oldest continuously inhabited city? Think about the Bible.

[B]

Jerusalem.

[A]

No. Good guess.

[B]

Bethlehem.

[A]

No. Damascus. Okay, the road to Damascus. I think that's a place.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay, two more. What is the most common birthday month?

[B]

August.

[A]

No.

[B]

May.

[A]

September.

[B]

Really?

[A]

And what country has no rivers?

[B]

Egypt.

[A]

No, it's Saudi Arabia. But how the hell they get water? Y' all got ponds.

[B]

If they ain't got no rivers, how are they getting Shipped to them? No, cargo ships.

[A]

Cargo plane, I guess.

[B]

Yeah. They said, what does that put me?

[A]

They said, the Strait of Harmony.

[B]

When I think of Egypt, I just

[A]

think

[B]

we just said we attacked them again today. Or not today.

[A]

But of course we did. We attack every fucking body. And I'm not saying they didn't deserve it because I don't know what they did. But I'm about tired of war. I'm ready for world peace and tranquility among the nations. Jesus.

[B]

What is the tallest mountain in the world?

[A]

Mount Kilimanjaro.

[B]

No. What the fuck is Mount Kilimanjaro?

[A]

Everybody knows that land and Mount Everest.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What is Kilimanjaro?

[A]

It's another mountain.

[B]

I thought Manjaro was Ozempic.

[A]

That's Mounjaro, bitch.

[B]

Oh. What color is a giraffe's tongue?

[A]

Purple.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You never fed the giraffe at the Chattanooga Zoo? They reach over and they go, you should know this.

[B]

You've asked me this before, but, like, you should know. How many bones does an adult have?

[A]

236. 226. 242. 252.

[B]

No.

[A]

How many?

[B]

Two hundred and six.

[A]

Oh, fuck.

[B]

Whatever.

[A]

Could you put your flip flop on? I feel like you're letting everybody see the dogs for free.

[B]

They are. Well, I mean, they can still see them if I flip flops on.

[A]

Yeah, but it's just a little bit more.

[B]

What state was the last to join the United States?

[A]

Hawaii.

[B]

Yeah, how'd you know that?

[A]

Because I knew Arizona State 48. And I'm assuming Alaska and Hawaii were the last two.

[B]

Okay, I don't know about Alaska, but I know Hawaii was the last bitch to get approved.

[A]

What was the first state to join the. Join the thirteen colonies?

[B]

Georgia. Mm. That's one of the questions. How many colonies were there? 13. Who appears on the hundred dollar bill?

[A]

Jefferson. No, no, no, no, no. Benjamin Franklin.

[B]

Yeah. Okay, so you're smart today. If a shirt. If a shirt costs $40 and it's 50% off, how much does it cost?

[A]

$20.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

God, I hope I'd have gotten that right.

[B]

You looked a little startled there for a minute.

[A]

I thought it was a trick question at first. You seem low energy today.

[B]

I'm just reading some of these and I'm like, why the fuck would you ask this?

[A]

What is it?

[B]

What does PIN stand for? P I N.

[A]

Fuck fano.

[B]

Oh, so maybe not position. Pin. What does PIN stand for? P I N. When I say this,

[A]

you're gonna be like, Are you talking about pin on a map or like a pin password? P I, N. Okay, but there's two kinds of pins. You're talking about like a pin cushion and like a pin.

[B]

They're both spelled P I, N. Yeah.

[A]

Check it, bitch. P, E, N is the kind you write with.

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

Personalized identification number.

[B]

Personal identification number.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Yeah. What? Nope. Who lives? Okay. What's Mario's brother's name?

[A]

Luigi.

[B]

Good, I'm glad.

[A]

You their brother and sister?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Are they brothers, I meant?

[B]

Yeah, they're brothers. You didn't know that?

[A]

No. I thought they were just friends.

[B]

Let me tell you how dumb my chat is. What color is Shrek? That's what it wants me to ask.

[A]

Green. Get out of my swamp. More passion, more energy. Damn, you're dead over there.

[B]

Can you hum while holding your nose shut?

[A]

Hum if you want to suffocate and die. Yeah,

[B]

okay.

[A]

Oh, damn. That was some vibrations.

[B]

How many letters are in the Alphabet?

[A]

26.

[B]

How many seconds are in a minute?

[A]

60.

[B]

How many hours are in a week?

[A]

52. No. What the.

[B]

Riley, how many hours in a week?

[A]

120.

[B]

No.

[A]

24 hours in a day? 24 times 7? 144. Damn. I'm perplexed. Okay, hold up. 20. 20. 20. 20 is 120. It's 120. 20 is 140 plus 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12. 4 times 7 is 28. 168.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

That perplexed me. I can't believe I said five more days.

[B]

You're in a leap year.

[A]

There's 40 in a week.

[B]

How many days are in a leap year? 40 in a work week.

[A]

That's what I'm thinking of. How many days are in a leap year? 366.

[B]

What? What is frozen water called us? What color school buses?

[A]

Yellow.

[B]

How many wheels does tricycle have?

[A]

3.

[B]

How many zeros? And 1 million?

[A]

6.

[B]

What is the opposite of north?

[A]

South.

[B]

What shape is a stop sign?

[A]

Octagon.

[B]

Yeah, that was the lightning round. Could you imagine not knowing any of that?

[A]

I feel like I need to go on Fast Money. I want to go. Okay. This is my official petition to go on Family Feud. Okay. I want to go on Family Feud.

[B]

Would you do good, you think?

[A]

Yeah. Me and you. And who else will go?

[B]

Nanny Linda and Dee Dee.

[A]

Nanny Linda, Dee Dee.

[B]

No, DeeDee needs to go on. What's it called?

[A]

My Nonna is good at all of them. My Nonna could answer every damn pleasant wheel of fortune with her eyes closed. She'll sit in the. If they're not watching Gaither gospel hour,

[B]

they are watching Gloria Gaither wrote the bread back chemical.

[A]

She sure did. And nana and papa sitting. Sing them all day in the. In the church.

[B]

Okay, are you ready for bloodline or not? Bloodline.

[A]

We're gonna get in to bloodline banter.

[B]

You just said we're gonna get into bloodline banter. Oh,

[A]

we're gonna get into cousin council. Cousin council is brought to you by Morgan and Morgan. This is a paid advertisement.

[B]

Yes, it is. For the people.

[A]

Go to for the people.com banter and they will fight hard for you.

[B]

Okay, let's get started.

[A]

Let's get started. Let's get started. Shout out Amanda Meadows. Trailer trash Charlene.

[B]

Trailer trash.

[A]

I was singing trailer trash Jamie Trailer park Charlene.

[B]

Okay, let's get started.

[A]

Okay, let's get started. All right, everybody, first up on the docket, case number what, 947 to 20B.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

How do you feel about swingers?

[B]

That's it?

[A]

Yep.

[B]

I don't agree with it.

[A]

I don't agree with it. But you know what? As long as you are doing what you want to do in the confines of your home and everything you're doing is legal, I don't care what you do.

[B]

I agree with that. I agree with that sentiment.

[A]

Hang the pineapple upside down.

[B]

Who lives in a pineapple?

[A]

Under the SpongeBob swing pants. But I will say, if you go

[B]

on a cruise, expect it.

[A]

Do not take a magnet to hang on your door that you're a swinger because the cruise line will make you take it off. I've ran into many swingers on a cruise ship.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Any of them try to get you?

[A]

No. Thank God. No.

[B]

I'm not for me. But you know what? I don't want to yuck your yum.

[A]

You want to swing, then as long as you're not doing anything that harms a child or an animal or another person and you're with a consenting adult or adults swing. You know what? Batter, batter, batter, swing.

[B]

The only swinging I'm doing is on the porch.

[A]

Just a swinging, swinging. You don't even get that reference.

[B]

Oh, Charlotte, she's. Oh, I know.

[A]

Ex. When they sang Scotty McCre actually sang

[B]

that on American Idol.

[A]

The swing just.

[B]

Okay, let me find one.

[A]

I'm proud of you for that. Okay. Will you look for that next one? I've got one more.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This is from Kenzie. I hooked up with a guy years ago after leaving the bar. We had drinks, and it Turned into a one night stand. A year later I met my husband and we have lived a happy healthy marriage ever since. Congratulations. We went to his family Christmas last year and his cousin walks in. Turns out it's the guy I hooked up with. Do I tell him or. No. We haven't talked other than in passing and it feels weird.

[B]

Can you recap summarize that for me?

[A]

So basically she had at one night stand with this a year ago. Later she met who is now her

[B]

husband and it was.

[A]

She went to his family Christmas last year and the cousin walks in and the cousin is a guy she hooked up with a year ago.

[B]

I feel like it could be way worse.

[A]

It could be way worse. I don't know that you should tell him or not.

[B]

I don't think you should.

[A]

I mean I, I would, I wouldn't want like if it happened to me, I wouldn't want to find out years later and then you not have told me.

[B]

Very true.

[A]

But I feel like it's going to be a problem. Fishy.

[B]

Very true.

[A]

You should be like hey, I, I didn't realize that like that was your cousin because it's the first time I've ever seen him in this vicinity. But I just want to let you know a year ago like we hooked

[B]

up after that the bar blame it

[A]

on the alcohol and you're better just hop him up a little bit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, there you go.

[B]

Like I can't believe I touched your cousin with a ten foot pole.

[A]

Oh my gosh. I would have never done that.

[B]

No, I don't think it's.

[A]

I mean, no, I would say something. I would just be like this happened.

[B]

Oh, so you would say something.

[A]

I would say something cuz it's fishy if you don't. If he finds out later cuz the cousin told him then he's going to be like what? Like she didn't tell me that.

[B]

True.

[A]

That looks suspicious.

[B]

Honesty is the best policy I guess. No liabilities in this courthouse.

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay, I think I have one. I've not read it yet.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But the first thing says so I'm going stay anonymous. I've literally not read this. So it's just the first email I popped up. Okay, this may be all over the place. Me and my boyfriend have been together for going on four years. We got pregnant on year two and lost the baby. I have been struggling with it ever since. His family hasn't even yet been sorry. His family has yet to been supportive all with me or him. His sister had a baby a Few minutes months after I lost hours. She's constantly throwing the baby up on my face. I said something to him and he tells me not to worry. Like they can see my future with all being said, we're getting married and I'm waiting to get them married on. I'm waiting to get married on vacation with my family and not tell his family. He's okay with it. Okay, this is where I'm getting a little lost. He had nothing to do with them much anymore. Is it wrong for. For us not to tell them and then have a wedding for everyone when we get back from vacation?

[A]

So they get married.

[B]

Yeah. On vacation and they don't want anybody. Yeah, they don't really want to tell them. I wouldn't tell nobody.

[A]

I wouldn't tell nobody either. And you know what? The sister in law for rubbing that baby in your face.

[B]

I would kick her straight out of the.

[A]

Yeah, I wouldn't put up with that. And he shouldn't put up with that either. And he should. You need to tell him to get his family in check or I would end up in the busted paper and would.

[B]

Yeah, well, there's that. I do think you should have a wedding though. On vacation, separate from all them.

[A]

Listen, blood.

[B]

And whenever you get back to have a, a, a separate wedding, just.

[A]

You don't even got to invite them. Just because you're blood don't mean your family.

[B]

Amen.

[A]

So there's no need for you to feel obligated to invite them to anything. You do what you want to do. And if they don't like.

[B]

And if that sister in law, they

[A]

should have thought about their actions.

[B]

If that sister in law says one

[A]

more thing and sue her. Yeah, maybe Morgan and Morgan can help with that. I don't think so, but they might be able to.

[B]

Yeah. Or just alrighty.

[A]

Well, we hope you all have enjoyed. Make sure you are following us on all of our social pages even if you don't listen. We're gonna drop the Apple podcast and all that down below. Go give us a follow on Apple podcast. It helps us out for sure. I hope you all have a great day.

[B]

Follow us on all the socials. We'll talk to you later. Love you. By.