Bloodline Banter
Episode: Poop Fumes in the Mouth Wash
Date: May 7, 2026
Hosts: Riley and Landon (with guest Kirsten, off camera)
Podcast: Bloodline Banter (2M Media Group)
Overview
In this rollicking, off-the-cuff episode, Riley and Landon—joined by their friend Kirsten—dive into a whirlwind of travel mishaps, hygiene debates, and laugh-out-loud personal stories. They offer their usual blend of unfiltered banter, southern-tinged humor, and conversational tangents, all while sharing memorable adventures from their recent trip to Texas, concert experiences, and thoughts on everything from sleep habits to whether giving kids cell phones is a mistake. This episode also features their "Cousin Council" advice segment, tackling listeners’ questions on jobs, relationships, and daydreams.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. New Podcast Setup & Transition (00:00–01:00)
- No intro or typical cousin council video; set is new, described as "bougie"—evokes feelings of luxury and "Biltmore Estate" vibes.
- Working through transition but promising normalcy will return soon.
2. Sleep Struggles & Travel Hangovers (01:00–03:10)
- Sleep Issues:
- Floor-to-ceiling windows and no curtains mean waking up too early.
- Riley: “All you can see is a damn 2 o'clock… in my damn bedroom at 6:30 in the morning.” (00:41)
- Sleep tracking: Sleep scores of 75 (Riley), 55 (Landon)—both suffering from bad nights, largely due to travel and late-night events.
- Kirsten is present, and her score is referenced.
- Rock the Country (Concert):
- Late concert night, minimal sleep before early flight.
- “My aura ring did not even track my sleep. An hour and 20 minutes. It said log your nap.” — Riley (02:29)
3. Bathroom Humor & Buc-ee's Bathrooms (01:37–02:29)
- Landon’s travel-induced GI disasters: Stops to go to the bathroom FOUR times en route to the airport.
- Texan Buc-ee's: Compared with local Buc-ee's, noting how huge, yet underwhelming they are in Texas.
- “I would eat a brisket on the board off the Bucky's bathroom floor. Okay, that's how clean and pristine.” — Riley (02:16)
4. Waffle Obsession & Flour Sponsorship (03:04–04:32)
- Landon made the “best damn waffle” of his life.
- Comedic endorsements for "Sunrise Flower Waffle mix":
- “It will make you shout glory hallelujah.” — Landon (03:30)
- Taste descriptions (“melts in your mouth”, “makes you want to slap your mama…”)
- Discussion of needing different flours for baking, confusion at Walmart.
5. Airport Antics & Flying Woes (04:42–08:14)
- Riley hates airports except for people-watching; TSA agents are described as “the most miserable people…”
- “My bag is sick and tired of getting a damn MRI every time I want to travel.” — Riley (05:07)
- Plane jokes: Old aircraft with “square” windows, compared to historical planes.
- “That plane was older than Methuselah. Amelia Earhart flew that son of a bitch.” — Riley (06:41)
- Turbulence was extreme and hunger rampant.
- Landon deals with unpleasant smells from his neighbor (“my mom beside me totally shit herself. That's all I smell all day.”) (08:10)
6. People Watching & Irritating Co-Travellers (08:14–11:42)
- Observation of a “5-star general” type passenger eating “damn granola and pumpkin seed”— “no wonder why you’re depressed.”
- On flight back, stuck near a robotics team: Overheard debates about hand-washing in the shower, body odor complaints.
- “You need to be more concerned about washing your ass in the shower.” — Riley (09:34)
- Interactions with a self-proclaimed orthodontist parent with suspect dental hygiene:
- “If she would have bit me, I would have needed a tetanus shot.” — Landon (11:16)
7. More Travel Mishaps (11:42–13:02)
- Wild bus ride to rental car center.
- Extra charges for mud left in rental car (“We didn’t really have a choice…”)
- Both hosts defend not clearing out the car due to tight travel schedule.
8. Bathroom Etiquette & "Poop Fumes in the Mouth Wash" (13:19–14:21)
- Landon says Riley should leave the hotel room to use the restroom (“go to the lobby, bitch, I'm paying for this room…”)
- Riley attempts to mask odor by pouring LISTERINE in the toilet:
- “I didn't want my poop to stink so I poured [Listerine] at the toilet.” — Riley (13:54)
- “I threw that Listerine away. You don't want your poop fumes coming up on my Listerine bottle.” — Landon (14:21)
9. Packing, Toiletry Habits & Louis Vuitton Flex (15:00–16:15)
- The saga of forgetting personal care items, only to discover them in a different bag compartment.
- Riley’s joy at new Louis Vuitton duffel bag—airline staff never ask to check it for fear of damaging luxury luggage.
10. Uber Drivers & Oversharing (16:15–18:00)
- Host’s mixed feelings about Uber drivers talking too much.
- Ruth Ann, their latest Uber, is friendly to the extreme, asking personal questions and knowing the ins and outs of their apartment maintenance staff.
11. Concert Recap: Kid Rock, Ross Smith’s Granny Crowd Surf (18:16–19:34)
- Rock the Country highlighted—Kid Rock’s high-energy performance.
- World record moment: Ross Smith’s 99-year-old grandmother crowd-surfed.
- “This 99 year old woman crowd surfed around. I mean, she was right under me…” — Landon (18:55)
- “Carrying a Coca Cola. That was the most American I’ve ever seen.” — Riley (19:13)
12. Random Food Tangents (19:34–22:16)
- Riley craves Din Tai Fung dumplings after seeing them on TikTok, spends $70 on Asian takeout after Doordash mishap.
- Hulk Hogan death confirmed (July 24, 2025), with banter about his physique.
- Landon’s Pizza Hut order: He hates marinara and subs in BBQ or Alfredo sauce.
- “Marinara is the most God awful, sinful thing you could ever put in your mouth.” — Landon (21:53)
13. Podcast Purpose, Humor & Audience Reflection (23:43–24:44)
- Riley: “We’re not influencing anything…if you are here for anything other than pure entertainment, you have come to the wrong spot.”
- Landon: “They’re getting a giggle. Laughter is the best medicine.”
14. Cars, Adulting, and AT&T Rants (24:44–26:20; 30:03–31:03)
- Landon talks about his electric car, forgetting to turn off rental’s engine.
- Riley would “rather pitch a tent” than go back to college, and is annoyed by lack of cell service:
- “I have AT&T. So I could walk up into an AT&T and I still wouldn't be able to make a phone call.” (30:03)
15. Childhood Phones & Parenting Reflections (32:14–36:07)
- The hosts reflect on getting phones as kids (third or fourth grade) and what they’d do for their own kids in 2026.
- Opinion: Would give a child a limited/minutes-only phone to avoid Internet pitfalls.
- “When children get unbridled access to the Internet, that's when the world went to [shit].” — Riley (36:26)
16. Cousin Council: Advice Segment (39:03–43:09)
- Content Creation as a Career:
- “Don’t quit your 9-to-5…because we both did. And by the grace of God, it worked out for us. But it don't work that way for everybody.” — Riley (40:29)
- Social media creation is hard work and “so much more than just making a video.”
- Relationship Boredom:
- Advice: “Your relationship is only as boring as you make it.” — Riley (41:52)
- “Women nowadays want toxic. … The toxic. Don’t they, too?” — Landon (42:23)
- Imaginary Arguments & Daydreams:
- Both regularly play out arguments, awards, and scenarios in their heads.
- “I will have arguments with my shower head.” — Riley (44:18)
- Kirsten brings up that Riley jumps out of bed in his sleep; Riley describes wild dreams.
Notable Quotes & Moments
- On Bad Sleep:
- “It's been hell. Hell fire and brimstones.” — Riley & Landon (03:00–03:04)
- On Buc-ee’s Cleanliness:
- “I would eat a brisket on the board off the Bucky’s bathroom floor. That’s how clean and pristine.” — Riley (02:16)
- On Old Planes:
- “That plane was older than Methuselah. Amelia Earhart flew that son of a bitch.” — Riley (06:41)
- On Flight Neighbors:
- "No wonder why you’re depressed. You’re eating [granola and pumpkin seed]. That's negative calories. Like what? Eat a damn Snickers.” — Riley (08:33)
- On ‘Poop Fumes in the Mouth Wash’:
- "I didn't want my poop to stink so I poured [Listerine] at the toilet." — Riley (13:54)
- Relationships:
- "Your relationship is only as boring as you make it." — Riley (41:52)
- On Making up Daydreams:
- "Every night, I make up fake scenarios in my head. Arguments, interviews, winning awards. Is this normal?" — Listener (43:47)
- “I will have arguments with my shower head.” — Riley (44:18)
Memorable Tangents & Humor
- Arguments about toilet etiquette and how to properly mask odors, including Listerine being poured in the toilet.
- Musings on American Idol and Dancing With the Stars daydreams.
- Ongoing rants about cell service, rental cars, and the pitfalls of having an “old” iPhone.
- Wild dreams (ostrich riding, cruise ship whales) and sleep habits (optimal hotel room temp is a constant debate).
- Wistful nostalgia for Game Boys, DS, Farmville, and classic mobile games.
Important Segment Timestamps
- Bad sleep & travel chaos: 00:36–03:10
- Buc-ee’s bathroom discussion: 01:38–02:29
- Airport & TSA rants: 04:48–05:28
- Old plane/flight neighbor complaints: 06:41–09:06
- Robotics team/shower hand-washing debate: 09:12–10:17
- Listerine-in-toilet story (“Poop fumes”): 13:54–14:23
- Relationship advice segment: 41:30–43:09
- Imagined arguments/daydreams: 43:47–45:44
Takeaway
“Poop Fumes in the Mouth Wash” is a prime example of Bloodline Banter’s signature irreverence—funny, relatable, and deeply unfiltered. Riley and Landon deliver a Southern-fried, shameless, and totally entertaining look at life's oddities: from the mud and mayhem of concert travel, to the strange logic of hotel bathrooms, and the hilarity of making up imaginary beef with your shower head. The only thing you’ll likely learn is that laughter really is the best medicine.
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