The Last Supper Better Have Fried Chicken

Summary

Bloodline Banter – “The Last Supper Better Have Fried Chicken”

Podcast: Bloodline Banter
Host: 2M Media Group
Episode Date: July 2, 2026

---

Episode Overview

In this lively, free-wheeling episode, Riley and Landon riff on everything from sleep scores and brunch cravings to their favorite (and least favorite) cocktails, food scandals at Walmart, and the Southern fantasy of the Last Supper complete with collard greens and Hidden Valley Ranch. The pair dives deep into food preferences, the randomness of U.S. constitutional amendments, and why their chemistry makes the show addictive, all served with their trademark blend of brutal honesty and Southern wit.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Sleep Scores and Mornings (00:00–00:33)

• Landon opens with a sleepy confession: “What was your sleep score?” (00:10)
• Riley scored a 71 ("That's a C!"), while Landon bottomed out at 53, blaming it on last night’s vodka.
• Sparks the running banter about health and personal habits.

Drink Preferences – Vodka Talk (00:34–03:32)

• Landon details his devotion to vodka, straight and in martinis. Riley:

  “If anybody drinks a dirty martini, I don't trust you, because that is salad dressing.” (01:19)

• The debate over olives (esp. blue cheese stuffed) and what makes the perfect martini.
• Soda water and Waterloo get discussed as mixer upgrades.

Nashville Living & Brunch Cravings (03:35–06:32)

• Nashville lifestyle (“We live in Nashville, that just makes us sound like more alcoholics.” 03:44).
• Discussion about staying on track with eating, weight, and health struggles—peppered with self-deprecation and spiritual asides.
  • Riley: “He said, your free will doesn't mean to stuff your face.” (04:29)
• Odes to metropolitan apartment security culture:

  “If you come up in my apartment complex uninvited, you were getting shot. And that's not a threat. That is a promise.” (05:31)

Scanning at Walmart & Food Hygiene Nightmares (09:50–11:14)

• Tales from Walmart: from employees scratching themselves to wild kids.
• Hygiene warnings:

  “Brenda has been digging for gold.” (10:21)

Food Debates: Wings, Cereal, and Chick-fil-A (11:49–16:17)

• DoorDash addiction: “What are you gonna doordash? Wingstop, Landon. You always doordash that.” (11:57)
• Cereal Confessions:
  • Riley and Landon list their favorite cereals—Frosted Flakes, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Fruity Pebbles, no marshmallows!
• Chick-fil-A saga:
  • “Who the fuck would complain about that? … If they gave me a fried nugget, I would take that as a sign I wasn't meant to eat grilled.” (14:50)

The Last Supper—Southern Style (16:17–19:23)

• Fantasizing about the biblical Last Supper:

  "If fried chicken's not there, I won't do anything." (17:47, Landon)
  "Hidden Valley Ranch. It's going to be hidden in the valley." (17:52)

• Dream menu includes mashed potatoes, macaroni, collard greens, cornbread, carrot cake—calories don’t count in heaven!
• “We'll probably eat out of the Garden of Yosemite.” (18:53) – mispronunciation jokes continue their signature tone.

Constitution Comedy Hour (20:55–27:46)

• Riley and Landon attempt to remember the Bill of Rights with much confusion, jokes, and Googling:

  “Do I look like Alexander Hamilton?” (23:52) “No, I don’t. But you’re right.” (24:51, on Thomas Edison inventing the light bulb)

• Rant about income tax and government debt:

  “If our country had a credit score, it’d be fucking interesting. 430, 400...” (26:01) “Whatever President gets a rid of the income tax. I'll vote to make you the king.” (26:49)

Random Rambles – Groceries, Solo Beach Trips, Food Scans (28:02–39:36)

• DoorDash logistics, cereal for dinner, and prepping for a solo beach vacation.
• Riley struggles with the idea of vacationing for less than a full week; Landon claims three days at the beach is plenty.
• The two hype up the Olive food and product scanner app, swapping scores and sharing the thrill—and pitfalls—of newfound health consciousness:

  “I love to go in and look at something that I think is really good for me...and then it tells me that I'm gonna grow three extra toes and have cancer of the backbone.” (34:12)

Dorito Wars & Snacking (36:19–38:01)

• Dorito varieties are discussed (red, blue, purple); naked Doritos controversy—when did they launch?
• Doritos dipped in cheese dip become a surprising delight.

Self-Awareness & Duo Dynamics (40:01–41:20)

• Mutual recognition of their comedic power as a duo:

  “Riley's not as funny by himself as he is with me in his presence.” (40:16, Landon)

---

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “If fried chicken's not there [at the Last Supper], I won't do anything.” (17:47, Landon)
• “If you come up in my apartment complex uninvited, you were getting shot. And that's not a threat. That is a promise.” (05:31, Landon)
• “Do I look like Alexander Hamilton?” (23:52, Riley)
• “I'm addicted to the grocery store.” (30:28, Riley)
• On content creator origin stories:

  “I posted a video one time about me drinking Starbucks coffee ... and it being a natural ... liability.” (55:54, Riley)

• On why people repost vague TikToks:

  “If the shoe fits, then wear that up and walk a mile in it. ... Walk four miles in it.” (09:23, Landon)

---

Notable Segments

[41:20+] Bloodline Brain Check

• The hosts quiz each other with trivia (“What is the only continent with no active volcanoes?” Answer: Australia [42:42]) and get hilariously wrong and right answers, complete with side commentary.

[53:19+] Cousin Council

• Listener letters dissected with sass and advice:
  • “Kylie says, I've been dating my boyfriend for about two years and he only showers about once a week. He stinks.”
  • Their advice? “Sue him.” (54:00)
  • Grandma’s refusal to use turn signals: “It’s nobody’s business where she’s going.” (54:39)
  • Content creation origin stories.

---

Tone & Language

The episode maintains an energetic, irreverent, and conversational tone. Riley and Landon’s chemistry shines as they volley between affection, playful insults, Southern analogies, and rants about everything from health fads to constitutional trivia.

---

Episode Recap by Timestamp

• 00:00–03:32: Sleep, health, and vodka debates
• 03:33–06:32: Nashville brunch plans, eating habits, and apartment security
• 09:50–11:14: Walmart stories; food hygiene fears
• 11:49–16:17: DoorDash, cereal discourse, and Chick-fil-A confessions
• 16:17–19:23: The southern Last Supper fantasy menu
• 20:55–27:46: Hilarious U.S. Constitution rundown & government rants
• 28:02–39:36: Grocery obsessions, solo trips, and food scanner fun
• 41:20–53:19: “Bloodline Brain Check”—trivia and stumpers
• 53:19–56:41: “Cousin Council”—listener advice, personal stories
• Rest of episode: Closing banter, episode wrap-up

---

Bottom Line

This episode is a quintessential Bloodline Banter experience: southern sass, hilarious personal disclosures, unexpected wisdom, and food talk woven into an hour of unfiltered friendship. Whether musing on their Last Supper menu or fighting over cereal, Riley and Landon keep things loud, real, and laugh-out-loud funny.

Transcript

[A]

Hello, everybody. Welcome back to bloodline banter. I'm Riley.

[B]

And I'm Landon. So, well, how'd you sleep?

[A]

I slept okay. Okay, not amazing.

[B]

What was your sleep score?

[A]

71.

[B]

Hey, it was above 70. That's a C. What was yours? 53.

[A]

Landon.

[B]

And mine was telling me that I was showing minor signs of.

[A]

Well, get the hell away from me, bitch, because I ain't trying to be sick.

[B]

Minor symptoms of something.

[A]

Minor signs of strain. Get away from me because I drank last night.

[B]

But that's. Besides, what do you talk about that later?

[A]

What'd you drink?

[B]

Vodka. We can talk about later, though.

[A]

Do we need to have a. A.

[B]

No, we don't need to have aaa,

[A]

but Landon can take straight shots of vodka and not make a face. Okay, let's talk about that.

[B]

Let's talk about that. Okay.

[A]

Right out the gate. Yeah.

[B]

I like. I don't say I like the taste of vodka, but like, it's just my drink of choice.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And I feel like when you've drank so much of it, and I don't want to say I've drink so much of it, but like, when you drink.

[A]

Hi, my name is Riley.

[B]

It's not like that, but that's my drink of choice when I go out to the bars, when I go out with my friends, when I drink at home, it's always vodka.

[A]

Vodka, spirit of choice. But I mix it with things.

[B]

I mean, I do too. Like espresso martini has vodka in it. You know, lemon drop martini, vodka, dirty martini. Vodka.

[A]

Yeah. If anybody drinks a dirty martini, I don't trust you, because that is salad dressing.

[B]

Mine's definitely awful. You would hate to know how I ordered my vodka or my dirty martini.

[A]

I know how you order your dirty martinis. Landon gets straight vodka with three olives on a stick.

[B]

It's good. Blue cheese, stuffed olives.

[A]

My two nightmares mixed into one thing. Do not give me no damn blue cheese. Do not give me no damn olive. Both taste like.

[B]

I mean, I'll do like a pimento stuff. Olive.

[A]

No, I'll dip them into cheese.

[B]

I'll do that too, but no olive. Raleigh. It's good because the blue cheese and like the olive, it cuts the alcohol whenever you drink a sip and then take a little bite at the olive. Like, don't put no juice. I don't want to drink no nasty ass pond water. I want my to be clear if I'm drinking a dirty martini.

[A]

I've been with you. When you've ordered an extra dirty martini, don't act like you don't like the on the skewer?

[B]

No.

[A]

Used to you would order an extra dirty martini.

[B]

Maybe back in my prime days where I was just learning to lock a

[A]

dirty 21, not 22.

[B]

When I was probably 18 and not 21.

[A]

Okay, so we're not going to talk about that, but yeah.

[B]

So what is your drink of choice?

[A]

A vodka soda with three limes. Really? Yeah.

[B]

That's very low calorie, it sounds like.

[A]

Why do you think that's my drink of choice? Trying to unbake this back.

[B]

What is it you put.

[A]

It tastes water in there.

[B]

You put soda water.

[A]

It tastes like you hooked up jumper cables to vodka with a touch of.

[B]

And then it makes you feel like you hooked up jumper cables to your nipples.

[A]

The lime cuts the alcohol so you can't really taste it that much.

[B]

Well, it's not the alcohol that tastes bad. It's that nasty ass soda water.

[A]

No, I can drink the soda water. It's the lime. It's the vodka.

[B]

Because you're like, I don't with soda water.

[A]

I used to not.

[B]

But like a Lacroix. A Lacroix.

[A]

Oh, I do. I used to not. I used to on people who did.

[B]

But I tell you, there is a brand of soda water or like whatever it's called that I actually do like, and it's Waterloo.

[A]

Oh, yeah. They are good.

[B]

It's more flavorful. I like a Waterloo.

[A]

It's nspr.

[B]

I know. And it's actually good.

[A]

Yeah, it's good.

[B]

It is anyways.

[A]

But yeah, a vodka.

[B]

What do you call that?

[A]

Vodka tonic.

[B]

People are gonna think we're alcoholics. Well, but we live in Nashville.

[A]

That. That just makes us sound like more alcoholics. I'm not an alcoholic. I just drink to. I mean socially drink. But what do you got going on the rest today?

[B]

I don't think I have anything today. I'm probably gonna eat after this.

[A]

And then I was thinking that too.

[B]

What do you feel like you're won't eat?

[A]

Something brunchy.

[B]

Like a first watch moment. Yeah, but I don't want to go there.

[A]

Okay. Where do you want to go?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

But you do want to go somewhere, right?

[B]

I do want to go somewhere, but I don't know where.

[A]

We can go wherever you want to go. As long as I can eat semi healthy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Because I'm trying to rein it back in because my tits are getting bigger

[B]

and you're on your weight loss journey and you've gained a little bit of weight.

[A]

I need to get it back down.

[B]

And you will. You will get it. You give it to God.

[A]

Amen. I have.

[B]

And what he tell?

[A]

Quit eating. He said, your free will doesn't mean to stuff your face. I eat when I'm happy. I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I'm depressed, ate when I'm joyful to celebrate.

[B]

So maybe we should find something in replacement of eating.

[A]

Like what?

[B]

I don't know. Because I eat when I'm sad, when I'm happy, when I'm depressed. But I was just blessed with a high metabolism. But it is starting to slow down, which is why I've hit the gym.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I've gained 10 pounds since I've moved to Nashville.

[A]

Okay, well, you moved to Nashville seven months ago, but that's a lot. We have lived here for eight months.

[B]

How does that make you feel?

[A]

That's actually crazy to me because I feel like it's been two weeks, and I love it.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

I moved here November 1st.

[B]

When did I move here? A week before that.

[A]

October 21st, I think.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I've lived here today's.

[B]

Well, we don't have to give them exact dates.

[A]

Today's July 2nd.

[B]

Somebody asked the other day. They were like, you post on your Snapchat and you post this and you post that. Like, where you live. Like, that's dangerous. I got news for you. If you come up in my apartment complex uninvited, you were getting shot. And that's not a threat. That is a promise.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

That is a promise. Would you not.

[A]

Yeah. Criminal, meet Glock. Yeah, he's not very nice.

[B]

Nuh. And. And that's just how it goes. But you also have to have, like, a code to get in my apartment. Front door, you got to have a code to get up the elevator. You got to have a code to get to the damn floor that I live on. Also, y' all don't know what floor I live on. Some guy in the elevator asked me the other day what floor I lived on. I told him, number two.

[A]

Why he ask you that?

[B]

Weird. He was trying to, like, be buddies and.

[A]

Hell yeah.

[B]

What floor you live on? I said, number two. I don't live on two.

[A]

We've actually said several times where. What floors we live on on the podcast.

[B]

So I live on 11 now.

[A]

Okay. He moved last week. Anyways. Yeah. I'm really feeling a brunch moment because I. I some overnight oats this morning. They were good, but you're on an overnight oat kick. I am. I started watching some woman on TikTok. And she made them and it made me want them. So I did. I started.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Landon and I are drinking champagne on the pod today just because it makes her episodes go smoother. And one thing I've started doing before I have alcohol is having a Z Biotics Probiotic Pre Alcohol Drink. It is the world's first genetically engineered probiotic drink designed to tackle rough mornings after drinking. Here's how it works. Whenever you take a drink, according to Zebiotics, it's a buildup of that byproduct, not dehydration, that is responsible for making you feel. Ugh. After drinking Zebiotics Pre Alcohol produces an enzyme that helps to break that byproduct down. The key is making Zebiotics your very first drink of the night. Our reviewers can go to zebiotics.com forward/banter for 15 off your order. That is zebiotics.com forward slash banter for 15 off.

[B]

And sometimes you ain't even got to have one at night. I'll have one in the morning.

[A]

You know what?

[B]

Before you drink your champagne, I'll drink to that.

[A]

Do you know what I cannot stand?

[B]

What?

[A]

Whenever someone texts you and I'm speaking to you directly when I. When I refer to this and they say, I have to tell you something or we need to talk, and then

[B]

I'll not say that to you in a long time.

[A]

But you have before. All of a sudden, they're nowhere to be found.

[B]

I do that all the time.

[A]

Fuck that. With my friends, that is.

[B]

And my people.

[A]

That is actually insane.

[B]

It's torment.

[A]

Yeah, it is. Why would you do that to someone?

[B]

I've not done it to you in a long time.

[A]

Okay, but why would you do it to anybody? I feel for them. Not even know who you're doing it to.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I'm just saying, like you just said you did it.

[B]

I've learned and grown from that.

[A]

But also, damn, I sure hope when

[B]

I text you and say, let's talk or I have to tell you something, I tell you right away, we're talking about those bitches that will text and be like, hey, I have to tell you something and leave you on deliver for damn eight hours.

[A]

If you do that, just know that there is a special place in hell

[B]

for you sitting by the right hand of the devil.

[A]

Okay, I wasn't going to say that. But you know what? That'll preach. Because I can't stand someone who does not want to have the conversation when they bring it up. If you don't have the time, the energy or the effort to talk to me about something. When you bring it up, don't text me, don't talk to me, don't even say that. You know me.

[B]

It really does piss me off and I've just gotten to where I say what I have to say. You know what I've also learned, you know, whenever like there's a tick tock or something and it's like having to do with the situation you're dealing with and people are in the comments saying like silent repost.

[A]

Oh, I'm going to repost that shit.

[B]

Or wish I could repost this or should I send it to them? I send it.

[A]

I do, I send it.

[B]

I sent two yesterday.

[A]

You know what? I've got to where I repost and if people think it's about them, I say if the shoe fits, then wear that up and walk a mile in it. Don't just wear three miles, walk in

[B]

it, Walk four miles in it.

[A]

Walk in the damn thing. But you know what, if you have done something to me where you think it could be about you, then that's your problem.

[B]

True words have never been spoken. But I've just gotten to where I sent it. I send it, send it, do it. I do.

[A]

What is the craziest thing you have ever seen in Walmart?

[B]

I was in there a couple weeks or not a couple weeks ago, like a week ago and somebody scratched their ass and then grabbed a loaf of bread. But like that's not really crazy. I think the craziest situation I've watched

[A]

someone scratch their ass that worked there on the online grocery pickup and then shop through produce. So before you go online grocery pickup at any restaurant, you may want to know what you're getting yourself into because Brenda has been digging for gold.

[B]

And if you don't wash your produce, this is your sign. Do you have another one of them? One more or alpen can I have stuck Alpine? If you don't sponsor the podcast you should, you should. Anyways,

[A]

what do you want to talk about?

[B]

Craziest thing I've ever seen in the Walmart though is probably when parents don't keep their kids on a leash and well that's every. I was in there and I was getting a wagon a couple months ago and literal kids were like kicking around soccer balls and if I done that in the Walmart I would make sure I was down an aisle that like nobody was on or something. No, they were just kicking. Using my buggy as a obstacle on the field. Yeah, yeah. And I yelled at him. I did.

[A]

Someone commented on my Facebook the other day and was like, hey, I'm so sorry my dad almost ran you over the other day in Walmart. I just wanted to let you know that he's kind of losing his mind.

[B]

Did he have to mention?

[A]

I was like, you know, it's okay, I didn't die.

[B]

I almost ran you over, like in the car.

[A]

I don't remember that, actually. I guess with this buggy in the Walmart, but I don't remember that. But I said, it's okay. I didn't die. But. What do you want to talk about?

[B]

What do you want to talk about?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Do you have any pressing issues that are on your mind? I feel like we always have pressing, pressing issues.

[A]

I'm hungry.

[B]

We're always hungry.

[A]

Well, you don't have to go there,

[B]

but I'm feeling a doordash moment tonight for supper because I don't have no groceries and I'm.

[A]

What are you gonna doordash Wingstop, Landon. You always doordash that.

[B]

It's just so good.

[A]

I've not had Wingstop in a minute.

[B]

Do you not like it?

[A]

I love it. I'm just trying to unbake my back.

[B]

Well, a wing can't be too unhealthy for you.

[A]

It can't be too healthy for you

[B]

either, but it's more healthy than it is unhealthy.

[A]

But I don't like a naked wing.

[B]

Would God rather you eat a wing or a bowl of cereal for dinner?

[A]

Well, he'd probably rather me eat like a chicken breast with asparagus if I was wanting to lose weight. But.

[B]

But go back to the drum wing or bowl of cereal or wing or.

[A]

You know, honestly, I think whatever. You have a bowl of cereal because, listen.

[B]

You would rather have a bowl of cereal, Landon.

[A]

I love cereal.

[B]

I ate three bowls of cereal.

[A]

Cereal is my guilty pleasure, man.

[B]

What's your favorite cereal? I have a line and I can take three of mine right off.

[A]

I want to say Cinnamon Toast Crunch because it's my favorite. It's one of my favorites. You know what? I've really gotten, and this is maturing. Let me finish. I've gotten to where I enjoy Frosted Flakes or Honey Nut Cheerios.

[B]

You've never had a Frosted Flake with a sliced up banana put in it?

[A]

I don't. I don't. With fruit in cereal. That's so dumb.

[B]

No, it's good.

[A]

Try it. I have.

[B]

You don't like it?

[A]

For real, I don't care for.

[B]

My top three are Fruity Pebbles, Cinnamon Toast Crunch and then Froot Loops. I think I have a Fruit Loop. They make Fruit Loops now. But the marshmallows in it.

[A]

I don't care for the marshmallows. I don't even like the marshmallows in Lucky Charms.

[B]

So you just like the charm? No flavor.

[A]

I just like the Lucky. I don't like the charm. You know what?

[B]

I buy those marshmallows. Those dehydrated marshmallows by the bag.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I put them in Fruity Pebbles, put them in Cinnamon Toast Crunch, put them in any kind of cereal.

[A]

I've never seen.

[B]

Dry them in Honey Nut Cheerios.

[A]

I love a Honey Nut Cheerio.

[B]

I do too.

[A]

I love any kind of cereal.

[B]

Let me tell you what I did

[A]

that you know what I don't like? What? And a lot of people do a Cocoa Crispy.

[B]

What is that?

[A]

Or a Cocoa Puff.

[B]

Oh, like the peanut butter ones?

[A]

No, those are Reese's.

[B]

I like a Reese's Puff.

[A]

I haven't had those in a minute.

[B]

What's a Cocoa Puff?

[A]

It's like a Trix, but they're chocolate.

[B]

I don't like that. I've never had it, but I don't like it. Let me tell you what I did the other day. I went to Chick fil a and I ordered a 12 count grilled nugget. And for whatever reason, the Chick fil A on 8th Avenue. Chick fil A the chick. I'm serious. On 8th Avenue. Can't get their together. And I never thought I would say that about a Chick fil a. But whoever the operator is of the Chick fil A on 8th Avenue needs to go back to church.

[A]

They do.

[B]

Get re baptized, ask the Lord to come into their heart and then try to be the operator of a Chick fil a man. Because I think that's the devil.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

It's something walking in sheep's clothing or whatever that goes.

[A]

Yes,

[B]

I ordered a 12 count grilled nugget and they gave me a fried nugget.

[A]

Who the fuck would complain about that? I'm not only a skinny bitch. Cause let me know if they give me a fried nugget. I would take that as a sign that I wasn't meant to eat. Grilled nuggets stink.

[B]

You know, I'm hitting the gym and, like, just trying to do better. So I was like, you know, not that I. Well, I need to do better. Like, I just want to get fit and toned. And work out, you know? But I was just thinking, grilled nugget make you feel better. They're good. And I got my thing and I got a fried nugget. So I waited till I got home and I put them in a glass bowl. I put a packet of ranch in it.

[A]

I remember seeing this on your packet

[B]

of buffalo and about a tablespoon of honey. And I know Chick fil a gives a packet of honey, but it was in that cardboard, so I couldn't shake it.

[A]

Cardboard.

[B]

The little did the fried nuggets come in?

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

I thought it wasn't in the plastic container where I could do it and shake it, you know, it would have spewed out.

[A]

That's why you asked for a salad container in Big Bactivities 101 when I used to be fatter and fat.

[B]

Well, I'm satisfied that the 8th Avenue wouldn't even give you the damn shirt off their back because they suck.

[A]

Okay, Well, I used to get a 12 count nugget, a large fry and a salad container. And I would put chick fil a sauce and ranch and shake it up. And then I would eat it like a salad.

[B]

And that was a healthy salad.

[A]

Any kind of salad's healthy enough.

[B]

12 count chicken nugget. Chick fil A is 40 grams of protein.

[A]

I know.

[B]

And it's fried in peanut butter.

[A]

Have you ever had the kale crunch salad?

[B]

I don't fuck with kale.

[A]

Oh, no. I don't either. But it's good. It's actually good. No, if you tried it, you'd like it. I promise. It's sweet. It's good.

[B]

I don't want a sweet salad.

[A]

Okay, but it's good. I'm just trying to tell you it's. It's not like. Because kale's bitter. You know what I could eat?

[B]

Collard greens.

[A]

Yes, I've been craving those. But you're gonna agree with me. But you're not going to want to go. 1230 Club.

[B]

I'm not going. But it is good.

[A]

The 1230 Club on Broadway makes me food. It's good next to the Assembly Sued. The words are hard. The assembly food Hall. It's probably gonna be at the Last Supper.

[B]

That is the Last Supper.

[A]

I mean, I honestly think when the

[B]

Lord comes, tell me this. Tell me the Last Supper.

[A]

What do you think about this? Him and the 12 disciples and all of us are gonna gather in the Honky Tonk Club and the Supper Club. That's what they're called. The second and the first floor.

[B]

And we're just gonna have. And on the upper floor, we're gonna speak in tongues.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Because that's what they do.

[A]

Lower four, we're gonna play banjos.

[B]

Yeah. What do you imagine the Last Supper to be like? What do you think? What kind of food do you think it's going to be?

[A]

A big grand table that's super long, and we're sitting on both sides of it. And Jesus is at the head of the table because he's the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And the Omega. The beginning and the end.

[B]

What will somebody preach?

[A]

We're probably going to have, like, collard greens, fried chicken.

[B]

If fried chicken's not there, I won't do anything.

[A]

But Hidden Valley Ranch.

[B]

Hidden Valley. It's going to be hidden in the valley.

[A]

Yes. Of the Lord.

[B]

And he's gonna go get it and prepare it for us.

[A]

He will. He will leave the one for the many.

[B]

And he will leave the craft behind.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Probably a good mashed potato and a baked potato and some good cheesy macaroni and cheese that.

[B]

And you know what?

[A]

We're not even cornbread. And calories don't count because we'll be in heaven.

[B]

And we won't even gain weight.

[A]

And we won't shed a tear if we do, because all tears shall be wiped away.

[B]

Jesus wept.

[A]

No, he didn't. Not at the Last Supper. Jesus praised. And I did, too. Well, somebody praised him. And we're gonna have green beans with ham pastry.

[B]

You know what else we're gonna have?

[A]

What?

[B]

Carrot cake. Ah, carrot cake.

[A]

That right there.

[B]

German chocolate.

[A]

My heart is fluttering.

[B]

We're gonna have all that.

[A]

My heart is going. Pitcher pattern.

[B]

You know what the best part of it is?

[A]

It's no calories.

[B]

If we don't have any of that, we won't even know it.

[A]

No, we won't. We'll probably eat out of the Garden of Yosemite.

[B]

We will. I can't wait to go to that tree that all the fruits grow.

[A]

Tree of Life. Yeah, I think.

[B]

I don't think that's what it's called.

[A]

I think that's what it's called, but I don't know.

[B]

But there's a tree up there.

[A]

I know. You don't eat the apple.

[B]

Not unless he tells you to.

[A]

Well, he told you not to.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. Unless he tells you to, you don't eat it.

[A]

And Eve did it. And the serpent told her we're preaching. The serpent told her it'd be okay, eat the apple, Eve. Eat that.

[B]

And he. And she ate it. And now that was the first sinner.

[A]

Then she brought sin into the world. And that's why you don't ever let the woman decide where you want to go.

[B]

And that's why we're bombing our rams. What the hell. I blame everything on Vladimir Len. Vladimir Zielinski.

[A]

You mean Vladimir Putin.

[B]

No, I mean Vladimir and Zelensky. Because there's the one who started all this. They decided to go. They decided to go to war.

[A]

And now everybody else went to war.

[B]

And you've got BB Net and Yahoo.

[A]

Oh, don't even talk about him.

[B]

He'll kill us.

[A]

Can we say this?

[B]

I'll say whatever I want, okay? I live in a concrete bunker.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Anyways, back on track.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I'm looking at that plant over there and it just makes me want a bigger plant for my apartment.

[A]

Do you even have a plant for your apartment?

[B]

That's fake. I got it at homegoods.

[A]

I was with you. Where's it at?

[B]

Beside my.

[A]

Damn. I'm sitting down in this chair. Hold on.

[B]

Me too. I sunk. We're going to have tech neck. You know, I've not at you for your tech neck in a long time.

[A]

Yeah, cuz you've got it.

[B]

What's your screen time?

[A]

I played the fifth and the sixth, probably all 27th.

[B]

All 27. Is there 27 or 28?

[A]

27, I think.

[B]

I think there's 27. What is the sixth amendment? I think that's the one that says that we like can house soldiers or something. Let's look.

[A]

Let's look at the amendments of the Constitution.

[B]

Let's go down all 10 and say which one we think the most important is.

[A]

I almost.

[B]

Let's go to 14.

[A]

I almost called those the Ten Commandments, but they're not. They're the Bill of Rights.

[B]

Yeah, the first 10.

[A]

What is number one?

[B]

Freedom of speech, Freedom, religion. Freedom of all the freedoms. Yeah.

[A]

Well, I want somebody to preach them.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What is the second?

[B]

Right to bear arms.

[A]

Okay. George Washington?

[B]

I don't know the third.

[A]

The number three is what I just said it.

[B]

Something about housing soldiers.

[A]

The quartering of the soldiers. They can't.

[B]

What does that say?

[A]

I don't know, something about they can't live in your house.

[B]

Well, they can live in my house if we're in war.

[A]

If they do, they got corner the

[B]

soldiers in my second bedroom.

[A]

If they do that.

[B]

If you protect me. Good.

[A]

If they do, they got to bring a quarter, I guess. What is the Fourth.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Unreasonable sergeant seizure.

[B]

Oh, I like that.

[A]

Can't be going through my.

[B]

No. Hell no. You better bring a warrant.

[A]

Jefferson said no bring a warrant. The fifth is you don't perjure yourself.

[B]

Oh, you played the fifth. I love.

[A]

Oh. The sixth is the right to a

[B]

speedy trial, and I like that.

[A]

The seventh is the jury trial. A jury of your peers.

[B]

You can't have a jury of your peers.

[A]

Yeah, you're. You are entitled to a jury of your peers.

[B]

I don't believe in that.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because I don't want my peers deciding my fate. Because they know me. I need to.

[A]

That's not how that works. They don't say. Okay, you follow Landon on TikTok. So we're gonna make you a juror. That. That's of the people in your. So, like, if you commit a crime in Atlanta, the people in Atlanta where you committed the crime are on the jury.

[B]

See, and I don't think that should be fair.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because I want somebody from like, Pennsylvania deciding my face.

[A]

Well, that's not how that works. Because you didn't clearly not crime in their.

[B]

I'm just saying I feel like there's a lot of biases or.

[A]

That's not even a word. It's 2026. There's biases in everything.

[B]

Yeah, I just feel the eighth is

[A]

accessory, fines, and cruel and unusual punishment. So we can't give you the death penalty for running a stop sign.

[B]

Thank God.

[A]

But you know what? I think the death penalty should be on the table for people who don't use the fucking blinker. You're right, because I don't want to total my damn car. Because your ass don't know how to drive.

[B]

Because Brenda put her blinker on at the last minute.

[A]

Or Brenda didn't put her blinker on at all.

[B]

She didn't because. And then you eat the ass into her car. And then it's our fault for not

[A]

having controlling too close behind or not

[B]

having control of the vehicle.

[A]

Hell no. It's Brenda's fault. She don't know how to damn drive.

[B]

But I drive a Tesla and it'll catch that.

[A]

Why don't I drive a Toyota? And that ain't that high class, but it lasts a long time.

[B]

But get you a dash cam.

[A]

I don't believe in that.

[B]

You don't believe in dash cams?

[A]

I don't know why. I just felt like that was a good thing to say. 9th is non emulated rights of retained by people. What the does that mean?

[B]

No earthly idea.

[A]

I am not. Do I look like Alexander Hamilton?

[B]

I thought you about said Alexander Graham Bell.

[A]

Him too.

[B]

What? Do you know what he did?

[A]

Invented the telephone.

[B]

No, I don't think he did. I think he invented the light ball.

[A]

No, the light bulb. No, he didn't. Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone.

[B]

You. You could be right. And I'm not saying you're right.

[A]

No, I'm right. What do you mean I could be? I couldn't be.

[B]

Let me search it. Who invented the telephone? Who invented light bulb then?

[A]

Thomas Edison, I think.

[B]

Well, I'm searching.

[A]

Well, I know the answer. You don't need to search. Have a little faith in me.

[B]

Alexander Graham Bell did invent the iPhone. Or not the iPhone.

[A]

He didn't invent the iPhone. Steve Jobs invented the iPhone.

[B]

He liked the bricks for the iPhone.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, the mortar.

[A]

His bricks weren't really.

[B]

So who invented the light bulb?

[A]

Thomas Edison. This bitch thinks I'm stupid.

[B]

No, I don't. But you're right.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I'll listen to you next time.

[A]

Okay, number 11 is suits against states. Don't know what the that means either. Number 12 is the election of the president and vice president. Whatever. 13 abolished the slaves.

[B]

That was very good. Abraham Lincoln did that. And he was a Republican.

[A]

Proclamation. We're not getting political.

[B]

We're not.

[A]

I'm just saying 15th was the right to vote, not denied by race. So anybody can vote.

[B]

Thank God.

[A]

16 was the income tax. I would like to abolish the out of that one.

[B]

The 16.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Income tax.

[A]

What the was the point in that one? It wasn't because the government is greedy bastards.

[B]

Because they got us in debt and they tried to figure out a way to get us out of it.

[A]

And we're in debt. We've been in debt since the helping nothing.

[B]

I mean, what the hell are we good for?

[A]

Nothing. Not yet.

[B]

What the hell is our tax dollars going to.

[A]

You know, I find it quite ironic that the government that is in $44 trillion worth of debt or however the fuck we are, has the audacity to

[B]

say let me take your money, you

[A]

give me a credit score. Oh, and tries to tell me that my credit score is 8, 800 or 720 or when I.

[B]

If our country had a credit score, it'd be fucking interesting. 430, 400 my ass to crazy.

[A]

We wouldn't even have one.

[B]

No, we'd be in the negative.

[A]

If the United States of America had an interest rate that they had to abide by, that should be 400% it would be but we're too busy paying for other country shit. Don't even get me started to talk about our own. Meanwhile we're fucked over here in America.

[B]

And what the hell is my tax dollars even going to. Because it sure the hell ain't fixing the pothole that's in front of my damn apartment complex. Had its own zip coded subdivision. It's got four cul de sacs in it.

[A]

That bitch has fucking a three bedroom, two bathroom mansion in that

[B]

anyways. Abolished income tax. Whatever President gets a rid of the income tax. I'll vote to make you the king.

[A]

Hell yeah. I don't care what party you're from.

[B]

I don't care nothing. I don't care about anything. If you get rid of the income tax, I'll vote to make you the vote for me.

[A]

Monarch 2020, 2046. And I will abolish the income tax.

[B]

Lord's come back before them.

[A]

Well, I thought he's come back for 2021. We know not the time nor the hour.

[B]

No, but we know it's needs to be soon. Because I'm tired of paying them taxes.

[A]

I am to Lord, please come get us before next April or October. Because I filed an extension. I'm not going to go through the rest of them. But the 18th is prohibition of liquor. Means you couldn't drink. Which they reappeared. They appealed that one, I think. Or something amended it. Could be the right.

[B]

They didn't appeal it. They amended it. Yeah, yeah. Oh, this is not liquor, this is champagne. It's actually Prosecco.

[A]

Is that liquor?

[B]

No, I said it's not liquor, it's wine. Prosecco.

[A]

Sparkling wine.

[B]

Oh, we've been on a roll this episode.

[A]

Have we? Because I feel like we ain't talked about shit.

[B]

But you know, we never talk about anything important.

[A]

That drink kind of tastes like cardboard.

[B]

Mine kind of tastes like stack electricity.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Does it not kind of wire you on the inside? You know what I'm doing after this? Actually going home and taking a nap.

[A]

Why? Yesterday you took a nap. And I texted Landon yesterday because we parked behind each other because we have a parking spot at our complex now. And I said, hey, I'm moving your car. My sunglasses fell. I said, hey, I'm moving your car. I'm going to Whole Foods. And I went to Whole Foods and then Landon never texted me back. Got back to the apartment, two hours went by, never text me back. I said, what are you doing? An hour went by, he never texted me back. So you called me FaceTimed him. He didn't answer me. So then I called him. Thought he was dead. No, I thought, what if he died and we have to record the podcast tomorrow and I'm. What am I gonna do? Because I don't. I ain't gonna know what to talk about. Cause if I think I had to record a solo episode, I'd die.

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

Cause I can't sit and ramble that long.

[B]

You can. Trust you can.

[A]

Wouldn't be fun.

[B]

No, but you can ramble.

[A]

Shut the hell up. And I called him.

[B]

That's a compliment. Low key.

[A]

I called him and he said, hello. I said, hey, what are we gonna talk about tomorrow on the podcast? He said, I'll call you back in five minutes. I said, why? He said, I'm going back to bed. What's the point in going back to bed for five minutes?

[B]

Well, you just woke me up from my nap.

[A]

Well, I will say you're well, you napped for three damn hours. So I really did you a favor.

[B]

From 3:30 to 5:30.

[A]

But that's two hours. But. Oh, I texted you yesterday. Oh, I just got a text.

[B]

Who was it? Anybody important? He looks startled. Who is it?

[A]

Alex. Oh. So I texted you yesterday and you finally woke up. And then he FaceTimed me late last night. He said, what'd you eat for dinner? I said, a sweet potato and cheese. He said, I didn't eat dinner and I don't feel like waiting on door dash, so I think I'm gonna be skinny and go to bed hungry.

[B]

And I did. I went to bed hungry. Why? Because I just didn't feel like waiting on doordash because it doesn't matter where we're at. The dashers here take 30 minutes. But I love doordash.

[A]

But you had cereal.

[B]

And I'm doordashing when I get home and I need to go grocery shopping.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I feel like we always need to go grocery shopping because I never have groceries. But I'm also leaving.

[A]

I'm addicted to the grocery store.

[B]

Leaving Thursday morning, going out of town.

[A]

Landon's going to the beach solo.

[B]

I am going to the beach solo. First solo vacation.

[A]

How do you feel?

[B]

I'm excited. I. People were comment on my Snapchat story saying, like, you, like I would be so bored. I could talk. I would be talking to the wall like, oh. Going to restaurants by myself. Like, I could never eat alone or whatever. But like, people don't realize I've been doing that for years.

[A]

I could have went, but I decided not to because first of all, the hotels were expensive. As hell. And not because I don't have the money. Because I don't want to spend the money to go for three days at the beach. Because that's enough to just piss you off. In my opinion. When I go to the. I want a week.

[B]

I differ from that. When I go to the beach, I only want about three days is all I can handle.

[A]

Really.

[B]

I don't want standing.

[A]

I think I just want to wait because it's so damn far away.

[B]

It's five hours. Six hours.

[A]

That's too damn far away. Yeah, unless I'm flying.

[B]

I did look for plane tickets last night.

[A]

Okay. Did you find any?

[B]

No, but it is far. But it's gonna be good. We're gonna not put on music. So I listen to music. We're gonna prop my phone up on the dash of my car cuz I drive a Tesla and it's flat and I'll put it in my little phone holder and I'll watch Netflix all the way down there. That's six episodes of my show.

[A]

Okay, well that's illegal, but whatever you say. What are you going to watch?

[B]

It's not illegal if you don't get caught.

[A]

What are you going to watch?

[B]

I don't know. I'll find something.

[A]

What's your show?

[B]

I don't know. I'm just saying I'm going to find something. I'm not watching a show right now.

[A]

I really need new things to watch because I'm fresh out.

[B]

I want to be movie star.

[A]

Would love to be an actor.

[B]

And not even a movie star. I don't got to be a star.

[A]

I would love to be an actor.

[B]

One acting gig.

[A]

I think I would be so good at it.

[B]

We would be. I think we should, you know, like what's her name? Melissa McCarthy. She. But she don't have to act, she just plays herself. Yeah, I feel like we could do that in a. In a show or a movie.

[A]

I want my own reality TV show. Like a sitcom. Could you imagine our life as a sitcom?

[B]

No.

[A]

We'd get so canceled we couldn't work at McDonald's.

[B]

We wouldn't even be able to work at Taco Bell.

[A]

I couldn't work at Taco Bell because I'd eat the menu. They came out with this new menu item and I cannot wait. I think I'm gonna go get it after this.

[B]

I almost doordash a grilled cheese burrito last night.

[A]

They came out with this new quesarito. It's like a Taco Bell.

[B]

If you hear my cry, please Bring back the chicken taquita.

[A]

The rolled chicken tacos. If you can hear me, clap twice. Bring back the rolled chicken taco. I love to dip them in sour

[B]

cream and spicy ranch.

[A]

Spicy ranch. But I will say this, I do not. With a chipotle sauce.

[B]

That is an abomination.

[A]

It's just so nasty.

[B]

You know, we were talking about the Bible earlier. Katina.

[A]

Chicken taco with no sauce. Just the chicken and the cheese and then I guess.

[B]

So it's dry Sahara desert. Drier than Betty White's cooter. No. Oh, okay.

[A]

I dip mine in sour cream and that's fine.

[B]

But you need extra sauce.

[A]

I don't actually. Or get some Taco Bell mild sauce. Sorry, I just burped into the camera. I meant the microphone.

[B]

Well, he's done it again. You need times. Oh, now he's choking and dying, y'.

[A]

All, this episode is all over the place. But people love it when we don't have anything important.

[B]

I know.

[A]

We just randomly.

[B]

I do have something important to say.

[A]

What would that be?

[B]

Scan your food and your groceries at the Walmart.

[A]

I love to do that. I love to go in and look at something that I think is really good for me because the Internet says it is. And then I scan it and then it tells me that I'm gonna grow three extra toes and have cancer of the backbone.

[B]

What's the last?

[A]

Well, Landon has no bedside manner. He doesn't know how to turn off his.

[B]

No, listen. What's the last thing you scanned? What was the score? Do you remember?

[A]

Probably a protein bar that said it was healthy and all natural, and it was like a 49, which means it wasn't healthy, which means it's deadly ice cream.

[B]

My deodorant last. Okay, by the way, we're talking about the olive app. We've said this in a lot of episodes. Now it's an app. It's like a holistic food scanner app. But you can also scan, like, your

[A]

products like deodorant, body wash, things like

[B]

shampoo, all that stuff. And it gives you a score out of 100. And it tells you, like, all the toxins and seed oils, all kinds of stuff like that.

[A]

Our viewers can go to the link in the description below and get a seven day free trial when they download.

[B]

Or you can just go to the App Store and download it and get a seven day free trial.

[A]

Yeah, go check it out.

[B]

It's good.

[A]

Love it.

[B]

I do, too. And I do. I've gotten to where I do it for fun.

[A]

Now I do too. I just.

[B]

Because I'm nosy, and then I end

[A]

up staying in the grocery store for another hour.

[B]

But I love just scanning stuff. The last thing I scanned was a 30 out of 100, which means it was pretty healthy.

[A]

30 out of 100 is not healthy.

[B]

Are you sure?

[A]

I'm positive. That's an F. No, I'm saying, like,

[B]

30 was in green.

[A]

No, 30 is not in green. 70 or higher is in green. I think 30 is red. It's the same as like a grading scale in school. Don't listen to Landon.

[B]

Well, I scanned it and I didn't know that it was. It was healthy, and I got it because it was healthy. You. Do you like a rice cake?

[A]

If I have, like, peanut butter and honey on it, I'll eat it. A rice cake with peanut butter honey and like a caramel rice cake with peanut butter honey.

[B]

And you said caramel. I'm proud of you.

[A]

And strawberries or bananas. Actually, very good. And cinnamon. You should try it.

[B]

Well, I like that kind of stuff. I didn't think you like that kind of stuff.

[A]

Why? Because I'm fat?

[B]

No, I just. You never eat it. I never see you eat it.

[A]

I don't eat it in front of people. I mean, I don't just show up, roll up with a snack of a rice cake. I normally stick to Doritos in a social environment.

[B]

I love a Dorito. Do you like a Dorito? What's your favorite color Dorito? Purple bag blue or purple and red.

[A]

I will say, though, Dorito just came out with like, this new brand called Naked.

[B]

It tastes the same.

[A]

It's just a Dorito without the seasoning on it.

[B]

It tastes.

[A]

I like that because I like to suck. This isn't an awful lot of them,

[B]

but it tastes the same. The seasoning is still on there. Yes. It's just not colored.

[A]

When did you have.

[B]

And don't have the all the other in it.

[A]

When did you have it?

[B]

I don't know the exact day.

[A]

I know you ain't buy no damn naked.

[B]

January 27th at 11:14.

[A]

They didn't have them in January.

[B]

Yes, they did.

[A]

I don't think they did.

[B]

You want to make about.

[A]

Yeah, look it up. Okay.

[B]

When did the.

[A]

When did the naked Dorito debut?

[B]

When I know I'm right because I'd

[A]

be looking for snacks and cheat sheets. Let me tell you something. My ass is sore from sitting in this chair.

[B]

I don't know why, because these chairs are sore. December 1st of 2025.

[A]

Okay. Well, you can suck an Ass. Because you didn't have them in January.

[B]

Yes, I did.

[A]

I don't believe you.

[B]

Where'd you go? You don't have to believe me. I ate it at my mom's house. Cause she bought them and I didn't.

[A]

Ain't no damn way. Jennifer, your mom is loyal to the red bag.

[B]

I feel like my mom is only loyal to the red bag when she's eating a ass. When. When she's eating cheese dip. You've ever had Dorito dipped in cheese dip?

[A]

I have actually.

[B]

Who are you talking to? You've been on the phone a lot this episode.

[A]

Nunya business.

[B]

Okay, well, I'm gonna check my phone then. If you're checking your phone. Raleigh.

[A]

Yes, sir.

[B]

Get back to the program.

[A]

Okay. This episode sucks.

[B]

You think it does? Yeah, I don't think it does. We'll let our viewers know we've run out of juice. We were a little down.

[A]

We can't put this in.

[B]

Yeah, we can.

[A]

No, we're not.

[B]

We. We were just a little down when we came in to record this morning.

[A]

Cut this part out.

[B]

No, we're not cutting out. Why would we cut it out?

[A]

We are because we it up.

[B]

We did.

[A]

What are we gonna talk about?

[B]

The viewers will let us know if we.

[A]

No, we're cutting this out. Real. What are we talking about?

[B]

No, we're not cutting it out.

[A]

Definitely are.

[B]

I'm the boss.

[A]

I'll edit the episode.

[B]

I'll edit this episode. First one in a minute and I'll edit it. I'm going to be on a three day vacation. This episode. I'll have all the time in the world.

[A]

Landon, you won't do shit for work on your three day vacation.

[B]

I will. I have to vlog the whole entire trip. I've got some sponsors that are working with me.

[A]

Okay, well, you do that. I am also starting to vlog. I have decided to take it upon myself to buy a vlogging camera.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So go to the description box below and subscribe to my YouTube because I'm going to vlog and I hope you

[B]

do a wonderful job.

[A]

And do you want to go do a mukbang later?

[B]

No. Why? Because it's your channel, not mine.

[A]

You wouldn't like to make a guest

[B]

appearance whenever you're monetizing? Then you can pay me and I'll make a guest appearance.

[A]

Oh, no, that's not how that works.

[B]

But you won't. It won't be as good unless I'm in it. So I need to help you get monetized.

[A]

I don't believe that for a second.

[B]

It's not. Yeah. It's just, you know.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. But no, I don't want to do a mugbang.

[A]

Okay. What? You suck.

[B]

If we doordash, we can do a mukbang in my apartment.

[A]

Okay. I have a little.

[B]

I just want to go somewhere.

[A]

That's fine. Okay, let's doordash.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Where are we on doordash?

[B]

Wingstop.

[A]

I can't have Wingstop.

[B]

They have celery and carrot sticks.

[A]

You think I'm gonna eat celery and a carrot stick? Over a wing?

[B]

No, over a French fry.

[A]

I ain't. That's.

[B]

The wing aren't bad. The wings aren't bad for you.

[A]

They are the way I like them. Garlic parmesan. Yeah. Tax on the calories.

[B]

Riley, I think you're the funniest human that I've ever met in my life.

[A]

Well, thank you. I think I am too.

[B]

I really think that.

[A]

I think.

[B]

I think so. People always ask if Riley is funnier than me, and he is. Like, I know that.

[A]

I'm glad he's self aware.

[B]

I am so.

[A]

Me and Landon are funniest together. We set each other up. Someone said they.

[B]

I will say this, and just like you just said, Riley's not as funny by himself as he is with me in his presence.

[A]

I think I'm just funny around people. I agree with what you said, but I think, honestly, you are, because I'm just. I feed on you.

[B]

You have the ability to entertain.

[A]

Like, if we ever do go on tour for the podcast, I think it will be great because I think the positive energy in the room will fire us up.

[B]

Raleigh's the reason I'm skinny. That's what I tell people because he makes me laugh so hard that I have abs.

[A]

Well, you need to get funnier because I ain't got none, because I need some. And it's gonna take a lot of laughter to get break through this.

[B]

You laugh a lot. And my jokes behind the scenes, a lot better than they're on the podcast

[A]

because they get us canceled. Sorry, we can't air Landon's jokes because they are rated PG 13. They're rated R. MA for mature.

[B]

They're actually rated Z.

[A]

The up.

[B]

See, nobody would have ever thought to say that.

[A]

You're right. And they wouldn't have, because I'm on the spectrum. Let's get into bloodline brain check.

[B]

Okay. I don't have anything prepared for this episode for bloodline brain check, so you'll have to do that. Oh, I do have to say something while you're doing that. I went to the bathroom earlier, before the podcast episode.

[A]

Huh?

[B]

And I was peeing and I mashed the button in. Thing. Like, this is why I don't trust a button in a bathroom. I need you to pay attention to me. This is important.

[A]

You trust a sliding.

[B]

I trust a sliding lock. I don't trust a button because I mashed the button in and it went in and somebody still came in on me in the bathroom.

[A]

What'd they do?

[B]

Oh, I'm so sorry. And I was like, oh, no, you're good. Whatever. It's my fault. But, like, what was I. The button didn't much.

[A]

It's not your fault. It's the architect's phone.

[B]

I like a sliding lock.

[A]

Okay, ready for bloodline brain tape? Yes. What is the only continent with no active volcanoes?

[B]

The only continent. Africa.

[A]

No.

[B]

Is that even a continent?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Asia.

[A]

No.

[B]

Well, it can't be the United States of America.

[A]

Well, United States of America isn't a continent, but.

[B]

Well, North America. It can't be North America. Okay, you're right, because we have Hawaii.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And something's always exploding there. Probably because Oprah Winfrey wants to play it.

[A]

Allegedly.

[B]

Allegedly.

[A]

What? What is it?

[B]

I don't know. I ran out of continents.

[A]

Australia.

[B]

Okay. But they got spiders the size of

[A]

a softball, so don't go down there unless you want to get bit.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Anyways, how many teeth does the average adult have?

[B]

37.

[A]

No.

[B]

27.

[A]

No.

[B]

I don't know, 32. 32.

[A]

How many zeros are in 1 million?

[B]

Six.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Which organ can regenerate itself?

[B]

Well, hell, the kidney.

[A]

No.

[B]

The liver.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

How many flare?

[B]

My liver does a lot of regeneration.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How many players are on the field at one time for a game of NFL? Landon don't even like sports.

[B]

I do.

[A]

Like, he can't even tell you what the quarterback does.

[B]

Yes, I can.

[A]

What?

[B]

They throw the ball.

[A]

What is the wide receiver do?

[B]

Receive the ball.

[A]

Okay. Last week you said they called the ball. Or last note. Last week you said the quarterback ran the ball.

[B]

That's the running back.

[A]

Yeah. I'm so glad you've became. Maybe you should go to Alabama more often. How many players?

[B]

18. Hell, that's the whole team. That's what I thought you meant. Like, on the field at the same time.

[A]

In one team.

[B]

Oh, eight.

[A]

No.

[B]

What?

[A]

Eleven.

[B]

Eleven. Okay.

[A]

What is the tallest mammal on Earth?

[B]

Tallest mammal. Giraffe. Yes. Okay.

[A]

How many colors are in the rainbow?

[B]

How many calories are in the rainbow. How many colors. Are ova? G?

[A]

B?

[B]

7.

[A]

Would you bev. Okay. What is the name of the Toy Cowboy and Toy Story?

[B]

I've never watched Toy Story.

[A]

That is so. You need a childhood.

[B]

I've never watched it.

[A]

You've never watched Toy Story? No. Landon, Toy Story 5 is about to come out.

[B]

Damn. I didn't even know we made it past one.

[A]

Oh, my. Please don't cancel us.

[B]

Well, who is it?

[A]

Negligence. Woody.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I knew that.

[A]

What is his best friend's name?

[B]

Martha? Buzz.

[A]

Buzz Lightyear?

[B]

Bud Light?

[A]

You are dumber than shit. Damn, Landon. That's pathetic.

[B]

You just asked me a question. I'm not. I'm bloodline brain checking you today.

[A]

What country invented pizza?

[B]

Italy.

[A]

Yes. How many years are in a century?

[B]

Ten.

[A]

No, that's a decade.

[B]

Twenty.

[A]

No.

[B]

A hundred. You're dumb as.

[A]

Okay, lighten. It's my turn.

[B]

No, I'm not.

[A]

Yes, you are. Had to throw my phone to him because he's a slacker.

[B]

How many animals of each kind did Moses take on the ark?

[A]

Two. No. Yes, the. He did. Jesus.

[B]

How many animals of each kind did Moses take on the ark?

[A]

Moses didn't take on the ark. It was Noah.

[B]

Exactly. So the answer.

[A]

But Noah brought two.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Moses burned the bush.

[B]

Bitch. What's that song? The Isaac, sing it in the den. Lion's den. Come on now. Isaac, sing it. Shadrach. Meshach.

[A]

Shadrach, Meshach. And Abednego.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Fourth man in the fire.

[B]

Yeah. And the fourth man in the fire was who?

[A]

Jesus stuff. And that's why the rest of them what didn't burn.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Keep going.

[B]

If an electric train is going south, which way does the smoke blow?

[A]

South.

[B]

Right. If an electric train is going.

[A]

Oh, it's electric. It don't blow smoke.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Go ahead.

[B]

Yeah. A farmer has 17 sheep and all but nine die. How many are left?

[A]

Seventeen sheep, and all but nine. Nine.

[B]

Yes. You've seen these?

[A]

No, I haven't.

[B]

What gets wetter the more it dries?

[A]

Ask me real questions.

[B]

What gets wetter the more it dries? Us.

[A]

You're asking me dumb questions. Ask me real questions. I ask you real questions. Ask it for more.

[B]

What gets wetter the more it dries?

[A]

I don't fucking know.

[B]

Yes, you do.

[A]

Wetter the more it dries. No fucking clothes.

[B]

A towel.

[A]

Okay. Ask me real questions.

[B]

What has a neck but no head? What has a neck but no head?

[A]

I don't know. Ask me real questions.

[B]

A bottle.

[A]

He's asking me stupid questions. Because he didn't know any of the answers to his.

[B]

Hold on, I'm talking to ChatGPT.

[A]

Yeah, people are going to say we're destroying the environment because of this.

[B]

Why?

[A]

Because apparently it takes up all the water or some shit.

[B]

Okay, these are not good questions. Hold on.

[A]

Holding on again. Say, give me more.

[B]

I did, and it's asking me. Your chat is stupid.

[A]

Okay, well, ask me and your chat

[B]

knows who you are.

[A]

Ask yourself.

[B]

So that means you're stupid. Really?

[A]

Because you couldn't answer any of the questions I gave you. Ooh. Burn, bitch.

[B]

How many hearts does a squid have?

[A]

4.

[B]

3. Mm. You were very confident in that.

[A]

Did you know that?

[B]

Yeah, I did know.

[A]

The fuck you did.

[B]

Yes, I did.

[A]

Because you have it on your screen.

[B]

Exactly. What's the most common blood type in the United States?

[A]

A.

[B]

No.

[A]

Positive.

[B]

No.

[A]

B?

[B]

No.

[A]

C. No. O positive.

[B]

Yes. Oh. What animal's fingerprints are almost identical to humans?

[A]

Gorillas. No. Apes. Okay, well, that just debunked all you fuckers that believe in evolution.

[B]

Yes, it did. A koala.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What do they eat?

[A]

Bamboo.

[B]

Yes. What's the largest internal organ in the human body?

[A]

Skin. No, internal.

[B]

Internal. But if it was external, that would be correct.

[A]

Liver.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Liver's big.

[B]

I didn't know that.

[A]

Yeah, your liver is big because it's working off all the vodka.

[B]

What country consumes the most coffee per person? You're never gonna guess this, but just think of a dolphin or shark.

[A]

Country.

[B]

What country consumes the most?

[A]

Think of a dolphin.

[B]

Or a shark. Yeah. Or a fish. This is. That was a really good hint.

[A]

Country.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

The United States.

[B]

No. Y' all will agree that this is.

[A]

I've asked you this before.

[B]

What country consumes the most coffee per person? The word. And then I told you the country's name. And then I told you. Think of a dolphin, a shark. I don't know.

[A]

The Bahamas.

[B]

No. And then think of what farmers do.

[A]

Just tell me the fucking answer.

[B]

What do farmers do? What? What? What do they have? What do farmers have?

[A]

A lot of land.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What?

[B]

Finland? Who the f. Finch you? That was a good hint.

[A]

It is a landlocked country. I'm thinking of shit that has a lot of dolphins in it.

[B]

I said, what country consumes the most coffee?

[A]

Dolphin. Land.

[B]

Coffee.

[A]

Sharkland. Bitch. Come on, now.

[B]

That was a good hint. In hindsight. Do you not agree that that was a good hint?

[A]

In hindsight. But I didn't know the hindsight.

[B]

What is the group of flamingos called.

[A]

At the rubble?

[B]

No, I didn't even know this? This is actually kind of funny.

[A]

Flamingo? I don't know.

[B]

Flamboyant. What planet spins on its side?

[A]

Saturn.

[B]

No.

[A]

Jupiter. No. Mercury. Uranus.

[B]

Yes. Okay. You should know this one, you little golf pro.

[A]

What?

[B]

How many dimples does a golf ball usually have?

[A]

I don't know. Who the hell knows that? 52.

[B]

No.

[A]

120.

[B]

No.

[A]

Who? 336. Who the hell counts the dimples on a golf ball?

[B]

Somebody did.

[A]

If I ever get that board, shoot me.

[B]

What is the only continent that crosses all four hemispheres?

[A]

Asia.

[B]

No.

[A]

Russia.

[B]

Russia's not a continent.

[A]

Russia on Asia.

[B]

Russia's not a continent.

[A]

Russia's on Europe. Europe?

[B]

No.

[A]

The usa?

[B]

No.

[A]

North America? South America?

[B]

Australia?

[A]

Africa. Who the knew that?

[B]

I don't know why I just said it like that.

[A]

The Wildcats is the only people that knew that. You talk like that because that's how Shakira talks.

[B]

What does she say?

[A]

Cause this is Africa.

[B]

Is she from Africa? Is she from Africa?

[A]

Yes. Go.

[B]

Oh. What part of your body has the smallest bones? This is the last one.

[A]

Your feet. Your hands. No.

[B]

Your ear.

[A]

There's that bone in this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I thought it was cartilage.

[A]

Okay, let's get into cousin council.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right, everybody, welcome back to cousin council. And remember, if you have any submissions, confessions, anything you want to tell us, email team@bloodlinement official.com Since Cousin Counsel has

[B]

been so outstanding and we've been wonderful

[A]

in the courtroom instead of being appointed to the supreme court. Today's cousin council segment is brought to you by Morgan and Morgan.

[B]

Amen. So for the people.

[A]

For the people.

[B]

Anyways, let's get started.

[A]

Kylie says, I've been dating my boyfriend for about two years and he only showers about once a week. He stinks.

[B]

Sue him.

[A]

How do I tell him? How do I tell him? You come in and you say, hey, I was at the Walmart and they were running a sale for soap. It was buy two, get one free. So I decided to buy two and get one free. This one's for you. Test it out more than once. You're supposed to use it five days in a row and see if it makes you smell better. Test it out. Let me know how it goes.

[B]

Actually, seven days in a row.

[A]

Yeah. For the rest of your life.

[B]

And if he doesn't, he's a liability.

[A]

Yes, he is.

[B]

And liabilities in the court don't work out anyways. I have one.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

My grandma refuses to use her turn signal because she says it's nobody's business where she's going. Okay. Granny, last week she caused a ruckus. Three cars hit their brakes and one ended up in the ditch. Grandma says it's not her fault because everybody should have been, quote, paying attention.

[A]

Okay, well, Granny needs to pay more attention.

[B]

Yeah, I don't know what you need to tell Granny, but the person that ended up in the ditch needs to check out Morgan and Morgan.

[A]

They need to check out Morgan. Morgan and Morgan for the people, baby. They are the United States largest personal injury law firm with more than a thousand attorneys in all 50 states, plus Washington, D.C. and oh, yeah.

[B]

And although they'll protect you at the Capitol. This is a submission for Grandma. I think it could be used for

[A]

the other people, for anybody. So if you find yourself in a wreck or any kind of situation, check out Morgan and Morgan.

[B]

No, but I would tell Grandma it's time to be done.

[A]

I would tell grandma it's time.

[B]

It's time to get off the road.

[A]

To give up the keys.

[B]

Give up the keys.

[A]

Yeah, it is.

[B]

Find you a driver.

[A]

Okay, last question. This comes from Isabella. This kind of a more heartfelt question. What made you decide to become content creators? I think we've already talked about this, but this happened by accident. I posted a video one time about me drinking Starbucks coffee and it being a natural, like so sensitive.

[B]

A liability. Starbucks coffee is a liability.

[A]

And you, I don't know if Morgan

[B]

and Morgan helps with that, but I'm

[A]

telling you, you could bend over and throw a screen door, not even touch it. So, yeah, this was accident for me. How about you?

[B]

It was an accident for me too. I actually started before you. I went viral sophomore year, high school. I think I was talking about a Snapchat streak or a slo. No, it was not a Snapchat streak. If you go to famous birthdays, it tells you that. I was talking about a slow moving car in front of me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I was groping about a slow driver.

[A]

So if you would have put them in the ditch, they would have had to call Morgan and Morgan.

[B]

They were going to put me in the ditch.

[A]

Then you would had to call Morgan

[B]

and Morgan and I would have.

[A]

There you go.

[B]

Morgan and Morgan for the people and for Landon Mock and Riley Mitchell.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

And anybody else that might need them,

[A]

that may need them.

[B]

And they will fight hard to get you a settlement. Want somebody do it.

[A]

Amen. Want somebody praise him. This is a paid advertisement. What are you doing the rest of the day?

[B]

You've asked me that at least.

[A]

You don't even know. No, I'm going to go to Doordash and take a nap.

[B]

I love a doordash.

[A]

I love sit down and eat.

[B]

You want to go to a restaurant?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, I'm not complaining. If we did, where we go, I don't care. Well, we won't go nowhere.

[B]

He's gonna take me back for wanting Doordash.

[A]

Take me back home.

[B]

Really.

[A]

Anyway, hope you all have a good day. Make sure to subscribe to our YouTube. Follow us anywhere you get your podcasts, and we'll see you next Thursday.

[B]

Amen. Love you. Bye.

[A]

Love you. Bye.